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September Is National Children's Good Manners Month and a perfect time to teach kindness, courtesy, thoughtfulness, and respect of others. Good manners can help you to have better relationships with people you know, and those you will meet. The increased use of technology in our everyday lives has created a whole new reason for teaching manners. Now, in addition to teaching the basics like covering your mouth and not interrupting, young students also need to learn basic electronic communication etiquette. And chances are your students are already using the internet quite skillfully so it's important to teach these lessons now. Making Manners Fun Of course, if you talk about proper manners in the classroom you can literally watch young children shut down. It's not interesting and it's certainly not much fun. However, with strategic lesson plans, worksheets and even fun hands on activities teaching your classroom manners can be fun for everyone. From lessons in common courtesy, role playing and manners games, printables and worksheets you can pick and choose which lessons you want to teach or emphasize. Lesson plans on manners are also a useful segue into other units in the classroom and a good way to start off the year and establish classroom rules. Take advantage of TeacherPlanet.com's classroom resources and have the most polite classroom in the school.

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Importance of Good Manners Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on importance of good manners.

Man is the most intelligent creation of God on the earth as he lives in society. Also, he has the capacity to think, talk and act accordingly. So, he must know how to behave well and perform good manners. Parents must teach their kids about their behavior with family members, neighbors, friends, teachers, etc. Some people behave well with sweet words only in front and not behind. This is not a good manner. Good manners are very essential in life as they help us to behave well in society. Good manners help us to win the heart of people in the public place. Therefore, one can create a unique personality due to good manners.

What are Good Manners?

A person with good manners shows respects towards feelings and sentiments of others living in the surroundings. He/she never differentiates people and shows equal regard to everyone. Modesty, humbleness, kindness, and courtesy are the essential traits of a well-behaving person. Hence, a well-behaved person never feels proud or arrogant and always take care of the feelings of others. Practicing good manners and following them all through the day will definitely bring sunshine and add qualities to life.

Must have Good Manners

Though traits within good manners are uncountable, some traits are a must. These good manners are necessary for all. Some of such good manners which we can practice in our daily life are like:

• We must learn the habit of sharing things to others.
• We should be helpful, polite and humble to others in every possible way.
• We must use the words ‘sorry’, ‘please’, ‘thank you’, ‘excuse me’ and ‘time wish’ as and when required.
• We must respect the other’s property and always take permission before using.
• We must be responsible as well as self-dependent for everything at every place.
• We must behave in a good way with humble respect to our teachers, parents, other elders and senior citizens.
• We should always maintain cleanliness at home, school, and all other public places.
• We should not use any offensive or abusive language to others at home or any other place.
• We must give the seat for senior citizens while using public transport.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Importance of Good Manners in our Life

Good manners are very important in our daily life. Importance of these in life is the well-known facts. Good manner creates an effective interaction with friends as well as make a good impression on a public platform. It helps us to be positive throughout the day. Therefore, parents must help their kids to inculcate all possible good manners in their habit.

Good manners always give the opportunity for a new conversation with people and hence the ultimate success in life. If someone talks to you badly, then still don’t talk him in the same way. Always talk him in your own positive way of behaving to give him the chance to change.

Good manners are vital to each and everyone in the society. These will definitely help us for getting popularity and success in life because nobody likes mischief and misbehaved person. Good manners are like a tonic to the people living in society.

People with polite and pleasant nature are always popular and respectable by a large number of people. Obviously, such people are having magnetic influence over others. Thus, we must practice and follow good manners in our life always.

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• Lesson Plans

Good Manners ESL Lesson Plans [Free PDF]

• Posted by by ESL Questions About
• 2 months ago

Table of Contents

Introduction

{ “importantPoints”: [ { “Objective”: “Establish the purpose of the ESL lesson plan, highlighting the importance of the Good Manners ESL Lesson Plans topic” } ] }

Good Manners are an essential part of social interaction and are crucial in intercultural communication. This ESL lesson plan aims to emphasize the significance of good manners in various contexts, such as everyday interactions, formal settings, and professional environments. By focusing on good manners, students can enhance their language skills while gaining a deeper understanding of cultural etiquette. These skills will not only improve their ability to communicate effectively but also enable them to navigate diverse social situations with confidence.

Vocabulary Building

Contextual usage.

} ] } [ { “ k e y T e r m “ : “ P l e a s e “ , “ d e f i n i t i o n “ : “ P o l i t e w o r d u s e d w h e n m a k i n g r e q u e s t s o r e x p r e s s i n g c o u r t e s y . “ } , { “ k e y T e r m “ : “ T h a n k y o u “ , “ d e f i n i t i o n “ : “ ‘ E x p r e s s i n g g r a t i t u d e f o r s o m e t h i n g r e c e i v e d o r d o n e . “ } , { “ k e y T e r m “ : “ E x c u s e m e “ , “ d e f i n i t i o n “ : “ ‘ U s e d t o p o l i t e l y g e t s o m e o n e ‘ s a t t e n t i o n o r t o a p o l o g i z e w h e n d o i n g s o m e t h i n g i n t r u s i v e . ‘ “ } , { “ k e y T e r m “ : “ Y o u ‘ r e w e l c o m e “ , “ d e f i n i t i o n “ : “ ‘ A p o l i t e r e s p o n s e w h e n s o m e o n e t h a n k s y o u . ‘ “ } , { “ k e y T e r m “ : “ I ‘ m s o r r y “ , “ d e f i n i t i o n “ : “ ‘ A n e x p r e s s i o n o f r e g r e t o r a p o l o g y . ‘ “ } ] * * C o n t e x t u a l U s a g e : * * – W h e n a s k i n g f o r s o m e t h i n g : C a n y o u p l e a s e p a s s m e t h e s a l t ? – E x p r e s s i n g g r a t i t u d e : T h a n k y o u f o r h e l p i n g m e w i t h m y h o m e w o r k . – G e t t i n g a t t e n t i o n p o l i t e l y : E x c u s e m e , d o y o u h a v e a m o m e n t t o t a l k ? – R e s p o n d i n g t o t h a n k s : Y o u ‘ r e w e l c o m e , g l a d I c o u l d h e l p . – A p o l o g i z i n g : I ‘ m s o r r y f o r b e i n g l a t e .

ESL Warm-up Activity

To set the tone for the Good Manners ESL lesson, start with a “Manners Match” game. Create flashcards with various scenarios depicting good and bad manners. Divide the class into small groups and distribute the flashcards among them. Instruct each group to match the scenario with either good or bad manners, discussing their choices together. This interactive activity not only captures students’ attention but also encourages them to use language elements related to good manners in their discussions, setting a positive atmosphere for the lesson ahead.

Main ESL Lesson Activities

Vocabulary activity: manners word association.

1. Divide the class into pairs or small groups. 2. Provide each group with a list of vocabulary words related to good manners (e.g., please, thank you, excuse me, sorry). 3. Instruct the students to brainstorm and discuss associations or situations where each word would be used. 4. Have each group share their findings with the class, promoting discussion and clarifying any misunderstandings.

Listening Activity: Manners in Everyday Situations

1. Prepare a short audio recording or find an online video that depicts various everyday scenarios. 2. Play the recording or video for the class once, without stopping. 3. Ask students to listen carefully and take notes on how people demonstrate good manners in those situations. 4. Play the recording or video again if needed. 5. Afterward, facilitate a class discussion about what they observed and encourage students to share their thoughts on the importance of good manners.

Roleplay Activity: Polite Conversations

1. Divide the class into pairs and assign them different scenarios where polite conversations are essential (e.g., ordering food at a restaurant, asking for directions). 2. Give each pair time to prepare and practice their roleplay using polite language and expressions related to good manners. 3. Have pairs perform their roleplays in front of the class, showcasing proper etiquette in different situations. 4. After each performance, lead a brief discussion on what they learned from watching their classmates’ roleplays.

Reading and Writing Activity: Etiquette Guidebook

1.Provide students with excerpts from etiquette guidebooks that discuss specific etiquette rules for social gatherings (e.g., parties, weddings). 2.Ask them to read through these excerpts individually or in groups and highlight key points regarding good manners mentioned within the text. velope their own guidebook page summarizing the etiquette rules for a specific social gathering. 3.Encourage students to write explanations and examples of good manners for each rule they include on their guidebook page. 4.Allow time for groups or pairs to share their pages with the entire class, fostering discussion and promoting understanding of proper etiquette in different situations.

ESL Homework Assignment

Homework assignment: manners reflection.

Assign students to reflect on their own behavior and manners in different situations. They can choose one or more scenarios, such as family gatherings, school interactions, or public places. Instruct them to write a short essay discussing their observations and how they plan to improve their manners based on what they have learned in the lesson. Encourage them to provide specific examples and reasons for their choices. This assignment reinforces the lesson by encouraging self-reflection and personal growth in terms of good manners.

Bonus Activity: Random Acts of Kindness

For an optional homework activity, suggest that students practice random acts of kindness throughout the week. They can record these acts in a journal or share them with the class orally or through a written reflection piece. This activity helps reinforce good manners by encouraging students to apply what they have learned in real-life situations and promotes empathy, kindness, and consideration towards others.

Note: The bonus activity is not mandatory but provides an additional opportunity for students to engage with the topic outside of class hours if desired.

Throughout this Good Manners ESL Lesson Plans lesson, we have explored the importance of good manners in various contexts. We have learned essential vocabulary related to polite behavior and discussed how these terms are used in everyday situations. The engaging warm-up activity allowed us to dive into the topic and set a positive tone for the lesson.

In the main activities, we practiced using proper etiquette through vocabulary exercises, listening comprehension tasks, roleplays, and reading and writing activities. These activities provided opportunities for group discussions, pair work, and hands-on exercises to enhance comprehension and reinforce the concept of good manners.

As we conclude this lesson, I encourage you to reflect on what you have learned about good manners and their significance in language development. Consider how incorporating them into your daily interactions can improve communication skills while fostering positive relationships with others.

By demonstrating good manners both verbally and nonverbally in your language learning journey, you will not only become more effective communicators but also develop a deeper understanding of cultural etiquette across different social settings.

Remember that practicing kindness, respectfulness, and consideration towards others goes beyond language learning; it is an essential life skill that can positively impact your personal growth within diverse communities.

Why this topic is great for ESL learning

Good Manners ESL Lesson Plans is an excellent topic for ESL learning because it provides a practical and culturally relevant context for language acquisition. Here’s why this topic is great for ESL learning:

1. Real-life Application: Good manners are essential in everyday social interactions, making them a valuable skill to learn in any language. By focusing on good manners, ESL learners can immediately apply what they have learned to their daily lives, leading to more meaningful communication experiences.

2. Cultural Etiquette: Learning about good manners introduces students to different cultural norms and expectations regarding polite behavior. This deepens their understanding of cultural diversity and promotes cultural sensitivity, which are important skills in our increasingly interconnected world.

3. Language Confidence: Studying good manners helps ESL learners develop confidence in using polite expressions and appropriate language structures within specific social contexts. Mastering these linguistic nuances boosts their overall communication skills and enables them to navigate diverse social situations with ease.

4. Building Relationships: Understanding and practicing good manners fosters positive interpersonal relationships by promoting empathy, respect, and consideration towards others. These foundational values create a conducive environment for language learning where students feel supported and encouraged to engage actively with others.

5. Transferable Skills: The lessons learned from studying good manners extend beyond the realm of language acquisition. The principles of respectfulness, empathy, and effective communication that underpin good manners can be applied across various aspects of life—be it personal relationships or professional interactions—ensuring long-term benefits beyond the classroom.

In conclusion, incorporating Good Manners ESL Lesson Plans into English language instruction aligns practicality with linguistic competence while promoting cultural sensitivity and interpersonal growth among students—a truly enriching experience that extends far beyond the confines of language education.

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Etiquette Lessons for Students

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Students explore the meaning of good manners and proper etiquette.  In this behavior lesson, students read an article that explains manners in the social setting and workplace, then complete several activities that reinforce the reading, such as drawing a map, a vocabulary assignment, brainstorming, a quiz and a writing assignment.

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Focusing on pedagogy, practice, & policy, student’s manners in the classroom: creating a positive learning environment.

Good manners are essential in any educational setting for creating a positive and conducive learning environment (Rolls et al., 2018).  When students demonstrate appropriate behaviour and respect for their teachers and peers, they improve their educational experience and contribute to the overall classroom atmosphere. Good manners are essential in the classroom because they foster respect,  discipline, and cooperation among students (Rahimi & Hosseini, 2012). Students who demonstrate good manners demonstrate that they value their education, their teachers,  and their peers. This results in a positive and harmonious environment where everyone feels valued and respected. In this article, we will look at how to create a positive learning environment.  

Teachers and peers must be respected . 

Respect for teachers and peers is one of the most important aspects of classroom etiquette. Students should address their teachers with respect and use appropriate language when communicating with them (Evans et al., 2014). They should also be kind and compassionate to their classmates, creating a welcoming and inclusive learning environment. Respecting teachers entails politely seeking help, as demonstrated by a student approaching a teacher for assistance. Kindness towards peers is exemplified by inclusive actions such as encouraging a shy classmate during group work. 

Participation and active listening 

Good manners also include active listening and participation in the classroom (Wiwoho, 2022). Students should pay attention to their teachers and actively participate in class discussions and activities. They not only show their teachers respect, but they also improve their own learning experience.  Active listening and participation in the classroom demonstrate good manners and help to create a positive learning environment. When students listen attentively, they demonstrate respect for the teacher’s expertise and improve their understanding of the material. Participating actively in class discussions and activities not only demonstrates enthusiasm for learning but also promotes a lively exchange of ideas.

Being on time and well-prepared 

Another aspect of good manners is being on time and prepared for class. Students must arrive on time and with all necessary materials and assignments (Ellyawati et al., 2023). This demonstrates accountability and respect for the teacher’s time while also ensuring a smooth lesson. Being on time and prepared for class demonstrates good manners by respecting the teacher’s time and fostering a  positive learning environment. Arriving on time with the necessary materials demonstrates accountability and readiness to participate in the lesson. A student who consistently arrives on time, for example, demonstrates commitment to their education and respect for the classroom structure. 

Following the rules and guidelines in the classroom 

To maintain order and create a conducive learning environment, classroom rules and guidelines are implemented. Students who have good manners follow these rules and guidelines because they understand how important they are to the smooth operation of the class. Students contribute to a  positive and respectful classroom environment by following these rules (Shoaib & Ullah, 2021).

Accepting accountability for one’s actions, be considerate and  compassionate to others 

Taking responsibility for one’s actions is also part of good manners. Students should own up to and learn from their mistakes.  They demonstrate maturity and accountability, which are important qualities for personal growth and development, by doing so. No need to be selfish and pointing fingers at others.  

Consideration and empathy for others are important aspects of good manners. Students should be considerate of their classmates’ feelings and needs, treating them with kindness and respect. Within the classroom, this fosters a sense of community and cooperation. If there is a student who talks too loud,  ask her or him nicely to slow it down.  

Finally, good manners are necessary for fostering a positive and productive learning environment in the classroom. Students who have good manners respect their teachers and peers,  participate actively in class, and adhere to classroom rules and guidelines. The advantages of good manners extend beyond the classroom, as they help to develop important life skills. Students can improve their educational experience and create a supportive and inclusive learning environment for all by fostering a culture of respect, empathy, and cooperation. 

References 

Ellyawati, H. C., Shinta, Q., & H. Tatas. (2023). An Error Analysis of Students’ Writing  Assignments . 14 (1). https://doi.org/10.26877/eternal.v14i1.14445&nbsp ;

Evans, E., Baskerville, R. F., Wynn-Williams, K., & Gillett, S.. (2014). How students’ ethnicity  influences their respect for teachers . 22 (2). https://doi.org/10.1108/ARA-01-2014-0001 Rahimi, M., & Hosseini, K. F.. (2012). EFL teachers’ classroom discipline strategies: the students’  perspective . 31 . https://doi.org/10.1016/J.SBSPRO.2011.12.060&nbsp ;

Rolls, N., Northedge, A., Chambers, E., & Hodson, L.. (2018). Creating a Positive Environment  for Learning . Macmillan Education UK. https://doi.org/10.1057/978-1-137-53669-3_5 Shoaib, M., & Ullah, H.. (2021). Classroom Environment, Teacher, and Girl Students’ Learning  Skills . 53 (9). https://doi.org/10.1177/00131245211001908&nbsp ;

Wiwoho, G.. (2022). Listening-first approach and listening strategies towards successful efl  listening classroom . 2 (02). https://doi.org/10.56444/lime.v2i02.2863

Written by Yang Qammarina Mohd Toha

She is currently a tutorial teacher at Tuisyen Celik Jaya, and a PhD candidate at University Malaysia Terengganu.

*The views expressed in this article do not represent HIVE Educators.

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What Are Good Manners in the High School Classroom and Why They Are Needed

Feb 14, 2022 | High School

Do high school students need to learn good manners ?   Is it still useful for students to learn good social skills?   Are you the one that needs to teach this?   Do you even have the time?

These might be the questions you are asking yourself about now.

Trust me, your students need you to show them how to not be socially awkward or uncomfortable.

When you teach manners and life skills in your classroom, you add a great deal of value to the lives of your students.

Here is how they feel when using good manners:

Here is How Students Feel When Using Good Manners and Life Skills:

• More confident
• Self-assured
• Ready to take more risks
• Prepared for college or job interviews and internships
• Happier and healthy

Today, I am sharing an activity/lesson plan that you can easily easily teach in your classroom. In fact, if you click on the image below, you can download the  specific manners lesson plan.

I believe when we set a goals or intention we need to understand our “why” behind it. This lesson plan will help your students understand the “why” we use our  good manners everyday  – in public, at at home, with others and especially in your classroom.

This is a fun activity and one that can take only five minutes – or more. You choose.

Your students can engage in a conversation, answer as a group or write down their answers independently.

Why Not Join Our Manners Movement and Teach Life Skills in Your Classroom?

We offer done-for-you lesson plans to teach manners and life skills in your classroom.

Let us show you what is possible in your classroom.

Manners To Go Links and Resources

High School Manners Program | Choate

Lesson Plans to Teach Life Skills in Your Classroom: An Interview

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The importance of good manners

By Your Headspace Mindfulness & Meditation Experts

Good manners cost nothing. These are wise words that we probably remember being taught as children, and those who are now parents probably repeat to their own kids.

But while these gifts are free to give, the simple offerings of being polite and kind — like saying please and thank you, listening carefully, and making eye contact with people — can bring huge benefits to ourselves and those around us.

In this article

Mindfulness your manners, how to teach kids good manners.

They can help us appear more confident, maintain more fulfilling personal relationships, lead to us prospering at work and generally enjoying happier and healthier lives.

But what we probably didn’t realize when we were being taught to be well-mannered as children — and perhaps those teaching it didn’t recognize either — is that when we were learning about good manners, we were often learning about mindfulness .

By living more mindfully, it can lead to us naturally having better manners and help us to live a more prosperous life — without spending a cent.

What are good manners?

By practicing basic good manners, we are showing those around us that we respect them and are considerate to their feelings. This makes them feel better, and us too.

Most of us have heard the old adage: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This wisdom is so ingrained in our life lessons, it has become known as “the golden rule.”

Examples of good manners can manifest themselves in seemingly small actions and rewards — like holding the door open for someone and receiving a silent smile of recognition in return. But it can also make or break crucial relationships and be the difference between harmony and conflict at home, at work, or even between countries and cultures on the world stage.

Like any rule, there are some exceptions , and we must appreciate that others’ experiences, needs, and boundaries can be different from our own.

But it is a concept with solid and natural roots. And Kristen Monroe, director of the University of California Irvine Interdisciplinary Center for the Scientific Study of Ethics and Morality, says : "There is a lot of good, if emerging, scientific work suggesting people have an innate sense of fairness built into them and that the golden rule captures much of that innate moral sense. A lot of people instinctively follow it.”

So if that moral sense of respect and fairness is already built into us, let’s look at how to unlock it naturally to benefit ourselves and others around us.

Meditation can be a great training ground for mindfulness . We meditate to practice being more present in the moment and then develop the ability to use these skills in our day-to-day lives, and that is living mindfully.

Being more present is crucial when it comes to looking at how to get good manners. That could mean being focused on one thing — or person — without being lost in the thoughts in your head. If we are present when we meet someone, for example, we are more likely to remember their name, which is an admirable skill associated with well-mannered people.

Empathy is another of the most important building blocks of a healthy relationship and treating others with kindness. And being able to understand how someone else is feeling — and having a spirit of generosity — is an important component of how to improve manners.

Headspace co-founder and former Buddhist monk Andy Puddicombe says , “Empathy does not require that we have been through the same thing as another person, simply that we meet them where they are now.”

Meditation for compassion — or loving kindness meditation — can help to nurture and release our natural empathy. This meditation encourages us to direct good will first onto ourselves, and then to others. The more we practice this meditation, the more we can let go of judgment and hostility, and apply this kindness to our everyday interactions.

Researchers from Emory University discovered that compassion meditation could improve our ability to empathize with those around us and to activate the areas of the brain associated with compassion.

And an important way to make those around you feel happy, positive, and at ease is to embrace that state of mind yourself. Headspace offers guided meditations to help us change our relationship with the thoughts that can sometimes cloud our happiness and reconnect with our underlying sense of contentment; it includes a 10-day happiness course. A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found 10 days of Headspace increased happiness by 16%.

Another example of where we can be more present in our lives — and where a lot of our life lessons on social etiquette are taught from an early age — is having good table manners.

Mindful eating encourages us to remove distractions and sit uninterrupted with our food and fellow diners. This encourages a healthier relationship with our food and with those eating with us.

The dinner table is often one of the key places we discuss manners with our children – but we also know there are many other elements to encouraging good manners for kids.

Headspace offers specific meditation for kids that can help nurture a kind, focused, and calm young mind. Headspace for Kids splits its content into three age groups: 5 and under, 6-8 and 9-12 and features collaborations with Sesame Street to teach kids about mindfulness.

Among the specific themes are helping children to be calm with simple breathing exercises, using their imagination to practice a relaxed, precise kind of focus, and encouraging kindness using visualization exercises to teach children about openness and generosity.

Headspace founder Andy says, “It’s almost as though meditation was designed for kids. They just get it – there is this elasticity and freedom in their minds which allows them to be present in the moment and free from any external thoughts or pressures.”

“By introducing meditation and mindfulness at an early age, not only can we build on this and help nurture their mind development, but we are also making meditation simple and accessible.”

And, of course, a good first step in showing kids the importance of good manners is to be a positive role model with our own behavior. Mindful parenting involves being fully present with our children, free from distractions and judgment, and with a soft and open mind.

Join more than 66 million people who have downloaded the Headspace app, which features hundreds of guided meditations to help us live with empathy, compassion, and to be more present in the moment. Be kind to your mind. Start with a free trial of Headspace.

READ NEXT: How to be more empathetic

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4 Activities for Teaching Kids Manners

Manners are an important part of good social skills. In my own home, I teach my children to use good manners subconsciously, as I correct them when they forget to say “please”, give them consequences when they take something from their sibling without asking, and will prompt them to say “thank you” when adults give them a gift.

Just trying to raise my own humans to be people that others want to play with and work with one day. But, not all children have a school psychologist mother. Many children live in homes where parents are busy, working long hours, or do not have parents that are quite as aware of the importance of good manners.

It is definitely important for students to learn and practice manners in the classroom, particularly if they are not getting the information or prompting at home. Things like greeting their teacher in the mornings, refraining from rude comments, sharing with peers, and helping others are skills that can be learned at school. However, sometimes these manners need to be explicitly taught, not just assumed that children will “know” how to behave and show good manners during their school day.

To help with teaching “Good Manners” as part of either my small group counseling for students working on social skills, or my classroom SEL presentations, I have come up with a few activities that can help teach children about manners in some fun and interactive ways.

1) The Kindness Quiz

I will sometimes start out my Social Skills groups with this activity. It’s a “Kindness Quiz” that is intended to have students rate themselves on their own kindness. While the intention appears to children to be to take the quiz and learn about how “Kind” of a person they are, it’s true intention is to help teach children about kindness and manners through the questions and response options. Most children actually rate themselves much higher than they truly are because they want to appear “good.” However, by putting information in the form of a self-rating “quiz”, students learn what behaviors are considered good and may think about their own behaviors that may not have been “good manners.” I’m a sneaky lil’ school psych, muahaha. 

2. “Mrs. Manners Says” Presentation/Game and YouTube Video

For an easy and fun activity, I created a game using PowerPoint called “Mrs. Manners Says.” It starts out with a quick review with examples of Good vs. Bad manners. Then the game begins. It is essentially like Simon Says, but all that the students have to do is give a “Thumbs Up” or “Thumbs Down” if what Mrs. Manners says to do is a “good” or “bad” manner.

I will play this game in-person for my Small Group Counseling and SDC Whole Class SEL support, but I also have recorded myself giving the presentation and have posted it on YouTube, so that I can just send the link to teachers to show if they want something for their whole Gen Ed class. Hey! I’m a busy school psychologist! 

For my counseling groups, I created a fun game to practice and check their knowledge of manners. It’s easy to play, but I just printed it in color and laminated it. This way I don’t have to keep printing it out when I want to use it. I also have to borrow a die and game pieces. My students really have liked this game because it makes learning something that they might not think of as fun, like “manners”, into a fun little game. 

3. Friendship workshop

I made a 2 part- Friendship workshop called “Making and Keeping Friends” for classroom SEL a few years back. I maybe gave it a handful of times, but in it is my “Kindness Quiz”, discussion on picking friends, “Ingredients” that make someone a good friend, resolving conflicts, and being a good friend to others skills. There are also a few short classroom activities to keep kids engaged.

4. During Counseling Sessions … Correcting and Modeling Students for Turn Taking, Rude Comments, Greetings, Saying “Thank You”, etc.)

Last, but not least, is prompting, correcting, and modeling good manners during your counseling sessions. This means, correcting your students when they enter counseling without making a greeting to you or their peers, calling out kids on rude comments or not waiting their turn, and practicing good manners, such as saying “please”, “thank you”, and giving peers compliments or encouraging words. It also means frontloading them with how to show good sportsmanship when playing game activities in counseling.

This is often the main area that my students will struggle with, as one might like to announce every time that he is winning or losing a game, and another may always get angry when he or she loses at a game. I like to frontload these students before the game begins with how to be a good sport, and then sometimes make them lose, so that they can practice being put in that situation within the controlled counseling session. Like I said, I’m a sneaky school psychologist, muahaha. 

By Suzanne Swezea

Related post, why recess matters for elementary school students, uso afectivo aersus ineficaz de candyland para terapia, 6 tips for counsel students with disabilities in schools, 7 fun icebreaker activities for building rapport with students in small group counseling.

Rike Neville

February 14, 2023 · Leave a Comment

Etiquette and Manners: Helping Them Navigate Social Situations with Confidence and Grace

Should adult ESL teachers spend time on etiquette and manners?  YES!

As an adult ESL teacher, you know the importance of building strong communication skills in your students. But we need to go beyond the basics of grammar and vocabulary because our students aren’t just learning a language; they’re learning how to fit into a new culture. Teaching etiquette and manners can help your students navigate social situations confidently and competently. Let’s explore why etiquette and manners are important for adult ESL learners. I’ll share some fun activities to incorporate into your lesson plans and talk a little bit about how cultural differences in etiquette and manners can be addressed in the classroom.

Article Contents

Why is Teaching Etiquette and Manners Important for Adult ESL Learners?

Have you ever inadvertently thoroughly disgusted someone because you didn’t know that your everyday action was rude and, well, gross? I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll never be able to forget the look of shocked disgust on the faces of a classroom full of kindergarteners because I blew my nose. Yeah, don’t do that in Korea. Hard (and juicy-sounding) sniffs are better tolerated than a loud (and juicy-sounding) blow into a tissue.

Now that you’ve got that sound stuck in your head (I’m so sorry!) think about it from your students’ side. They may miss out on opportunities because someone is judging them on their manners and etiquette. Good manners and etiquette are crucial for building positive relationships and making a good impression in social and professional settings. Your adult ESL learners are navigating unfamiliar cultural norms and expectations, and they need your help beyond irregular verbs. Cluing them in on some common things in your area but that your students might be horrified by is equally important. They don’t necessarily have to adopt those actions themselves, but they need to know why condemning it might not go over so well.

When you teach etiquette and manners in your adult ESL classroom, you’ll help your students feel more confident and comfortable in social situations. Your more introverted students who may be shy or hesitant to engage in social interactions will greatly benefit. When they understand proper etiquette, you’ve given them a context to work within, some boundaries to feel cozy within–tools they need to navigate unfamiliar situations easily.

But you won’t only be helping your students feel more confident. Teaching etiquette and manners can also help your students build stronger relationships with their peers and community members. By understanding and following social norms, your students can demonstrate respect and consideration for others, and that will lead to more positive and productive relationships. In turn, those relationships will give your students more authentic settings to practice their English.

Teaching etiquette and manners can also be beneficial for helping students understand and navigate cultural differences. This is necessary in culturally diverse classrooms as well as the world outside the four walls. Many social norms and customs vary from culture to culture, and understanding these differences among their classmates, neighbors, and co-workers can help students avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications. I’ve seen firsthand how etiquette and manners affect how classmates of different cultures view a class member who doesn’t conform to their idea of politeness.

“Student A” had a habit of belching loudly whenever he felt the need–as was acceptable in his culture but not in his classmates’ cultures. Once I made him aware of the difference, and he began not to be so free with burps, he was able to develop a better relationship with his previously disdainful classmates. Then, after a lesson on etiquette and manners, his classmates came to the uncomfortable realization that they, too, had done things that are viewed as rude in another culture (specifically, as it happened, Student A’s).

So, as you can see, teaching etiquette and manners can help students make a positive impression in their personal and professional lives. And that’s crucial because we want them to enjoy success outside our class, not just within it. Whether in a job interview, a social gathering, or a business meeting, good manners and etiquette will help your students present themselves positively and professionally.

Overstating the importance of teaching etiquette and manners in the adult ESL classroom is impossible because our students have rich lives outside our classrooms, and we don’t want them to miss out on anything. Help your students feel more confident, build stronger relationships, understand cultural differences in etiquette and manners, and make a positive impression when you add etiquette and manners to your lesson plan.

Fun Activities for Teaching Etiquette and Manners in the Adult ESL Classroom

So how do you add etiquette and manners to your lessons? Well, here are a few ideas for fun and interactive activities that can help your students practice and learn about etiquette and manners:

Role-Playing: A Fun and Interactive Way to Practice Etiquette and Manners

I LOVED using role-playing activities in my classes, as shown by the many role play resources I’ve created. Role-playing is a fabulous activity for helping students practice and improve their etiquette and manners in social situations without the risk of being judged. With their affective filter lowered by being in the safety of your welcoming classroom, students will feel comfortable putting themselves in different scenarios. They’ll gain valuable experience and can get some timely peer and teacher feedback on navigating unfamiliar situations with confidence and competence.

So how do you do it? With low beginners, you can have students practice different social situations, such as greeting someone, making small talk, or introducing themselves. Such short situations will closely mimic what they will frequently do in real-life. Encourage your students to pay attention to body language , the tone of their voice, and other nonverbal cues while they are practicing these interactions.

Students can practice shaking hands and making eye contact when greeting someone. If their main language is a tonal one, you might need to give them some extra pointers on what a friendly tone of voice sounds like in your area. Encourage them to think of themselves as actors if they don’t feel comfortable. The more they practice, the more it’ll feel natural to them.

Also, demonstrate appropriate body language when making small talk. They might enjoy it if you show them some obviously inappropriate body language as well (breaks the ice), but first, be sure that you aren’t accidentally making fun of what’s appropriate in another culture. Have them practice speaking clearly and confidently when introducing themselves.  Be certain to be culturally sensitive and don’t require students to shake hands if touching another person is not permissible in their culture.  Many Saudi women, for example, will not be comfortable shaking hands with a male who is not a family member.

Role-playing provides your students with a wonderful opportunity to practice their language skills in a more natural and interactive way while still feeling safe, thanks to your inclusive and friendly classroom. Encourage them to use the vocabulary and grammar they have learned, and don’t forget to give them feedback on their language use, etiquette, and manners. Then, armed with that feedback and all that practice, they’ll be ready to try out their new skills outside your classroom.

I’m sure you agree that role-playing is a fun and interactive way to help students practice and improve their etiquette and manners in social situations. When we encourage our students to pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues, we help them develop the skills they need to navigate unfamiliar situations confidently and competently.

Manners Matter: The Hunt for Please and Thank You

With this interactive activity, your students will identify common manners as seen in their everyday lives. They’ll need writing materials (like a pen and paper, a laptop, etc.) and smartphones to film some short re-enactments.

Begin by discussing with your students the importance of good manners in society. Explain that manners are a way of showing respect to others and making them feel comfortable, and have your students share how someone showing good manners to them made them feel at ease.

Next, instruct your students to think about common manners they encounter in their daily lives. If they need a little prompting, provide some examples, such as saying “please” and “thank you,” holding the door open for someone, or covering their mouth when they cough.

Now comes the fun part. Your students have two options to demonstrate their understanding of good manners. They can shoot a video of a short re-enactment of some common manners they’ve observed in their everyday lives using their classmates, friends, or family members, or they can write a short description of some good manners they’ve observed in their everyday lives. Remember: some students may not feel comfortable being filmed. That’s why offering the writing alternative is important.

Finally, after coming back together again as a class, watch the videos students created and have students read what they wrote to review the different manners the students observed. Discuss again the importance of showing respect to others through good manners. Encourage students to continue paying attention to common manners in their everyday lives and practicing good manners themselves.

Elbows Off the Table: Dining Etiquette

A potluck dinner is a great opportunity for students to learn about dining etiquette in a relaxed and social setting. During the potluck, you can demonstrate proper etiquette for your region, such as the appropriate way to use utensils, how to signal that you are finished eating, and how to engage in conversation during the meal. Consider also encouraging your students to share etiquette rules from their own culture.

Here are some additional ideas for incorporating dining etiquette into a potluck dinner activity:

• Set the table in advance and show students where to place their utensils, glasses, and napkins.
• Discuss appropriate table conversation and remind students to respect others’ opinions and viewpoints.
• Encourage students to try new foods and show appreciation for the dishes brought to the potluck.
• Demonstrate proper table manners, such as using utensils correctly and not talking with food in your mouth. You might also tell them not to ask a question of someone who has just taken a bite.
• Remind students to thank the host or hostess for the meal and offer to help clean up afterward.

Etiquette and Manners in American Culture vs. Other Countries

While some universal manners are common across cultures, there can also be significant differences in how people greet each other, make small talk, and behave in social situations. Here are some examples to share with your students to get the discussion ball rolling:

• In some cultures, it is customary to greet someone with a hug or a kiss on the cheek. In American culture, it is more common to shake hands or, if at a distance, give a wave.
• In many Asian cultures, making direct eye contact with someone while speaking to them is considered impolite. In American culture, making eye contact is generally seen as a sign of respect and attentiveness.
• Removing your shoes when entering someone’s home is common in some cultures. In American culture, you are generally expected to keep your shoes on, but checking for shoes near the door can hint at the host’s preference.
• In some cultures, using titles (such as “Mr.” or “Mrs.”) is customary when addressing someone, even if you are well acquainted with them. In American culture, using first names is more common unless there is a specific reason to use a title (such as in a professional setting).
• In some cultures, refusing food or drink that is offered to you is considered impolite, but in American culture, politely declining if you don’t want something is generally acceptable. If sharing this with students, you might also want to share some easy outs they can use, such as, “I’m full. I just ate,” or “I’m watching my (sugar/gluten/protein/etc.) intake.”
• In some cultures, slurping soup or making noise while eating is a common sign of enjoyment, but in American culture, the same would be considered impolite.
• In some cultures, giving money is customary when attending a wedding or other special occasion. In American culture, guests are generally expected to bring a gift or send a card to express their congratulations or well wishes.
• In the United States, asking a direct question about someone’s age is rude, especially to a woman.  However, in other cultures, such as Korean culture, asking someone’s age is one of the first questions commonly asked as it helps establish a social hierarchy.

Regional Differences in Etiquette and Manners Within the United States

The United States is a big country, and significant regional differences abound like in other countries. Likewise, common forms of etiquette and manners vary within the United States. For example:

• The South: Saying “yes ma’am” or “no sir” is a sign of respect, but this is much less common in other parts of the country.
• The Midwest: Holding the door open for others is a sign of politeness. This gesture is less common in some other parts of the country. Explain to students that while such a gesture was reserved for men to show women in the past, it is now a polite gesture for anyone to show anyone else, especially someone carrying a heavy or unwieldy load, dealing with young children, or with mobility challenges.
• In some parts of the country, dressing more formally for work or special occasions is common, but in other parts of the country, such as the hot and dry Southwest, people may be more casual and not wear suits or dresses as often.

Be aware of regional differences in etiquette and manners because your students may come from different parts of the country or world and may not be familiar with their new community’s norms. Encouraging your students to ask questions and seek clarification on unfamiliar customs can help them feel more comfortable and confident in their new surroundings.

Well, I’m sure if you weren’t already, you are now convinced that teaching etiquette and manners in the adult ESL classroom can be a valuable addition to your lesson plans. It doesn’t just help students feel more confident and comfortable in social situations. Etiquette and manners help them navigate cultural differences and make a positive impression in their personal and professional lives. When you incorporate fun activities and address cultural and regional differences, you help your students develop these important skills with ease.

Keep reading about teaching adult ESL!

• Exploring Cultural Differences in Adult ESL Classrooms: Why it Matters
• 5 Innovative Ideas for Using Music in Adult ESL Classes
• Gestures: The Secret Language You’ve Been Unaware of

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Grammar Library

Building Stronger Connections through Good Manners: 100, 150, 200, 250 & 300 Words

Paragraph on Good Manners: In a world where technology dominates our interactions, the timeless virtue of good manners seems to be fading into the background, often overshadowed by the hustle and bustle of modern life. Yet, the importance of polite behavior cannot be overstated, serving as the cornerstone of social harmony and mutual respect.

As we navigate through our daily lives, the subtle art of displaying good manners plays a crucial role in shaping our relationships and the impressions we leave on others.

Table of Contents

Paragraph on Good Manners in 100 words

In the vibrant tapestry of Indian culture, good manners are not just social niceties but the essence of communal harmony and respect. Within the academic realm, students are encouraged to embody respect, punctuality, and courtesy, both towards their educators and peers. This ethos of mutual respect fosters a nurturing environment for learning, highlighting the significance of good manners in not only personal development but also in uplifting the collective spirit of the classroom.

Paragraph on Good Manners in 150 words

Transitioning from the foundational values of respect and courtesy, Indian educational institutions place immense importance on the practice of good manners as a reflection of one’s upbringing and character. Specifically, the emphasis on greeting teachers with a polite ‘Namaste’ or ‘Good morning’, maintaining silence during classes, and showing gratitude are considered paramount.

These practices are not mere formalities but are integral to building a respectful and conducive learning atmosphere. Moreover, the act of sharing knowledge and resources among peers without discrimination further exemplifies the role of good manners in promoting inclusivity and unity within the diverse fabric of Indian society, preparing students for a harmonious coexistence beyond the school gates.

Paragraph on Good Manners in 200 words

In the context of India’s rich cultural and educational landscape, good manners extend beyond basic etiquette to encompass a broader spectrum of values including empathy, integrity, and cooperation. Educational settings prioritize teaching students the importance of empathy by encouraging them to listen attentively, offer help to fellow students, and respect differing viewpoints, thereby nurturing a generation that values emotional intelligence as much as academic success.

Integrity, manifested through honesty in examinations and assignments, is heralded as a cornerstone of a student’s moral compass, shaping their character and future societal contributions. Furthermore, the spirit of cooperation is cultivated through group activities and projects, teaching students the importance of teamwork and mutual support in achieving common goals.

These principles of good manners, deeply embedded in the Indian educational ethos, are pivotal in molding students into well-rounded individuals who are not only academically proficient but also possess the moral fiber to navigate the complexities of life with grace and dignity.

Paragraph on Good Manners in 250 words

Good manners encompass a broad spectrum of behaviors that reflect respect, care, and consideration for others. In the Indian academic context, this includes punctuality, respect for teachers and peers, and a collaborative spirit. Being punctual not only shows respect for others’ time but also demonstrates a student’s commitment to their education. Respecting teachers, which involves listening attentively in class, participating in discussions, and adhering to school rules, is fundamental in Indian culture.

This respect is extended to peers through kindness, support during challenging academic tasks, and working effectively in group projects. Collaborative learning, a key aspect of Indian education, encourages students to share knowledge, learn from each other, and develop interpersonal skills vital for their future. Additionally, good manners involve maintaining cleanliness in school premises, which reflects personal hygiene and respect for the community space.

These behaviors are not just about following rules; they are about cultivating a positive environment that enhances learning and personal growth. Schools play a crucial role in teaching and reinforcing these manners, but students’ willingness to practice them is equally important. Ultimately, good manners in the academic setting contribute to a harmonious and productive learning environment, preparing students for respectful interaction in their future professional and personal lives.

Paragraph on Good Manners in 300 words

In the diverse and culturally rich landscape of India, good manners within academic settings form the bedrock of a student’s character development and educational journey. These manners encompass a wide range of respectful and considerate behaviors towards teachers, peers, and the school environment. Punctuality is highly valued, signifying a student’s respect for the collective time of the class and indicating a serious attitude towards learning. It sets a tone of discipline and organization, essential qualities for academic success.

Respect for teachers is paramount in Indian culture, embodying the belief that teachers are akin to gurus. This respect is expressed through attentive listening, enthusiastic participation, and adherence to the academic code of conduct. Such behaviors not only foster a positive learning atmosphere but also inculcate a sense of reverence for knowledge and learning.

Peer respect is equally crucial, where students are encouraged to treat each other with kindness, help those struggling with academic challenges, and engage constructively in group activities. This promotes a collaborative learning environment, essential for developing teamwork and communication skills.

Moreover, good manners extend to the maintenance of cleanliness and orderliness within the school premises, reflecting a student’s personal hygiene and respect for communal spaces. Schools often emphasize the importance of cleanliness through various initiatives, embedding the value of environmental stewardship in students.

Engaging in community service and extracurricular activities is also considered an aspect of good manners, as it cultivates empathy, leadership, and a sense of responsibility towards society. Such activities complement academic endeavors by providing practical life skills and broadening students’ horizons.

In essence, good manners in the Indian academic context are not merely about adhering to societal norms but are integral to developing a well-rounded, respectful, and empathetic individual. Schools and educators play a critical role in instilling these values, but the onus is equally on students to embrace and practice them diligently.

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Good Manners Chart (Manners & Etiquette for Kids)

We have a fantastic Good Manners Chart for you! Free download/printable. Scroll down for more!

You’ve seen it. Those kids who are glued to a phone and don’t even look up when their parents introduce them to you. Kids who don’t know how to shake a hand, kids who boss their parents around in the store, kids who put up a stink when they don’t get their way. Kids whose first language is sarcasm (with a minor in four-letter words), yet don’t have categories for “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me.”

These children need to learn good manners, proper etiquette, and basic kindness towards others.

Kids these days. * Shakes head.*

The thing I didn’t expect, though, was that these would be my kids .

Yep. Don’t get me wrong, we taught our kids to say “please” and “thank you.” Except it didn’t stick.

We taught our kids that interrupting, yelling, and fighting is wrong. They still did it.

At the table, we emphasized serving others first, chewing with your mouth closed, and sitting straight. But they didn’t.

The reality is that teaching good manners to kids is hard. It’s not simply a matter of telling them to do certain things and not do other things; you have to train them. As parents, I don’t think we understood that right away (we had to be trained ourselves, haha).

Training involves repetition. How many times does a gymnast stretch? How many miles are run, day after day, before a track meet victory? How many stitches go into a quilt, how many hours at the batting cage before the game-winning home run, how many years of study and practice before a successful surgery?

The answer: lots. And lots. And lots.

And our kids are getting it. They’re not perfect, but they are improving. They can speak to adults, answer questions, say please and thank you, respectfully sit through church and small groups, help with the dishes, and earn high marks for classroom behavior.

So don’t be discouraged when your kids don’t turn into little angels the first time you go over the good manners chart. It will take time, practice, explanation, repetition, more repetition, more repetition, more explanation, more practice, and even more time. Then you’ll just cycle through and do it all again.

But you’ll get there! There’s a reason children don’t grow up overnight. Raising kids and teaching them proper behavior takes time. But the results will be well worth it.

One helpful step along the way is to use a “good manners chart” to teach your kids the basics. Here’s what we have in store for you in this article.

The Good Manners Chart

Free download: the good manners chart, good manners definition, 10 basic good manners for kids, table manners for kids, manners at school.

• Cell Phone/Electronics Etiquette

10 Bad Manners to Avoid

So let’s just get right to it. Here is the good manners chart, which details 10 basic manners and the reasons why they are important, plus 10 table manners and 10 manners to practice at school.

Read further to get a free download/printable version (which has much nicer formatting). Also keep reading for explanation of the hows and whys so you can be prepared to teach your kids these must-know manners.

Everything in The Good Manners Chart is explained in detail in the article below. If you skim the article and think “ugh, TL;DR” then just grab this good manners chart, print it out, and start working through it with your kids.

(Click the “available here” button above to get the PDF, which you can print, download, and/or save to your computer for future reference.)

In the good manners chart we detail some of the most important basic manners, plus table manners and manners at school.

In the article below you’ll find deeper insight on each manner and why it is important in how you treat others. We also have sections on cell phone (e.g. electronics) etiquette and a list of bad manners to avoid. All this will help you find creative ways to teach manners, along with the reasons why we practice good manners: It comes down to to showing love and respect to others.

Manners & Etiquette for Kids

Good manners means polite behavior that shows other people respect, courtesy, and kindness.

A good definition of manners for kids is knowing how to treat people well at all times .

• Say “please” whenever you ask for anything
• Say “thank you” whenever you are given anything
• Respond to people when they speak to you
• Do not interrupt; wait for others to finish speaking
• If you’re unsure if you can do something, ask permission
• Cover your mouth when you cough, sneeze, or yawn
• Keep negative opinions to yourself
• Do not make fun of others or use crude language
• Knock (and wait for a response) before entering
• Help others whenever you can

See the Good Manners Chart download for simple, basic reasons why these manners matter. When you can clearly and simply show why manners are important, it helps kids to understand and take ownership of their behavior.

1. Wash Hands Before Eating

Everyone’s hands get dirty throughout the day. The last thing you want to do is bring dirt, grime, and germs to a place where people will be eating – yourself included!

Since the quickest way to get sick is by putting germy, icky stuff into your mouth, you are treating yourself and others with kindness when you wash your hands before a meal.

Go to the nearest bathroom (often the kitchen sink will be in use by the cook or at least by dirty dishes) and wash your hands for 15-30 seconds using hand soap. Dry off well and then come promptly to the dinner table.

2. Put away phones and electronics

At mealtimes, you should silence and put away all electronic devices. And because phones still buzz and vibrate when silenced, it is ideal to place cell phones and other devices away from the table.

If you are in your own home, set up a location to put devices. If you are a guest, you can put your phone in your pocket but it may be better to put it in a jacket pocket or purse hung up on a coat rack.

When our family goes anywhere my children almost always bring a little backpack or handbag with notebooks, crafts, and small toys. This would be a good location for electronic devices. Personally, we don’t allow our kids to bring any sort of electronics to other people’s homes.

Exceptions are when you are expecting a call, or when parents have requested that the child be available to contact. If this is the case, tell the adults at the table that you are expecting a call and then excuse yourself from the table when it comes.

“I’m sorry my phone is ringing, I’ll put it on silent. Do you have a place I could put this out-of-the-way?”

“My parents are going to call around 5:30, so please excuse me if I answer the phone.” [When call comes, say “excuse me” and go away from the table to talk]

Cell phones and other electronics have become a major part of our lives, so we will have a more complete section on cell phone etiquette later on as well. See below.

3. Sit up straight

Sitting up straight in your chair looks better than slouching. When you sit up, not only do you put on a better and more attractive appearance, but you also show interest in what is happening around you. You are ready to partake of the food and the conversation.

In contrast, a slouching person seems tired, sad, uninterested and uninteresting. When you are bent over in your seat, you communicate to those around you that the food is unappetizing and your fellow diners and boring. So show respect and kindness to the person who prepared the meal and to the rest of the family by sitting up straight.

This is also the same reason you should not put your elbows on the table.

4. Place Your Napkin In Your Lap and Use It

When you place your napkin in your lap, it helps to catch any crumbs that may fall into your lap. It is also out-of-the-way from all the food on the table, and easy for you to grab and use if needed.

And you probably will need it. That’s perfectly fine; it’s better to use your napkin than have a food-stained chin or cheek. To use, gently dab wherever needed. Dabbing (no, not that kind!) is a more genteel and sophisticated movement than wiping. You should avoid wiping across your face.

5. Chew with your mouth closed

No one wants to see your food as it is being chewed. Keep you mouth closed when eating. This will also help you make less “smacking” sounds when chewing your food.

6. Don’t reach across the table

When you reach across the table, it makes you appear greedy, needy, and impatient. Plus you run the risk of knocking things over, spilling, draping your clothing into food, or dropping hairs and crumbs onto the table. So never reach across the table.

Instead, politely ask for things to be passed to you.

“Elijah, could you please pass the ketchup?”

7. Don’t Ask for Dessert

Dessert is my favorite part of the meal, too! But don’t worry – if there is dessert, it will be offered at the appropriate time.

8. Ask to be Excused

It is impolite to simply get up and walk away from the table. Instead, ask your parents if you can be excused from the table.

If they say no, stay around and learn to enjoy talking with the rest of the family.

“Mom, may I please be excused from the table?”

9. Take Over Your Plate

You used the plate, and you made it dirty. The very least you can do to help those responsible for cleaning up is to take the plate into the kitchen.

If you are in someone else’s home, ask where to put your plate. By doing so, you show respect to those who prepared and those who clean up after the meal by being willing to help out, even in this small way. It is a very polite gesture.

10. Ask How You Can Help with Cleanup

Again, since you got to eat because of all the cooking mess that was made, it is polite to offer to help clean up afterwards.

Don’t say “Do I have to help with anything?” That makes it sound like a chore and a burden. Instead, say, “How can I help clean up?” Saying it this way shows that you are truly grateful for the meal, and are willing to show your thankfulness by helping.

“Thank you for dinner, Mom! How can I help clean up?”

“Thank you for the delicious lasagna, Mr. Stewart. Can I help clean the kitchen?”

1. Listen to your teacher (and other adults)

The teacher, helpers, secretaries, lunch servers, and other adults at the school are there to help you learn and grow as person. They care for you, and are in charge for a reason. So show respect and kindness to your teacher and other adults in authority over you by listening to them.

Listen to them respectfully, answer when spoken to, and then make sure you do what they say. This is not only good manners but also the best way to get learn while you are at school.

2. Be kind to everyone, not just your friends

It’s tempting to just hang out with your friends. You like them, you talk to them, you have inside jokes and clubs and secret handshakes, all that fun stuff.

While there is nothing wrong with having close friends, it is still impolite to purposefully exclude others, turn your back on them, whisper in front of others, and ignore the other kids. When you do these things it shows that you like certain people and not others. It’s a form of favoritism, and it’s rude.

Instead, go out of your way to show kindness to everyone. Include other children in your games and clubs. Invite the new kid to sit by you at lunch or to do a project with you. Who knows, maybe you’ll make a new friend!

3. Wait your turn

It is very rude and impolite to cut in front of others. The other people in line or who raised their hand first have been waiting longer than you. It won’t hurt you any to wait for a few minutes, and it shows that the others who are in line are just as important as anyone else. Waiting your turn is a way to show respect to your classmates and help promote order for your teacher and the other adults.

4. Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone

School can be a busy place. There’s people everywhere, lots of classmates buzzing around your classroom, halls and assemblies and lunch lines. Do your best to avoid bumping into people by paying attention and keeping your hands to yourself. Don’t swing your arms around or break dance in a busy hallway, and respect the rules for hallways, lunch lines, and other areas.

If you do accidentally touch or bump into someone, look at them and say “excuse me.” If you knock someone over, be sure to apologize and help them up.

5. Raise your hand before you speak

In a room full of students, this is the best way to make sure you do not interrupt others and wait your turn. The teacher can’t call on every student every time, and it is not fair for one student to shout out all the answers or try to take over the topic of conversation.

So you are helping maintain order and respecting the other students (as well as the teacher) when you raise your hand and wait to be called upon before speaking.

6. Keep your area clean and organized

When you keep your area clean and organized, you are practicing self-control. You will be able to do many good things (and avoid many bad things) if you can learn self-control.

Additionally, when you keep a tidy desk, table, cubby, shelf, or drawer, you show kindness to your teacher and the other students by helping keep the classroom clean and looking good.

7. Tidy & restock supply areas

This is a way that you can be helpful and considerate towards others. When you keep the supply areas clean, tidy, and organized, you help the other students in completing their projects. And when you restock things that run out and don’t make a mess, you help the teacher avoid one more of their many tasks and responsibilities.

8. Don’t cause distractions in class

This means don’t whisper or pass notes while instruction is happening; don’t draw attention to yourself unless you are asking a question or in need help; refrain from humming or tapping during tests or reading time; don’t talk to your friends when others are working on a project.

9. Do Your homework on time

If you are assigned homework, make sure that you work on it right away at home so that you are able to turn it in on time. Tell your parents when you have work to do or homework due, and ask them for a quiet space and/or help if you need it.

It’s very important that you return your homework to your teacher when it is due. This will help you with learning what you need to learn, and it is also good manners because it helps your teacher to review and grade it on schedule.

10. Don’t Brag or Mock

It is impolite to always focus attention on yourself. Don’t brag; meaning, don’t tell the whole class every time you ace a test, get top marks, or otherwise succeed at something. This goes back to point #8, “Don’t Cause Distractions.” When you do this, you are showing honor to yourself rather than trying to respect others.

Instead, focus attention on others. Praise when they do well, encourage them when they are having difficulty, and help them when needed.

On the flip side, don’t make fun of or “mock” the work of your classmates. Perhaps you are very good at art and another student is not, or maybe you are a fast reader and another student is still learning their letters. Or maybe you just feel like another child is a dweeb. Whatever the reason, if you make fun of the way someone else looks, acts, or talks then you are not showing them kindness and respect.

Cell Phone Etiquette (Applies to all electronics)

• When a visitor comes to your home, put away your device, stand up, and greet them. This is a polite gesture of respect to any visitor, even if the visitor is only there to talk to the parents
• Put all electronics away at the dinner table
• Don’t use devices in a library, church, at a restaurant table, or in a theater
• Put away your device when it is time to socialize and speak with others
• Do not text during a meeting or class
• When someone speaks to you, immediately put down your device and respond to them. If you are in the middle of something urgent, you may say, “Please excuse me a moment while I finish this.” Finish, then put the devise away and talk

Here are some examples of bad manners that you should avoid. For parents, this list can actually be a surprisingly effective teaching tool (in moderation).

Set aside a few times where you teach proper manners by modeling (or having your kids model) these poor behaviors. They will have a blast pretending to be bad, and in doing so will learn what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.

• Poor table manners: Talking with your mouth full, chewing with your mouth open, reaching across everyone, putting elbows on the table, making a mess
• Using foul language: Four-letter words, body function jokes, religious exclamations
• Insulting others: Name-calling, teasing, making fun of people for how they look or act, treating people poorly because they are different from you
• Being negative: Whining, complaining, expressing frustration, pouting, saying “I hate this,” or “I’m bored,” giving “the silent treatment”
• Being inconsiderate: Making everyone always play what you want, cutting in line, making a mess without cleaning it up
• Interrupting: Talking over other people, speaking while others are talking, changing the subject when others are having a conversation, talking at a theater or in class
• Silence: Not saying anything when someone gives you something or tries to talk with you
• Yelling: Trying to talk to someone through a door or in another room, screaming when you are angry, throwing a tantrum when you don’t get your way
• Disobeying: Ignoring the instruction of your parents, teachers, coaches, or others; not following rules and laws; simply not paying attention and then forgetting what your parents or others ask you to do
• Leaving a mess: Getting out food, crafts, or toys without putting them away, leaving doors and cupboards open, running through the house with muddy shoes

Download the Good Manners Chart

I hope this article has been helpful! Going through this has certainly been helpful in our home. If you haven’t already, you can download The Good Manners Chart here:

Bookmark (or Pin) this page as a reference for more explanation beyond what can be included in the single-page printable. It’s important to review!

Also, check out some of our further resources on good manners and etiquette:

• Birthday Party Etiquette for Kids
• Gift Giving Etiquette: 15 Simple Rules to Make Your Gift Stand Out

Save this resource to your family/parenting Pinterest boards!

Daniel Szczesniak

Daniel launched All Gifts Considered in 2013 to help people find the best gift ideas for anyone and any occasion. He has worked for Northwest Gifts, an online gift shop based in Oregon specializing in American-made and personalized gifts, for...

... read more

2 thoughts on “Good Manners Chart (Manners & Etiquette for Kids)”

I found everything I needed for my classroom on this site. Thanks.

This is an awesome website and a great resource to teach kids all of their manners.

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How to Have Good Manners

Last Updated: August 5, 2023 Approved

This article was co-authored by Tami Claytor and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising . Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification. There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 35 testimonials and 93% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 2,309,623 times.

Good manners are an important thing to have since it shows that you’re courteous to other people. Having good social etiquette can help you develop better relationships and make you more enjoyable to be around. If you’re having a meal with others, then make sure you use good manners while you’re eating to show that you’re respectful. You should maintain etiquette while you’re online so you don’t offend or overshare with others.

Having Good Conversational Etiquette

• For example, you may say, “Can you please hand me that book?” Once they hand you the book, say, “Thank you.”
• Say “thank you” whenever someone helps you in a small way, such as a person ringing you up at a store or a person taking your order at a restaurant.
• If someone says “thank you” to you, respond with “you’re welcome” to stay polite.

• For example, you can say, “Hi, my name is James. What’s yours?”
• Different cultures and countries have different manners when it comes to introductions, so make sure you’re familiar with the etiquette where you are.
• If you’re with another person and you run into somebody you know, be sure to introduce them to one another if they haven’t met before. For example, you may say, “Hi John, this is Melissa. Melissa, this is John.”

• If you and another person start talking at the same time, stop and ask them to continue to show that you care about what they have to say.

• For example, you may use the words “dang” or “darn” in place of harsher curse words.
• You may also find more descriptive adjectives in place of bad words. For example, instead of saying something is “f***ing great,” you may say it was “amazing” instead.

Tip: Keep a rubber band or bracelet on your wrist and snap it on your skin whenever you catch yourself swearing or thinking about swearing. That way, you’ll associate swearing with hurting and you’ll do it less.

Showing Respect to Others

• For example, you can approach the person and say, “Would you like any help carrying that?”
• Sometimes you may not need to ask to help someone. For example, you can hold a door open for someone who’s coming in behind you or you may offer your seat on a bus to someone who needs to sit down.

• If you accidentally bump into someone, say something like, “Excuse me, I’m sorry.”

• Don’t make someone else’s success about you. For example, if someone won a game against you, don’t say, “It’s only because I made some bad plays.” Instead, say something like, “You did a great job. You had a really good strategy.”

• For example, you may write, “Dear Jane, Thank you for the journal you got me for my birthday. I can’t wait to write in it and keep it with me every day. I really appreciate it! Best, John.”
• For example, rather than asking where somebody is from because their face looks different from yours, show your interest in their life and personality by asking about their profession, hobbies or similar things.
• Rather than complimenting the looks of somebody you do not know well, compliment their choice of clothes.

Practicing Table Manners

• If you need to respond to a text or take a phone call, excuse yourself from the table first by saying something like, “Excuse me, I need to take this. I’ll be right back.”

• This goes for eating at home or at a restaurant.

• Be sure to use the proper silverware for your meal. If you have multiple knives and forks, use the outermost ones first before using the others for additional courses.

• Cut your food into smaller pieces so your mouth isn’t too full and so you can chew your food easier.

• For example, you may say, “Julia, could you please pass me the butter?”
• If there’s no room on the table in front of you to put the item down, ask the person if they could put it back for you. For example, you may say, “Can you please set the bowl back down for me? Thank you.”

Tip: Different cultures may have different etiquette when it comes to keeping your elbows on the table. Research the manners of the area you’re in to double-check what’s considered proper.

• If you aren’t able to get the food out of your teeth within a few seconds, excuse yourself from the table so you can go to the bathroom.

• For example, you may say, “Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” when you get up from the table.

Being Respectful Online

• Try writing out angry or negative posts in a different document rather than on social media sites. That way, you can come back to them later and determine if it’s something you really need to post.
• Talk directly to people rather than posting an angry or offensive status about them. That way, you can work through the problem privately so you don’t post anything publicly.

Tip: Many jobs and schools look at social media accounts when they’re looking at prospective hires and students, so don’t post anything that could affect their decisions.

• Tagged photos usually show up prominently on someone’s social media account, so other people could see the photo and judge the person you tagged for it.
• Think about if you would want your friend to post a picture of you in a similar situation. If you wouldn’t want the picture of you posted online, then chances are your friend wouldn’t want the photo posted either.

• Social media sites like Twitter are more acceptable for posting multiple times throughout the day as opposed to sites like Facebook or Linkedin.
• Never post personal information like addresses, phone numbers, or passwords online since you could get hacked or scammed.

• For example, “PLEASE READ MY NEW POST!” reads much more aggressive than, “Please read my new post!”

• Check your social media settings so you can limit who sends you things if you’re worried about receiving unsolicited messages.

Expert Q&A

• Treat other people how you want to be treated so you stay respectful and friendly. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
• Read etiquette guides or books to learn more about how to behave properly in various social settings. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0

Tips from our Readers

• Whenever you ask someone a favor, always start the request with “please” and end with “thank you.” This frames it as an appeal rather than a demand.
• Listen fully when others speak without interrupting. Let them finish, then respond to show you truly heard them. This basic courtesy builds trust.
• If excusing yourself from a meal for any reason, say "Excuse me” and push your chair in as you stand. This simple courtesy shows respect.
• When congratulating someone’s achievement, keep the focus on them rather than comparing to yourself. Recognition should uplift others.
• Before posting anything online, pause and read it as if someone else wrote it. If it seems negative or offensive, reword or don't post.
• Hold doors open for others when possible, allow others to exit elevators first, etc. Small courtesies make a big impression.

• Different countries have different manners and etiquette, so be sure to check what’s rude or acceptable in your area. Thanks Helpful 30 Not Helpful 2
• Never post personal information online. Thanks Helpful 27 Not Helpful 4

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.wisebread.com/10-basic-manners-you-must-teach-your-kids
• ↑ http://www.artfulthinkers.com/9-social-graces-and-business-etiquette-tips-for-building-relationships
• ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to-respect-other-peoples-boundaries/
• ↑ https://www.moneycrashers.com/teaching-kids-good-manners/
• ↑ https://youtu.be/FDGGv7z5r2c?t=260
• ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
• ↑ https://youtu.be/FDGGv7z5r2c?t=282
• ↑ https://youtu.be/FDGGv7z5r2c?t=325
• ↑ https://youtu.be/FDGGv7z5r2c?t=125
• ↑ https://youtu.be/FDGGv7z5r2c?t=389
• ↑ https://www.safesearchkids.com/social-media-manners/#.XUr89JNKgW8
• ↑ https://www.moneycrashers.com/social-media-etiquette-tips-personal-business/
• ↑ https://www.entitymag.com/social-media-etiquette/
• ↑ https://topdogsocialmedia.com/social-media-etiquette-for-business/
• ↑ https://thenextweb.com/future-of-communications/2015/04/06/5-types-of-social-spam-and-how-to-prevent-them/

About This Article

To have good manners, address people politely with phrases such as “please,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me." Additionally, practice basic courtesy, like holding the door open for others, or giving up your seat on public transportation to someone who’s elderly or struggling to stand up. When eating with others, make sure to chew with your mouth closed, and ask someone to pass you a dish or seasoning instead of reaching across the table. If you need to leave the table, say "Excuse me," or ask "May I be excused?" if you're a child or teenager. For more advice, like how to practice proper phone etiquette, keep reading. Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Manners Worksheets

Customize manners worksheets.

If you're assigning this to your students, copy the worksheet to your account and save. When creating an assignment, just select it as a template!

What are Manners?

Manners, in simple terms, refer to the way individuals conduct themselves in social situations. They encompass a set of behaviors, words, and actions that demonstrate respect, kindness, and consideration for others. Teaching children about this involves instilling values that promote positive interactions and healthy relationships.

The Importance of Good Manners for Kids

• Kindness and Empathy: Good manners are rooted in kindness and empathy. Children who are taught to be considerate of others' feelings tend to develop stronger connections and build lasting friendships.
• Respect for Others: Respecting others' personal space, opinions, and boundaries is a crucial aspect of good manners. It cultivates a sense of tolerance and acceptance within children.
• Building Positive Social Skills: Understanding and practicing good manners help children develop essential social skills, such as active listening, effective communication, and conflict resolution.
• Reflecting Values: Manners are a reflection of the values children imbibe from their parents, teachers, and caregivers. By promoting good manners, adults help shape a child's character and ethical framework.

What are Some Examples of Manners for Kids?

• Saying "Please" and "Thank You": Encouraging kids to use polite language when requesting something ("please") and expressing gratitude ("thank you") fosters respect and appreciation.
• Sharing and Taking Turns: Demonstrating the importance of sharing toys, snacks, or classroom materials teaches kids about empathy and cooperation.
• Listening Attentively: Encouraging children to listen actively when others are speaking shows respect and promotes better communication skills.
• Apologizing Sincerely: Teach kids to apologize when they make mistakes or unintentionally hurt others reinforces accountability and empathy.
• Using Table Manners: Practicing good table manners, such as chewing with their mouths closed and using utensils properly, helps kids navigate social situations with ease.
• Respecting Personal Space: Teaching children to respect others' personal space and boundaries builds a foundation for healthy relationships.

Examples of Bad Manners

• Interrupting Conversations: Illustrating how interrupting others while they are speaking can be impolite and disrespectful.
• Using Hurtful Words: Highlighting the negative impact of using hurtful or offensive language towards others.
• Ignoring Greetings: Demonstrating the importance of acknowledging greetings and responding politely.
• Throwing Tantrums: Addressing how throwing tantrums in public or private settings is inappropriate behavior.
• Not Cleaning up After Themselves: Teaching kids the importance of tidying up after playing or using shared spaces.

Leading by example is a powerful way to teach children about respect, kindness, and social skills. By presenting both positive and negative examples, kids can better understand the impact their behavior has on others and develop essential life skills that will serve them well in various social settings. As parents and educators, nurturing good manners in children is a gift that will shape them into compassionate, considerate, and well-rounded individuals who positively contribute to society.

How to Instill Values with Our Worksheets

Good manners are the building blocks of positive social interactions and personal growth. Teaching children about this from an early age not only helps them navigate various social situations with ease but also fosters essential values like respect, kindness, and empathy. One effective way to instill these values in kids is through the use of engaging and interactive handouts.

Manners Worksheets for Preschoolers: A Fun and Educational Tool

These worksheets for preschoolers serve as a fun and interactive medium to introduce young learners to this concept. These worksheets are thoughtfully designed to be visually appealing, incorporating playful graphics and vibrant colors to keep children engaged while they learn.

Free Printable Manners Worksheets: Accessible for All

To ensure that valuable resources are accessible to all, numerous websites offer free printable worksheets. They cover a wide range of topics, including greetings, sharing, saying "please" and "thank you," and more. With these resources readily available, parents, teachers, and caregivers can easily incorporate lessons into their children's daily routines.

Manners Games and Activities: Making Learning Enjoyable

Games and activities found within these worksheets make learning enjoyable for children. Through interactive exercises such as matching, coloring, and completing sentences, kids not only grasp the concepts more effectively but also have fun while doing so. These activities create a positive learning environment that encourages participation and active engagement.

Lesson Plans and Classroom Integration: Fostering a Culture of Respect

Incorporating these handouts into lesson plans allows teachers to integrate the teaching of this topic seamlessly into their curriculum. By emphasizing the importance of this in the classroom, educators create a culture of respect, kindness, and empathy, which can significantly impact the overall classroom dynamics and enhance the students' social skills.

Involving Families: Extending the Learning Beyond School

These worksheets can serve as a bridge between school and home, as children can share what they learn with their family. Encouraging parents and guardians to participate in manners-related activities helps reinforce these values in everyday life. Families can collaborate on the worksheets, reflecting on the importance of good manners in their interactions with one another and the wider community.

Example Activities to Incorporate Manners Worksheets in the Classroom

Incorporating these handouts in the classroom can be a powerful way to teach students about the importance of this topic, while making the learning process enjoyable and engaging. These activities not only reinforce essential values such as respect and kindness but also provide kids with practical examples of how to apply good manners in various situations. Let's explore some exciting and effective ways to use worksheets in the classroom that involve matching, reflecting, completing, and more.

• Matching Game: Create a matching game using the worksheets, where kids match scenarios with appropriate manners. For example, they can match a situation like "Receiving a gift" with the appropriate manner, which could be "Say 'thank you' with a smile." This activity reinforces the concept and helps students remember and understand the appropriate responses in different situations.
• Role-Play Troublesome Scenarios: Divide the class into groups and assign each group a trouble scenario involving a lack of manners. Provide them with a worksheet that reflects the correct behavior for the situation. Let the students role-play the scenarios with their newfound knowledge, encouraging them to apply what they have learned in resolving conflicts.
• Manners Print and Color: Offer worksheets for preschoolers that can print and color. This creative activity not only engages, but also serves as a visual reminder. As they color the worksheets, encourage discussions about the importance of each manner, fostering a deeper understanding of respectful behaviors.
• Complete the Manners Sentences: Provide worksheets with incomplete sentences and ask students to complete them with the appropriate response or behavior. For instance, "When someone is talking to me, I should ____________." This activity reinforces understanding, while encouraging critical thinking and expression.
• Manners Reflection Journal: Assign students a reflection journal where they record instances when they encountered good or bad manners throughout the week. Encourage them to reflect and write about how they felt and how they responded in each situation. This activity promotes self-awareness and helps students internalize values.
• The Perfect Manners Skit: Allow students to work in small groups and create skits showcasing scenarios with perfect manners. Provide them with a worksheet as a reference to ensure accuracy. After rehearsing, each group can perform their skits in front of the class, demonstrating their learning in action.
• Table Manners Etiquette: Introduce a specific worksheet that focuses on table manners etiquette. Provide students with a table manners worksheet that lists various scenarios, both good and bad. For each scenario, have students identify the appropriate behaviors or actions that should be followed.

Incorporating these worksheets into the classroom through engaging activities can have a profound impact on students' understanding and application of good manners. By involving them in matching games, role-plays, coloring, completing sentences, journaling, and skits, students not only grasp the concept, but also internalize the values of respect and kindness.

How to Make a Manners Worksheet

Choose one of the premade templates.

We have lots of templates to choose from. Take a look at our example for inspiration!

Click on “Copy Template”

Once you do this, you will be directed to the storyboard creator.

Give Your Worksheet a Name!

Be sure to call it something related to the topic so that you can easily find it in the future.

Edit Your Worksheet

This is where you will include directions, specific images, and make any aesthetic changes that you would like. The options are endless!

Click "Save and Exit"

When you are finished, click this button in the lower right hand corner to exit your storyboard.

From here you can print, download as a PDF, attach it to an assignment and use it digitally, and more!

Happy Creating!

Frequently Asked Questions About Manners Worksheets

How to teach manners to preschoolers.

Using worksheets for preschoolers is an excellent approach. These worksheets are designed to be engaging and interactive, making learning enjoyable for young learners.

What age group is best suited for these worksheets?

These worksheets are suitable for various age groups, including preschoolers and early elementary school students. The activities and content can be tailored to meet the developmental needs of different age ranges.

Where can I find free printable manners worksheets for my classroom?

Storyboard That offers a wide range of free printable worksheets, making it easy for educators to access valuable resources without any cost.

How do I incorporate a manners worksheet into my lessons?

You can seamlessly integrate manners worksheets into your lessons by using them as matching games, role-play activities, completing sentences, or even as coloring exercises to reinforce the concept of good manners.

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Good Manners and Behavior

Good Manners are the external expressions of one’s inner goodness and education. They generate a good and welcome response. If you are respectful to others then you are more likely to be treated with respect by them. Manners are important to make a good impression on others in everyday life.

Good manners can be acquired from good dealings and behavior. If you show good manners everywhere you go, you are more likely to encourage others to behave in the same way towards you. Well developed societies show much regard or respects to their elders. Because they learn this from an observation of their ancestors or pre-built heritage. It shows the best you have to offer and encourage others to be their best. Good manners can be inherited from good, educated and well-mannered or well-behaved families. If anyone becomes accustomed to good manners or behave well, he can under no circumstances mishave with anyone.

Man is a rational being. He is heavenly or divinely declared as “Ashraful Makhtlukat”- the noblest creation. His rationality urges him to probe the mysteries of nature, to consider the elements, reach the moon and go beyond extension. He cannot remain sitting idly. His great thirst and hunger for knowledge and enlightenment now know no bounds. He strives hard to know the art of exhibiting good conduct.

The principles of good manners and etiquettes make life pleasant, smooth and easy. No matter where you are, at home- with kids, at work- with colleagues, or with friends, practicing good manners are important. Hence man makes manners and manners make him a real man. They reflect each other and go together. Good manners form the very foundation of our culture and civilization.

Good manners help a man turn friendly even to an enemy. The holy prophet (Sm) learned good manners from heaven. He could easily lift the curtail and developed a friendship with all by dint of good manners. If all the members of a family are well mannered and well-behaved, it will be a civilized and aristocratic family.

Good manners also demand equal behavior with all and sundry without any distinction between caste and creed. It does not tell us to behave well only with our near and dear ones. They urge us to stand up in the presence of elders and senior citizens. Good manners and civilization are closely linked. These are painstakingly taught and labouriously cultivated in all institutions and families. Good manners do not have any exaggeration in it. Gold is always gold whether it is in possession of any rich or poor man.

Good manners indicate good dealings, behavior, conduct, etc. They are simply respect and consideration for others or being aware of the needs of others. It makes a man real man who under no circumstances misbehaves with anyone. So, Give Respect and Take Respect!

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Online Etiquette: 14 Netiquette Rules Online Students Should Know

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Most people are familiar with the term etiquette and what it carries. From a young age, we are taught to behave properly and have good manners. Now, with many parts of our lives moving online, including even education , a need has arisen for a set of specific online etiquette guidelines that apply to cyber behavior.

Netiquette rules dictate what tasteful and respectful online behavior is.  How to speak respectfully without taking part in disrespect or bullying is among the main reasons why we need netiquette guidelines.

These rules tend to change over time due to the changing nature of the online space. For online students , all of the communication takes place online which is why these rules are especially important to them. Here are a few ground netiquette rules for online classes that students should be aware of.

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Why Is Online Etiquette Important?

More and more classes are being held online nowadays, so it is important for participants to have an understanding of the rules of online etiquette. These rules help to keep discussions focused, on track, and respectful. Without online etiquette rules, conversations and debates can quickly disintegrate into misunderstanding, and rude language and behavior, which destroys the chance of smooth communication and maintaining healthy relationships.

1. Be Careful With Your Tone

While an online conversation with friends doesn’t necessarily require much thought, the same doesn’t go for when you are having a conversation with professors. You should be careful with capitalization, as writing in ALL-CAPS can oftentimes be interpreted as YELLING! and will be viewed as impolite. Similarly, a joke can oftentimes be perceived as a rude remark. This is why you have to make sure that your point doesn’t get lost in translation.

Apart from texting, it is also advisable to be aware of your tone in online classes that use audio or video forms. However, this is where the rules of general etiquette apply more. For instance, not talking over someone, listening carefully, actively participating in class, etc.

2. Be Accurate and  Factual

The internet is a vast place with information coming from all sorts of sources. This is why you should be careful when providing information. It’s important to fact-check everything you read and possibly include sources when giving advice or information.

When getting your degree online , you should be careful to include credible sources in all your papers and when you help your classmates by providing information on a subject. Likewise, you should be cautious about what you choose to believe on the internet and what you share with others. For instance, if you’re unsure how to go about it, stick to official sites that are known for credibility.

3. Search First, Then Ask

If you get stuck with a question on a certain assignment, it’s better to search for it before you ask your classmates or the professor. It’s possible that you might find your answer fast, and there will be no need to include third parties.

The same goes for questions regarding class structure. You may find your answers in the syllabus or the university website. Of course, if you fail to find your answer after some time spent searching, you should turn to your professors or peers for help.

4. Don’t Use Sarcasm Freely

While in person, we communicate with the help of facial expressions and gestures. Conveying the same message online can prove more challenging. This is especially true when it comes to sarcastic humor, as it usually isn’t possible to transmit the tone of voice when using text.

A light-hearted joke can be viewed differently in the text. You will need to be careful about making the intent behind your words as clear as possible, which is why sarcasm is off-limits most times.

But many people love jokes (including many of our professors), so just make sure that it is clear that you are being funny, and not rude. Emoticons and smilys can be helpful when conveying sarcasm or humor.

5. Be as Polite as You Are In Person

Being polite on the internet should be as common as in real life. Unfortunately, that is not the case in many situations. A significant number of people tend to use the internet as a cover and their display as a shield, which leads to them writing what they would never say in public.

A key part of netiquette is only typing what you would be comfortable with saying to someone’s face. Hence being respectful and polite to others should be part of your communications online.

And remember,  If you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, don’t say it online either.

6. Use Proper  Grammar and Punctuation

Many people tend to forget the rules that apply to writing when communicating online. However, resorting to proper grammar and punctuation can make the message seem more professional and thought out. Not only does it make your text more readable, but it can also prepare you for professional writing that you might do in the future.

Think about what you would like to read yourself. It should be easy to read and comprehensible. That way, you will save precious time for someone reading your email,  message, comment, or post.

So, remember to keep your written communication formal and professional, and save shortcuts and textspeak for ur friends.

7. Stay on Topic

When there is a discussion happening, it’s crucial that everyone stays on topic. It’s easy to stray off the initial conversation, especially when there are many people participating in it. Filling the conversation with unnecessary information can lose precious time, and make it hard for someone to understand what the discussion is really about.

So, make sure that you understand what the discussion is about and only reply with things relevant to it. This can prove helpful to both you and the others.

8. Remember That Nothing Is Private Online

Online privacy is something you should keep in mind when typing anything. Most things you post and share are probably going to be there for a long time. This means that you should stay away from anything considered inappropriate and rude.

And never forward personal emails or photos without the permission of those involved in the communication. Be careful when sharing information, and never share anything about a student or a professor without their consent.

Remember that we live in a day and age where many things take place online, and building an online presence is just as important as the real-life one. That being said, there is no ‘real privacy’ on the internet, and you should handle what you share wisely.

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9. Make Clear and Brief Points

Unlike face-to-face interactions, taking too long to get to a point can result in the message getting lost in the text. Hence it is best to use short and clear sentences when trying to explain something. It gets the point across more effectively and leaves less room for misunderstandings.

Don’t let your point get lost in translation by typing too many unnecessary words. However, make sure that all the information you want to present is still there.

10. Respect People’s Privacy

Treat others’ privacy the same way you would want some to handle your private information. You shouldn’t give the personal information of your classmates and professors online to anyone.

This means being careful with passwords, whereabouts, private conversations, and pictures. The same goes for both your and others’ information, as it can be dangerous to distribute any of it without caution.

11. Use Your Professors’ Proper Titles

Although using the proper title for your professor should be understood, many people tend to forget it once classes are online . As a result, a certain amount of formality is a vital part of netiquette guidelines for students. Unless, the professor states otherwise, you should always refer to them professionally.

Apart from using their proper title, you should always be careful to be respectful towards them in all forms of online communication. You should act the same as you would in a traditional classroom.

12. Respect Others’ Opinions

You should be aware that you’re not always going to agree with the opinions of your classmates or professors. However, keep in mind that you should always be respectful in discussions. You can disagree with someone and respect their opinions at the same time.

Although online learning carries a level of anonymity and distance that traditional classes don’t, that shouldn’t serve as a reason to not be kind to someone. Remember that an online classroom is still a classroom.

So, respect others’ views and refrain from belittling opinions that are different from yours. You can disagree or discuss with someone, of course, but be sensitive and do that respectfully.

13. Don’t Overuse the Chat Box

Many online classes come with chat boxes to help students communicate. They serve as a way of letting students communicate with each other and ask questions related to what they are learning. However, if not used carefully they can turn into a distraction box.

You should know to only use the chatbox when your text is going to be relevant to the topic you’re discussing in class. It’s not advisable to use it as a tool for chatting with fellow students about irrelevant matters.

So instead, use the chat box to ask relevant questions, participate in discussions, or answer when the professor asks.

14. Submit Assignments Carefully

Being mindful of how to submit online assignments to professors should be something every student knows how to do. Since there is no face-to-face interaction, if you fail to put your name on it or mess up the subject line, your assignment can easily be lost in a pile of emails.

Another thing to be careful with when submitting assignments online is attachments. You shouldn’t attach files for which you are not sure if the other person will be able to open. Additionally, you should follow specific instructions your professor gives about assignments.

The online community has its own set of rules that are referred to as netiquette. There are many things that online students should keep in mind, such as tone of voice, accuracy, proper grammar, privacy, etc. Being familiar with the unwritten rules of the internet and guidelines for interacting online can prove helpful with any online communication you have. For the most part, you should remember to be respectful and fact-check your information.

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13 Examples of Good and Bad Manners Around the World

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Sit up straight. Say please and thank you. Don't put your elbows on the table. Most of us were drilled from an early age in proper manners and etiquette. But once you leave your home country, things get a bit complicated. Here are some examples of how other cultures do things differently.

• Watch Your Feet!
• Swapping Business Cards
• Crushing Handshake
• To Shake or Not to Shake
• Clearing Your Plate
• No Tipping!
• Mixed Signals
• The "Peace" Salute
• Exposing Your Palms
• Lose the Shoes
• Chewing Gum
• Left-handed Greetings

1. Belching

In China, Taiwan, and much of the Far East, belching is considered a compliment to the chef and a sign that you have eaten well and enjoyed your meal.

2. Watch Your Feet!

In most of the Middle and Far East, it is considered an insult to point your feet (particularly the soles) at another person or to display them in any way, for example, by resting with your feet up.

3. Swapping Business Cards

In most Asian countries, a business card is seen as an extension of the person it represents; therefore, to disrespect a card -- by folding it, writing on it, or just shoving it into your pocket without looking at it -- is to disrespect the person who gave it to you.

4. Crushing Handshake

Nowadays, a bone-crushing handshake is seen as admirable in the United States and U.K., but in much of the East, particularly the Philippines, it is seen as a sign of aggression -- just as if you gave any other part of a person's body a hard squeeze!

5. To Shake or Not to Shake

Orthodox Jews will not shake hands with someone of the opposite sex, while a strict Muslim woman will not shake hands with a man. To confuse matters, a Muslim man will shake hands with a non-Muslim woman. People in these cultures generally avoid touching people of the opposite sex who are not family members.

6.Clearing Your Plate

When dining in China, never force yourself to clear your plate out of politeness -- it would be very bad manners for your host not to keep refilling it. Instead, you should leave some food on your plate at each course as an acknowledgment of your host's generosity.

Manners that may be good in the United States may not be in other parts of the world. See the rest of our list to learn more.

7. No Tipping!

In Japan and Korea, a tip is considered an insult, rather than a compliment, and for them, accepting tips is akin to begging. However, this tradition is beginning to change as more Westerners bring their customs with them to these countries.

8. Mixed Signals

The "okay" sign (thumb and forefinger touching to make a circle) is very far from okay in much of the world. In Germany and most of South America, it is an insult, similar to giving someone the finger in the United States, while in Turkey it is a derogatory gesture used to imply that someone is homosexual.

9. The "Peace" Salute

Similarly, in the U.K., when the two-fingered "V for victory" or "peace" salute is given with the hand turned so that the palm faces inward, it is considered extremely rude, having a meaning similar to raising the middle finger to someone in the United States.

10. Exposing Your Palms

In Greece, any signal that involves showing your open palm is extremely offensive. Such gestures include waving, as well as making a "stop" sign. If you do wish to wave goodbye to someone in Greece, you need to do so with your palm facing in, like a beauty pageant contestant or a member of the royal family.

11. Lose the Shoes

In many countries, particularly in Asia and South America, it is essential to remove your shoes when entering someone's home, while in most of Europe it is polite to ask your host whether they would prefer you to do so. The reason, as anyone who's ever owned white carpet will attest, is simple hygiene and cleanliness.

12. Chewing Gum

Chewing gum might be good for dental hygiene , but in many parts of the world, particularly Luxembourg, Switzerland, and France, public gum-chewing is considered vulgar, while in Singapore most types of gum have been illegal since 1992 when residents grew tired of scraping the sticky stuff off their sidewalks.

13. Left-handed Greetings

In most Arab countries, the left hand is considered unclean, and it is extremely rude to offer it for a handshake or to wave a greeting. Similarly, it is impolite to pass food or eat with the left hand. If you must know why, let's just say that, historically, people living in deserts didn't have access to toilet paper, so the left hand was used for "hygienic functions," then cleaned by rubbing it in the sand.

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:

Helen Davies, Marjorie Dorfman, Mary Fons, Deborah Hawkins, Martin Hintz, Linnea Lundgren, David Priess, Julia Clark Robinson, Paul Seaburn, Heidi Stevens, and Steve Theunissen

Manners Around the World FAQ

What is cultural etiquette, which country has the best manners, can good manners in one country be bad manners in another country, are table manners the same worldwide, what are the three rules of etiquette, lots more information, related articles.

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19 Old-Fashioned Good Manners That Today’s Youth Should Learn

Posted: March 12, 2024 | Last updated: March 12, 2024

Teaching manners not only helps children navigate social situations with grace but also instills values of respect, consideration, and empathy toward others. It seems as though some good manners have started slipping away. Here are 19 good, old-fashioned manners that today’s youth should learn.

Waiting Their Turn

We live in an immediate gratification world, but that doesn’t mean we can’t teach our children some old-school patience. Teaching children to wait patiently for their turn in conversations or activities instills respect for others’ time and contributions. Eventually, they will have to stand in lines and wait to speak in meetings as adults, so we should start teaching them now.

Making Eye Contact

Teaching children to make eye contact during conversations demonstrates engagement and respect for the speaker. Making eye contact with someone who is speaking keeps the mind from wandering to other places as well. Being present during a conversation is a dying but important life skill.

Writing “Thank You” Notes

Expressing gratitude through a handwritten note is a personal and thoughtful way to show appreciation. It teaches children the value of acknowledging others’ kindness. “Thank-you notes for birthday gifts are not the norm they once were (back in the days when kids sent and received mail),” says HuffPost , but Jodi R.R. Smith of Mannersmith Consulting said, “You could never go wrong with a thank-you note.”

Respecting Personal Space

Nothing irks people more than being bumped into when there’s plenty of space for people to spread out, especially in this post-pandemic world. Teaching children to maintain a respectful distance from others helps them understand boundaries and personal comfort levels.

Saying “Please,” “Thank You,” and “Excuse Me”

Maybe it’s from making demands to Alexa and Siri all day, but we are hearing “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” far less. These basic phrases are fundamental to polite communication and show consideration for others.

Shaking Hands

A firm handshake is a sign of respect and confidence when meeting someone, and it’s a valuable social skill for children to learn. After the pandemic, people started shaking hands less, but it is still a skill our children should know for when they fully come back. Sadly, an elbow bump isn’t going to fly in the office long term.

Putting Phones Down When Interacting

Look around any restaurant, and you’ll see children and adults alike just staring at their phones, not interacting with anyone around them. You also can’t walk down the street without getting bumped into by someone not looking up from their phone. Encouraging face-to-face interaction without the distraction of technology fosters genuine connections and attentiveness.

Waiting to Eat Until Everyone Is Served

As adults, it’s not uncommon to see people start to eat as soon as they’re served instead of waiting for everyone to have food. Practicing patience goes a long way toward making sure everyone is comfortable and respected.

Not Reaching Across the Table

People talk less and less in person because of their dependence on technology. With that, many have social anxiety about asking for help. However, asking someone to pass items instead of reaching across them teaches manners and prevents potential accidents. Teaching children to speak up about even these simple things will be valuable for their future.

Taking the Food They Touch

Watching children at a buffet can cause a lot of adults to stay away from shared foods. Teaching children to only touch the food they intend to eat teaches hygiene and consideration for others.

Addressing Adults by “Mr.” or “Miss”/“Mrs.”

Using formal titles shows respect and acknowledges the distinction between children and adults, fostering a sense of courtesy. Penn State says, “It is good principle to address [Americans] by their title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr., or Professor) and last name unless you are invited to do otherwise.”

Chewing with Their Mouth Closed

Everyone should be vigilant about not chewing with their mouth open or attempting to speak with a mouth full of food. This basic table manner prevents discomfort for others and promotes polite eating habits.

Dressing Appropriately for Occasions

The world keeps getting more and more casual, starting before the pandemic, with athleisure being the clothing of choice for most people on the weekends. But post-pandemic people have started to make their stay-at-home clothes their everyday attire. Understanding the importance of dressing suitably for different events teaches respect for the occasion and others attending. One should not be dressing the same to go to school as they do to lounge on the couch at home.

Avoiding Loud and Hyperactive Behavior in Public

Many people preach to let kids be kids, let them be loud, and let them play. In the correct time and space, that should be allowed. Encouraging children to be mindful of their surroundings and behave calmly in public places respects others’ space and comfort.

Being On Time

Waiting for someone to show up when you have a clear set time can leave you feeling frustrated and disrespected. And we have all had that friend we have to tell to be somewhere an hour early to hope they show up on time. Punctuality shows respect for others’ time and commitments, emphasizing the importance of reliability. It also shows you respect and value your own time, as well.

Standing for Introductions

When you’re meeting someone for the first time, it’s polite to stand up for the initial handshake. “Standing up sends a signal from across the room that you’re willing and eager to greet and welcome the other person into your here-and-now. It speaks well of you even before you’ve had an opportunity to say your first word because it shows by your action that you’re a welcoming person,” wrote Maralee McKee, the founder of Manners Mentor .

Bringing a Hostess Gift

When visiting someone’s home, bringing a small gift as a token of appreciation is a thoughtful gesture. It’s a lot of work to host people, from cleaning to preparing food and everything in between. Hostess gifts can be simple, like a bottle of wine or some flowers, or deeply personal, depending on your relationship. Hand lotions can be great if they spend a lot of time cooking and cleaning.

RSVPing Promptly

When you get an invite that includes an RSVP at the bottom, do your best to let the host know whether you’re coming as soon as possible. Remember that it’s perfectly OK to decline invitations, as Lizzie Post explained in Refinery29 . Whether you can make it or not, just let the person know. Also, stand by your RSVP; if you say you’re going, go, unless you absolutely cannot make it at the last minute.

Offering to Help

Let your kids know that it’s courteous to help people out, whether it’s a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on a project. When they see someone struggling, perhaps a friend whose arms are overloaded with books, they should offer to give them a hand.

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Importance of Good Manners – Latest

Importance of good manners.

Good manners play a crucial role in shaping social interactions, fostering positive relationships, and contributing to a harmonious society. Here are several reasons why good manners are important:

• Social Harmony: Good manners contribute to a smoother and more pleasant social environment. Politeness and respect create a positive atmosphere, making interactions enjoyable for everyone involved.
• Positive Impressions: Displaying G-M leaves a favorable impression on others. It can enhance your personal and professional reputation, as people are more likely to remember and appreciate those who treat them with courtesy and consideration.
• Effective Communication: Good manners are essential for effective communication. They help convey messages with clarity and avoid misunderstandings. Politeness encourages open and honest dialogue, fostering better understanding between individuals.
• Professional Success: In the workplace, good manners are often linked to professionalism. Treating colleagues, superiors, and subordinates with respect can contribute to a positive work environment, improve teamwork, and enhance career prospects.
• Building Relationships: G-M is the foundation of strong and lasting relationships. Whether in personal or professional settings, treating others with courtesy and kindness helps build trust and fosters strong connections.

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• Cultural Sensitivity: Different cultures may have varying expectations regarding manners and etiquette. Being aware of and respecting cultural norms helps individuals navigate diverse social settings and promotes cross-cultural understanding.
• Conflict Resolution: When disagreements arise, maintaining good manners can facilitate smoother conflict resolution. Politeness and consideration can help de-escalate tense situations and promote constructive dialogue.
• Self-Respect: Practicing G-M reflects self-respect. When individuals are mindful of how they treat others, it often reflects a positive self-image and a sense of personal responsibility for one’s actions.
• Role Modeling : Demonstrating good manners sets a positive example for others, especially for children and younger generations. People often learn and emulate the behavior they observe, so exhibiting good manners contributes to a more courteous society overall.
• Civic Responsibility: G-M extends beyond personal interactions to broader civic responsibility. Respecting public spaces, following rules, and being considerate of others in the community contribute to a more harmonious and cooperative society.

In summary, good manners are essential for creating positive social interactions, building relationships, and fostering a respectful and considerate society. They play a vital role in personal and professional success and contribute to the overall well-being of individuals and communities.

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Gen Z think table manners are as outdated as skinny jeans but I disagree

Some table manners are sacrosanct and you ignore them at your social peril. As a restaurant critic and food writer for 30 years, and a parent, I believe that they say a lot about a person.

Those who can't get through a meal without showing some basic social skills and acting courteously and appropriately at the table are unlikely to endear themselves to anyone.

But a new study has revealed most table manners are today considered irrelevant, especially among Gen Z, though across other generations, too.

I absolutely relish my food and don't mind admitting that some of my dining habits have definitely raised eyebrows. My partner has been stunned by how viscerally I tuck in and end up with not only sticky fingers, but a messy chin too, not to mention gourmet debris over my half of the table.

So much so, he's coined a new phrase and affectionately calls me a 'messytarian'.

However, while I consider some table manners to be mere stuffy etiquette that can be happily ignored, there are others I believe should be wholeheartedly embraced.

Read on for my definitive modern manners guide:

Do: wear a napkin the way a toddler does.

Wear a napkin the way a toddler does THINK about all the times you've dribbled food down yourself. Where did it land? On your decolletage! So what use is a napkin placed primly in the lap?

It's precisely why I tuck mine into my top, especially when wearing something new.

It may not be the height of good manners, but surely it is a better look than a chorizo and-tomato sauce dribbling down my silk shirt?

DO: Eat with your hands, even in restaurants

It's considered respectful of the boundaries of fellow diners to not use one's fingers in shared dishes. However, when I really, really enjoy a sauce, I like to use my little finger to discreetly mop up the remaining drops.

I consider it the highest compliment to the chef that I simply can't get enough, though others have been shocked by this. I do use my fingers far more than strictly necessary, and perhaps acceptable.

I would even pick up a particularly succulent chicken leg in a posh dining room, to the horror of my partner, and encourage others to tuck in equally gleefully

DO: Ignore rituals that are stuffy

The most ridiculous table etiquette is the directive to only pass food to your right. Who wants the cream sent on a pilgrimage around the table?

My somewhat formal former mother-in-law was an absolute stickler for this, especially regarding the cheese board. We would annoy her by chopping and changing its direction, taking our pick as we did so, and ensuring that it had been ransacked by the time it reached her.

My mother-in-law was right on one thing, which leads me on to the manners that I think do count. While I believe all the practices previously mentioned are acceptable, and can be embraced in even the most rarefied social settings, if you are guilty of the following, then you will reveal yourself to be uncouth and uncultured, as well as lacking basic manners, and at risk of never being invited back.

Don't mix up your cheese

I am mortified at the memory of being shamed at my first lunch with my former in-laws, for cutting the nose off the brie.

It was considered the most almighty faux pas because I had just snaffled all of the deliciously gooey centre for myself. The thought still makes me blush.

Don't weaponise your cutlery

You should never wave your cutlery around when you talk. Historically, this was seen as aggressive and suggested that you wanted to pick a fight. Perhaps you do, but it's still the height of bad manners.

Don't get up from the table

Stay seated, getting up from the table in the middle of a meal is irritating to fellow diners. If you suddenly spot an old friend across the restaurant dining room, perhaps make your excuses between courses if you must greet them.

If dining out with children, tell them it is not acceptable to fidget and kick the table, and also to go to the loo more often than seems genuine. It is rudely unrelaxing for the other diners present.

Don't double dip

Never double-dip, if you're dining on small plates that 'come out when they're ready', it is far more courteous to take your share and put it on a plate rather than double-dip and dive back in for seconds.

It opens the possibility of cutlery that has entered your mouth returning to the plate of shared food and that is an almighty no-no.

Quite rightly, some people feel very icky about sharing plates in this manner.

Don't dig in

Timing is everything digging in as soon as your dish arrives is questionable, unless other diners exhort you to start before it cools down.

I also hate it if a server starts to clear plates before everyone has finished, forcing others to rush. Clearing plates prematurely is a red flag when you're hosting at home, too.

You couldn't send a more obvious sign that you want them gone. And stacking the dishwasher while people are still at the table is bad form, unless they're really good friends and you've made your excuses about a really early start the next morning.

Put friends before phones

Never let technology be more important than your dining companions. Looking at your phone whilst dining (phone snubbing or 'phubbing') indicates that you don't value the company.

There are exceptions, such as when you have to take a call for work. However, if you have your phone only to check the occasional incoming message, it is better put away.

I am shocked at how many of my friends think it's acceptable to keep their phones to hand. Even my dad, who is nearly 92.

I often tease him and scold him, to little avail. I'm not in the dark ages, so I don't object to taking a few pictures of plates of food, which I do regularly for my social media.

But eat it, don't post it (until later).

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Larry David’s Rule Book for How (Not) to Live in Society

He’s a wild, monomaniacal jerk. He’s also our greatest interpreter of American manners since Emily Post.

Credit... Illustration by Giacomo Gambineri

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By Wesley Morris

Wesley Morris is a critic at large for The Times.

• April 5, 2024

Suppose you’re out at brunch and find yourself in a buffet line that a fellow diner does not appear to have noticed. He casually approaches with his plate and tries to serve himself. Do you A. join the hangry mob cursing him or B. rise to this man’s defense, because you can see that he’s holding a plate, which means he already waited in line and is now returning for another helping? If you’re Larry David, not only is the answer B. but the misunderstanding warrants, in your scratchy Brooklyn accent, a triumphant clarification: “That’s not how we do things here in America! We don’t wait for seconds! Never! ”

Listen to this article, read by Ron Butler

Larry knows from buffet breaches. He once caught someone pulling what he termed a chat-’n’-cut, gaining proximity to food by talking to someone with a choicer position in line. He doesn’t like it but is impressed anyway. (“I respect your skills.”) Another time, when a restaurant employee accuses him of violating its buffet policy by sharing his plate with his manager and main man, Jeff, a lawyer magically appears to clarify for the employee that after a diner purchases a meal what he does with it is his business. Justice — and brunch — have been served.

But now let’s suppose that you’re a serious, middle-aged woman named Marilyn, and you’ve decided to host dinner for your new beau’s closest friends, and the guests include this Larry David, whom you’ve already had to shoo from the arm of one of your comfy chairs. The group raises a glass and toasts your hospitality — well, everybody except you know who. Susie, who is married to Jeff and clearly finds Larry as much of an irritant as you’ve begun to, asks, “You can’t clink, Larry?” Why should he? “Because it’s a custom that people do, which is friendly and nice .” Larry takes a sip of water and asks the most peculiar question: “What is this, tap?” It is. His response? “Surprised you don’t have a filter.” Do you A. serve him your coldest glance and witheringly reply, “ You have no filter,” or B. ask him to leave your home? If you’re Marilyn, you do both.

These stories hail from “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” which is scheduled to deliver its final episode on April 7, after 12 seasons and 24 years on HBO. In each incident, bald, bespectacled, wiry, wealthy Larry has stepped out of line, once physically, to defend or offend. I went back and watched the whole series and would like to report that television has never had anything like this show, nothing as uncouth and contradictory and unhinged and yet somehow under a tremendous amount of thematic control, nothing whose calamity doubles as a design for living. It presents the American id at war with its puritanical superego. Sometimes Larry is the one. Sometimes he’s the other. The best episodes dare him to inhabit the two at once, heretic and Talmudist.

Even people who don’t watch the show (and that’s most of the country) seem to know the gist, that Larry, as performed by Larry David, is a monstrously entitled crank, the Godzilla of western Los Angeles. But “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is about more than Larry’s probable narcissism. It’s a supreme comedy of manners. How, it asks, do we share a meal, a drive, a party, a meeting, a bathroom, an office pantry, a city — how do we courteously enforce norms and, with modesty, uphold standards? Are courtesy and modesty necessary ? It’s the only show we have left that’s been this curious about, this keen on the fine print of living an ethical, civic life, about interpersonal candor and the maintenance of a kind of civility while also allowing for the liberty of letting you do you.

Larry makes liberty want a drink. He is insensitive, selfish, monomaniacal, prone to flagrance, frequently wrong in every single way a person can be wrong — by accident, via misunderstanding, out of malice. He can be a bad friend and has been a lousy husband, a worse boyfriend, a dubious lay and an iffy boss. Don’t go into business with Larry or tell him a secret. Don’t invite him to your funeral. Don’t rely on him to watch your newsstand so you can pee. Probably, don’t be his co-star or co-author, either.

I’ve never seen any actor with David’s grasp of how to play skepticism for laughs. Eyebrows as up-yanked drawbridge, forehead creases as lasagna of vexation. That rawboned voice of his soars, if not in octaves, then certainly with tickly, prickly dynamism. He can shout anyone down. For insinuation and seduction — for seductive insinuation — he can drop it low. David has imbued Larry with so much guilt, exceptionalism, cluelessness, terror, cowardice, innocence, avoidance, vindictive zeal, genuine curiosity and joie de vivre that the performance becomes what Larry loves: a buffet. Also, what a liar. And yet who else in the last quarter-century has done more to insist on some standard of alternative etiquette, to speak to the humiliating, exasperating paradoxes of doing just about anything in 21st-century America?

Larry’s plight is ours. His struggle with gratuities and plastic packaging and stop-’n’-chats (never to be mistaken for the chat-’n’-cut); with dinner-party conversation, appropriate in-flight attire, social slights and trick-or-treaters; with behaving neighborly, compassionately; with spills, stains, rashes, snags, dents, nicks, knocks — his, yours. Larry’s confusion about greetings and salutations, about language itself, would crowd an hourslong supercut. Who else, in his attempts to do good or simply enjoy himself, has been as thoroughly misunderstood, maligned and stamped “pervert,” “racist,” “sexist,” “sick” — by strangers, friends, their wives, potential mistresses, fundamentalist Muslims, fellow Jews. This, then, is to say that Larry’s struggle is also Larry’s. He’s the apotheosis of “unforced error,” a person for whom the expression “Where do you get off?” is eternally meant.

The show constitutes a behavioral gestalt. It stress-tests our understanding of how to treat one another and what not to ask, how not to act. Until a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have thought to put it quite this way, but: Larry David is Emily Post. He’s Amy Vanderbilt. The show is “Larry David’s Complete Book of Etiquette,” his (ungraciously) gracious guide to living.

“Curb Your Enthusiasm” began, in 2000, when TV functioned the old way: on a fixed schedule and network-dominated. The top shows still included “ER,” “Friends” and “Everybody Loves Raymond”: expensive, scripted, written, performed. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” ran on HBO, after “The Sopranos,” a drama that conducted itself with the grittiness and opulence of a major film. Early “Curb” episodes are like a bad independent movie — shakily shot on washed-out video, too tightly framed, mis-scored, haltingly acted. It was a world away from “The Sopranos”: an anti-production.

But that unkempt, feral quality was a source of the allure. Its episodes are improvised and tend to exceed the 30-minute mark that’s still the limit for a network sitcom. The on-the-spot approach to creating comedy brings it closer to the raw timbre of documentary. Its wildness matched a chaos brewing around us. That first season wrapped up during the hazy fury that followed the 2000 presidential election. Episode 5 aired the Sunday after Election Day and conducts itself in rancorous spasms. At his doctor’s office, Larry makes the gentlemanly choice of letting a woman off the elevator before he exits. It’s part of his “you first” era. But even though Larry has an earlier appointment, the doctor’s first-come-first-served policy means she gets seen before he does, too, arousing Larry’s spite. “My days of elevator etiquette are over,” he declares. Everybody in the episode wields a policy of some kind — for reading scripts, for borrowing cash from strangers, for giving out phone numbers. Their values clash, sometimes violently, with Larry’s.

You might be looking for trouble, marrying “Curb Your Enthusiasm” to a political climate. But politics do suffuse the show; they’re social and correspondent with the new century’s choleric base layer. There’s no one whom Larry won’t go up against — seniors, Girl Scouts, Lin-Manuel Miranda. Most of the show’s run occurred during the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. If war, national security, recession, police killings of Black Americans, fraying democracy, hate crimes and a pandemic were tearing the country apart, belligerence looked different within the world of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Its vision sidestepped sweeping philosophy. It rarely sought bigger fish to fry, nor was it ever content to shoot them in a barrel.

As Americans’ distrust in unifying systems, like the truth and the social-safety net, ballooned, as we grew ever more trollish, more righteous, more tolerant of tumult and of the dissolution of certain rules, the show didn’t waver; it luxuriated in the bawdy, tactless and loony. For God’s sake, its theme song conjures a clowns’ circus suite — whoopee-cushion tuba, banana-peel woodwinds. The headlines, when they perforate this fiction, wind up beneath its big top. This isn’t so much a matter of the show’s zagging while the national mood zigs (although there is that). It’s a pointed acknowledgment that most of us have no idea what the national news is, let alone the mood. We do know that it’s Tuesday, which means “alternate-side parking,” which means doing etiquette battle in the street.

For gaseous macrocosmic poli-sci, people can turn to Aaron Sorkin. For gripes about the stale array of doctor’s-office magazines, there has been Larry. Nonetheless, the show couldn’t help capturing a tension in our ideas of propriety. Is sampling, I don’t know, seven flavors of ice cream considerate when Larry’s right behind you? How about two? Divisive stuff! The show identified a shift in comportment toward shamelessness. The character actor Robin Bartlett plays the seven-flavor sampler. When Larry tells her off — when he says what we’ve all thought ( Seriously? Another sample?! ) — Bartlett conjures more than “unfazed.” As she makes her exit, having almost villainously settled on vanilla, she is tickled by his rage. The show’s disharmony over not-nothing, over what for a Tuesday can be everything, was onto and up to something. It understood the cheap delight some of us take in eliciting exasperation.

By 2000, television’s protagonists were undergoing a nearly identical makeover that prized antagonism, a transition lubricated by “Seinfeld,” the sitcom David helped create. It ended two years earlier and on “Curb” is the reason Larry enjoys some celebrity and is set for life. We called the new archetypes “antiheroes.” Only, Larry’s brand of antiheroism — insouciance, insolence, disregard for other people’s wishes — cries out for an adjacent designation, one that honors his rudeness, his monomania, his unsolicited two cents, both his indifference to and pleasure in the sour reactions his behavior sometimes garners. Larry is an asshole. This is scarcely news in Lar-Lar Land. You could compose another extended supercut of the number of times the show’s other characters have stamped him with that .

David’s timing was perfect. “Survivor” also premiered in 2000 and became America’s top-rated TV show, opening a portal to a form of television ruled by these people: reality TV, where the country’s lofty policy crises weren’t the going concern, either. This version of the genre sloshed around in grubby, conniving, interpersonal manipulations, in captivating personalities that cast members wanted either to impress or vanquish. Here was a less varnished landscape of avatars — for our co-workers, bosses, neighbors, acquaintances, hookups, bad dates and in-laws. What fun to watch them squabble and squirm. Reality’s parallel universe, premium cable, had long been a haven for the type. HBO alone has been a white-jerk paradise: “The Larry Sanders Show,” “The Mind of the Married Man,” “The Sopranos,” “Da Ali G Show,” “Lucky Louie,” Samantha Jones, Valerie Cherish, Amy Jellicoe, every one of Danny McBride’s comedies, “Girls,” “Veep,” “Game of Thrones,” “Succession,” “The White Lotus.” Even amid that company, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” distinguished itself. Its jerk created a crisis for everybody else. How do we live with, work for, work alongside this guy? Is this guy me?

The show’s interest in comportment always felt ripe for a completely online age. “Curb” has no native facility for gadgetry and apps. Its big-font, flip-phone personality is part of its old-ways appeal. Yet gradually, modern technology has crept into the show — when Cheryl (Cheryl Hines, who has contributed an appalled chirpiness to the stock sitcom wife) phones Larry from a plane she swears is going to crash, he is more worried about the TiVo guy leaving before the job is finished. And the opening episode of this final, 12th season pits a furious Larry against a nonchalant Siri. Still, it’s very off line. What it personifies instead is the internet’s clashing, bludgeoning moods over identity politics and politics-politics. One way of looking at social media tribalism is as a symptom of our sense of powerlessness, even when some of the tetchiest tribesmen are the ones with all the power. The show has always struck me as a perversely optimistic, perfectly basic rebuke. Upholding these codes of conduct, picayune and crazy-making as they can seem, is how a disordered culture strives for order.

In real life, the comedy of coexistence tends to sparkle less. Often, it feels terrible. You appreciate the padding of a Larryesque moment when a Larry-worthy confrontation chafes you . One evening last October, I was biking down a sidewalk in my neighborhood, whose charms include its cobblestone streets. Usually, to avoid the rumbling bumps of the final block, I opt for concrete, which isn’t kosher but is convenient. I don’t have to do much to ensure no one’s walking past this patch of sidewalk because no one ever is. This particular night, however, I shared the pavement with a man walking two dogs. He was stooping to gather their leavings when I announced that I was passing on his right.

“Get off the [expletive] sidewalk.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Get off the [expletive] sidewalk.”

He took a look at my bike and motioned toward the tires.

“What are those? 32s? They can handle cobblestones. I ride. Nobody’s more bike-friendly than me. Sidewalks are for pedestrians.”

“Sir, why the anger?”

“Because I’m tired of people like you coming into my neighborhood riding on the [expletive] sidewalks.”

“Sir, I’m your neighbor .”

“Well, then you know in this neighborhood we handle the cobblestones.”

I told him what street I lived on.

“Good for you. Stay off the [expletive] sidewalk.”

It’s here I should say that this man was long, balding, middle-aged, bespectacled. Larry, essentially. I followed him up the block, futilely deploying neighborly contrition to defuse him. But neighborliness wasn’t his concern. He wanted to be rid of me, because I represented either a composite of policy breaches or a wave of racial ones. My spidey sense tingled. So I retreated, still asking, though, from a widening distance, why he was so furious and receiving only F-bombs in return.

A few minutes later, putting my bike away, I thought about why the altercations on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” are so magnetic. Justice has something to do with it. So does personal certitude — there is a right way to do things, and I know what it is. There’s also the show’s music. It conjures the circus, yes. But it’s also as Old World as the values are old-fashioned. (Larry loves to invoke the Golden Rule.) The music excuses, mocks, farcifies, soothes. It evokes klezmer, polka and vaudeville: this melodiousness of Jewish tradition, of which Larry David is a part, assaying the large type and fine print of American life with the same meticulous relish as Mel Brooks, Woody Allen and Albert Brooks. The music reminds you that the stakes are ancient but low, that there is no danger in the show’s world that is inexorable. The music is transitional, but it’s a binding agent, too. It helps make the city a village, a shtetl. I’ve tried to imagine how scenes on this show might feel without it. A different kind of ridiculous, I guess. Ominously ridiculous. Me chasing a stranger who has reduced me to my infraction, who is maybe convinced that an infraction is all I am.

The show’s trivial obsessions — more or less turning the hunt for whose drink left a ring on an antique table into an episode of “Murder, She Wrote” — do seek to address grand questions. Are we our misbehavior? Our shame? Our opprobrium? Is there ever any point in pleading to be heard out? So many times, Larry has been caught in the middle of what appears to be an insult or obscenity — beep-locking his car as a Black man passes, humping a sex doll that, really, he was only struggling to deflate. Is there no defense that would de-escalate the altercation, no clarification that would exonerate? That night with my neighborhood Larry, it wasn’t forgiveness I was chasing him for. I think it was grace. And it hurt to discover that I warranted none. I’d like to think that Larry David himself would’ve stopped to consider my case.

All this time, the show has been wondering: How much decency must we demonstrate to be worth keeping around? What’s a tolerable balance of crank and good Samaritan? With Larry, we’ve been watching that meter fluctuate for 24 years. But the needle’s position has yet to cost him his most meaningful people. After the TiVo incident, Cheryl falls in love with someone else and leaves Larry. But they remain in each other’s lives. So does his friend Marty Funkhouser (Bob Einstein), who would be within his rights to eternally expunge Larry, simply for the time, at Marty’s father’s funeral, that Larry removed from the coffin a golf club he was convinced belonged to him. “Why should this guy be buried in eternity with my club? That’s not fair.”

It’s not that Larry is loved per se. He’s tolerated. But on “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” tolerance constitutes a type of love. Larry has never lacked for a seat at anybody’s table even when the odds are good that he’ll be asked to vacate it. Tolerance is another way to think about etiquette. Not blindly. Constructively perhaps. The show has been a marvel of that — constructive tolerance. Tolerating Larry is, as Susie would say (and does), a nice thing to do.

Emily Post’s “Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home” made its debut in 1922 and argued that, in what she called “Best Society,” we owe one another our finest selves. The book covers everything from formal introductions to declining invitations to courteous shopping. A centenary edition by two of Post’s heirs is less fussy and a little cooler; it includes an entry on pronouns. The Larry of “Curb” would seem inveterately Post-proof. And yet ... in the show’s inaugural episode, when he denounces a girlfriend of his best friend, Richard (Richard Lewis), for not getting up from her seat at the movies so he can scooch past and Richard defends her by saying she reads Elie Wiesel, Larry explodes. “You know what she should be reading? Emily [expletive] Post!”

Etiquette is a pact. In a functional society, it’s also an offering of goodness, decency, forbearance and respect, a flavor of the social contract, in which we all pay a small personal freedom tax so that everyone feels accommodated. The offering risks rejection, risks offense: Some people just won’t care about their civic duty. They won’t care that you’re performing yours. Some of them won’t care with zeal. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” takes up that risk. It’s Emily Post with boxing gloves.

Larry is hardly the show’s only offender. It knows too well that we all have our moments, our ... things. Clanging differences are what drive the show. And through it, I spy Post’s ideal out on some faraway horizon, an ideal we call “America.” It taps into a puritanical force so strong that etiquette becomes an almost religious expression of gentry; we’re not even sure how we’ve come to abide by it. Susie (Susie Essman) has been the show’s true superego, there to zap Larry and curse his transgressions. Her denouncements are bangers. But they always come down to what she once tells him after he more or less asks whose rule he broke: “I don’t know the derivation ,” she snips. “It’s just not done.”

On this show, no stable etiquette emerges. Susie’s version is aspirational and oriented toward propriety. She’s a proud Jewish woman whose etiquette tax seems to entail the public tamping of her full ethnic self. A stern Japanese man, Mr. Takahashi (Dana Lee), owns the country club Larry belongs to and insists upon a strict etiquette of his own that, come Season 12, the membership has revolted against. For the last seven seasons, Larry has had a housemate named Leon (J.B. Smoove), a do-ragged sex machine who has surmounted an entertainment stereotype to provide a haven for Larry’s insecurities and a resource on etiquette (no, Larry, you can’t break up with a woman in a wheelchair — or anybody! — over the phone) and its Black alternative, which often entails slipping into and out of respectability. In other words, within that pact resides variety. The ideal that etiquette might aim to provide is harmony. But America has always made its attainment laughable. We are a nation of eti quettes — well, for the show’s purposes, we’re a Los Angeles of etiquettes, a New York of them.

It identifies etiquette as an M.R.I. of our character, as glue for our communities. To build a data set, its makers have sicced Larry on us. He’s simultaneously our great crusader against shoddy parking, wobbly cafe tables and getting together for no reason and a white man run amok, telling you he knows better than you how your gender is best expressed, what your true sexual or personality orientation is, how to rear your child. Here is a white man who has managed to upset and insult us all — and at this point, I do mean all of us: every service professional, every race, every executive, every religion, every body . And yet, crucially, nearly every single time, he is told off, cast out, ignored, tsked, dumped, pitchforked, closed in on.

But the one thing Larry has never been (until April 7 at least) is canceled. I’ve thought about that over these three decades, what it has required to tolerate this man. I’ve worried whether my attraction to this show, my fascination with him, is akin to devotion to the brashness of a certain former president of the United States. But I remember that Larry has never cried “witch hunt” or “fake news.” He has no lackeys, no suck-ups, no enablers. What Larry has is friends, and a friend lets you know when enough is enough. Larry isn’t irredeemable. He can admit defeat, can confess that “when you’re wrong, you’re wrong,” that “I’m hoisted on my own petard.” When his mouth doesn’t say “mea culpa,” his body does. That, I think, is what we’ve been watching this show to experience: Larry’s duality. A whole other side of his character and David’s performance radiates warmth, generosity, concern, devotion — joy in people, belief in them, patience for even those of us in error. Empathy stirs within him. He can attach strings but can snip them too. The man whose defense he came to at that brunch place? Larry served him potatoes!

The splits in Larry’s personality inform the show’s journey to the heart of manners, as does his Jewishness. His contrarianism refuses him even a harbor among his people — because ultimately he’s still him and they’re still ... people. What amount of etiquette justifies surrendering to the whole American shebang, particularly if you’ve gleaned the country’s etiquette biases. His explanation of a mezuzah to the handyman preparing to install one outside Larry’s front door is a practical blasphemy. “This is like a Jewish thing. You know, we put it over the door so that every antisemite in the neighborhood will know that we live here in case they want to burn down the house.” David’s performance basks in the terrible awkwardness of being someone you suspect everybody already hates. He hails from a people who followed the rules and lost everything anyway. And yet here’s Larry, trying and trying, in spite of history, in spite of himself.

He seems to know: As divine as it would be to inhabit and maintain some universal standard of comportment, this is the United States, a nation enthralled by an idea of absolute freedom, of being absolutely right. The show knows that we’re too Black, too white, too Spanish-speaking, too Jewish, too Muslim, too bald, too disabled, too mentally unwell, too affluent, too impoverished, too straight, too Asian, too Asian diasporic , too MAGA, too two-party-system, too Tesla, too TikTok to stay on the same page for long. And yet: Think about what it takes to actually make this show, that it’s improvised, which means that it’s people standing around behaving together — for comedy, for a comedic truth that here becomes absurdist human truth. To improvise isn’t necessarily to know; it’s to search, to try, to fail, to trust, to negotiate. This show has been the work of funny people. As it progressed, you could detect some of them barely keeping it together. This would be a breach of comedy etiquette. Laughing at your own jokes is a no-no. But the show has known that the stakes of civility are too high not to crack up from time to time. Consider the alternative: If they weren’t laughing, we’d be crying.

Read by Ron Butler

Narration produced by Emma Kehlbeck

Engineered by Ted Blaisdell

Wesley Morris is a Times critic who writes about art and popular culture. More about Wesley Morris

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Compliment good behavior.

Dear Annie: A few months ago, someone wrote to you about how uncomfortable the bad manners of children of a relative made her feel at large family gatherings and dinners. I read your column faithfully and did not see any readers’ suggestions printed in the following weeks.

The writer mentioned that another family in attendance displayed commendable behavior. That presents a golden opportunity, and I would offer her this suggestion: Compliment those well-behaving children in front of all assembled at the table. Compliment the parents of those children. No matter how rude the other children are, ignore their bad behavior. But watch for good behavior from them, and compliment them immediately if and when it occurs. Attention-seeking in bad ways should not be rewarded. — 81 Years Wise

Dear 81 Years Wise: You certainly are 81 years wise. Praise has all sorts of benefits for children. It helps build a positive self-concept and can keep a child on track for the task at hand. Good table manners are an important part of teaching your child how to behave in public, but providing extra praise for the behaviors you want to increase is proven to work.

My only advice is to be careful not to shame the children who are behaving badly, and your suggestion to ignore the rude behavior sounds perfect.

Children need attention, so by giving them attention when they are behaving nicely, you are encouraging that. Bravo!

Dear Annie: I just read a column from “Crushed Spirit,” whose wife cheated and ruined their marriage. I went through nearly this exact same scenario a few years back. I understand his pain and how badly it can affect you. I was especially touched because I, too, was asking those exact same questions when it happened to me.

Please let him know that he is not alone and there are plenty of us out here that this has happened to. If he needs a friendly ear from someone that gets it, please let him know that he is not alone. You never totally recover from something like this, but you can move on from it.

My life has improved dramatically over the last four years, and I look forward to what is still to come. Thanks for giving “Crushed Spirit” some good advice. — Crushed but Not Broken

Dear Crushed but Not Broken: Although you might not know the writer of the question personally, you certainly display a level of understanding and compassion for what he went through, and that goes a long way. Thank you for writing.

Dear Annie: I read the sad letter from the woman who left her restrictive religion and was cut off by her sister. They were reunited after 10 years of silence, and her sister is still being preachy.

There is a book that deals with this issue, among others, when leaving a restrictive religion. The book is “Leaving the Fold” by Marlene Winell, who holds a doctorate in psychology. Winell has many videos on YouTube that may be helpful. The book is available on Amazon. My copy is full of underlines, notes on the margins and dog-eared pages.

I read your column every single day. You dispense a lot of good common sense. Thank you! — Hope This Helps

Dear Hope This Helps: Thank you for your suggestion. I hope it helps many readers.

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Miss Manners: What should I say when people compliment me on my dog's good looks?

• Published: Apr. 15, 2024, 9:19 a.m.

When I am out and about with my dog, people will frequently say some version of, “You have a beautiful dog!” Getty Images. AFP/Getty Images

• Judith Martin
• Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When responding to personal compliments, a simple “Thank you,” or “How kind of you to say so,” seems obviously appropriate. My question is about handling an indirect compliment.

It happens that my dog, an English springer spaniel, is a particularly gorgeous example of the breed. When I am out and about with her, people will frequently say some version of, “You have a beautiful dog!”

I had nothing to do with her breeding and her resulting appearance, and my saying “thank you” seems to imply that I am taking credit for her beauty. What would be a more appropriate response?

GENTLE READER: “Woof”?

As your dog cannot speak for herself, it is up to you to reply with gracious thanks, as you presumably would when complimented on anything of yours.

If it makes you feel better, you did choose her. And Miss Manners assures you that no decent person would think you had direct genetic input.

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Rays outfielder Josh Lowe set to start rehab assignment Thursday

• Marc Topkin Times staff

ST. PETERSBURG — Outfielder Josh Lowe’s return to the lineup is starting to come into view for the Rays.

Manager Kevin Cash said Lowe, the team’s most productive left-handed hitter last season, is slated to begin a rehab assignment Thursday with Triple-A Durham.

And he might not need too much time there.

“It’s kind of all just how he feels,” Cash said. “(Sunday), he said he feels really good. It’s going to take him a minute to get his timing going. But if he feels good, that’s most important.”

Lowe initially was sidelined in late February, after playing in two spring games, due to left hip inflammation. He was working toward a March 17 return to the lineup with he strained his right oblique.

He started playing in extended spring games last week. Assuming he gets through a Tuesday game with no issues, he will join Durham Wednesday in Worcester, Massachusetts, and play on Thursday. A return to the Rays before the end of April seems possible and would add much-needed left-handed power, plus speed, to the lineup.

Another lefty hitter expected to play a key role, Jonathan Aranda, also is progressing toward a return.

Aranda had two pins in his fractured right ring finger removed Monday and is expected to start taking swings in the next few days.

“He felt like he was going to be pretty much full-go to start ramping up,” Cash said. “He’s been throwing. He felt like he would be able to swing pretty pain-free. So if that’s the case, we’ll start working to get him built up.”

Cash said Aranda, who was injured March 19, will go through the standard progression of batting cage drills, starting with hitting balls off a tee, and work toward taking batting practice on the field before starting a rehab assignment.

“So, still a ways away,” Cash said, “but (moving) in the right direction.”

Hey, it’s you guys again

Starters have different ways of dealing with facing the same team in consecutive outings. Expect Rays right-hander Aaron Civale to take a cerebral approach in making adjustments Tuesday against the Angels.

“He’s a unique mind in terms of how he approaches his starts,” pitching coach Kyle Snyder said Monday. “This is a unique situation, (playing) out of division and you’re facing a team twice in a row.

“But he is very good at kind of reverse-engineering things that have happened. And being able to act on those, whether it’s the second time through (the order in a game) or the second time he faces a team in a week. And it’s pretty impressive the lengths that he goes through in terms of preparing himself and his ability to realize how to keep guys in between (and off-balance). He’s going to lean on some of what he was successful in doing that last time, and then probably just try to apply that.”

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Civale worked five innings April 9 at Angel Stadium, allowing a two-run homer to Mike Trout, as well as an unearned run. He walked one and struck out four.

Jackie Robinson Day reflections

The Angels’ Ron Washington, one of two current Black managers in the majors, said celebrating Jackie Robinson Day, as was done throughout Major League Baseball on Monday, is very important: “It means everything, because I don’t think I’ll be sitting here managing and talking to you (reporters) if it wasn’t for Jackie Robinson breaking that barrier.” ... All players and coaches wore No. 42 in Robinson’s honor.

NFL free-agent receiver Marquez Valdes-Scantling, a St. Petersburg native and product of Lakewood High and USF, threw out the first pitch, which was more than a little bit outside. … The Rays Baseball Foundation and Rowdies Soccer Fund on Monday announced $25,000 Racial Equity Grants to the Helen Gordon Davis Centre for Women, James B. Sanderlin Neighborhood Family Center, Sing Out and Read, and Where Love Grows Inc. as part of their annual contribution “to support organizations committed to ending systemic racism.”

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Marc Topkin is a sports reporter covering the Tampa Bay Rays. Reach him at [email protected].

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