queen elizabeth 1 speech rhetorical analysis

A Short Analysis of Queen Elizabeth I’s ‘Heart and Stomach of a King’ Speech at Tilbury

By Dr Oliver Tearle (Loughborough University)

Queen Elizabeth I’s speech to the troops at Tilbury is among the most famous and iconic speeches in English history. On 9 August 1588, Elizabeth addressed the land forces which had been mobilised at the port of Tilbury in Essex, in preparation for the expected invasion of England by the Spanish Armada.

The speech has become inextricably linked with Elizabeth’s reign, which is often called the ‘Golden Age’ of English power and confidence. Elizabeth’s reign was the settling of the earliest English colonies in America, the establishment of the first London theatres, the early works of William Shakespeare and John Donne, and much else.

However, how authentic is the reported text of the speech Elizabeth gave on that day, and did she really tell her loyal troops that, although she had ‘the body of a weak and feeble woman’, she had ‘the heart and stomach of a king’?

Many historians accept the speech of Elizabeth I as genuine, and believe the words quoted above have an authentic ring to them: they were delivered, and probably written, by Elizabeth herself. Elizabeth was also a somewhat gifted poet , so it should little surprise us that she had a fine turn of phrase when it came to speech-writing, too.

However, no contemporary account of the exact words used in the speech is in existence. Indeed, one of the earliest recorded versions of the speech contains quite different words from those quoted above. In 1612 a preacher named William Leigh offered this version of Elizabeth’s words:

The enemy perhaps may challenge my sex for that I am a woman, so may I likewise charge their mould for that they are but men, whose breath is in their nostrils, and if God do not charge England with the sins of England, little do I fear their force… Si deus nobiscum quis contra nos?

This final Latin phrase can be translated as ‘if God is with us, who can be against us?’

It was not until more than a decade later, in the 1620s, that the more familiar wording of Elizabeth’s speech was first written down, when Leonel Sharp included it in a letter to the Duke of Buckingham. This letter was published in 1654. In it, Sharp wrote,

The queen the next morning rode through all the squadrons of her army as armed Pallas attended by noble footmen, Leicester, Essex, and Norris, then lord marshal, and divers other great lords. Where she made an excellent oration to her army, which the next day after her departure, I was commanded to redeliver all the army together, to keep a public fast.

It is Sharp’s version of the speech that has become canonical, and many consider his to be closer to the wording that Elizabeth is likely to have used during the delivery of her speech.

But what marks both versions of the speech out is Elizabeth’s emphasis on her sex. In Leigh’s account of the speech, Elizabeth tells her English troops that the Spanish enemy may believe her to be an ineffectual ruler because she is a woman, rather than being a ‘strong’ man who can lead his troops into battle. But she responds to this hypothetical criticism by reminding her audience that the Spanish enemy are but men, who are mortal (and can therefore be killed).

In Sharp’s more famous version, the wording has become well-known, of course: ‘I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too’. In other words, Elizabeth acknowledges the fact that her body is naturally less masculine and strong than the average man’s, but it is not mere physical strength that will win the day. Instead, the ‘heart’ and ‘stomach’ are important: the strength of passion with which the men are inspired to fight to defend their country from an invading foreign force.

A key part of the quotation’s success, which is undoubtedly at least partly responsible for its fame, is the balancing of the spirit and passion (heart) with the more visceral courage and willingness to fight (stomach).

Curiously, the very first version of the speech to be recorded was in 1588, the same year as the foiled attack from the Spanish Armada. And it was in verse! James Aske published the celebratory ‘ Elizabetha Triumphans ’, which contains the words:

And this our speech and this our solemn vow In fervent love to those our subjects dear, Say, seargeant-major, tell them from our self, On kingly faith we will perform it there …

Here we find no heart and stomach, and no interesting play on the Queen’s femininity or sex. This has led some historians to wonder if Sharp’s later recording of the words is unreliable and inauthentic.

But it seems more likely that Aske, churning out jingoistic doggerel while the national mood was still jubilant, was the one who took liberties with the wording used by the Queen, if he even knew what she had said on that day in August 1588.

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Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury

By queen elizabeth i, queen elizabeth's speech at tilbury analysis.

These notes were contributed by members of the GradeSaver community. We are thankful for their contributions and encourage you to make your own.

Written by Anastasia Melnyk, Mridupaban Buragohain

The speech of Queen Elizabeth I to the troops at Tilbury before the battle with the troops of Spain is not just a short account of how the queen begs her army to fight for the country. While reading her speech, readers my encounter considerable of emotions and excitement. Belief in God, her army, and victory proves that miracles always come true, even if you say to yourself “this is impossible.”

Elizabeth I very carefully plans her decisions, when she is the queen of England. The words of her speech, as well as the appearance before the military actions, contributes to the creation of an exact and powerful leader. After reading her speech at Tilbury, the reader can confidently say that Elizabeth I is an unusual woman. She is a soldier of her army, as well as a leader, who fearlessly defends her country. Elizabeth I does not consider herself a hub of the universe. She is determined to win. Faith is the only thing the queen can share with her people.

According to her speech, we see that Elizabeth I greatly loves and respects her people. She will not hide like a coward and waiting for the end of the war. This woman is a very striking example for readers. Queen Elizabeth I teaches us to be strong and never to be afraid of your enemies. To get rid of this fear, we must go to meet it and destroy the myth, which makes you weak and because of which you cannot to be able to achieve your goals.

The subjects of Queen Elizabeth I are also loyal soldiers and have a strong emotional self-control and spirit. Such people should be respected, because they are defenders. They protect their country, their children and their future by sacrificing their lives. The reader will not be able to feel the same excitement and emotional experience of these people, who are ready to fight for the lives of others. However, we definitely want to have the spirit and fearlessness of these people, who know that death will overtake them at any moment.

The speech of Queen Elizabeth I contains much more than grand political and social content. Indeed, Queen Elizabeth is confident that the main things in a person are humanity and sympathy. If you have these two qualities, the world will become better. We will trust each other, respect each other, and protect each other.

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Queen Elizabeth’s Speech at Tilbury Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for Queen Elizabeth’s Speech at Tilbury is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

Selection 2 from the speech is an example of which of the following of rhetorical devices?

I don't have numbered selections. I only have the whole speech.

What are the primary rhetorical appeals the Queen uses in the numbered selections?

a. Logos and Ethos

In passage 1, how does Queen Elizabeth l’ use of parallelism reflect the purpose of her speech?

The first paragraph?

We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety to take heed how we commit ourselves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery. But I assure you, I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving...

Study Guide for Queen Elizabeth’s Speech at Tilbury

Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury study guide contains a biography of Queen Elizabeth I, literature essays, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.

• About Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury
• Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury Summary
• Character List

Essays for Queen Elizabeth’s Speech at Tilbury

Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury by Queen Elizabeth I.

• The Intersection of Gender, Religion, and Nationalism in Queen Elizabeth's Speech at Tilbury

Wikipedia Entries for Queen Elizabeth’s Speech at Tilbury

• Introduction
• First version
• Physical appearance at Tilbury
• Second version

Speech To The Troops At Tilbury Rhetorical Analysis

Queen Elizabeth’s speech to her troops is a masterclass in rhetoric. She employs numerous rhetorical devices to great effect, making her case for why they should fight against the Spanish Armada. Elizabeth begins by appealing to her troops’ sense of duty and patriotism, invoking images of a glorious past in which England was victorious against superior forces. She also paints a picture of what will happen if they fail to defeat the Armada, warning them of the consequences of defeat.

Elizabeth then turns to appeals to emotion, using pathos to stir up her troops’ sense of pride and courage. She asks them to think of their families and loved ones, and how proud they will be if the troops return home victorious. She also reminds them that they are fighting for a just cause, and that their victory will be a blow against tyranny.

Finally, Elizabeth appeals to her troops’ sense of reason, using logos to make a logical case for why they should fight. She points out the strength of the English navy, and how badly outnumbered the Spanish Armada is. She also talks about how much is at stake in this battle, and how important it is for England to defeat the Spanish.

Queen Elizabeth’s speech is an excellent example of rhetoric in action. By appealing to her troops’ sense of duty, patriotism, emotion, and reason, she was able to rally them to victory against overwhelming odds.

The queen’s speech energized the troops and assured her faith in them as well as her leadership skills through repetition, contrast, persuasion, amplification, and language use. Elizabeth begins by referring to herself in the fight by using “we,” establishing a shared ground with the troops.

She also employs the technique of repetition later in the paragraph by saying “I know” three times to show the depth of her conviction in what she is saying. This is significant as it would have been easy for her to give up and let someone else lead in her stead, but her commitment to her people is evident in her words. Elizabeth also uses juxtaposition when she compares herself to her sister Mary, who was not a good role model for how a queen should behave.

By contrasting herself with her sister, Elizabeth establishes herself as a virtuous queen who is worthy of respect and admiration. In addition, Elizabeth’s use of persuasive language throughout the speech is effective in winning over the support of the troops. For example, she argues that even though they are outnumbered, they have the “advantage of right” on their side.

This makes the troops feel more confident in themselves and their cause, which is important for boosting morale. Finally, Elizabeth’s use of amplification at the end of the speech leaves the troops feeling inspired and motivated to fight for her and their country. Overall, Queen Elizabeth’s speech was masterfully crafted and served to rally the troops behind her as she led them into battle.

She uses emotive rhetoric to instill a feeling of patriotism in her audience. Elizabeth refers to her people lovingly as “my loving people” (line 1) and “my devoted and loyal people” (line 5). She inspires the soldiers to bravely defend England by complimenting them, expressing nationalism, and giving them a cause.

She also employs logos by providing examples of England’s military accomplishments in the past. Elizabeth notes that “we have been persuaded by some that are careful for us, and true friends to this realm, that greater care is to be had of our preservation, than hitherto hath been taken” (lines 9-11). This statement not only gives the soldiers a sense of pride in their country, but also reassures them that their queen is aware of the danger they face and is taking measures to protect them.

Elizabeth also uses pathos to appeal to the emotions of her audience. In particular, she speaks to the soldiers’ sense of duty and honor. She tells them, “you shall be both rewards and examples to others” (line 14), implying that their actions will be remembered long after the war is over. This encourages the soldiers to fight not only for their country, but also for the legacy they will leave behind.

Overall, Elizabeth’s speech is effective in motivating her troops to fight for England. By appealing to their sense of duty, patriotism, and honor, she inspires them to defend their country against its enemies.

The Queen Elizabeth citation invokes God and country throughout the address, eliciting a strong sense of English patriotism through repetition. The Queen compares her “weak and feeble” (line 14) physical form to her powerful spirit and bravery, which are compared to those of an English king, appealing to the audience’s nationalism even further.

Elizabeth’s humility in admitting her own frailty also humanizes her, making her more relatable to her troops. The Queen’s anaphora at the beginning of several lines throughout the speech also creates a sense of unity and belonging among her audience.

Elizabeth employs many different rhetorical strategies throughout her speech in order to appeal to her troops and encourage them to fight for their country. By invoking images of past English heroes, such as King Arthur, Elizabeth attempts to stir up a sense of nationalism in her troops. She also repeatedly references God and virtue, appealing to their sense of morality.

In addition, the Queen uses various forms of repetition in order to emphasize certain points and create a sense of unity among her audience. Overall, Elizabeth’s speech is successful in its delivery and manages to appeal to the different values of her troops in order to encourage them to fight for their country.

She distinguishes herself from the oppressing sexism of the era, implying that she is as capable of success as any shrewd, hard-hearted king. When talking about the defense of her country, the Queen suggests that she will fight among them; Elizabeth repeats “myself” to emphasize her devotion to her nation.

This is significant as most monarchs would never put their lives on the line in battle, but by saying this Elizabeth unites herself with her troops.

She goes on to say that she knows “no personal cause to spurn at them” meaning that she has no vendetta against Spain, only a desire to protect England and its people. This statement both shows her virtue as a leader and puts any possible doubt of her intentions to rest. Elizabeth’s pathos-laden language speaks to the emotional needs of her troops; she knows they are homesick and worried for their families.

The Queen tells them that “your wives, your sisters, and your children” are all praying for your safe return, which would no doubt bolster their spirits. In her final words to the troops, Elizabeth gives a stirring call to arms that would have invigorated her troops and given them the strength to face the enemy.

Elizabeth’s use of ethos, pathos, and logos throughout this speech was masterful and it is easy to see why she was considered one of England’s greatest monarchs. By using these three rhetorical devices Elizabeth I was able to deliver a speech that inspired her troops and gave them the courage to fight for their country.

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Home — Essay Samples — History — Queen Elizabeth — Queen Elizabeth’s Speech to the Troops at Tilbury: A Rhetorical Analysis

Queen Elizabeth's Speech to The Troops at Tilbury: a Rhetorical Analysis

• Categories: Queen Elizabeth Spanish Armada

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Published: Sep 12, 2023

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Table of contents

The context of the speech, rhetorical devices and strategies, the impact of the speech, 4. repetition, 5. antithesis, 6. allusion.

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Ace the Presentation

Top 41 Famous Speeches IN HISTORY

Storytelling – 8 Tips to Help You Master the Art

Who wrote the Tilbury speech?

A. None other than the Queen herself! In fact, it is said that the Queen would often write all her own speeches, letters, & even poetry.

Did the English army win the battle at Tilbury?

A. Yes, and no. The Spanish Armada never showed up at Tilbury (since they were retreating after their previous defeat), so the battle never took place! Nonetheless, the English forces emerged victorious in the overall conflict with Spain, regardless of the outcome at Tilbury. 

Final Thoughts

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Queen Elizabeth I’s speech to the troops at Tilbury

Queen Elizabeth I used her power over language to frame the narrative of the Spanish Armada.

The speech she is supposed to have delivered to her troops on 9 August 1588 has become one of the defining moments in British history.

When was the Tilbury Speech made?

Fear of invasion by Spain remained high in England, especially with the action of the Spanish Armada taking place so close to England's shores. As a result, the ageing Robert Dudley was put in charge of the land army at Tilbury, on the Thames, to the east of London in Essex.

Dudley arranged for Queen Elizabeth to visit Tilbury to announce his appointment and rally the troops on  9 August 1588 . The queen's reported words during that visit has gone down in history. Read it in full below.

Find out more about the Spanish Armada

Elizabeth I's Tilbury speech in full

My loving people, We have been persuaded by some that are careful of our safety to take heed how we commit ourselves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery. But I assure you, I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people. Let tyrants fear. I have always so behaved myself that, under God, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects; and therefore I am come amongst you, as you see, at this time, not for my recreation and disport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood, even in the dust. I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm: to which rather than any dishonour shall grow by me, I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field. I know already, for your forwardness you have deserved rewards and crowns; and We do assure you on a word of a prince, they shall be duly paid. In the mean time, my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble or worthy subject; not doubting but by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valour in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over these enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.

Celebrating success

The defeat of the Spanish Armada brought fame, both for England and Queen Elizabeth I. Europe was stunned that such a small island nation had successfully defended itself against such a major aggressor.

While the war with Spain would continue until 1604, the outcome was no longer taken for granted and foreign diplomats began to court England as a possible ally. Elizabeth's popularity soared. The impact of the victory for the nation's self-confidence cannot be overestimated.

England’s success was celebrated in all manners of ways. Songs were written, medals struck, portraits painted and prints published. All lauded Elizabeth as a saviour who stood firm to protect her nation, shared the glory of the success with the English navy and gave thanks for divine intervention: 'God breathed and they were scattered'.

Tudors to Windsors: British Royal Portraits

Elizabeth i quotes.

• ‘We princes are set as it were upon stages in the sight and view of the world.’
• ‘I have no desire to make windows into men’s souls.’
• ‘It would please me best if, at the last, a marble stone shall record that this Queen having lived such and such a time, lived and died a virgin.’
• ‘It is not my desire to live or reign longer than my life and reign shall be for your good. And though you have had, and may have, many mightier and wiser princes sitting in this seat, yet you never had, nor shall have, any that will love you better.

The Armada Portrait of Elizabeth I

The most famous visual expression of the Spanish Armada is The Armada Portrait of Elizabeth I (c. 1588). Although there are several versions of the painting, each one shows Elizabeth flanked by scenes of the defining acts that thwarted Spain’s invasion. On the left of the painting is England’s fleet watching the attack of their fireships, and on the right the Armada is being wrecked in storms on the coasts of Scotland and Ireland. In the centre is Elizabeth in all her glory, with her hand hovering over America on a globe. She is portrayed as living embodiment of England’s triumph and its imperial ambition.

See the Armada Portrait of Queen Elizabeth I

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Elizabeth’s first speech

Elizabeth’s first speech, Hatfield, 20 November 1558 (SP12/1 f.12)

Elizabeth came to the throne on a wave of popular rejoicing. She was the archetypal Tudor princess: flame-haired, charismatic and authoritative. In short, she was exactly what the country needed after the short but brutal reign of her older half-sister, ‘Bloody’ Mary. Elizabeth had received the news of Mary’s death at Hatfield House, where she had been living for several years. Many of the men and women who formed her household there were rewarded with appointments in the new queen’s court and council. First and foremost was Sir William Cecil (later Lord Burghley), whom Elizabeth trusted above all others. Just three days after her accession, she appointed him her principal secretary. It proved an inspired choice. Cecil’s tight control over the finances of the Crown, his leadership of the privy council, and the creation of a highly effective intelligence service under the direction of Francis Walsingham made him the most influential minister for the majority of Elizabeth’s reign. The queen nicknamed him her ‘Spirit’ and relied upon him utterly.

Wordes spoken by her majestie to Mr. Cecille:

I give you this chardge that you shallbe of my privy counsell and content yourself to take paynes for me and my Realme. This judgement I have of you that you will not be corrupted with any manner of gift, and that you wilbee faithful to the state, and that without respect of my pryvate will you will give me that counsaill that you thinke best, And if you shall knowe any thinge necessarye to bee declared to me of secresye, you shall show it to my self only, and assure yourself I will not fayle to keepe taciturnitye therein, and therefore herewith I chardge you.

Wordes spoken by the Queene to the Lordes:

My Lordes the lawe of nature moveth mee to sorrowe for my Sister, the burthen that is fallen upon me maketh me amazed, And yet consideringe I am Gods creature, ordeyned to obey his appoyntment I will therto yelde, desiringe from the bottome of my harte that I may have assistance of his grace to bee the minister of his heavenly will in this office nowe commytted to me, And as I am but one bodye naturallye considered though by his permission a bodye politique to governe, so I shall desyre yow all my Lordes (cheiflye yow of the nobility every one in his degree and power) to bee assistant to me; that I with my rulinge and yow with your service may make a good accoumpt to Almighty God, and leave some comforte to our posteritye in death, I meane to direct all my accions by good advise and counseill, And therfore consideringe that diverse of yow bee of the aintient [ancient] Nobility, having your beginnings and estates of my progenitors kings of this Realme, and therby ought in honour to have the more naturall care for maynteining of my estate and this comon wealthe, Some others have been of Long experience in governaunce and enabled by my father of Noble memorye, my Brother and my Late Sister to beare Office, The rest of yow beeing uppon speciall trust lately called to her service only and trust for your service considered and Rewarded, my meaning is to Require of yow all, nothing more but faithfull hartes in such service as from tyme to tyme shalbee in your powers towards the preservacion of me and this common wealthe, And for counseill and advise I shall accepte yow of my Nobility and suche others of yow the rest as in consultacion I shall thinke meete and shortly appoynt, to the which also with there advise I will joyne to their ayde and for ease of their Burthen others meet for my service; And they which I shall not appoynt let them not thinke the same for any disabilitye in them But for that I doe consider a multitude doth make rather discorde and confusion then good counseill, And of my good will yow shall not doubte using your selves as apperteynethe to good and loving subiectes.

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Elizabeth the Rhetorician . An Analysis of the Greatest Speeches by the Virgin Queen

Myriam Di Maio

Myriam Di Maio is a Ph.D. candidate in English Literature at the University of Verona, Italy. Her major research interests are the Elizabethan and Jacobean drama and the law. She is currently focusing on the plays written by the English dramatist John Webster.

In the recent past Elizabeth Tudor’s rhetorical charisma has raised an ever-increasing interest within the academic domain. The scope of this paper is to examine the queen’s abilities to persuade and captivate her subjects, as well as her diplomatic attitudes and magniloquence; in pursuing this aim, great attention will be given to the most remarkable speeches she gave before the dignitaries of the royal crown and the English militancy, with particular regard to those rhetorical skills she learnt to master and sharpen over the years. Since the political matter was, to her, an expression of ‘inwardness,’ Elizabeth’s way of ruling has always reflected her personal vicissitudes. Looking at her public speeches with a discerning eye means probing her mind quite consciously and attempting to identify with one of the greatest sovereigns whose mark on the sixteenth century European scene remains indelible.

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AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Practice

35 min read • february 2, 2021

Rhetorical Analysis practice is one of the most important ways to prepare for the exam! Review student writing practice samples and corresponding feedback from TA Brandon Wu! While you don't need to memorize every rhetorical device for the exam, you should take some time to familiarize yourself with them. To help out, we created this list of 40 rhetorical devices for AP Lang!

The Rhetorical Analysis Practice Prompt

Use the image below to answer the following questions:

In your response, make sure to include:

• A thesis statement or claim that addresses the prompt
• 1-2 body paragraphs  with specific evidence & commentary (how many devices or sentences of commentary is up to you)
• Elements of sophistication - Significance/relevance of rhetorical choices (“SOC”) and/or Purpose of complexities or tensions (“POC”)

Writing Samples & Feedback

Short essay practice submission 1.

As a sole female ruler of a growing and powerful nation during the fourteenth century, Queen Elizabeth I faced the hesitance of rulers and a people who doubted in her ability to overcome the weakness of her femininity and rule her nation to prosperity. In order to establish her power and the prove her worth as successful leader, Elizabeth I creates a tone of loyalty and confidence that serves to persuade her subjects that she is the ruler they deserve and need. In order to maintain her position as queen, Elizabeth uses comparisons and assertive diction throughout her “Speech to the Troops at Tilbury.”

As a ruler, Elizabeth I must establish a sense of loyalty between herself and her people. In order to achieve this common ground of trust, Elizabeth “assures” her people that she knows she has the characteristics of a leader she needs to "be [the people’s] general. and protect them. Through her use of assertive diction, Elizabeth is guaranteeing her people that this victory was not a fluke and she is the ruler they need. If they decide to remove her from her throne, they will suffer because they will not longer have her vigorous loyal devotion to protect them. She compares herself to a general in order to prove to her people that her loyalty is sincere. Although a “feeble woman”, she has the strength of a general to overcome the weakness of her feminine side to be the king that the people deserve.

While proving herself to be a loyal leader is important, Elizabeth also takes into account that she must be a confident leader who believes in her people’s and own ability to be victorious. In her speech, she claims herself to “know” the strengths of her soul and weaknesses of her body. She recognizes that she may not be the strongest, allowing for a sincerity to shine that establishes trust, but she believes so strongly in the cause of Britain, has so much confidence in their inevitable success, that she is willing to take up arms herself and fight. She creates a sense of courage and valor that is not common in a women and further convinces her subjects that she has the soul of a confident king who can lead them well. Without asserting her knowledge of weakness and confidence in her abilities to overcome those weaknesses, Elizabeth could not reasonably convince her subjects that she was a good leader. Without addressing the aspects of her nature that could make her feeble, her confidence could not shine in the persuasive way it did in this speech.

TA Feedback

Thesis - 1 point. I think you definitely include a defensible thesis and answer the prompt adequately by talking about Queen Elizabeth’s purpose. Great job with context in the intro paragraph!

Evidence & Commentary - 3 points. Great embedding of evidence throughout this first body paragraph. I really like your analysis about Elizabeth’s loyal devotion; it shows that you aren’t summarizing! What’s keeping you from the fourth point here in my opinion is that to get four points in E&C, College Board says that you should “Explain how multiple rhetorical choices in the passage contribute to the writer’s argument, purpose, or message” and while it does provide a caveat that “the response may observe multiple instances of the same rhetorical choice if each instance further contributes to the argument, purpose, or message of the passage.” However, I think your representation of diction and tone in the last paragraph does not quite meet that threshold of “further contributing” to the argument, purpose, or message, given the similar commentary. For instance, you say that Elizabeth has the strength of a general to “overcome the weakness of her feminine side” and sort of repeat that later on when you say she creates a “sense of courage and valor that is not common in a woman”. I feel like both of your body paragraphs sort of link to the same argument you make that she is strong, confident, and will fight for Britain. While this is typically something that is good (linking back to a central thesis), unfortunately, your two body paragraphs reference the  same literary device  (diction) and thus you earn only three points. My advice is to look for other literary devices, such as perhaps an appeal to emotion (live and die amongst you all) or an appeal to authority (under God/references to religious authority). Having multiple devices compared to multiple instances of the same device with accompanying analysis that links the appeals to emotion/religious authority to your thesis (loyalty/confidence) would have likely earned you the fourth point.

Sophistication - 0 points. I think there isn’t enough consistency here to grant you sophistication. While you do mention the hesitance of rulers and people who doubted in the ability of her femininity as context, your references the two other times (although a “feeble woman” & "creates a sense of courage and valor that is not common in a woman) don’t really demonstrate how you are  explaining the significance or relevance of the writer’s rhetorical choices given the rhetorical situation . They also seem kind of contradictory to me (is she feeble or is she courageous?) Think of the Madeline Albright student sample where it brings up the thematic idea of how women could do things in the broader context (seek out problems and fix them); I feel like your references to context seem to just be in the realm of Elizabeth’s leadership when they should have been more of a reference to women’s role in society as a whole.

Overall Score : 4/6 - Great job!

Short Essay Practice Submission 2

Queen Elizabeth showed herself as a strong leader during the threat of the Spanish Armada, taking over England, a major country, in 1588. As she addresses the land forces at TIlbury she reminds them that they need to trust her, and they shouldn’t fear. She enforces the trust by saying that she will place her life in danger, by being a general, if the Spanish Armada succeeds in attacking England. While saying this she is conveying that even though England is being threatened and a very significant event in world history could happen, the land forces should not fear because even though she is a woman she still has,”the heart and stomach of a king”.

At the beginning of Queen Elizabeth’s speech she recognizes the call from some people that she and other individuals holding a high office should be very careful of their safety. She disagrees with this thought because she is one with the people. By specifically telling the land forces, in Tilbury, she is empowering them by not giving up and retreating to a safer place, just because she is a queen. This gives the forces lots of strength because they know that their queen has their back and will not lose hope in the country or them. This trust alongside military power is what allowed the forces to defeat the biggest world power, of the time.

These empowering speeches are given all the time by world leaders in times of crisis. While the Covid pandemic may not be a battle like the land forces had with the Spanish Armada, it is a battle because people are fearing that the way of life they know will be taken away from them. To quell the fear of all battles or pandemics leaders will give speeches, or press conferences in modern day, it also helps their re-election if they showed strength during crisis. Another way Queen Elizabeth specifically empowers the land forces during their crisis is by saying that she will be their general if the Spanish Armada do gain control of English land. When she does this she immediately makes the country feel much more comfortable in that their queen will not leave them, even if her own city is invaded. This gives not just hope to the land forces they may have to directly battle the Spanish Armada but also the common citizens whose homes could be destroyed and families killed by warfare. This is very important because, as we saw with the Vietnam War in 1970, if the citizens don’t back the war it is very unlikely that you will win because it is the citizens who have to fight and produce warfare materials.

In conclusion, even though Queen Elizabeth was a woman she had the grit and determination of a man. This significantly helped the land forces respond to the strongest world power of the time. As she addresses the land forces at Tilbury she reminds them that they need to trust her, and they shouldn’t fear. She enforces the trust by saying that she will place her life in danger, by being a general, if the Spanish Armada succeeds in attacking England. While saying this she is conveying that even though England is being threatened and a very significant event in world history could happen, the land forces should not fear because even though she is a woman she still has, ”the heart and stomach of a king”.

Thesis - 1 point - I couldn’t find your thesis in the intro, so I ended up going to the conclusion. I honestly think it is much better to have your thesis as the  last sentence of your intro paragraph . Your introduction paragraph feels much more like a summary of what happened in the speech as opposed to a  rhetorical analysis  of how she used devices to help achieve her purpose. This does get answered though in the conclusion, but I would advise you to have an explicit thesis in the introduction.

Evidence & Commentary - 2 points - Your evidence is pretty general, but at times it is specific which connects to your thesis of how Queen Elizabeth was helping support the land forces and demonstrating her grit and determination. To increase your evidence & commentary score, I would highly recommend you quote (use embedded quotes) rather than paraphrase to help create a line of reasoning (which is how your argument flows / the structure of your thesis & body paragraphs). Moreover, I think you need to be answering why the author used the specific rhetorical device & how it specifically contributes to the author’s purpose. Using words to guide the AP reader like “this supports the author’s purpose…” will help you here.

Sophistication - 0 Points - While I think you do a great job bringing in outside context and talking about pandemics/re-elections, I think you need to be very careful here with how you incorporate sophistication. Remember, SOC = significance (or relevance) of the writer’s rhetorical choices in the  context of the rhetorical situation , and it seems that you are moreso talking about  other rhetorical situations  (Vietnam War, COVID, etc.). Also, I’m not very clear as to which rhetorical devices/techniques you’re talking about (details? diction? imagery? what kind of diction?) so I don’t think I can give you sophistication here.

Overall Score - 3 Points. I think this is an instance where it is definitely more important to work on evidence & commentary and find specific evidence of  rhetorical techniques and devices  to support your overarching thesis statement; then you can work on sophistication and talking about the significance/relevance of such rhetorical devices.

Short Essay Practice Submission 3

Ruler of England, Queen Elizabeth I, in her speech to the troops of tilbury, addresses the land forces during a threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada. Queen Elizabeth I purpose is to convince the Troops of Tilbury to stand by her side during the threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada and fight with her. Queen Elizabeth I, establishes her purpose through the application of diction, and the repetition of the word I. Queen Elizabeth I begins her speech by stating, “My loving people.” Starting the speech off like this, Queen Elizabeth I is creating a bond with the audience, she is implying that she cares for her people and stands by them. Queen Elizabeth I emphasizes the fight for her England as she applies strong diction to engender patriotism from the soldiers. She states “Your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” Here Queen Elizabeth is utilizing the soldier’s sense of patriotism for their country to convince them to fight. “Valor” and “Victory” inspire the soldier to fight for their country and gives them a sense of purpose to fight for what is right. Queen Elizabeth establishes her reasoning through the repetition of the word “I.” Queen Elizabeth begins by stating, “I know that I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman,” by calling her self “weak” and “feeble” Queen Elizabeth is setting up a counterargument to defend herself because she knows that this is how many of the following troops see her. She is stating the thoughts of many and then counteracts it by stating, “I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a King of England.” Queen Elizabeth is establishing her status to the troops, as well as establishing her credibility. When Elizabeth states, “I Myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general…” She is implying that she is no different from her. She is emphasizing that if she is willing to fight for her country, then they should stand by herself and fight with her. In her speech, Queen Elizabeth is inspiring a sense of patriotism and hope to influence the Troops to protect England from Spain. Queen Elizabeth doesn’t speak to the Soldiers as if she was a queen, but she speaks to them like a friend. She tugs on their sense of patriotism to achieve her purpose of convincing the troops of Tilbury to fight against the Spanish Armada. She applies the rhetorical devices of diction and repetition to imply her purpose to the people around her.

Thesis - 1 Point - I love your explicit mention of Queen Elizabeth’s purpose and the rhetorical devices you emphasize. Make sure though that you specify what the diction is - every author has an application of diction, but include an adjective before to describe  what the diction is (emotional? nostalgic? uplifting? etc) . Evidence & Commentary - 4 Points - I think you do a very good job at analyzing the strong diction and anaphora (repetition of beginning words) and linking this to your thesis. Thus, I would give you four points for your  consistent commentary  in addition to your specific evidence.

Sophistication - 0 Points - There isn’t necessarily discussion here of the significance/relevance of the rhetorical choices Queen Elizabeth made nor is there a discussion of complexities/tensions. I don’t think I am a fair judge of ‘excellent prose style’, so thus I can’t really reward points on that metric.

Great job overall with a 5/6 on this rhetorical analysis essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 4

Queen Elizabeth I faced many challenges throughout her reign, but by far the largest was her ongoing battle with the Spanish Armada. In 1588, Queen Elizabeth was awaiting an impending attack from the Armada and needed to rally her citizens to fight against something much bigger and much stronger than themselves. By abating her audience’s concerns about her gender and raising the spirits of the soldiers, Queen Elizabeth I unites the British people under a common goal of defeating the Spanish Armada.

In her speech, Queen Elizabeth tackles the stigma of her womanliness to display herself as a powerful leader that will fight hand-in-hand with the country’s front lines. She begins by saying “I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England too,…”. Here, Queen Elizabeth is being open with her audience and acknowledging her physical weaknesses while displaying her determination and passion for her country. Her direct reference to herself as having qualities of a king of England puts the listener’s worries at bay, as the kings in the past have been strong and capable of creating the large British empire that ruled during that time. Queen Elizabeth elaborates even further on her obligation to her country, saying that “[any country] should dare to invade the borders of my realm… I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.” Though she is a woman, Queen Elizabeth’s determination and passion shines through and erases the worries of her gender. By not ignoring her gender and weaknesses, she is building credibility with the listeners and making herself more trustworthy. Britain could be facing a dark time ahead, and her words calm the listener and give them confidence and pride in their country, something that is necessary when fighting an army that is much more powerful than theirs.

Queen Elizabeth also raises the spirits of the soldiers and citizens in several ways. Near the beginning of her speech, Queen Elizabeth assures her people that she has “placed [her] chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of [her] subjects”. This is important, as committing to fight a much mightier army without complete support from a noble leader would be demoralizing to the members fighting. Another way that Queen Elizabeth lifts the morale of her citizens is by promising pay: “We do assure you in the word of a prince, [rewards and crowns] should be duly paid you.” If Queen Elizabeth had not done this, she would be left with many unmotivated soldiers who needed this money from the Crown to support their families. To conclude her speech, she with the most confident line yet: “we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” With this line, Queen Elizabeth evokes the listeners’ emotions because of her references to personal ideas such as religion and patriotism, thus showing the reasons why she is willing to fight the battle as the underdog.

For many soldiers that had been fighting without pay and were scared by the sheer power of the Spanish Armada, Queen Elizabeth put their concerns aside and allowed soldiers to fight without other worries. She also gives other British citizens (non-soldiers) a reason to support a fight that seemed impossible to be won by the British if analyzed by the size of the armed forces. However, Queen Elizabeth was right: this fight is not about quantity of forces, but about heart. And by making her subjects sympathize with this belief, Queen Elizabeth successfully rallied her people and defeated the Spanish Armada.

Great job with the thesis point here - very explicit at the end of the introduction paragraph that tells me what the author’s purpose is and Queen Elizabeth’s rhetorical choices. In your evidence & commentary paragraphs, you did a great job of mentioning Queen Elizabeth’s gender and how she built credibility. I really enjoy your line of reasoning here in the second body paragraph while you mention her lifting morale and how she was able to motivate people. For sophistication, I think you do mention context “kings in the past have been strong and capable of creating the large British empire” and your analysis of how soldiers and non-soldiers alike were impacted (tied to your rhetorical devices) gives you credence to earn the sophistication point under the “significance or relevance of rhetorical choices” category. Great job on the 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 5

In 1588, Queen Elizabeth faced one of the most imminent threats of her career: the invasion by the Spanish Armada. Elizabeth had the task of not only rallying up her forces but also ensuring that they place trust in her and her plans to come out of the threat victorious. In order to increase confidence in her troops and cast aside their doubts of having a woman leader during this time of male domination, Elizabeth emphasizes that she will be making sacrifices alongside her troops to make and acknowledges and rebuttals her downsides that were associated with having a female leader at the time.

In the first two sentences, Elizabeth expresses her trust in her troops, saying “I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects”. These words of encouragement aid in pulling together the army as one; the leader has faith in them, so they should have faith in themselves. She continues on to say that she comes as a leader ready “to live and die amongst you all”, and lay down her body for her “God”, “kingdom”, and “people”. This is exactly what she is encouraging her troops to do: give everything they have to ensure the safety of their country and the victory during her war. As a fighter, you want to hear that your leader is in the fight with you, and that you are not alone. It holds even more weight as a woman leader, as women did not fight during that time period. If a woman, dainty and proper, is willing and pledging to lay down her life, the army is left with the thought that they are expected and must be capable of doing the same. This also serves as a warning sign for anyone who should “dare to invade the borders of [her] realm”; she is increasing the esteem of her army, making them a stronger threat, and is warning them that while she may be a woman, she is adept and strong enough to lead a country and mobilize a strong response.

In the next sentence, Elizabeth takes the argument that she is a “feeble woman” who is not expected to nor capable of leading an army of men head-on. She responds saying, “I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too”. By equating herself to the previous successful English kings, she is emphasizing the fact that while she may be a woman, she is just as mentally strong as any other successful ruler that preceded her. She wants the army to trust her, just as they had placed trust in King Henry and King Edward years prior. Not only is she increasing her troop’s trust in herself by underscoring her mental toughness, but she is also being open with her troops by acknowledging her perceived downsides as a woman ruler. Despite her being a woman, she will do the best she can to have “a famous victory over those enemies”. And, this statement serves as a “heads-up” for foreign invaders as well–She is strong, she is capable, and she is ready to fight, regardless of her gender.

Good job here with the the thesis - I would include something along the lines of “Elizabeth uses rhetorical devices and techniques to emphasize…” in order to help your essay flow later. Still, you aren’t restating the prompt and answering with something that can be proven by evidence, so you earn the thesis point. For evidence & commentary, I think you have great analysis about women during that time period and how she is “increasing the esteem of her army”. Moreover, I appreciate your analysis of King Henry and King Edward adding some useful context. Ultimately though, I feel as if you are really only talking about diction in these two paragraphs and College Board says that you need to mention  more than one rhetorical device  (with the caveat that I mentioned in Perla’s post). Thus, I think you earn 3 points here in evidence & commentary.

In terms of sophistication, I’m a bit borderline on this, but I’ll award it to you because I think you do mention multiple times (and incorporate it into your argument) that women during that time period didn’t really have leading positions and she demonstrated her committed leadership both in your second and third paragraph. So in total, you earned five out of six points!

There is something that every country needs to be successful: a great leader. A great leader is not just someone who makes the decisions, a great leader respects their people. A great leader loves their people. A great leader inspires their people. Queen Elizabeth I proves that she is a great leader during her speech to her land forces in 1588. There was a threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada and Queen Elizabeths duty as a leader was to make sure that this invasion does not happen. By establishing a sense of trust with her people and appealing to her audiences patriotism, Elizabeth successfully inspires her people which provokes them to fight for their country with their whole heart.

Queen Elizabeth opens up her speech with an compassionate tone, which helps her establish a sense of loyalty with her people. Her first words were “My loving people” which provokes emotion from her audience. She continues to express that she “does not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people.” This continues to establish a sense of trust between her and her audience. She also goes on to say that she will “live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, my honor and my blood, even the dust.” By sharing that she will stand by her people no matter what, her audience can clearly see how loyal Queen Elizabeth was and how much she loved her people. Queen Elizabeth’s tone and her affectionate word choice towards her people, gave her audience someone to trust during this scary and unknown time, which proves that she was a great leader overall.

After establishing a sense of trust, Queen Elizabeth now focuses on her power and shifts into a more urgent and patriotic tone in order to inspire her people and army to protect England with all they have. She acknowledges that she has “the body but of a weak and feeble woman” but she also highlights that she has the “heart and stomach of a king.” This imagery provokes her audience to see outside of her gender and more into how much she loves her people and how far she will go to protect them. She continues with a forceful tone, claiming that if any prince “should dare invade the borders of my realm”, she herself “will take up arms”. By revealing that she is one with them in this battle, Queen Elizabeth inspires her army to do the same. She ends her speech by claiming that “we shall shortly have a famous victory,” which identifies how confident she is that they will win. Queen Elizabeths powerful use of imagery and tone at the end of her speech, arouses the audience and gives them a sense of duty to England. She proves that she is a exemplary leader again when she successfully conveys that she is not just the queen of England, she is also a soldier for her country.

Queen Elizabeths passionate speech for her country demonstrated she was a great leader. During her time, it was men who dominated society, but she was the one who bought England into its Golden Age, not a man. She had to convince her country, that even as a woman, she was going to bring victory to England. She crafted her speech with passion and inspiration in order to convey that she loved her people and that she was ready to do anything to prevent the threat of the Europe Prince as well as provoke a sense of patriotism and trust. During this threat, Queen Elizabeth proved that she was a great leader, and because of that, England was able to rise.

Good thesis! I would maybe briefly mention rhetorical devices “Elizabeth successfully inspires her people using rhetorical devices…” to tie in to the prompt more specifically and “respond to it” persay. If your teacher told you to write it as you have written it here, then just keep writing as you have been  I think your reference of a tone shift and imagery coupled with strong analysis of Queen Elizabeth’s loyalty and inspiration of army contributes to a strong line of reasoning and therefore I think you earn four points on evidence & commentary. Make sure Queen Elizabeth's has an apostrophe 

Good job with the conclusion that brings in relevance of her rhetorical choices, something that I think you also tie in throughout the essay (“proves that she is a[n] exemplary leader again”). Fantastic 6 / 6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 6

As a female ruler of the time, Queen Elizabeth I broke established societal rules for women and was able to successfully rule and protect England during difficult times. She united the nation through her speech and assured them they would be protected by their country. Through the use of anaphora and juxtaposition, Queen Elizabeth I was able to unite and grant confidence in England under her subjects.

The possessive pronoun “my”, takes responsibility for the actions and the influence of the speaker. Here, Queen Elizabeth I uses “my” repetitively in the same sentence as a form of anaphora. She says, “to lay down for my God, my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood.” As a ruler, these would be Queen Elizabeth I’s, yet the use of anaphora also emphasizes each of these things. Putting her kingdom and her people after God but before her honor and blood show that their safety is almost more important to God in her eyes and their harm would, therefore, affect her honor. She also may be implying that she is instilling the power and influence of God himself, as Queen Elizabeth I was Protestant. Through this, she can provide deeper confidence toward her subjects, showing she will protect them through God and her power no matter what, or else it will deeply transform her. Queen Elizabeth I was emphasizing personal responsibility as if her belongings and identities themselves had a responsibility in the protection of her subjects whom she needed to establish trust with. Queen Elizabeth I also uses anaphora with “my” when she concludes her speech, saying “of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” Queen Elizabeth I is ensuring to her subjects that through the influence of her identities and possessions, England and its subjects will be successful in the Spanish Armada as they eventually were. Again, repeating “my” emphasizes that she will put all she can towards defeating Spain and protecting her people and their religion. As Spain was trying to bring Catholicism, Queen Elizabeth I wanted to protect the Protestant church in England. This is also why she emphasizes God being hers, not the Catholic God, and the beliefs of the Catholic church. With many subjects also being Protestant, this would have been a strong appeal of support, which was Queen Elizabeth I’s ultimate goal of the speech. The use of “my” also separates herself from the “majestic plural” of “our” which would have also been used to refer to herself. This again places a deeper sense of personal responsibility onto Queen Elizabeth I. While “we” may seem simple, it ultimately can possess a significant load of power in its use.

A powerful statement made by Queen Elizabeth I was when she used juxtaposition when she compared herself to a king. She said, “I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king.” This quote is ironic yet true, as Queen Elizabeth I was able to successfully rule and protect England for 45 years. Here, Queen Elizabeth I compares women to kings in drastically different ways, yet can justify how they can work together towards success, like a ying-yang. Being a feeble woman allows her to have a peaceful, soft way about her while being king-like allows her to be a firm ruler and make potent decisions. This blend of the two extremes in one ruler allows her to be able to appeal to more subjects who will instill their trust in her. She also uses this to put down any unnecessary doubts established by society about her in charge as a woman to again gain their support and unite them to protect England. Queen Elizabeth I was able to be a just yet firm leader, allowing her to defeat Spain and protect the subjects of England, even as a woman.

Queen Elizabeth I had a strong influence over England, even as a female ruler over 400 years ago. Her power and control over her kingdom were met with her soft, feminine side, allowing her to take personal responsibility for her subjects and further unite them with support. Without Queen Elizabeth I, England may not have entered the Golden Age or had the influence in history it has.

Great job mentioning author’s purpose and rhetorical devices in the thesis. You earn the thesis point. Good job with noting anaphora and tying in relevance to religion! I think you do a great job of juxtaposition to show Queen Elizabeth’s complexities. Great job with historical context at the end. You have a great line of reasoning and an argument that flows very nicely with specific evidence and great commentary to supplement. Four points here in evidence & commentary.

You do a great job at tackling sophistication! You mention the significance/relevance of certain rhetorical choices such as the reference towards God and the complexities of that seemingly contradictory quote. Great 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 7

Before England’s Golden Age, it had successfully defeated the Spanish Armada under Queen Elizabeth I. Although she lived in a male-dominated society, she was able to prepare her countrymen for the attack of the Spanish Armada so that they were able to stop it before it reached the shore. In order to achieve this purpose of preparing the citizens of England for the possible invasion by the Spanish Armada, she wrote a speech to the land forces at Tilbury in which she creates a loving and optimistic tone as well as explains that she is as mentally and emotionally strong as a king even though she is a woman.

Elizabeth begins her speech by using friendly diction to create a loving tone. She addresses her audience with the phrase “my loving people.” This creates the feeling that they are all in one family that is supporting and taking care of each other. It also implies that Elizabeth wants everyone to unite and feel connected so that they can work together to defeat Spain. Her audience feels a sense of security which decreases any anxiety or fear that they might have regarding the threat of the attack. They realize that she is not a kind of a ruler that applies force to get people to obey her orders, but instead loves her countrymen dearly and speaks to them softly. By hearing this at the very beginning of her speech, her audience will feel more inclined to listen to her and follow her suggestions during the rest of the speech.

Elizabeth goes on to juxtaposing her feminine body and a “heart and stomach of a king.” This means that even though she is a woman, she has a manly personality and has the same feelings and thoughts as a king would. Through this contrast, she succeeds in alleviating her audience’s fears that she will not be a capable ruler due to the fact that she is a woman. This was extremely important for her audience to understand since they were living in a society where women were viewed as inferior and simple-minded compared to men. During the second half of the 16th century, many people thought that women were meant to do only domestic jobs like cooking and cleaning, and only men were capable of governing society. Women were discouraged from expressing their opinions about their husband’s responsibilities like politics and getting a solid education. By admitting that she has a body “of a weak and feeble woman,” she acknowledges this view of women shared by her audience. However, she tries to indicate that she is a special instance and should not be considered the same as other women. Therefore, her land forces her to trust and follow her orders as if they had come from a king.

In 1558, Queen Elizabeth I wrote a letter to her land forces at Tilbury regarding the threat of the Spanish Armada. She proceeded to explain that it is her honorable duty to serve everyone in England. She does this by creating a loving tone right from the beginning of her speech and emphasizing that she is as capable as a king of England. She reminds us that love and support for each other triumphs above the weaknesses of a woman.

Good job mentioning the purpose and mentioning tone as a literary device - I think you aren’t restating the prompt here so as a result you get the thesis point 

In terms of evidence & commentary, I think your reference to diction and tone here is great analysis - it’s very specific and also ties in to your commentary about decreasing anxiety. Moreover, your contextual application of the 16th century and women here is useful and definitely brings in a more in-depth area of analysis. I think your argument about trust is valid. Four points for evidence & commentary.

You did great with SOC!! I think you would earn sophistication in this instance, although it wouldn’t hurt to also maybe tie in her role as a woman in the first body paragraph although that’s not required. Great 6/6 essay.

Short Essay Practice Submission 8

Queen Elizabeth I was a strong female leader, the first of her kind in England. When her country went to war, many citizens were hesitant that a woman could bring the, then all-powerful, country the victory and guide them just as well as a male counterpart. In her speech to the commonfolk, Queen Elizabeth I uses impactful diction/syntax and metaphors throughout in an effort to convince her audience of her dedication to her people and to convince them of her own qualifications.

Queen Elizabeth I first opens by laying out the situation to her pupils. By using intense word choices and impactful images, she “assure[s]” them that “in the midst and heat of the battle,” she will “live and die amongst you all.” She uses this intense moment of climax, perhaps full of fear, to steer the citizen’s attention toward her own devotion to the war effort. By using such intense word usage, she is able to better hit home her point that despite a dreadful sitaution, she will not waver in the time of fear. The people will best respond to such a confident leader, and Elizabeth hopes that these tactics will instill confidence in themselves as well. She closes with another impactful statement that “by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory.” The Queen uses the repetitive sentence structure and parallelism exemplified here throughout her speech to best grasp the attention of her audience and builds their attention to the final point of her statement, in this case, a most famous victory. This directs her people away from the opening remarks of “treachery” and towards the ultimate win, all along the way attempting to boost the troops’ confidence.

Often in the wild, to make themselves appear more intimidating, animals will create an image or make themselves appear larger. Queen Elizabeth I uses this exact tactic in her own speech. By using metaphors for herself, she conveys herself to the people as a most powerful jack of all trades, creating a sense of security in her own image. First, she addresses that despite having “the body but of a weak and feeble woman”, she has “the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.” She reassures the people that even though she may be a female, she knows what is expected of her and she insists she is able to withstand the pressures and responsibilities the title holds. She even uses this sentiment to uplift her mother country, implying that the King of England is not like that of any common King. Elizabeth places herself atop of her throne and creates an air of royalty to her people in this metaphor allowing the people to place trust in her words and actions, and encouraging them towards victory. She further promotes herself when she states that “I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.” This shows the people that the Queen understands that her role is beyond that of a title, a figurehead. She will rise to the occasion and bring to them a required responsibility of all of these well-respected titles. By using this metaphor, Queen Elizabeth I instills a sense of purpose in herself and will to fight in those listening to her. Without her insistence of everyone’s role and her own ability to fulfill all these she lists, the people are discouraged and frankly, unconvinced of her and their own all-encompassing power.

To hit home her dedication to her country and her belief in her people, Queen Elizabeth goes as far as to join her people in their square. To initially create her sense of power, dressed in armor, Queen Elizabeth delivers a most awe-inspiring speech filled with impactful diction, climactic parallelism, and metaphors creating qualifying images of herself and the troops in an effort to inspire them and instill a level of confidence in all for themselves and England. Without such a historical speech, the people of England may not have been motivated to fight for a “feeble” Queen and may not have had confidence in their own recently endangered country. With her wise words, the troops go forth with a sense of importance and newfound appreciation for thier ruler.

Love the thesis with references to rhetorical devices and a purpose. You earn the thesis point. I love the specific evidence that is incorporated in your evidence & commentary. You bring in a great argument about how Queen Elizabeth instills a sense of purpose in herself and rises to the occasion. You earn all four points in evidence & commentary in my opinion. In terms of sophistication, this is a bit harder line to draw. I don’t necessarily think that you talk about the  relevance or significance  of rhetorical choices. You reference to complexities is not really pursued (comparing the body of a week/feeble woman + heart/stomach of king). Thus, you end with a 5/6! Great job.

Short Essay Practice Submission 9

During times of predicaments, the leaders’ abilities are truly tested. And their failure or success could be the difference between the countries’ triumph and annihilation. In 1588, England’s fate lay in peril as the threat of Spanish Armada’s invasion seemed inevitable. And the leader of this male dominated nation in crisis was a woman: Queen Elizabeth I. In her address to Tilbury land forces, Queen Elizabeth proved to be an effective leader that could not only lead the nation but also transcend any gender barriers that existed at the time. By appealing to national identity and by refuting the notion that her sex will hinder her ability to lead, Queen Elizabeth implores the land forces at Tilbury to unite under her leadership to defeat the Spanish. Doing so encourages the Tilbury land forces, who are all men, to follow Queen Elizabeth’s leadership, even if she is a woman, for the good of England.

Queen Elizabeth commences her address about the need to unite in the time of crisis by appealing to the national identity, specifically noting her reliance on her subjects, as she placed her “chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts” of her subjects. Given that Queen Elizabeth, a noble, is addressing soldiers, who are common men, at Tilbury, her appeal to national identity remains particularly poignant as it reveals that that despite her title, Queen Elizabeth needs the help of her subjects in order to persevere through this national crisis. And by doing so, Queen Elizabeth makes herself more relatable to the soldiers as they begin to view the queen as just another concerned individual who is fighting for England. Having thoroughly established her argument that she needs the help of her subjects, Queen Elizabeth furthers her appeal to national identity by emphasizing her readiness to “live and die amongst” the soldiers and fight for her “God”, her “kingdom”, and her “people”. And by doing so, Elizabeth further breaks down the notion that she will sit idly by and let the commons do the dirty work. Which in turn, enhances her credibility to the soldiers, who are common men, who now recognizes Queen Elizabeth is a leader who is willing to lead from the frontlines. Therefore, it is imperative for each member of the Tilbury land forces to do their part and unite under Queen Elizabeth to fight for their homeland.

Queen Elizabeth continues to convey her ability to lead England during this time of crisis by refuting the notion that her sex will hinder her ability to lead, particularly emphasizing that she may have a body of “a weak and feeble women”, but she has the “heart and stomach of a king”. Given that Queen Elizabeth is a woman addressing a group of men during a time of patriarchy, this dichotomy proves potent in challenging any unspoken reservations about her ability to lead due to her gender. Queen Elizabeth furthers breaks down the notion of her sex being a hinderance in her leadership by saying “I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge…” And by repeating the phrase “I myself” in front of actions and positions that are synonymous with masculinity and matriarchy, Queen Elizabeth skillfully demonstrates that she will take it upon herself to move past gender stereotypes and crown herself to assume positions that are held by men for the good of England. Which in turn, will force the land forces at Tilbury, who are all men, to view Queen Elizabeth not as a “weak and feeble women”, but as a “king” who will protect her “God”, her “kingdom”, and her “people”.

Great thesis statement and introduction paragraph that brought in context. I think your evidence and commentary is strong, as you talk about how Queen Elizabeth has made herself “more relatable” and how it convined the Tilbury land forces to unite. Your commentary and line of reasoning is strong throughout the two body paragraphs, and thus I give you four points on evidence & commentary. Moreover, your analysis of the masculine vs feminine conflict is very in-depth and earns you the sophistication point here in my opinion. Great 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 10

Queen Elizabeth I, under imminent threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada, makes a speech to her army and through the use of rhetorical strategies aims to inspire faith in her as their leader in order to rally her forces to fight against the Spanish.

Throughout her speech Queen Elizabeth emphasizes her god given right to be queen. She states “I have always so behaved myself that, under God,” she has made her decision. That she enters this battle to “lay down for my God,” and assures that their army will have victory “over those enemies of my God.” Her repeated allusions to God serve as a reminder to the soldiers that as a British monarch she has a god given right to rule and lead her people. She utilizes these reminder of her divinity in order to build the army’s trust in her and their faith in her decisions.

Queen Elizabeth moves to connect herself with her soldiers and emphasizes that she is on the field fighting with them. She appeals to the camaraderie of her forces by explaining that she has “come amongst you all” to “live and die amongst you all,” and that she “will take up arms, I myself will be your general.” She emphasizes her involvement in the battle in order to appeal to ethos and allow her soldiers to trust her by going far enough to join them in their fight. This works to inspire the soldier’s faith in her as their leader as they understand she believes in their cause so much as to join them in the fight. She continues this appeal to camaraderie through the use of the first person. She begins almost every clause with the word “I”, she says “I have always behaved myself”, “I know already,” “I have the heart ad stomach of a king” and many more instances of using the word “I”. She is emphasizing that all her decisions are her own and she truly believes in their cause, she is combating the image of an aloof monarch with no stake in her people. Her display in faith to her military works to build on the soldier’s trust in her.

As a female queen in the 16th century, Queen Elizabeth faced a lot of doubt in her ability to be a strong leader and make good decisions for the prosperity of her people due to the misogynistic and patriarchal ideals in society at the time. On this day in 1588 on the fields of Tilbury, it was vital that the queen convince her soldiers of her strength as their leader and that the her decisions that brought them to this battle were for the the good of England, so that her soldier might fight valiantly and they will defeat the Spanish.

Good job with the thesis point - very straightforward with mention of rhetorical devices and author’s purpose; this is how I wrote my thesis  In terms of evidence & commentary, your reference/argument about God is very intriguing and the god-given right argument is great context that demonstrates significance. Moreover, I think your argument about seeming relatable is very strong with the mention of I. Thus, you earn all four evidence & commentary points. In terms of sophistication, I think you do earn it because you expound about the relevance of God and mention the significance of the time period. Great 6/6 essay!

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Speech to the Troops at Tilbury

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Pathos is a literary device by which the speaker or writer chooses words or phrases to stir the audience’s emotion. Elizabeth employs pathos in several ways in her speech at Tilbury. Besides repeatedly stating her affection and love for her subjects, she chooses visceral words to move her listeners. “Foul,” “scorn,” and “treachery” all hint at the dangers she places herself in by appearing physically at the battle site. When referring to her subjects, she consistently refers to them as “her loving” people, who are “faithful,” “noble,” have “valour,” and are “worthy.” These are all evocative words that may stir a sense of something greater than themselves in the audience; they also establish Elizabeth’s concern for her people, underscoring that they are not simply faceless masses who might die for her. Finally, Elizabeth invokes God several times to help legitimize her campaign and remind subjects of her divine authority. In a relatively short speech, she mentions “God” three times: at the beginning, middle, and end of the address. Her closing words, “God, my kingdom, and my people!” (Paragraph 5), are the three main ideas she wants to leave with the audience .

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Analyzing Famous Speeches as Arguments

• Resources & Preparation
• Instructional Plan
• Related Resources

Traditionally, teachers have encouraged students to engage with and interpret literature—novels, poems, short stories, and plays. Too often, however, the spoken word is left unanalyzed, even though the spoken word has the potential to alter our space just as much than the written. After gaining skill through analyzing a historic and contemporary speech as a class, students will select a famous speech from a list compiled from several resources and write an essay that identifies and explains the rhetorical strategies that the author deliberately chose while crafting the text to make an effective argument. Their analysis will consider questions such as What makes the speech an argument?, How did the author's rhetoric evoke a response from the audience?, and Why are the words still venerated today?

Featured Resources

From theory to practice.

Nearly everything we read and hear is an argument. Speeches are special kinds of arguments and should be analyzed as such. Listeners should keep in mind the context of the situation involving the delivery and the audience-but a keen observer should also pay close attention to the elements of argument within the text. This assignment requires students to look for those elements.

"Since rhetoric is the art of effective communication, its principles can be applied to many facets of everyday life" (Lamb 109). It's through this lesson that students are allowed to see how politicians and leaders manipulate and influence their audiences using specific rhetorical devices in a manner that's so effective that the speeches are revered even today. It's important that we keep showing our students how powerful language can be when it's carefully crafted and arranged.

Further Reading

Common Core Standards

This resource has been aligned to the Common Core State Standards for states in which they have been adopted. If a state does not appear in the drop-down, CCSS alignments are forthcoming.

State Standards

This lesson has been aligned to standards in the following states. If a state does not appear in the drop-down, standard alignments are not currently available for that state.

NCTE/IRA National Standards for the English Language Arts

• 3. Students apply a wide range of strategies to comprehend, interpret, evaluate, and appreciate texts. They draw on their prior experience, their interactions with other readers and writers, their knowledge of word meaning and of other texts, their word identification strategies, and their understanding of textual features (e.g., sound-letter correspondence, sentence structure, context, graphics).
• 4. Students adjust their use of spoken, written, and visual language (e.g., conventions, style, vocabulary) to communicate effectively with a variety of audiences and for different purposes.
• 5. Students employ a wide range of strategies as they write and use different writing process elements appropriately to communicate with different audiences for a variety of purposes.
• 7. Students conduct research on issues and interests by generating ideas and questions, and by posing problems. They gather, evaluate, and synthesize data from a variety of sources (e.g., print and nonprint texts, artifacts, people) to communicate their discoveries in ways that suit their purpose and audience.

Materials and Technology

• ReadWriteThink Notetaker
• Teacher Background and Information Sheet
• Student Assignment Sheet
• List of Speeches for Students
• Queen Elizabeth I’s Speech with Related Questions
• Historical Speech Research Questions
• Peer Response Handout
• Essay Rubric

This website contains audio of the Top 100 speeches of all time.

Included on this site is audio of famous speeches of the 20th century, as well as information about the speeches and background information on the writers.

The "Great Speeches Collection" from The History Place are available here in print and in audio.

This website includes information on finding and documenting sources in the MLA format.

Preparation

• Review the background and information sheet for teachers to familiarize yourself with the assignment and expectations.  Consider your students' background with necessary rhetorical terms such as claims, warrants, the appeals (logos, pathos, ethos), and fallacies; and rhetorical devices such as tone, diction, figurative language, repetition, hyperbole, and understatement. The lesson provides some guidance for direct instruction on these terms, but there are multiple opportunities for building or activating student knowledge through modeling on the two speeches done as a class.
• Check the links to the online resources (in Websites section) make sure that they are still working prior to giving out this assignment.
• Decide whether you want to allow more than one student to analyze and write about the same speech in each class.
• Look over the  List of Speeches for Students to decide if there are any that you would like to add.
• Look over the suggested Essay Rubric and determine the weights you would like to assign to each category.  For example, you might tell students that Support and Research may be worth three times the value of Style. Customize the Essay Rubric to meet the learning goals for your students.
• Reserve the library for Session Three so the students can do research on their speeches.
• President Obama’s Inauguration Speech.
• Former President Bush’s Defends War in Iraq Speech.
• Former President Bush’s 9/11 Speech.
• Former President Clinton’s “I Have Sinned” Speech.

Student Objectives

Students will

• analyze a speech for rhetorical devices and their purpose.
• identify an author’s purposeful manipulation of language.
• identify elements of argument within a speech.
• write an analysis of a speech with in-text documentation.

Session One

• Begin the lesson by asking students what needs to be present in order for a speech to occur. Though the question may seem puzzling—too hard, or too simple—at first, students will eventually identify, as Aristotle did, the need for a speaker, a message, and an audience.
• The class should discuss audience and the importance of identifying the audience for speeches, since they occur in particular moments in time and are delivered to specific audiences. This is a good time to discuss the Rhetorical Triangle (Aristotelian Triad) or discuss a chapter on audience from an argumentative textbook. You may wish to share information from the ReadWriteThink.org lesson Persuasive Techniques in Advertising and  The Rhetorical Triangle from The University of Oklahoma.
• Next distribute Queen Elizabeth’s speech to the troops at Tilbury and use the speech and its historical context as a model for the processes students will use on the speech they select. Provide a bit of background information on the moment in history.
• Then, as a class, go over  Queen Elizabeth’s speech and discuss the rhetorical devices in the speech and the purpose for each one. Adjust the level of guidance you provide, depending on your students' experiences with this type of analysis. The questions provide a place to start, but there are many other stylistic devices to discuss in this selection.

Discuss the audience and the author’s manipulation of the audience. Consider posing questions such as

• This is a successful speech.  Why?
• Elizabeth uses all of the appeals – logos, pathos, and ethos – to convince all of her listeners to fight for her from the loyal follower to the greedy mercenary.  How?
• The tone shifts throughout the selection.  Where?  But more importantly, why?

Martin Luther King, Jr. uses an appeal to pathos in his “I Have a Dream” speech through his historical allusion to Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation: “Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.” This is particularly effective for his audience of people sympathetic to the cause of African American men and women who would have been especially moved by this particular reference since it had such a significant impact on the lives of African Americans.

Session Two

• Continue the work from the previous session by distributing the  Analyzing Famous Speeches as Arguments handout and discussing the assignment and what it requires. See the  background and information sheet for teachers for more details.
• Tell students they will be getting additional practice with analyzing a speech as an argument by showing a short  10-minute clip of a presidential speech . Ask students to think about how the particular moment in history and the national audience contribute to the rhetorical choices made by the speaker.
• Lead a discussion of the speech as an argument with regard to purpose and intent. Work with students to identify warrants, claims, and appeals.
• Ask students to consider how the author manipulates the audience using tone, diction, and stylistic devices. What rhetorical devices aided the author’s manipulation of his audience? Discuss a particular rhetorical device that the President used and the purpose it served.
• Share the Essay Rubric and explain to students the expectations for success on this assignment.
• Allow students to select a speech from the List of Speeches for Students . If they wish to preview any of the speeches, they can type the speaker's name and the title of the speech into a search engine and should have little difficulty finding it.

Session Three

• Take the students to the library and allow them to research their speeches. They should locate their speech and print a copy for them to begin annotating for argumentative structure and rhetorical devices.
• What was the speaker up against?  What is the occasion for the speech?
• What did the author have to keep in mind when composing the text?  
• What were his or her goals?  
• What was his or her ultimate purpose?  
• What was his or her intent?
• Remind students that the writer of the speech is sometimes not the person who delivered the speech, for example, and this will surprise some students. Many people assume that the speaker (president, senator, etc.) is always the writer, and that’s not always the case, so ask your students to check to see who wrote the speech. (They might be surprised at the answer. There’s always a story behind the composition of the speech.)
• Help students find the author of the speech because this will challenge some students. Oftentimes, students assume the speaker is the author, and that’s sometimes not the case. Once the speechwriter is identified, it is easier to find information on the speech. Help students find the history behind the speech without getting too bogged down in the details. They need to understand the climate, but they do not need to be complete experts on the historical details in order to understand the elements of the speech.
• If they wish, students can use the ReadThinkWrite Interactive Notetaker to help them track their notes for their essays. Remind them that their work cannot be saved on this tool and should be printed by the end of the session so they can use it in future work.
• For Session Four, students must bring a thesis, an outline, and all of their research materials to class for a workday. Remind them to refer to the Analyzing Famous Speeches as Arguments , the Essay Rubric , and any notes they may have taken during the first two sessions as they begin their work.
• The thesis statement should answer the following question: What makes this speech an effective argument and worthy of making this list?

Session Four

• Set up students in heterogeneous groups of four. Ask students to share their outlines and thesis statements.
• Go around to check and to monitor as students share their ideas and progress. The students will discuss their speeches and their research thus far.
• Have students discuss the elements of an argument that they plan on addressing.
• Finally, have students work on writing their papers by writing their introductions with an enticing “grab” or “hook.” If time permits, have students share their work. 
• For Session Five, students should bring in their papers. This session would happen in about a week.

Session Five

• In this session, students will respond each other's drafts using the Peer Response Handout .
• Determine and discuss the final due date with your students. Direct students to Diana Hacker’s MLA site for assistance with their citations if necessary. 
• Remind students that their work will be evaluate using the essay rubric .  They should use the criteria along with the comments from their peer to revise and polish their work.
• During the process of analyzing  Queen Elizabeth I’s Speech , consider showing the related scene from the film Elizabeth: The Golden Age . Though the text of the speech is drastically cut and altered, seeing one filmmaker's vision for the scene may help reinforce the notion of historical context and the importance of audience.
• Allow students to read and/or perform parts of the speeches out loud. Then, they can share some of their thinking about the argumentative structure and rhetorical devices used to make the speech effective. This activity could happen as part of the prewriting process or after essays have been completed.
• Require students to write a graduation speech or a speech on another topic. They can peruse print or online news sources to select a current event that interests them.  Have them choose an audience to whom they would deliver an argumentative speech.

Student Assessment / Reflections

• After peer response has taken place, use the essay rubric to provide feedback on student work. You may change the values of the different categories/requirements to better suit the learning goals for your classroom.
• Calendar Activities
• Lesson Plans
• Student Interactives
• Strategy Guides

Students explore the ways that powerful and passionate words communicate the concepts of freedom, justice, discrimination, and the American Dream in Martin Luther King, Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech.

While drafting a literary analysis essay (or another type of argument) of their own, students work in pairs to investigate advice for writing conclusions and to analyze conclusions of sample essays. They then draft two conclusions for their essay, select one, and reflect on what they have learned through the process.

Useful for a wide variety of reading and writing activities, this outlining tool allows students to organize up to five levels of information.

This strategy guide clarifies the difference between persuasion and argumentation, stressing the connection between close reading of text to gather evidence and formation of a strong argumentative claim about text.

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