Gleb Tsipursky Ph.D.

Don't Let Others Run Your Life!

3 research-based strategies to make sure you have te life you want and deserve.

Posted July 30, 2016

Back when I was in high school and through the first couple of years in college, I had a clear career goal.

I planned to become a medical doctor .

Why? Looking back at it, my career goal was a result of the encouragement and expectations from my family and friends.

My family emigrated from the Soviet Union when I was 10, and we spent the next few years living in poverty. I remember my parents’ early jobs in America, my dad driving a bread delivery truck and my mom cleaning other people’s houses. We couldn’t afford nice things. I felt so ashamed in front of other kids for not being able to get that latest cool backpack or wear cool clothes – always on the margins, never fitting in. My parents encouraged me to become a medical doctor. They gave up successful professional careers when they moved to the US, and they worked long and hard to regain financial stability. It’s no wonder that they wanted me to have a career that guaranteed a high income, stability, and prestige.

My friends also encouraged me to go into medicine. This was especially so with my best friend in high school, who also wanted to become a medical doctor. He wanted to have a prestigious job and make lots of money, which sounded like a good goal to have and reinforced my parents’ advice. In addition, friendly competition was a big part of what my best friend and I did - whether arguing with each other about life questions or playing poker into the wee hours of the morning. Putting in long hours to ace the biochemistry exam and get a high score on the standardized test to get into medical school was just another way for us to show each other who was top dog. I still remember the thrill of finding out that I got the higher score on the standardized test. I had won!

As you can see, it was very easy for me to go along with what my friends and family encouraged me to do.

I was in my last year of college, working through the complicated and expensive process of applying to medical schools, when I came across an essay question that stopped in me in my tracks:

“ Why do you want to be a medical doctor ?”

The question stopped me in my tracks. Why did I want to be a medical doctor? Well, it’s what everyone around me wanted me to do. It was what my family wanted me to do. It was what my friends encouraged me to do. It would mean getting a lot of money. It would be a very safe career. It would be prestigious. So it was the right thing for me to do. Wasn’t it?

Well, maybe it wasn’t.

I realized that I never really stopped and thought about what I wanted to do with my life. My career is how I would spend much of my time every week for many, many years, but I never considered what kind of work I would actually want to do, not to mention whether I would want to do the work that’s involved in being a medical doctor. As a medical doctor, I would work long and sleepless hours, spend my time around the sick and dying, and hold people’s lives in my hands. Is that what I wanted to do?

There I was, sitting at the keyboard, staring at the blank Word document with that essay question at the top. Why did I want to be a medical doctor? I didn’t have a good answer to that question.

My mind was racing, my thoughts were jumbled. What should I do? I decided to talk to someone I could trust, so I called my girlfriend to help me deal with my mini-life crisis. She was very supportive, as I thought she would be. She told me I shouldn’t do what others thought I should do, but think about what would make me happy. More important than making money, she said, is having a lifestyle you enjoy, and that lifestyle can be had for much less than I might think.

Her words provided a valuable outside perspective for me. By the end of our conversation, I realized that I had no interest in doing the job of a medical doctor. And that if I continued down the path I was on, I would be miserable in my career, doing it just for the money and prestige. I realized that I was on the medical school track because others I trust - my parents and my friends - told me it was a good idea so many times that I believed it was true, regardless of whether it was actually a good thing for me to do.

Why did this happen?

I later learned that I found myself in this situation in part because of a common thinking error which scientists call the mere-exposure effect . This term refer to our brain’s tendency to believe something is true and good just because we are familiar with it, regardless of whether that something is actually true and good.

Since I learned about the mere-exposure effect, I am much more suspicious of any beliefs I have that are frequently repeated by others around me, and go the extra mile to evaluate whether they are true and good for me. This means I can gain agency and intentionally take actions that help me toward my long-term goals .

don't rush things essay

So what happened next?

After my big realization about medical school and the conversation with my girlfriend, I took some time to think about my actual long-term goals . What did I - not someone else - want to do with my life? What kind of a career did I want to have? Where did I want to go?

I was always passionate about history. In grade school I got in trouble for reading history books under my desk when the teacher talked about math. As a teenager , I stayed up until 3am reading books about World War II. Even when I was on the medical school track in college I double-majored in history and biology, with history my love and joy. However, I never seriously considered going into history professionally. It’s not a field where one can make much money or have great job security.

After considering my options and preferences, I decided that money and security mattered less than a profession that would be genuinely satisfying and meaningful. What’s the point of making a million bucks if I’m miserable doing it, I thought to myself. I chose a long-term goal that I thought would make me happy, as opposed to simply being in line with the expectations of my parents and friends. So I decided to become a history professor.

My decision led to some big challenges with those close to me. My parents were very upset to learn that I no longer wanted to go to medical school. They really tore into me, telling me I would never be well off or have job security. Also, it wasn’t easy to tell my friends that I decided to become a history professor instead of a medical doctor. My best friend even jokingly asked if I was willing to trade grades on the standardized medical school exam, since I wasn’t going to use my score. Not to mention how painful it was to accept that I wasted so much time and effort to prepare for medical school only to realize that it was not the right choice for me. I really I wish this was something I realized earlier, not in my last year of college.

3 steps to prevent this from happening to you:

If you want to avoid finding yourself in a situation like this, here are 3 steps you can take:

  • Stop and think about your life purpose and your long-term goals . Write these down on a piece of paper.
  • Now review your thoughts, and see whether you may be excessively influenced by messages you get from your family, friends, or the media. If so, pay special attention and make sure that these goals are also aligned with what you want for yourself. Answer the following question: if you did not have any of those influences, what would you put down for your own life purpose and long-term goals? Recognize that your life is yours, not theirs, and you should live whatever life you choose for yourself. This approach is part of a broader strategy of dealing with common thinking errors by considering alternatives, which research shows is a very effective way for avoiding thinking errors such as the mere-exposure effect.
  • Review your answers and revise them as needed every 3 months. Avoid being attached to your previous goals. Remember, you change throughout your life, and your goals and preferences change with you. Don’t be afraid to let go of the past, and welcome the current you with arms wide open.

Gleb Tsipursky Ph.D.

Gleb Tsipursky, Ph.D. , is on the editorial board of the journal Behavior and Social Issues. He is in private practice.

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don't rush things essay

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Hey, don't rush it, the best things take time — especially when it comes to love, sometimes you can't always have what you want at this very moment. there is a time for everything..


"Why won't he make the first move already?" "Can you hurry up please?" "Will we ever move past the friend stage?"

You'll hear these questions typically from either yourself or another person, all around the same topic of rushing things. A lot of people lack patience. A lot of people rush the process. We live in a society where many people have an acquired taste for instant gratification. In a society where people find something they like and immediately go towards that. We, as a society, spend most of our lives seemingly rushing through it, ending up wanting to look back at the good old days.

I can definitely say I'm an impatient person. I definitely can say I have rushed into things sometimes, or have even gotten super excited for something. I have definitely experienced the urge of waiting and hoping everything turns out good. Hoping everything turns out to be in your favor. Having to wait is one of the most annoying things.

Whether it's having to watch the clock tick by or having to wait for the guy you love to realize your true feelings or even having to wait to get that dream internship you have always wanted. Sometimes you have to realize that the best things come to those who wait. Don't rush into things and let the wind take you towards your path. Of course, you should work for everything you want, but the things that can wait — let them happen on their own time.

Be patient for success.

Success is something that everyone wants. Everyone wants to get to the top or get that dream job they have always pictured in their lives. Or maybe it's success in building a family and finding the perfect one. People typically want to be the first one to do everything. The first one to become successful out of their friend group.

Instead of rushing to be the first one to do something, you should wait and give it time. Give it time to come to you and for you to reach your goal. Everything takes time and sometimes it's best not to rush what you want to be the best at. Being good at something can take plenty of time and practice. Making mistakes is another vital part of becoming successful since you can learn so many things from your mistakes.

Be patient for love.

Love. A four letter word with so much meaning. Everybody typically has three great loves in their lives, or maybe just one if you're lucky. Anything worth having is worth both working and waiting for. Why would you ever want to rush something that you want to last forever? Deciding whether to wait for love or go find it yourself is definitely a difficult decision.

Life was created to enjoy. It is not meant to be rushed through or to be passed by. Life is meant to be enjoyed and meant to be savored — just like finding the right one should be. Sometimes going through trials and challenges is all part of the journey. Sometimes you have to learn a couple of things in order to achieve greatness in a relationship.

Personally, I have always wanted a relationship in which I actually loved the person, growing up. It wasn't until my senior year of high school when my best friend admitted his feelings for me. I never acted on the fact that he was my best friend and a person I wouldn't mind being with until he told me around the end of my senior year. I had to wait for a perfect relationship I had always wanted, but it was one of the best times of my life. Sometimes really good things come to those who wait.

Think of all the characters from TV shows who waited for love.

Ross and Rachel from "Friends!"

"He's her lobster!" Ross and Rachel are one of the main relationships in the show "Friends" and they actually don't get their happy ending until the very last episode. From the moment Rachel saw the video of Ross at their prom to the whole "we were on a break" situation, these two characters have been through a lot and many different plot twists.

It all started with a high school crush Ross had on Rachel, and she never seemed to notice him. In the pilot of the show, Ross and Rachel reconnect for the first time, and it's obvious that Ross has a hopeless adult crush on Rachel once again, showing that his feelings never really went away. Soon enough, Rachel finds out about the way Ross feels, and surprisingly feels the same way towards him.

Out of luck, she is too late when telling him because when he comes back from China, he has a girlfriend, but Rachel is the one that is now stuck with the hopeless adult crush. Timing doesn't seem to be of the essence for them. Much later on and a pro/con list made by Ross about Rachel and his girlfriend, Julie, they start to date. Their relationship is going great, until Ross becomes jealous of Rachel's co-worker Mark and they kinda sorta split up, but get back together the next morning — which leads to one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the entire show when Rachel finds out that Ross slept with Chloe, the hot copy girl while they were "on a break."

Phew, not even done yet. Following this, they date again and break up, get married and get divorced, Rachel dates one of his best friends, they have a baby together, and finally in the final episode end up together. It seems as if they were always meant to be — isn't it a great love story?

Ross: "It's always been you, Rach."

Ross: "You were worth the wait."

Rachel: "Just so you know, with us? It's never off the table."

Ross: "You and I both know we are perfect for each other."

Jim and Pam from "The Office!"

Have you watched Jim crush hard on Pam while she was engaged? You probably thought that things would never work out for them, but they ended up working out perfectly. These two basically grew up together through their twenties and they watched one another learn about life and grow through their experiences. Also, they waited for one another: when Pam was with Roy, Jim built a friendship with her, and later on when Jim was with Karen, Pam made sure to nurture that friendship, until they had another chance to be together.

They also have such a strong friendship throughout the seasons, whether it's with pranking Dwight constantly or just talking to each other about all of the office gossip. Typically, when two people are together all of the time, they get tired of each other, but in this case, the two love working with one another. Starting with Pam's ex-fiance, Roy, and ending with their career goals, they always manage to come back to one another, even when that means sacrificing their desires. When Jim started a company based out of Philadelphia, it took a huge toll on their relationship. However, the moment that Jim realized it might cost him, Pam, he stopped everything and moved back home to her.

Jim: "Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing I ever had to do, which was just to wait. Don't get me wrong — I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit in front of friends and family that I do know how to make a photocopy. I didn't need your help that many times. And do you remember how long it took you to teach me to drive stick?"

Pam: "Like a year."

Jim: "I've been driving stick since high school. For a really long time, that's all I had. Little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think, even then I knew, I was waiting for my wife ."

Lucas and Peyton from "One Tree Hill!"

Lucas and Peyton are one of the main relationships in "One Tree Hill." Sure, they had their ups and downs, and at times, we were grinding our teeth wondering if these two would actually end up together. Even when they first meet, they were dating other people, but true love prevails in Tree Hill, and the two ended up together. Peyton was the girl who always believed that everyone leaves, but she ended up finding someone who stayed.

Lucas and Peyton may have gone their separate ways with other people at times, and Lucas even dated her best friend, Brooke, but like magnets, they always came back to each other. From the moment that Peyton thought Lucas didn't know her when her car broke down to when Lucas saved Peyton's life after she had gotten shot, their relationship ended up perfectly, with the two getting married and having a child together.

Lucas: "I've loved you since the first time I saw you. And this ring, and these words, are simply a way to show the rest of the world what has been in my heart for as long as I've known you. I love you, Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer. I always have and I always will."

Lucas: "When all my dreams come true, the one I want standing next to me — it's you. It's you, Peyton."

Peyton: "At this moment there are 6470818671 people in the world — 6 billion souls. And sometimes, all you need is one."

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7 new year clichés: break free, embrace change, those that everyone know.

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family . What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

1. "I will be serious about working out"

Are you? Odds are you will get that gym membership, go for a few weeks, and completely forget about it. You will realize that autopay is taking $80 out of your account and you either need to cancel or start going again. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in better shape, but do it at a pace that is right for you. Don't let the change in year dictate it.

2. "New year new me!"

This cliche is the most over used and most underdone. Every year we hear "New Year New Me!!", and the most that comes out of it is someone dyes their hair or gets a tattoo . Yes, these are life changing attributes to a person, and everyone should be commended for trying new things, but don't try to change you just because its a new year. Stay true to yourself.

3. "I'm going to be more outgoing!"

Being adventurous is always a great thing! Stepping out of your comfort zone is always exhilarating, but don't force yourself to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. So are you really going to go out, or will you continue to watch Netflix and go to the same restaurants. The choice is yours!

4. "I'm going to get more organized "

Trying to get organized is a great feat few of us can manage. It's always good to do a big spring cleaning, but trying to completely organize everything is trying to change how you live. I know when I try to do something like get a new planner, I either stick to it or I forget about it.

5. "I'm leaving my bad relationships in the past!"

Bad influences won't go away in your life if you wish them to stay in another year. Work hard at this one if you are going to make it one of your New Years cliches. Toxic relationships should stay in the past, but it is up to you to keep them out of your life.

6. "I'm going to party less"

Party as much as you want. There is nothing wrong of going out and having fun as long as you are safe doing it. If partying is what you enjoy doing, then that is okay. Not everyone conforms to that lifestyle, but if that is your thing there is no shame in that! Don't leave it in another year because you think you have to.

7. "I'm going to get more serious about my career/schooling"

This is the cliche that you should stick to. It's never a bad thing to be more focused on your career and school, as long as you don't lose sight of the important things. If you get serious, make sure you make time for your family, friends, and most importantly, yourself.

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it..

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Having just celebrated my birthday this past Thursday, the most common question I received from people all day and night was, “Is your birthday actually today?” I realized that, for many, they have the misfortune of either having a birthday in the summer , or on a day that wasn’t ideal for them to celebrate on.

Your birthday celebration is a special day, and it is important to make the most out of it. I decided to take the initiative and make a definitive list that will show you the best day to have a birthday, in descending order according to their rank:

If your birthday falls on a Monday, it just might be an unlucky year for you. Monday is, hands down, the worst day to have a birthday. Everyone else is focused on how stressful the week ahead of them will be, and are still recovering from the weekend. If you celebrate the weekend before, that’s too far in advance, and celebrating the weekend after feels too far away. It’s a lose/lose, unfortunately.

While not as unlucky as a Monday, a Tuesday is in a similar situation. Most are still feeling down as so much of the week lies ahead, and often, big assignments are due on Wednesday. Of course, a Tequila and TacoTuesday could be an option (for those turning 21 or older, of course), but that’s about the most you can do.

Taking the fifth spot is Sunday. By the time Sunday comes around, everyone’s pretty exhausted. However, it still is a very relaxing day, that would make for a pretty good birthday. You have the entire day to spend how you want, no class, few commitments, if any. Plus, you can always celebrate the night before. Your birthday technically starts at midnight, right?

4. Wednesday

Honestly, the most I can say about this is Wine Wednesday. The week is still young, though. Hopefully you have an easy Thursday and Friday ahead of you, however, if not, the birthday could go south. Either way, it’s definitely right in the middle in terms of the best day of the week to have a birthday on.

3. Thursday

I can speak from personal experience, this is a pretty great day to have a birthday. My 11 a.m. French exam the next morning wasn’t ideal, however, there’s nothing better than a Thirsty Thursday (again, 21 and up only). It gives you the whole weekend ahead of you. However, it’s right at the beginning of the weekend, and not everyone has the ability to celebrate on Thursday, as it is still a weeknight.

2. Saturday

Saturdays are special because a Saturday birthday is an all day affair. You celebrate from first thing in the morning, all the way through the night. You can grab a dinner with friends, the whole day is yours for the taking. The only downside is that it doesn’t lay right in the middle of the weekend, it’s on the last day.

The final consensus is that Friday is, in fact, the best day for your birthday to fall on. Right in the center of the weekend, you can really make anything you want out of your birthday. You’ve claimed the right to an entire weekend, and all of your week’s responsibilities come to a close at the end of your Friday school day. You can even skip that class you hate so much. Those who have a Friday birthday this year: consider yourself blessed.

In the end, a birthday is a birthday. No matter what day yours falls on, you have every right to live it up, and have yourself a day!

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to..

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics . While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

1. "I would go most anywhere to feel like I belong."

Hercules: "I Can Go the Distance"

Anyone can relate to feeling like you don't belong. From being picked last in gym class to not being as popular as another classmate, you probably understand, to some degree, what it's like to feel out of place. You would do anything to find a group of people or an activity where you feel like you belong and have a purpose.

2. "Tranquil as a forest, but on fire within."

Mulan: "I'll Make a Man out of You."

If people consider you to be very mellow, odds are you are just waiting to let it all out, especially if you are short. Never underestimate the power of a shorty.

3. "If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew you never knew."

Pocahontas: "Colors of the Wind"

The best way to understand other people better is to look at things through their eyes.

4. "I know we're different but deep inside us, we're not that different at all."

Tarzan: "You'll be in my Heart "

I think we all need this line after this last election. No matter who you or your neighbor voted for, remember that we are all humans and we should treat each other with love and respect.

5. "These guys don't appreciate I'm broke."

Aladdin: "One Jump Ahead"

This lyric never resonated with me until I came to college. I need all of these textbooks? What is that $20 fee even for? I'm broke guys.

6. "When will my life begin?"

Tangled: "When will my Life Begin?"

When I was in middle school, I thought I would experience the best time of my life in high school . When I got to high school, I just wanted to get to college to experience life on my own. Now that I am in college, I am still dependent on my parents for almost everything, because I can't afford anything even with a part-time job. I would just like to know when my life, a life where I can support myself, really will begin.

7. "That perfect girl is gone."

Frozen: "Let it Go"

I spent my entire life trying to be the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect Christian and the perfect person. I realize now that perfection does not exist. I can only aim to be the best version of me I can be. I became much more content with myself once I let the perfect version of myself go. That perfect girl is gone.

8. "Barely even friends, then somebody bends unexpectedly."

Beauty and the Beast: "Beauty and the Beast"

Many high school sweethearts know what it's like to have an acquaintance turn into a friend and then into a lover.

9. "I will ride, I will fly. Chase the wind and touch the sky."

Brave "Touch the sky"

A great song to get inspired, keep going, and work hard to achieve your dreams. Everything is possible if you are determined to make it happen.

10. "The men up there don't like a lot of blabber, they think a girl who gossips is a bore."

The Little Mermaid : "Poor Unfortunate Souls"

I had to make at least one of these lyrics sarcastic. Men, I know not all of you fall into this category, but a whole lot of you don't like long, deep conversations and you don't pay very much attention when it's not a subject you're interested in, like sports . Am I right, ladies?

11. "Forget about your worries and your strife."

The Jungle Book: "Bare Necessities"

This lyric is more inspiring than relatable. However, it does serve as a little reminder to stop worrying about things you cannot change.

12."If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

Cinderella: "A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes"

Never give up on your dreams. If a dream is easy to achieve, it is not a dream. It is a goal. If you give up on a dream, it was never a dream in the first place. It was a desire. If you work hard enough toward a dream, you can make it a reality.

13. "Anywhere I go, I'm home, if you are there beside me."

The Lion King 2: "Love Will Find a Way"

This song is probably not as well-known as the others on this list, however, The Lion King 2 is one of my favorite Disney movies. We all have someone in our lives that make even the worst places feel like home whenever he or she is around.

14. "Up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun they slave away."

The Little Mermaid: "Under the Sea"

You got that right, Sebastian.

15. "When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are, anything your heart desires will come to you."

Pinocchio: "When You Wish upon a Star"

This is probably the most well-known Disney lyric of all time. It was so inspiring and the music was so beautiful that Disney decided to use it at the beginning of all Disney movies. Disney was built on following your dreams. If there is one message that Disney communicates in every single Disney movie from Pinocchio to The Little Mermaid, it is "Follow your dreams."

The Six Most Iconic Pitbull Lyrics Of All Time

Mr. worldwide just wants to see you succeed..

It is no secret that Pitbull is a gifted artist, but many fail to remember that he can be a source of great inspiration as well. The following is a list of iconic Pitbull lyrics that we know and love. Read on to feel empowered — if you think you can handle it.

1. Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane / No, it's just me, ain't a damn thing changed. (From "Timber") Not a day goes by that I don't see Pitbull flying over my rooftop, dressed in white linen from head-to-toe and drinking a Capri Sun. If that image doesn't motivate you to be better, then nothing will.

2. Been around the world like the sun / I've seen more breast than your newborn son. (From "Shake Senora") Need to boost your resume? Trying to impress a colleague? Use this line. Watch them be amazed, first by your worldly experience and then by your rhyming ability. Thank Pitbull later.

3. And it's not our fault that we have all the ladies / But it's hard to see these ladies when your middle name's Equator / All around the globe, matter fact, see you later. (From "Celebrate") Take a lesson from the school of Mr. 305 — it doesn't have to make any sense, it just has to rhyme . Also, it is possible to have all the ladies, even with a middle name like "Equator."

4. In L.A. they get krazy / Miami they get krazy / In New York they get krazy / Atlanta they get krazy / In London they get krazy / In Paris they get krazy / In Rome they get krazy. (From "Krazy")

Pitbull wants you to never stop studying your map of the world. Learn the names of every city. Say them one after another, all the time. However, Pitbull also wants you to know that you can put that dictionary down. Spelling doesn't matter. Kraziness is universal.

5. Modern day Hugh Hef (uh yes) / Playboy to the death (uh yes) / Is he really worldwide? (uh yes). (From "Dance Again") Does Pitbull wait for someone to answer his questions? No, because he's a grown-ass man who knows the answers. Are you going to wait around for someone else to answer your questions, or are you going to be like Pitbull? Be like Pitbull. Be a grown-ass man who parenthetically answers his own questions.

6. This for anybody going through tough times / Believe me, been there, done that / But every day above ground is a great day, remember that. (From "Time of Our Lives") If Pitbull tells you to be thankful, then be thankful, dammit. After all, we live in an amazing time when a man who wears sunglasses indoors can make millions by listing the names of cities and rhyming Kodak with Kodak. Feel #blessed.

11 Essential Expectations for Becoming the Ultimate Cheermeister

Mastering festive expectations: tips to shine as your holiday cheermeister.

So you’ve elected yourself as this year's Holiday Cheermeister, there’s no shame in that. The holidays are your pride and joy, and you've taken on the responsibility to get everyone in the spirit. With only one week until Christmas , here are some things we expect from you, Cheermeister.

1. Counting down every second until the big day

2. Being the first to put up their Christmas decorations

3. planning all the holiday festivities for your crew, 4. forcing your holiday enthusiasm on others, 5. winning first place in every holiday sweater contest.

6. Giving the best secret Santa gifts (Puppies for everyone?)

7. Being the life of all the holiday parties

8. Getting defensive when someone says Christmas isn't the best holiday. Cheering on your friends through the last week before school vacation

10. Never missing the opportunity to rock out to Christmas's greatest hits

11. Lastly, not letting anything break your Christmas spirit!

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don't rush things essay

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Why we rush through life.

Meditation Coach,

It's easy to get caught up in the holiday rush, but what about the rush of everyday life? Life is speeding up, and with it, our inner angst. We want to cram in as much as we can and be productive, but at what cost?

I've often noticed that when I'm rushing, I'm not really present. I'm just focused on getting things done. I'm racing against the clock. It's a feeling of pushing against time, the present moment itself. It's exhausting and draining. While there's nothing wrong with rushing, we're not really home when we rush. We cannot be present and rush at the same time.

When we're rushing, we are living in a state of resistance. It produces a state of consciousness that often comes about when we're feeling anxious. It's a lack of willingness to be in the present moment. Have you ever noticed how rushing implies a feeling of lack? A lack of time, a lack of permission, a lack of space in the present moment.... even a lack of space within ourselves.

Why do we rush?

1.It's habitual: Rushing is our MO. We get a "rush" from rushing. It's unconscious and can be addictive. To see why it's habitual, read on.

2.To avoid: We don't want to feel our real feelings, or deal with our stuff. Constant movement is a distraction to deeper, underlying feelings that cause us dis-ease and discomfort.

3.Self-importance: We fear other people's judgments and perceptions of us. When we constantly exude a sense of urgency, we feel valuable in the eyes of others.

4.We're busy: Some things we have to do, especially if we're juggling multiple responsibilities. However, we unnecessarily fill up our time because we want to feel needed and productive. We value doing over being.

5.We feel unworthy: We tie our inherent self-worth to achievement, doing and productivity. We feel guilty when we slow down. We feel unworthy if we're not doing something.

6.Competition & control: We feel that if we slow down, we'll get run down and everyone will move ahead of us. We want to be first. We feel like we have to do everything, or life will fall apart.

7.We're lazy: It's easier to rush through life and be on automatic, than to slow down and make a conscious effort to be present. Being present takes energy and intention. Rushing allows us to live on the surface rather than go deep.

8.We feel pressure: We feel a constant pressure to perform. This can come from the voice of our parents or society, where we feel we need "to do" in order to "be loved." We feel the need to hurry up and cram everything in, in order to feel worthy of love. This can come from people pleasing and the need to prove ourselves.

9.False perception: The idea that the grass is greener somewhere else. The future is better than now. We feel like we're missing opportunities by slowing down.

It helps to know why we're rushing. A good question to ask is " What's the rush ?" or " Why do I need to rush right now ?"

Knowing what is causing us to push alleviates the pressure that comes from rushing. If you don't know, you can simply stop. Stop and take a breath. Invite some space in. Acknowledge to yourself, "I know I'm rushing right now," and invite yourself back to the present moment. It's a good time to practice self-compassion, and compassion for others who are cutting you off on the freeway!

To be present is to fully inhabit the moment, to slow down and pay attention to everything around us. Letting go of the inner rush allows us to experience higher states, like joy, connection and love. It takes courage to live inside the moment. It happens when we slow down and find inner stillness.

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don't rush things essay

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don't rush things essay

“Everything comes to you at the right time; don’t rush the process”

don't rush things essay

It can be easy to think that time is running out – that we need to act quickly, or we will miss out on something if we don’t make a snap decision.

While at times the above is correct, more often than not, we need to have faith that there is a plan for us, and that we should not rush any process, instead, we should wait for the good things to happen when they are supposed to happen.

With this in mind, we review the famous quote “everything comes to you at the right time; don’t rush the process”. It is a wise saying, and one that we fully believe in.

What does the quote mean?

The origin of this great quote is not known. But whoever did first utter these words, will have done so during a particularly wise moment of their life.

As the quote suggests, we should exert caution when we try and rush something. Maybe this is an assignment, a potential love conquest, a friendship, a project, or anything else that takes time.

This is particularly important when thinking of our mental health. So many people suffer from mental health problems at the moment – and it can seem that when you are stuck in a deep rut, that things will never get better.

You may be tempted to try radical things in an effort to get better. But ultimately, as the quote suggests, we need to sit back and let the process take place at its own pace.

As the quote suggests, everything will come to you at the right time. There is a deeper meaning behind all of the decisions we make, and good things take time to happen.

After all, the old saying that “a river cuts through a rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence” is always true. We need to persist, and have faith that things will turn out for the best.

As Christians, we fully believe that God has a plan for us all. It can be difficult if you have been struggling for a long time. But better times will follow.

It is perfectly understandable for you to feel differently, but even if you don’t believe in a form of higher power in this universe, we hope you have some belief that we all serve a purpose in this world.

When navigating life, we all need to show patience and faith – especially when going through difficult times. Periods of low mood and stormy scenarios will eventually pass.

We need to have faith that things will get better, while also having the patience to let this process take place. Patience is a virtue, and struggle is nature’s way of strengthening.

It is never a good idea to rush something in the short-term without thinking of the long-term consequences. By taking a step back, staying patient and having belief, everything will come to you at the right time.

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Writer Unboxed

Why You Don’t Need to Rush Your Writing

By Meg Rosoff   |  September 17, 2014  |  41 Comments


In my life I have learned to rock-climb, ski, speak French (all badly). I was deputy press secretary for New York State in Dukakis’ bid for the presidency in 1988, a job I got through volunteering in hopes of meeting a nice single guy.  I worked at The New York Times back when the presses were still in the basement of the building on 43 rd Street, was fired from six ad agencies and spent two years at People Magazine. I went to horse camp, worked on advertising shoots so I know what gaffers and sparks do, how difficult casting is to get right, and how boring most of the time on set is.

I went fox hunting once and jumped a five bar fence. Terrified. With my eyes closed.

I didn’t meet my husband till I was 32 so I know lots about wild disastrous relationships (most of which I couldn’t possibly discuss in public).

I spent a decade racing 30-foot sailboats and flying in tiny Cessna planes with my best friend’s rich husband. I was never much of a sailor, but I could take orders fairly well. OK, slightly-below-average well.

I’ve crossed the Canadian Rockies in a helicopter, paddled a kayak next to a giant sea lion in Desolation Bay, picked oysters and mussels and clams out of the sea and eaten them that day (on an advertising shoot). I’ve been to book festivals in China, New Zealand, Germany, France, Italy, Armenia, Scotland, Wales and Texas.

I survived 18 hours of childbirth and conversations about drugs and sex and body image with my teenager.

I had breast cancer, chemotherapy and radiation, lost all my hair and didn’t know if I was going to die. I wrote most of a book that year.  I inherited the family depression gene.

I’ve ridden a horse through the Black Mountains in Wales, seen a moose a few feet away, nearly passed out drunk at a Harvard “final club”, sang Monteverdi in Chartres Cathedral and Beethoven’s Ode to Joy with the Boston Symphony.

I saw Talking Heads and Elvis Costello and the Clash in tiny clubs in NY and London. I played bass guitar at CBGBs in NY and miniature golf with David Letterman in his office.

I met with a Hungarian policeman at 10pm in his tiny bleak office while two teenagers explained in Hungarian that I couldn’t afford the bribe he required.

I watched a black foal born to a pure white horse at the Lipizzaner stud in Szilvásvárad, Hungary. I took up riding again at age 50. Since then, I’ve had five concussions and no longer jump.

I studied steel sculpture with Anthony Caro, but didn’t understand a word he said for the entire time I was on the course. It discouraged me from ever taking art seriously as a profession, which was no bad thing.

I learned to play the piano, badly.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

I’m not very good at most of the things I’ve done in my life.  Except for writing. I’m a fairly good writer. I wrote my first book when I was 46.

All my life I despaired at being a jack-of-all-trades and master of none, but guess what? Everything I’d ever done proved fantastically useful when I started writing.

Which is by way of saying that when I tell my students not be in a hurry, I mean it. Because the more you live, the more you’ll know — in your head and in your heart. And the more you know, the more your book will come from a deep place of real resonance — in other words, not Wikipedia.

It’s also nice to have a life to look back on, just in case the book doesn’t work out.

Do you find yourself rushing to write? If you do, what helps you to slow down, to see the living as fuel?

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Meg Rosoff was born in Boston, educated at Harvard and worked in NYC for ten years before moving to England permanently in 1989. She wrote her first novel, How I Live Now, (released late 2013 as a feature film starring Saoirse Ronan), at age 46. Her books have won or been shortlisted for 19 international book prizes, including the Carnegie medal and the Michael J Printz award. Picture Me Gone, her sixth novel, was shortlisted for the 2013 National Book Award . She lives in London with her husband and daughter.


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Thanks for this.

I also came to writing later, with only a handful of partial manuscripts and short stories gathering dust from two decades of far less exciting professional ventures. But I’d kept my eyes and ears and heart open along the way so was in a better and perhaps wiser place by then.

What I’m learning now is the ideas to drive a new work take time with me too. Neither good or bad; it is simply that way, at least for now. So I find myself needing to accept I may never be an author who can crank out a new work every year or two. Perhaps that’s frowned upon these days, but you work with what you have.

Fortunately the story is coming together, but at its own pace – an exercise in faith, and another lesson in not rushing.

Thank you again for your well-timed encouragement. Be well.

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I too am a consummate amateur, though certainly not to the scale and global reach you have been, so I appreciate this post. :) It’s hard not to feel the rush, but you’re so right that the writing is fuller and richer and truer for all the life experience a writer can put behind it.

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A life well lived is a treasure beyond any other.

Simply beautiful, Meg.

Denise Willson Author of A Keeper’s Truth and GOT

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What Denise said above! This is a beautiful post. I also came to writing later in life and although I feel my mortality, I love the way my life is unfolding. There is much to reflect upon … and writing has been a wonderful gift. An anchor even as I take flight.

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Wow! Truly an incredible breadth and depth of experience. Vibrant and life affirming. Carpe diem indeed!

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Wow, Meg. These are the words I need to hear right now. I am one of the (seeming) minority of writers who prize going slow and enjoying the view, believing that the work will add up with rich layers of living.

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You studied with Anthony Caro? You rock climb and crew sailboats? You were at CB’s in the early days? Lady, we should talk. We have interests in common.

Mostly, though, we should talk about writing. Will you be at the Un-Conference? Whether or not you are, thanks for this post. I agree. No need to rush.

Selling books has, for five or six years, been a brutally difficult business. Recession weary and price hammered consumers are demanding much for $25 and high volume for $2.99. We’re only now starting to come out of that time and understand the new landscape of book retailing.

Take it slow and use the time to build stronger stories. I’m with you. Now, about setting a spinnaker…

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See you there, Donald. x

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Love, love, love this piece. I was grinning the whole time, even more so when I realized the point you were making.

Oddly, some reality shows have helped me remember not to be in a rush. I haven’t watched American Idol in many seasons, but I remember after they lowered the age limit, there were all kinds of kids auditioning who were good singers, but who would really have benefited from some seasoning, from some performance and life experience. They should have waited. Same thing with some of the dancers on So You Think You Can Dance. When I feel the panic of “it has to be NOW,” I think of those kids and remember that it is rarely a crime to wait, and is usually a benefit.

Also, being an editor helps me slow down, because it makes me more aware of what a good editor can bring to my own work (because I know what a difference I can make in someone else’s work).

That said, are you just the best party guest ever?

I’m nearly always the first person to leave a party, Natalie. So the answer to that last question is NO! Agree with you totally on all that American Idol stuff. Failures at 15. Or worse, successful at 15. Where do you go from there?

I didn’t mean life of the party, but the best person to sit with and prod you to tell stories of all those many different things. I was thinking more of other people enjoying you, than you enjoying a party (which are often two entirely different things) :-)

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My children constantly asked, “So what’s next, Mom. What are you going to do now.?” So many have already expressed my views and feelings. All I can say is yes, yes, yes. I could never be writing my present book without the life I have led.

My children constantly asked, “So what’s next, Mom. What are you going to do now?” So many have already expressed my views and feelings. All I can say is yes, yes, yes. I could never be writing my present book without the life I have led.

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Love love love this line from your essay: It’s also nice to have a life to look back on, just in case the book doesn’t work out. Terrific advice!!

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Absolutely wonderful. A poignant portrayal of a life well-lived and enjoyed. Thank you for sharing this (and your talent) with us.

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Bravo Meg. I really enjoyed your post. It’s encouraging for those of us arriving late at the writing table, with at least a snootful of living to our credit!

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Meg, as Mark Twain would say, “This one’s a corker!” Lovely stuff.

As an old man already, I won’t take up horse-jumping (does the horse stand still when you jump over it?), but you have inspired me to buy a submarine.

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“But I’m too busy writing about people living to live.” Thank you for showing me the error of my ways, Meg. : )

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Quite beautiful… X

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It’s difficult to imagine what may still be on your bucket list.

Is your memoir in the making?

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The important thing is that you have lived. Lived a rich, full, blessed life – and what a story!

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I LOVE this.

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Meg, what a glorious, inspirational life you are living. Wonderful post!

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Thanks Meg. This post is too fabulous for words and goes directly into my inspiration file—after I print out a copy for my wall!

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Wow…you be’d busy!

True it is that the experiences we experience, the more experienced the writing sounds. And that’s the voice of experience.

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This reminds me of something a friend once told me years ago. She said that most writers don’t create their best work until they are in their 40’s or 50’s. We were in our twenties at the time and I thought she was just making an excuse to put off her writing, but now I see her wisdom.

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A late start as well. But I haven’t had the adventures you have had. Different in their own right. The twists and turns of the mind is great for changing mundane into manic. Loved your post, found out I’m not the only one. Thank you.

Great post. The timing was perfect.

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This is one of thew best blogs / articles i ever read on f’book!

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Ah, yes. Ditto. Kudos.

I did not rush to write myself – and that’s exactly what you write, isn’t it…yourself.

I’ve just published my debut mystery, THE BUTTERFLY AFFAIR, which is no saccharine title. The ancient Greeks viewed the butterfly as a soul named Psyche, right? At 64…sigh…goes so fast, time. Twilight Zone stuff. But I’ve also lived a life, and the novel holds some of that.

So kudos to both of us. If you’ll send me your mailing address, Meg, I will send you my book.

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And the thing is Meg you have very nearly as many years ahead of you as you do behind you ….

Now there’s a terrifying thought…..!

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I didn’t discover my desire to write my story until my late fifties. Life’s complexities have cooled me down recently. Your post lit my fire again. My story is quite complex, as am I and has ripened to the point of harvesting.

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Can you be my new hero? Seriously, you lived an awesome life. I live like a monk just reading and writing. I always could use more inspiration to get out there and live.

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Great post – very encouraging, but I must Ask: what year did you work at People? I worked there in 1989. Small world.

I’m older than you. It was about 1981-83.

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Meg – Reading your great post it hit me: What do you do in your spare time?

Write, I suppose?

Any hobbies . . . not already listed?

I spend most of my spare time with two active working dogs (lurchers, they’re called) and riding horses. It’s more than a full time job in itself, and for a while I told myself I was going to get a horse for my 60th birthday, but now I’m not so sure if I can take the guilt. So I share other people’s horses, which is fine for now!

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What a great post. Jill-of-all-trades and master of none–fit me to a T until I realized I do, like you, have a knack for writing, as well as languages. And now, I like racking up other skills and experiences to keep my life full and my brain humming. You’re right–at least I’ll have something to fall back on!

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I need to write this same essay for myself. Sometimes I forget that I have done some amazing things in my life: gone to Alaska, assembled Thighmasters, worked as a ski bum, etc.

I started writing professionally in my 20s as a reporter, getting into it totally by accident. It was only later I started writing more creatively, and I still, in my mid-40s, don’t feel like I’ve hit my stride.

Sometimes I find when a project is just not coming out, it needs to ferment a bit longer. When I give it time, it flows when it is supposed to. It’s hard not to try to force it to be on my schedule, though.

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Wonderful article! Couldn’t have said it better myself. And I bet there was a lot more, but you need to wait for a few people to pass on before you can tell. Well, that’s true in my case. LOL. I have had a very complicated life, too, and was 54 when I first published – Indie of course, by the time you reach 54 you don’t let anyone tell you what to do and especially what to write. All three of my books have been in the Amazon top ten at some stage and support me handsomely, so no complaints or regrets here. The point you make is spot on – the more you LIVE, the better you WRITE, and handling complex plots and characters is a breeze after a complex life.

So pleased I found you amongst the zillions of tweets. Cheers!

C. A. Hocking


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don't rush things essay

One important piece of advice about life I'll give you is this: Take it slow. It can be so easy to get caught up in this fast-paced world, and to run from one destination to the next. Especially with a cup of coffee in hand, it's possible to respond to a bunch of text messages in just a few minutes and send in your assignments for class, too. But, just because it's possible, doesn't necessarily mean you should do it. Not every situation needs to be a race against the clock, and you'll realize that there are some things you shouldn't rush in life . Let's dig into that, shall we?

The truth is, as a 20-something, you likely feel like you're in a race against time. Your best friends and family members are asking you questions about your professional and personal life. They're tossing around phrases like, "what's next," and "five-year plans." You may have some answers, but you don't have it all figured out quite yet. That leaves you feeling a little confused about the future.

You may start comparing yourself to others and looking at the real world as one big competition. Stop that right now! Know that you're not supposed to have it all figured out. In fact, it's much better to move at your own pace with these five things.

don't rush things essay

First things first: Don't rush the process of finding and landing your dream job. Sure, it would be ideal to write for your favorite magazine or work for that renowned hospital down the street, straight out of college. But, it may not happen — and that's totally OK. Here's why.

You still have a lot to learn in your field. There may be other positions or opportunities that you're even more passionate about, but just don't know about yet. Take the time to explore those options, build your resumé, and become a well-rounded professional in your field. It'll be worth it in the long run, and help you to appreciate your title of being a #girlboss.

don't rush things essay

When I graduated college, I gave myself a timeline. I wanted to have a full-time job by the fall, and move out on my own around the same time. It didn't quite work out that way, but I'm so happy that it didn't. Little did I know, there are a lot of perks of living at home and continuing to share a space with your family.

For example, you save a lot of money by not rushing your apartment hunt. I was able to become more financially stable, and explore my career options at the same time. In addition, I learned more about patience, unconditional love, and what family truly means to me. Those are irreplaceable life lessons that I couldn't have learned otherwise.

don't rush things essay

In my opinion, it's beautiful and calming to think that everything that consumes our minds will come to us, the moment we shift our mental energy to something else — including love.

Now, you may be in a relationship, and have completely fallen head over heels. (Guilty.) But, if you're single right now and being asked about your personal life on the reg, then know that there's absolutely no rush.

The love story you're looking for will come to you when it's supposed to. Don't force love or a relationship that doesn't feel right in the meantime, just because you feel like you're in a race against time.

don't rush things essay

Learning from life's experiences and curveballs is essential to growing and becoming the best version of yourself. Give yourself the time and space to process what went well or not-so-well. If things didn't turn out the way you hoped they would, consider doing things differently the next time around.

If you didn't pay your rent bill on time because you impulsively bought a new pair of shoes, then sit down with your laptop and figure out your finances. Create a budget for yourself, and be proactive. If you started an argument with your best friends, then realize why and address any underlying issues. (And apologize!)

It'll pay off to focus on these aspects of personal growth, and make you feel more humble moving forward. Things might happen that are simply out of your control. But, do yourself a favor and take every opportunity you can to learn.

don't rush things essay

Last but not least, celebrate your little victories and don't let them pass you by. Toss some confetti in the air, or treat yourself to a dozen doughnuts from your favorite bakery in your hometown. Cheer yourself on.

You'll hit so many milestones in this decade of your life and beyond. You may land your dream job, or figure out how to cook chicken properly for the first time. That's major for you, even if somebody else has already been there and done that.

Truth is, you have to learn to say "who cares," and move forward down your own path. Plant flowers along the side of it and make it something beautiful for yourself. Life isn't a race, a competition, or a result of the clock — it's what you make of it. So, take it slow, enjoy your moments of success, and give yourself a chance to live your best life. (You'll thank me later for it.)

don't rush things essay

Don’t rush the process, good things take time. – Unknown

Don't rush the process, good things take time. - Unknown

It is essential to remember the old saying that a river cuts through a rock not because of its power, but because of its persistence. These simple lines highlight the motto of persistence and patience. In order to achieve success, any individual should learn to wait with patience.

Remember that time and tide wait for no one, and therefore right things will eventually fall in place at the right time. It is the duty of every individual to believe in his or her inner self and act accordingly. Remember that unnecessary rush will never build castles efficiently.

Learning to wait not only helps us to introspect our decisions or choices, but also give us the match today time skillfully correct the mistakes that we have committed in the past. If we rush the process, things will not only go wrong but also be worse.

In order to achieve big things in life, it is essential to take care of the smaller ones because a big thing is actually a massive collection of the smallest things in life. Remember that billions of tiny raindrops make a mighty ocean.

It is our common observation that good things often take enough time than usual kinds of stuff. We should also respect the healing power of time and abide by its rules and regulations. It is also essential to value time because that is what our lives are made up of. It is often useless to waste our time in unnecessary discussions and debates about faster success.

We should understand the value of waiting for good things because when we will achieve it, our happiness will not only be doubled but also it will be much sweeter.

We must learn to wait and accept life as it comes to us without complaining and nagging about harsh troublesome times. During tough times, it is also necessary to wait for the results and dedicatedly work hard to achieve our goals and dreams.

We should never compromise with our goals because today’s distraction may lead to tomorrow’s destruction. It is important to go by our own clocks as everyone on this planet has a different time and different timings to mature and grow. Life should never come to a complete standstill for anyone, and you need to maintain the flow correctly and efficiently.

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Don’t Rush This

don't rush things essay

I spent most mornings alone before we got our dog Toby. I get up an hour before Anne, and used to spend the time sitting on the couch, drinking coffee and reading before my morning run. It was my favorite time of the day, because it was all mine.

Now, I share the time with Toby. We wake up together, in the dark, and slip quietly out of the room. Toby sits by the couch, waiting for me to make my coffee, but the second I’m finished he stretches out, arches his back and waits for me to come lie down next to him. It’s our daily ritual, and the kind of thing I never thought I would do before he came into our lives.

Outside for his morning walk, we share a different sort of intimate moment. The streets are dark, quiet and empty, and we walk them in silence. Toby sniffs around and I wait patiently for him to find the perfect spot to go to the bathroom. After enough mornings like this, we know each other quite well – I lead Toby to his favorite spots, and he follows me, poop bag in hand, to the trashcan when he’s done. Perfect harmony between man and dog.

As the rest of the world wakes up, and other priorities come into the picture throughout the day, it becomes more difficult to appreciate the time I spend with Toby. I get impatient at his incessant sniffing around outside. I have less time for tug-of-war or rubbing his belly. Not now and come on become a much larger part of my vocabulary.

Whatever else I’m doing feels more important than paying attention to the dog.

Of course, deep down I know I’ll miss my mornings with Toby far more than the other things I’m rushing to get to. But I convince myself that there’s always tomorrow.

This past month, we celebrated Toby’s first birthday, a milestone that reminded me how fleeting our time is together. A meaningful chunk of his life is now over. Golden retrievers live to be roughly ten years old, and that’s all the time we get – assuming we get that much. It’s a difficult thought to sit with, but true nonetheless for every single dog owner out there.

Given that reality, the most important thing I can do with Toby is to be present.

Before going to sleep each night, the Stoic philosopher and Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius had a practice of tucking his kids into bed, and reminding himself to appreciate the moment:

“Don’t rush this. This might be the last time you do this. It’s not guaranteed that either of you will make it through the night.”

He recognized that spending time with his children was important, and something he would take for granted if he wasn’t careful. As Ryan Holiday says about the practice:

“There will come a time in your life – hopefully just because [your kids] are a little older, but it could be for more tragic reasons – when you would give literally anything for the opportunity to do that one more time.”

I like to think that my priorities always align with my values and what is most important to me, but dog ownership has made it clear that, despite my best efforts, I don’t always succeed. Reflecting on our relatively short time together helps to remind me that spending quality time with Toby is an urgent priority.

– Emmett

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The Case For Bad Coffee – Keith Pandolfi “Cheap coffee is one of America’s most unsung comfort foods. It’s as warming and familiar as a homemade lasagna or a 6-hour stew. It tastes of midnight diners and Tom Waits songs; ice cream and cigarettes with a dash of Swiss Miss. It makes me remember the best cup of coffee I ever had. Even though there was never just one best cup: there were hundreds.”

Expectations and Reality – Morgan Housel “We spend so much effort trying to improve our income, skills, and ability to forecast the future – all good stuff worthy of our attention. But on the other side there’s almost a complete ignorance of expectations, especially managing them with as much effort as we put into changing our circumstances.”

What I’m Listening To:

Rory Vaden on Building Your Brand and the Perfect Book Title – Elevate Podcast “Find your uniqueness so you can exploit it in the service of others.” 

The Rising – Bruce Springsteen ( Spotify , Youtube )


Semi-regular thoughts on the good life and personal growth.

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Quotes for you, your friends and family

The 30+ Best Don’t Rush Quotes

don't rush quotes

Don’t Rush Quotes – Have you ever rushed something? When people rush things, it can lead to a variety of results. Because of this, there are plenty of quotes that advise taking things slow and not rushing things. There are also plenty of ways someone can tell another to not rush things. While there is nothing necessarily wrong with rushing things, rushing everything can lead a person to miss certain things. It’s because of this that there are plenty of Don’t Rush Quotes like the following:

  • “Don’t rush on anything. When the time is right, it’ll happen.”
  • “Don’t try to rush things that need time to grow.” 
  • “Don’t try to rush progress. Remember — a step forward, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction. Keep believing.” – Kara Goucher
  • “Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it’ll happen.”
  • “Don’t rush what’s meant to be a slow and steady process.” 
  • “The best things in life are worth waiting for. Don’t rush, let things fall into place.”
  • “Don’t rush into something just because you are afraid to be alone.”
  • “Don’t rush anything. Good things take time.” 
  • “Don’t rush through your relationships. Take the time to build a strong foundation.” 
  • “Savor every moment, don’t rush anything. Life is too short to be in a hurry.”

More Don’t Rush Quotes

  • “Don’t be in a rush to get big. Be in a rush to have a great product.” –  Eric Ries
  • “Don’t try to rush things: for the cup to run over, it must first be filled.” – Antonio Machado
  • “Slow down and enjoy life. Don’t rush through it just to get it done.”
  • “You can’t rush something you want to last forever”
  • “Take your time, don’t rush things. Anything worth having is worth waiting for.”
  • “Just be patient. Let the game come to you. Don’t rush. Be quick, but don’t hurry.” – Earl Monroe
  • “Don’t rush to judge others. Get to know them first.”
  • “Take my hand and grow young with me. Don’t rush. Don’t sleep. Be a beginner. Light the candles. Keep the fire. Dare to love someone. Tell yourself the truth. Stay inside the rapture.” –  Marlena De Blasi
  • “Don’t rush through your day. Take time to appreciate the beauty around you.” 
  • “Don’t rush to be perfect. Embrace your flaws and learn from your mistakes.”
  • “Don’t rush to be something you’re not. Be patient and let your true self shine through.”
  • “Don’t rush to the finish line. Enjoy the journey and all the lessons it brings.” 
  • “Don’t rush your dreams. Work hard and let them unfold in their own time.” 
  • “Don’t rush to be in a relationship. Wait for the right person to come along.”
  • “Don’t rush to success, enjoy the journey.”

Other Lines About Not Rushing

  • “Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” –  St Francis de Sales
  • “Unreasonable haste is the direct road to error.” – Moliere
  • “Slow down. Rushing means you miss what’s right here.”
  • “Success is just around the corner, but I don’t want to rush into anything.” – Arfi Lamba
  • “Nothing good ever comes out of hurry and frustration, only misery.” – Auliq Ice
  • “One can only see clearly if one is going slowly. Quick motion creates a life-blur.” – Terri Guillemets
  • “There are some things that are just not worth rushing, especially something that you wish would last forever.”
  • “We have time, there’s no big rush.” – Jimi Hendrix

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Life Is About The Journey — Don’t Rush It

By Katie Rochelle

Anyone else always worried and consumed by what comes next? Constantly planning for a future, we aren’t even sure we will get. Rushing, racing, and competing against ourselves and others. I know this because this has been my life. This has been my constant battle. My biggest misery and fear.

What does come next? Will I get to the big things, the small things….?

These are the things that fill my head. Answers that I’m always searching for and signs I’m hoping to find. I don’t want to be the girl who missed out. That let something good get away. I don’t want to miss my train.

I’m sure we all think this. Because who really dreams of getting left behind or settling for a life half lived.

We’re all hoping for better days. Wishing on the next shooting star, that someday will be today, or tomorrow. That we’ll get there. We’ll find our way. More than anything, that we’ll learn to love the journey. No matter how narrow and complicated it may get, I want to love it.

But what if I told you that your better days are here. They are close and they are coming. That you must abandon your fears of missing out, losing and being left behind. That you must put your faith and trust in the journey. Your good days are among you. Your better days are here and your time is now.

Take a pause in your life and recognize what you’re surrounded by. Love the people who have stuck with you, loved you, and encouraged you. Those are the people you must carry with you in your journey. Those are the faces you’ll always need and the hugs that will always bring you home.

It won’t always be easy. But who wants easy? You will need others along the way. You will need friends that you can count on. That want to be a part of your life. That want to be a part of your journey with you.

You may be surprised at who shows up and who doesn’t, but you’ll be thankful for the way it turns out.

You’ll need these people to carry you and to love you; you the same to them. I’m here to tell you something you probably already know. Not everyone is going to make it out with you. Not everyone is going to be the person they were to you.

They will no longer serve the same purpose in your life. This will be one of the hardest things to accept and deal with. But you’ll handle it on your own terms. Smile when you think of them, be happy that you knew them, but carry on with your life.

I haven’t always loved the journey. I haven’t always taken the time to recognize the beauty amid the chaos. But, I’ve learned that the journey is what you make it. My journey is my journey. I can choose to love it or hate it. I choose to love it.

You should too. You should love your journey, because not all of us will get to finish it. You should cherish it. Embrace it and keep it close to your heart. String it along with you, like a paper trail. Smile when you can and speak light to those when you feel the need. Chase after the things that keep you alive. Love the journey, it’s yours for a reason.

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The Loss of Things I Took for Granted

Ten years into my college teaching career, students stopped being able to read effectively..

Recent years have seen successive waves of book bans in Republican-controlled states, aimed at pulling any text with “woke” themes from classrooms and library shelves. Though the results sometimes seem farcical, as with the banning of Art Spiegelman’s Maus due to its inclusion of “cuss words” and explicit rodent nudity, the book-banning agenda is no laughing matter. Motivated by bigotry, it has already done demonstrable harm and promises to do more. But at the same time, the appropriate response is, in principle, simple. Named individuals have advanced explicit policies with clear goals and outcomes, and we can replace those individuals with people who want to reverse those policies. That is already beginning to happen in many places, and I hope those successes will continue until every banned book is restored.

If and when that happens, however, we will not be able to declare victory quite yet. Defeating the open conspiracy to deprive students of physical access to books will do little to counteract the more diffuse confluence of forces that are depriving students of the skills needed to meaningfully engage with those books in the first place. As a college educator, I am confronted daily with the results of that conspiracy-without-conspirators. I have been teaching in small liberal arts colleges for over 15 years now, and in the past five years, it’s as though someone flipped a switch. For most of my career, I assigned around 30 pages of reading per class meeting as a baseline expectation—sometimes scaling up for purely expository readings or pulling back for more difficult texts. (No human being can read 30 pages of Hegel in one sitting, for example.) Now students are intimidated by anything over 10 pages and seem to walk away from readings of as little as 20 pages with no real understanding. Even smart and motivated students struggle to do more with written texts than extract decontextualized take-aways. Considerable class time is taken up simply establishing what happened in a story or the basic steps of an argument—skills I used to be able to take for granted.

Since this development very directly affects my ability to do my job as I understand it, I talk about it a lot. And when I talk about it with nonacademics, certain predictable responses inevitably arise, all questioning the reality of the trend I describe. Hasn’t every generation felt that the younger cohort is going to hell in a handbasket? Haven’t professors always complained that educators at earlier levels are not adequately equipping their students? And haven’t students from time immemorial skipped the readings?

The response of my fellow academics, however, reassures me that I’m not simply indulging in intergenerational grousing. Anecdotally, I have literally never met a professor who did not share my experience. Professors are also discussing the issue in academic trade publications , from a variety of perspectives. What we almost all seem to agree on is that we are facing new obstacles in structuring and delivering our courses, requiring us to ratchet down expectations in the face of a ratcheting down of preparation. Yes, there were always students who skipped the readings, but we are in new territory when even highly motivated honors students struggle to grasp the basic argument of a 20-page article. Yes, professors never feel satisfied that high school teachers have done enough, but not every generation of professors has had to deal with the fallout of No Child Left Behind and Common Core. Finally, yes, every generation thinks the younger generation is failing to make the grade— except for the current cohort of professors, who are by and large more invested in their students’ success and mental health and more responsive to student needs than any group of educators in human history. We are not complaining about our students. We are complaining about what has been taken from them.

If we ask what has caused this change, there are some obvious culprits. The first is the same thing that has taken away almost everyone’s ability to focus—the ubiquitous smartphone. Even as a career academic who studies the Quran in Arabic for fun, I have noticed my reading endurance flagging. I once found myself boasting at a faculty meeting that I had read through my entire hourlong train ride without looking at my phone. My colleagues agreed this was a major feat, one they had not achieved recently. Even if I rarely attain that high level of focus, though, I am able to “turn it on” when demanded, for instance to plow through a big novel during a holiday break. That’s because I was able to develop and practice those skills of extended concentration and attentive reading before the intervention of the smartphone. For children who were raised with smartphones, by contrast, that foundation is missing. It is probably no coincidence that the iPhone itself, originally released in 2007, is approaching college age, meaning that professors are increasingly dealing with students who would have become addicted to the dopamine hit of the omnipresent screen long before they were introduced to the more subtle pleasures of the page.

The second go-to explanation is the massive disruption of school closures during COVID-19. There is still some debate about the necessity of those measures, but what is not up for debate any longer is the very real learning loss that students suffered at every level. The impact will inevitably continue to be felt for the next decade or more, until the last cohort affected by the mass “pivot to online” finally graduates. I doubt that the pandemic closures were the decisive factor in themselves, however. Not only did the marked decline in reading resilience start before the pandemic, but the students I am seeing would have already been in high school during the school closures. Hence they would be better equipped to get something out of the online format and, more importantly, their basic reading competence would have already been established.

Less discussed than these broader cultural trends over which educators have little control are the major changes in reading pedagogy that have occurred in recent decades—some motivated by the ever-increasing demand to “teach to the test” and some by fads coming out of schools of education. In the latter category is the widely discussed decline in phonics education in favor of the “balanced literacy” approach advocated by education expert Lucy Calkins (who has more recently come to accept the need for more phonics instruction). I started to see the results of this ill-advised change several years ago, when students abruptly stopped attempting to sound out unfamiliar words and instead paused until they recognized the whole word as a unit. (In a recent class session, a smart, capable student was caught short by the word circumstances when reading a text out loud.) The result of this vibes-based literacy is that students never attain genuine fluency in reading. Even aside from the impact of smartphones, their experience of reading is constantly interrupted by their intentionally cultivated inability to process unfamiliar words.

For all the flaws of the balanced literacy method, it was presumably implemented by people who thought it would help. It is hard to see a similar motivation in the growing trend toward assigning students only the kind of short passages that can be included in a standardized test. Due in part to changes driven by the infamous Common Core standards , teachers now have to fight to assign their students longer readings, much less entire books, because those activities won’t feed directly into students getting higher test scores, which leads to schools getting more funding. The emphasis on standardized tests was always a distraction at best, but we have reached the point where it is actively cannibalizing students’ educational experience—an outcome no one intended or planned, and for which there is no possible justification.

We can’t go back in time and do the pandemic differently at this point, nor is there any realistic path to putting the smartphone genie back in the bottle. (Though I will note that we as a society do at least attempt to keep other addictive products out of the hands of children.) But I have to think that we can, at the very least, stop actively preventing young people from developing the ability to follow extended narratives and arguments in the classroom. Regardless of their profession or ultimate educational level, they will need those skills. The world is a complicated place. People—their histories and identities, their institutions and work processes, their fears and desires—are simply too complex to be captured in a worksheet with a paragraph and some reading comprehension questions. Large-scale prose writing is the best medium we have for capturing that complexity, and the education system should not be in the business of keeping students from learning how to engage effectively with it.

This is a matter not of snobbery, but of basic justice. I recognize that not everyone centers their lives on books as much as a humanities professor does. I think they’re missing out, but they’re adults and they can choose how to spend their time. What’s happening with the current generation is not that they are simply choosing TikTok over Jane Austen. They are being deprived of the ability to choose—for no real reason or benefit. We can and must stop perpetrating this crime on our young people.

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Guest Essay

Why Is Everything Suddenly Taylor Swift’s Fault?

don't rush things essay

By Jennifer Weiner

Ms. Weiner is a novelist. Her most recent book is “The Breakaway.”

Ask the people in your life to name a woman who’s got it good, with wealth and beauty and talent and true love, and I’d bet at least a few of them would name Taylor Swift.

Ms. Swift, the 34-year-old pop icon, who made history last Sunday as the only musician to win four best-album Grammy Awards, checks many of the important boxes. She is white and thin and blond in a world that continues to privilege whiteness and thinness and blondness. She’s a billionaire with an enviable real estate portfolio, a loyal coterie of girlfriends and, for the past five months or so, a handsome, cheerfully goofy N.F.L. player boyfriend who seems smitten with her. On Sunday, she may take a break from her worldwide Eras tour and fly in from Japan to watch him play in the Super Bowl. Hashtag blessed, right?

But if you spend 10 minutes on X or Threads, or eavesdropping on N.F.L. message boards or watching TikToks, you will notice that factions that do not agree about anything share an absolute certainty that Taylor Swift is trouble. She’s doing too much, except when she’s not doing enough, and she’s always doing it wrong.

I’m not the first to observe that a pretty blonde dating a handsome football player should, at least for white people of a certain age, evoke all the simpler bygone vibes (Friday-night lights, milkshakes with two straws, letterman jackets) that conservatives could want. Except — oops! — the pretty blonde endorses Democrats. And Travis Kelce, the football hero, appears in commercials for vaccines (bad) and Bud Light ( somehow worse ).

And why does she hog the spotlight at his games? She’s Yoko Ono-ing him and jinxing his team, the Kansas City Chiefs, except when she misses a game — and is still, somehow, jinxing the team, which made it to the Super Bowl anyway, proof right there, somehow, of a vast left-wing conspiracy.

Of course, anyone subjected to that much distilled man-cave fury should be beloved by the opposing team, the folks with dye in their hair and pronouns in their online biographies, right?

Think again.

Environmentally minded critics have called Ms. Swift a climate criminal for frequently flying on a private jet. In 2022, she topped a list of “celebrity emitters” that blamed her jet for pumping 8,293.54 metric tons of CO₂ s into the atmosphere. (A spokeswoman told The Washington Post that those figures were misleading, since Ms. Swift regularly lent the plane to others.) They got even angrier when her representatives sent a cease-and-desist letter to a Florida college student who tracked and publicized that data.

If the jet is a problem, the money that pays for it is an even bigger one. Summarizing a whole lot of online chatter, an article in the Australian outlet SBS asks, who is making Ms. Swift’s merchandise? “Are they working reasonable hours and paid appropriately? Did she really need to release that much merchandise? Are her tickets being sold to fans at a reasonable price?”

Ms. Swift gave the staff of her Eras tour $100,000 bonuses , for a reported tota l of more than $55 million, and she quietly made large donations to food pantries in the cities the tour passed through. But to these critics, an ethical billionaire is a contradiction in terms, and Ms. Swift’s at fault for trying to reach the top of oppressive power structures when she could be trying to dismantle them instead.

Of course, race is also part of the debate. Some people are angered by Ms. Swift’s failure to condemn her recent ex Matty Healy, the lead singer of the British band the 1975, who was filmed onstage giving what appeared to be a Nazi salute. During interviews, he lobbed vile insults at the rapper Ice Spice and talked about watching pornography that degraded Black women.

“Whether she’s dating Healy or this is all an elaborate PR scheme,” Kelly Pau wrote in Salon , “Swift has proven herself to be another white woman who claims to be an ally, claims Black Lives Matter and calls herself a feminist — but only as long as it serves her.” Others point out that Mr. Kelce’s previous girlfriend is Black and that in some quarters, his relationship with Ms. Swift is being celebrated as a kind of glorious return to sanity.

As Brittany Packnett Cunningham has noted, some people seem to regard Ms. Swift as a “symbol of pure whiteness.” Writing on Threads, the MSNBC analyst said, “in their ‘replacement fears,’ defending her is defending whiteness itself.”

But wait, there’s more. Some fans are disappointed that Ms. Swift attended a Brooklyn stop on the comedian Ramy Youssef’s More Feelings tour, an event that raised money for Gazan relief efforts. “She owes Israelis and Jewish Americans an apology,” said the talk-show host Megyn Kelly. Meanwhile, fans using the hashtag #SwiftiesforPalestine have asked Ms. Swift to call for an immediate cease-fire, cut ties with Israeli companies and to publicly support Palestinians.

Fans with disabilities have complained that Ms. Swift’s accessible-ticket sales were a mess — and that her concerts didn’t offer enough A.D.A.-compliant seats.

Even Ms. Swift’s affection for cats has come under fire. In particular, critics say, her affection for her two Scottish Fold cats increased the breed’s popularity, causing unscrupulous opportunists to over-breed them, which resulted in unfortunate genetic mutations.

A racist ex! A pollutant-spewing private jet! White feminism! The sins of capitalism! Mutant cats! All her fault!

It’s a tale as old as time: how it’s impossible for any woman — whether superstar or mere mortal — to get it right. It’s a “Barbie” monologue (Taylor’s version):

You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be too powerful. You have to be a career woman but not ambitious.

You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

Despite winning pretty much everything, it seems, Taylor Swift can’t win.

But in that sea of TikToks and X posts, open letters and petitions and demands, there’s something heartening happening, too.

When I was a teenager, I’m not sure it would have occurred to me to think about how whiteness might have been at work on the pop charts or demand that Debbie Gibson seize the means of production. It’s encouraging to see Ms. Swift’s young fans talking about race and power and privilege and gender.

And it’s hard to imagine that those critics wouldn’t also think about their own lives, their own feminism and carbon footprint, the stands they take, the pets they choose. In demanding Taylor Swift do better — even when there’s no consensus about what “better” looks like — a whole lot of Swifties may end up doing better themselves.

Jennifer Weiner is a novelist. Her most recent book is “The Breakaway.”

Source photograph by Caroline Brehman/EPA, via Shutterstock

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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What is Ash Wednesday and why do Christians give things up for Lent?

This year, ash wednesday will be observed on feb. 14, 2024, by staff • published february 14, 2024 • updated on february 14, 2024 at 7:16 am.

On Wednesday, many Christians will show up to work with ashes smudged on their foreheads. Many more will head to church on their lunch break or after work to receive a cross of ashes on their face.

This year, Ash Wednesday — a solemn day of fasting and reflection to mark the start of Christianity's most penitent season — falls on Valentine's Day , the fixed annual celebration of love and friendship, marked by couples, flowers and candy — and critics who deride its commercialization.

But what exactly is the purpose of the centuries-old Christian tradition?

What is Ash Wednesday?

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In the Christian tradition, Ash Wednesday marks the start of the holy season of Lent, a time for reflection and repentance in preparation for the celebration of Easter.

Christians from many denominations recognize the holy season for 40 days leading up to Easter. For centuries, Christians have received a sign of the cross with ashes on their forehead at the beginning of that season as a reminder of mortal failings and an invitation to receive God’s forgiveness. The tradition has its origins in the Old Testament where sinners performed acts of public penance.

The use of ashes is to remind parishioners of their mortality. During Ash Wednesday service, the phrase, "Remember, man, that you are dust and to dust you shall return,” from the Book of Genesis is traditionally employed.

Rev. Gregory Wilson, pastor at St. Mary’s Help of Christians Catholic church in Aiken, South Carolina, offers believers two things to consider when observing Ash Wednesday: prayer and sacrifice.

“Prayer,” Wilson said, “purifies intentions and relates everything back to God. Fasting detaches people from comfort and themselves, in turn, making them ‘hungry for God’ and his righteousness and holiness."

Wilson urges Christians to make time for prayer, nothing that "people always have time for what they want to do."

“We make time for these things because they are a priority and they are necessary in life and guess what? So is prayer. Prayer is like the air for the lungs of the Christian. So do not try to find time – make it.”

don't rush things essay

Valentine's Day and Ash Wednesday: Is it a dilemma to go on a date with a cross sign on your forehead?

don't rush things essay

Valentine's Day 2024: Gift ideas for lovers, family & friends

When is ash wednesday 2024.

Ash Wednesday is not a fixed date. Its timing is tied to Easter Sunday, and for most Christians, Easter will fall on March 31 this year.

Easter also moves annually, swinging between March 22 and April 25 based on a calendar calculation involving the moon.

This year, Ash Wednesday will fall on Feb. 14 2024.

Where do the ashes come from?

Typically, the ashes are from the palms used on Palm Sunday, which falls a week before Easter, according to the  Evangelical Lutheran Church in America .

Ashes can be purchased, but some churches make their own by burning the palms from prior years. For example, several parishes and schools in the Chicago Catholic Archdiocese plan to hold palm burning ceremonies this year.

Can Catholics celebrate Valentine's Day on Ash Wednesday?

In addition to the candy heart and chocolate-fueled secular celebrations, Feb. 14 is also the Feast of St. Valentine. But Ash Wednesday with its fasting and abstinence requirements is far more significant and should be prioritized, said Catholic Bishop Richard Henning of Providence, Rhode Island, in the diocese’s official newspaper.

“Ash Wednesday is the much higher value and deserves the full measure of our devotion,” he said. “I ask with all respect that we maintain the unique importance of Ash Wednesday. If you would like to wine and dine your Valentine, please do so on the Tuesday before. February 13 is Mardi Gras, ‘Fat Tuesday,’ a perfect day to feast and celebrate!”

What is Lent?

Lent is the annual period of Christian observance that precedes Easter. The dates of Lent are defined by the date of Easter, which is a moveable feast, meaning that it falls on a different date each year. Lent starts on Ash Wednesday, and its observance lasts for 40 days, excluding Sundays. Lent ends this year on Thursday, April 6.

Catholics started the tradition of Lent around the year 325, during the Council of Nicea, but it has spread through other Christian denominations, including Western Orthodox churches, Lutherans, Methodists, Presbyterians and Anglicans, among others.

During lent, Christians give up things like habits or food and drink items. The tradition’s origins go back to Jesus’ 40 days of temptation in the desert.

Lent comes from the Middle English word “lente,” which means springtime, and signals the coming of spring.

What is Fat Tuesday?

On the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, people tend to eat rich foods in large quantities in advance of the fasting, which is a key component of Lent. Hence, the name “Fat Tuesday.”

The Associated Press contributed to this story.

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don't rush things essay


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