misunderstanding with friends essay

Essay on Misunderstanding Between You and Your Friend

Students are often asked to write an essay on Misunderstanding Between You and Your Friend in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Misunderstanding Between You and Your Friend

Introduction.

Misunderstandings can occur between friends, causing distress and confusion. This essay explores a personal experience of misunderstanding with a friend.

The Incident

My best friend and I had a misunderstanding. She thought I had shared her secret with others, which I had not.

This misunderstanding caused a rift in our friendship. We stopped talking to each other for a while, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.

Eventually, we discussed the issue. I explained my side and she understood. Our friendship was restored, stronger than before.

Misunderstandings can strain friendships, but open communication can help resolve them.

250 Words Essay on Misunderstanding Between You and Your Friend

The genesis of misunderstanding.

Misunderstandings are an inevitable part of human relationships, often resulting from differences in communication styles, perceptions, and expectations. When it comes to friendships, misunderstandings can create a rift, impacting the bond shared.

Communication Breakdown

A primary cause of misunderstandings is a breakdown in communication. Often, we assume our friends understand our thoughts and feelings without explicit articulation. This presumption can lead to misinterpretation, causing misunderstandings. For example, a friend may interpret your silence as indifference when you’re merely preoccupied with personal issues.

Perceptual Differences

Another factor is perceptual differences. Each individual perceives situations through their unique lens, shaped by their experiences and beliefs. Thus, a single situation can be interpreted differently by two friends, leading to conflicts. For instance, one might view a joke as harmless fun, while the other perceives it as offensive.

Unfulfilled Expectations

Friendships often involve unstated expectations. When these are unmet, it can lead to misunderstandings. For instance, if you expect your friend to support you in a disagreement and they choose to remain neutral, you might feel betrayed.

Resolving Misunderstandings

To resolve misunderstandings, open and honest communication is key. Discussing the issue, acknowledging each other’s feelings, and empathizing can help mend the relationship. Moreover, setting clear expectations and understanding each other’s perceptions can prevent future misunderstandings.

In conclusion, while misunderstandings in friendships are common, they can be resolved and even prevented through effective communication, empathy, and understanding.

500 Words Essay on Misunderstanding Between You and Your Friend

Misunderstandings are an inevitable part of human interaction. Regardless of the depth of a relationship, there are instances where communication breaks down, leading to confusion and discord. This essay explores a personal experience of misunderstanding between myself and a close friend.

The Birth of the Misunderstanding

The incident occurred during our final year of college. My friend, whom I’ll refer to as Alex, and I were partners for a significant project. We had divided the responsibilities equally. However, due to unforeseen circumstances, I was unable to meet my commitment for a week. I had informed Alex about this in advance, but perhaps I hadn’t communicated the gravity of the situation effectively.

The Escalation

When I returned, I found Alex overwhelmed with the accumulated workload. He was upset that I had left him to fend for himself during a crucial time. I felt guilty for my absence but also a sense of injustice, as I had informed him beforehand. This misunderstanding led to a rift between us. We were no longer just project partners dealing with academic stress; we were close friends navigating through a maze of hurt feelings and miscommunication.

Understanding the Misunderstanding

Reflecting on the situation, I realized that the misunderstanding was rooted in our differing perceptions of the same situation. While I saw my absence as unavoidable and communicated in advance, Alex saw it as an abdication of responsibility during a critical period. This disparity in our viewpoints was the real culprit behind our conflict.

Resolution and Reconciliation

Recognizing the need to address the issue, I initiated a conversation with Alex. We both shared our perspectives openly and honestly. I acknowledged his feelings of abandonment and apologized for not making my situation clearer. Alex, in turn, understood my predicament and admitted that he could have sought help from others during my absence. This conversation was a turning point in resolving our misunderstanding.

Lessons Learned

The incident taught us the importance of effective communication, empathy, and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships. We learned that misunderstandings, while unpleasant, can serve as catalysts for strengthening bonds if handled with maturity and openness.

In conclusion, misunderstandings between friends are not uncommon. However, they can be resolved by open communication, empathy, and a willingness to understand each other’s perspectives. This incident with Alex served as a valuable lesson in how to navigate through misunderstandings and, in the process, has deepened our friendship.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on God Is My Only Friend
• Essay on Effect of Bad Friends
• Essay on Childhood Friend

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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37 Examples of Miscommunication Between Friends

Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts, but let’s be real, it doesn’t come with a manual. And without one, we’re all bound to hit a few bumps on the road. 

We’ve all been there—those little “whoops” moments when what we meant to say gets tangled up on the way out. You know how it goes—a text sent in haste, a joke that didn’t land quite right, or a comment that, well, let’s just say it sounded a whole lot better in your head.

And, what does it mean when your friend replies with just “K” ? Is it a time bomb ticking down to an argument, or just them being in a hurry? Keep reading, and let’s crack the code together and maybe even save you from your next “ whoops …” moment.

Table of Contents

Assuming a Text Message’s Tone Is Negative When It’s Neutral

You know the drill—you get a text that just says “Fine,” and suddenly your mind is racing. Is your friend mad at you? Upset? Or are they really just saying things are fine? 

Texting lacks the physical cues of face-to-face interaction, and missing out on someone’s tone of voice or facial expression can totally flip the script on what they’re actually trying to say.

But wait—what if the message was just plain old neutral?

Instead of allowing a phantom tone to set your mood, why not give your pal the benefit of the doubt or simply ask for clarification? “Hey, just checking. Is everything cool?”

A simple follow-up can clear the air and save you hours of needless worry. Remember, a digital “Okay” isn’t always a stern face; sometimes, it’s just an acknowledgment, as simple as a nod across the room.

Misinterpreting Sarcasm as Seriousness

You’re laughing over coffee, your friend throws a sarcastic quip, and it’s obvious they’re joking. Now, place that same quip in a text—without the laughter, without the playful eye roll. It lands differently, right?

Sarcasm and digital communication mix about as well as oil and water. Someone’s dry sense of humor can often be mistaken for serious criticism or snark when it’s just bits and bytes on your screen.

• What they say:  “Oh, you’re a  real  genius!”
• What they mean:  “That was a silly mistake, but I know you’re smart.”
• How it’s read:  “They think I’m dumb.”

When doubts creep in, reflect on past interactions. Are they often sarcastic? Would they actually criticize you in this way?

When in doubt, humor can be your best friend. A light-hearted, “Ouch, that sarcasm stung a bit, you good?” brings it out into the open.

Not Understanding Slang or Terms That a Friend Uses

Ever had a moment when a friend texts you some new slang, and you’re googling frantically to decipher the meaning? No one’s judging you at all!

Language evolves rapidly, especially with the influence of internet culture. This constant shift can make it easy to misinterpret what our friends are communicating.

While you’re getting the hang of “sus,” “snatched,” or “big yikes,” remember that not everyone is on the same page—age differences, cultural backgrounds, and personal preferences all play into it.

Remember to create an environment with your pals where it’s perfectly okay to say, “Hey, what does that mean?” Because, let’s face it, next month, there will be a fresh batch of jargon to decode, and keeping up should feel like part of the fun, not a homework assignment.

Not Clarifying Vague Plans and Missing Each Other

There’s a certain kind of headache reserved for when plans go awry due to a simple lack of clarification. “See you later at the cafe,” one might text, but which cafe? And at what time?

Imagine this: Two friends plan to meet for lunch ‘sometime after noon.’ One arrives at 12:15, the other at 2:00—they’ve both had their lunch separately by then. It’s a small hiccup, but it can cause unnecessary disappointment or even resentment in what’s supposed to be a pleasant experience.

So, let’s make a habit of being clear, shall we?

Misreading Body Language and Reacting Based on That

Have you ever interpreted a friend’s crossed arms as a sign of anger? Or their lack of eye contact as disinterest?

Body language is an important component of communication and misunderstandings here can quickly escalate. Without a proper grasp of your friend’s nonverbal cues or personal mannerisms, you might be reading too much into innocent gestures.

A friend might not be giving you the cold shoulder; maybe that’s just how they relax. Perhaps a friend’s avoidance of eye contact is just their reaction to a bright light or a shy personality trait. Without a script, we can’t let our interpretations of these cues set the stage.

Let’s look at ways to navigate this:

• Remind yourself that body language is personal and situational.
• Ask your friend how they’re feeling if their body language is giving mixed signals.
• Keep in mind some people use gestures and expressions differently.

Making Assumptions About a Friend’s Feelings Without Asking

“It seemed like she was mad at me.” Sound familiar?

Jumping to conclusions about a friend’s emotions can create rifts where none need to exist in the first place. We often interpret silence, short replies, or even a lack of emojis as indicators of a friend’s negative emotions toward us.

However, in reality, it’s often our own insecurities rather than the reality of the situation that leads to such assumptions. Open, heartfelt conversations are the antidote to these potential misunderstandings.

Communicate before you speculate—it’s a mantra worth repeating. And it’s these kinds of honest exchanges that can turn a potential misunderstanding into a deepening of the friendship bond.

Reading Too Much Into a Friend’s Social Media Post and Thinking It’s About You

Social media has us all guessing sometimes, doesn’t it? A cryptic post or an ambiguous quote can lead friends to wonder, “Is that about me?”

When friends post something like, “Some people need to learn respect,” it’s a challenge not to rifle through your memory, wondering if it’s a jab directed at you.

But pause before you fall into your own trap. Not everything is about you, sweetie.

Tips to avoid this pitfall:

• Remind yourself that not every post has a hidden message.
• If a post bothers you, ask your friend directly about it.
• Try not to obsess over vague statuses; they often have a broader context.

As with many things in life, social media content benefits from taking it with a grain of salt. It’s wiser to attribute shared quotes and musings to coincidence rather than subtext, but if it’s gnawing at you, a little honest convo can clear the air much faster than assumptions.

Here’s a potential conversation starter for when you’re feeling targeted by a post: “Hey, I saw your status. Just checking in to see if we’re okay?” This approach can not only offer peace of mind but also show your friend that you care about your relationship.

Expecting a Friend to Offer Support in a Situation Without Having Told Them You Need It

We can’t all be mind readers, despite how convenient that would be. It’s natural to hope for your friend’s support when you’re going through a rough patch.

However, they won’t always know you need them unless you speak up.

• Communicate your need for support; don’t wait for friends to guess it.
• Be specific about what kind of help or understanding you’re looking for.
• Recognize that friends show support in different ways.

Being vocal about our needs can make us feel vulnerable, but it’s also a chance to grow closer. By telling our friends when we need a shoulder to lean on, we invite them into our hearts.

They may show up with a pizza, send a thoughtful message, or just listen—the form varies, but the solidarity remains the same. In the end, it’s about creating a space where silent cries for help become shared bonds of support.

Misinterpreting a Friend’s Busy Schedule as Disinterest in the Friendship

In the hustle and bustle of adulting, juggling work, personal responsibilities, and social lives can be a challenge.

It’s easy to misread a friend’s hectic schedule as a sign they no longer value your relationship, especially when attempts to meet up fall flat or messages aren’t replied to as quickly as they once were.

Here’s a good approach:

• Respect that periods of busyness are normal and not reflective of their feelings toward you.
• Suggest scheduling a specific time to catch up that works for both of you.
• Foster patience and maintain supportive communication during these busy times.

Good friendships can withstand periods of silence. What counts is the quality of the connection, not the frequency of interaction.

The key is to find a rhythm that works for both of you, acknowledging that life’s pace changes, and so must the dynamics of our friendships.

Making Plans on a Platform One Person Seldom Checks

Communication platforms are numerous these days, and not everyone uses them with the same frequency. If you’ve ever sent a message on a social app and waited in vain for a response, only to discover your friend rarely opens that app, you’ve experienced this disconnect first-hand.

Ways to avoid this mishap include:

• Confirming the best platform for communication with each friend.
• Trying to have a couple of preferred communication methods in common.
• Sending a quick confirmation on the day to ensure the message was received.

It’s important to respect the communication preferences of each friend to maintain a smooth relationship. Knowing whether to send an SMS, a WhatsApp message or make a call can make all the difference in ensuring that plans are made effectively.

Taking a Joke Too Far Without Realizing It’s Hurtful

Humor is a wonderful glue in friendships, but knowing where to draw the line is a must. A joke may seem innocent and funny to you, but there’s always a risk it lands differently with someone else, especially if it hits their sore spot.

• Observe the reaction of your friend to ascertain their comfort level.
• Apologize promptly if you sense you’ve overstepped.
• Reflect later on why the joke might have been received poorly.

What’s said in jest can sometimes cut deeper than we realize. It’s a moment to step back and respect our different boundaries. Remember that what works with one friend might not be appropriate with another.

A key part of navigating this is to create an environment where your friend feels safe to tell you if something you’ve said hurt them. Open channels for such honest feedback will help ensure laughs never come at the expense of feelings.

Assuming Exclusivity in a Hangout Without Specifying

Ever planned a get-together thinking it was going to be just you and your friend, only to find out they brought along a couple of other folks? It’s like getting ready for a cozy chat over coffee and instead walking into a surprise party—not quite what you’d mentally prepared for.

When you don’t specify that you’re envisioning an exclusive meet-up, you can’t be too surprised if your friend has other ideas.

• When making plans, be upfront if you’re looking forward to one-on-one time.
• Understand that “hanging out” can mean different things to different people.
• Don’t shy away from reaffirming your expectations closer to the date.

So, the next time you feel like having that deep conversation with your friend, let them know it’s a “just us” invitation. This clear signal can prevent any mix-ups and ensure you both have the experience you’re hoping for.

After all, genuine connections are the ones where we can express our needs and have them met with understanding.

Forgetting to Relay a Crucial Piece of Information

Maybe you forgot to mention the dress code for an event or omitted the apartment number for an address. When something critical slips through the cracks, it can cascade into a series of confusions and mishaps.

It’s easy to underestimate the impact of missing info. You know the puzzlement when someone says, “I’ll see you there,” but never specifies where ‘there’ is? Suddenly, you’re in the dark, possibly wandering or waiting, when a simple additional detail could’ve set everything straight.

The act of forgetting isn’t usually a reflection of your feelings toward a friend; it’s just part of being human. However, making a habit of double-checking when communicating plans respects both your time and theirs.

Reading a Message but Forgetting to Reply, Giving the Impression of Disinterest

We’ve all done it—our friend sends us a message, we glance at it while doing something else, and then it completely slips our mind to go back and reply.

Unbeknownst to us, our friend may be sitting on the other end, feeling ignored or thinking we’re not interested in the conversation. It’s easy for them to interpret our radio silence as a lack of care when in reality, it was just an innocent slip.

• Marking a message as unread is a great reminder to get back to it.
• A quick reply, even if it’s to say you’ll respond in full later, acknowledges you’ve received the message.
• If you forget, a sincere apology and response as soon as you remember can clear the air.

If you’re on the other end, a gentle nudge can sometimes be the kindest move. It gives your friend the opportunity to right the oversight without any guilt or awkwardness.

Misunderstanding the Urgency of a Message

Ever received a message peppered with exclamation points and instantly thought it was a five-alarm fire? It’s easy to mistake someone’s enthusiasm or emphasis for urgency, especially in a text where cues like voice modulation are missing.

Texting “Call me!!!” could mean anything from “I have exciting news!” to “I need help right now!”

On the flip side, if we send a message that feels urgent to us but forget to specify why or how soon we need a response, our friend might not react with the promptness we expect.

Tip: Don’t leave it up to guesswork; a straightforward approach saves time and stress. And when in doubt, over-communicating is better than under-communicating.

Thinking a Friend Is Upset With You Because They’re Quieter Than Usual

Let’s talk about silence—not the comfy, “we-can-sit-in-silence-together” kind, but the “why-are-they-so-quiet” kind. 

Silence can be deafening, especially when it’s coming from a friend who’s typically chatty. You might wonder if you’ve done something wrong or if they’re giving you the cold shoulder.

• Silence isn’t always a bad thing; everyone has their ‘quiet’ days.
• Remember to check in, but respect their need for space if that’s what they want.
• Communicate! A simple “Is everything ok?” can clear the air.

Instead of cooking up a story in your head about why they’re quiet, why not just ask them? It could be they’ve just got a lot on their plate or they’re simply feeling mellow.

Most of the time, it’s not about you. Staying patient and showing you’re there for them talks way louder than any silence.

Interpreting Constructive Criticism as a Personal Attack

Criticism can sting, can’t it? Even when it’s meant with the best intentions. A friend is giving out a piece of advice, and instead of taking it as a helpful hint, we hear, “You’re doing it all wrong.”

This mix-up can turn a friendly tip into a friendly fire, which nobody wants. Here’s how to tell constructive criticism from a personal attack:

Before you react to criticism, take a beat. Ask yourself if your friend is really attacking you or if they’re pointing out something you could change for the better.

And remember, it’s totally okay to ask for clarification—like, “Are you suggesting this because you think I can improve?” Being clear can turn what feels like an attack into a conversation, and that’s when you really grow—not just in what you do but in your friendships, too.

Unintentionally Spilling Something Confidential

Whoops! You’ve let the cat out of the bag. We’ve all had that moment where you mention something you shouldn’t have, and it spreads like wildfire. Sometimes you don’t even realize it was a secret.

What to do next:

• If you slip up, own it. A sincere “I didn’t realize that was private, and I’m truly sorry” goes a long way.
• Learn from the slip. Make a mental note for next time, or even a real note if you need to.
• Repair the trust. Show through actions that keeping confidence is important to you.

Accidentally sharing confidential info doesn’t mean you’re the town gossip; sometimes, wires get crossed.

The best move is to be upfront and talk about it with your friend. It’s about rebuilding trust and showing that everyone makes mistakes, but you’re serious about making it right.

Expecting a Friend to Be Aware of Details That You Never Shared.

Ever been miffed at your friend because they didn’t celebrate your big work win, only to realize you never told them about it? It’s like you expected them to have psychic powers.

We can’t expect our friends to know something when we haven’t told them—that’s just setting them (and ourselves) up for disappointment.

How can we be clearer?

• When something’s important to you, make sure you actually share it. Say it out loud, send a text, or make a post.
• Remind your friend about the details, especially if you only mentioned it in passing.
• Practice the art of clear communication; it’s better to say something twice than to assume it’s known.

Reminder to self: Friends are many things, but mind readers aren’t one of them. Keeping them in the loop is key. By doing so, you enable them to be there for you in the ways you need.

Misconstruing a Compliment as Sarcasm or Mockery

Sometimes a kind word can be misunderstood and twisted into a sneer, especially if we’re feeling a bit insecure. When your friend says, “You look great in that outfit,” a little voice in your head whispers, “Do they really mean it?”

Doubt creeps in, and the intent of the compliment gets lost in translation. What to keep in mind:

• Trust that your friends mean what they say; give them credit for being genuine.
• If you’re unsure, a simple “Thanks, that means a lot!” can help affirm the sincerity behind words.
• Consider the broader context of your relationship—is there a history of sincerity?

It’s vital to reflect on why we might feel inclined to disbelieve positive comments from friends. Are there past experiences that color our perception? Or is it an issue of self-esteem that we need to address?

Assuming a Friend’s Need for Alone Time Is a Personal Slight

It stings a bit when a friend turns down your invite to hang out, right? You might wonder if they’re actually hinting at needing a break from you. But most of the time, it’s not a snub—it’s just them needing some me-time.

Take it in stride:

• Understand that alone time is healthy. It’s a recharge, not a rejection.
• Give your friend the space they’re asking for. They’ll appreciate the respect.
• Ask if they’re okay, but also trust when they say they just need to be alone.

Next time a friend opts for a solo night instead of a movie night, don’t let it bug you. It’s probably what they need to be their best self—for them and for you. After all, friendship is also about enjoying time together and respecting time apart.

Confusing Professional Advice From a Friend as a Personal Favor

When friends offer professional advice or assistance, lines can blur. We might take this counsel for granted, thinking it’s just a friend doing us a favor, without recognizing the value of their expertise or time. This confusion can lead to awkward situations where expectations don’t match the reality of the professional boundaries.

How to navigate?

• Keep personal and professional interactions distinct; acknowledge when a friend is offering their expert opinion.
• Establish whether you should treat their advice like a consultation or simply friendly support.
• If their professional input has truly helped you, show appreciation, be it through a thank you note, a return favor, or even an offering to pay for their services if appropriate.

Respect for your friend’s professional life and boundaries is important. They might be happy to help, but it’s also their livelihood, and understanding that balance is key to maintaining both the friendship and the professional respect.

Mistaking a Friend’s Private Nature for Secrecy or Dishonesty

Some of us are all about sharing, while others take a more low-key approach to personal stuff. It’s not that they’re trying to be secretive or dishonest; they’re just private.

Personal privacy is just that—personal. It doesn’t reflect on your friendship.

So next time your pal keeps things vague, remember it’s about them, not you. Giving them their space is a sign of a solid, understanding friendship.

Not Recognizing an Inside Joke or Reference, Leading to Confusion

Inside jokes are a blast, but when a friend looks puzzled instead of amused, it’s a sign they’re on the outside. This can lead to an awkward “you had to be there” moment, which can make friends feel excluded.

What to do when the inside jokes backfire?

• Read the room before you drop that inside joke.
• If it lands flat, fill your friend in on the backstory.
• Share the moment – make it inclusive or steer clear if it risks leaving someone out.

Quick tip: Bringing everyone in on the joke keeps the vibe upbeat and doesn’t leave anyone feeling left out. Keep the mood light and the laughs coming – for everyone.

Expecting a Friend’s Priorities to Align With Yours Without Discussing Them

When you’re super jazzed about something, it’s pretty normal to assume your friend will be cheering right alongside you. But what if they’re not?

What if they’re not sharing your level of excitement for that new yoga class or they’re less invested in planning your road trip? Well, that’s where expectations might need a tune-up.

What’s the deal?

• Realize that just because something lights up your world, it might not light up theirs, and that’s actually okay.
• Chat about what’s got you excited and ask what’s on their plate, too. Sharing is caring, after all.
• Consider their perspective and current life happenings. Being a friend means understanding that their world doesn’t always revolve around your interests.

Sometimes when you take a look from their side of the fence, you might realize that they’re juggling their own stuff, and it’s not about their enthusiasm (or lack thereof) for what’s important to you.

Remember that friendships are home to a whole spectrum of ideas, interests, and priorities, and that’s what keeps things interesting. Open up that conversation, and who knows? You might find that once they understand why something matters so much to you, they’ll get a little more fired up about it, too.

Confusing a Friend’s Neutral Facial Expression as a Sign of Boredom or Annoyance

It’s a fine line, isn’t it? You’re sharing an exciting story or idea, but your friend’s face is giving you… nothing. Zero. Zip. It’s tempting to think they’re uninterested—or worse, annoyed.

Before you dive headfirst into worry, remember that not everyone has a super-expressive face. What to do when faces don’t talk:

• Stay cool. Just because they’re not visibly cheering doesn’t mean they’re not internally clapping.
• Throw in a “What do you think?” to pull them into the convo.
• Know that a blank slate doesn’t necessarily mean a blank mind. They might be deep in thought, soaking it all in.

It’s like reading a book with a plain cover—you can’t guess the story inside just by looking at it. Sometimes, we’ve just got to turn the pages to find out more.

Believing a Friend Heard About Your Life Update From Someone Else

You’ve shared some major news on your social media or in a group chat. Later, you’re miffed that your friend hasn’t mentioned it at all.

Here’s the thing: Not everyone’s glued to their feeds 24/7, and posts can get lost in the digital shuffle.

• Give your friend a gentle nudge, like, “Hey, did you see my post about X?”
• Be direct and share your news in a one-on-one message or call. It makes it personal and ensures they’re in the loop.
• Instead of feeling overlooked, take control of your narrative. Share your stories with intention.

Just because it’s on blast online doesn’t mean it’s grabbed everyone’s attention. We all swim through a sea of content daily, and it’s easy to miss a wave or two—even the important ones.

A Friend Becoming Upset Over Actions You Considered Harmless

Picture this: you play a harmless prank on your friend, expecting laughs all around. Instead, you’re met with a frown, maybe even a tear. What was meant as a light-hearted jest has somehow struck a nerve. Despite your good intentions, your actions have upset your friend.

Everyone has different boundaries and thresholds for what’s funny or acceptable. A simple exchange can go a long way to ensuring future fun remains fun for everyone involved.

Here’s how you can steer through this rough patch:

• Apologize sincerely—acknowledge their feelings, don’t dismiss them.
• Discuss openly why your friend was upset; understanding their perspective can prevent future mishaps.
• Reflect on your actions from your friend’s point of view, respecting their sensitivities in the future.

When You Need a Listening Ear but Your Friend Is Preoccupied With Their Own Issues

Sometimes, you just need to vent. But when you turn to your friend for support, it seems that they’re also caught up in their whirlwind, barely noticing your storm.

It can feel a bit lonely when you’re ready to open up, and there’s no one there to catch your words.

How to deal with not being heard:

• Remember, everyone has their moments. Maybe today, they’re the ones needing the listening ear.
• Find the right time to share. “Can we talk? I really need someone to listen right now.”
• Be patient, and consider if someone else might be up for lending an ear at this moment.

A friendship is a two-way street. There are times you listen, and there are times you’re heard. Today’s their turn, tomorrow could be yours.

If You and Your Friend Have Plans to Hang Out, but They Bail at the Last Minute

It’s a bummer, right? You’ve got your outfit picked out, snacks in the bag, and you’re all set for a fun day with your bestie. Then your phone pings with the dreaded text. “Sorry, can’t make it.”

There you are, left with a plan that’s no longer happening. Again.

Let’s face it—life’s unpredictable. Maybe your friend’s got a lot on their plate that you don’t see, or they’re struggling with something they haven’t voiced yet. But that doesn’t make the frustration of rearranged plans and unmet expectations any less real.

Address the pattern:

• Express how you feel without pointing fingers. Something like, “I was really looking forward to hanging out. It’s bumming me out that we keep missing each other” gets the point across.
• Encourage them to be upfront. Are the last-minute changes really last minute, or do they see them coming?
• Suggest a different way to hang out that could be less prone to bailing, like a morning coffee instead of an evening event.

Remember, while you deserve respect and consideration, your friend likely isn’t flaking to hurt you. A calm and open dialogue can work wonders. It opens the door to understanding what’s really going on and can help you both find a middle ground.

Allowing Unresolved Issues to Worsen by Not Addressing Them in a Timely Manner

We’ve all been in that spot where a small rub with a friend seems too petty to bring up. So, what do we do? We tuck it away, not realizing that these little issues can grow into major tension if they’re not addressed.

What to do:

• Find a neutral time to talk it out. “I’ve noticed X lately, and it doesn’t feel great. Can we talk about it?”
• Approach the conversation with calm and openness. No one likes to be ambushed.
• Together, come up with a plan to prevent these issues from popping up again.

Tackling issues head-on (and early on) prevents them from growing into bigger, harder-to-handle problems. Clear them up, and you’ll both breathe easier. It’s like clearing the air – sometimes you’ve got to open a window.

Feeling Afraid to Say What You Really Think or Feel in Front of Your Friends

It’s like walking on eggshells, isn’t it? You’ve got thoughts bubbling up, but you’re scared they might spill over and stain the carpet of your friendship. It’s tough holding back because you want to be true to yourself, but you’re also not looking to rock the boat.

Here’s what might ease the tension:

• Consider why you feel hesitant. Is it the fear of being judged, or is it about not hurting their feelings?
• Practice stating your opinions in a respectful and calm manner; it’s all in the delivery.
• Remind yourself that true friends will love you, quirks, opinions, and all.

Friendships thrive on authentic exchanges, so while you’re being considerate of their feelings, don’t forget to honor your own.

If Your Friend Is Dating Someone Who You Believe Treats Them Poorly

This is a toughie. You see your friend’s significant other, and all your internal sirens automatically go off. They’re just not treating your bestie right. Do you step in and say something, or is that overstepping?

Here’s a thought process for this tricky situation:

• Reflect on whether your concerns are based on solid instances or just gut feelings.
• Talk to your friend from a place of care, not judgment. “I’m here for you, just want to make sure you’re happy.”
• Support your friend’s autonomy. They may see things you don’t, and they need to make their own choices.

Watching a friend potentially get hurt is painful, but being the one to help them see their worth is a testament to a true friendship. Just make sure you’re being fair, kind, and supportive, no matter what.

If a Friend Needs to Borrow Money

Money and friends—a combo that can go from “sure, no problem” to “uh-oh” real quick. Lending cash to a friend in need feels good, but it can also introduce some weird vibes if not handled properly.

Tips for keeping the awkwardness at bay:

• Lending money can alter dynamics; ensure both parties are clear to avoid a shift in the power balance.
• Be honest about what you can afford to lend without jeopardizing your own financial stability.
• Reflect on past experiences—if there’s a pattern of borrowing, it might be time for a deeper conversation about finances and friendship.

When you’re on the borrowing end, it’s just as crucial to keep things clear-cut. Show that your friendship is more valuable than any sum by being honest about your situation and diligent about repayment. Let them see that lending to you is a supportive gesture, not a risk.

Calling Each Other Out on Social Media

It’s a modern friendship quirk, isn’t it? One moment you’re liking each other’s photos, and the next, you’re airing grievances in the comments for all to see.

We know emotion can run high and the urge to vent is strong, but social media call-outs can leave deep scars that don’t fade easily.

The quick satisfaction of a public call-out pales compared to the lasting effects on your reputation and your friendship. Protect both by keeping disputes offline.

Miscommunication Can Happen When You or Your Friend are Tired or Stressed

We all know what it’s like to be running on empty, right? It doesn’t turn us into the best communicators. Our filters crash quicker than a poorly updated app. Recognizing this can help explain why your usually gentle friend is suddenly all caps and snappy replies.

• Cut each other some slack. We all have moments when we can serve grumpiness on the side.
• Signal to your friend that it’s a high-stress day so they know to tread lightly.
• If a conversation feels like it’s heading south, pump the brakes. Ask to pause and revisit it when you’re feeling more like yourself.

So go ahead, hit that emotional snooze button and revisit your chat after a good night’s sleep or some decompression time. It’s like a mini reset button for your conversation—and your friendship.

Feeling Jealous of a New Relationship

When your friend starts a new romantic relationship, it should be a happy time. But sometimes, those green-eyed feelings sneak in. You used to hang out all the time, and now they’re off in their love bubble. It’s not like you wanted to third-wheel forever, but you can’t shake off feeling a bit sidelined.

Dealing with jealousy can be tough:

• Remember, their new relationship doesn’t diminish your friendship.
• Reconnect over shared interests and plan regular catch-ups when possible.
• Express happiness for your friend, and talk about how you can maintain your bond.

It’s key to remember that friendships evolve as life does. Yes, it can sting when the status quo changes, but it’s also an opportunity to grow and find new dynamics within your friendship.

Final Thoughts

Laugh off the little things, confront the bigger issues with compassion, and never forget the power of a simple, heartfelt talk.

Remember, the strongest friendships aren’t the ones that never see a hiccup—they’re the ones that can weather a misstep or two and emerge with a chuckle. After all, isn’t that what friends are for—to learn, to grow, and to laugh about it all later?

Keep talking, keep listening, and most of all, keep cherishing the friends who stick around through the misunderstood texts and beyond.

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Resolving Conflict in Friendships

The other day I had a bit of a falling out with my good friend Alissa. I told a guy she liked about a conversation we shared, not knowing she would be so offended by it. After my disagreement with Alissa, I realized that I had some decisions to make as to how I was going to deal with this conflict.

Yes, I had overstepped my boundaries. No, I didn’t want to lose my three-year friendship with Alissa over a comment I made to the guy she liked. So now what? In my mind, the options were to let her go in hopes the problem would go away or to try to talk it out with her. I decided to attempt the confrontation.

Conflict. It’s a fact of life. It’s a fact in friendships. You develop a friendship with someone, and conflict is sure to occur .

Many superficial friendships end up being shelved after an argument because there isn’t enough depth to warrant all the trouble it takes to smooth over the disagreement. Unfortunately, even when the friendship reaches a deeper level, conflict continues to happen and can break apart a relationship.

First and foremost, talk the situation over soon after it occurs. And do it quickly! From my experience, people begin to talk about what happened while it is still fresh in their minds. Good, step in the right direction, right? Well, not always… particularly when the talking isn’t with the person involved, but with other friends or acquaintances.

People begin to pick sides. The gossip circulates and all of a sudden, friends become enemies. Suddenly everyone is mad at everyone else. So, be sure to talk with the person with whom you are upset without the interference of people who aren’t really involved.

Resolve it the day it happens. One rule my parents follow in their marriage is that they don’t go to bed angry with each other. They always attempt to resolve things the day it happens so that in the morning, it’s a fresh start with no past grudges. I’ve found I need a short cool down period of a couple of minutes so that I don’t act in anger, and can instead act with a more rational mind. For some, counting to one hundred before saying anything may be an option. Whatever you do, don’t let things ride for too long. Even when you don’t see eye to eye, agree to disagree. Tell them that while you may not agree with what they’re saying, you still value their friendship.

Try to see the other person’s perspective. Sometimes if you sit down and talk things over, you begin to see where the other person is coming from. Realize that everyone has been created differently with various talents, abilities, and personality traits. For example, you might be a leader while your friend is more of a follower. You may be frustrated with him or her for not being very decisive. Yet it is important to understand that no matter what your quirks, each person is still unique and needs to be appreciated.

Here’s a tough one – initiate resolution. Be the first person in a fight to say sorry for your part. Even when you think the other person is wrong, it’s not a bad thing to say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if I offended you in that way.” If you’re honest, genuine, and gentle in delivering your words, there’s a good chance your friend will reciprocate positively. Use feeling words since no one can argue with your feelings. For example, “When you do this, you make me feel silly.”

Focus on the bigger picture. Successfully facing and working through the discomfort of conflict in a friendship has a worthwhile reward: a deeper relationship.

Don’t accuse by using the word, “you.”

Be sensitive. Try to offer solutions when appropriate, but know when to listen. Don’t underestimate the importance of a listening ear.

Most important, be loving in what you do. Don’t go out to “get” the other person, but try to focus on peacefully resolving the disagreement.

Resolving conflict in any friendship is not the most pleasant task, but it is worth the hassle because the result on the other end is a deeper friendship.

Reprinted with permission from Iamnext.com

This article was written by: Kristin Feenstra

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Miscommunication Between Friends

Embark on a comprehensive exploration of “Miscommunication Between Friends: A Complete Guide with Communication Examples.” This guide delves into real-life scenarios to unravel the complexities of friend communication. Discover valuable insights, practical tips, and effective strategies to navigate and enhance your friendships by fostering clearer communication and understanding. Learn from diverse examples that illuminate the common pitfalls and dynamics within friend relationships, ensuring you can strengthen your bonds and overcome communication hurdles effortlessly.

What is Miscommunication Between Friends?

Miscommunication between friends occurs when there is a failure to express thoughts, feelings, or intentions clearly, leading to misunderstandings. In simple terms, it’s the unintentional gaps in understanding among friends that result in confusion, conflicts, or tension. This breakdown in effective communication highlights the importance of expressing oneself transparently and interpreting messages accurately within the context of friendship dynamics.

What is the Best Example of Miscommunication Between Friends?

In this scenario, a friend plans a surprise gathering, assuming the element of surprise would add joy. However, the invite had unclear details, and some friends missed the event, leading to disappointment. The well-intentioned surprise clashed with expectations, highlighting how miscommunication about event details can impact friendships. This example underscores the importance of clear communication, ensuring everyone is on the same page to avoid unintentional lapses in friendship dynamics.

20 Miscommunication Between Friends Examples

Explore the nuances of friend communication with this curated collection of examples. Each scenario sheds light on common pitfalls, offering valuable insights into miscommunication between friends and ways to navigate these challenges for stronger friendships.

• Mismatched Weekend Plans: Miscommunication arises when friends interpret “casual hangout” differently, clarifying plans ensures everyone is on the same page.
• Unmet Expectations for Shared Expenses: Confusion arises when friends have differing views on shared expenses; discussing financial expectations beforehand prevents misunderstandings.
• Misunderstood Emotional Support: Friends misinterpret the need for space as neglect; clear communication about emotional needs fosters supportive friendships.
• Communication Gaps in Group Chats: Miscommunication occurs in group chats when messages are unclear; using direct language ensures everyone comprehends the intended message.
• Differing Definitions of “Quality Time”: Conflict arises when friends have different expectations of quality time; discussing preferences ensures mutually enjoyable interactions.
• Navigating Sensitive Topics: Miscommunication arises when addressing sensitive topics; using empathy and open communication prevents unintentional conflicts.
• Social Media Faux Pas: Confusion occurs when friends misinterpret social media posts; expressing intentions clearly prevents unnecessary misunderstandings.
• Unclarified Birthday Expectations: Friends feel disappointed due to unmet birthday expectations; discussing preferences ensures celebrations align with individual desires.
• Cancelled Plans Interpretation: Miscommunication arises when friends cancel plans; clarifying reasons and rescheduling prevents potential hurt feelings.
• Mismatched Communication Frequency: Conflicts arise when friends have different expectations for communication frequency; discussing preferences fosters understanding.
• Gift Preferences Clash: Miscommunication occurs when friends have differing views on gift-giving; openly discussing preferences ensures thoughtful exchanges.
• Handling Expressions of Concern: Friends misinterpret concern as interference; clear communication about boundaries ensures respectful support.
• Addressing Late Responses: Miscommunication arises when friends perceive late responses differently; expressing expectations for response time fosters understanding.
• Navigating Personal Space: Conflict arises when friends have different views on personal space; establishing boundaries and discussing comfort levels is essential.
• Interpretation of Humor Styles: Miscommunication occurs when friends misinterpret humor styles; acknowledging diverse comedic preferences prevents unintended offense.
• Differing Views on Supportive Actions: Friends may interpret supportive actions differently; discussing expectations ensures gestures align with individual preferences.
• Handling Changes in Friendship Dynamics: Miscommunication arises when friends navigate evolving dynamics; openly addressing changes prevents assumptions and potential conflicts.
• Celebration Preferences Discrepancy: Friends feel misunderstood due to differing celebration preferences; discussing expectations ensures meaningful and enjoyable festivities.
• Navigating Personal Growth: Miscommunication occurs when friends embark on personal growth journeys; openly discussing changes fosters understanding and support.
• Understanding Apology Styles: Conflict arises when friends have different apology expectations; communicating apology styles prevents prolonged misunderstandings.

Explore these examples to enhance your awareness of friend miscommunication, fostering stronger and more resilient friendships.

Miscommunication Between Friends in Business Examples

Explore the dynamics of friend communication in business settings with these real-life examples. Uncover the challenges and effective strategies to navigate miscommunication between friends while maintaining professional relationships.

• Project Misalignment: Miscommunication arises when friends misinterpret project goals; regular check-ins and clarifications ensure alignment for successful collaboration.
• Conflicting Leadership Styles: Friends experience tension due to differing leadership approaches; open communication about expectations fosters a harmonious work environment.
• Interpretation of Feedback: Miscommunication occurs when friends perceive feedback differently; encouraging transparent discussions ensures constructive critique is well-received.
• Navigating Work-Life Balance: Conflicts arise when friends have contrasting views on work-life balance; openly discussing expectations ensures a supportive and understanding workplace.
• Decision-Making Differences: Friends encounter challenges when decision-making styles clash; creating a process that accommodates diverse perspectives ensures collaborative choices.

Miscommunication Between Friends at School Examples

Delve into the realm of friend communication within educational settings, exploring how miscommunication impacts relationships. Gain insights into effective strategies to foster clearer communication and understanding.

• Group Project Misunderstandings: Miscommunication arises when friends have differing expectations for group projects; establishing clear roles and expectations ensures a successful collaboration.
• Exam Preparation Confusion: Friends experience tension due to miscommunication about study plans; openly discussing study habits and expectations enhances academic cooperation.
• Interpretation of Class Participation: Miscommunication occurs when friends interpret class participation differently; clarifying expectations fosters an inclusive and supportive learning environment.
• Handling Friendship in Academics: Conflicts arise when friends navigate friendship within academic contexts; openly addressing boundaries ensures a harmonious balance between friendship and academics.
• Communication Gaps in Extracurricular Activities: Friends encounter challenges in extracurricular activities due to communication gaps; establishing clear communication channels ensures smooth coordination and participation.

What are the causes of Miscommunication Between Friends?

Miscommunication between friends can strain relationships, leading to confusion and conflicts. Understanding the causes behind these breakdowns in communication is crucial for fostering healthier and more resilient friendships.

• Differing Communication Styles: Friends may have distinct ways of expressing themselves, leading to misunderstandings when communication styles clash.
• Assumptions and Unspoken Expectations: Unspoken assumptions and expectations can create gaps in understanding, causing unintentional miscommunication.
• Interpretation of Non-Verbal Cues: Misunderstandings often stem from differing interpretations of non-verbal cues, such as body language and facial expressions.
• Inadequate Expression of Feelings: Friends may struggle to articulate their feelings effectively, leading to confusion about emotions and intentions.
• Social Media and Digital Misinterpretations: The digital realm can introduce miscommunication, as friends may misinterpret messages or tones conveyed through social media.
• Lack of Active Listening: Failure to actively listen to each other can result in miscommunication, as key details may be overlooked or misunderstood.
• Mismatched Expectations: Differences in expectations regarding time, effort, and commitment to the friendship can contribute to miscommunication.
• Fear of Confrontation: Friends may avoid addressing concerns directly, fearing confrontation, which can lead to unresolved issues and miscommunication.
• Cultural and Background Variances: Diverse cultural backgrounds may lead to varying communication norms, causing miscommunication between friends from different cultural contexts.
• Changes in Relationship Dynamics: As friendships evolve, changes in dynamics can introduce miscommunication, particularly when expectations haven’t been openly discussed.

Understanding these causes empowers friends to proactively address potential pitfalls and nurture clearer communication, fortifying their bonds against the challenges of miscommunication.

What do you do to resolve miscommunication Between Friends?

Miscommunication between friends can strain relationships, but understanding how to resolve conflicts is key to fostering stronger bonds. Follow these steps to navigate and address miscommunication effectively:

Introduction: Friendship miscommunication is inevitable, but proactive resolution strengthens connections. By acknowledging differences and actively seeking resolution, friends can enhance understanding and fortify their relationships.

• Encourage friends to listen attentively to each other’s perspectives.
• Validate feelings and demonstrate empathy to foster mutual understanding.
• Encourage open and honest expression of feelings.
• Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory and promote personal responsibility.
• Discourage friends from making assumptions about each other’s intentions.
• Encourage seeking clarification instead of jumping to conclusions.
• Suggest resolving issues in a calm and private setting.
• Timing is crucial; address miscommunication when both friends are receptive.
• Emphasize the importance of clear and direct communication.
• Encourage friends to articulate their thoughts without ambiguity.
• Highlight the diversity in communication styles among friends.
• Promote acceptance of these differences to avoid misinterpretations.
• Encourage a culture of apology and forgiveness.
• Acknowledge mistakes, apologize sincerely, and be open to forgiving.
• If miscommunication persists, suggest seeking mediation.
• A neutral third party can offer insights and facilitate constructive dialogue.

Tips for Effective Miscommunication Between Friends?

Navigating potential miscommunication in friendships requires a thoughtful approach. Here’s a guide to foster effective communication and strengthen your bonds with friends:

1. Active Listening:

• Practice attentive listening to understand your friends’ perspectives.
• Validate their feelings and express empathy during conversations.

2. Clear Expression of Expectations:

• Clearly communicate your expectations and boundaries to avoid misunderstandings.
• Encourage friends to share their expectations openly.

3. Open and Honest Communication:

• Foster an environment where honesty is valued and encouraged.
• Address concerns promptly to prevent unresolved issues.

4. Clarify Misunderstandings Promptly:

• When miscommunication occurs, address it promptly and openly.
• Seek clarification rather than making assumptions.

5. Use “I” Statements:

• Express feelings using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
• Encourage friends to communicate their needs similarly.

6. Be Mindful of Non-Verbal Cues:

• Pay attention to non-verbal cues like body language and facial expressions.
• Interpret and respond to non-verbal signals effectively.

7. Understand Different Communication Styles:

• Recognize that friends may have different communication styles.
• Adapt your approach to align with their preferred style.

8. Choose Appropriate Communication Channels:

• Consider the context and use appropriate communication channels.
• Some discussions may be better suited for face-to-face conversations.

By incorporating these tips into your friendships, you can create a communication-rich environment, minimizing the chances of miscommunication and strengthening the bonds you share with your friends.

In conclusion, this guide unveils the intricacies of miscommunication between friends, offering valuable insights through real-life examples. Navigating misunderstandings with effective communication strategies is key to fostering stronger and more resilient friendships. By understanding the common pitfalls and employing practical tips, friends can build lasting connections, ensuring their relationships thrive in the face of communication challenges.

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“Treat your friends like you do your best pictures; place them in the best light.” ~Unknown

I recently had a disagreement with a close friend.

There was a good deal of uncontrolled emotion on my side. I wasn’t expressing myself well and I knew it. I became more and more frustrated and less effective at explaining my feelings.

I found myself laying unwarranted blame on my friend rather than admitting openly that something was hurting me and I was feeling vulnerable.

Ultimately, he said the words I was having trouble finding for me, and that resolved the situation.

I was embarrassed and grateful, but I realized I needed to evaluate a few of my shortcomings to avoid making the same mistake again.

I also realized that what I was feeling wasn’t the problem.

It was my inability to effectively convey what was in my heart and on my mind that led to hurt feelings and further misunderstanding.

After much self examination, I’ve come up with a few tips to communicate effectively during a conflict.

1. Think about whether this needs to be said right now, in this moment.

Sometimes the opportunity will be missed if not.

In my case, I felt I needed to bring the subject up right then or I might not have gotten the nerve again. I went for it, but it could have gone better if I’d waited to form a well organized idea of what I wanted to say.

2. Think about the other person’s state of mind.

Is he/she tired, under other stress, or not in an ideal place right now to have a heartfelt talk?

3. Consider if you have a good handle on your emotions.

Also, consider if you have the proper perspective to deal with the potential consequences.

Email, texts, and cell phone calls are not an ideal way to introduce the need to talk about something substantial.

4. Hold off on the confrontation if you feel the time is not right.

There is a marked difference in avoiding a hard topic and thoughtfully planning the ideal time to have a potentially difficult conversation.

5. Focus on breathing to help control your emotions.

If you begin a difficult conversation starting from a place of controlled emotion and grace, the path will be smoother.

6. Keep your perspective broad and realistic.

Don’t place too much importance on a single talk. Most of the progress in relationships comes from a series of discussions as they unravel naturally. Try and stay in the moment and minimize added drama by bringing up old or irrelevant issues.

7. Listen more than you talk.

It’s fine to be heard, but if you are not listening to the other’s response, the discussion is pointless.

8. Avoid adding unnecessary drama.

These things never help to fix a problem and ultimately bring more hurt to all involved. These include ultimatums, yelling, threatening to cut off the friendship, name calling, and personal attacks.

If it comes to that, walk away. Breathe, step back, and allow some time before you try again.

9. Focus on what the person is trying to communicate.

I’m often reminded as a parent to listen to my children’s words and not necessarily the emotion behind them. Emotions are fleeting, and rarely final. They are simply a temporary reaction to the current situation.

My three-year-old sometimes throws temper tantrums when she’s frustrated, but if I listen and respond to her words, it often diffuses her anger. Many times she is telling me she is not feeling heard as the youngest member of our family. I focus on the simple phrase, “Mommy! Listen to me!” Not her screaming voice and kicking feet.

10. Acknowledge the feelings.

If you acknowledge that someone is angry or hurt, you can better understand the sharp or harsh words that may be coming from them. You can choose to help them deal with their emotions or let them regain their composure to talk another time.

11. Take a realistic assessment of your true feelings in the moment.

I tend to distort and add unintended nuances to the words that others say when I am upset. This has caused me a great deal of distress in past conflicts. I am not on the wrong page, but in the wrong book sometimes metaphorically speaking.

After such experiences, I find the other person saying “How did you come to that conclusion from what I said?”

This is a classic example of our ability to inflict the worst hurts upon ourselves.

If I realize that I am upset and try to hear the words being said to me as they are, without my running mental commentary, things come across much clearer.

12. Clear the emotional fog enough to receive the message.

If you need to ask for clarification or even repeat what you think the other person is trying to say, so be it.

13. Know that most well established relationships can weather the occasional conflict just fine.

It can even be an opportunity to grow and evolve as you turn a new corner of understanding one another.

The friend I argued with is the best kind. He challenges me to broaden my perspective. He is relentless in keeping me from settling and expecting too little from life. He pushes me out of the nest over and over when I get too comfortable.

Don’t avoid expressing how you feel for the sake of preserving a friendship.

The foundation of all relationships is grounded on honesty and trust. It’s okay to show weakness, to be wrong, or to just plain melt down from time to time. Each person has something to give and something to learn. Conflict might be considered the way to pass along such knowledge.

I am fortunate my friend knew me well and was willing to give me space and offer forgiveness. The next time I have something to say, I will try to remember this and be more straightforward.

Every challenge with another is a chance to better our response. They give us the chance to practice patience, respect for others, detachment, and compassion. The added benefit is strengthening our relationships and our ability to communicate.

About Nicole Franco

Nicole Franco is an emerging freelance fiction writer seeking representation for her first novel. She enjoys family, horses, travel, reading, photography, and making others laugh. To read more of her writing or hire her for freelance work, visit francowrites.com .

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Being misunderstood is painful, how to bear the burden of being misunderstood by others..

Posted March 29, 2014 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

One of the hardest burdens to bear is being misunderstood by other people. All of us, at one point or another, experience looking into the eyes of another person and realizing that he or she simply does not see us the way we see ourselves, and probably never will.

How you respond to being misunderstood will be the difference between spending a good deal of time trying to correct other people's misperceptions or being free to carry on with your life no matter what others think of you.

This choice came home to me in the first marathon I ever participated in. I was in the great city of Prague in the Czech Republic for my very first 26.2-mile race—a destination adventure I'd been planning (and training for) for well over a year. On the morning of the race, my running companion and I arrived at the starting area 45 minutes early. Or so we thought. We quickly realized that, although we were early, there should be more people milling around—more activity, more excitement.

A sneaking suspicion began to arise in both of us that we had made some kind of mistake, so we dug through my friend's bag for the paper with all of the race information on it and discovered, to our horror and deep disappointment, that we were not 45 minutes early at all. We were 15 minutes late!

In a rush, with heart rates soaring, we scurried to the starting line itself where a volunteer said, "Yes, you are late. Go now. Follow the course." Since the race was chip timed, although we'd missed our opportunity to run with the crowd, we could still do the race and get an accurate reading on how long it took us. So off we went.

We followed the course, which was cordoned off through the ancient city with temporary fences to keep bystanders from getting in the way of the runners. Along the cobbled streets we went, running faster than we'd trained in our attempt to close in on the back of the pack. And then, the worst thing possible happened: We lost our way.

Probably thinking that all the initial runners had come through, volunteers had begun taking down the fences that indicated the direction of the route. My companion and I stood in the midst of strangers—tourists and fans out to watch the beginning of the race—totally confused. There was no way to know where the runners had gone.

Suddenly, out from behind a building, a small group of fit, fast racers emerged. The route had somehow circled the downtown and was now about to cross a bridge to take runners into a more rural area along the Vltava River.

I looked at my friend. He looked at me. And with a nod, we agreed that we should jump in and follow these runners. We knew we were cutting off about three miles from the official route, but with no one to guide us, jumping in would make the best of an unfortunate situation. So jump in we did.

And the crowd went wild! "Boo! Cheaters! You suck!" they shouted at us. (Well, they were shouting in Czech, but I'm fairly sure that's what they were saying.)

We felt terrible—guilty and embarrassed. What had we just done?

After running in silent shame for a mile or so, we finally began to talk about what had just happened. "I've never cheated in a race before," my friend said.

"I've never cheated, period," I replied. I'd always been one of those people who would drive five miles to return a pen I accidentally walked out with after writing a check at a grocery store. The dark dishonor of what we'd done weighed us both down.

"What should we do?"

What could we do?

We brainstormed for a good long time about how to right our wrong and finally determined that we would finish the miles ahead of us, but when we crossed the finish line, we would not allow the medals to be placed around our necks. Instead, we would take them back to the hotel where a map of the course sat on the dresser. We would shower and get dressed. Then, with the course map in hand, we would solemnly walk the part of the course we had missed. And only when we finished that walk would we put on our medals.

And while this plan appeased our consciences, there was nothing at all we could do about the bad opinions of those who had booed and hissed at us when we jumped into the race. We had no power to find those people who saw us "cheat" and tell them: "Look, we really are good, honest people." No, we would have to live with the fact that there were people in the world who might always tell the story of the day they watched two runners cheat their way onto a marathon course in Prague.

And so it is. We'd have to let it go and know that we'd done the best we could to be true to our values.

Whether those who misunderstand you are strangers or family members, you have to choose what will drive your behavior: your own conscience or your fear of what others might think of you.

Choose your conscience. It lives inside of you and goes everywhere you go. Tolerating the fact that others believe you are dishonest/unkind/stingy/rude (fill in the blank) is not easy. It takes a great deal of self-control not to retrace your steps and try to constantly explain yourself so that people might see you the way you see yourself. But trust me, you'll never finish the race if you do that.

Cami Ostman, M.S. , is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Washington State and the author of Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents .

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How to Fix an Argument Between Friends

Last Updated: March 29, 2024 References

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. This article has been viewed 94,407 times.

Even the best of friends argue sometimes. Arguments between friends can lead to hurt feelings, avoidance of one another, an increase in future conflict, and ultimately, the breaking down of the friendship altogether. In order to mend the friendship, you may need to first address the problem or argument. It can hurt and be difficult, but luckily there are positive ways of dealing with arguments and conflict such as: planning to fix the situation, utilizing conflict resolution skills, using positive communication, and reducing future conflicts.

Planning to Fix the Situation

• Begin by looking at what happened from your perspective and thinking rationally about it. Use both your rational mind and your emotional mind, but try to look at the situation objectively. Let’s say you found out that your friend was talking negatively about you behind your back. Think about all of the specifics of the situation. How did you find out? What did the person say? How did you handle it?
• In order to analyze the issue, it can be helpful to identify what led to the issue and what happened afterwards. Identify the Antecedent (what happened before the conflict), Behavior (what you did) and Consequence (what happened as a result of the behavior). Let’s imagine that the conflict began by you finding out that your friend is talking behind your back (antecedent), and then you confronted your friend which turned into a verbal argument (behavior). Next, you and your friend stopped talking to each other for a week (consequence).
• Know that some arguments are okay; not all arguments are bad. It is okay to disagree with your friends sometimes, and argue or debate about a topic. [1] X Research source It is how you go about arguing that is important; each person needs to be respectful and neither should be aggressive.

• One way of doing things differently is thinking differently. For example, if someone told you your friends was talking negatively about you, is it possible that this isn’t true?
• Another way of doings things differently is changing your actions. If you confronted your friend about what you heard, can you identify a better way you could have approached the situation? Were you really mad when you tried to resolve the conflict? Did you say something you regret?

• Gather some ideas about what hurt your feelings or made the situation more difficult for you. For example, perhaps your friend called you a bad name and cursed at you, and this made you feel sad and angry.
• Identify specifically what your friend could have done differently. For example, if your friend cursed at you, perhaps she could have lowered her voice, spoken calmly, and used words that were not hurtful or aggressive.

Resolving the Conflict

• If you haven’t talked to your friend in a while, try texting or calling her to set up a time to meet. You could say something like, "Hey. I'd like to set up a time to talk with you in person? Are you okay with that?"
• Avoid having a conversation about the issue over text, messenger, email, or phone. Face-to-face contact is the best approach to solving conflict because it reduces the likelihood of a miscommunication; you can’t tell a person’s tone or facial expression from a text message. You can say, "I think it would be better if we talk about this in person. I really want to be able to understand you better. How about we go get coffee?"
• Pick an appropriate location that is somewhat private. Do not involve other people as this can seem like you are ganging up on your friend; talk to your friend individually. [3] X Research source Good locations might be at a coffee shop, your home, or a park. Try to avoid places like school or work (where other people you know might be around).
• Discuss each side of the situation. First let your friend talk about her experience and her feelings. This shows that you are willing to put your thoughts aside while you focus on her.

• Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. How would it feel to be in her situation? What would it be like to think her thoughts and feel her feelings? Are there other things going on in her life that are affecting the situation (difficult situations at home or at school)?
• Try to be understanding and look at her point of view as an outsider. Maintain a distant stance from your own emotions in the meantime in order to reduce the likelihood that you will take something she says personally and react emotionally.

• Say something like, "I realize you are hurt and I'm sorry." Then listen to what she has to say. Don’t say something like, "I might have been wrong, but you made it worse."
• Reader Poll: We asked 286 wikiHow readers who’ve argued with a loved one, and 60% of them agreed that the best way to show your commitment to rebuilding the relationship is by apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions . [Take Poll]

• You could start by saying, "I really want to solve this problem together. Do you think we can come up with a solution that we both agree on?" You can also emphasize that you are willing to work on things by saying, "I understand that I need to work on some things too, so I want you to know that I'm open to hearing about what you'd like me to do better next time."
• Focus on being cooperative and helping the other person. [6] X Research source Instead of thinking about your own needs, think about your own desires in the context of your friend’s needs as well. Is there a way you can both get your needs met in a safe and healthy way? Perhaps you can help your friend learn how to communicate better, and you can learn how to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
• Don’t compromise too much. Compromising may mean you get only part of what you want, and sacrifice of your important desires. [7] X Research source Be willing to budge a bit, but don’t completely compromise your wants and needs to appease the other person.
• Analyze possible solutions and agree on one option that fits for the both of you. Take a look at the situation and think of how to solve it together. Perhaps make a list of options where both parties involved would work on something. For example, if you heard that your friend was talking negatively about you and you confronted her, some solutions might be that you could have spoken more assertively instead of aggressively, and your friend could have done the same. Once you have come to this conclusion, you can agree on what you both can do differently in the future.

Using Positive Communication

• Be direct. Approach your friend calmly and tactfully. Listen to her point of view, and then explain how you feel.
• Use “I statements,” such as, “I felt angry when I heard you were talking bad about me to other people.” Make sure you emphasize how you feel instead of what the other person did; you should always state your feelings first in order to reduce the likelihood that the other person will react emotionally or take it personally.
• Focus on positive aspects of the relationship. You could say something like, "Your friendship means a lot to me and I don't want this to come between us.”
• Maintain positive eye contact. Don’t stare without looking away every once in a while, and don’t avoid eye contact. Maintain eye-contact that is comfortable, look away every once in a while, then regain eye-contact.

• Avoid engaging in hurtful behaviors such as name-calling, put-downs, or blaming. [10] X Research source For example, don’t say things like, "I can't believe you did that. I hate you. You’re stupid.” Instead, say something assertive like, "I felt really angry when I heard that you were talking about me behind my back. I know that it may have been taken out of context, but can you give me your side of what happened? I'd like to understand where you're coming from."

• Don’t avoid the problem, this can result in unresolved conflict. [12] X Research source
• Don’t apologize for everything, only your part in the problem. In other words, do not take the entire blame. There are always two people in a conflict, and in most case both people exhibit behaviors that contribute to the issue.
• Look at your friend and maintain eye-contact instead of staring at the floor or fidgeting.
• Do not simply accommodate the other person’s will or wishes. Your needs are just as important. [13] X Research source

• Some examples of passive-aggressive communication are sarcasm, talking behind the person’s back (speaking negatively about her to others), spreading rumors, or getting other people to dislike your friend.

Reducing the Frequency of Future Arguments

• Allow for space. Sometimes friends need a break from one another in order to re-assess the situation and get some clarity.
• Give up control. Trying to control your friend may produce negativity within the relationship. [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Respect your friend’s wishes if she doesn't want to talk about the situation, but let her know it's upsetting you.
• Do not force her to talk things through as this may lead to another argument.

• Avoid having conversations when you are very angry. Walk away if there is a conflict that may escalate into aggressive communication or violence. [15] X Research source
• Keep calm and remember to breathe!

• Identify your strengths and cultivate them! Let’s say you are good at performing, join an acting class or audition for the school play. The more activities and skills you involve yourself in the better!

Expert Q&A

You might also like.

• ↑ http://scholar.uwindsor.ca/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1863&context=ossaarchive
• ↑ https://ascelibrary.org/doi/full/10.1061/%28ASCE%291532-6748%282005%295%3A4%2887%29
• ↑ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02673843.2012.690933#.Vc5jzbWzm70
• ↑ http://www.researchgate.net/profile/Susan_Branje/publication/6387662_Empathy_and_conflict_resolution_in_friendship_relations_among_adolescents/links/02e7e51c066950fc57000000.pdf
• ↑ http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/communication.htm
• ↑ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2633221/

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Essay on Friendship

List of essays on friendship, essay on friendship – short essay for kids (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on friendship – 10 lines on friendship written in english (essay 2 – 250 words), essay on friendship – for school students (class 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7) (essay 3 – 300 words), essay on friendship – for students (essay 4 – 400 words), essay on friendship (essay 5 – 500 words), essay on friendship – introduction, benefits and qualities (essay 6 – 600 words), essay on friendship – essay on true friendship (essay 7 – 750 words), essay on friendship – importance, types, examples and conclusion (essay 8 – 1000 words).

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Who is in this world does not have a friend?

A friend, with whom you just love to spend your time, can share your joys and sorrows. Most importantly you need not fake yourself and just be what you are. That is what friendship is all about. It is one of the most beautiful of the relations in the world. Students of today need to understand the values of friendship and therefore we have composed different long essays for students as well as short essays.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 Standard).

Introduction:

Friendship is considered as one of the treasures that anyone can possess. God has given us the liberty to choose friends because they are for our lifetime. It is quite normal for our parents and siblings to love us because they are our own blood but a friend is someone who is initially a stranger and then takes his/her place above all the other relations. Friendship is nothing but pure love without any expectations.

Role of a Friend:

True friends share and support each other even during the toughest of times. A true friend is one who feels happy for our success, who feel sad for our failures, fight with us for silly things and hugs us the next second, gets angry on us when we do any mistakes. Friendship is all about having true friends who can understand us without the need for us to speak.

Conclusion:

Friendship is very essential for a happy life. Even a two-minute chat with a friend will make us forget our worries. That is the strength of friendship.

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Friends are those you can choose for yourself in spite of the difference you both have from each other. A good friend in need will do wonders in your life, whenever you are in need of self-realization, upbringing your confidence and more.

Friendship serves you best not only in your happiest moments but also when you feel low in emotions. A life without a good friend is not at all complete and an emptiness will be felt all the time you think of sharing your emotion that can’t be told to anyone else.

Honesty and Patience in Friendship:

To maintain and keep going with a good deep friendship, honesty is the most important factor. You should choose a person who can be cent percent honest with you in all perspective like emotions, decision making, etc. Trustworthy friendship will help you to take better decisions and choose a better path for your future well-being.

Tolerance and patience with each other are another important characteristics of long-lasting friendship. Accepting the differences, friends should be able to be with each other in all situations. As a friend, the person should lead the other to success by being a motivation and criticize the person if they choose the wrong path.

Friendship will give you sweet and happy memories that can be cherished for a lifetime and if you succeed in maintaining that precious relation, then you are the luckiest person in this world. Love and care for each other will cherish the relationship and helps the person to appreciate each thing done without any fail.

Of all the different relations which we indulge in, friendship is considered to be the purest of them all. Friendship is the true confluence of souls with like minded attitude that aids in seamless conversation and the best of times. It is believed that a person who doesn’t have any friend lives one of the toughest lives.

The Desire to Belong:

Each one of us have been so programmed that we need a companion even if it’s not romantic, someone just to tag along. There are several definitions of friendship and it is upon you as to how you believe your relation to be. Friendship can happen when you are simply sharing a bowl of food with a person day after day. It can be expressed in the way you silently care for someone even when they may not be aware of your existence.

The Little Moments that Matter:

It is giving up the little things you love dearly for the sake of someone you cherish a great deal. Friendship often refers to the little moments of senseless laugh you two share when the rest of the world starts to look bleak. It is to know what your friend needs and being there for them even when the rest of the world has turned their back towards them.

Friendship is the kind of relation which sometimes even exceeds the realms of love because it is all about giving without even once bothering to sense what you shall get back. Every time spent is special because when you are with friends, you don’t feel the blues!

The Bottom-Line:

Of course the definition of friendship is going to vary a great deal from one person to another. But, remember one thing, when you are friends with someone, be prepared to put your heart on the line for their happiness because friendship often manifests into love, even if it is not romantic, it always is true!

Friendship is the most valuable as well as precious gifts of life. Friendship is one of the most valued relationship. People who have good friends enjoy the most in their live. True friendship is based on loyalty & support. A good friend is a person who will stand with you when times are tough. A friend is someone special on whom you can rely on to celebrate a special moment. Friendship is like a life asset and it can lead us to success. It all depends on our choice how we choose our friends.

The quality of friendship is essential for happiness. The benefits of healthy friendship remains long-life. In addition, having a strong friend circle also improves our self-confidence. Due to the strong relationship, we get much emotional support during our bad times. True friendship is a feeling of love & care.

Real friendship cannot be built within limited boundaries like caste or creed. It gives us a feeling that someone really needs us & we are not alone. This is true that man cannot live alone. True friends are needed in every stage of life to survive. A true friend can be an old person or a child. But it is generally believed that we make friend with people who are of the same age as ours. Same age group can give you the freedom to share anything.

The selection of a true friend is also a challenging task. We have to carefully make our friend selection. Friends might come & go. They will make you laugh & cry. Wrong selection can create various problems for you. In the modern world, many youngsters become a social nuisance. The reason behind it is wrong & bad friendships.

But if we successfully choose the right person as a friend then our life becomes easier. It doesn’t matter who you are, what type of clothes you wear. The most important thing is trust because the relation of friendship stands on the pillars of trust.

Friendship is a relation which can make or break us in every stage of life. But in other words, friendship is an asset which is really precious. Obviously, it is also not so easy to maintain friendships. It demands your time as well as efforts. Last but not the least, it is hard to find true friendship but once you succeed in this task you will have a wonderful time. In exchange for that a friend will only need your valuable time and trust.

The idea of friendship is either heartwarming or gives cold feet depending on individuals and the types of friendships. In the current world, friendships have had different definitions based on the morality and civilization of the society. Ideally, friendship is defined as the state of mutual trust between individuals or parties. Trust is an important component of friendship because it determines the reliability and longevity of the friendship. Trust is built through honest communications between the individuals and interested parties.

Once trust has been established, mutual understanding and support being to form the resulting in a friendship. This friendship can be broken through lack of trust. Trust can be breached through deceit and/ or some people, it differs with the frequencies. There are people who will break friendships after only one episode of dishonesty whereas some people give second chances and even more chances. Friendship types determine the longevity and the causes of breakups. The importance of friendship in the lives of individuals is the reason why friendships are formed in the first place.

Types of Friendships:

According to Aristotle’s Nichomachean ethics, there are three types of friendships. The friendships are based on three factors i.e. utility, pleasure and goodness. The first type of friendship is based on utility and has been described as a friendship whereby both parties gain from each other.

This type of friendship is dependent on the benefits and that is what keeps the friendship going. This type of friendships do not last long because it dissolves as soon as the benefits are outsourced or when other sources are found outside the friendship. The friendship was invented for trade purposes because when two people with opposite things that depend on each other re put together, trade is maximized.

The second type of friendship is based on pleasure. This is described as friendship in which two individuals are drawn to each other based on desires of pleasure and is characterized by passionate feelings and feelings of belonging. This type of friendship can ether last long or is short-lived depending on the presence of the attraction between the two parties.

The third type of friendship is based on goodness. In this friendship, the goodness of people draw them to each other and they usually have the same virtues. The friendship involves loving each other and expecting goodness. It takes long to develop this kind of friendship but it usually lasts longest and is actually the best kind of friendship to be in. the importance of such a friendship is the social support and love.

In conclusion, friendships are important in the lives of individuals. Trust builds and sustains friendships. The different types of friendships are important because they provide benefits and social support. Friendships provide a feeling of belonging and dependence. The durability of friendships is dependent on the basis of its formation and the intention during the formation. Friendships that last long are not based on materialistic gain, instead, they are based on pure emotion.

Friendship is an emotion of care, mutual trust, and fondness among two persons. A friend might be a work-mate, buddy, fellow student or any individual with whom we feel an attachment.

In friendship, people have a mutual exchange of sentiments and faith too. Usually, the friendship nurtures more amongst those people who belong to a similar age as they possess the same passions, interests, sentiments, and opinions. During the school days, kids who belong to the similar age group have a common dream about their future and this makes them all of them get closer in friendship.

In the same way, employees working in business organizations also make friends as they are working together for attaining the organizational objectives. It does not matter that to which age group you belong, friendship can happen at any time of your life.

Benefits of Friendship:

Sometimes friendship is essential in our life. Below are a few benefits of friendship.

1. It’s impossible to live your life alone always but friendship fills that gap quickly with the friend’s company.

2. You can easily pass the rigidities of life with the friendship as in your distress period your friends are always there to help you.

3. Friendship teaches you how to remain happy in life.

4. In case of any confusion or problem, your friendship will always benefit you with good opinions.

True and Dishonest Friendship:

True friendship is very rare in today’s times. There are so many persons who support only those people who are in power so that they can fulfil their selfish motives below the name of friendship. They stay with friends till the time their selfish requirements are achieved. Dishonest friends leave people as soon as their power gets vanished. You can find these types of self-seeking friends all around the world who are quite hurtful than enemies.

Finding a true friendship is very difficult. A true friend helps the other friend who is in need. It does not matter to him that his friend is right or wrong but he will always support his friend at the time of his difficulty.

Carefulness in the Selection of Friendship:

You must be very careful while choosing friends. You should nurture your friendship with that person who does not leave you in your bad times easily. Once you get emotionally attached to the wrong person you cannot finish your friendship so soon. True friendship continues till the time of your last breaths and does not change with the passing time.

Friendship with a bad person also affects your own thoughts and habits. Therefore, a bad person should not be chosen in any type of circumstances. We must do friendship with full attention and carefulness.

Best Qualities of Good Friendship:

Good friendship provides people an enormous love to each other.

The below are the important qualities of good friendship:

1. Good friendship is always faithful, honest, and truthful.

2. People pay attention and take note of others thoughts in good friendship.

3. Persons quickly forget and let off the mistakes of the other friend. In fact, they accept their friend in the way they are actually.

4. You are not judged on the basis of your success, money or power in it.

5. Friends do not feel shy to provide us with valuable opinions for our welfare.

6. People always share their joyful times with their good friends and also stay ready to help their friends in the time of need.

7. True friends also support others in their professional as well as personal life. They encourage their friends in the area of their interest.

Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of mutual benefit. True Friendship is a support and a blessing for everybody. All those males and females who have true and genuine friends are very lucky really.

Friendship can simply be defined as a form of mutual relationship or understanding between two people or more who interact and are attached to one another in a manner that is friendly. A friendship is a serious relationship of devotion between two or more people where people involved have a true and sincere feeling of affection, care and love towards each other devoid of any misunderstanding and without demands.

Primarily friendship happens between people that have the same sentiments, feelings and tastes. It is believed that there is no limit or criteria for friendship. All of the different creed, religion, caste, position, sex and age do not matter when it comes to friendship even though friendships can sometimes be damaged by economic disparity and other forms of differentiation. From all of these, it can be concluded that real and true friendship is very possible between people that have a uniform status and are like-minded.

A lot of friends we have in the world today only remain together in times of prosperity and absence of problems but only the faithful, sincere and true friends remain all through the troubles, times of hardships and our bad times. We only discover who our bad and good friends are in the times where we don’t have things going our way.

Most people want to be friends with people with money and we can’t really know if our friends are true when we have money and do not need their help, we only discover our true friends when we need their help in terms of money or any other form of support. A lot of friendships have been jeopardised because of money and the absence or presence of it.

Sometimes, we might face difficulty or crises in our friendships because of self-respect and ego. Friendships can be affected by us or others and we need to try to strike a balance in our friendships. For our friendship to prosper and be true, we need satisfaction, proper understanding and a trustworthy nature. As true friends, we should never exploit our friends but instead do our utmost best to motivate and support them in doing and attaining the very best things in life.

The true meaning of friendship is sometimes lost because of encounters with fake friends who have used and exploited us for their own personal benefits. People like this tend to end the friendship once they get what they want or stab their supposed friends in the back just to get what they think is best for them. Friendship is a very good thing that can help meet our need for companionship and other emotional needs.

In the world we live in today, it is extremely difficult to come across good and loyal friends and this daunting task isn’t made any easier by the lie and deceit of a lot of people in this generation. So, when one finds a very good and loyal important, it is like finding gold and one should do everything to keep friends like that.

The pursuit of true friendship Is not limited to humans, we can as well find good friends in animals; for example, it is a popular belief that dogs make the best friends. It is very important to have good friends as they help us in times and situations where we are down and facing difficulties. Our true friends always do their best to save us when we are in danger and also provide us with timely and good advice. True friends are priceless assets in our lives, they share our pains and sorrow, help provide relief to us in terrible situations and do their best to make us happy.

Friends can both be the good or the bad types. Good friends help push us on the right path in life while on the other hand, bad friends don’t care about us but only care about themselves and can lead us into the wrong path; because of this, we have to be absolutely careful when choosing our friends in this life.

Bad friends can ruin our lives completely so we have to be weary of them and do our best to avoid bag friends totally. We need friends in our life that will be there for us at every point in time and will share all of our feeling with us, both the good and bad. We need friends we can talk to anytime we are feeling lonely, friends that will make us laugh and smile anytime we are feeling sad.

What is friendship? It is the purest form of relationship between two individual with no hidden agenda. As per the dictionary, it is the mutual affection between people. But, is it just a mutual affection? Not always, as in the case of best friends, it is far beyond that. Great friends share each other’s feelings or notions which bring a feeling of prosperity and mental fulfillment.

A friend is a person whom one can know deeply, as and trust for eternity. Rather than having some likeness in the idea of two people associated with the friendship, they have some extraordinary qualities yet they want to be with each other without changing their uniqueness. By and large, friends spur each other without censuring, however at times great friends scrutinize do affect you in a positive manner.

Importance of Friendship:

It is very important to have a friend in life. Each friend is vital and their significance in known to us when certain circumstances emerge which must be supported by our friends. One can never feel lonely in this world on the off chance that he or she is embraced by true friends. Then again, depression wins in the lives of the individuals who don’t have friends regardless of billions of individuals present on the planet. Friends are particularly vital amid times of emergency and hardships. On the off chance that you wind up experiencing a hard time, having a friend to help you through can make the change simpler.

Having friends you can depend on can help your confidence. Then again, an absence of friends can make you feel lonely and without help, which makes you powerless for different issues, for example, sadness and drug abuse. Having no less than one individual you can depend on will formulate your confidence.

Choosing Your Friends Wisely:

Not all friends can instill the positivity in your life. There can be negative effects as well. It is very important to choose your friends with utmost wisdom. Picking the right friend is somewhat troublesome task however it is extremely important. In the event that for instance a couple of our dear friends are engaged with negative behaviour patterns, for example, smoking, drinking and taking drugs, at some point or another we will be attracted to their bad habits as well. This is the reason behind why it is appropriate to settle on an appropriate decision with regards to making friends.

Genuine friendship is truly a gift delighted in by a couple. The individuals who have it ought to express gratitude toward God for having genuine pearls in their lives and the individuals who don’t have a couple of good friends ought to always take a stab at better approaches to anchor great friends. No organization is superior to having a friend close by in the midst of need. You will stay cheerful in your one-room flat on the off chance that you are surrounded by your friends; then again, you can’t discover satisfaction even in your estate in the event that you are far away from others.

Types of Friends:

There is variety everywhere, so why not in friends. We can see different types of friends during our journey of life. For instance, your best friend at school is someone with whom you just get along the most. That friend, especially in the case of girls, may just get annoyed even if you talk to another of your friend more than her. Such is the childish nature of such friendships that at times it is difficult for others to identify whether you are best friends or competitors.

Then there is another category of your siblings. No matter how much you deny, but your siblings or your elder brother and sisters are those friends of yours who stay on with you for your entire life. You have a different set of friendship with them as you find yourself fighting with them most of the times. However, in times of need, you shall see that they are first ones standing behind you, supporting you.

There is another category of friends called professional friends. You come across such friends only when you grow up and choose a profession for yourself. These friends are usually from the same organisation and prove to be helpful during your settling years. Some of them tend to stay on with you even when you change companies.

Friendship Examples from History:

History has always taught us a lot. Examples of true friendship are not far behind. We have some famous example from history which makes us realise the true value of friendship. The topmost of them are the Krishna and Sudama friendship. We all must have read or heard as to how after becoming a king when Krishna met Sudama, his childhood friend, he treated him with honour even though Sudama was a poor person. It teaches us the friendship need not be between equals. It has to be between likeminded people. Next example is of Karna and Duryodhana, again from the Mahabharat era.

Despite knowing the fact that the Pandavas were his brothers, Karna went on to fight alongside Duryodhan as he is his best friend and even laid down his life for him. What more example of true friendship can one find? Again from the same era, Krishna and Arjun are also referred to as the best of the friends. Bhagavad Gita is an example of how a true friend can guide you towards positivity in life and make you follow the path of Dharma. Similarly, there are numerous examples from history which teach us the values of true friendship and the need to nourish such for own good.

Whether you accept or deny it, a friend plays an important role in your life. In fact, it is very important to have a friend. However, at the same time, it is extremely important to choose the friends wisely as they are the ones who can build you or destroy you. Nonetheless, a friend’s company is something which one enjoys all through life and friends should be treated as the best treasure a man can have.

Friendship , Relationship

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Describe a Disagreement You Had With A Friend – IELTS Cue Card Sample Answers

Updated On Mar 22, 2023

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This article contains the Describe a disagreement you had with a friend Cue Card Sample Answers.

During Part 2 of the IELTS Speaking test, you will have exactly one minute to prepare and speak on a specific topic. This is the IELTS cue card task. You can learn how to communicate clearly and successfully by reviewing sample answers.

This IELTS cue card gives you an opportunity to share one of your memories of a disagreement you had with a friend.

Practise IELTS Speaking Part 2 by referencing the Cue Card Sample Answers below.

Before you start, learn useful IELTS Speaking test vocabulary with the guide below!

Check more Time – Cue Cards .

For more Cue Cards, take a look at IELTS Speaking Part 2 | Topics, Questions and Samples Answers .

Describe an experience you had as a member of a team

You should say:

• where it was
• who were the members of the team
• what you did together in this team
• and explain why you became a member of this team or explain what the purpose of the team was

Describe a time that you and your friend had a disagreement.

• who you disagreed with
• what the disagreement was
• how it happened and explain
• how this disagreement was resolved

Sample Answer 1

If you have ever had the chance of working in a team to make a decision , you would know how difficult it was to make sure everyone was pulling together. Running a stimulative company was not as easy as we thought. A wrong decision on pricing would significantly affect our profit. 3 of us fought for days on pricing decisions. My friends wanted our products to be sold at a premium while I preferred a medium price , targeting the mid-end market. After carefully reviewing the market itself as well as material prices, we weighed the costs and benefits of each price to come up with a final selling price. – From this experience , I learned that it was hard to persuade people with your subjective reasons. However , if your decision is backed up by sound numbers , it will be more convincing.

Sample Answer 2

Click on the audio to listen to the sample answer below. Pay attention to the intonation and pronunciation of the words.

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Today, I’m going to share with you the experience I had as a member of a team /of the time when I disagreed with my friend.  As a student , I have to work on a variety of teamwork projects. As a result, having  disagreements with other team members is bound to happen.

We were supposed to gather a team of 3-4 people to work on a simulation project in our management class. The simulation worked like this: each group in our class would run a shoe production company on the internet . We had to make decisions as the  simulation market changed and each group’s performance would be compared weekly . At the end of the semester, we would have to prepare a presentation on our simulation project. – We decided to meet each other once a week to work on the project; sometimes we would discuss urgent matters over e-mails. Despite the fact that we were at daggers drawn many times, we successfully led our company to the 2 nd place overall in our class, so that was not a bad effort .

• S imulation: [noun] a project in which a situation is created, but is not real. However, the conditions are similar to those that we could expect in real life. Eg: In class, we studied a simulation on the computer of how dinosaurs used to live.
• B e at daggers drawn : [expression] a dagger is a weapon, like a knife, and if people are at daggers drawn, they are very angry with each other. Eg: In the debate, the candidates for President were at daggers drawn over the question of economic policy.
• P ull together: [phrasal verb] to work together with other people in an organised way and without conflict. Eg: If we all pull together, we will finish the work on time.
• P ricing: [noun] the act of deciding how much something should cost. Eg: The pricing policy of the supermarket was to offer a discount if you buy something in a large quantity.
• A t a premium: [expression] if we talk of a premium price, we mean a price that is higher than usual. Eg: Shares in the company are selling at a premium because everyone thinks that the company will be very successful this year.
• M id-end: [ adjective] I wanted to reach customers who wanted shoes of medium price and quality. Eg: Although the sales of expensive luxury cars and also cheap second-hand cars were falling, sales aimed at the mid-end market remained stable.
• C ome up with: [phrasal verb] to find or produce an answer to a problem. Eg: The government has come up with a plan to reduce pollution in the city.
• S ubjective: [ adjective] based on your own ideas and opinions, not on facts. Eg: Court decisions are based on evidence, not on the subjective opinion of the judge.
• B ack up: [phrasal verb] to support. Eg: His job application was backed up by a good reference from his previous employer.
• S ound numbers: [expression] reliable. Eg: The sound numbers published by the government encouraged more people to invest in the country.

Related Cue Cards

• A TV Program that Made You Laugh
• A Goal that You Have
• Describe an Advertisement which you found very persuasive
• A Time You Used Your Imagination

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Soon after graduating with a Master’s in Literature from Southern Arkansas University, she joined an institute as an English language trainer. She has had innumerous student interactions and has produced a couple of research papers on English language teaching. She soon found that non-native speakers struggled to meet the English language requirements set by foreign universities. It was when she decided to jump ship into IELTS training. From then on, she has been mentoring IELTS aspirants. She joined IELTSMaterial about a year ago, and her contributions have been exceptional. Her essay ideas and vocabulary have taken many students to a band 9.

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Beyond Intractability

The Hyper-Polarization Challenge to the Conflict Resolution Field: A Joint BI/CRQ Discussion BI and the Conflict Resolution Quarterly invite you to participate in an online exploration of what those with conflict and peacebuilding expertise can do to help defend liberal democracies and encourage them live up to their ideals.

Follow BI and the Hyper-Polarization Discussion on BI's New Substack Newsletter .

Hyper-Polarization, COVID, Racism, and the Constructive Conflict Initiative Read about (and contribute to) the  Constructive Conflict Initiative  and its associated Blog —our effort to assemble what we collectively know about how to move beyond our hyperpolarized politics and start solving society's problems. 

By Heidi Burgess

Original Publication September 2003, updated June 2013. Current Implications added by Heidi Burgess in August, 2017.

Current Implications

This article talks about misunderstandings between different cultures...particularly highlighting high-context cultures with low-context cultures. We are now seeing in the United States, how there can be cultural misunderstandings between groups that appear on the surface to be quite similar. More...

Social conflicts often involve some misunderstanding. Parties in conflict communicate by what they say (or do not say) and how they behave toward each other. Even normal interaction may involve faulty communication, but conflict seems to worsen the problem. When two people are in conflict, they often make negative assumptions about "the other." Consequently, a statement that might have seemed innocuous when two parties were friends might seem hostile or threatening when the same parties are in conflict.

Sources of Misunderstanding

All communication has two parts: a sender and a receiver. The sender has a message he or she intends to transmit, and s/he puts it in words, which, to her/him, best reflect what s/he is thinking. But many things can intervene to prevent the intended message from being received accurately.

If the communication is verbal, tone of voice can influence interpretation. The boss's words, "Hey, I noticed you were taking an especially long break this morning," could be interpreted as an attack if she or he said that in a disapproving tone, while the comment might be seen as a minor reminder about office rules if it was said in a friendly way. If the employee has a health problem that sometimes requires long breaks, the comment might have even been a friendly inquiry about what was happening and whether the employee needed any help. Here, tone of voice as well as situational and relationship factors would influence the interpretation of the message.

Nonverbal cues also are important. Is the sender's posture open and friendly, or closed and cold? Is her facial expression friendly or accusatory? All of these factors influence how the same words will be received.

In addition to how the message is sent, many additional factors determine how the receiver interprets the message. All new information we learn is compared with the knowledge we already have. If it confirms what we already know, we will likely receive the new information accurately, though we may pay little attention to it. If it calls into question our previous assumptions or interpretation of the situation, we may distort it in our minds so that it is made to fit our world view, or we may dismiss the information as deceptive, misguided, or simply wrong.

If the message is ambiguous, the receiver is especially likely to clarify it for him or herself in a way which corresponds with his or her expectations. For example, if two people are involved in an escalated conflict, and they each assume that the other is going to be aggressive and hostile, then any ambiguous message will be interpreted as aggressive and hostile, even if it was not intended to be that way at all. Our expectations work as blinders or filters that distort what we see so that it fits our preconceived images of the world. (Conflict theorists call these filters "frames." See the essay on Frames, Framing, and Reframing for more information.)

An analogy can be made to an experiment that tested people's interpretation of visual cues. When people were given eyeglasses that turned the world upside-down, they had to suffer through with upside-down images for a week or two. After that, their brains learned to reverse the images, so they were seeing things right-side up again. The same thing happens when we hear something we "know" is wrong. Our brains "fix" it so that it appears as we expect it to.

Cultural differences increase the likelihood of misunderstanding as well. If people speak different languages, the danger of bad translation is obvious. But even if people speak the same language, they may communicate in different ways.

Common differences are between high-context and low-context communication . Low-context communication stands on its own; it does not require context or interpretation to give it meaning. High-context communication is more ambiguous. It requires background knowledge and understanding (context), in addition to the words themselves, for communication. While everyone uses both kinds of communication, Western cultures tend to use low-context communication more often, while Eastern and Latin American and African cultures tend to use high-context communication. If such differences are not understood and adjusted for, misunderstanding is almost inevitable.[1]

Culture also affects communication by influencing the recipients' assumptions. As described above, our minds try to twist incoming information to make it fit in our worldview . Since different cultures have very different worldviews, cross-cultural communication is especially likely to change meaning between sender and receiver, as the sender may have a very different worldview from the receiver.

Given our tendency to hear what we expect to hear, it is very easy for people in conflict to misunderstand each other. Communication is already likely to be strained, and people will often want to hide the truth to some extent. Thus the potential for misperception and misunderstanding is high, which can make conflict management or resolution more difficult.

How to Avoid Misunderstanding

In conflict situations, avoiding misunderstanding takes a lot of effort. Roger Fisher and William Ury list four skills that can improve communication in conflict situations.

• The first is active listening . The goal of active listening, they say, is to understand your opponent as well as you understand yourself. Pay close attention to what the other side is saying. Ask the opponent to clarify or repeat anything that is unclear or seems unreasonable (maybe it isn't, but you are interpreting it wrong). Attempt to repeat their case, as they have presented it, back to them. This shows that you are listening (which suggests that you care what they have to say) and that you understand what they have said. It does not indicate that you agree with what they said, nor do you have to. You just need to indicate that you do understand them. [2]
• Fisher and Ury's second rule is to speak directly to your opponent. This is not considered appropriate in some cultures, but when permitted, it helps to increase understanding. Avoid being distracted by others, or by other things going on in the same room. Focus on what you have to say, and on saying it in a way that your opponent can understand.
• Their third rule is to speak about yourself, not about your opponent. Describe your own feelings and perceptions, rather than focusing on your opponent's motives, misdeeds, or failings. By saying, "I felt let down," rather than "You broke your promise," you will convey the same information, in a way that does not provoke a defensive or hostile reaction from your opponent. This is often referred to as using " I-statements " or "I-messages," rather than "you-messages." You-messages suggest blame, and encourage the recipient to deny wrongdoing or to blame in return. I-messages simply state a problem, without blaming someone for it. This makes it easier for the other side to help solve the problem, without having to admit they were wrong.
• Fisher and Ury's fourth rule is "speak for a purpose." Too much communication can be counterproductive, they warn. Before you make a significant statement, pause and consider what you want to communicate, why you want to communicate that, and how you can do it in the clearest possible way.

Other rules might be added to these four. One is to avoid inflammatory language much as possible. Inflammatory language just increases hostility and defensiveness; it seldom convinces people that the speaker is right. (Actually, it usually does just the opposite.) Although inflammatory remarks can arouse people's interest in a conflict and generate support for one's own side, that support often comes at the cost of general conflict escalation . Making one's point effectively without inflammatory statements is a better option.

Likewise, all opponents should be treated with respect. It doesn't help a conflict situation to treat people disrespectfully; it just makes them angry and less likely to listen to you, understand you, or do what you want. No matter what you think of another person, if they are treated with respect and dignity -- even if you think they do not deserve it -- communication will be much more successful, and the conflict will be more easily managed or resolved. Engaging in deep conversations (through problem-solving workshops or dialogues ) can also reduce misunderstanding by improving relationships , by providing more context to communication, and by breaking down stereotypes that contribute to negative characterizations or worldviews. The more effort one makes to understand the person sending the message, the more likely the message will be understood correctly.

This article talks about misunderstandings between different cultures...particularly highlighting high-context cultures with low-context cultures. We are now seeing in the United States, how there can be cultural misunderstandings between groups that appear on the surface to be quite similar. Republicans and Democrats in the U.S. are mostly all low-context communicators, yet they seem to be almost completely talking past each other. Each sees the world in fundamentally different ways--their interests are different, their understanding of facts is different, their reasons for advocating various policies are different.

Certainly some of this difference is the result of media manipulation, which spawns not only misunderstanding, but distrust and even hatred as a result of propaganda. Extreme stereotyping of "the other," also prevents effective cross-group communication, so when communication between groups occurs (which is becoming increasingly rare as we self-segregate into different parts of the country), the messages are very likely to be misinterpreted.

Much needs to be done to get the right and the left talking at all. But once they start, mediators or facilitators are going to be needed to try to reduce misunderstandings and build a groundwork for coexistence and tolerance.

This is one area where every individual can make a difference. When we talk to our family members who have different belief systems, for example, take care to use good conflict communication skills (see particularly the articles on empathic listening and I-messages) among others, instead of escalatory communication. This grave conflict within the United States is only going to be defused (if it is), one conversation at a time--and it is incumbent upon all of us to start having those disarming, de-escalatory conversations.

Heidi Burgess, August, 2017.

Back to Essay Top

[2] Edward T. Hall,  Beyond Culture . (New York: Anchor/Doubleday, 1971)

[2] We have more detail on active listening on this website in an article called empathic listening --because the author argued that empathy and listening were too closely linked to write two different articles--so he combined them into one.  

Use the following to cite this article: Burgess, Heidi. "Misunderstandings." Beyond Intractability . Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: September 2003 < http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/misunderstandings >.

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The intractable conflict challenge.

Our inability to constructively handle intractable conflict is the most serious, and the most neglected, problem facing humanity. Solving today's tough problems depends upon finding better ways of dealing with these conflicts.   More...

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• Lorelei Kelly on Strengthening Democracy at the Top and the Bottom -- Lorelei Kelly describes the work of the bipartisan Select Committee on the Modernization of Congress which passed 202 recommendations, many unanimously. Over 1/2 have been implemented and most others are in progress.
• Massively Parallel Peace and Democracy Building Links for the Week of March 24, 2024 -- A rename of our regular "colleague and context links" to highlight how these readings and the activities they describe all fit within our "massively parallel" peace and democracy building framework--or show why it is needed.

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Disclaimer: All opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of Beyond Intractability, the Conflict Information Consortium, or the University of Colorado.

Beyond Intractability Essay Copyright © 2003-2017 The Beyond Intractability Project, The Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado; All rights reserved. Content may not be reproduced without prior written permission. All Creative Commons (CC) Graphics used on this site are covered by the applicable license (which is cited) and any associated "share alike" provisions.

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Time in Tbilisi: April 28, 2024 03:35

Georgian ruling party head hopes for “less misunderstanding” with “strategic partners, friends” on transparency bill

Garibashvili highlighted the necessity to continue the dialogue and communication with the country’s partners to “convince American and European friends” that by adopting the transparency bill, “Georgia is not deviating from the European integration path”. Photo via Government Administration

Irakli Garibashvili, the Chair of the Georgian Dream party, on Saturday said he hoped to have “less misunderstanding” with the country’s “strategic partners and friends” on the controversial domestic bill on transparency of foreign influence.

Garibashvil’s remarks followed a letter, sent by the bipartisan group of the United States senators to Georgian Prime Minister Irakli Kobakhidze on Friday stating that the adoption of the controversial domestic bill on transparency of foreign influence would force the US to encourage changes in US policy toward Georgia, which could include sanctions against individuals responsible for hindering Georgia's democratic development or limiting its Euro-Atlantic development trajectory.

If there is any ambiguity, any misunderstanding, these questions should be discussed behind closed doors”, the GD Chair noted in his comments to the media.

“I have said many times, we highly value the relationship we have with our main strategic partner - the US, [but] at the same time, our country is still facing big challenges, unfortunately. The main challenge is [Russian] occupation”, he added.

Garibashvili highlighted the necessity to continue the dialogue and communication with the country’s partners to “convince American and European friends” that by adopting the transparency bill, “Georgia is not deviating from the European integration path”.

He called the statements about the Georgian Government’s alleged “intentions to change” the foreign policy course “baseless”, and noted the country’s European aspirations were “guaranteed by the Constitution”.

The transparency bill, which calls for the registration of non-commercial legal entities and media outlets in the country as “pursuing the interests of a foreign power” if they derive more than 20 percent of their funding from abroad, has sparked public protests and criticism from some of Georgia’s international partners.

Georgian Parliament Speaker Shalva Papuashvili on Saturday called a letter, sent by the bipartisan group of the United States senators to Georgian Prime Minister Irakli Kobakhidze on Friday stating the controversial domestic bill on transparency of foreign influence undermined the country’s relations with the US, “somewhat surprising and disappointing”.

Katarína Roth Neveďalová, a member of the European Parliament, on Saturday said Georgia, as “an important partner of the European Union”, had the right to adopt any law it deemed necessary, in her comments over the resolution adopted on Thursday by the EP against the Georgian bill on transparency of foreign influence.

Maka Botchorishvili, the Chair of the European Integration Committee of the Georgian Parliament, on Friday said there was “no reason to panic” about the European Union activating the suspension mechanism of its visa liberalisation with Georgia.

Georgian Parliament Speaker Shalva Papuashvili on Friday said the resolution adopted on Thursday by the European Parliament against the domestic bill on transparency of foreign influence “damages the reputation” of the European Union.

Sophia Bush comes out as queer, confirms relationship with Ashlyn Harris

Actor Sophia Bush came out as queer in an emotional essay in Glamour and confirmed she’s in a relationship with retired U.S. Women’s National Team soccer player Ashlyn Harris. 

“I sort of hate the notion of having to come out in 2024,” Bush wrote in a cover story for the fashion magazine published Thursday. “But I’m deeply aware that we are having this conversation in a year when we’re seeing the most aggressive attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community in modern history.” 

Bush noted that there were more than 500 anti-LGBTQ bills proposed in state legislatures last year and said this motivated her to “give the act of coming out the respect and honor it deserves.” 

“I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home,” she wrote. “I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer . I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.”

The “One Tree Hill” star filed for divorce from entrepreneur Grant Hughes in August. People magazine first reported in October that Bush and Harris were dating, but neither confirmed nor commented on the report. The pair later attended an Oscar’s viewing party together in March . 

In the essay, Bush addressed online rumors that her relationship with Harris began before Harris had officially divorced from fellow soccer star Ali Krieger, in September. 

“Everyone that matters to me knows what’s true and what isn’t,” Bush wrote. “But even still there’s a part of me that’s a ferocious defender, who wants to correct the record piece by piece. But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What’s the f------- point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you. I’ll spend my precious time doing things I love instead.”

Bush said that after news about her and Harris became public, her mom told her that a friend called and said, “Well, this can’t be true. I mean, your daughter isn’t gay .” 

“My mom felt that it was obvious, from the way her friend emphasized the word, that she meant it judgmentally,” Bush wrote. “And you know what my mom said? ‘Oh honey, I think she’s pretty gay. And she’s happy .’”

Bush wrote that she felt like she was wearing a weighted vest that she could finally put down. 

“I finally feel like I can breathe,” Bush wrote. “I turned 41 last summer, amid all of this, and I heard the words I was saying to my best friend as they came out of my mouth. ‘I feel like this is my first birthday,’ I told her. This year was my very first birthday.”

For more from NBC Out, sign up for our weekly newsletter.

Jo Yurcaba is a reporter for NBC Out.

Antony Blinken meets with China’s President Xi as US, China spar over bilateral and global issues

BEIJING (AP) — U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken met Friday with Chinese President Xi Jinping and senior Chinese officials, stressing the importance of “responsibly managing” the differences between the United States and China as the two sides butted heads over a number of contentious bilateral, regional and global issues.

Talks between the two sides have increased in recent months, even as differences have grown. Blinken said he raised concerns with Xi about China’s support for Russia and its invasion of Ukraine, as well as other issues including Taiwan and the South China Sea, human rights and the production and export of synthetic opioid precursors.

Blinken sounded a positive note on recent progress made in bilateral cooperation, including in military communications, counternarcotics and artificial intelligence, on which the two sides agreed to start a dialogue on how to reduce risks from the rapidly emerging technology.

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“We are committed to maintaining and strengthening lines of communication to advance that agenda, and again deal responsibly with our differences so we avoid any miscommunications, any misperceptions, any miscalculations,” he said.

But he stressed that “even as we seek to deepen cooperation, where our interests align, the United States is very clear-eyed about the challenges posed by (China) and about our competing visions for the future. America will always defend our core interests and values.”

Notably, he said he raised ongoing concerns about Beijing’s supply of materials, including machine tools and micro electronics, to Moscow that President Vladimir Putin is using to boost Russia’s defenses and its war on Ukraine.

“Russia would struggle to sustain its assault on Ukraine without China’s support,” Blinken told reporters after his meeting with Xi.

“Fueling Russia’s defense industrial base not only threatens Ukrainian security, it threatens European security,” he added. “As we’ve told China for some time, ensuring transatlantic security is a core U.S. interest. In our discussions today. I made clear that if China does not address this problem, we will.”

Blinken did not elaborate on how the U.S. would address the matter if China did not, but Washington has imposed large numbers of sanctions against Chinese firms for doing business with countries such as Russia, Iran and North Korea.

He said he urged China to use its influence “to discourage Iran and its proxies from expanding the conflict in the Middle East " and convince North Korea “to end its dangerous behavior and engage in dialogue.”

Blinken also discussed with Xi China’s maritime maneuvers in the disputed South China Sea, and reiterated “ironclad” American support for the Philippines, its oldest treaty ally in Asia.

Xi stressed that China and the U.S. must seek common ground “rather than engage in vicious competition.”

“China is happy to see a confident, open, prosperous and thriving United States,” the Chinese leader said. “We hope the U.S. can also look at China’s development in a positive light. This is a fundamental issue that must be addressed.”

Earlier, Blinken held lengthy talks with Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi and Public Security Minister Wang Xiaohong.

He and Wang underscored the importance of keeping lines of communication open as they lamented persistent and deepening divisions that threaten global security. Those divisions were highlighted earlier this week when U.S. President Joe Biden signed a massive foreign aid bill that contains several elements that the Chinese see as problematic.

“Overall, the China-U.S. relationship is beginning to stabilize,” Wang told Blinken at the start of about 5 1/2 hours of talks. “But at the same time, the negative factors in the relationship are still increasing and building and the relationship is facing all kinds of disruptions.”

Wang also outlined, without being specific, well-known Chinese complaints about U.S. policies and positions on the South China Sea, Taiwan, human rights and China’s right to conduct relations with countries it deems fit, saying “China’s legitimate development rights have been unreasonably suppressed.”

“China’s concerns are consistent,” he said. “We have always called for respect of each other’s core interests and urge the United States not to interfere in China’s internal affairs, not to hold China’s development back, and not to step on China’s red lines on China’s sovereignty, security, and development interests.”

Blinken responded by saying that the Biden administration places a premium on U.S.-China dialogue even on issues of dispute. He noted there had been some progress in the past year but suggested that talks would continue to be difficult.

Blinken arrived in China on Wednesday, visiting Shanghai shortly before Biden signed the $95 billion foreign aid package that has several elements likely to anger Beijing, including $8 billion to counter China’s growing aggressiveness toward Taiwan and in the South China Sea. It also seeks to force TikTok’s China-based parent company to sell the social media platform.

China and the United States are the major players in the Indo-Pacific. Washington has become increasingly alarmed by Beijing’s growing aggressiveness in recent years toward Taiwan and its smaller Southeast Asian neighbors with which it has significant territorial and maritime disputes in the South China Sea.

China has railed against U.S. assistance to Taiwan and immediately condemned the aid as a dangerous provocation. It also strongly opposes efforts to force TikTok’s sale, although Blinken said this issue did not come up in his talks on Friday.

The bill also allots $61 billion for Ukraine to defend itself from Russia’s invasion. China’s foreign ministry said the U.S. position on Chinese defense trade with Russia was hypocritical when considered alongside the amount of military assistance Washington is providing to Kyiv.

“It is extremely hypocritical and irresponsible for the U.S. side to introduce a bill for large-scale assistance to Ukraine while making groundless accusations against normal economic and trade exchanges between China and Russia,” said ministry spokesperson Wang Wenbin.

“Shifting the blame to China will not solve the problem, nor will it alleviate the passive situation of the parties involved in the Ukraine crisis,” he said.