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34 Beautifully Romantic French Love Quotes

With its world-famous wine, picturesque countryside, and cobblestone sidewalks, France is the perfect romantic setting. In a setting like this, it makes sense that French writers would frequently get carried away with descriptions of l’amour. French is the language of love, of course. From Antoine De Saint-Exupéry to Victor Hugo, here are 32 of the best French love quotes from French writers, poets, and historical figures.

“Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.”

– Antoine De Saint-Exupéry

Translation: To love is not to look at each other, it is to look together in the same direction.

This quote perfectly expresses the difference between infatuation and love. Love is going forward together through decisions, changes and challenges, not just gazing into eachothers eyes. Antoine De Saint-Exupéry, (1900-1944) is the author of the famous fable Le Petit Prince.

Another beautiful quote from Saint-Exupéry is:

“On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur.”

– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Translation: One sees well with the heart.

While many people may tell you to look at love logically, Antoine De Saint-Exupéry’s message is to go by what your heart tells you. Following your inner self is indeed oftentimes best.

“Il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimé.”

– George Sand

Translation: There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, who went by the pen name George Sand, was a French Novelist, journalist and memorist. She used the pen name George Sand, since male writers were more respected and likely to be published than female writers. In this quote, George Sand states simply the truth that love is what makes life so special. Not only loving but being loved in return is a pure and wonderful happiness that should be cherished.

“C’est cela l’amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans espoir de retour.”

– Albert Camus

Translation: This is love, giving it one’s all, sacrificing everything without hope of it being returned.

Albert Camus, writer of famous novels such as The Stranger , was an absurdist writer and philosopher. Camus was no stranger to love, having multiple wives and mistresses and even gaining a reputation as a womanizer. Even so, this quotation from Camus is a perfect expression of the sacrifice and act of faith love is.

“L’amour est comme le vent, nous ne savons pas d’où il vient.”

– Honoré de Balzac

Translation: Love is like the wind, nobody knows where it comes from.

Honoré de Balzac was a French novelist and playwright born in the city of Tour in 1799. He was known for plays like Le Pere Goriot and publishing short stories under a collection called La Comédie humaine. Balzac exchanged letters with his love, Ewelina Hańska, for 15 years. This famous quote resonates with many who find that love can be unexpected and arrives at strange times, like a sudden gust of wind.

“L’amour est la poésie des sens.”

Translation: Love is poetry of the senses.

Poetry is a beautiful way of describing the feeling of being in love.

Balzac also wrote:

“La passion est toute l’humanité, sans elle, la religion, l’histoire, le roman, l’art seraient inutiles.”

Translation: Passion is in all humanity; without it, religion, history, literature, and art would be rendered useless.

Only a playwright like Honoré de Balzac could make such a dramatic statement. Indeed, it is true that passion and love run the world.

“L’esprit s’enrichit de ce qu’il reçoit, le cœur de ce qu’il donne.”

– Victor Hugo

Translation: The spirit enriches with what it receives, the heart with what it gives.

This beautiful quote was penned by no other than Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo lived from 1802-1885, writing abundantly into the romantic era. He is known for a multitude of works, from Les Miserables to The Hunchback of Notre-Dam. His enchanting views on love still inspire many.

“La vie est une fleur dont l’amour est le miel.”

Translation: Life is a flower and love is the honey.

Hugo was known for his romantic and poetic ideals.

He also was quoted as saying:

“Aimer, c’est vivre; aimer, c’est voir; aimer, c’est être.”

Translation: Love, it is life; love, it is sight; love, is to be.

This simple quote is dear to many; it so elegantly states how love is essential to being.

“Il faut s’aimer, et puis il faut se le dire, et puis il faut se l’écrire, et puis il faut se baiser sur la bouche, sur les yeux et ailleurs.”

Translation: We must love, and tell, and then write each other about it, then we must kiss each other’s mouth, and eyes, and elsewhere.

In this famous quote, Hugo poetically states that we should express our love every chance we get.

“Et c’est parfois dans un regard, dans un sourire que sont cachés les mots qu’on n’a jamais su dire.”

– Yves Duteil

Translation: And it is sometimes in a look or in a smile that hides the words that we never knew how to say.

Yves Duteil, a singer-songwriter from Neuilly-sur-Seine, penned these beautiful lyrics into his famous 1981 love song, “Les Choses qu’on ne dit pas”. 

“Oh ! si tu pouvais lire dans mon coeur, tu verrais la place où je t’ai mise!”

– Gustave Flaubert

Translation: Oh! If you could read my heart, you would see the place that I keep you!

Gustave Flaubert, (1821-1880), was a novelist from Rouen, known for novels like Madame Bovary and for influencing the rise of literary realism in France. This poetic and fascinating line is about thinking of someone fondly, something we can all relate to.

“Entre deux cœurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles.”

– Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Translation: Between two hearts in love, no words are needed.

Marceline Desbordes-Valmore, 1786-1859, was a poet and novelist. She perfectly understood the power and simplicity of love in this quote, where she says that no communication is really needed when two people s’aiment.

“Quand il me prend dans les bras / Il me parle tout bas / Je vois la vie en rose.”

– Edith Piaf (La vie en rose)

Translation: When he holds me in his arms, and speaks to me softly, I see life through rose-colored glasses.

The singer and cabaret performer Ediath Piaf, (1915-1963) sings these heartfelt lyrics in her famous song, La Vie en Rose. A vibrant woman who had been through many love affairs and heartbreaks, she sang from true experience. Indeed, being in love makes everything seem wonderful.

“Quand on est aimé on ne doute de rien. Quand on aime, on doute de tout.”

Translation: Those who are loved, doubt nothing. Those who love, doubt everything

Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette, 1873-1954 was a nobel-peace nominated writer. She was also known as a mime, journalist, and artist. She expresses in this wise quote that being loved feels secure and comfortable while giving love to others can feel risky and uncertain.

“On n’aime que ce qu’on ne possède pas tout entier.”

– Marcel Proust

Translation: We love only what we do not wholly possess

Marcel Proust (1871-1922), penned the major novel, À la recherche du temps perdu. This quote resembles the English expression: you always want what you can’t have.

“La vie est un sommeil, l’amour en est le rêve.”

– Alfred de Musset

Translation: Life is a sleep, and love is a dream.

Alfred de Musset, 1810-1857, was a dramatist known for his poetry, plays, and successful novel La Confession d’un enfant du siècle.

“J’entends ta voix dans tous les bruits du monde.”

– Paul Éluard

Translation: I hear your voice in all the world’s noise.

One of the founders of the surrealist movement in France, this quote perfectly demonstrates Paul Eluard’s, (1895-1952), elegant and heartfelt writing style. 

“Je viens du ciel et les étoiles entre elles ne parlent que de toi.”

– Francis Cabrel

Translation: I come from heaven and the stars, they can’t stop talking about you.

Franci Cabrel voiced these famous lyrics into his song, Petite Marie in 1977. These romantic lyrics show a deep admiration for the subject of his song. 

“Elle avait dans les yeux, la force de son coeur.”

– Charles Baudelaire

Translation: She had in her eyes, the force of her heart.

Charles Baudelaire was a poet and essayist. He was also one of the first translators of Edgar Allen Poe. We can all relate to seeing someone’s emotions just by looking into their eyes.

“Il n’est rien de réel que le rêve et l’amour.”

– Anna de Noailles

Translation: There is nothing real but dreams and love.

Indeed, oftentimes the power of love makes the rest of the world feel pointless. This line was written by Anna de Noailles, (1876-1933), a Romanian-French writer.

“Je t’aime plus qu’hier moins que demain.”

– Rosemonde Gérard

Translation: I have loved you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.

Rosemonde Gérard, (1866-1953), was a poet and playwright. This clever way of hinting that his love was ever increasing is one of his most famous lines.

“Mais ce qu’a lié l’amour même, le temps ne peut le délier.”

– Germain Nouveau

Translation: But what love has bound together, time cannot unbind.

Germain Nouveau, (1851-1920) was a French poet. This hopeful quote suggests that no matter how long two are separated, the love between them can’t be undone. This is a perfect quote to reflect on especially during quarantine, when many people are apart from their loved ones.

“L’amour fait les plus grandes douceurs et les plus sensibles infortunes de la vie”.

– Madeleine de Scudery

Translation: Love makes life’s sweetest pleasures and worst misfortunes.

Madeleine de Scudery, who lived a long one hundred years from 1601-1701, was a French writer known for her unusually extensive knowledge of ancient history. This quote keeps it real by recognizing that love can come with heartbreak. Nonetheless, love is worth the potential pain.

“L’on est bien faible quand on est amoureux.”

– Madame de Lafayette

Translation: One is weak when they are in love.

Madame de Lafayette (1634-1693) was a classic French writer. Lafayette is the author of La Princesse de Clèves, an incredibly significant novel as it was the first historical novel in France and one of the earliest novels in literature.

“Amour veut tout sans nombre, amour n’a point de loi.”

– Pierre de Ronsard

Translation: Love wants everything without condition, love has no law

Pierre de Ronsard (1524-1585), was called the ‘king of poets’ in his time and it’s easy to see why with his words on a lawless romance.

“J’ai souvent souffert, je me suis trompé quelquefois; mais j’ai aimé. C’est moi qui ai vécu, et mon orgueil et mon ennui.”

Translation: I have suffered often, I have sometimes made mistakes, but I loved. It is I who has lived, and not a fictitious being created by my pride and my boredom.

Alfred de Musset, (1810-1856) was a dramatist, poet, and novelist. This is the perfect quote to describe how love is essential to living, and worth any amount of pain it may bring.

“Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point.”

– Blaise Pascal

Translation: The heart has its reasons that reason cannot know.

Blaise Pascal, (1623-1662) was known as a child-prodigy turned French mathematician as well as a philosopher and a writer. Even though math involves reason and logic, he was wise to know that the human heart always has different plans.

“L’amour c’est être stupide ensemble.”

– Paul Valéry

Translation: Love is to be stupid together.

Paul Valéry, (1871-1945) was a french poet and fiction writer. Valéry’s fresh take on love is so relatable.

“L’amour est une tragédie pour ceux qui ressentent et une comédie pour ceux qui pensent.”

Translation: Love is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

The world may not know what to make of the potentially naive decisions you make while you’re in love. In this quote, it’s clear as to why. Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, who went by the pen name, Molière, was a 17th century playwright.

“L’amour est l’emblème de l’éternité, il confond toute la notion de temps, efface toute la mémoire d’un commencement, toute la crainte d’une extrémité.”

– Madame de Staël

Translation: I have loved to the point of madness. That which some call madness, but which to me, is the only way to love.

Madame de Staël, (1634-1693), was a political theorist, intellect, and visionary of her time. Her writing and ideas contributed greatly to French romanticism. She was seen as a moderator during the French Revolution and known as a fervent fighter of Napoleonism in Europe.

She was also quoted as saying:

“L’amour est un égoïsme à deux.”

Translation: Love is a selfishness for two.

In another quote of Staël’s, she perfectly states how indulgent love can feel.

“L’amour est l’emblème de l’éternité. Il brouille toute notion de temps, efface tout souvenir d’un début, annule toute peur d’une fin.”  

Translation: Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notion of time; effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

Madame de Staël’s notion of love as eternal and oftentimes time-stopping is beautiful and inspiring. Even in today’s world, where things go by so fast, it’s worth remembering that love will always keep us tethered to the present moment.

Now that you’ve gotten 34 of the best French love quotes, your head should be filled with romantic ideas and poetic language. These are perfect for unique tattoos, Valentine’s day cards, letters to a loved one, or in a sweet text. Spread the love today and share one of these heartfelt, meaningful French quotes with someone you care about!

Hunter Van Ry

Hunter Van Ry, the owner of Frenchplanations.com, has spent extensive periods of time living in both France and Canada learning and studying the French language. He created Frenchplanations as a way to help others improve their French with easy-to-understand explanations.

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17 Famous French Love Poems That Will Make You Fall in Love

Looking for romantic poems in French to read to your loved one or even read on your own? This post will show you all the best French love poems you’ll enjoy!

France is usually associated with love, especially Paris since it’s known as the City of Love , so trust the French to write great love poems and songs .

Through the years, French poets and artists have explored different themes surrounding the universal language of love through what they know best; words!

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Whether above passion, new love, lost love, or broken love, love in its various forms is described beautifully in each of these 17 best French love poems to fully bring out the true meaning of love.

For the not artistically inclined people, you can dedicate one of these French poems about love to your significant other and impress them or recite them to them in a romantic date setting followed by a dreamy proposal. C’est une super idée, non? (It’s a superb idea, don’t you think?)

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Best French Love Poems

Here are the best French love poems with English translations for your ease, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed putting together this list for you.

1. L’extase d’un baiser by Tristan L’Hermite (1648)

Translation: The ecstasy of a kiss

L’extase d’un baiser is a sonnet by François L’Hermite, who wrote under the pen name, Tristan L’Hermite. This poem was published in his collection called Heroic Verses .

In this romantic French poem, Tristan describes a passionate kiss by someone named Élise that has him awestruck.

He goes on to add the feelings aroused in him because of the kiss. He dramatizes the whole thing by saying that the kiss brought him back from the dead.

But towards the end, he also adds that the same kiss will be the cause of his death.

You can read the complete poem here !

2. Les amoureux by Madeleine de Scudéry (1664)

Translation: The Sweethearts

For a poet and author who was celibate, Madeleine wrote a lot about love and romance.

She was a feminist who held women in high regard and elevated their position in her writings. Just like many of her other poems, Les amoureux is a madrigal dedicated to lovers.

She pens down how opening up to love will make you and your lover, happy. She describes the feelings that go through a person in love by comparing them to water, rose, and wind.

3. Éloge de l’amour by Jean de La Fontaine (1669)

Translation: In Praise of Love

Jean de La Fontaine was known for his fables and less for his poems, but this short love poem in French was one of his better-known ones.

In Éloge de l’amour , Jean raises the status of love to that of a God. She writes of how all the other gods’ powers are less when compared with love.

She goes on to say that without love, things would have no pleasure associated with them.

4. Pour toi ma chérie by Armand Gouffé (1802)

Translation: For you my love

Pour toi ma chérie was written by Armand Gouffé and published in his collection titled Ballon d’essai .

In this French poem about love, Armand, in a typical romantic manner, says he would offer his life for his lover. But he also says that instead of giving his life, he would want to be a better person for her.

He describes how his life and everything in it revolves around her and how nothing would have a purpose without her in his life. Sounds like a pretty smitten Romeo, doesn’t he?

5. L’amour est le miel by Victor Hugo (1832)

Translation: Love is the honey

French writer Victor Hugo is best known for his novels Notre-Dame de Paris and Les Misérables, but he has also written numerous love poems in French.

A play that he wrote called Le roi s’amuse (The King amuses) has this verse called L’amour est le miel in it.

The verse describes how Life is a flower and love is its honey. Although these lines are part of a lengthier poetic verse, they are very romantic and are worth checking out.

6. La sincère by Marceline Desbordes Valmore (1833)

Translation: The sincerity

La sincère by French poet Marceline Desbordes Valmore is a slightly lengthy poem, which she published in her collection titled Les pleurs (the tears).

In the poem, she writes how her heart is for sale, and anyone interested in buying it can, but they have to be sincere.

They should agree to the price she quotes for it and not haggle about it. And if no one is interested in her heart, then it will be God’s.

7. Mon bras pressait ta taille frêle by Victor Hugo (1834)

Translation: My arm clasped your fragile waist

Mon bras pressait ta taille frêle is a short and romantic French poem inspired by the passion Victor had for his mistress, Juliette Drouet.

Their love story was nothing short of a dramatic movie. Victor’s wife left him, he moved away with Juliette, but she briefly left him, too. He then pursued her to get her back, and she ultimately stayed with him till his death.

He describes the love and passion shared by them where they hold back for some time but finally give in to each other. This poem was published in his collection, Les Contemplations , much like the next one on the list.

8. Demain, dès l’aube by Victor Hugo (1856)

Translation: Tomorrow at Dawn

In this short love poem in French, Victor starts it off by talking about the Normandy countryside and how he plans to leave at dawn on a journey not revealed to us until the end.

I will let you read Demain, dès l’aube for yourself to discover its bittersweet nature.

The poem is not centered around lovers but is written for his daughter, Léopoldine whose grave he was planning to visit after her drowning incident that led to her death. It has a deeper meaning which you will understand when you read it a 2 nd time.

The poem was later included in his poem collection Les Contemplations . This is actually one of the famous poems by Victor Hugo .

9. Les roses de Saâdi by Marceline Desbordes-Valmore (1860)

Translation: The Roses of Saadi

Les roses de Saadi is one of the best-known French poems about love by Marceline. In this, the roses are meant as a personification of love.

She claims to have so much love (so many roses) that she could not contain all of it anymore.

Some of the roses then go adrift in the wind, and some are carried out to the sea, possibly implying that her love was not returned and she just lost it.

But, in the end, she says that she has not given up on love through her lines, “my dress is still all fragrant with it”.

She also writes that she keeps the loving memories of past love with her in the lines “Breathe in the fragrant memory of it on me”.

10. Romance by Arthur Rimbaud (1871)

Jean Nicolas Arthur Rimbaud, better known only as Arthur Rimbaud, wrote Romance when he was just 17 years old, which is told to us in the first line of the poem.

The poem is all about how he feels about love but how, at that age, nobody is really serious about love.

He describes the whirlwind of emotions that he goes through when in love and the euphoria of the feeling itself.

Being a teenager, all of this is exciting, but relationships do not last for a very long time at that age.

He starts by describing how he’s tired of the mundane routine. He then continues to explain how falling in love is like a breath of fresh air that dazzles him.

And, by the end of the poem (and possibly a relationship), he drinks to forget all about it.

11. Un basier by Edmond Rostand (1897)

Translation: A kiss

Un basier featured in Edmond Rostand’s most famous work, a play titled Cyrano de Bergerac .

The play is about honor, unrequited love, self-doubt, bravery, and eloquence with Cyrano, a cadet in the French army, in the titular role.

He has a love interest, Roxanne, who he doesn’t pursue because he feels he is too ugly for her (he believed he had a larger-than-normal nose).

This poem is a monologue by Cyrano and describes what a kiss means to him. Cyrano helps his rival gain Roxanne’s love and affection by hiding in the shadows while his rival stands under her balcony and merely repeats the lines written by Cyrano for Roxanne, ultimately letting his rival win a kiss from her.

12. Le Pont Mirabeau by Guillaume Apollinaire (1912)

Translation: The Mirabeau Bridge

Le Pont Mirabeau is one of the poems about France based on the Mirabeau bridge in Paris under which the river Seine flows.

Guillaume wrote this poem after parting ways with his lover, Marie Laurencin, who, people believe, was on the other side of this bridge, so he had to cross it to meet her.

He writes about how time passes and love is lost, but life goes on. The days turn into nights and, much like the river which keeps flowing, time just flows while he waits.

This melancholic poem was considered one of his greatest works, and it was later published in his collection called Alcools .

13. Certitude by Paul Éluard (1951)

Translation: Certainty

This poetic verse called Certitude was extracted from Paul Éluard’s Le Phénix . The poet’s actual name was Eugène Émile Paul Grindel, with Paul Éluard being a pen name he wrote under.

He was known for Surrealism along with fellow poet Louis Aragon (whose poem features next on this list).

He says so much by saying so little. Each of the phrases is short, but they have a deeper meaning.

He describes how each action has a feeling associated with it and how he is certain of those feelings, including, at the end, when he says that in leaving the person, they will meet again.

14. Nous dormirons ensemble by Louis Aragon (1963)

Translation: We Will Sleep Together

The poem title, Nous dormirons ensemble , should give away its risqué nature of it. So subtle! This passionate French love poem by Louis is a tribute to his muse and wife, Elsa Triolet.

It has him penning down his intimate thoughts and feelings. His love for her is so abundant that he wants them to sleep together, wherever it may be, from Sunday to Monday and from morning to night. Basically, 24×7 365 days. Phew! That’s a lot!

Theirs was a great love story, so you won’t be surprised to know that he wrote 2 other poems for her too, Que serais-je sans toi (Who would I be without you) and Aimer à perdre la raison (To love until you lose your mind).

15. Aimons toujours! Aimons encore! by Victor Hugo

Translation: Always love! Let’s love again!

Aimons toujours! Aimons encore is one of the many French love poems by Victor Hugo. In this particular one, he describes how love is a beautiful feeling, comparing it to various things in nature.

It is a slightly lengthy poem but worth reading for a different perspective on love. He encourages everyone to love despite hardships, pain, and suffering.

He tells us how we must believe in love and not let go of the hope associated with it. Ultimately, we will be rewarded with happiness for pulling through.

16. Pour que tu m’aimes encore by Céline Dion (1995)

Translation: So That You’ll Love Me Again

This romantic French poem by popular Canadian singer, Céline Dion, became one of her signature songs.

The poem was then recorded by her and released as part of her studio album, D’eux . The bestselling hit spent weeks in the number one position French charts as well as charts of other Francophone countries. Celine even won multiple awards for this number.

The romantic ballad has Céline singing from a woman’s perspective. She says she anticipated that her lover was about to break up with her, which he does.

He tells her that he wants to move on because he does not feel the same way about her anymore. But she begs him to stay and tells him that she would do anything for him to love her again.

On top of being a poem, it’s one of the most powerful French love songs you ought to listen to!

17. Aimer by Roméo et Juliette (2009)

Translation: To like

Would this list of the best French love poems be complete if I did not include one by a duo called Romeo and Juliet? Certainly not!

Roméo et Juliette were the stage names of Damien Sargue and Cécilia Cara, respectively.

The lyrics of Aimer describe how love is a beautiful feeling that one gets to experience.

They sing about all the emotions associated with love, like how love is like a burning fire, how it gives us the cloud 9 feeling, how it makes time pause, and how it gives meaning to life and makes us feel alive. We couldn’t agree more, could we?

Final Thoughts on the Romantic French Love Poems

Did this list of romantic French poems sweep you off your feet? If you were struggling to find a poem to express your love, I hope that one of these is the perfect love poem for you.

Let me know your thoughts on them and which one was your favorite in the comments below.

If you enjoy reading French poems , you can also check out my article on famous poems about Paris !

NEVER TRAVEL TO PARIS WITHOUT TRAVEL INSURANCE One of the biggest mistakes you’ll ever make when planning a trip to Paris is to forego Travel Insurance ! You might think that it’s expensive, but when you think of how much it will save you when you lose your valuables or even get sick, then you’ll know that it’s NOT that expensive! Unfortunately, things can and do go wrong when you travel. World Nomads offers coverage for more than 150 activities as well as emergency medical, lost luggage, trip cancellation, and more. If you’re considering travel insurance for your trip, check out World Nomads .

Check out these posts to help you plan your trip to Paris

• Famous songs about Paris
• Best French songs you’ll enjoy
• French love songs you should listen to
• Interesting facts about the Louvre musuem
• Fun facts about Paris
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• Interesting jokes about Paris
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• Famous quotes on Paris

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Esther is the face and voice behind Dreams in Paris! She has always been obsessed with Paris even before she moved there. She has lived in Paris for a couple of years, and that obsession has not changed! That love for Paris, plus her passion for writing led to the birth of Dreams in Paris! She now shares all the practical tips and guides she’s picked along the way to help you plan a memorable trip to the city of love! You can learn more about her here !

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4 very romantic French love poems

Ah,  l’amour!  Whether you want to celebrate a new love or a lasting one, there are fortunately lots of ways to do so, very much including reading and sharing a beautiful poem.

Here are four of our favorite classic French love poems and the years they were first published. Each one is followed by an English translation.

Les amoureux (The Sweethearts) by Madeleine de Scudéry (1664)

French poem

English translation.

The water that caresses the shore, The rose that opens itself to the breeze, The wind that laughs beneath the leaves, Everything says that to love is a pleasure.

From two lovers the same flame Knows doubly how to make them happy. Those who are indifferent have but one soul; But when we love, we have two.

Mon bras pressait ta taille frêle… (My arm clasped your fragile waist) by Victor Hugo (1834)

My arm clasped your fragile waist that’s supple as a reed; Your breast beat like the wing Of a young bird.

In a long silence we contemplated The sky where the day was fading away. What was happening in our souls? Love! Love!

Like an angel who reveals herself, You looked at me, in my night, With your beautiful star’s gaze, Blinding me with light.

If you prefer, here’s a slightly more literal translation of this poem .

L’extase d’un baiser (The ecstasy of a kiss) by François Tristan L’Hermite (1648)

At the moment I was dying, you brought me back to life Kiss, whose sentiment touches my heart, Delicious child of the most beautiful mouth That ever pronounced the Oracles of Love.

But all my blood sickens, a burning fever Steals the color from me and takes away my reasoning; Heavens! I took from this beautiful lip at once A celestial nectar and a mortal poison.

Ah! my Soul flies away in this transport of joy! This ticket to salvation sends me to the tomb; It’s done! I cannot go on, Élise I’m dying.

This kiss is a seal by which my life is closed: And just as one can find a serpent beneath the flowers, I’ve found my death on the bud of a rose.

Éloge de l’amour (In Praise of Love) Jean de La Fontaine by (1669)

All the universe obeys love; Beautiful Psyche, submit your soul to him. The other Gods this God do woo, And their power is less sweet than his flame. For young hearts it’s the ultimate good: Love, love, all the rest is nothing.

Without this love, so many beautiful objects, Gilded paneling, wood, gardens, fountains, Have nothing but languishing charms, And their pleasures are less sweet than his sorrows. For young hearts it’s the supreme good: Love, love, all the rest is nothing.

Where can I find more French love poems?

If these poems have left you in the mood for more love, there’s good news: As in most cultures, love poems in French abound. You can find many more of them on sites like Poésie française.fr , É ternels É clairs , and Mon Poème.fr .

If you have a favorite French poet or author, doing an online search for their name plus “poème” or “poème d’amour” could yield some results as well.

Is it easy to read French poetry?

As you might have noticed from the poems here, centuries-old French is surprisingly easy to understand compared to centuries-old English. This is because the Académie Française  has been regulating the French language since 1635, while English has been allowed to run wild and evolve more or less on its own terms.

Both of our languages are rich and have a lot of beauty in them, but the advantage of French over English is that you can read poetry, not to mention plays, nonfiction works, and more, from as far back as the 16 th  or 17 th  centuries with little problem.

Of course, poetry is often at least a little trickier than prose, since it can include unusual word order, complex wordplay, and other poetic devices. So don’t be discouraged if you come upon a French poem that’s difficult. Try to take your time and untangle the line(s) – something a native speaker would have to do, as well.  And if that’s too difficult, you can also see if there is an English translation of the poem online.

Many famous French authors have been translated into English. Poetry in translation loses a lot more than prose in most cases, but at least it can help you get through a particularly difficult passage. And hopefully, as your French skills grow, you can return to the poem and understand it completely in its original version.

Do you have a favorite French love poem – classic or more contemporary? Feel free to share in the comments!

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Alysa Salzberg

Alysa Salzberg is an American writer, worrier, teacher, and cookie enthusiast who has lived in Paris, France, for more than a decade. She has taught English and French for more than ten years, most notably as an assistante de langue vivante for L'Education Nationale. She recently published her first novel, Hearts at Dawn , a "Beauty and the Beast" retelling that takes place during the 1870 Siege of Paris. You can read about her adventures here , or feel free to stop by her website .

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30 Romantic French Quotes About Love (with English Translations)

French is often said to be the language of love . 

So of course there are many beautiful French quotes about love! 

Get romantic with some profound expressions of love through timeless quotes from renowned French thinkers and writers.

From Blaise Pascal’s philosophical musings to the poetic verses of Rosemonde Gérard, each quote offers a uniquely French perspective on the nature of love.

French Quotes About Love

“le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point.” — blaise pascal, “l’amour est comme la fièvre, il naît et s’éteint sans que la volonté y ait la moindre part.” — stendhal, “la mesure de l’amour, c’est d’aimer sans mesure.” — saint augustin, “car, vois-tu, chaque jour je t’aime davantage, aujourd’hui plus qu’hier et bien moins que demain.” — rosemonde gérard, “entre deux cœurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles.” — marceline desbordes-valmore, “oh si tu pouvais lire dans mon coeur, tu verrais la place où je t’ai mise ” — gustave flaubert, “il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimé.” — george sand, “l’amour est comme le vent, nous ne savons pas d’où il vient.” — honoré de balzac, “quand on n’a que l’amour / pour tracer un chemin / et forcer le destin / à chaque carrefour.” — jacques brel, “aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.” — antoine de saint-exupéry, “il n’y a qu’une seule sorte d’amour, mais il y a mille copies différentes.” — françois de la rochefoucauld, “l’amour fait les plus grandes douceurs et les plus sensibles infortunes de la vie.” — madeleine de scudéry , romantic french phrases.

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English translation: The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.

This quote by philosopher Blaise Pascal is often equated to the English phrase “the heart wants what it wants.” Fun fact: While it’s frequently used in connection to relationships and how love is driven by emotions rather than logic, Pascal was actually talking about religion when he penned the quote!

English translation: Love is like fever, it arises and passes away without the will having the slightest part in it.

Marie-Henri Beyle, known by his pseudonym Standhal, wrote this observation in his 1822 piece, “On Love.” Through his writing, he tries to analyze the different types and stages of love, and how it makes us feel. This musing states that we love who we love, and there’s not much we can do about it. 

English translation: The measure of love is to love without measure.

Some types of love are simply without bounds. This quote was said by Augustine of Hippo, also known as Saint Augustine (though I’ve also seen it attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi). Once again, Saint Augustin was talking about religious love here, but the quote is a beautifully poetic way to describe unconditional love of any kind. 

English translation: Because, you see, every day I love you more, today more than yesterday and much less than tomorrow.

This beautiful quote comes from the poet and playwright Louise-Rose-Étiennette Gérard, better known as Rosemonde Gérard. It comes from a poem she wrote to her husband in 1889, expressing her ever-growing love for him. How romantic!

English translation: No words are needed between two hearts in love.

This romantic sentiment by the 18th-century poet and novelist is a reminder that love needs no explanation or words. The adage comes from one of Valmore’s gorgeous poetry, which was born from her quite tumultuous life . 

English translation: Oh, if you could read in my heart, you would see the place I have put you!

Gustave Flaubert was a novelist but this particular quote comes from a love letter he wrote to his beloved Louise Colet in 1846. The rest of the letter is just as heart-wrenchingly beautiful and worth a full read .

English translation: There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.

Don’t let the masculine name fool you: George Sand was a female poet in the 19th century, whose name was actually Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin de Francueil. Sand wrote largely about the love and tranquility of the countryside. This quote from her is such a simple sentiment, but it’s so true!

English translation: Love is like the wind, we never know where it will come from.

This quote from famous French novelist Honoré de Balzac is a reminder that you don’t choose love. At the end of the day, you have no say in who you fall in love with. 

English translation: When you only have love / To forge a path / And force destiny / At every crossroads.

These are some of the lyrics from Jacques Brel’s song, “Quand on n’a que l’amour.” Remember that love can give strength and purpose even in difficult times! Listen to the full song here or play it for your loved one over a romantic dinner.

English translation: To love is not to look at each other, it is to look together in the same direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry is best known for his delightful children’s novel for adults, “The Little Prince,” but this quote comes from a lesser-known work of his, “Wind, Sand and Stars.” It’s less a romantic quote and more of a word of advice, especially for young or new lovers: The most important part of your relationship isn’t gazing lovingly at one another, but working together as a unit. 

English translation: There is only one sort of love, but there are a thousand different copies.

This quote comes from a collection of Maxims by Francois de La Rochefoucauld, a French writer and moralist who lived in the 17th century. Its meaning isn’t as clear-cut as some of the others in this post. You can take it to mean that there’s only one real love, and other loves you feel don’t compare. Or it can mean that love is universal, and it comes in many different forms and types. 

English translation: Love makes life’s sweetest pleasures and worst misfortunes.

We’ve been focusing on the rosy side of love, but as much as love is a wonderful emotion, it’s also a double-edged sword. I can only hope that you never have to experience the misfortune side of love!

The French language is a veritable fountain of romance! The phrases below will help you navigate the most romantic conversations in the language of love:

• Je t’aime. (I love you.)
• Tu es mon amour. (You are my love.)
• Mon cœur bat pour toi. (My heart beats for you.)
• Tu me rends heureux. (You make me happy.)
• Tu es ma joie de vivre. (You are my joy of living.)
• Tu es l’amour de ma vie. (You are the love of my life.)
• Tu es ma moitié. (You are my other half.)
• Tu es mon rêve devenu réalité. (You are my dream come true.)
• Je t’adore. (I adore you.)
• Tu es la lumière de ma vie. (You are the light of my life.)
• Je suis fou de toi. (I’m crazy about you.)
• Tu es tout pour moi. (You are everything to me.)
• J’ai besoin de toi. (I need you.)
• Je te veux près de moi. (I want you close to me.)
• Je suis amoureux de toi. (I am in love with you.)
• Ton sourire me rend heureux. (Your smile makes me happy.)
• Ton amour me fait vibrer. (Your love makes me feel alive.)
• Mon amour pour toi est éternel. (My love for you is eternal.)

And if you need any more ways to express your love, check out this thorough guide to saying “I love you” in French: 

Do you want to know how to say “I love you” in French? There isn’t just one way to say how much you like someone! Read this guide to find out the different ways you can…

Speak the language of love with these timeless French expressions and quotes about love!

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25 Beautiful French Love Quotes (With Translations)

The French know there way around the subject of love. Luckily, we’ve combed through French literature, proverbs and sayings to find the love quotes ever written in french.

This is a curated sub-category. Check out our full collection of love quotes .

Quand il me prend dans les bras, Il me parle tout bas, Je vois la vie en rose. Translation: When he takes me in his arms, and speaks to me softly,I see the world through rose-colored glasses. Édith Piaf

Amour, toux et fumée En ne secret sont demeurée. Translation: Love, cough and smoke do not remain secrets. French Proverb

Il n’est rien de réel que le rêve et l’amour. Translation: Nothing is real but dreams and love. Anna de Noailles

Que bien aime, tard oublie. Idiomatic translation. Translation: True love never grows old. Strauss

On ne peut désirer ce qu’on ne connaît pas. Translation: You cannot desire what you do not know. Voltaire

Entre deux coeurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles. Translation: No words are needed between two heart in love. Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

L’amour fait les plus grandes douceurs et les plus sensibles infortunes de la vie. Translation: Love makes life’s sweetest pleasures and worst misfortunes. Madeleine de Scudéry

C’est cela l’amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans espoir de retour. Translation: That is love, to give away everything, to sacrifice everything, without the slightest desire to get anything in return. Albert Camus

On ne voit bien qu’avec le coeur. Translation: We see well only with the heart. Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Je serai poète et toi poésie. Translation: I am a poet and you poetry. François Coppée

Celui qui a bon coeur n’est jamais sot. Translation: He who has a good heart can never be a fool. Sand

Quand on n’a pas ce que l’on aime, Il faut aimer ce que l’on a. Translation: If we have not the thing we love, Then must we love the thing we have. Bussy Rabutin

L’on est bien faible quand on est amoureux. Translation: One is very weak when one is in love. Madame de Lafayette

Les grandes pensées viennent du coeur. Translation: The greatest thoughts come from the heart. Vauvenargues

Je t’aime trop pour t’épouser. Translation: I love you too much to marry you. Marc-Antoine Girard

L’on est bien faible quand on est amoureux. Translation: One is low when one is in love. Madame de Lafayette

Aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction. Translation: Love doesn’t mean gazing at each other, but looking, together, in the same direction. Terre Des

On revient toujours à ses premières amours. Translation: One always returns to his first loves. Charles-Guillaume Étienne,

Si tu m’aimais, et si je t’aimais, comme je t’aimerais! Translation: If you loved me, and if I loved you, how I would love you! Paul Géraldy

Le prix d’Amour, c’est seulement Amour… Il faut aimer si l’on veut etre aimé. Translation: The price of love is love itself. One must love if one wishes to be loved. Honoré d’ Urfé

En amour, écrire est dangereux, sans compter que c’est inutile. Translation: In love, writing is dangerous, not to mention pointless. from Le Demi-Monde by Alexandre Dumas Fils

En art comme en amour, l’instinct suffit. Translation: Whether it is art or love, your instinct will suffice. France

Il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimé. Translation: There is only one happiness in life, it is to love and be loved. George Sand

Le plus grand faible des hommes, c’est l’amour qu’ils ont de la vie. Translation: Man’s greatest weakness is his love of life. Molière

Le seul vrai language au monde est un baiser. Translation: The only true language in the world is a kiss. Musset

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133 romantic French words & phrases about love that you'll love

Elinor Zucchet

As a romance language , French is often considered the language of love. The English language even borrowed several French words about love such as “beau” , “oh la la” , “je ne sais quoi ” and yes… “ménage à trois” .

If you enjoyed our 141 weird and wonderful ways to say I love you in French , keep reading. In this article, you will learn:

• French words for love — you know, in case you want to write a poem to your “moitié.”
• Romantic French phrases and quotes to shine in society or impress “l’objet de votre affection.”
• Pick up lines in French to be fully ready for your next trip in a francophone country .
• A few “romantic” slang expressions, some slightly graphic.

So, get ready to fall head over heels in love with the French language !

Romantic French words

You probably know it, but just in case: in French, “love” is amour . Interestingly, this word can be both femimine and masculine… but only in plural. For example, amours nouveaux or amours nouvelles . In its singular form, amour is masculine. I know what you’re thinking: not very inclusive !

But don’t worry, because we have listed romantic French words for everyone. Love is love!

Romantic French phrases and quotes about love

Whether you like it cheesy or original, you’ll surely find something to impress your other half in the French quotes about love below. Or pick one of our fun French idioms to make them laugh. As the French expression says: “Femme qui rit à moitié dans son lit” (Woman who laughs, half in your bed”).

It also applies to men, right?

Marriage material

Do I hear wedding bells ringing? First of all, congratulations! Second, it might be time to learn some useful vocabulary around tying the knot.

And if you haven’t proposed yet, check out our different ways to pop the question in French. Oui !!!

Dating in France

A hot French person has caught your eye? Before you use the romantic French phrases above, hold your horses and read this.

French people don’t date. Whaaaat? By “don’t date”, I just mean to say that there is no nuance between “dating” and “exclusivity”.

A French person may ask you out for a rendez-vous at the movies or for dinner , for example. If the night ends with a kiss and with a promise to see each other again, it usually implies that you two are exclusive. Vous sortez ensemble.

In a nutshell, French people never have the “we are exclusive” conversation. So, as an advice, never assume you can see other people while dating a French person — and never assume that you’re on a break . But this goes for all cultures.

That’s not to say French people don’t have one night stands! Speaking of which, check out these cool ways to say “good morning ” in French!

If you don’t want to go too fast, an invitation for an informal drink or coffee is a good idea and doesn’t really commit you to anything.

Practical video guides

If you’re still a bit confused by all this love etiquette, here a couple of videos to help:

• My all-time favorite Loïc Suberville teaches you a couple of very graphic — and frankly weird — love-related French idioms .
• Learn some pick lines and romantic French words with Natalie.

Bonne chance ;-)

Love has no borders. Love is a language.

While I’m fully convinced that sometimes language has little to do with people getting along or not, you will need to communicate with your love interest at some point.

So, when it’s too soon for physical “communication”, you’ll love the words and quotes you’ve just learned.

And if they do help, don’t miss our sweet ways to say goodnight in French … and good morning .

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141 weird and wonderful ways to say I love you in French

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C'est quoi l'amour? French sayings about love

When thinking of France, many images come to mind. It can be its gastronomy or its monuments, its lavender fields or its great history. However, we tend to cover all of these factors in a subtle halo of romance. It may not be the classic, standard way of romance, but we do tend to associate France with love.

Why does this happen? What makes us jump from the image of France to the image of love ? And to say, French is the language of love! 

Is it a stereotype? Like many notions that evolve over time, the concept of love in France does have a stereotypical component, but is based on real characteristics.

What are these characteristics?

French culture through the ages

Lets think for a moment about what France has brought to the world in cultural matters throughout history. Novels, plays, operas, poetry. French has been one of the languages ​​in which great stories have been written over the last three centuries, and curiously, a large part of them are linked to love. Victor Hugo, Charles Baudelaire, Honoré de Balzac, Molière, George Sand, Marceline Desbordes Valmore. All great in their fields, and that in some way contributed to lay the foundations of stories, works and poetry related to love.

Of course, the fact that they wrote about love does not mean that they would always be happy stories, most of them are stories of betrayals and heartbreaks. C’est la vie, hein?

Even in modern times, we can't get enough romantic films set in Paris, "Midnight in Paris", "Amélie", and "Before Sunset", to name a few.

The historical status of French as the language of the European bourgeoisie

All these great novels, works and poetry soon spread throughout Europe, in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. And although you will believe that they were translated to be presented in each respective country, the French language remained intact, and soon in the European upper bourgeoisie it became customary to learn French to be able to enjoy all French works (In Anna Karenina, for example, You can see how the Russian gentry learn French from their youth) This helped cement the reputation of French throughout Europe and somehow "force" people to learn the language in order to access these great works.

While French can be a difficult language for some thanks to its pronunciation, the French accent prevails in the rankings as the most romantic of all accents, even above Italian and Spanish. This is partly thanks to its calm tone and quite recognizable pronunciations, such as when pronouncing those "rrr" and "zzz". However, the feelings belong to those who know how to transmit them, and figures like Nicolas Sarkozy, could have damaged a little the subtle perception of the French language by having a tone and pronunciation that is quite criticized by the French people. Interestingly, the French consider the most attractive accent to be English.

The country itself

France is the most visited country in the world, every year millions of people go to the country of the hexagon to learn about a culture that they have seen hundreds of times through references. This is not by chance, as France knows its tourism role very well and has managed to exploit popular knowledge to provide tourists with a unique experience. Love is part of this trend and we can see how, for example, Paris offers a lot of cafes that convey a subtle vibe of romance, and who can forget the Pont des Arts over the Senna and all those promises of love (more or less reciprocated and successful) that rest on those locks?

Now that we have pointed out some of the main factors that contribute to the romantic reputation of French as a language, let's look at some of its main phrases.

French sayings about love

“Il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimé.” – “There is only one happiness in life, and that is to love and to be loved. ” George Sand . 

If anyone knew about love it was George Sand (Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin) . Amantine's story is really wonderful and a great example of feminism in the 19th century, we invite you to discover more about her at culturethèque .

“Aimer, ce n'est pas se regarder l'un l'autre, c'est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.” – “To love is not to look at each other, it is to look together in the same direction.” Antoine De Saint-Exupéry.

Although Saint-Exupéry is known for Le Petit Prince, he has a beautiful collection of poems.

“Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point” – “The heart has its reasons that reason does not know” Blaise Pascal.

Yes, Blaise Pascal, the French Mathematician and Physicist, who laid the foundations for the theory of probabilities. I have always thought that there is time for everything, both for numbers and to write love sonnets.

“Celui qui ne donne rien n'a rien. Le plus grand malheur est de ne pas être mal aimé, mais pas d'aimer.” – “He who gives nothing has nothing. The greatest misfortune is not to be unloved, but not to love.” Albert Camus .

One of my favorite writers and one of my favorite quotes about love. I feel that it defines quite well that eternal existentialist who advocated for the good in spite of everything.

“L'amour consiste à être bête ensemble.” – “Love is about being silly together.” Paul Valéry

This famous 19th century French poet captures quite well the total honesty that must exist between lovers.

“Il suffit d'un regard, d'un aveu, d'une chanson , pour comprendre l'amour. Il suffit de ces riens pour faire des beaux jours.” – “It only takes a look, a confession, a song, to understand love. All it takes is this nonsense to make good days”   Charles Trenet.

Did you really think that we would make a list of phrases about love without putting at least one of Charles Trenet?

“L'amour est un feu qui s'éteint s'il ne s'augmente.” – “Love is a fire that goes out if it is not increased.” Stendhal.

Here’s to a romantic relationship that is a continuous Stendhal syndrome!

“L'amour a un caractère si particulier qu'on ne peut le cacher où il est, ni le feindre où il n'est pas.” – “Love has such a special character that you cannot hide it where it is, nor pretend it where it is not.” Madeleine de Souvré marquise de Sablé.

Try not to smile when you see that person you love, I challenge you.

"Tout l'univers obéit à l'Amour - Aimez, aimez, tout le reste n'est rien.” – “The whole universe obeys Love - Love, love, everything else is nothing.” Jean de La Fontaine.

All we need is love, right?

“En amour, être français, c'est la moitié du chemin.” – “In love, being French is half the way.” Paul Morand.

Do you see what we say about the relationship between France and love?

We hope you like this small but meaningful list and that it makes you think of that dear person, or beyond, of those friends and family that you love so much. France's relationship with that romantic feeling of love goes beyond a simple stereotype, and while today's French culture thrives on that advantage, it is important to keep in mind that the French language and the culture it has helped to cement is far more than that. Á bientôt!

Written by Alejandro Ramírez G.

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French love quotes: 30 sweet sayings about love

French literature is a treasure trove of quotes on love , so in today’s post we put the spotlight on some of the best French love quotes we could find.

Not all French stereotypes  are accurate, but French isn’t dubbed the language of love  for nothing. The language itself is romantic to read and listen to!

The French quotes on love we’re sharing in this post might reflect on love, loss, and sex, oh la la! , but none of the quotes will bluntly ask you voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

One might say that many beautiful French words , from amour  to poésie , are enough to make one whimsical on their own, but they’re even better when we get poetic about love . So in this post we’ll dive into 16 French love quotes from the pillars of French literature, 10 French love sayings and proverbs, as well as 4 French quotes on beauty.

This article is brought to you by LingoCulture, Where you can get unlimited private French classes via Zoom with native teachers for a flat monthly rate. It’s the closest thing to immersion you can get without living in a French-speaking country. Click here to learn more.

We’ve included the author of the quote where known; if we omitted the attribution, the French source is unknown. The English translations are our own interpretations.

16 French quotes about love

Below are some romantic French phrases you can share with your beloved. Some are accurate observations on different types of love, while others address the loss of love and the consequences that come with it. The never-ending supply of French love quotes can reassure us all that love is on everyone’s mind, and that it is best spoken and read about in French!

On n’est pas maître de soi-même, amoureux comme je suis de toi.

-Victor Hugo

We are not masters of ourselves, as in love as I am of you.

Votre œil me fait un été dans mon âme.

-Pierre de Ronsard

Your gaze creates a summer in my soul.

Je ne sais pas où va mon chemin mais je marche mieux quand ma main serre la tienne.

-Alfred de Musset

I don’t know where the road leads, but I walk better when my hand squeezes yours.

Aime-moi : car sans toi, rien ne puis, rien ne suis.

-Paul Verlaine

Love me: because without you, nothing can be, nothing is.

Après avoir fait l’amour, le premier qui parle dit une bêtise.

-Montherlant

After having made love, the first to speak says nonsense.

Il y a des larmes d’amour qui dureront plus longtemps que les étoiles du ciel.

-Charles Péguy

There are tears of love that will last longer than the stars in the sky.

La vie est un sommeil, l’amour en est le rêve, et vous aurez vécu, si vous avez aimé.

Life is slumber, love is the dream, and you will have lived if you have loved.

L’amour est le miracle de la civilisation.

Love is the miracle of civilization.

Pourquoi faudrait-il aimer rarement pour aimer beaucoup ?

-Albert Camus

Why should we love rarely to love a lot?

L’amour est la seule passion qui ne souffre ni passé ni avenir.

Love is the only passion that does not suffer a past nor a future.

À qui sait bien aimer il n’est rien d’impossible.

For those who can love well, nothing is impossible.

À force de parler d’amour, on devient amoureux.

-Blaise Pascale

By talking about love a lot, one becomes in love.

Quel sublime enfantillage que l’amour!

-Alexandre Dumas

What sublime childishness love is!

Ce que l’on aime avec violence finît toujours par vous tuer.

-Maupassant

What one loves violently always ends up killing you.

Pour qu’un homme et une femme s’aiment vraiment, il ne suffit pas qu’ils se soient fait plaisir, qu’ils se soient fait rire, il faut aussi qu’ils se soient fait souffrir.

-Françoise Sagan

In order for a man and a woman to truly love each other, it’s not enough that they’ve given each other pleasure, that they’ve made each other laugh, they must have made each other suffer also.

L’absence de l’être aimé laisse derrière soi un lent poison qui s’appelle l’oubli.

-C. Aveline

The absence of the one you love leaves behind a slow poison called oblivion.

10 French sayings about love – French proverbs about love

There are many French phrases about love, so here we present 10 such quotes that are somehow timeless. A few of these that refer to women may be considered fairly one-sided in this day and age, but they can easily be modified to refer to men or simply to people.

L’amour est le soleil de l’âme, il échauffe et vivifie tout notre être.

-Louis-Xavier Bourgeois

Love is the sun of the soul, it heats and brings vitality to our entire being.

La jalousie éteint l’amour comme les cendres éteignent le feu.

-Ninon de Lenclos

Jealousy extinguishes love like ashes extinguish fire.

L’amour doit tout oser quand il a tout à craindre.

Love must dare everything when it has everything to fear.

Vivre d’amour, c’est donner sans mesure.

-Sainte Thérèse de Lisieux

To live from love, is to give without measure.

L’amour est un capricieux qui désire tout mais qui se contente de presque rien.

-Madeleine de Scudéry

Love is a capricious one, that desires everything but is happy with almost nothing.

Il n’est richesse que d’amour et santé.

The only wealth is love and health.

Le véritable amour ne vit que de confiance et de fidélité.

True love only lives through trust and fidelity.

Heures de nuit, heures de jour, sont toujours bonnes en amour.

Night hours, day hours, are all good hours for love.

Amour de femme est comme vin de bouteille : le soir il est bon, le matin il est gâté.

Love of a woman is like wine from a bottle: in the evening it’s good, in the morning it’s spoiled.

The punch line of this one has a bit of a double entendre, since gâté  has the same two meanings in French as spoiled  does in English. Has the love gone sour in the morning, or is it rather an instance of pampering?

Here, we can obviously switch femme  for homme  to fit our context.

Femme qui prend et jamais ne donne, l’amour de l’amant l’abandonne.

The woman who takes and never gives, her lover’s love abandons her.

This is one where we can easily exchange the gender: Homme qui prend et jamais ne donne, l’amour de l’amante l’abondonne.  Note that the word for lover  in French is gendered, so we can also modify that detail to suit the context. See our post on French family words for a good list of vocab for couples in French .

4 French quotes on beauty

French beauty quotes and phrases certainly merit their own post, but we couldn’t resist leaving you with a few French words for beauty from some notorious French writers. We’ll start with famously cheeky quotes by Sacha Guitry and Serge Gainsbourg, and end with flowery quotes on inner beauty by Victor Hugo and Mireille Maurice.

Le meilleur moyen de faire tourner la tête d’une femme est de lui dire qu’elle a un joli profile.

-Sacha Guitry

The best way to make a woman turn her head is to tell her she has a pretty profile.

This one’s a bit of a play on words. We just wrote the literal translation of tourner la tête , which is to turn one’s head . However, a slight variant on this expression, tourner de la tête , also has the connotation of having one’s head spinning , or being dizzy , while it can also be similar to being head over heels .

La laideur a ceci de supérieur à la beauté qu’elle ne disparaît pas avec le temps.

-Serge Gainsbourg

Ugliness is superior to beauty, in that it does not disappear with time.

La beauté est relative. Le plaisir, la joie, ou la douleur même illumine le visage et lui donne un genre de beauté qui vient de l’intérieur.

-Mireille Maurice

Beauty is relative. Pleasure, joy, or even pain, illuminates the face and gives it a type of beauty that comes from within.

Aucune grâce extérieure n’est complète si la beauté intérieure ne la vivifie. La beauté de l’âme se répand comme une lumière mystérieuse sur la beauté du corps.

No external grace is complete if internal beauty does not give it vitality. The beauty of the soul expands like a mysterious light on the beauty of the body.

Conclusion: French love quotes

Now that we have explored the world of French sayings about love , perhaps all this romantic talk made you miss your beloved, in which case you might need a refresher on how to say I miss you in French .

Or, if you’re looking for inspiration on how to impress your crush, we hope you’ll grab your favorite French terms of endearment  along with your favorite selection of French romantic phrases  from this post and enjoy the floating hearts it will undoubtedly produce.

KEEP READING

French accent marks: a quick guide to the five french diacritics, bonjour mon ami 12 ways to say friend in french, an vs année, jour vs journée, and nuit vs nuitée: subtle french word pairs, bonjour: meaning in english, history, and uses.

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8 french expressions about love from around the world.

In survey after survey — our own included — French is voted the sexiest language in the world (sorry Russian, most people just can’t handle your rugged beauty). But the credit can’t all go to France! The language that makes so many of us swoon is spoken by roughly 300 million people in 29 countries, and that’s just counting the places where it’s an official language. While the French in France can lay claim to the most well-known way to say “I love you,” Africans and North Americans have their fair share of sultry pillow talk too. If you really want to talk about l’amour , you’ll be well-served to heed the example of French speakers in all of their internationally diverse glory. Here are our favorite French expressions about love.

International French Expressions About Love

Avoir un cœur d’artichaut

Literally: To have an artichoke’s heart Actually: To fall in love easily and frequently

Tomber en amour

Literally: To fall into love Actually: To fall in love

Être bleu de quelqu’un

Literally: To be blue about someone Actually: To be crazy about someone

Glisser pour quelqu’un

Literally: To slip for someone Actually: To fall in love with someone

Avoir un coup de foudre

Literally: To have a thunder-clap Actually: To fall in love at first sight

Burkina Faso

Literally: To be knock-outed Actually : To fall madly in love

Avoir un coup de soleil

Literally: To get sunburned Actually: To have a crush on someone

Congo and Senegal

Être amouré

Literally: To be inloved Actually: To be in love

Être fleur bleue

Literally: To be blue flower Actually: To be romantic and sensitive

So which are your favorite French expressions about love? Are you knocked-out, thunderstruck, burnt to a crisp, or do you have an artichoke’s heart?

60 French Love Quotes And Sayings (Plus Translation)

By: Author Christine Rogador

Posted on Published: April 21, 2021  - Last updated: April 24, 2023

France – a country of love, passion, and romance. Hands down, the French are the most romantic people on the planet that Paris is even called the City of Love . They have the innate talent of weaving words and lyrics , capturing the true essence of love and life in general. When it comes to expressing their thoughts and feelings through French quotes , they seem to have got it just right. This makes French love quotes captivating. 

The French language itself, which originated from Latin, is considered a language of romance. Even non-native speakers would agree: French is music to the ears. Thanks to its euphony and melodious intonation, one doesn’t have to understand French to fall in love with the language. 

But French does not only sound romantic, it possesses unique qualities to perfectly capture the true essence of both love and pain as well. 

This is probably why the most distinguished writers and poets of all time hail from this part of the world. Read: Jean-Paul Sartre, Guy de Maupassant, Victor Hugo , Marcel Proust , Émile Zola, Honoré de Balzac… the list could go on forever. They are the brains (and hearts) behind the most famous French love sayings of all time. Their words have been engraved in the hearts and minds of people from all over the world.

These great French thinkers have gifted us with love sayings that suit all kinds of feelings and situations that sometimes we ourselves cannot put into words.

Things you'll find in this article

 “Plaisir d’amour ne dure qu’un moment. Chagrin d’amour dure toute la vie.”  –  French Proverb

“coeur facile à donner, facile à ôter.”  –  french proverb,  “loin des yeux, loin du coeur.” –  french proverb, “amour, toux et fumée en ne secret sont demeurée.” – french proverb, “offrir l’amitié à qui veut l’amour, c’est donner du pain à qui meurt de soif.” –  french proverb, “l’esprit s’enrichit de ce qu’il reçoit, le cœur de ce qu’il donne.” – victor hugo, “la vie est une fleur dont l’amour est le miel.” – victor hugo, “il faut s’aimer, et puis il faut se le dire, et puis il faut se l’écrire, et puis il faut se baiser sur la bouche, sur les yeux et ailleurs.” – victor hugo, “aimer, c’est vivre; aimer, c’est voir; aimer, c’est être.” – victor hugo, “on passe une moitié de sa vie à attendre ceux qu’on aimera et l’autre moitié à quitter ceux qu’on aime.” – victor hugo.,  “le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point.” – blaise pascal, “je t’aime parce que tout l’univers a conspiré à me faire arriver jusqu’à toi.” – paulo coelho.

• “On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry 

“Les seuls beaux yeux sont ceux qui vous regardent avec tendresse.” – Coco Chanel

“entre deux cœurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles.” – marceline desbordes-valmore, “vivre sans aimer n’est pas proprement vivre.” – molière, “la vie est un sommeil, l’amour en est le rêve.” – alfred de musset, “aimer, ce n’est pas se regarder l’un l’autre, c’est regarder ensemble dans la même direction.” – antoine de saint-exupéry, “c’est cela l’amour, tout donner, tout sacrifier sans espoir de retour.” – albert camus, “l’amour est la poésie des sens.” – honoré de balzac, “on ne badine pas avec l’amour” – alfred de musset, “j’entends ta voix dans tous les bruits du monde.” – paul éluard, “je t’aime plus qu’hier moins que demain.” – rosemonde gérard, “il n’y a qu’un bonheur dans la vie, c’est d’aimer et d’être aimé.” – george sand, “on n’aime que ce qu’on ne possède pas tout entier.” – marcel proust, “elle avait dans les yeux, la force de son coeur.” – charles baudelaire,  “le seul vrai langage au monde est un baiser.” – alfred de musset, l’amour fait les plus grandes douceurs et les plus sensibles infortunes de la vie – madeleine de scudéry, “l’on est bien faible quand on est amoureux.” – madame de lafayette,  “je vous souhaite d’être follement aimée.” – andré breton, “l’amour c’est être stupide ensemble.” – paul valéry,  “l’amour est une tragédie pour ceux qui ressentent et une comédie pour ceux qui pensent.” – molière, “l’amour est un égoïsme à deux.” – madame de staël, “rien n’est petit dans l’amour. ceux qui attendent les grandes occasions pour prouver leur tendresse ne savent pas .” – laure conan, “oh si tu pouvais lire dans mon coeur, tu verrais la place où je t’ai mise” – gustave flaubert,  “mais ce qu’a lié l’amour même, le temps ne peut le délier.” – germain nouveau, “amour veut tout sans nombre, amour n’a point de loi.” – pierre de ronsard,  “l’amour est comme le vent, nous ne savons pas d’où il vient.” – honoré de balzac, “j’ai aimé jusqu’à atteindre la folie. ce que certains appellent la folie, mais ce qui pour moi, est la seule façon d’aimer.” – françoise sagan, “et c’est parfois dans un regard, dans un sourire que sont cachés les mots qu’on n’a jamais su dire.” – yves duteil, “l’amour est l’emblème de l’éternité, il confond toute la notion de temps, efface toute la mémoire d’un commencement, toute la crainte d’une extrémité.” – madame de staël, “quand on est aimé on ne doute de rien. quand on aime, on doute de tout.” – colette, “j’ai souvent souffert, je me suis trompé quelquefois; mais j’ai aimé. c’est moi qui ai vécu, et mon orgueil et mon ennui.” – alfred de musset, “le prix d’amour, c’est seulement amour… il faut aimer si l’on veut etre aimé…” – honoré d’ urfé,  “le plus grand faible des hommes, c’est l’amour qu’ils ont de la vie.” – molière, “si l’amour n’est qu’une illusion, alors qu’est-ce que la réalité” – unknown,  “l’amour est le miracle de la civilisation.” – stendhal,  “il faut aimer si l’on veut être aimé.” – honoré d’urfé, “un seul être vous manque et tout est dépeuplé.” – lamartine, “aimer, c’est trouver sa richesse hors de soi.” – alain, “quand il me prend dans les bras, il me parle tout bas, je vois la vie en rose. –  édith piaf, “l’amour est ta dernière chance.” – louis aragon,  “en sa beauté gît ma mort et ma vie.” – maurice scève, “quand on n’a que l’amour / pour tracer un chemin / et forcer le destin / a chaque carrefour.” – jacques brel , “une femme est plus belle que le monde où je vis, et je ferme les yeux.” – paul éluard, “que bien aime, tard oublie.” – strauss,  “la vie ne vaut pas d’être vécue sans amour.” – serge gainsbourg, “aimer et être aimé sera la grande affaire de toute notre vie.” – rousseau, “je serai poète et toi poésie.” – françois coppée, “l’amour, c’est renoncer à l’intelligence pour vivre de ses sens.”  – josiane coeijmans.

Let us celebrate the beauty of this language by going through the most popular French romantic quotes. So without further adieu, here are some of the best French love quotes to help you appreciate the language more and give you a glimpse of love through the eyes of the French.

Romantic French Proverbs and Sayings

English translation: “Pleasure of love lasts only a moment. The pain of love lasts a lifetime.”

English translation: The heart that is easily given is also easily taken away.

English translation: “Out of sight, out of mind.”

English translation: “Love, cough, and smoke do not remain secrets.”

English translation: To offer friendship to someone who wants love is like giving food to someone who’s dying of thirst.

Romantic French Love Quotes By Famous People

English translation: “The mind grows with what it receives, the heart with what it gives.”

English translation: “Life is a flower, of which love is the honey.”

English translation: “We must love, and say, and then write each other about it, then we must kiss each other’s mouth, and eyes, and elsewhere.”

English translation: “To love is to live; to love is to see; to love is to be.”

English translation: “You spend half your life waiting for the ones you’ll love and half your life waiting to leave the ones you love.”

English translation: “The heart has its reasons for which reason knows nothing.”

English translation: “ I love you because the whole universe conspired to bring me to you.”

“On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry  

English translation: “One sees clearly with the heart.”

English translation: “The only beautiful eyes are those who look at you with fondness.”

French Love Quotes and Sayings by Other People

English translation: “Two hearts in love need no words.”

English translation: “To live without loving is not really living.”

English translation: “Life is a long sleep and love is its dream.”

English translation: “ To love is not to look at each other, it is to look in the same direction together.”

English translation: “This is love, giving it all, sacrificing everything without expecting anything in return.”

English translation: “Love is the poetry of the senses.”

English translation: “We do not play with love.”

English translation: “I hear your voice amidst all the world’s noises.”

English translation: “I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.”

English translation: “There is only one happiness in life, and that is to love and to be loved.”

English translation: “We only love what we do not possess completely.”

English translation: “She showed in her eyes, the strength of her heart.”

English translation: “The only true language in the world is a kiss.”

English translation: “Love brings the greatest pleasures and the worst misfortunes in life.”

English translation: “We are very weak when we are in love.”

English translation: “I wish for you to be loved madly.”

English translation: Love is being stupid together.

English translation: “Love is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.”

English translation: Love is selfishness for two.

English translation: “Nothing in love is small. Those who wait for grand occasions to prove their love do not know how to love.”

English translation: “Oh! If you could read my heart, you would see the place I have provided for you there.”

English translation: “But what love has bound together, time cannot unbind.”

English translation: “Love wants everything without condition, love has no law.”

English translation: “Love is like the wind, nobody knows where it comes from.”

English translation: “I have loved to the point of madness. That which some call madness, but which to me, is the only way to love.”

English translation: “And sometimes it’s in a look, in a smile, that hides the words that we never knew how to say.”

English translation: “Love is the emblem of eternity; it confuses the whole notion of time, erases all the memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.”

English translation: “When we are loved, we doubt nothing. When you love, you doubt everything.”

English translation: “I have often suffered, I have sometimes made mistakes, but I loved it. It was I who lived, and not a fictitious character created by my pride and my boredom.”

English translation: “The price of Love is love itself… You have to love if you want to be loved…”

English translation: “The greatest weakness of men is the love they have for life.”

English translation: “If love is nothing but an illusion, then what is real?”

English translation: “Love is the miracle of civilization.”

English translation: “You must love if you want to be loved.”

English translation: “You miss just one person and everything is depopulated.”

English translation: “To love is to find one’s blessing outside of oneself.”

English translation: “When he takes me in his arms and speaks to me softly, I see the world through rose-colored glasses.”

English translation: “Love is your last chance.”

English translation: “In her beauty lies my death and my life.”

English translation: “When all you have is love /  to show the way / and change the course of fate / at every crossroads.”

English translation: “A woman is more beautiful than the world I live in, and so I close my eyes.”

English translation: “True love never grows old.”

English translation: “Life is not worth living without love.”

English translation: “To love and be loved will be the greatest event in our lives.”

English translation: “I will be a poet and you will be a poetry.”

English translation: “Love is giving up intelligence to live by your senses.”

If you enjoy these inspirational quotes, check out our list of travel quotes, quotes about France and inspirational quotes too!

Hi, I’m Christine – a full-time traveler and career woman. Although I’m from the Philippines, my location independent career took me to over 40 countries and lived in 4 continents in the last 10 years, including France. A self-proclaimed Francophile, I love everything France.

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128 Romantic French Phrases: Say I Love you in French

• Post category: French Language
• Post author: Nassie Angadi

With French being the language of love, and Paris the city of romance, you know that there are going to be some fabulous romantic French phrases and proverbs out there.

As someone who came to France as a singleton, did the whole “meeting a Frenchie” and getting married, I really enjoyed writing this article. Whether you are looking to meet someone , already in a relationship , or getting married, there is something for everyone.

From compliments to “I love you”s in French , there are some beautiful expressions, cheesy ones, and certainly some heartfelt ones. So allons-y and let’s get started!

☞ READ MORE: Top French travel phrases for every occasion

I. “I Love You” in French

Poetic and passionate, there are many different ways to say “I love you” in French.

And then there are of course all the ways to say “I love you” without saying “I love you”.

If you want to go a step further and quote sweet nothings to your loved one, here are some sweet and romantic French terms of endearment.

II. Flirty Phrases

However, if you are just starting off, imagine you are at a dinner party or a night out in a bar in Paris , and you catch the eye of someone special. A few flirty phrases and ice breakers in French will definitely come in handy:

I wouldn’t recommend going overboard, but you can find more pick-up lines, good and bad here.

III. Compliments in French

Once you’ve gotten in a couple of ice-breakers, it may be time to amp up the flirt-o-meter.

Just because French people don’t date much, it doesn’t mean that they are not prepared to spout out a few declarations of amour . French people tend to like subtlety so keep your French romantic phrases real.

IV. Dating, Kissing, and Relationships Expressions

Once you are past the basics, here are a few good French relationship expressions to launch into that phase of “dating”. I have to put dating here in quotes because French people don’t really do dating.

After seeing someone a couple of times and a couple of kisses, French people usually consider themselves to be “ en couple ” (in a relationship). Yes, really.

So for instance, I’ve included the question “Will you be my boy/girlfriend?” but most French couples never actually ask each other this question. It tends to go without saying, and the next thing you know the couple is moving in together and having a baby .

There are times when you have an important question to ask:

Now, if you are on the receiving end and looking to answer yes (with a bit of passion) to any of these questions, you can say:

And there are the phrases for all the times you want to give someone the brush-off:

V. The Platonic “I like you” in French

One thing to be aware of is the phrase “ Je t’aime bien “, which means “I like you a lot”. However, it means I like you a lot, and not particularly in a romantic sense! This is what you might say to someone you might be turning down, as in “ Je t’aime bien, mais j’ai déjà une copine “, meaning “I like you a lot, but I already have a girlfriend”.

Instead, you want to say “ Je t’aime beaucoup ” meaning, “I like you a lot”, if you want to tell someone you are interested in them.

VI. Romantic Expressions

Now, if you planning on popping the big question and asking someone to marry you , you may need a few good French phrases to prepare for your proposal.

And here are some phrases for when you are talking about your partner to someone else:

Now, if you are planning to propose to your significant other, do check out my article on a traditional French wedding , as well as my tips on having that wedding in a château (why not!?).

☞ READ MORE: 22 French Love songs to swoon over

VII. Other Romance Vocabulary

Beyond the phrases, there is are certain words and phrases that just enthuse love and romance.

• amour d’adolescent – puppy love
• amour de ma vie – love of my life
• amoureux / amoureuse – boyfriend / girlfriend
• avoir le cœur brisé – to be brokenhearted
• bisous – kiss
• célibataire – single
• choper – to pick up
• craquer pour quelqu’un – to fall for someone
• déclarer sa flamme – to declare your love
• des bijoux – jewellery
• des bonbons – candy
• des fleurs – flowers
• des mots doux – sweet nothings
• des tourtereaux – lovebirds
• désirer – to desire
• draguer ( slang ) – to hit on
• du parfum – perfume
• embrasser – to kiss
• éperdument amoureux – lovestruck
• épouser – to marry
• faire l’amour – to make love
• faire un câlin – to hug
• flirter – to flirt
• fou d’amour – madly in love
• jaloux / jalouse – jealous
• l’âme sœur – soulmate
• l’amour – love
• l’epoux/epouse – spouse
• la lune de miel – honeymoon
• la passion – passion
• la piece montée – the cake at a traditional French wedding
• la Saint-Valentin – St. Valentine’s Day
• la tendresse – tenderness, affection
• le cœur – the heart
• le grand amour – true love
• le mariage – marriage
• les fiançailles – engagement
• les noces – wedding
• ma femme – my wife
• mon mari – my husband
• murmurer des mots doux – to whisper sweet nothings
• se fiancer – to get engaged
• se marier – to get married
• se pacser – to enter in a civil partnership (a particular legal status in France)
• se tenir la main – to hold hands
• son premier amour – first love
• sortir avec quelqu’un – to date somebody
• tenir une promesse – to keep a promise
• tomber amoureux (de) – to fall in love (with)
• tomber sous le charme de quelqu’un – to fall under the spell of somebody
• un amant, une amante – lover
• un amour éternel – endless love
• un baiser – a kiss
• un câlin – cuddle, hug
• un coup de foudre – love at first sight (lightening strike)
• un dîner aux chandelles – a candlelit dinner
• un nid d’amour – a love nest
• un triangle amoureux – love triangle
• un voyage de noces – honeymoon
• un(e) copain(e) – boyfriend/girlfriend
• un(e) fiancé(e) – fiancé
• une alliance – a wedding ring
• une bague de fiançailles – an engagement ring
• une déclaration d’amour – declaration of love
• une histoire d’amour – a love story
• une liaison – love affair
• une preuve d’amour – a proof of love

☞ READ MORE: French views on love & love-making

So have you found the French words to sweep that special someone off their feet? If you enjoyed that article, you may want to read more about the romantic nicknames French people give each other . A bientôt!

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10 French proverbs about love

French proverbs about love.

The French language is known for its rich history and literature, and this extends to its proverbs about love.

These proverbs offer insight into the French view of love, relationships, and the heart.

Here are 10 French proverbs about love that offer timeless wisdom on the subject:

1. “L’amour est aveugle” – Love is blind

This proverb suggests that love can cloud our judgement and make us ignore flaws in a partner.

2. “L’amour est plus fort que tout” – Love is stronger than anything

This proverb emphasizes the power of love, suggesting that it can overcome any obstacle.

3. “Qui aime bien, châtie bien” – He who loves well, punishes well

This proverb suggests that those who love deeply also care enough to correct or discipline.

4. “L’amour n’a pas d’âge” – Love has no age

This proverb suggests that love knows no bounds, including age differences.

5. “Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point” – The heart has its reasons that reason does not know

This proverb suggests that emotions and feelings play a role in love that cannot be explained by logic.

6. “L’amour est éternel tant qu’il dure” – Love is eternal while it lasts

This proverb suggests that love can last forever, but it also has the potential to end.

7. “L’amour vient en jouant” – Love comes through playing

This proverb suggests that love can develop gradually and naturally, as two people get to know each other.

8. “L’amour platonique est l’amour le plus fort” – Platonic love is the strongest love

This proverb suggests that love without physical intimacy can be the strongest and most enduring kind of love.

9. “L’amour est un feu qui se nourrit de ce qu’on y met” – Love is a fire that feeds on what you put into it

This proverb suggests that love requires effort and investment to thrive.

10. “L’amour rend aveugle” – Love makes us blind

This proverb suggests that love can make us overlook flaws or negative aspects in a partner.

These French proverbs about love offer a unique perspective on the subject and provide insight into the French view of love and relationships.

By considering these expressions, we can gain a deeper appreciation of the complexities of love and the role it plays in our lives.

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Romance in the French Culture

France is known for its romantic culture, and it is no surprise that the country has been the setting for countless love stories, both in literature and in real life. From the city of love, Paris, to the charming countryside villages, France has a wealth of romantic destinations that have inspired some of the greatest love stories in history.

French Culture and Love

Famous love stories in france, literature and romance in france, romantic destinations in france.

The French have a unique and passionate approach to love, which is reflected in their language, customs, and art. In this article, we will explore the many facets of romance in France, from its cultural traditions to its famous love stories.

The French have a reputation for being romantics, and their approach to love is characterized by a passion for beauty, art, and pleasure. French culture celebrates love and romance, and the country’s art, music, and literature are filled with depictions of passionate love affairs.

The French language itself is often considered one of the most romantic languages in the world, with its melodic sound and expressive vocabulary. French terms of endearment, such as “mon amour” (my love) and “ma chérie” (my darling), have become synonymous with romance and have been adopted by people around the world.

French customs and traditions also reflect the country’s romantic culture. For example, in France, it is customary to exchange kisses on both cheeks as a greeting, a gesture that is often accompanied by a heartfelt “je t’aime” (I love you). French cuisine, with its emphasis on fresh ingredients, rich flavors, and intimate dining experiences, is also an important part of the country’s romantic culture.

France has been the setting for many famous love stories, both in literature and in real life. One of the most famous is the story of Napoleon and Josephine. Napoleon, a powerful military leader, fell in love with Josephine, a woman of humble origins, while he was serving in the French army. Despite their differences in social status, the couple married and remained devoted to each other until their separation in 1809.

Another famous French love story is that of Victor Hugo and Juliette Drouet. Hugo, the celebrated author of Les Misérables and The Hunchback of Notre Dame, fell in love with Drouet, an actress, in the 1830s. The couple began a passionate affair that lasted for over 50 years, and Drouet remained devoted to Hugo even after his marriage to another woman.

France has a rich literary tradition, and its literature is filled with depictions of love and romance. French authors have created some of the most iconic love stories in the history of literature, including the tragic love affair between Romeo and Juliet in Shakespeare’s play of the same name, which is set in Verona, Italy.

One of the most famous French novels about love is Gustave Flaubert’s Madame Bovary, which tells the story of a young woman who is trapped in a loveless marriage and seeks refuge in extramarital affairs. The novel is a critique of the oppressive social norms of 19th-century France, and it has been praised for its psychological depth and vivid descriptions of the French countryside.

Another iconic work of French literature about love is Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time, a seven-volume novel that explores the themes of memory, time, and love. The novel is renowned for its vivid depictions of French society in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, as well as its complex portrayal of love and desire.

France is home to many romantic destinations that have inspired love stories throughout history. Paris, the city of love, is perhaps the most famous, with its stunning architecture, picturesque streets, andworld-renowned museums and art galleries. The Eiffel Tower, one of the most recognizable landmarks in the world, is a symbol of love and romance, and it attracts millions of visitors every year.

Other romantic destinations in France include the Loire Valley, known for its charming chateaux and scenic countryside, and the French Riviera, with its beautiful beaches, glamorous resorts, and stunning coastline.

The French countryside is also known for its romantic charm, with its quaint villages, rolling hills, and picturesque landscapes. The region of Provence, in particular, has inspired countless love stories with its lavender fields, vineyards, and charming villages.

French cinema is also known for its romantic films, many of which are set in these iconic locations. Some of the most famous French romance films include Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Amélie, which is set in Paris and tells the story of a young woman who sets out to improve the lives of those around her, and Francois Truffaut’s Jules et Jim, which is set in the French countryside and tells the story of a love triangle between two men and a woman.

France’s romantic culture has inspired countless love stories throughout history, and its literature, art, and cinema continue to celebrate the beauty and passion of love. From the language of love to the country’s stunning landscapes and iconic landmarks, France offers a wealth of romantic experiences for couples and travelers alike. Whether you’re strolling along the Seine in Paris or exploring the charming villages of Provence, there is no shortage of romantic destinations to explore in this beautiful and enchanting country.

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8 French idioms about love

by Audrey Sivadier

Published on February 10, 2021 / Updated on November 9, 2022

Do you want to talk about love? How about using French, the language of love? Here are 8 French expressions that talk about romantic situations. We also have some useful French phrases that you could use if you get your heart broken.

Top French love idioms

1.  avoir un coup de foudre.

It all starts there! Literally, it means “to have a strike of lightning”. Yes, the French don’t pull any punches, “le coup de foudre” is a very strong feeling, which paralyses you on the spot when you see your loved one for the first time.

An example of expression in use: « Quand je l’ai vue pour la première fois, je n’ai pas eu de doute sur mes sentiments, ça a été un coup de foudre instantané. » (“When I saw her for the first time, I had no doubt about my feelings, it was instant love at first sight.”)

By the way, the romantic movie “Notting Hill” is called “Coup de foudre à Notting Hill” in French.

Other French expressions with the word “coup”

2. Avoir un cœur d’artichaut

Is it “love at first sight”, or do you have an “artichoke’s heart”? Perhaps you are like this vegetable: this expression evokes the comparison between the heart of the plant (the artichoke) and the human heart. The artichoke is famous for the way it is eaten, you detach its leaves. So the person with an artichoke heart detaches the leaves from his/her heart quite easily.

 You can use this expression to refer to someone who falls easily and often in love.

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3.  Être fleur bleue 

Meaning, “to be a blue flower”. Another expression with a vegetal, which means “to be sentimental”. In the language of flowers, pale blue expresses an unspoken tenderness, discreet and ideal, but also sometimes a little naive.

Blue is also a colour widely used in French expressions:

– “Un bleu” pejoratively designates a beginner (especially in the military), it is often considered naive again.

– “Avoir une peur bleue” means to feel a very great fear.

– You can also order “une viande bleue” (a “blue” meat) in a restaurant, the cooking will be short, the meat will be grilled outside and raw inside.

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4.  En pincer pour quelqu’un

Literally, it means “to pinch on someone”. Yes, love can hurt, the French know it and use this expression when they are in love with someone or when they have a crush, they say: “j’en pince pour …”.

It seems that the verb “pinch” is used here in reference to the stringed musical instruments that one pinches (or plucks) to change the sounds. It is said that the vibration produced could be compared to the vibration produced by love for a person or passion for a particular thing. 

5.  Avoir un ticket avec…

Love has no commercial value… except in this French expression. If you think you’ve seduced someone, you may have a ticket with that person. It means he/she likes you.

Example: “He smiled at me! Sure, I have a ticket with Bradley Cooper! ” ( who speaks very good French by the way… )

6. Poser un lapin

You finally dared to ask her/him out, you suggested a restaurant or a cinema date. You are there, you wait, and wait… but he/she doesn’t come… ” Il/elle vous a posé un lapin ” (He/she stood you up.)

Literally in English: “to put a rabbit”. Nowadays , this French expression means not to go to an appointment without telling the person who is waiting for us.

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7. Se prendre un râteau

Literally: “to take a rake”. But it’s nothing to do with gardening! It is a French expression which evokes the image of the one who walks on a rake and gets hit in their face with the handle. Their ridiculous and painful character refers to what one feels when one fails to seduce.

Example:  « Il lui a demandé de sortir avec lui, mais il s’est pris un râteau… » (“He asked her out, but he got a rake…”)

8.  S’envoyer en l’air

Last but not least, “S’envoyer en l’air” which literally means “to throw oneself in the air”. In slang, it refers to sexual intercourse, and above all to the pleasure metaphorically linked to a divine ascension to heaven.

Now all you have to do is use these expressions in your conversations, it will be the best way to memorise them!

Audrey Sivadier

Audrey has been a French teacher for more than ten years now, and a cheese-lover all her life. She comes from the west of France, and after living 2 years in Spain and 4 years in Oxford in England, she has just settled in the heart of France, in Auvergne, a land of cheese, rugby, Michelin tires and ancient volcanoes. Audrey definitely prefers the first one. She speaks French, Spanish and English, and just started German, nothing better to understand her students who tremble at the French grammar! When she is not teaching, she tries to find time to cook or sing in a choir. She loves to invite people to her house to feed them and trap them with musical blind tests designed and adapted to her guests! Find out more about her on her website and LinkedIn .

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“Amour: How the French Talk About Love” Presents an Unclichéd, Honest Depiction of Relationships

• By Jenny Hughes
• January 27, 2020

What we’ve come to expect of books about French people and French love is that they will feature   clichés about the French (Parisians specifically), photos in black and white from a bygone era, or else comedic riffing on what it is to be French (also rife with clichés).

“Amour: How the French Talk About Love,” by journalist Stefania Rousselle (Penguin Books 2020), is not that book. It’s an honest, raw portrayal of French people and love, without any of the usual glossy trappings.

A Pulitzer Prize finalist, Rousselle, who is French-American, reported on the 2015 terrorist attack in Paris for The New York Times. The violence, along with the heartache from a recent relationship gone bad, shook her so badly that she found herself questioning what love is. Over the course of two years, Rousselle traveled alone across France to meet with French people and discuss love. The result is “Amour.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7lYTn1o6Eq/

In over ninety interviews and 100 photos, Rousselle presents a unique depiction of love. In Pac d’Assabère, Le Chesnay, Fleury, and many more towns most non-French people have never heard of, love is found in stories of second marriages, loss, raising children, rejection, internet connections, and lifelong partners.

“Amour” puts the romanticized depiction of France to shame. There are no stories of couples who had a meet-cute on Pont Neuf, who live perfect bohemian lives on a houseboat on the Côte d’Azur, who share kisses on the rooftop of their luxurious Paris apartment. Rosselle’s presentation of love in France is diverse, in age, ancestral origins, and sexuality. She profiles a mixed-race couples on their couch speaking of prejudice, a never-been-kissed man in his workshop, and a woman, who leaves her husband and returns to him every day because she’s afraid of him, standing in her doorway. “Please forgive me if I cry,” says an 81-year-old man from Saint-Orens-Pouy-Petit, speaking of his deceased wife.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7f-0wqASUC/

Though your idealized image of picture-perfect French love may disappear while reading “Amour,” a swell of empathy for humanity will take its place. For one of the most romantic countries on earth, love is humanized, brought down to earth, and made earnest.

Available on Penguin’s website here , and Amazon here . The UK cover is available to purchase here .

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• France Guides
• June 8, 2023

Why Is France the City of Love

France, the City of Love, captivates with its rich history, iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and Mont Saint-Michel, and romantic settings such as the Palace of Versailles. Art, music, culinary delights, and the poetic French language further enhance the allure, making France an irresistible destination for couples.

In this blog, we’ll explore why France has earned its status as the City of Love and discover some of the most romantic attractions in the country. So come along with us on an exploration of what makes France so special! Bon voyage!

History Behind France’s Nickname

Frances’s nickname, “The City of Love,” is well-known around the world. But what is the history behind this endearing title? The nickname partially stems from the beautiful language spoken in France, often considered the language of love.

But beyond that, it can be traced back to the romantic architecture, charming sidewalk cafes, and scenic views found throughout the country. From the Eiffel Tower to the Palace of Versailles, the stunning landmarks of France capture the hearts of tourists and locals alike.

With such a rich cultural and historical background, it’s no wonder why France has become synonymous with love and romance.

Iconic Landmarks and Romantic Settings

France has long been known as the City of Love, and it’s easy to see why. With its beautiful architecture, stunning landscapes, and rich history, the country is full of iconic landmarks and romantic settings that make it the perfect destination for couples.

Eiffel Tower in Paris

The Eiffel Tower is perhaps the most iconic landmark in France and a symbol of romance. Its graceful iron lattice structure offers breathtaking panoramic views of the city. Couples can ascend to the top together and witness the enchanting cityscape while enjoying a romantic moment.

The Eiffel Tower also illuminates sparkling lights at night, creating a magical ambiance that adds to the romantic allure of this famous landmark.

Mont Saint-Michel

Located on the coast of Normandy, Mont Saint-Michel is a stunning medieval abbey situated on a rocky island. It’s picturesque setting, surrounded by vast tidal flats, creates a truly magical and romantic atmosphere.

Couples can stroll hand-in-hand through the narrow, cobblestone streets, explore the charming shops, and soak in the awe-inspiring views of the abbey towering above. As the sun sets, the abbey becomes illuminated, casting a romantic glow over the entire island.

Palace of Versailles

The Palace of Versailles, located near Paris, is a grand and opulent palace that served as the residence of French kings and queens. The palace’s vast gardens, adorned with meticulously manicured lawns, elegant fountains, and beautiful flower beds, provide a romantic setting for couples to explore.

They can stroll along the tree-lined pathways, find hidden groves, and discover ornate statues and charming gazebos. The beauty and splendor of Versailles create an atmosphere that transports couples to a bygone era of romance and royalty.

Role of Music and Art in Cultivating a Feeling of Love

France, often referred to as the city of love, is famous for its romantic ambiance. Beyond the romantic architecture and atmosphere, France’s artistic culture plays a huge role in cultivating feelings of love.

The country is renowned for its museums, art galleries, and music festivals that celebrate creativity in all forms. Music, for instance, has a way of touching the soul and stirring up deep emotions. French love songs are popular worldwide for their soothing melodies and romantic lyrics.

“La Vie en Rose” by Edith Piaf

A timeless French song performed by the iconic French singer Edith Piaf. Released in 1947, it became one of Piaf’s signature songs and has since become a symbol of romance and love in France. With its heartfelt lyrics and Piaf’s passionate vocals, the song captures the essence of French romance and has been covered by numerous artists worldwide.

“Impression, Sunrise” by Claude Monet

A renowned painting by French artist Claude Monet, created in 1872. It is considered one of the founding pieces of the Impressionist movement. The painting depicts a serene view of the port of Le Havre at sunrise, with delicate brushstrokes and a soft color palette.

Through his innovative use of light and loose brushwork. Monet sought to capture the fleeting atmosphere and evoke an emotional response in the viewer.

“Carmen” by Georges Bizet

An opera composed by Georges Bizet, with a libretto by Henri Meilhac and Ludovic Halévy. Premiered in Paris in 1875, the opera tells the story of a passionate and free-spirited Spanish woman named Carmen and her tragic love affairs.

Known for its captivating melodies and dramatic storytelling, “Carmen” has become one of the most beloved and frequently performed operas worldwide, showcasing the emotional intensity and romantic themes often associated with French artistic works.

It’s no wonder that many travelers feel captivated by the art and music scene in France, leaving with a feeling of love that lingers long after they’ve left the city.

Culinary Delights and Romantic Dining Experiences

France has long been known as the city of love, and for good reason. It has a magnetic quality that seems to draw those in search of romance. Whether it’s strolling along the Seine River or enjoying a delicious meal with your significant other.

The culinary delights of France are world-renowned, from the mouth-watering croissants for breakfast to the rich and savory coq au vin for dinner. And what better way to enjoy these exquisite flavors than by sharing them with someone special in a romantic dining experience?

Candlelit Dinner at a Parisian Bistro

Indulge in a candlelit dinner at a cozy Parisian bistro. Where the warm ambiance and intimate setting set the stage for a romantic culinary experience. Enjoy classic French dishes like Coq au Vin or Bouillabaisse, accompanied by a glass of exquisite French wine.

The charming atmosphere, dim lighting, and delectable flavors combine to create a memorable and intimate dining experience for couples.

Champagne and Oysters in the Champagne Region

Embark on a romantic journey to the Champagne region of France, renowned for its sparkling wines. Visit a picturesque vineyard and savor a glass of fine Champagne accompanied by freshly shucked oysters.

The combination of the crisp, effervescent Champagne and the briny. Delicate oysters creates a luxurious and romantic pairing that epitomizes the elegance and indulgence of French cuisine.

Picnic Along the Seine River

Experience a romantic picnic along the scenic banks of the Seine River in Paris. Purchase an assortment of artisanal cheeses, freshly baked baguettes, and gourmet treats from local markets or specialty stores.

Find a picturesque spot by the river. Spread out a blanket, and savor the delicious flavors while enjoying the iconic views of Paris. The combination of delectable French delicacies, the tranquil ambiance of the river. The company of your loved one make for an enchanting and memorable dining experience.

Influence of the French Language on Creating a Feeling of Love

There is no doubt that the French have long been associated with romance. From the picturesque streets of Paris to the charming countryside. There is something about the French language that seems to exude love and passion.

Perhaps it is the way the words roll off the tongue or the emphasis on soft, romantic sounds like “ooh” and “ahh.” Whatever the reason, there is no denying that the French language has played a significant role in creating this feeling of love.

From the sonnets of Charles Baudelaire to the poetry of Victor Hugo . Language has been used to express some of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching emotions known to humankind. So, it’s no wonder that people around the world flock to France in search of love and romance.

The French language is truly a language of love, and it never fails to captivate and enchant those who hear it.

In conclusion

After delving into the origins of the moniker “City of Love,” it’s clear that France has earned its reputation as a romantic destination. From the glamour and allure of Paris to the quaint charm of the French countryside. There is an undeniable magic to the air in France that has captured the hearts of countless travelers.

The French have long been known for their passion and appreciation for the finer things in life. This translates seamlessly into their approach to love and romance. The city’s beautiful architecture, delicious cuisine, and world-renowned art and fashion scenes provide the ideal setting for love to blossom.

So it’s no wonder why France, with all its romance and charm, is hailed as the ultimate destination for lovers.

We are here out of a desire to help and of course out of a great love for France. Our goal is to help you find everything you are looking for under one roof, to get the most out of your vacation in France, without having to travel all over the web.

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15 French Idioms About Love That’ll Make You Go “Aww”

France is renowned the world over for being romantic, with Paris receiving the nickname The City of Love. But what is it that makes this country so romantic? Is it the architecture? The food? The films? Or could it be the language itself? 

A lot of English speakers know very little French, but they usually know je t’aime. And going back a generation or so it was quite frequent for English speakers to call a condom a “French letter” (conversely, the French would call these an “English letter”).

Let’s explore the French language of love further by looking at 15 French idioms about love that’ll make you go “aww” – we’ll even throw in a few strange ones from other French-speaking countries from around the world.

French idioms about love

1. avoir un cœur d’artichaut .

Translation : To have an artichoke heart

This French idiom about love is used to describe a person who falls in love with everyone they meet. In other words, they fall in love quickly and easily. 

This phrase originates from a proverb from the late 19th century which was “cœur d’artichaut, une feuille pour tout le monde”. This translates into English as “artichoke heart, a leaf for everyone”.

Essentially, it is symbolic in that you can imagine a person peeling off artichoke leaves and giving them to everyone they love.

Florence a un cœur d’artichaut. Elle change de petit copain chaque semaine!

Florence falls in love with everyone she meets. She changes boyfriends every week!

2. Mon petit chouchou

Translation : my little cabbage

With their love of food, it’s not surprising to us that there are lots of French idioms about love that incorporate foods. French people often refer to those dear to them as mon petit chouchou or mon petit chou . 

In English, we wouldn’t call someone ‘my little cabbage’, we might hear people use “honey” or “sweet pea”, which is the closest you might get while using a food item!

Bonne nuit mon petit chouchou

Goodnight honey

3. Vivre d’amour et d’eau fraiche

Translation : To live on love and fresh water

Often, when a person falls in love, they will forget everything – sometimes they even forget to eat! This French idiom about love is often used in the negative with people saying, “you can’t live on love and fresh water alone”. 

In English, we might hear people say, “love won’t pay the bills” or for a more positive spin (and a Beatles song title!), we might say “all you need is love”.

Example : 

On ne peut pas vivre d’amour et d’eau fraiche!

You can’t live on love alone!

4. Avoir un coup de foudre 

Translation : To have a lightning strike

As far as French idioms about love go, this one really strikes a chord – to use an English idiom! The English equivalent of this French phrase about love is “to fall in love at first sight”.

I simply love how imaginative the French idiom is. If you’ve ever fallen in love at first sight, it can feel like you’ve been hit by a bolt of lightning!

C’était un coup de foudre entre les deux!

For them, it was love at first sight.

5. Se prendre un râteau

Translation : to take a rake This phrase isn’t a positive one, unfortunately. But, a person’s love life is rarely plain sailing. If someone uses this phrase it means they have been rejected by someone they were interested in. 

Ça s’est passé bien avec Nathalie? Non. Je me suis prise un râteau!

Did it go well with Natalie? No, I got knocked back.

6. S’envoyer en l’air

Translation : To throw yourself in the air

French idioms about love are often very figurative, and the phrase s’envoyer en l’air is an example of this. When a French person says they threw themselves in the air, it means they ‘got laid’.

In other words, it’s a more casual and informal way of saying they had sex.

Nico, il sait bien comment s’envoyer en lair!

Nico knows all too well how to get laid!

7. Avoir un ticket avec

Translation : to have a ticket with

This is a fairly recent French idiom about love that dates to the mid-20th century. When someone has ‘a ticket with’ another person, it means they are into someone or they have a thing for someone. 

Regarde, je pense que Claire a un ticket avec le barman!

Look, I think that Claire has a thing for the barman!

8. Être fleur bleue

Translation : to be a blue flower

If you’re described as being a blue flower in French, it means you’re a little sentimental or soppy and perhaps naïve.

What was, in the 19th century, quite a romantic expression, being a blue flower is now seen somewhat negatively. 

Où as-tu appris à être aussi fleur bleue?

Where did you learn to be so soppy?

9. Voir la vie en rose

Translation : to see life in pink

As for French idioms about love, this one could apply to many things – not just your love life. This phrase was brought to life by the French singer Edith Piaf, who made it her signature song. It was written in 1945 and articulates themes of romance, love and resilience.

Its release shortly after the end of World War II meant it became somewhat of an anthem since its lyrics were all about finding love after a difficult time. 

Now, the phrase is used in a similar way to the English expression “to see life through rose-tinted spectacles”. 

Example (taken from the lyrics of La vie en rose ):

Quand il me prend dans ses bras Il me parle tout bas Je vois la vie en rose

When he takes me into his arms He speaks to me softly And I see life through rose-tinted spectacles

10. En pincer pour quelqu’un

Translation : pinching for someone

This French idiom about love is similar to the expression ‘avoir un ticket’ as mentioned above. In English, we’d say things like ‘to have a crush on someone’ or ‘to have the hots for someone’.

I love how expressive the French phrase is, though. You can almost imagine someone playfully pinching someone they’re interested in to gain their attention!

Marion en pince pour Jacques 

Marion has a crush on Jacques

11. Déclarer sa flamme

Translation : to declare your flame

This French idiom about love goes quite nicely with our number four above ( un coup de foudre ) in that love, flames and electricity seem to go quite nicely together. 

When you ‘declare your flame’ in France, it means you declare your love for someone.

While we don’t use the word flame in exactly this way in English, we do use it when talking about ‘an old flame’ – as in someone we used to be in love with.

Il a déclaré sa flamme.

He declared his love for her/him.

French idioms about love from elsewhere in the French-speaking world

As we know, French isn’t just spoken in France and there are some great French idioms about love in other francophone countries too. Let’s take a look at a few.

12. Être kaoté – Burkina Faso

Translation : to be knock-outed

In Burkina Faso, if you are kaoté , you are madly in love. Sometimes when you’re in love you can feel a bit winded or that you’ve done a few rounds with Mike Tyson!

13. Avoir un coup de soleil – Haiti

Translation : to get sunburned

The Haitians say you get sunburned when you have a crush on someone. It’s as if they’re saying someone is so hot they can burn you!

14. Glisser pour quelqu’un – Cameroon

Translation : to slip for someone

In Cameroon, they have a unique expression about love – glisser pour quelqu’un . Essentially, if you’re slipping for someone, you are falling in love with them.

In English, the expression “falling head over heels” gives you a similar way of looking at it.

15. Frencher son chum/sa blonde – Canada

Translation : to French kiss one’s chum/blonde

In French-speaking Canada, they often like to mix English and French. This expression is a classic example of Franglais in action.

Chum and blonde are common ways of talking about boyfriends and girlfriends in Canada – even if the girlfriend isn’t actually blonde!

Final thoughts on French idioms about love

As we’ve seen, there are some really great French idioms about love! 

So, next time you go to a French-speaking county, perhaps try not to ‘be a blue flower’ and see ‘life in pink’. 

Remember, you can’t ‘live on love and fresh water alone’, so don’t worry about ‘taking a rake’ when you ‘have a ticket with’ someone! 

As the French poet Charles Baudelaire said, “ l’amour est une rose, chaque pétale une illusion, chaque épine une réalité ” (love is a rose, each petal an illusion, each thorn a reality). So, we can see how despite being romantic, the French are not naïve in their understanding of the challenges that love brings!

1 thought on “15 French Idioms About Love That’ll Make You Go “Aww””

I think french’s more difficult in pronounciation more than english….but I love learning french too

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Guest Essay

The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex

By Peggy Orenstein

Ms. Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”

Debby Herbenick is one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior. The director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of the pointedly titled book “Yes, Your Kid,” she usually shares her data, no matter how explicit, without judgment. So I was surprised by how concerned she seemed when we checked in on Zoom recently: “I haven’t often felt so strongly about getting research out there,” she told me. “But this is lifesaving.”

For the past four years, Dr. Herbenick has been tracking the rapid rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, or what is colloquially referred to as choking. Nearly two-thirds of women in her most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anonymized “major Midwestern university” said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter). The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four.

As someone who’s been writing for well over a decade about young people’s attitudes and early experience with sex in all its forms, I’d also begun clocking this phenomenon. I was initially startled in early 2020 when, during a post-talk Q. and A. at an independent high school, a 16-year-old girl asked, “How come boys all want to choke you?” In a different class, a 15-year-old boy wanted to know, “Why do girls all want to be choked?” They do? Not long after, a college sophomore (and longtime interview subject) contacted me after her roommate came home in tears because a hookup partner, without warning, had put both hands on her throat and squeezed.

I started to ask more, and the stories piled up. Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) A male freshman said “girls expected” to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a “simp.” And a senior in high school was angry that her friends called her “vanilla” when she complained that her boyfriend had choked her.

Sexual strangulation, nearly always of women in heterosexual pornography, has long been a staple on free sites, those default sources of sex ed for teens . As with anything else, repeat exposure can render the once appalling appealing. It’s not uncommon for behaviors to be normalized in porn, move within a few years to mainstream media, then, in what may become a feedback loop, be adopted in the bedroom or the dorm room.

Choking, Dr. Herbenick said, seems to have made that first leap in a 2008 episode of Showtime’s “Californication,” where it was still depicted as outré, then accelerated after the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” By 2019, when a high school girl was choked in the pilot of HBO’s “Euphoria,” it was standard fare. A young woman was choked in the opener of “The Idol” (again on HBO and also, like “Euphoria,” created by Sam Levinson; what’s with him ?). Ali Wong plays the proclivity for laughs in a Netflix special, and it’s a punchline in Tina Fey’s new “Mean Girls.” The chorus of Jack Harlow’s “Lovin On Me,” which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 chart for six nonconsecutive weeks this winter and has been viewed over 99 million times on YouTube, starts with, “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.” How-to articles abound on the internet, and social media algorithms feed young people (but typically not their unsuspecting parents) hundreds of #chokemedaddy memes along with memes that mock — even celebrate — the potential for hurting or killing female partners.

I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame). And, anyway, many experienced BDSM practitioners discourage choking, believing it to be too dangerous. There are still relatively few studies on the subject, and most have been done by Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues. Reports among adolescents are now trickling out from the United Kingdom , Australia , Iceland , New Zealand and Italy .

Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic, let alone young people who were new to sex and iffy at communication. That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.

Sexual trends can spread quickly on campus and, to an extent, in every direction. But, at least among straight kids, I’ve sometimes noticed a pattern: Those that involve basic physical gratification — like receiving oral sex in hookups — tend to favor men. Those that might entail pain or submission, like choking, are generally more for women.

So, while undergrads of all genders and sexualities in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys report both choking and being choked, straight and bisexual young women are far more likely to have been the subjects of the behavior; the gap widens with greater occurrences. (In a separate study , Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues found the behavior repeated across the United States, particularly for adults under 40, and not just among college students.) Alcohol may well be involved, and while the act is often engaged in with a steady partner, a quarter of young women said partners they’d had sex with on the day they’d met also choked them.

Either way, most say that their partners never or only sometimes asked before grabbing their necks. For many, there had been moments when they couldn’t breathe or speak, compromising the ability to withdraw consent, if they’d given it. No wonder that, in a separate study by Dr. Herbenick, choking was among the most frequently listed sex acts young women said had scared them, reporting that it sometimes made them worry whether they’d survive.

Among girls and women I’ve spoken with, many did not want or like to be sexually strangled, though in an otherwise desired encounter they didn’t name it as assault . Still, a sizable number were enthusiastic; they requested it. It is exciting to feel so vulnerable, a college junior explained. The power dynamic turns her on; oxygen deprivation to the brain can trigger euphoria.

That same young woman, incidentally, had never climaxed with a partner: While the prevalence of choking has skyrocketed, rates of orgasm among young women have not increased, nor has the “orgasm gap” disappeared among heterosexual couples. “It indicates they’re not doing other things to enhance female arousal or pleasure,” Dr. Herbenick said.

When, for instance, she asked one male student who said he choked his partner whether he’d ever tried using a vibrator instead, he recoiled. “Why would I do that?” he asked.

Perhaps, she responded, because it would be more likely to produce orgasm without risking, you know, death.

In my interviews, college students have seen male orgasm as a given; women’s is nice if it happens, but certainly not expected or necessarily prioritized (by either partner). It makes sense, then, that fulfillment would be less the motivator for choking than appearing adventurous or kinky. Such performances don’t always feel good.

“Personally, my hypothesis is that this is one of the reasons young people are delaying or having less sex,” Dr. Herbenick said. “Because it’s uncomfortable and weird and scary. At times some of them literally think someone is assaulting them but they don’t know. Those are the only sexual experiences for some people. And it’s not just once they’ve gotten naked. They’ll say things like, ‘I’ve only tried to make out with someone once because he started choking and hitting me.’”

Keisuke Kawata, a neuroscientist at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, was one of the first researchers to sound the alarm on how the cumulative, seemingly inconsequential, sub-concussive hits football players sustain (as opposed to the occasional hard blow) were key to triggering C.T.E., the degenerative brain disease. He’s a good judge of serious threats to the brain. In response to Dr. Herbenick’s work, he’s turning his attention to sexual strangulation. “I see a similarity” to C.T.E., he told me, “though the mechanism of injury is very different.” In this case, it is oxygen-blocking pressure to the throat, frequently in light, repeated bursts of a few seconds each.

Strangulation — sexual or otherwise — often leaves few visible marks and can be easily overlooked as a cause of death. Those whose experiences are nonlethal rarely seek medical attention, because any injuries seem minor: Young women Dr. Herbenick studied mostly reported lightheadedness, headaches, neck pain, temporary loss of coordination and ear ringing. The symptoms resolve, and all seems well. But, as with those N.F.L. players, the true effects are silent, potentially not showing up for days, weeks, even years.

According to the American Academy of Neurology, restricting blood flow to the brain, even briefly, can cause permanent injury, including stroke and cognitive impairment. In M.R.I.s conducted by Dr. Kawata and his colleagues (including Dr. Herbenick, who is a co-author of his papers on strangulation), undergraduate women who have been repeatedly choked show a reduction in cortical folding in the brain compared with a never-choked control group. They also showed widespread cortical thickening, an inflammation response that is associated with elevated risk of later-onset mental illness. In completing simple memory tasks, their brains had to work far harder than the control group, recruiting from more regions to achieve the same level of accuracy.

The hemispheres in the choked group’s brains, too, were badly skewed, with the right side hyperactive and the left underperforming. A similar imbalance is associated with mood disorders — and indeed in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys girls and women who had been choked were more likely than others (or choked men) to have experienced overwhelming anxiety, as well as sadness and loneliness, with the effect more pronounced as the incidence rose: Women who had experienced more than five instances of choking were two and a half times as likely as those who had never been choked to say they had been so depressed within the previous 30 days they couldn’t function. Whether girls and women with mental health challenges are more likely to seek out (or be subjected to) choking, choking causes mood disorders, or some combination of the two is still unclear. But hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation — judging by what research has shown about other types of traumatic brain injury — could be a contributing factor. Given the soaring rates of depression and anxiety among young women, that warrants concern.

Now consider that every year Dr. Herbenick has done her survey, the number of females reporting extreme effects from strangulation (neck swelling, loss of consciousness, losing control of urinary function) has crept up. Among those who’ve been choked, the rate of becoming what students call “cloudy” — close to passing out, but not crossing the line — is now one in five, a huge proportion. All of this indicates partners are pressing on necks longer and harder.

The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing. So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us. Nonfatal strangulation, one of the most significant indicators that a man will murder his female partner (strangulation is also one of the most common methods used for doing so), has somehow been eroticized and made consensual, at least consensual enough. Yet, the outcomes are largely the same: Women’s brains and bodies don’t distinguish whether they are being harmed out of hate or out of love.

By now I’m guessing that parents are curled under their chairs in a fetal position. Or perhaps thinking, “No, not my kid!” (see: title of Dr. Herbenick’s book above, which, by the way, contains an entire chapter on how to talk to your teen about “rough sex”).

I get it. It’s scary stuff. Dr. Herbenick is worried; I am, too. And we are hardly some anti-sex, wait-till-marriage crusaders. But I don’t think our only option is to wring our hands over what young people are doing.

Parents should take a beat and consider how they might give their children relevant information in a way that they can hear it. Maybe reiterate that they want them to have a pleasurable sex life — you have already said that, right? — and also want them to be safe. Tell them that misinformation about certain practices, including choking, is rampant, that in reality it has grave health consequences. Plus, whether or not a partner initially requested it, if things go wrong, you’re generally criminally on the hook.

Dr. Herbenick suggests reminding them that there are other, lower-risk ways to be exploratory or adventurous if that is what they are after, but it would be wisest to delay any “rough sex” until they are older and more skilled at communicating. She offers language when negotiating with a new partner, such as, “By the way, I’m not comfortable with” — choking, or other escalating behaviors such as name-calling, spitting and genital slapping — “so please don’t do it/don’t ask me to do it to you.” They could also add what they are into and want to do together.

I’d like to point high school health teachers to evidence-based porn literacy curricula, but I realize that incorporating such lessons into their classrooms could cost them their jobs. Shafia Zaloom, a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, recommends, if that’s the case, grounding discussions in mainstream and social media. There are plenty of opportunities. “You can use it to deconstruct gender norms, power dynamics in relationships, ‘performative’ trends that don’t represent most people’s healthy behaviors,” she said, “especially depictions of people putting pressure on someone’s neck or chest.”

I also know that pediatricians, like other adults, struggle when talking to adolescents about sex (the typical conversation, if it happens, lasts 40 seconds). Then again, they already caution younger children to use a helmet when they ride a bike (because heads and necks are delicate!); they can mention that teens might hear about things people do in sexual situations, including choking, then explain the impact on brain health and why such behavior is best avoided. They should emphasize that if, for any reason — a fall, a sports mishap or anything else — a young person develops symptoms of head trauma, they should come in immediately, no judgment, for help in healing.

The role and responsibility of the entertainment industry is a tangled knot: Media reflects behavior but also drives it, either expanding possibilities or increasing risks. There is precedent for accountability. The European Union now requires age verification on the world’s largest porn sites (in ways that preserve user privacy, whatever that means on the internet); that discussion, unsurprisingly, had been politicized here. Social media platforms have already been pushed to ban content promoting eating disorders, self-harm and suicide — they should likewise be pressured to ban content promoting choking. Traditional formats can stop glamorizing strangulation, making light of it, spreading false information, using it to signal female characters’ complexity or sexual awakening. Young people’s sexual scripts are shaped by what they watch, scroll by and listen to — unprecedentedly so. They deserve, and desperately need, models of interactions that are respectful, communicative, mutual and, at the very least, safe.

Peggy Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”

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An earlier version of this article misstated the network on which “Californication” first appeared. It is Showtime, not HBO. The article also misspelled a book and film title. It is “Fifty Shades of Grey,” not “Fifty Shades of Gray.”

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