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The 30 Funniest Resumes and Job Applications We’ve Ever Seen

Michael Samuel

As seen in:

When searching for a job , it’s crucial to have a résumé that packs a punch and grabs the attention of the hiring manager.

But let’s face it, some people take it a little too far and end up being the laughing stock of the HR department.

We went down the internet rabbit hole and stumbled upon some of the most hilarious résumés and job applications that will have you rollin’ on the floor laughin’.

From listing “World domination” as a career goal to “Fluent in sarcasm” as a language, these candidates truly went above and beyond in standing out from the crowd- for better or for worse.

So, without wasting too much time, we present to you 30 of the most ridiculous résumés and job applications that will have you chuckling- of course you never want to replicate these.

1. The Expert Communicator

The self-proclaimed “expert communicator” has got some serious confidence, but let’s be real- unless he’s planning on becoming a stand-up comedian, we’re unsure what kind of job he’s actually qualified for.

He hasn’t got any transferable skills and definitely got some work to do if he wants to prove his skills beyond just talking a big game.

2. The “Pharmaceutical Sales Rep”

This candidate is refreshingly candid…or perhaps too candid. From lacking formal education to running a “weed delivery service”, it’s clear he has some sales skills, but probably not the kind you want in a professional office setting.

But hey, at least he is not afraid to think outside the box and diversify his revenue streams!

3. The egotistical Actor

Is this even a résumé or just a comedic masterpiece? Daryl clearly couldn’t decide on just one photo of himself, so he gifted us with a triptych of vanity.

And if that wasn’t enough, he even manages to brag about getting cast as a rapist. Smooth move, Daryl.

4. A teen with a killer sense of humor

This clever young whipper-snapper not only made the hiring manager laugh, but landed himself a gig flipping burgers at McDonald’s with his clever and candid responses.

Who knew being a smartass could pay off?

5. The Cream of the Crop

This dashingly debonair candidate believes he is the crème de la crème of the job market. He certainly has a lot of chutzpah for applying for a job in such a bold way.

Find out: 10 Signs an Interview Went Well or Bad

6. Or, you know… Whatever floats your boat!

I mean, let’s be real, who wouldn’t be impressed by an applicant with lightning-fast reflexes like a cat, a laugh that sounds like a horse and an appetite that could feed a small army?!

7. The Big Boss

A self-proclaimed Boss who boasts about being a jack of all trades, but has a résumé as empty as a clown car at a funeral. Who wouldn’t want to roll the dice and hire this stud muffin?

8. What an interesting hobby!

Brad had been circulating his résumé with this peculiar hobby listed on it for a while before he finally realized that his pal had written it as a prank. Brad, my dear boy… you got pranked!

9. The “I don’t give a hoot” guy

Let’s be real, we’ve all been there, not giving a single care in the world. But, listing it on your résumé as a skill? That’s a whole different level of “0- f*cks”

10. Could this be serious?

This has got to be some kind of prank, from the terrible photo to the jailbird story. I’m honestly a bit scared to even read this résumé, let alone meet the infamous Mr. Santangelo in person.

11. Ms Desperation

This applicant’s résumé is a hot mess, with typos and errors galore, but the cherry on top is the bold and underlined “HIRE ME” written at the bottom.

It’s like she was screaming “I’m desperate, please hire me!” at the top of her lungs. But hey, at least she’s passionate about finding a job.

12. The ultimate summer gig

This brilliant young mind, with a heart of gold and a knack for typos, is on the hunt for the ultimate summer gig. Talk about ambition!

13. When it comes to résumés, sometimes less is more

This applicant took the idea of “simplicity” to a whole new level. I mean, a single line stating degree and give me the job? That’s like showing up to a job interview in sweatpants. But hey, maybe he is a minimalist and trying to prove a point. Or maybe he just had a really bad day and forgot to finish his résumé. Either way, I’m not convinced this direct approach will land him the job, but I’m definitely convinced it’s a good laugh.

Find out: How to Create a Job-Winning Resume with No Education

14. Nicolas Cage-ing it

This applicant took “thinking outside the box” to a whole new level by attaching a hilarious picture of none other than Nicolas Cage instead of their résumé.

A reminder to all job seekers: always double, triple, and quadruple check your attachments before hitting send. Otherwise, you might just end up Cage-ing it and making a Nicolas Cage-y of yourself.

15. The c*ck

Talk about a poultry disaster of a résumé! Let’s just say this isn’t the fowl-proof way to apply for a catering job.

16. Oh snap!

Looks like someone skipped the lesson on manners in kindergarten. I know a little bit of cheekiness can be charming, but this résumé is straight up disrespectful and in-your-face.

It’s a résumé that would make even the most easy-going person want to wash their eyes with soap.

17. The devil wears Prada?

More like the devil wears Prague! Who knew the Prince of Darkness had such a love for the Czech Republic? Not to talk about a fashion faux pas.

If you’re gonna drop a movie reference, make sure you’ve got the title right, otherwise, you might end up looking like a fool. I mean, have you ever even heard of “Devil Wears Prague”? I sure haven’t.

18. The Master Distractor

This applicant’s thought process is a bit like a game of telephone, it gets lost in translation. While it’s funny, his massive ego might just be a distraction to his own work.

But hey, at least he’ll make the office more entertaining.

19. References? More like “references-less”!

Lucky for this résumé, it wasn’t thrown in the trash with the rest of its reference-less comrades.

20. Going Bananas

Is this a résumé created by a child with a love for WordArt? It may leave a lasting impression, but probably not the one you want.

21. Google autocomplete

We’ve all had our fair share of autocomplete mishaps, but this candidate took it to a whole new level by letting Google do all the heavy lifting on their résumé.

While it’s certainly amusing, we’re unsure it’s the best way to highlight your skills and qualifications. But hey, at least he has a good sense of humor and creativity on his side.

Maybe he should apply for a job at Google, they seem to have a pretty good understanding of the inner workings.

22. The death certificate

Talk about going the extra mile for a job, this candidate must have had a sixth sense because he knew when a position was open before it was even advertised.

How did he know? Well, he sent in a death certificate of the previous employee with his application as proof that the spot was up for grabs. I have to say, it’s a bold move but also a bit morbid, I would not expect him to land the job but he definitely made an impression.

23. The one and only GoT and Stranger Things expert!

This résumé may not be a work of art, but it’s clear that this person has a serious dedication to binge-watching and snacking.

If you’re looking for someone who can tell you the difference between a White Walker and a Demogorgon with their eyes closed, then look no further! Just don’t expect them to leave their living room anytime soon.

24. Pandemic résumé

We’ve all been through a lot during the pandemic, and this résumé perfectly captures the essence of it all.

From “staring into the void” to “crying in car”, this job seeker has truly mastered the art of summarizing the pandemic experience in one document. But let’s be real, we all know that the real skill listed here has the ability to make HR managers laugh out loud while reading the résumé.

Looks like the caped crusader himself, Batman, decided to take a break from fighting crime and applied for a job in the hospitality industry.

But instead of listing his salary expectations in dollars and cents, he wrote “justice” as his desired pay. Now, I’m not sure if this was a joke or not, but if it was serious, I’m pretty sure he won’t be getting a call back from HR.

26. Insert text here

Listen up folks, if you’re using a résumé template and you come across a little phrase that says “Insert text here”- never leave it there like a clueless buffoon.

It may not be the end of the world, but it’s like showing up to a job interview wearing crocs, it screams “I don’t give a hoot.” So, before you hit send, double check for any “Insert text here” or “Lorem Ipsum” placeholder text and delete it like it’s your ex’s number. Trust me, it’s for your own good.

27. The race and sex change

Marissa will never forget the time she received a résumé with a picture of a man of a different race. Apparently, the job seeker had used a résumé template and forgot to replace the stock photo with a picture of themselves.

Can you just imagine the look on the hiring manager’s face when this individual walked into the interview? Not to talk about a case of mistaken identity!

28. The wild bear fighter

If the company is looking for someone who isn’t afraid to take on the wild, then this applicant is their huckleberry. The applicant is not just willing, but eager to take on a bear in the ring. Imagine the company picnic, when the boss says “let’s roast marshmallows”, this person would reply “let’s roast bear”.

29. A typical teenager (or so we thought)

This résumé would definitely make a hiring manager do a double take, if it wasn’t a joke, that is.

This girl’s father decided to have a little fun and create a résumé for her, listing skills such as “expert in procrastination”, “champion of Netflix binges” and “able to eat entire pizza by oneself”- and let’s not forget the “giving out all clients information to fraudsters” and “chopping colleagues toes off with a spade” (ouch!)- it’s safe to say that this teenager is not your typical candidate.

30. Dungeons and Dragons

Are you a hardcore Dungeons and Dragons player wondering how to showcase your skills on a job application?

Look no further! We present to you the ultimate example of how to infuse a little fantasy into your résumé and impress those hiring managers. From “Dragon slaying” to “Quest completion rate”, who wouldn’t want to hire a boss level dungeon master like yourself?

So, grab your 20-sided die and let’s get rolling on the ultimate job application that will have everyone laughing and hiring you on the spot!

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, it’s vital to remember that a resume is often the first impression a potential employer has of you.

Ensure to take your job search seriously and avoid making the same mistakes as these jobseekers. Have you ever come across any funny resume or had any mishaps with your own applications? Share your stories in the comments section below.

While we find these resumes hilarious, they cannot be considered for the next stage of the hiring process. With our free expert resume ebook , you can ensure that your application stands out and presents you in the best light possible. Looking for a job? Try Jooble !

Further Reading

How a custom mobile app can help solve HR challenges

10+4 Reasons Why It’s Ok To Quit Your Job -CEOMichaelHR

6 Tips to Create a Powerful Wealth Management Resume

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Let us make you smile with some funny resume memes.

A day in a job hunter's life includes everything- from writing a resume, writing cover letters, filling up job application forms, and following up with the hiring managers. And it can be quite stressful. We get that.

No matter how many jobs you are applying for, you need to make separate documents for each company. It is quite a nerve-wracking job.

Well, we have some news that may help you cope. In the USA alone the unemployment rate is 6.3% . That means almost 10 million people are going through what you are going through right now.

So, keep calm and give yourself a break with a quick laugh.

Mark Twain once said—

"Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand."

With the concept "laughter as a stress relief" in mind, we have searched the web for the most funny resume memes to make you smile.

Enjoy this list of 19 resume funny memes that we have specially curated for you.

Perfect Use of "Keep Your Cover Letter Short"

What can we say? This is the hilarious resume pun example of our advice "keep your resume cover letter short."

But in reality, this might be a slight exaggeration. Yes, you need to keep your resume cover letter short. But at the same time, it needs to be professional, formal and grammatically correct.

When You Lie on Your Resume

This “when you lie on your resume meme" paints a hilarious picture of what happens when you lied on resume.

Everyone lies on their resume a bit.

But make sure to minimize your lies, or it will make a false impression of you, and you will face problems down the road.

It's Not What You Do, It's How You Tell It

These two funny resume memes are the classic example of how candidates converts basic skills and responsibilities into a nice and impressive format in the resume.

And, the best part is, it's not technically wrong. Recruiters prefer to see certain phrases and keywords on the resume. And that's why candidates use it on their resume.

Problems arise when candidates overuse it on their resumes.

So make sure to be mindful of how you describe your skills and achievements on the resume.

Also read : What are the power verbs best suited for a resume?

Formal or Informal Email, That Is the Question

There is a lot of confusion between candidates on what email address to use in their resume? And this resume meme perfectly describes what you should do.

Your personal email address may be anything like, [email protected] [email protected] etc.

But you should not use these email addresses on your resume. Instead, create a separate professional resume with only your name, such as [email protected] and include that email address on your resume.

Why Put All the Resume Information on the Job Application Form, Again?

This meme is a classic resume jokes of the age-old question of job seekers:

"Why should I put all the information again on the job application when I'm providing you with my resume?"

Let us give us the answer. Recruiters get 100s of resumes a day. And it isn't easy to open each resume, read and sort them out. That's why they ask you to put all your information in a job application form.

This application nicely sorts all the candidates' information in a single sheet, and recruiters can quickly sort the candidates without wasting time.

That Time When Your Resume Does Not Portray What You Say

This is a hilarious resume meme perfectly portrays how you should not include unnecessary skills on your resume. It will not be a deal-breaker if you don't have a particular skill, because you can quickly learn it.

But, it will not look good in your resume if the interviewer finds out that you are lying about your skills.

This funny resume skills meme also reminds you to always do a proper grammar check before sending the interviewer's resume.

Gap in Resume? Oh My God!

This meme sarcastically integrates the current job scenario in 2022 after the pandemic with a little pun. In the USA alone, almost 20 million people lost their jobs because of the pandemic. And it certainly reflected on their resume when the job market is opening again.

However, here is a little tip from our side. Do not make any excuses for your resume gap. Instead, explain the situation to your interviewer. If the reasons are proper, the interviewer will not reject you because of the career gap.

Also read : How to explain a career gap in your resume?

Highlight Achievements: Yes or No?

Freesume has created a brilliant resume meme cartoon on how not to over exaggerate your skills and achievements in your resume.

Everybody highlights their skills and work experience in their resume. And it is essential to know what to highlight and how much to highlight. For example, you certainly can not say that you have experience in specific tools for five years when the tool is around for only three years.

Also read : How to highlight your achievements in a resume?

Short and to the Point Resume: On Point!

What better way to make your resume short and to the point than this?

On a serious note, do not make your resume too much straight forward like this resume meme. Make sure your resume has all the essential information:

• Professional Summary
• Technical Skills
• Certification
• Professional Experience
• Extra/Co-Curricular Achievements/Additional

Be Truthful or Lie?

This resume meme accurately calls the candidate's dilemma to give accurate information on a resume or lie slightly to get an initial advantage.

But you need to remember that, the incorrect information on your resume might get you the interview. Still, the interviewer can easily figure out if you are telling the truth during the interview. And it can lead to rejection.

I Have Nothing to Say

This resume meme is a sarcastic example of what happens when you don't prepare for your interview.

Also read : How to introduce yourself in a job interview?

Moral Dilemma

In the previous section, we told you that you should not lie to your resume. We still stand by the statement. But this resume meme perfectly articulates how the unrealistic industry expectations sometimes force you to lie.

That is also why we always advise students or job seekers to do as many internships as possible with studies. It will make you job-ready and help you crack any interview.

When Your Resume Feels too Short

We all are guilty of this, aren't we? You started creating your resume and after finishing it, it doesn't feel impactful!

So, what do you do? You start adding random funny resume skills on your resume.

The truth is, recruiters only care about skills related to the job profile. Apart from that they will not consider any other skills that directly or indirectly do not add value to the job responsibilities.

In fact, sometimes too much unnecessary skills may distract the recruiter, and they might miss the essential skills they are looking for.

So, make sure to stick to the key skills, and if you want to highlight other skills, you can include it in the cover letter.

Also read : What are the skills to put in your resume in 2022?

When You Know You Made a Great Resume

Writing a resume is challenging. We know that.

But it also makes the feeling of writing an excellent resume really special. Every resume is a gateway of opportunity, and with writing every resume, you are continually creating new opportunities for yourself.

Resume References Make Everyone Cry

This is a hard truth wrapped up in this funny resume meme. It is difficult for the job seekers to find trustworthy people to be their reference. That is why many job seekers put their parents or friends or relatives as their reference.

It is also pain or sometimes frustrating for the interviews to see these inappropriate references on a resume.

Also read : How and when to add references on a resume?

Resume as a Word Document- Be Careful

If you send your resume in a word document to the interviewer, this resume meme accurately portrays why it is not a good idea.

Every person uses a different version of MS Word. And the alignment in the word document varies from computer to computer. You may perfectly align your resume in your system, but it may not open correctly on the recruiter's computer.

So, always make sure to send your resume in a PDF format to the recruiter.

Also read : What are the pros and cons of a resume in word format?

Online Resume Builder

Meanwhile, if you want to create ATS-optimized and professionally designed resumes, go to Hiration Online Resume Builder and choose from 15+ design templates to create one for yourself.

• Option to save unlimited resumes
• Intuitive next text suggestion
• Auto bold feature
• 25+ resume designs
• LIVE resume score
• JD-resume matcher
• Full rich-text editor
• Unlimited PDF downloads
• 100+ pre-filled resume templates
• 1-click design change
• A sharable link
• LIVE resume editor

Go ahead and try our Online Resume Builder and experience the professional resume-writing experience like never before!

Comics Sans Resume Font: You Are Playing with Fire

What font are you using on your resume?

Is it Comic Sans? Then you are playing with fire.

You need to use a professional resume font on your resume. These fonts are simple and easier to read. Also, make sure to keep the font size between 12-14 so that recruiters can easily read it.

With that, we have come to an end of this collection of resume memes. Hope you had a good laugh while also learning some valuable tips.

Also read : What are the font styles to choose for resume writing in 2022?

Resume Review Service

With that said, if you want to get your resumes reviewed by professionals, simply upload it on our Online Resume Builder and get insights from professionals on what changes you can make in your resume to make it shortlist-worthy.

Our experts will review your resume in compliance with the following parameters:

• Content Relevance
• Recruiter Friendliness
• Design Compatibility
• Conversion Scope
• ATS Compliance
• Global Compatibility
• Performance Assessment
• Resume Formatting
• Compliance with industry norms

Make the best use of our Resume Review Service today!

Go to Hiration career platform which has 24/7 chat support and get professional assistance with all your job & career-related queries.

You can also write to us at [email protected] and we will make sure to reach out to you as soon as possible.

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You’ll Laugh Yourself Silly With These Resume Funnies

• Post author By ben
• Post date February 10, 2020

All you have to do is search “funny resumes” or “resume bloopers,” and you will be inundated with funny anecdotes from various companies who have collected some hilarious resumes.

These resumes definitely make for some fun water-cooler humor, but it won’t land you a job. In fact, mistakes will repel would-be employers.

Be careful when you’re typing your resume or submitting an online job application. Check, double-check and then recheck your spelling and word choices, and then have someone else check it too!

Funnies From Resumes

Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).

Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians.”

“2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people.”

Hobbies: “drugs and girls”.

Achievements: “Nominated for prom queen.”

One resume said that the individual had won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.

One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border.

“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”

“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”

“Marital status: often. Children:  various.”

Interests: “gossiping.”

Languages: “Speak English and Spinach.”

Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!'”

Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”

Application: Why should an employer hire you? “I bring doughnuts on Friday.”

Experience: “Child care provider: Organized activities; prepared lunches and snakes.”

Personal: “I am loyal and know when to keep my big mouth shut.”

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• Tags hiring tips , online job applications , resumes

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20 Hilarious Resumes That Didn’t Get The Job But Got The Laugh

Hiring managers are sharing the funniest, weirdest, and strangest resumes to ever come across their desk. From putting their pets as references to using their CV as a means to tell their life story, here are a selection of funny stories and resumes that were passed over, but fondly remembered. 

Posted by Redditor u/ mandabeth5 :

I was a supervisor in a casino, and was once assisting my table games manager in weeding out potential applicants vs. "hell no" applicants. These all appeared on the same application:

Education: School of Hard Knocks.

Job Experience: Life, Hustling, Learnin' the Hard Way

References: Jesus Christ

Paste Problems

Posted by Redditor u/ stars_are_silent :

I had a guy who sent in a resume where he had accidentally pasted an internet banner ad for p*rn to the top of it. 

Impressive References

Posted by Redditor u/ Raguel0417 :

I received a resume several years back that barely had any information on it (I think it was just his school, some freelance modeling gig, and some references).

He said that his resume was bare since he only placed information that was relevant for the role he was applying for (it was a sales role) and he was afraid that his identity might get stolen.

His references were also weird. I remember Princess Diana and Mother Theresa was on his list of reference. They were both already dead at the time of his interview.

My Little Resume

So Much Fail

Posted by Redditor u/ Aibeit :

I've gotten a handwritten, ineligible resumé before. Also someone that insisted in their cover letter that they were only willing to work on Tuesdays - for a full-time position.

I've seen one that had a note saying "You didn't honestly think I was going to show you this?" instead of the high school report card, and one that claimed to have mastered Microsoft Excel to the "Asian Level".

Oh, and a colleague of mine once opened one of those *.pdf.exe resumés that turned out to be ransomware.

Legally Wrong

Posted by Redditor u/ linguotgr :

I’m not sure if it’s the worst, but it was the most entertainingly bad. Ya know in Legally Blonde where Reese Witherspoon gives out her resume and its on pink, scented paper?

I got one like that that about three years ago, which, looking it up on Google just now to confirm, made this reference 15 years out of date (though if it was scented, I missed it). The resume started off, literally her first paragraph, talking about how Legally Blonde was her favorite movie. It was full of doodles in the margins and specifically requested I not contact her previous employers because she felt she was fired unfairly, and instead listed several sorority sisters as references.

She compared herself to Elle Woods several times, explicitly saying any hiring manager who wouldn’t hire her off of this resume was doing so because their couldn’t handle her individuality. I’m honestly not entirely sure if this was a legit resume or some kind of joke. It had almost nothing to do with the job listing.

My manager joked that Buzzfeed was gonna write about me if I didn’t call.

The job went unfilled. We chose literally no one over this.

'Cat-Like Reflexes...Possible ESP...Holla!'

Straight To The Point

Posted by Redditor u/ izyozy :

Font size 30pt, comic sans, and just described her appearance. "I am looking for a job."

Posted by Redditor u/ WayTooFurry :

I had a guy hand me a resume with his dad, mom, and brother as his references. I decide to call them... two hadn't spoken to him in a year and the other said not to put him as a reference.

He did not get hired.  

Posted by Redditor u/ nightcrawler616 :

My boss once received a file from a lady that was supposed to be her resume, but was actually a bunch of notes about Rollercoaster Tycoon.

Historical Angle

Posted by Redditor u/ soomuchcoffee :

My boss once received a resume written from the perspective of someone witnessing the storming of the Bastille. The torches, explosions off in the distance, the yelling and screaming, proficiency in Word and Excel...

It was for an assistant level office job.

My boss passed on it.

Posted by Redditor u/ Lazycat0204 :

We were hiring for a position in IT recently. One applicant was this lady, around 60. Used to work in IT in the '90s, then quit to watch her daughters children. Most recent job was cashiering in a supermarket.

From her CV I learned that when she was 17, she visited the U.S. for a couple of weeks on a student exchange program, where she met "David." They fell in love.

Afterwards they kept in contact, until he eventually came to our country and they got married. They had an exciting life, being roadies for rock bands and such.

Somewhere along the line they managed to finish Uni and had two daughters. David was the love of her life.

Then something happened (unfortunately she didn’t elaborate), and David isn’t in her life anymore. I never found out whether he died or they got divorced or something. She devoted all her energy to her daughters and their offspring, since that was all she had left of David. Now after the grandchildren are old enough, she wants to work in IT again.

Davids name appeared in the application (CV and cover letter) a whopping 17 times. Sometimes I wonder what happened to him.

'Time To Try Something New'

Posted by Redditor u/ watching-the-office :

My company does business with a certain family-friendly theme park. This means our employees can’t have visible tattoos, crazy hair colors, they need to be able to pass a drug screening, background check, etc.

I received a resume for a sales position from a guy we will call Andrew. I just pulled it back up so I can quote it word for word. The cover letter said:

”Hey what’s good? I have worked at almost every fast food place around but now it’s time to try something new. I don’t know how to do retail but I’ll learn. I don’t have official sales experience of the legal kind of you know what I mean, but that was a few weeks ago and I’m not like that no more”

On his resume he listed the places he worked at and had descriptions such as, ”take peoples orders and clean up their messes” and ”take peoples orders money and give them their s**t."

I thought the resume was submitted as a joke until I looked Andrew up on Facebook (he had an uncommon last name) and found his profile.

'Meow?'

Posted by Redditor u/ Dobbeo :

The candidate listed their cat as a reference.

'Accuracty'

Reference: Wild Bear

'Underwater Ceramics Cleaner'

Posted by Redditor u/ suicidalsilkworm :

Underwater ceramics and glass cleaner for a multi-million dollar company meant dishwasher at Chili’s.

'Can't Sugarcoat That One'

Work sucks. What can you do?

😁 Funniest Resume Skills Actually Seen On Real Resumes

• Post author: Jacob Share
• Post published: January 23, 2020
• Post comments: 5 Comments

Most job seekers mean well when it comes to listing skills on their resumes. All too often it's recruiters and us other readers who get the most benefit.

Everyone's seen those hilarious resume blunders coming from a single letter being out of place, typos that lead to “great pubic speaker”, “party-time assistant”, etc.

This list isn't about those.

This list is for the resume skills that job seekers are proud of enough to put on their resumes, and funny enough to leave you shaking your head or laughing out loud.

You be the judge. Enjoy!

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Funny resume skills you're glad other people have

• 9/10 correct predictions for the Academy awards in 2010, 11/11 accurate predictions in 2011 and 12/13 correct in 2012
• MS Office (only)
• Can solve a Rubik's Cube in under a minute
• Can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds
• Special quality: can impress any girl with in 5 minutes
• One applicant listed what their favorite sections of the local paper are. The sections weren't relevant to the job, and the paper's really not very good.
• Adept in the fine art of pretzel folding
• Cleaning up the dead bodies (from someone who had worked at an assisted living center for senior citizens)
• Can recite Pi up to 500 digits
• Skipped 111 times in a minute to consolidate the 2nd position in the Limca Book of Records
• Always uses just the right amount of salt, no matter the shaker
• Cocking pastas
• Playing card games
• Hangging with my friends and family
• Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer
• Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes
• Can charm anyone, even a pigeon
• Solving puzzles
• Exceptional poker player
• Participated in Fusion dance number
• Best Smile Award in Grade 8
• Ghost in high school horror house

Via Reddit:

• I work well with piers (guy was an exhibit builder)
• Proficient at Facebook, Twitter, and email
• Agility training with my dog
• Can cook minute rice in 58 seconds
• Able to say the ABCs backwards in under 5 seconds
• I'm a big dude so I can handle myself in a fight
• Experienced drinker & partier, so I'm comfortable working in environments with drunk people
• Can hold five baseballs in one hand (“When the staff was all drunk one day someone called him and told the poor guy that if he could handle six balls in one hand, the job was his”)

From 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever :

• Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
• Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail
• Can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet
• I can type without looking at thekeyboard
• I am a Notary Republic
• I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home
• I have technical skills that will take your breath away
• Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years
• I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings
• Being bilingual in 3 languages

From 150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever :

• Gator hunting
• Calculator on sight
• Can make perfect velociraptor call
• Riding a bicycle
• In a computer skills section: Tiger Woods Golf
• Skills: “Yeah I got ’em”
• Main skills: creativity, bravery, arrogance, cleverness and honesty
• Walking – I am very good at this

Funny resume skills from other sources:

• I rarely get sick
• Advanced Yo-Yo
• So many spreadsheets
• Understood (the movie) Interstellar
• Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details
• Quick at typing, about 30 words per minute, 45 with strong coffee
• Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep
• Extensive experience with foreign accents

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Question of the article

Which of the funny resume skills above made you laugh hardest? What's the funniest thing you've seen on a resume (yours or someone else's)? Tell us in the comments .

What others are saying

• 7 of the Most Outrageous (and Clever) Lines Applicants Have Included in Their Resumes
• What are the strangest/funniest resume bullets or qualifications you have seen?
• No skills, looking for a job: Teen's funny resume
• This successful SA exec got his big break with a funny CV – here's how you can make yours stand out
• Humor can help your resume stand out — a recruiter explains the right way to use it

Bonus: Phoebe and Joey talk about his funny resume skills

READ NEXT: 21 Funny Resume Stories

Subscribe to JobMob via email and follow me on Twitter for more funny resume wackiness that's hard to believe.

Jacob Share

This post has 5 comments.

Pingback: Credibility in Leadership | The Big Game Hunter

Skipped 111 times in a minute to consolidate the 2nd position in the Limca Book of Records This must be surely from India. Limca is a soft drink brand of lemon flavor. (now owned by Coca-Cola / for more info. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limca )

The Swiss army knife was also good.

Thanks for sharing, Turab. Had no idea bout Limca

A skill listed is “Adept in the fine art of pretzel folding” which is a skill I’ve seen in action.

A couple of times a year my wife and I visit Yoder’s (formerly Keim’s) in Seaman, Ohio. They have absolutely the best pretzels I have ever tasted (and big), and to get them literally right out of the oven is pure bliss.

The last time we were there it was a treat just to watch the two Amish ladies cutting, twirling, and folding the pretzel dough prior to baking, and, it is truly a skill.

If you want to see the pretzels, watch this video, and pay special attention at 1:08 … youtube.com/watch?v=dRDSMrdLvrE

You weren’t kidding. Biggest pretzels and donuts I’ve ever seen. Nice!

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15 Hilarious Things People Have Put on Their Resume

Here at TheJobNetwork, we have scoured every nook and cranny of the internet and have compiled a list of epic proportions. Here are the top 15 most hilarious things people have put on their resume.

Most people take their resumes seriously, but not these guys. First thing first, if you are serious about making a great resume, make sure to download our resume samples for your specific job title .

1. “None of my references really like me, so please don’t believe what they say.”

2. “I came up with the idea for Windows.”

3. “I’ll introduce you to my wife if you hire me.”

4. “I am proficient in Internet Explorer, Firefox, and all related search engines.”

5.  “I’m a level 90 Shamanistic natural healer.”

6.  “I quit being a porn actor and took a job at a gas station. They fired me because of ‘job performance issues.’ Right before the tank was full I’d pull the nozzle out and spray gas all over the car’s headlights.”

7.  Werk Xperince: “i werked at da keyfuuud az da best bhag boiii”

8.  Leadership Skills: “World of Warcraft Guild Leader

9. “Have you ever been convicted of a felony? If yes, please explain.” Answer: “Yes. Arson. He deserved it. Will discuss in interview.”

10. “List your most notable accomplishments.” Answer: “I learned how to store crumbs in the flaps of my fat for safe-keeping.”

11. Skills: “I’m a BOSS at working.”

12. Talents: “I am adored by my entire village. All of the villagers want me to marry their daughters.”

13. Special skills: “I have destroyed the president of Nicaragua in tennis.”

14. Languages: “I can speak Klingon.”

15.  “This isn’t my real contact information. I need to conceal my identity because I am being followed. If you need to contact me, flip a coin into the sunlight and look north. I will be there.”

If you don’t want to end up looking like anyone above, make sure to go over to our resume library to download a resume template for your desired job title.

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About the author.

Randy Stancovici

Randy graduated Baruch College with his BBA in Marketing in 2016. He is the Content Strategist for PandoLogic, where he is involved in content marketing, promotion, and SEO.

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How to Add Humor to Your Résumé or CV

You might be one of many people in the market for a new job at the moment. If you're in this position, your first inclination might be to turn to your résumé or CV and start updating it. And depending on the last time you had to do that, that might be a rather large undertaking! So how can you make your résumé or CV stand out above the rest?

Adding humor to your résumé or CV might not be the first thing that comes to mind. In fact, it might be the last! But with some well-placed humor, that might just be the thing to stand out in a great way to a prospective employer.

Let's discuss a few ways to achieve this!

Know your audience

This one is listed first for a reason. Before you go adding levity to your employment documents to make them sound like your dream stand-up routine, consider the job you're applying for and the industry. Jobs in a more creative industry, like marketing or publishing, might be much more interested in seeing different aspects of your personality rather than, say, a banking institution or a science laboratory.

Non-creative industries tend to be much more interested in your personal skill set and your professional credentials in the early application stages. That's not to say they don't care about you as a person, but in a field where a certain level of education is required or plenty of past experience in a particular, specific industry, they want to weed out the unqualified from the qualified as quickly as possible as early as possible.

A creative industry, on the other hand, might be very interested in how you jump off the page. If the job is focused on marketing or has a heavy emphasis on writing, your personality and humor may very well help a prospective employer get a feel for the creative ways you communicate about yourself and your experience as a way of how well you may perform in the job they're considering you for.

Take care with the content

Since sending a résumé or CV is, obviously, a professional endeavor where you're hoping to get hired, you'll want to be extremely strategic with where and how you use humor. The cover letter is likely the most logical place since often, you're invited by the employer to use the letter to expand on your immediate credentials, education, and skills that make you an ideal candidate for that job. It's specific to the employer as to how much stock they place in the cover letter. Some treat the letter as a mere formality and prefer to focus on the résumé /CV. Some detail very specific items to address in the cover letter—often to ensure the applicant is paying close attention to the details in the posting.

You won't know for sure how much stock the prospective employer places in the cover letter, so you should default to writing it erring on the side of the employer reading it thoroughly. Sprinkle humor in lightly where it feels appropriate, and rather than focusing on jokes, you might focus on wit. For example, a phrase might be "I'm a hard worker, a fast learner, and I have a disturbing thirst for knowledge." This is witty rather than humorous, but it might be light enough to elicit a smile—and, even better, second look—from a prospective employer.

Tailor the humor to the employer

If you're feeling confident that you're applying for a job with an employer who will appreciate a little humor and creativity, then try to be funny in a way that is complementary to the employer. For instance, if you're applying for a marketing job with, say, a cosmetics company, you might enthusiastically write that you own every shade of a certain kind of lipstick they make. Or, if you're applying for a job as a story developer for a video game manufacturer, you might write a humorous line about binge-playing one of their titles over a long holiday weekend. This, when done carefully, can show the employer that you not only are familiar with their product or service, but that you enjoy it, and that enjoyment is driving you to want to work for them. And, it may encourage them to view you as an excellent prospective candidate.

Avoid self-deprecation

We all know a person who cracks truly funny self-deprecating jokes. In fact, someone who makes jokes at their own expense rather than another's can often be some of the most charming people you'll meet. Those little personal jabs at oneself simultaneously highlight a person's humility and sense of being grounded, while also at the same time displaying some serious self-confidence. It takes a lot of that to be able to poke fun at yourself!

That said…the résumé /CV is not the best place for self-deprecation. The problem is that convincing self-deprecation requires a tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language to really hit the mark with its intention, and none of these physical attributes are available on the page. Therefore, what you might intend to come off as self-deprecating might strike a stranger reading it with no context and never having met you as awkward, lacking self-confidence, or downright weird.

When in doubt, be serious

Humor in varying degrees might come naturally to you, whether you're speaking or writing. And you might also be someone who can easily adjust that humor for different audiences. But when you're applying for a job and you've written someone witty or humorous and you're simply not sure whether or not to include it, or whether or not it's appropriate, it's always best to err on the side of caution and leave it out for now. Choose to focus on what qualifies you for the job and what you can bring to the role. Your sparkling wit will need to take a backseat for now if you're not 100% sure, but that's okay. That's what the interview is for!

A/B testing

You might be sending out a number of résumé s and CVs at this time. If that's the case, you can try using humor in some and not others. Then, you can gauge your tactic and technique depending on the responses you get. If you receive more responses to your résumé /CV indicating an interest in you as a candidate, this might tell you that your humor was on the mark and a great tool to capture the prospective employer's attention. On the other hand, if you receive polite rejections or no responses whatsoever, that might tell you that perhaps your résumé /CV should focus more on your skills and qualifications and include less levity.

Save it for the interview

If you decide to eschew humor in your résumé and CV because it just doesn't feel quite appropriate for the job you're applying for, or perhaps your A/B testing indicated that humor isn't garnering you a lot of positive replies to your applications, you can put your efforts into highlighting your skills and qualifications in order to shine on paper and use the interview as a way to shine in person. We mentioned previously that humor—especially if self-deprecation is your go-to—requires not just words but also physical cues like tone of voice and body language to hit its mark. The interview is a great place to let your personality and sense of humor shine through always save your wit for the interview, which will allow the company to get the full delivery in context—something that's not always possible on paper.

Humor is a great way to showcase your personality to a prospective employer. No matter the industry, it's probably fair to say that most employers don't want a robot to fill a role. They're looking for a warm, personable team player who also has the qualifications they're looking for. That said, while it might be tempting to inject humor into your résumé or CV, that requires some careful consideration before doing so. More often than not, shying away from humor is encouraged, as it's a risky move. However, some well-constructed wit and humor might prove to be worth the risk—because it just might be the thing that makes you stand out above the crowd of candidates and help you score the next job of your dreams.

Good luck, and happy job hunting!

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Soft Skills Subject: Pay Increases & Career Advancement

Pay raises are on the rise – Here’s how to ask for one

Time to take a break from your job search efforts and check out the  150 funniest resume mistakes .  If you thought you were having a hard time with finding a job, imagine these people.  This read will cheer you up.  Here are 13 favorites from the article:

• Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
• “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
• Candidate stated the ability to persuade people sexually using her words.
• “Skills: Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail”
• Woman who sent her résumé and cover letter without deleting someone else’s editing, including such comments as “I don’t think you want to say this about yourself here”
• “Planned new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.”
• “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”
• “Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
• Objective: “I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.”
• Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.”
• Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.”
• Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.”
• Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

Enjoy this much needed break and good luck out there!

Soft Skills: Job Search Articles

Case interviews and how to ace them, career development: job search vs. career search, 13 funniest resume bloopers, what to do if job search is taking forever, your job search checklist, the perfect job search candidate, 4 radical ways to find a job, share this content:.

Supreme Court immunity case: Updates of oral arguments in Trump's fight for immunity

Lawyers for the former president argue trump can't be criminally charged for any action he took in office..

• Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith has charged Trump with conspiring to overturn his 2020 loss to Joe Biden.
• Trump is currently on trial in New York, charged with covering up hush money payments made to to porn star Stormy Daniels before the 2016 election.
• Trump is the first former president to face criminal trial.

Can presidents get away with murder?

Nine Supreme Court justices heard Donald Trump’s arguments today that yes, maybe they can. 

The former president's lawyers say all presidents are immune from prosecution for anything they do in office – even murder, bribery, and corruption . The only way to hold one criminally accountable, Trump's attorneys will argue today, is if a president is first impeached in the House of Representatives and then convicted by two-thirds of the Senate. 

Here are USA TODAY's live updates from Trump’s remarkable stand at the Supreme Court .

The case is submitted

The historic arguments wrapped up after more than two-and-a-half hours of debate with Trump’s attorney, John Sauer, forgoing his opportunity for a final rebuttal after the Justice Department made its case.

Prep for the polls: See who is running for president and compare where they stand on key issues in our Voter Guide

“I have nothing further,” Sauer said.

And with that, Chief Justice John Roberts declared that the case is submitted.

--Maureen Groppe

Jackson pushes for quick, narrow decision

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson appeared to be trying to convince her colleagues to decide the case quickly and narrowly.

If the court wanted to use the case to decide all the possible times when a president does or doesn’t have immunity, she asked the Justice Department, “is this the right vehicle to hammer out that test?”

“I don’t see any need in this case for the court to embark on that analysis,” Justice Department Michael Dreeben responded.

Barrett looks for way for Trump trial to proceed

Justice Amy Coney Barrett asks the Justice Department whether the government can get to trial faster by prosecuting only on the Trump acts that his lawyer agrees are private conduct so are not immune.

Michael Dreeben, the Justice Department attorney, said Trump’s official and private acts are part of an “integrated conspiracy.”

But he added that a trial could proceed by allowing the government to introduce anything considered an official act as information that has relevance even if not a crime itself.

Does presidential motive matter?

Justice Neil Gorsuch pressed the Justice Department on whether the court should consider the motive of a president when deciding whether a presidential act deserves immunity. Everything a president does can be seen through the prism of his interest in getting re-elected, he said.

Michael Dreeben, the Justice Department’s attorney, said motive doesn’t have to be considered for a core presidential act – such as a veto, or appointment – which is protected from prosecution.

“None is involved in this case,” Dreeben said.

Gorsuch said he’s not asking so much about Trump’s case but whether accusations about a president’s motives can be a future basis for prosecution.

“We’re writing a rule for the ages,” Gorsuch said.

Dreeben said wanting to get re-elected is not an illegal motive.

“And you don’t have to worry about prosecuting presidents for that,” he said.

Ham sandwiches, grand juries and solar eclipses: Alito has questions

Justice Samuel Alito asked Justice Department attorney Michael Dreeben if a former president should be left to the mercy of prosecutors, noting the old saying on the pliability of grand juries: That grand jurors would indict a ham sandwich if a prosecutor asked them to.

Alito asked Dreeben if he knew of a single case in which a federal prosecutor had asked a grand jury to indict a suspect “and the grand jury refused to do so.” 

Drebeen said it had happened. 

“Every once in  a while there’s an eclipse too,” Alito replied. No prosecutor wants to indict without sufficient evidence, Drebeen said, because the case would end in an acquittal. 

--Dan Morrison

More: What does 'SCOTUS' mean? Here's a brief rundown on the country's highest court.

Trump back in New York courtroom

As attorneys at the Supreme Court argued over a president’s ability to escape prosecution for official acts, Donald Trump returned to the Manhattan courtroom where he is on trial on charges he doctored business records to cover up a $130,000 hush money payment to adult film star Stormy Daniels. Trump entered the courtroom at 11:22 a.m. ET, taking a look at reporters in the audience as he walked past them to the defense table.

– Aysha Bagchi

Trump named unindicted co-conspirator in Arizona election case

Former President Donald Trump was named an unindicted co-conspirator in the Arizona fake elector case unsealed yesterday. The indictment charges 18 state Republicans and former Trump aides including former White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani and attorney John Eastman.

The defendants are charged with crimes including conspiracy and forgery for falsely claiming they were presidential electors and that Trump won the state in the 2020 election. Trump was identified as “unindicted coconspirator 1" in the indictment.

--Bart Jansen

All That Jazz: Demonstrators drum, clang, and sing their views of Trump

As justices and lawyers solemnly discussed the finer points of law inside the Supreme Court, the scene outside featured the clang of bells, the shrill of whistles, the throb of electric music, and the chants of demonstrators - most of them anti-Trump.

“The whole world is watching!” a crowd of demonstrators chanted at one point. A small brass band serenaded the crowd of three-to-four dozen with jazz-like tunes.

In addition to attacking Trump, the crowd also weighed in on other issues, particularly abortion rights and the campaign between Trump and President Joe Biden. “Feminists vs. Fascists,” said one sign.

The two sides exchanged a few f-bombs, but nothing serious broke out and the dozen or so police officers who watched the proceedings had little to do.

-- David Jackson

Roberts asks what protects against political prosecutions

Chief Justice John Roberts pressed on whether there are enough protections against retaliatory or harassing prosecutions for presidents.

Dreeben, the Justice Department’s lawyer, said politically driven prosecutions would violate the Constitution.

The chilling effect of prosecutions is one of Trump’s main arguments for why presidents should have immunity.

Who are the conservative Supreme Court justices?  

There are six conservative-leaning justices, making up the majority of the Supreme Court bench : Chief Justice John Roberts, along with Justices Samuel Alito, Brett Kavanaugh, Neil Gorsuch, Amy Coney Barrett and Clarence Thomas. 

Thomas is the longest serving of the group, nominated by former President George H. W. Bush in 1991. Former President George W. Bush nominated Roberts and Alito in 2005, while former President Donald Trump nominated Kavanaugh, Gorsuch and Barrett. 

– Savannah Kuchar  

More: Who are the current Supreme Court justices? Get to know the bench in 2024.

Thomas raises the 1961 Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba 

Apparently picking up on Justice Elena Kagan’s earlier questions touching on a military coup in the U.S., Justice Clarence Thomas asked why past presidents haven’t faced criminal charges for fomenting coups in foreign countries, using Operation Mongoose, the failed 1961 CIA attempt to overthrow Fidel Castro in Cuba, as an example.

“There were no prosecutions” after the so-called Bay of Pigs affair, Thomas said. (President John F. Kennedy, who ordered the operation, was assassinated before the end of his first term.)

Michael Dreeben, arguing for the Justice Department, replied that U.S. law has a “public authority defense” that protects a president from prosecution for overseas acts. The defense “would prevent it from being a violation of law.” 

–Dan Morrison

Who are the liberal Supreme Court justices?  

There are three liberal-leaning justices on the Supreme Court bench: Justices Sonya Sotomayor, Ketanji Brown Jackson and Elena Kagan. 

Sotomayor and Kagan were nominees of former President Barack Obama, while Jackson was nominated by President Joe Biden in 2022, becoming the first Black woman to serve as a justice on the Supreme Court. 

J ustice Department: `Such presidential immunity has no foundation in the Constitution’

Opening his argument for the Justice Department, Michael Dreeben said the Supreme Court has never recognized absolute criminal immunity for any public official.

But Trump, Dreeben said, is asking that presidents be protected from prosecution for bribery, treason, sedition, murder and for conspiring to use fraud to overturn an election.

“Such presidential immunity has no foundation in the Constitution,” Dreeben said. “The framers knew too well the danger of a king who could do no wrong.”

Immunity for official acts versus private

Although Trump’s lawyer concedes that presidents can be prosecuted for private acts, Justice Ketanji  Brown Jackson pressed why that should be different for official acts.

“If there’s no threat to criminal prosecution, what prevents the president from doing whatever he wants?” she asked.

Sauer said the president is required to follow the law for his official acts. But the question is whether the punishment for not doing so is impeachment or criminal prosecution.

 Jackson asked how Trump's argument didn't "risk turning the oval office into the center of criminality in this country." 

--Maureen Groppe and Dan Morrison

How to watch today’s Supreme Court case live  

Cameras are not allowed inside the nation’s highest court, so there is no televised coverage of today’s oral arguments. 

But the justices and lawyers can be listened to live on USA TODAY’s broadcast or via C-SPAN. 

Coup could be an official act, Trump lawyer says

Trump lawyer D. John Sauer, speaking in a notable rasp, found himself cornered by Justice Elena Kagan as she pushed him to draw a line between a president’s official and unofficial acts.

Kagan asked Sauer whether a president could officially order the military to stage a coup at the end of their term. “Is it an official act?”

“It could well be,” Sauer replied. 

“It certainly sounds very bad,” Kagan said. 

Sauer said the Constitution and the military’s code of justice prevents “that very extreme hypothetical.”

Can presidents self pardon?

Justice Neil Gorsuch raised the issue of whether presidents can pardon themselves.

“Happily,” Gorsuch said of that issue, “it’s never been presented to us.”

Sauer, Trump’s lawyers, said if the court agrees with him that presidents have absolute immunity, they will never have to decide if presidents can self pardon.

Should trial be further delayed for fact finding?

The Justice Department has urged the court not to delay the trial further even if the justices find presidents have immunity in some  circumstances.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor appeared to side with that position, pressing Trump’s lawyer on why fact-finding questions about immunity in Trump’s particular case can’t be done at trial.

Sauer said it would be difficult to do that.

Sotomayor asks about fake electors

Justice Sonia Sotomayor asked Trump’s lawyer why he can claim that Trump’s actions were part of his official duties instead of being done for personal gain. Trump, she said, created a fraudulent list of presidential electors.

“Is that plausible that that would be within his right to do?” she asked.

Sauer, Trump’s lawyer, disputed Sotomayor’s characterization that Trump was doing anything fraudulent with the electors he was pushing.

“This was being done on an alternative basis,” Sauer said.

-- Maureen Groppe

Justice Alito stands up for Navy SEALs

Amid a blizzard of hypothetical questions over whether a president can order Navy SEALs to assassinate a rival, Justice Samuel Alito took a moment to stand up for the armed forces. 

 “I don’t want to slander SEAL Team Six,” Alito said. “They are honorable officers, bound by the military code of justice not to obey an illegal order.”

Sotomayor: 'Fundamentally evil' acts must be prosecuted

Challenging former President Donald Trump’s argument that a president is entitled to complete immunity, Justice Sonia Sotomayor said, “there are some things that are so fundamentally evil that they have to be protected against.”

“Immunity says even if you did it for personal gain,” Sotomayor told attorney D. John Sauer, president’s actions, including murder and bribery, ”cannot be prosecuted.”

-- Dan Morrison

Sotomayor brings up assassination of political rival

Justice Sonia Sotomayor goes right to a key issue that came up during the appeals court review: does a president have immunity if he orders the assassination of a political rival?

Sauer, Trump’s lawyer, said that depends on the situation, but it could well be an official act for which a president is immune.

Sotomayor said Trump wants the court to find that presidents are entitled to use the trappings of their office for total personal gain without facing criminal liability.

Kangaroo masks and revolutionary war hats

More than two dozen demonstrators organized by the group Women’s March protested Trump’s immunity claim, and criticized the Supreme Court for even considering the matter.

“We’re here to demand that they wrap this up,” said Amanda Chavez Barnes, senior program director for Women’s March, protesting that the court’s decision to take up the case delayed Trump’s trial on Jan. 6-related charges.

Some of the protesters wore kangaroo masks in order to mock the “Kangaroo Court.” They rang cowbells, banged on small drums, and chanted slogans like “lock him up!”

Just a few Trump supporters counter-demonstrated. Matthew Atwood, 62, a local DJ and classical pianist, mounted a sign describing other people as “the real authoritarians.” Wearing a Revolutionary War-style uniform, Atwood described himself as “pro-American.”

He also sought to engage the anti-Trump faction in debate, asking members of three crowd at one point, “are you better off now than you were three years ago?”

“Yes we are,” replied a Trump opponent.

Trump lawyer: Without immunity, `there can be no presidency as we know it.’

In his opening argument, Trump lawyer John Sauer told the justices presidents should be immune from prosecution because otherwise “there can be no presidency as we know it.”

No president has ever been prosecuted for their official acts, he said.

Without immunity, he continued, the threat of prosecution will “distort the president’s decision making.”

Every president will face defacto blackmail and distortion from his political rivals while he’s still in office, Sauer said.

Could Supreme Court presidential immunity arguments impact Trump's New York case?

Early this month, New York trial Judge Juan Merchan rejected an argument from Trump to delay Trump's New York criminal trial until after the Supreme Court rules on the scope of presidential immunity in Trump's federal election interference case. Merchan said Trump raised the immunity defense in his New York case too late.

If Trump is found guilty in the New York criminal trial, he could challenge Merchan's immunity ruling on appeal, and potentially point to a Supreme Court immunity ruling as a basis for re-trying the New York case.

Where is Donald Trump today?

Trump held a campaign event en route to the courthouse in New York, stopping at a nearby construction site to speak with supportive union members .

Reporters asked the former president about the Supreme Court’s immunity hearing, but his comments were drowned out by the cheers of his audience.

What are the charges against Trump?

Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith indicted Trump last August on four charges, to which he’s  pleaded not guilty.

Trump is charged with conspiring to try to steal the 2020 election and remain in power by spreading lies about election fraud that fueled the Capitol attack on Jan. 6, 2021. Trump is also charged with obstructing Congress because the riot interrupted lawmakers counting Electoral College votes to certify that President Joe Biden won the election.

Protesting 'fake news' and tyranny

Outside the Supreme Court, protestors who traveled from Minnesota, Florida, and other states to register their support and concern about the historic Trump case.“Absolute Immunity = Absolute Tyranny,” reads the sign carried by Demitri Morgan, 38, who said he traveled from his home in Montana for the high court hearing.

Another hand-painted sign says “Loser.”

“Yo, fake news! What’s up with fake news?,” chanted Jim Whalen, 61, an ad salesman who said he came up from his home in West Palm Beach, Fla.-- David Jackson

Trump immunity argument ‘ridiculous’: Schumer

Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., called former President Donald Trump’s immunity argument “ridiculous” and said the Supreme Court shouldn’t have agreed to hear the case.

“Today, SCOTUS hears Trump’s ridiculous claim of total immunity. He's obviously not immune,” Schumer wrote on X , formerly Twitter. “SCOTUS is only protecting Trump and slowing his trial. SCOTUS should not have taken this case or frozen the district court.”

What is presidential immunity?

The Supreme Court ruled in 1982 that presidents are immune both while in office and after from civil damages for official acts, including those on the “outer perimeter of a president’s official responsibilities.”

In 1997, the court said presidents can be sued for their private acts.

The court has also said presidents have no broad immunity from complying with subpoenas in criminal cases brought by states or the federal government.

The Justice Department has long argued that presidents can’t be criminally prosecuted while in office.

But the court has never weighed in on whether former presidents are immune from criminal prosecution.

What is Donald Trump trying to do with his Supreme Court immunity argument?

Donald Trump is trying to quash federal charges that he conspired to overturn the 2020 election after his bitter loss to President Joe Biden .

Without sweeping immunity, a president “will always be concerned, and even paralyzed, by the prospect of wrongful prosecution and retaliation after they leave office,” Trump wrote on Truth Social Sunday.

Is Donald Trump at the Supreme Court today?

The presumptive Republican nominee won’t be at the Supreme Court for today’s blockbuster arguments.

Trump is on trial in New York , charged with doctoring records to hide $130,000 in hush money paid to an adult film star . Trump also faces two other criminal indictments.

The judge in his New York trial told him he was required to be in court , which meant he was not able to attend his historic hearing.

Significance of being the first president to face criminal charges

What should the justices make of the fact that Donald Trump is the first president – former or current – to face criminal charges?

Trump’s lawyers say it’s evidence that presidents can’t be prosecuted.

“The long history of not prosecuting Presidents for official acts, despite ample motive and opportunity to do so over the years, demonstrates that the newly discovered alleged power to do so does not exist,” they wrote in their main brief previewing their oral argument.

Special counsel Jack Smith counters that the fact that no previous president has been prosecuted underscores the unprecedented nature of Trump’s alleged crimes.

Recent ruling: Supreme Court snubbed House Republicans who dodged metal detectors after Jan. 6