college essay guy how to start

Are you seeking one-on-one college counseling and/or essay support? Limited spots are now available. Click here to learn more.

How to Start a College Essay – 12 Techniques and Tips

August 1, 2023

Your college tours are scheduled, you’re knee-deep in SAT/ACT prep , application deadlines are quickly approaching, and then it happens: writer’s block hits you hard. You’re stumped, wondering how to start a college essay. It’s all too easy to overthink it when acceptances are on the line. But don’t fret! We’ve got you covered with 12 tips and techniques, plus answers to common questions like: Can I start my essay with a quote? Should I try to sound as smart as possible? Is it okay to use humor?

Keep reading for all you need to know about how to start a college essay:

• Common Mistakes to Avoid

How to Start a College Essay: The Content

How to start a college essay: the style.

• More Resources

How to Start a College Essay: Common Mistakes to Avoid

Since admissions readers are looking to be surprised and engaged right away, it’s safest to avoid these overused techniques.

1) Pulling out the dictionary

Chances are, your reader already knows the definition of the word you’re tempted to copy and paste from Merriam-Webster . Unless you’re starting with a word in a non-English language or a word that 98% of the population truly does not know, there’s no need to turn to the dictionary. Assume your reader is a smart person who is already in the know.

2) Choosing clichés

Clichés are boring in writing because they’re, well…cliché. Before you tell an admissions reader that all that glitters isn’t gold or there’s a silver lining to every cloud, remember that their job involves reading hundreds if not thousands of college essays. The way to impress them is to stand out as someone with unique insights, opinions, or creativity. Not sure if the phrase you’re using is trite or overused? Look it up online and see if there is an overabundance of results.

How to Start a College Essay (Continued) 

3) beginning broadly.

Since the dawn of time, students have been starting essays too broadly. Your college admissions essays are about you, your experiences, your values, and your goals. So, starting with general statements like “Different cultures have different traditions and values” or “We have to be the change we want to see in the world” don’t center you as the topic of your essay. If you’re writing your essay about, say, your Polynesian identity and your love of Hula dance or the summer you spent making vats of soup for a food kitchen, jump right into sharing a vivid memory from those experiences instead.

4) Leading with a quote

“Can I start my college essay with a quote?” is one of the most common questions we get. The problem with starting with a quote is the same as starting too broadly: you don’t center yourself as the topic of your essay. Since college essays are short, the quote itself and the many sentences it will take to transition to the rest of your content will eat up precious word count. Unless it’s a deep-cut quote that’s highly particular to you and your niche interests, quotes anywhere in your essay can come across as cliché.

A stand-out college admissions essay will grab your reader’s attention and immediately give them a sense of who you are, what you value, and what’s unique about you. Trying to decide how to start a college essay? First, take a look at our guide to the Common App Prompts . Then, use one of these five techniques to brainstorm content:

1) Share a challenge you’ve overcome

Since college is all about growth and learning, one tried and true strategy is describing a challenge you’ve overcome that you’ve learned a lot from. Example:

For my first three months of middle school choir, I was nothing more than a ventriloquist’s dummy, mouthing words with no sound coming out. I was terrified to use my voice. Then, one fateful morning, Mrs. Garcia asked me to solo in front of the whole class.

A strong essay about a challenge you’ve overcome will explain who you were before, how you overcame the challenge, and who you are now. Taking this approach allows you to demonstrate that you’re able to rise to meet challenges, learn through difficulty, and apply yourself even when you’re uncomfortable. A word of warning though: avoid writing about very common challenges like pushing yourself to beat your cross-country time, studying for the SAT/ACT or other big tests, or transitioning from middle to high school. Since so many students share these experiences as common ground, these topics will make it hard to stand out from the crowd.

Want even more tips on writing about a challenge you’ve overcome? Check out our full guide to the Overcoming Challenges prompt.

2) Show your funny side

Yes, humor works well in college essays! Poking fun at one of your quirks or (inconsequential) shortcomings can be a great way to reveal your personality. Example:

Every day, I begged. At bedtime, at breakfast, for my birthday, for Christmas—I begged for a skateboard. Mom said it was too dangerous, Dad thought they were too noisy, but still I dreamed of cruising the neighborhood and learning to ollie in our driveway. My 14th birthday was the day my begging finally ended. It was also the day I learned I have absolutely no sense of balance.

Opening with a humorous story paints a vivid picture of you right away, but where you take it from there matters. You probably wouldn’t want to write a whole essay about breaking your tailbone and this isn’t the right forum for a stand-up routine. But you could take an opening like this in a variety of directions that reveal more meaningful truths about you. For example, after this opener, this writer could go on to:

• Talk about other new skills they tried that they were able to land better than an ollie.
• Describe how they learned about balance in other avenues of their life.

3) Clear up a misconception about you

Although college essays are brief, you’ll want to squeeze in as much depth and breadth as you can. Starting by addressing an assumption or stereotype you’ve faced can be an efficient and engaging way to move past the superficial. Example:

Blonde. Four foot eight. Size five feet. Strangers and well-meaning friends sometimes offer me a booster seat or ask if I need help carrying heavy things. Little do they know I can deadlift 135 pounds. My first teen powerlifting competition is coming up this spring.

Clearing up a misconception allows you to surprise your admissions reader and share something meaningful about yourself in one stroke. When using this strategy, think about all the different layers of your identity. What assumptions do others make of you and what might casual acquaintances or strangers be surprised to learn? A word of warning: steer clear of being too critical of others. Although stereotypes and assumptions are difficult to bear, for this essay, you’ll want to focus on you —your accomplishments, skills, and passions—instead of others.

4) Invite us in

Are Shabbat dinners with your whole extended family the highlight of your week? Do you feel most alive when you’re at your keyboard composing a new song or when you’re at a Robotics Club meeting, throwing out wild design ideas with your team? When you invite us in, you’re letting your reader in on the places you’re most at home, most excited, or most yourself. Example:

When I was seven years old, my grandma sat me down at her sewing table and taught me how to sew back on the button that had popped off my sweater. I can still feel her hands on mine, showing me where to place the needle. It was the first of what became weekly lessons on backstitching, basting, hemming pants, and embroidery. I didn’t know it then, but it was the first day of my journey into fashion design.

To brainstorm for this technique, list experiences that have helped shape your values, goals, and interests. Think of things you do every week but also once-in-a-lifetime events. You’ll want to begin this essay by choosing one meaningful experience to share in the beginning of your essay. Use vivid details that help a reader imagine the experience for themselves and then explain why this experience matters to you.

5) Nerd out about a problem you’ve solved

If you’ve hit the library stacks to find the answer to a burning question, stayed after class to ask your teacher for more homework, worked with a student club to improve a campus issue, or concocted your own science experiment, this might be the essay tactic for you. Example:

As a volunteer at my local pet rescue, I surprised myself by becoming a crusader for birds. Dogs and cats were adopted all the time, but the parrots, cockatiels, and parakeets sat in their cages for ages, chattering away and waiting for their forever homes. I realized it was an issue of awareness: no one knew our shelter rescued birds. Thirty YouTube tutorials and one online digital marketing class later, I had developed a ten-step social media strategy.

A great way to share your unique interests, this technique lets you showcase the curiosity and eagerness to learn you’ll be bringing with you to college. To brainstorm for this essay, think of times when you’ve worked solo or with a team to discover something new or solve a tricky problem. As you write about this experience, describe the initial problem, any difficulties you encountered, and the strategies you used to find a solution.

We’ve covered essay content, but you may still be wondering how to start a college essay that grabs your reader’s attention. Here are three key style tips that will help breathe life into your writing:

1) Share a story

As you can probably tell from the examples above, we recommend starting your essay off with an engaging story. Before you tell a reader that you’re an introvert who also loves performing in musical theater, you’ll want to tell the tale of the first time you braved the spotlight. Before you explain that you plan to major in political science, describe the town hall meeting you attended in the 7 th grade that started it all.

2) Use vivid descriptions

When we read, we’re most engaged when we feel like we can clearly imagine the scene. To draw a reader in, use the same storytelling strategies that fiction writers use: sensory descriptions, concrete details, and passing time.

• Sensory descriptions: Describe the smell of your mother’s biryani cooking on the stove, the temperature of the air at the start of your first half marathon. Sight, sound, smell, touch, taste. Engage as many of the five senses as you can.
• Concrete details: Concrete details are particular descriptions of places, people, and objects. If you’re describing a service trip to Honduras, describe the buildings, streets, and food you ate so your reader can imagine it.
• Passing time: Making time pass means ensuring you have a clear sense of the beginning, middle, and end of your story. To keep things clear, put your details in linear order and make sure to include temporal transitional phrases like “When I was six years old,” “Later, in high school,” and “Now, as I reflect back.”

3) Use your own voice

When you’re wondering how to start your college essay, it can be tempting to write in the same style you use for academic essays. But the college essay is a personal essay, not an essay for school. For this style of writing, you’ll want to be clear, thoughtful, and grammatically correct, but you’ll also want to be personable, engaging, and, most importantly, yourself. With that in mind, skip the SAT vocabulary words and opt for a more conversational tone instead.

How to Start a College Essay: More Resources

Looking to learn even more about how to start a college essay? If you’re ready to get started on your supplemental essays, check out our walk-through of the Why This College essay and explore our blog posts discussing the supplemental essay prompts for 50+ schools . You may also wish to read our piece on How to End a College Essay .

• College Essay

Christina Wood

Christina Wood holds a BA in Literature & Writing from UC San Diego, an MFA in Creative Writing from Washington University in St. Louis, and is currently a Doctoral Candidate in English at the University of Georgia, where she teaches creative writing and first-year composition courses. Christina has published fiction and nonfiction in numerous publications, including The Paris Review , McSweeney’s , Granta , Virginia Quarterly Review , The Sewanee Review , Mississippi Review , and Puerto del Sol , among others. Her story “The Astronaut” won the 2018 Shirley Jackson Award for short fiction and received a “Distinguished Stories” mention in the 2019 Best American Short Stories anthology.

• 2-Year Colleges
• Application Strategies
• Best Colleges by Major
• Best Colleges by State
• Big Picture
• Career & Personality Assessment
• College Search/Knowledge
• College Success
• Costs & Financial Aid
• Data Visualizations
• Dental School Admissions
• Extracurricular Activities
• Graduate School Admissions
• High School Success
• High Schools
• Homeschool Resources
• Law School Admissions
• Medical School Admissions
• Navigating the Admissions Process
• Online Learning
• Outdoor Adventure
• Private High School Spotlight
• Research Programs
• Summer Program Spotlight
• Summer Programs
• Teacher Tools
• Test Prep Provider Spotlight

“Innovative and invaluable…use this book as your college lifeline.”

— Lynn O'Shaughnessy

Nationally Recognized College Expert

College Planning in Your Inbox

Join our information-packed monthly newsletter.

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay

What’s covered:, developing your hook.

• 5 College Essay Hook Examples

5 Tips and Examples for Crafting a Great Hook

Your essay is one of the best tools available for standing out in a crowded field of college applicants (many with academic portfolios similar to yours) when applying to your dream school. A college essay is your opportunity to show admissions committees the person behind the grades, test scores, and resume. To ensure your college essay receives the full attention of admissions committees, you need to lure them in with a great hook—that is, a compelling opening that makes your audience hungry for more.

You need a strong start to capture the attention of the admission committees. When it comes to college essays, first impressions are everything. In fact, there’s no guarantee that anyone is going to read more than your first sentence if you bore them to tears within a few words, which is why it’s essential to craft an effective and engaging hook.

There’s no one-size-fits-all strategy for composing an attention-grabbing hook. A well-crafted hook can be anything from an image to an anecdote to an interesting fact while factors like writing style, essay structure, and prompt can all influence what makes for a good hook. That said, memorable hooks share a number of attributes, most notably they draw readers in,  connect with the topic you’re writing about, and leave a lasting impression, often in a creative or unexpected way.

For example, let’s construct a hypothetical essay. Let’s say that after some careful consideration, Jane Doe has decided to write her personal essay about her experience running canine obedience classes. She isn’t quite sure how to start her essay, so she’s practicing with some proven essay hooks. If you’re ready to develop your own hook, check out four of our favorite college essay hook strategies and how they work for Jane below!

College Essay Hook Examples

There are a number of proven strategies that Jane can use to craft a compelling hook. A few tried-and-true hooks include:

1. Open with an Anecdote

People love stories, so it makes sense that telling one is a great way to attract readers. Detailing a relevant anecdote provides context for your essay and can give the reader an idea of what you are up against if you’re overcoming an obstacle or rising to a challenge.

On the day that I told my mother I wanted to start my own canine obedience school, she smiled and muttered something under her breath about the irony of my youthful disobedience and my newfound passion for enforcing rules. What she didn’t know then was that it was not in spite of, but rather because of, my tendency to push the boundaries that I was confident in my ability to succeed.

2. Set the Scene

One fantastic way to get your essay moving and to draw your readers in is to plunge them into the middle of an important scene. Provide readers with descriptive details and dialogue to make them feel like they’re watching a movie from your life and have just tuned in at a critical moment.

I jumped back as the dog lunged for my leg, teeth bared and snarling. “It’s okay, Smokey, it’s okay,” I soothed as I tried to maneuver closer to the post where I had tied his leash. In the back of my head, I heard my brother’s taunts swirling around.

“A dog trainer?” he had scoffed. “What kind of person would hire you as a dog trainer?!”

I pushed the thoughts away and grasped the leash, pulling it tightly to my side as Smokey, surprised by my sudden confidence, fell into stride beside me.

3. Ask a Question

Asking a question at the beginning of your essay can activate your reader’s critical thinking and get them hungry for the answer that you won’t offer until later. Try to come up with a question that’s broad enough that they won’t know the answer right away, but specific enough that it isn’t a generic hook that could work on just any college essay.

How do you respond when you’re faced with a very real physical threat to your safety, yet you literally can’t afford to back down? This is the question I faced on my very first day as a dog trainer.

4. Use a Metaphor or Simile

A metaphor or simile can pull readers in by helping them make connections between seemingly unrelated topics or by encouraging them to think about topics from a different point of view.

Running canine obedience classes is a lot like navigating high school. It’s a dog-eat-dog world with a lot to learn, many personalities to manage, peril around every corner, and everyone anxious to graduate.

Selecting the right hook is a great first step for writing a winning college essay, but the execution is also important.

1. Narrow Down Your Scope

Sometimes the best way to tackle big projects like writing an attention-grabbing hook or captivating college essay is to think small. Narrow down on a specific incident or even a moment that leads into your topic.

It’s my first time teaching a canine obedience class. I’m surrounded by strangers and the dogs are barking so loud I can’t hear myself think, but I have a gnawing feeling that I’m losing control. I put my fingers to my lips and let out the loudest whistle I’m capable of. Suddenly there was silence.

2. Use Adjectives

Adjectives are used to add a description and make your writing clearer and more specific. In other words, they’re the details that make your writing stand out and suck readers in. Jane didn’t simply reward the dog for sitting, she…

It was a battle of wills between me and the eight-month-old Australian Shepherd—defiance was in his sparkling blue eyes, but so was desire for the bit of hot dog hiding in my hand. Reluctantly he sat, earning his treat while I claimed my alpha status.

3. Use Emotion

Use emotion to connect and entice your reader. Emotions make readers feel, pulling them into your essay, and are memorable. You can use them for everything from sharing a fact about yourself to putting the reader in your shoes.

When I was young, I would have been extremely lonely if not for my dog Trevor. I struggled to make friends and Trevor provided companionship, helped me overcome my shyness (he was a great icebreaker), and is responsible for shaping who I am today. When Trevor passed away in high school, I set out to train canine obedience and help dogs become the best versions of themselves—just like what Trevor did for me.

4. Short and Sweet

Admissions committees have a lot of essays to read, so the quicker you get to the point and capture their attention, the better.

Mere moments into my dream job, someone had already peed on the floor and another had bitten a person. Welcome to the life of a dog trainer.

5. Just Start Writing

Sometimes the hook of your college essay isn’t clear. Rather than getting hung up, start developing your essay and see if it adds clarity as to how to best implement a hook. Some students even find that it’s easiest to write a hook last, after writing the body of the personal statement.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay Hook

Wondering if you created an effective hook? It’s difficult to evaluate your own writing, especially a line or two you read and reworked numerous times. CollegeVine can help. Through our free Peer Essay Review tool , you can get a free review of your hook, and overall essay, from another student. Then you can pay it forward and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

The Admissions Strategist

How to start a college essay: 8 killer tips.

College admissions essays are a vital part of your application.

They give the admissions committee a more personal understanding of you, and they can tip an admissions decision in your favor.

As with any piece of writing, it’s important to consider your audience when writing a college essay.

• In this case, the audience is an admissions officer who will likely read hundreds of essays , all addressing similar prompts, during the admissions cycle.

He may have read dozens of essays in the last few hours. As he turns to your application, he wants to read a well-written, engaging essay.

• How can you make this person feel excited about reading your essay?
• How can you immediately set yourself apart from dozens or hundreds of other applicants?
• How can you make the admissions officer want to really pay attention and read closely?

1. Keep it brief .

On college essays, students are generally  limited to 500-700 words .

• That’s certainly not many words for such an important piece of writing, so it’s necessary for you to keep the essay introduction brief.

You need to get to the “meat” of the essay as quickly as possible.

• So while the college essay introduction is important, it shouldn’t take up the majority of your limited word count.

In the introduction, you do not need to summarize or preview everything that will be discussed in the essay.

• Instead, the college essay introduction should give a short, engaging glimpse into the rest of the piece.

When writing the first draft of your essay, it’s OK to go over the word count by 200-300 words.

• When cutting down the essay, start by refining the introduction. Since you likely started the essay by writing the introduction, there’s a good chance you included too much unnecessary background detail.
• When you reread the essay after a short break, you’ll realize how much of your introduction isn’t necessary.

As a benchmark, you don’t want the introduction to comprise more than 30% of the word count of the entire college essay.

Even then, we recommend keeping the introduction to around 20% of the essay.

2. Start with an attention grabber .

The very first sentence of your essay should be the  “hook” or “grabber.”  This sentence “hooks” readers or “grabs” their attention, making them want to read more.

This first sentence should provide rich details, engage a reader’s curiosity, or otherwise stand out from the rest.

Here are some sample grabbers from winning college essays:

I have old hands. (Stanford) If my life were a play, there would be two sets, two acts, and two sets of characters. (MIT) Some fathers might disapprove of their children handling noxious chemicals in the garage. (Stanford) There is a hefty blue book in my bookcase that is older than any other book in my house. (MIT) When I was in the eighth grade I couldn’t read. (Stanford) As an Indian-American, I am forever bound to the hyphen. (Stanford) I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks. (Stanford) I’ve been surfing Lake Michigan since I was 3 years old. (Stanford)

The first sentence can also be a question, but only if it’s particularly insightful or interesting, like this one:

While traveling through the daily path of life, have you ever stumbled upon a hidden pocket of the universe? (Stanford)

Don’t each of these sentences make you want to read more? That’s the impact of a well-written grabber.

Some of these sentences offer vivid details (the hefty blue book, the noxious chemicals, the old hands).

• Others engage our curiosity (How do you surf a lake? Is it true that a Stanford applicant couldn’t read in eighth grade? What is a hidden pocket of the universe?).

The rest simply stand out.

• For example, “I am forever bound to the hyphen,” is a thought-provoking and interesting statement. “I change my name each time I place an order at Starbucks,” is a unique way to begin a college essay.

Where is she going with this?

You may also notice that, for the most part, these sentences are short.

This isn’t a necessity, but a short, intriguing opening sentence can be especially powerful.

Find a similarly unique or thought-provoking first sentence.

From the first few words, the admissions officer will be fully engaged in reading your essay.

Get personalized advice!

3. vividly describe an anecdote related to your essay’s main point..

After the initial grabber (or sometimes as part of the initial grabber), it’s a good idea to include a vivid anecdote .

Like the grabber, a detailed anecdote can keep your reader engaged and wanting to know more.

It can also effectively introduce the experience or topic you’ll be discussing.

Here’s an excerpt from another winning college essay (written by Shaan Merchant for Tufts University):

“Biogeochemical. It’s a word, I promise!” There are shrieks and shouts in protest and support. Unacceptable insults are thrown, degrees and qualifications are questioned, I think even a piece of my grandmother’s famously flakey parantha whizzes past my ear. Everyone is too lazy to take out a dictionary (or even their phones) to look it up, so we just hash it out.

This highly detailed description of a family game of Bananagrams (a version of Scrabble) provides an excellent introduction to Merchant’s essay about his love of words.

Merchant could have started his essay with a dull sentence like, “I have loved words since I was a child.” Instead, he selected a colorful, entertaining anecdote that introduced this point far more creatively.

He also started with an intriguing grabber: “Biogeochemical.

• It’s a word, I promise!” Immediately, readers are pulled into the essay and wondering what inspired this opening piece of dialogue.

Brainstorm an anecdote that can introduce the main point of your essay (like a game of Bananagrams introduced Merchant’s love of words).

• If your essay is about an experience, you can open it by narrating a significant moment that was part of that experience.

To make the anecdote vivid, you should include specific details that paint a picture in the reader’s mind.

These images can describe any of the five senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, or touch.

• In our sample excerpt, for instance, Merchant mentions “shrieks and shouts” and “[his] grandmother’s famously flakey parantha” (flatbread). Later in his college admissions essay introduction, Merchant also references “small, glossy, plastic tiles” thrown into a pile.

In another winning college essay, a student vividly described the condition of his mother’s feet in relation to her hard work and sacrifice on his behalf.

The bottom line is this:

Come up with an anecdote that illustrates your essay’s point or the experience you’re describing.

Make sure you also include plenty of specific, descriptive adjectives. The admissions officer will be thankful for your refreshingly creative college essay introduction.

4. Connect the descriptive anecdote to the overall point of your essay.

A descriptive anecdote is creative, engaging, and a fun way to introduce the essay topic.

But it’s not very effective unless you explain how this anecdote is connected to the rest of the essay.

In this sentence, you can:

• Explain the importance of the experience or moment being described
• Explain how this moment is connected to a larger event or experience
• Explain what personal qualities or traits this anecdote illustrates
• Explain how the anecdote is connected to the overall point you will be making in the essay

In Merchant’s intro, he goes on to describe the game of Banagrams a bit more, including the fact that his dad won the game with “Rambo,” which Merchant contended was not a word.

After this entertaining and vivid description, Merchant writes, “Words and communicating have always been of tremendous importance in my life.”

With this brief sentence, Merchant explains what personal qualities are illustrated by his anecdote, as well as telling readers what the rest of the essay will be about.

After you write an anecdote, make sure you also provide 1-2 sentences explaining the significance of the anecdote and connecting it to the main topic of your essay.

In addition to making the essay topic clear to the reader, this type of sentence highlights excellent thinking skills.

5. Avoid stale, overused introductory techniques.

The goal here is to write a college essay introduction that is not like the other hundreds or even thousands of introductions the admissions officer has read.

This means it’s important to avoid boring, predictable introductory techniques.

• For example, you don’t want to say, “Many experiences have shaped my journey to college,” or, “The obstacles I’ve experienced have made me who I am.”
• These sentences are weak and vague, and they’re also likely written by many college applicants every year.

You also want to avoid the formulaic essay writing you may have learned in elementary or middle school.

• Do not write, “In this essay, I will tell you about…” or feel the need to list each of the main points you’ll cover.
• For example, it’s not necessary to write, “My volunteer work with blood drives, nursing homes, and mentoring programs has greatly influenced me.”

The college admissions essay should be more creative than a traditional essay written for English class.

For this reason, it’s better to ditch overused, formulaic introductions for something more unique.

6. Don’t try to use impressive vocabulary words.

In the sample introduction written by Shaan Merchant, he incorporated impressive words like “biogeochemical,” “parantha,” and later, “donnybrook.”

However, this complex word usage was intended to illustrate Merchant’s point about his lifelong love of words.

In most cases, however, it is best if you don’t try too hard to use multi-syllable vocabulary words intended to impress admissions officers.

• Usually, this will make the introduction sound unnatural. It won’t sound like  your authentic voice , which is what admissions officers want to read.

Additionally, most admissions officers can recognize when an applicant is being genuine vs. when an applicant is simply trying to impress.

• Worse, some applicants may try to use complicated vocabulary and end up using it incorrectly.

It’s great for you to include a few more advanced words, but you shouldn’t overdo it. Otherwise, the introduction will sound  stiff, forced, and unnatural .

The introduction should introduce not only the topic of the essay, but also your unique and authentic voice.

7. Write your college essay introduction last.

This may sound crazy, but it’s usually a good idea to write the introduction last.

First, construct the body of your essay.

• What are the main points you want to make?
• How have the experiences, people, or events described shaped or impacted your life?
• What do these experiences, events, or people tell admissions officers about you?

Once this information is complete, writing the perfect accompanying introduction is a simpler process.

• When you know exactly what you want to write in your essay, it’s easier to come up with a relevant anecdote.
• It’s also easier to generate a powerful, engaging grabber.

The introduction comes first in the essay, but that doesn’t mean you have to write it first.

If the introduction seems a little tricky, or if you get stuck with writer’s block, write the rest of the essay first.

Later, it’ll be far easier to come back to the introduction and think up a brilliant, relevant grabber and anecdote.

8. Proofread, proofread, proofread.

This is true of the college essay in general, but it’s especially important for the introduction.

The college essay introduction is the very first impression the college admissions officer will get of you.

Spelling and grammar mistakes  in the introduction are the equivalent of arriving late to a job interview wearing ripped jeans.

It’s not a good first impression. Even if what comes next is great, the negative first impression is hard to forget.

Make sure your introduction is completely free of errors in grammar, spelling, capitalization, punctuation, word usage, etc.

• Read over it multiple times, and have others check it multiple times as well.

Have a friend or relative with excellent grammar skills look over the essay, or ask your English teacher if he or she would take a look.

No matter how many times you and others have proofread the essay, check for errors one more time before sending it off.

Don’t ruin what could be a great essay with typos or mistakes in the very first paragraph.

Here are a few tips to ensure your college essay is mistake-free:

• Use Grammarly . This is a web extension that catches basic mistakes while you’re writing. Think of it as an upgraded spell check.
• Have a friend or teacher review the essay.
• Highlight the absolutely necessary sentences in your introduction. Which sentences create the meaning and essence of the introduction? Which sentences, once omitted, do not alter the meaning and effectiveness of the introduction?

Recap: How to Write a College Essay Introduction

An effective college essay introduction should “wow” admissions officers. It should be creative, intriguing, and unique.

Make sure you start with a strong “hook” or “grabber.” It’s a good idea to follow this first sentence with a vivid anecdote, which you will then connect to the overall topic of your essay. This is often easier to do if you go back and write the introduction last.

Avoid overused introductory techniques, spelling and grammar errors, and forced vocabulary.

If you follow these tips, the admissions officer will be interested in what you have to say from the very start.

Learn how we can help you with college and career guidance! Check out our YouTube channel!

Click Here to Schedule a Free Consult!

Stay on track and ease your anxiety with our second-to-none college application assistance.

• Ethics & Honesty
• Privacy Policy
• Join Our Team

(732) 339-3835

[email protected]

Search hundreds of strong sample essays for inspiration

Choose Your Test

• Search Blogs By Category
• College Admissions
• AP and IB Exams
• GPA and Coursework

Getting College Essay Help: Important Do's and Don’ts

College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Trending Now

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

ACT vs. SAT: Which Test Should You Take?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Get Your Free

Find Your Target SAT Score

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect SAT Score, by an Expert Full Scorer

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading and Writing

How to Improve Your Low SAT Score

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading and Writing

Find Your Target ACT Score

Complete Official Free ACT Practice Tests

How to Get a Perfect ACT Score, by a 36 Full Scorer

Get a 36 on ACT English

Get a 36 on ACT Math

Get a 36 on ACT Reading

Get a 36 on ACT Science

How to Improve Your Low ACT Score

Get a 24 on ACT English

Get a 24 on ACT Math

Get a 24 on ACT Reading

Get a 24 on ACT Science

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

• Home News Tribune
• Courier News
• Jersey Mayhem
• NJ Politics
• National Politics

What to avoid in college application essays | College Connection

An important part of the Common Application, which is accepted by more than 1,000 colleges, is the personal essay. Students are given six options as prompts, as well as a seventh option which is to share an essay on a topic of choice.  So, students can write about anything at all.

The essay is an integral part of the application, as it is typically viewed by all the schools to which a student applies.  It is the one section where students have the opportunity to share what is unique about them and what qualities they will bring to their future college community.

To make their essay stand out, students should avoid some common pitfalls.

Do not cheat. That means students should not turn to ChatGPT or to another person  to write their essay. This should go without saying but, sadly, it does need to be said. College admissions officers know what the “voice” of a teenager sounds like, and that’s exactly what they’re looking for.

More: Top colleges where 'B' students are accepted | College Connection

Do not write about mental health issues. Although many young people, as well as those in every age group, deal with such issues, it is important not to share that information. Due to privacy laws, colleges are not able to contact parents if students struggle with depression, substance abuse, or any other troubling behavior. Therefore, students should not raise a red flag, or they will most likely find their applications in the “rejected” pile.

Do not be redundant. One’s personal essay is not the place to itemize the extracurricular, volunteer, and work experiences that are all included in the Activities section of the Common App. If there is one activity that dominated a student’s high school experience and is particularly compelling, it can be the topic of the essay. But students must elaborate on how they were profoundly impacted by their engagement. 

More: How where you live affects your college admissions chances | College Connection

Do not recycle successful essays that were submitted by prior applicants. Often, students turn to the multitude of articles showcasing essays written by students who were admitted to Ivy League and other elite institutions. What worked for a prior student will not be effective for another as it’s not their story. It’s vital for students to share their genuine story using their authentic voice.   The key to writing a thoughtful, introspective essay is to start early, carefully consider the story you want to share, and then do so in your very own style.

Susan Alaimo is the founder & director of Collegebound Review, offering PSAT/SAT ® preparation & private college advising by Ivy League educated instructors. Visit CollegeboundReview.com or call 908-369-5362 .

5 Books About The College Application Process To Read This Summer

• Share to Facebook
• Share to Twitter
• Share to Linkedin

Cornell University

In the increasingly competitive landscape of top college admissions, strategy and preparation are critical for crafting a standout application. The process of planning high school coursework, selecting extracurriculars, writing essays, and navigating financial aid can be overwhelming and stressful — even taking a toll on the relationship between students and their parents. However, with the right resources, families can recover the joy and excitement that comes with entering this new phase of a student’s journey.

Whether preparing to start freshman or senior year of high school in the fall, summer is an optimal time for students and their families to educate themselves about the college admissions process. If you’re lounging poolside or passing time on a flight, bring along the following books for engaging and instructive perspectives on the college admissions process:

1. The Truth about College Admission: A Family Guide to Getting In and Staying Together by Brennan Barnard and Rick Clark

In The Truth about College Admission , Brennan Barnard, a college counselor, and Rick Clark, then the director of undergraduate admissions at Georgia Tech, provide a refreshing and honest look at the college application process. The book emphasizes maintaining family harmony and reducing stress while navigating the complexities of college admissions. With a focus on fostering open communication and realistic expectations, Barnard and Clark offer invaluable insights for both students and their families. For those who are hungry for more information, the authors also host a podcast with the same name, bringing together expert guests to share their insights on the college admissions process.

2. The Exceptional Applicant: For College Admission, You Don't Have to Be Perfect, You Just Have to Be Original by Deborah Bedor

Apple iphone 16 pro: new leak reveals powerful design upgrade incoming, report says, leak reveals a ‘big’ fed earthquake could suddenly smash the price of bitcoin, ethereum, xrp and crypto, today’s nyt mini crossword clues and answers for friday, july 26.

Deborah Bedor’s The Exceptional Applicant is a strategic guide aimed at high-achieving students aspiring to join the ranks at Ivy League and other top universities. A seasoned college admissions consultant, Bedor offers targeted insights to help students in every stage of the process develop an admissions strategy and craft an original and compelling profile. The book covers everything from selecting extracurricular activities to writing compelling essays and preparing for interviews. Bedor's insights are particularly valuable for students seeking to articulate their unique voice and perspective in an increasingly competitive admissions landscape.

3. Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions by Jeffrey Selingo

In Who Gets In and Why , journalist Jeffrey Selingo takes readers behind the college admissions curtain at Emory University, Davidson College, and the University of Washington to reveal insights into the secrets and nuances of the admissions process. Through meticulous reporting and interviews with admissions officers, Selingo reveals the strategies and decisions that admissions committees use to shape each incoming class. The book provides a nuanced understanding of what colleges are looking for in applicants and offers practical advice for students aiming to stand out. Selingo’s articulation of admissions officers’ processes makes this book an eye-opening read for students and parents embarking on the college admissions process.

4. On Writing the College Application Essay: The Key to Acceptance at the College of Your Choice by Harry Bauld

Harry Bauld’s On Writing the College Application Essay is a classic guide that has helped countless students craft essays that stand out in the decades since its original publication in 1987. A former admissions officer at Brown and Columbia, Bauld provides an insider’s perspective on what makes an essay memorable. The book offers practical tips on brainstorming, writing, and revising essays, as well as avoiding common pitfalls. Bauld’s lighthearted and engaging style makes this a must-read for any student facing the daunting task of writing their college application essays this summer.

5. Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania by Frank Bruni

For families seeking an alternative to the frenzied culture of college admissions preparation, New York Times columnist Frank Bruni offers a more nuanced approach to the process, challenging the conventional wisdom that people’s future success is determined by the prestige of the colleges they attend. In Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be , Bruni argues that the obsession with elite institutions is misplaced and that students can achieve success and fulfillment at a wide range of schools. A Times review of Bruni’s book states : “He doesn’t deny the networking value of attending a prestigious college — especially for those with the dubious dream of working on Wall Street — but he knows that this value is overstated, that the exhilaration of winning the prize is often a prelude to exhaustion, and that on every elite college campus the mental-health services are overstretched.” Bruni’s thought-provoking book provides a much-needed perspective to free students and parents caught up in the “mania” of college admissions—or to save them from getting caught up in it in the first place.

• Editorial Standards
• Reprints & Permissions

Advertisement

Supported by

From Honor Student to the Gunman Who Tried to Kill Donald Trump

Thomas Crooks was a brainy and quiet young man who built computers and won honors at school, impressing his teachers. Then he became a would-be assassin.

• Share full article

By Emily Cochrane Steve Eder William K. Rashbaum Amy Julia Harris Jack Healy and Glenn Thrush

The reporters conducted about 60 interviews with classmates, teachers, neighbors and officials in Bethel Park, Pa., and reviewed law enforcement bulletins and extensive school records for this article.

For Thomas Crooks, the suburban Pittsburgh nursing home where he served meals and washed dishes for $16 an hour was another solitary corner of a nearly invisible life. He was polite but distant, a former co-worker said, ate lunch alone in the break room and rarely spoke with anyone.

But as western Pennsylvania geared up last week for the boisterous spectacle of hosting a rally for former President Donald J. Trump, Mr. Crooks approached his bosses with a request, law enforcement officials said: He wanted to take Saturday off.

He told them he had something important to do.

It was one of the few hints to emerge so far that the 20-year-old engineering sciences graduate was planning to become a political assassin. A week after Mr. Crooks opened fire at the rally and was killed by the Secret Service, his ideology and motives remain a vexing question for investigators and the people who crossed paths with him.

In dozens of interviews, former classmates, teachers and neighbors said they still could not square their memories of Mr. Crooks — an awkward, intelligent teenager who liked to tinker with computers and spent his weekends playing video games — with the image of the stringy-haired gunman at the rally, armed with his father’s AR-15-style rifle as he clambered onto a rooftop and took aim at the former president. Mr. Trump suffered an injury to his ear, and three spectators were wounded, one of them fatally.

“That’s where I’m struggling — I’ve looked at horrific pictures of an individual that I stood six inches away from, shaking his hand, calling on him in class,” said Xavier Harmon, who saw Mr. Crooks almost daily in the computer technology class he taught at a technical school.

We are having trouble retrieving the article content.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and  log into  your Times account, or  subscribe  for all of The Times.

Thank you for your patience while we verify access.

Already a subscriber?  Log in .

Want all of The Times?  Subscribe .

• SI SWIMSUIT
• SI SPORTSBOOK
• PRIME'S ISLAND

Former NFL MVP rebuts ESPN host: "Colorado ain't a big deal? That's a MF'ing lie"

Kenny lee | jul 25, 2024.

• Colorado Buffaloes

Deion Sanders has recently been the topic of conversation with ESPN hosts who've speculated his about his future. While he's no stranger to taking heat, the Colorado Buffaloes coach is hearing both sides of an argument from the same person as he prepares for the 2024 football season.

During a live hit from SEC Media Days, Paul Finebaum confidently asserted that the Buffaloes will never compete for the College Football Playoff and claimed that Sanders lacks the patience to develop them into contenders. He labeled the team as “irrelevant in the big picture” of major college football and accused them of having a “ridiculously inflated view of themselves.” Finebaum didn't hold back, even mocking Shedeur Sanders' claim that the team is seen as everyone's "Super Bowl," dismissing Shedeur's accomplishments as negligible.

Cam Newton added his thoughts to the conversation, defending Coach Prime and the Buffs with a clear observation of Finebaum's comments. The former NFL MVP questioned the credibility of the longtime host on his 4th & 1 Podcast and wonders what will happen when he's proven wrong?

"You can't detach the two. (Sanders) is connected to Colorado as long as he's at Colorado," Newton said. "To say that Colorado ain't a big deal, that's a MF'ing lie. You can't name me another more relevant program than Colorado right now."

Finebaum seemed to back away from his original comments, and four days later claimed Sanders would be a perfect fit at USC. While Lincoln Riley isn't on the hot seat, the idea of Coach Prime going to Hollywood is a marketing dream for some.

Op-Ed: Is Deion Sanders' media exposure bonus actually a slap in the face?

"He's going to be tired of Colorado, because quite frankly, it's not 'Prime Time'," Finebaum noted. "He's done well... As well as he can with his son, Travis Hunter, and all the Stephen A and Shannon Sharpe appearances. But that's going to dry up this year because they're not going to be that great. But you put Prime in Tinseltown and I think you have one of the great combinations in history."

The two-way commentary was joined by Stephen A. Smith's take about Prime in Boulder. "(Sanders) in Tinseltown, yes, that works," Smith said on First Take . "I don't like him in Boulder. I've told him that."

As the Buffaloes prepare for their second season under Sanders, starting August 29 against FCS powerhouse North Dakota State, they hope to continue benefiting from the attention and growth sparked by the movement at Colorado. One thing is clear, the national analysts are starting to place Sanders outside of Boulder in 2025.

Nursing aide turned sniper: Thomas Crooks' mysterious plot to kill Trump

BUTLER, Pa. – Donald Trump and would-be assassin Thomas Crooks started on their violent collision course long before the former president's political rally ended in gunshots and death.

Crooks, 20, was a one-time registered Republican, a nursing home worker with no criminal record, shy in school, and living in a decent middle-class neighborhood in suburban Pennsylvania with his parents. Trump, 78, was eyeing Crooks' state as a key battleground – but not in the way that anyone envisioned on Saturday.

Riding high on polls showing that he's got a strong chance of toppling President Joe Biden, the former president had been campaigning for reelection in swing states, and Pennsylvania is a key prize. Trump won the state in 2016 but lost it four years later.

And on July 3, Trump's campaign announced he would hold a rally at the Butler Farm Show grounds, about 30 miles north of Pittsburgh.

"Pennsylvania has been ravaged by monumental surges in violent crime as a direct result of Biden’s and Democrats’ pro-criminal policies," Trump's campaign said in announcing the event, noting that when he's elected, he'll "re-establish law and order in Pennsylvania!"

The Saturday attack on Trump turned the heated rhetoric of the 2024 presidential campaign freshly violent. Authorities said bullets fired from Crooks' AR-15 style rifle about 150 yards away grazed Trump's ear, killed a rally attendee as he dove to protect his family, and critically wounded two others. Secret Service agents killed Crooks moments later.

Attack planned well in advance

Investigators are still seeking Crooks' motive – despite his Republican leanings, he had donated recently to a progressive voter-turnout campaign in 2021 – but indicated he'd planned the attack well in advance.

The shooting marks the first assassination attempt against a former or current U.S. president since President Ronald Reagan was injured in a March 1981 shooting at a Washington, D.C., hotel. 

There are many questions about why Crooks turned into a would-be presidential assassin, firing indiscriminately into hordes of political supporters.

FBI special agent Kevin Rojek said on a call with media that law enforcement located "a suspicious device" when they searched Crooks' vehicle and that it's being analyzed at the FBI crime lab.

"As far as the actions of the shooter immediately prior to the event and any interaction that he may have had with law enforcement, we're still trying to flesh out those details now," Rojek said.

None of Crooks' shocked neighbors or high school classmates described him as violent or that he in any way signaled he was intent on harming Trump. Sunday morning, reporters and curious locals swarmed the leafy streets of the home where Crooks lived with his parents in Bethel Park, about 50 miles from the shooting scene.

Those who knew him described a quiet young man who often walked to work at a nearby nursing home. One classmate said he was bullied and often ate alone in high school.

Sunday morning, neighbor Cathy Caplan, 45, extended her morning walk about a quarter mile to glimpse what was happening outside Crooks’ home.“It came on the morning news and I was like ‘I know that street,’” said Caplan, who works for the local school district. "It feels like something out of a movie.”

Dietary aide turned deadly killer

Authorities say they are examining Crooks' phone, social media and online activity for motivation. They said he carried no identification and his body had to be identified via DNA and biometric confirmation.

Although no possible motive has yet been released, Crooks nevertheless embodies the achingly familiar profile of an American mass shooter: a young white man, isolated from peers and armed with a high-powered rifle. His attack was one of at least 59 shootings in the United States on Saturday, according to the Gun Violence Archive.

According to records and online posts of the ceremony, Crooks graduated from Bethel Park High School, about 42 miles from Butler County, on June 3, 2022. That same day, Trump met briefly with investigators at his Mar-a-Lago club in Florida as they examined whether he improperly took classified documents with him when he left the White House.

A classmate remembered Crooks as a frequent target of bullies. Kids picked on him for wearing camouflage to class and his quiet demeanor, Jason Kohler, 21, said. Crooks usually ate lunch alone, Kohler said.

Crooks worked as a dietary aide at the Bethel Park Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation, less than a mile from his home. In a statement provided to USA TODAY on Sunday, Marcie Grimm, the facility's administrator, said she was "shocked and saddened to learn of his involvement."

Neighbor Dean Sierka, 52, has known Crooks and his parents for years. The families live a few doors apart on a winding suburban street, and Sierka’s daughter, who attended elementary, middle and high school with Crooks, remembers him as quiet and shy. Sierka said they saw Crooks at least once a week, often when he was walking to the nursing home from his parents' three-bedroom brick house.

"You wouldn’t have expected this," Sierka said. "The parents and the family are all really nice people."

"It's crazy," he added.

Secret Service role: Did they do enough?

Founded in 1865, the Secret Service is supposed to stop this kind of attack, and dozens of agents were present Saturday. As the former president and presumptive Republican presidential nominee, Trump's public appearances are managed by the Secret Service, which works with local law enforcement to develop security plans and crowd-management protocols.

In the days before the event, the agency's experts would have scouted the location, identified security vulnerabilities, and designed a perimeter to keep Trump and rally attendees safe. Congress and the Secret Service are now investigating how Crooks was able to get so close to the former president, and several witnesses reported seeing him in the area with the gun before Trump took the stage.

As the event doors opened at 1 p.m., the temperature was already pushing close to 90, and ticketed attendees oozed through metal detectors run by members of the Secret Service's uniformed division. Similar to airport security screenings, rallygoers emptied their pockets to prove they weren't carrying guns or other weapons.

Media reports indicate the Secret Service had in place, as usual, a counter-sniper team scanning the surrounding area for threats.

In an exclusive interview, former Secret Service Director Julia Pierson told USA TODAY that maintaining such a sniper security perimeter is part of the agency's responsibility for safeguarding protectees like Trump from harm. She said agents typically consider 1,000 yards to be the minimum safe distance for sniper attacks.

The Secret Service has confirmed that it is investigating how Crooks got so close to Trump, who took the stage shortly after 6 p.m. Officials say Crooks' rifle was legally obtained but have not yet released specifics.

Outside the venue at that time, Greg Smith says he tried desperately to get the attention of police. He told the BBC that he and his friends saw a man crawling along a roof overlooking the rally. Other witnesses said they also saw a man atop the American Glass Research building outside the official event security perimeter, well within the range of a 5.56 rifle bullet.

"We noticed the guy bear-crawling up the roof of the building beside us, 50 feet away from us," Smith told the BBC. "He had a rifle, we could clearly see him with a rifle."

Smith told the BBC that the Secret Service eventually saw him and his friends pointing at the man on the roof.

"I'm thinking to myself, why is Trump still speaking, why have they not pulled him off the stage?" Smith said. "Next thing you know, five shots rang out."

From his nearby deck, Trump supporter Pat English watched as the former president took the stage to Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A.," and attendees raised their cell phones to record.

English had taken his grandson to see the rally earlier but left when it got too hot. From his deck, they listened as Trump began speaking at 6:05 p.m., backed by a crown of red-hatted MAGA supporters waving "fire Joe Biden" signs.

And then gunfire began.

Boom, boom, boom

"I heard a 'boom, boom, boom' and then screams,” English said Sunday. "I could see people running and the police run in."

Trump was saying the word "happened" as the first pop rang out. He reached up to grab his ear as two more shots echoed, and the crowd behind him – and Trump himself – ducked. Plainclothes Secret Service agents piled atop the president as a fusillade of shots rang out, apparently the Secret Service killing Crooks.

The crowd screamed, and the venue's sound system picked up the agents atop Trump planning to move the former president to safety. One yelled, "shooter's down. Let's move, let's move."

The agents then helped Trump back to his feet as they shielded him on all sides.

The sound system then picked up Trump's voice: "Wait, wait," he said, before turning to the audience and triumphantly raising his fist to yell "fight, fight" as the crowd cheered, blood streaming down his face.

By 6:14 p.m. Trump's motorcade was racing from the scene, and in a later statement, Trump's campaign said he was checked out at a local medical facility.

"I was shot with a bullet that pierced the upper part of my right ear," Trump said in a statement. "I knew immediately that something was wrong in that I heard a whizzing sound, shots, and immediately felt the bullet ripping through the skin. Much bleeding took place, so I realized then what was happening."

Firefighter 'hero' gunned down

Outside of the Butler Township Administration Office Sunday afternoon, Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro identified the rally attendee killed by Crooks as Corey Comperatore, a firefighter, father of two and longtime Trump supporter.

“Corey died a hero,” Shapiro said. “Corey dove on his family to protect them last night at this rally. Corey was the very best of us. May his memory be a blessing.”

Two other Pennsylvanians are still undergoing treatment for their injuries, Shapiro said.

Pennsylvania State Police identified two wounded attendees David Dutch, 57, of New Kensington, and James Copenhaver, 74, of Moon Township. Both are hospitalized and listed in stable condition. Shapiro said he spoke with the family of one victim and received a message from the other.

Biden spoke briefly with Trump on Saturday night, and the president condemned the assassination attempt as “sick.” He said there’s no place for political violence in the U.S. and called on Americans to unite together to condemn it.

But earlier in the week, Biden told campaign donors in a private phone call it was time to stop talking about his own disastrous presidential debate performance and start targeting Trump instead.

"I have one job and that's to beat Donald Trump," Biden said. "We're done talking about the (June 27) debate. It's time to put Trump in the bullseye."

Republicans across the country have used similar language to attack their opponents over the years, and political scientists say violent rhetoric used worldwide almost invariably leads to physical violence.

On Sunday, someone parked a truck-mounted electronic billboard at the gates to the Butler Farm Show grounds reading "Democrats attempted assassination," along with a picture of Trump clutching an American flag, his face overlaid with a bullseye crosshairs.

Authorities say they have not yet determined a motive for Crooks' attack. But in a statement, Trump declared the shooting an act of evil and thanked God for preventing the unthinkable.

"We will fear not, but instead remain resilient in our faith and defiant in the face of wickedness," Trump said.

And he said he'd be back on the campaign trail for the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, which starts Monday.

"Based on yesterday’s terrible events, I was going to delay my trip to Wisconsin, and the Republican National Convention, by two days," Trump said on his Truth Social account Sunday, "but have just decided that I cannot allow a 'shooter,' or potential assassin, to force change to scheduling, or anything else."

Contributing: David Jackson, Aysha Bagchi, Christopher Cann, Bryce Buyakie, Emily Le Coz, Josh Meyer, USA TODAY Network

How the assassination attempt unfolded : Graphics, maps, audio analysis show what happened

What we know about the global Microsoft outage

A routine software update caused cascading chaos Friday that has engulfed global businesses from airports and banks to retail and law enforcement.

It wasn’t a cyberattack, but was caused by one of the world’s largest cybersecurity companies deploying a flawed update while trying to keep their customers safe from hackers.

CrowdStrike, a cybersecurity company based in Austin, Texas, that’s widely used by businesses and government agencies that run on Microsoft computers, said that a defect in one of its updates for computers running the Windows operating system had caused the issue. The result was arguably the largest global information technology outage in history. 

Here’s what we know:

What has been affected?

The outage appeared to affect almost every major business sector in one way or another.

Airports and flights across the world were severely delayed or canceled altogether, as the computers on which these services rely were disrupted by the issue. Three of the largest airlines in the United States — American Airlines, Delta Air Lines and United Airlines — all issued ground stops, citing communications problems.

Long lines snaked through airports from Berlin to Hong Kong, as electronic systems failed and staff members resorted to checking in passengers manually. One flier in the Indian city of Hyderabad posted a picture of a curiosity usually unseen in the modern digital age: a handwritten boarding pass.

Follow live updates on the global tech outage

The issue also affected banks, leaving some customers unable to access their money. People across Australia, New Zealand and elsewhere reported problems logging into their accounts at major retail banks. Meanwhile the London Stock Exchange, the largest of its kind in Europe, said some of its services had been disrupted although trading had not been impeded.

In retail, McDonald’s closed some of its stores in Japan because of what it said in an online statement was a “cash register malfunction.” And the British grocery chain Waitrose was forced to put up handwritten notes informing customers that it was only accepting cash. Some Starbucks locations temporarily closed after the company's mobile ordering system went down, while other locations stayed open and left their baristas scrambling to come up with new workflows.

Baltic Hub, a global shipping terminal in Poland, said in a statement it had been battling issues related to the outage. The Alaska State Troopers agency was among the law enforcement agencies to report issues, warning people that 911 was temporarily not working. And the British broadcaster Sky News, which is owned by NBCUniversal's parent company, Comcast, was briefly knocked off the air.

Some computers that were not on during the software update appear to have avoided the issue, according to initial reports.

What caused it?

Cybersecurity programs like CrowdStrike’s frequently and automatically update themselves to account for new tactics that malicious hackers have discovered. And there’s always a slight risk that any software update will be incompatible with other programs.

CrowdStrike’s update should have been routine, but an error in its code conflicted with Windows and proved catastrophic.

The company’s CEO, George Kurtz , said Friday morning on the "TODAY" show that while some customers would see their computers fixed automatically, others would require manual work to fix.

“The system was sent an update, and that update had a software bug in it and caused an issue with the Microsoft operating system,” Kurtz said. “Our systems are always looking for the latest attacks from these adversaries that are out there.”

How long until things go back to normal?

CrowdStrike identified the problem and issued a fix early Friday after the problem began to emerge. On Friday afternoon, Kurtz released a statement apologizing for the outage, adding that CrowdStrike was “operating normally.”

The fix required affected computers to download another software update, which some have been able to do automatically.

Many companies and services affected by the chaos, such as the New Hampshire Department of Safety, which said its 911 system was briefly down, reported that they were back online by Friday morning. 

Others haven’t been able to load the update, which would potentially require IT workers at some companies to reboot and tinker with every single affected computer.

“Many of the customers are rebooting the system, and it’s coming up, and it’ll be operational because we fixed it on our end,” Kurtz said. “Some of the systems that aren’t recovering, we’re working with them. So it could be some time for some systems that just automatically won’t recover.”

Alexander Smith is a senior reporter for NBC News Digital based in London.

Kevin Collier is a reporter covering cybersecurity, privacy and technology policy for NBC News.