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The power of listening.
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OD & Change Management Consultant ( Human Capital Innovations ); Professor, Woodbury School of Business (UVU), Social Impact & Innovation Guru
"No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.” - Jewish Proverb
Still Waters Run Deep
Years ago, as a young college student trying to learn the ropes and figure out my path in life, I found myself in the office of an older, very sage professor, seeking advice. I was contemplating switching majors (again!), but the university didn’t then offer the specific program I was seeking.
This professor, who became a dear mentor to me, sat there and patiently listened as I expressed my scattered, naïve, probably incoherent thoughts. Instead of offering any specific advice, he simply listened intently, only speaking at times to restate something I had said in order to confirm understanding or to ask a thought-provoking question. As I left that brief meeting, I was amazed by the clarity I had regarding my conundrum and how to move forward. My questions and concerns had been heard, I felt understood, I felt genuine compassion and caring, and I felt empowered to make my decision.
Upon further reflection, I realized that I experienced firsthand the power of listening.
Impactful Active Listening
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A recent article by Elle Kaplan defined effective listening as “giving your complete, intentional focus to what someone says, rather than what their words literally mean.” Effective listening requires active listening , which the University of the People defines as “a soft skill that directs the focus from what’s in your head to the words coming from the outside. By being able to focus on what another person is saying, you can understand needs and information more accurately.”
In other words, listening is more than just hearing the words someone is saying, but rather impactful active listening is all about understanding the context in which those words are shared, along with other verbal and nonverbal cues, such as voice inflection, tone, facial expressions and body language. When we actively listen, we practice mindfulness, we are present with those around us and we do not allow distractions to take away our focus on the most impart thing in that moment: seeking understanding, showing compassion and demonstrating empathy.
The Organizational And Individual Benefits
A tremendous amount of research has demonstrated the impact and power of listening. Effective active listening within an organizational setting has been shown to produce a wide range of positive benefits for companies, leaders and individuals, such as: (1) building stronger relationships, (2) developing greater trust, (3) more effective team collaborations, (4) enhanced individual and group decision-making, (5) greater productivity and (6) enhanced creativity and innovation.
While the business case for intentional, mindful and compassionate active listening is irrefutable, we should also not forget the many human benefits of helping individuals feel safe being their authentic self as they feel heard, validated, understood and valued.
Listening And Servant Leadership
In a previous article , I shared the importance of fostering a servant leadership approach to interact with and lead others. One of the foundational elements of servant leadership theory and practice is authentic listening.
In her article, “ Listen to Serve: Servant Leadership and the Practice of Effective Listening ,” Jessica Zisa examines the importance of listening in servant leadership and states. “Servant leadership reminds us of the importance of listening, and the practice of mindfulness. Listening allows us to look within ourselves and become aware of the barriers that inhibit our ability to listen effectively.” As we better understand ourselves, we are then in a better position to understand others and show authentic compassion and empathy.
Additionally, we need to listen carefully to perceive others’ needs, wants and desires, and thereby have the information needed to better serve and lift those we lead. As Zisa states, we need to create “a space where individual voices can grow and be heard, and where fear-based leadership is overcome” and “tune in to one another and share communication in a space of reciprocity.”
Listening With Intent And Compassion
In his international bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People , Stephen Covey outlined seven key principles that drive personal and organizational success, including habit number six, “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.” As part of this habit, in discussing the importance of listening with intent to understand, Covey states, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” If we fall into the all-too-common trap of tuning out while we formulate our own response, we will never fully “be” with the person sitting in front of us and we will have little chance of fully understanding them and helping them feel heard and valued. We will not have the information we need to effectively lead those in our teams and help them maximize their potential.
Furthermore, Tich Nhat Hanh, Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, stated , “Deep listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to empty his heart.” Compassionate, empathic, other-centered listening engenders authenticity and trust and will help leaders develop the meaningful and productive relationships in the workplace.
As we lead in organizations, we need to cultivate our self-understanding and our understanding of others through active and compassionate listening. As we adopt a servant leadership mentality and seek first to understand those we lead, we will develop trust and stronger workplace relationships, which will lead to increased collaborative capacity and greater innovation and productivity. We need to learn to leverage the power of effective active listening to better help our people to feel heard and valued.
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The Power of Listening in Helping People Change
- Guy Itzchakov
- Avraham N. (Avi) Kluger
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Don’t just give feedback.
Feedback is one of the most common ways we help others learn and develop. But it can backfire when people become defensive. Researchers explored whether a more subtle intervention — asking questions and listening — could be more effective. Whereas feedback is about telling employees that they need to change, listening to employees and asking them questions might make them want to change. The research findings suggest that attentive and non-judgmental listening seems to make an employee more relaxed, more self-aware of his or her strengths and weaknesses, and more willing to reflect in a non-defensive manner. This can make employees more likely to cooperate (versus compete) with other colleagues, as they become more interested in sharing their attitudes, but not necessarily in trying to persuade others to adopt them, and more open to considering other points of view. The researchers explain the main barriers to high-quality listening and offer tips to help anyone become a better listener.
Giving performance feedback is one of the most common ways managers help their subordinates learn and improve. Yet, research revealed that feedback could actually hurt performance: More than 20 years ago, one of us (Kluger) analyzed 607 experiments on feedback effectiveness and found that feedback caused performance to decline in 38% of cases. This happened with both positive and negative feedback, mostly when the feedback threatened how people saw themselves.
- GI Guy Itzchakov is a lecturer at the Faculty of Business Administration at Ono Academic College. He received his Ph.D. from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem in 2017. Guy’s research draws on Carl Rogers’s theory and focuses on how attentive and non-judgmental listening facilitates a chance in the speakers’ emotions and cognitions. His research has appeared in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin , European Journal of Work and Organizational Psychology , and Journal of Experimental Social Psychology . Guy can be reached at [email protected] .
- AK Avraham N. (Avi) Kluger is a professor of organizational behavior at the School of Business at Hebrew University of Jerusalem. He has studied the destructive effects of performance feedback for over 20 years. In his ongoing meta-analyses of listening, he has found that good listeners are good performers and are perceived as good leaders. For more on his research, vsit his website: http://avikluger.wixsite.com/avi-kluger .
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The Power and Impact of Good Listening
Active listening impacts speakers and listeners in mutually beneficial ways..
Posted April 28, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
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- Listening is an acquired skill that requires focus, patience, and daily practice.
- Good listening skills can be more valuable, effective, and productive than good communication skills.
- Good listeners provide a safe space for speakers to fully share their message without judgment or critique.
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“Listening is not the act of hearing the words spoken; it is the art of understanding the meaning behind those words.” –Simon Sinek
Speaking is a critical life skill that we’re taught from birth. In fact, effective speaking and communication skills are so highly valued in our society that there are thousands of courses on the topic as well as myriad opportunities to earn degrees in communications, all the way up to a Ph.D., with a focus on critical thinking, public speaking , media, and writing skills to prepare students for careers in influential industries such as journalism, law, public relations, speechwriting, and all forms of administration (Bouchrika, 2024; Hamilton, 2023).
But what about the skill of listening? Where and when is that taught? The unfortunate answer is that listening, although arguably even more critical to effective and productive interpersonal, organizational, political, and global communication, is rarely taught. Absent possibly a few therapy -related graduate courses, you’ll be hard-pressed to find courses on the topic of listening, nor is it a skill that most parents or educators encourage children to practice as they’re learning to navigate the nuances of communication and relationships. Yet, how can we expect to think critically and make the best-informed decisions if we don't really know how to listen?
Listening Is Not the Same as Hearing
While listening is often viewed as something that just naturally occurs through the simple act of hearing spoken words, in reality there is nothing simple about good listening. It’s an acquired skill that requires daily practice and discipline, although well worth the time and effort because good listening helps us effectively examine, accept, or challenge the information we hear, thereby improving our decision-making . Equally important, active listening helps us better understand other positions, provides a path to finding common ground; builds trust, rapport, and connections in our communication with others; and increases our chance of being heard ourselves (Ury, 2015).
What Constitutes Good Listening?
Listening is a fluid process that involves five stages: receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding (DeVito, 2000). Within all of these stages, there are internal and external factors that can either interfere with or enhance good listening. The key is to engage in practices that reduce or eliminate disruptive factors and actively seek out situations and practice skills that advance good listening.
- Receiving. This first stage is the literal “hearing” part of listening, when your ears do their job and isolate incoming audible information without the interference of competing sounds. However, with the multitude of distractions almost constantly intruding into our awareness, this is easier said than done. As William Ury, expert negotiator and co-founder of the Harvard Program on Negotiation, points out, “We live in an age that we call the Age of Communication, but how much listening can there really be with so much interruption and distraction?” (2015). Good listeners focus on what a speaker is saying and ignore distractions. If the listening environment contains too many distractions or has loud competing sounds, it’s best to relocate to a quieter location, or postpone important conversations to another time.
- Understanding. Here is where our brains get involved as we attempt to process the meaning of the sounds we’re receiving. At this stage, good listeners zero in on what the speaker is generally trying to say and seek clarification or ask the speaker to repeat anything they can’t understand. Understanding can be negatively affected when a speaker is speaking too fast, providing great detail, or has an accent that makes it difficult for the listener to understand what is being said. This is not the time for a good listener to comment on the content of what is being said; the focus here should be on understanding.
- Remembering. This is when our brains process the information we’re hearing well enough to recall it for as long as we need to work with it. There are a multitude of factors that can interfere with memory , but for active listeners, the most common interferences are distractions, intermittent loss of focus, the amount of information being shared, and the complexity of the information being shared. To reduce these risks, good listeners must be keenly focused on the speaker’s verbal and nonverbal communications and actively stay engaged in the process of listening.
- Evaluating. This is the most dangerous stage for all listeners, even the most skilled ones, because it's the stage where there's the highest risk of consciously or unconsciously assigning some sort of value or weight to the information being shared. This often takes the form of a positive or negative “judgment” that we make, utilizing life experiences that are personal to us, and therefore often biased. These judgments can be based on a wide range of variables, such as the “type” of person delivering the message or the content of the message. For example, factors such as gender , race, culture, or political party may influence our judgment of a message. Content that doesn’t align with our values or beliefs can do the same. While we all have opinions and biases, good listeners are self-aware enough to recognize their biases and purposefully move past them to give speakers a safe space to express themselves. Rather than judge what they're hearing, good listeners try to understand and empathize with the meaning behind the words and encourage speakers to share everything they’re feeling using neutral prompts, such as “go on” or “tell me more.” As Simon Sinek (2021) explains, when we replace judgment with curiosity or genuine interest, we create a safe space for someone to "empty their bucket," which then makes it more likely they'll be interested in hearing what you have to say.
- Responding. The final stage of listening is responding, verbally and nonverbally, to shared information with respect, even if in the end, we disagree with what the speaker is saying or how they’re handling a situation. Good listening doesn’t mean that you should abandon your personal views or not be honest in your communications with others. It means that while you’re actively listening, you create an environment in which the speaker feels heard, understood, and respected, so that when you do respond, your own message is more likely to be received in the same way.
Good listening also encompasses behaviors that throughout these stages of listening convey interest and attention , such as eye contact, head-nodding, leaning toward the speaker, and encouraging facial expressions. However, good listeners aren't necessarily passive absorbers of information; some research suggests that the best listeners engage in the process by asking clarifying questions, restating what they've heard to make sure they're understanding it correctly, supportively suggesting alternative paths, and validating the speaker's feelings using supportive, nonjudgmental words and gestures (Zenger & Folkman, 2016).
At the same time, it's important to pack your patience and curb bad habits during these stages. For instance, most of us have been taught throughout our lives to hear and then immediately respond to what we heard. Therefore, it's common for listeners to begin preparing a response to what they’re hearing while they’re hearing it, which means they’re not fully listening to what is being said or giving safe space to the person saying it. While this urge to comment early and often is difficult to suppress, with practice and patience, good listeners learn to do it. This not only helps the speaker feel heard and understood, it also provides the listener with the entire picture, which ultimately allows for better responses and decision-making in interpersonal and organizational relationships.
Bouchrika, I. (April 17, 2024). Communications Degree: Requirements & Career Prospects for 2024 | Research.com
DeVito, Joseph A. (2000). The elements of public speaking (7th ed.). New York, NY: Longman.
Hamilton, I. (July 3, 2023). Best Online Communications Degrees Of 2024 – Forbes Advisor .
Sinek, Simon. (Oct. 27, 2021). The Art of Listening. YouTube ( Bing Videos ).
Ury, William. (Jan. 7, 2015). The power of listening. TEDxSanDiego ( Bing Videos ).
Zenger, J. & Folkman, J. (2016). What Great Listeners Actually Do, Harvard Business Review. What Great Listeners Actually Do (hbr.org)
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Essay on Listening Skills
Students are often asked to write an essay on Listening Skills in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.
Let’s take a look…
100 Words Essay on Listening Skills
Importance of listening skills.
Listening skills are vital in all aspects of life. They help us understand others, learn new things, and build strong relationships.
Types of Listening
There are different types of listening: active, passive, and empathetic. Each type is useful in different situations.
Improving Listening Skills
To improve your listening skills, pay attention, avoid distractions, and show empathy. Practice also plays a key role in enhancing these skills.
Benefits of Good Listening
Good listeners are successful in personal and professional life. They can solve problems, make better decisions, and foster positive connections.
250 Words Essay on Listening Skills
Introduction, the importance of listening skills.
In an academic setting, students with good listening skills tend to excel as they can understand and retain information more effectively. In professional environments, these skills help in building strong relationships, solving problems, and making informed decisions. They are crucial in team collaboration, as they foster understanding and mutual respect among team members.
Improving listening skills requires conscious effort. It begins with giving undivided attention to the speaker, avoiding distractions, and being genuinely interested in the conversation. It also involves practicing patience, not interrupting the speaker, and providing feedback to ensure understanding.
Active Listening
Active listening is a step further. It involves showing empathy, asking relevant questions, and paraphrasing to confirm comprehension. This not only enhances understanding but also makes the speaker feel valued and heard, strengthening the relationship.
In conclusion, listening skills are an essential part of effective communication. They play a crucial role in academic achievement, professional success, and personal relationships. By practicing active listening, we can enhance these skills and improve our interactions with others.
500 Words Essay on Listening Skills
Listening is an integral part of communication, a skill often overlooked in our fast-paced, technology-driven world. It is more than just hearing the words spoken by another person; it involves understanding and interpreting these words in a meaningful way.
The Art of Active Listening
Active listening is a more involved form of listening where the listener not only hears the words but also understands and interprets them. It involves giving feedback, such as nodding or paraphrasing, to show understanding. This kind of listening also requires one to avoid distractions, maintain eye contact, and show empathy towards the speaker. Active listening can lead to better understanding, improved relationships, and more effective communication.
Barriers to Effective Listening
Several barriers can hinder effective listening. These include physical distractions, such as noise or discomfort, and psychological distractions, like preconceived notions or emotional bias. Additionally, cultural differences can also pose a challenge, as they can lead to misunderstanding or misinterpretation of the speaker’s words. Overcoming these barriers requires conscious effort and practice.
1. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness helps us focus on the present moment, making it easier to concentrate on the speaker’s words without being distracted. 2. Provide feedback: Giving feedback, such as nodding or paraphrasing, can show the speaker that you are actively engaged in the conversation. 3. Ask questions: Asking questions not only shows your interest but also helps to clarify any misunderstandings. 4. Respect cultural differences: Understanding and respecting cultural differences can help avoid misinterpretation and foster better communication.
In conclusion, listening skills are a vital part of effective communication. They require active engagement, understanding, and empathy. By practicing active listening and overcoming the barriers to effective listening, we can improve our communication skills, enhance our relationships, and better understand the world around us. Indeed, the art of listening is a skill that, when mastered, can open a world of possibilities and deeper connections.
Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .
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Mike Robbins
Infusing Life and Business with Authenticity and Appreciation
The Power of Listening
November 22, 2021 4 Comments
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How well do you listen to the people around you? Listening can be challenging, especially these days, but the power of listening is so important.
When we listen, it allows us to better understand ourselves and other people too.
However, with all of the distractions around us and within our own heads, it’s incredible that we ever hear anything that anyone says at all.
By listening, we can become better leaders and learners.
The Power of Listening and All of its Benefits
Listening is not only the most essential aspect of communication – it can make or break our relationships.
Listening has a significant effect on our ability to appreciate, respond to, and empower others.
Here are some of the benefits of listening:
Listening shows respect
By listening to others, you show them respect. You let them know that you care about what they’re saying and that you value their perspective.
When you show respect to others, they will show it back to you as well.
Listening helps you understand
When you use the power of listening, you can better understand what people are saying, why they are saying it, and where they are coming from.
If listening is a challenge for you, welcome to the club. It can be very difficult to do and to do well, especially in today’s fast-paced, virtual world.
Listening can help prevent misunderstandings, conflict, and confusion.
Listening helps foster relationships
When someone knows that you are truly listening, it can help improve your relationship with them.
Showing that you care by listening can go a long way in helping foster relationships.
People are grateful for others who know how to listen.
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The Three Levels of Listening
By understanding these three levels of listening, it can show us what to do to become more effective in our ability to listen to others.
1. Be Present
Give the person your full attention. Stop everything you are doing, whether you are typing on your phone or computer, watching TV, or anything else.
Multi-tasking doesn’t work when you’re listening to others.
By being present, you will hear everything the other person is saying. You will make them feel acknowledged and important.
2. Form an Emotional Connection
When we are present, we can listen between the words. We can hear and feel where someone is coming from.
When we connect with the person emotionally, it’s much easier to resolve a conflict, understand them, or figure out how to support them.
3. Listen in an Empowering Way
How do you feel about the person who is talking?
The “filter” we listen through has everything to do with what we hear and how we relate to the other person. If our filter (i.e. opinion) of the other person or what they are saying is not empowering, see if you can “upgrade” it (i.e., find the good stuff).
When we listen in an empowering way, we take responsibility for our judgments and realize that our opinions color what we hear and how we hear it.
It’s challenging to have an empowering or positive conversation with someone whom we judge in a negative way.
It may not be easy, but being committed to healthy communications and relationships means identifying our judgments and then doing whatever we can to move through them, which will allow us to listen to others in an empowering way.
The Power of Listening Requires Us to do the Internal Work
When we’re able to do the internal work it takes to become better listeners, we can enhance our relationships in a profound way.
Being someone who can listen to others is such a vital skill, especially these days.
It’s not always easy. It takes some practice and humility and is an ongoing, moment-by-moment phenomenon.
However, listening to others can allow for so many positive things:
- Improved communication
- Resolved conflicts
- Deeper connection
- Greater appreciation
- Enhanced understanding
- Increased learning
- Profound awareness
Have fun with it as you practice the power of listening.
See if you can put some attention today and the rest of this week on taking time to put a deeper effort into listening to the people around you.
Share your thoughts, action ideas, insights, and more here on my blog below.
I have written five books about the importance of trust, authenticity, appreciation, and more. In addition, I deliver keynotes and seminars (both in-person and virtually) to empower people, leaders, and teams to grow, connect, and perform their best. Finally, as an expert in teamwork, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I teach techniques that allow people and organizations to be more authentic and effective. Find out more about how I can help you and your team achieve your goals today. You can also listen to my podcast here .
Liked this post? Here are three more!
- Are You Bringing Your Whole Self to Work?
- You Are Enough
- Are You Jealous of Other People’s Success?
This article was published on September 30, 2008, and updated for 2021.
Related posts:
- How to Embrace Disappointment and Learn From it
- Why Empathy is Important: How to Become More Empathetic
- How to Bring Your Whole Self to Work
Reader Interactions
October 1, 2008 at 11:34 am
I fell in love with the book title, “Listening is an Act of Love”. Just the title alone. It’s something I truly believe – listening IS an act of love. Dave Isay is the founder of StoryCorps, and after reading reviews of his book and the history of how and why StoryCorps came into being the book is on my Christmas wish list. Have you read it?
September 11, 2020 at 12:58 pm
No, I have not read the book, “Listening Is An Act Of Love”.
January 31, 2022 at 5:48 am
My personal goal for 2022 is to learn how to listen properly. I hope your post will help me achieve this.
March 24, 2022 at 3:13 am
Listening is a skill that comes with age
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Active Listening: The Role in Communication Essay
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Active Listening Builds Trust and Strong Relationships
Active listening can help you to resolve conflict, active listening prevents you from missing important information, active listening enables you to identify or anticipate problems, active listening helps you to build more knowledge, active listening empowers you as a leader, active communication real-life scenario.
In this regard, active listening can be used as a tool to improve the quality of relationships among team members. For example, a leader that is characterized by the ability to pay attention to employees’ concerns is generally perceived as a more reliable person (Hoppe 13). Therefore, an individual can benefit from this skill when meeting new people or improving relationships with current partners and team members.
For example, a leader with strong active listening skills can benefit from this ability by using it to get feedback about a service or product and learn new information from the client’s feedback. This approach emphasizes focusing on another person’s perspective and aiming to understand it better. As a result of reflective thinking, one can specify what exactly should be changed to resolve the conflict and satisfy customers’ needs.
For instance, when a person practices active listening, they make sure to confirm if their understanding of the situation is correct by paraphrasing what was said and asking confirmation questions. In doing so, an individual can often get additional explanations from the speaker, which is helpful in getting a comprehensive view of the problem and grasping different aspects of the information better.
For example, a person with well-developed active listening skills is usually good at critical thinking and analysis. These qualities are crucial when trying to determine or anticipate a problem or risk. As a result of thoughtful reflection and active listening, one can easily notice different details that prove critical to the underlying issue.
In this regard, a relevant example is a leader with developed active listening skills, whose ability helps them collect and use valuable data regarding a particular business project. For instance, by actively listening to different people involved in the project, the leader can discover new information, gain insights, and eventually identify an efficient business strategy.
For example, an individual that is confident in their abilities tends to be more successful in various aspects of their work. Active listening can provide a person with important knowledge and insight, which in turn can inspire them as a leader.
To conclude, active listening is an essential skill focused on understanding the perspective of the person involved in the conversation. This ability does not imply merely hearing what the speaker says and offering feedback. The active listening skill involves listening to the person and making an effort to understand their message by reflecting on their words. In this regard, the listener demonstrates their concern about the situation by focusing on what is happening around them rather than themselves. Such an ability allows individuals to empathize with other people’s emotions, feelings, and behaviors. Furthermore, active listening provides such benefits as trustful and strong relationships, more effective conflict resolution, and improved understanding of the information. This essential skill can be helpful in determining and predicting problems, accumulating knowledge, and being a confident leader. Overall, active listening is crucial in a business setting as well as in other scenarios.
Waiter: Good evening, I will be your waiter tonight. Can I start you off with a drink?
Customer: Yeah, I’ll have some water, please.
Waiter: Still or sparkling?
Customer: Still.
Waiter: Sure, I will be right back with that.
Waiter: Here is your water. Are you ready to order your food?
Customer: Yes, I am. I will get a beef burger. On the burger, I will have no tomatoes and onions, please.
Waiter: Just to make sure I got it right, a beef burger, no tomatoes and onions?
Customer: You got it.
Waiter: Alright, would you like fries or a baked potato with your burger?
Customer: Fries, please.
Waiter: Sure, I will be back with your order in a few minutes.
A few moments later…
Waiter: Okay, here is your burger with no tomatoes and onions and fries. Enjoy your meal.
Waiter: Just to make sure, is everything alright? Would you like anything else?
Customer: Umm, actually, my burger is not so good. The sauce you guys put on here is terribly spicy, and my burger is overcooked.
Waiter: I am so sorry to hear that. You said the sauce was too spicy, and your burger was overcooked?
Customer: Yes, that’s right.
Waiter: I will write that down and let the chief know. We are really sorry that you were not satisfied with your food. Can I offer you a new meal on the house?
Customer: I just want to say I am disappointed that you guys would serve such a bad meal. It has ruined my entire evening. I am not even sure if I want to take you up on your offer for a new meal. Sighs…
Waiter: Again, sir, I am truly sorry, you must feel so frustrated about this incident, so the least we can do is make you a new meal on the house. I know this isn’t an excuse, but the chief is new to the job, and this is the first meal he has messed up, so he will be truly sorry about serving an overcooked meal.
Customer: You said the chief is new?
Waiter: Yes, although like I said it is no excuse.
Customer: You know I apologize I may have overreacted a little, I will take you up on your offer about that new meal as everyone deserves a second chance.
Waiter: Please don’t apologize, you did nothing wrong. Would you like another burger or do you need a couple minutes to choose something else from the menu?
Customer: I’ll just have another burger.
Waiter: Sure. Once again, no onions, tomatoes, or sauce on your burger, is that right?
Customer: That is correct.
A few moments later…
Waiter: Okay, so here is your new burger. Again, apologies for the first meal. I hope you will enjoy this one.
Customer: Like I said, everyone deserves a second chance, and this bite will determine if that is true.
Waiter: We appreciate your decision to give us a second chance.
Waiter: So, how is everything?
Customer: Fantastic, you can tell the chief that this is the best burger I have ever tasted. Thank you very much, it was worth accepting your offer.
Waiter: I am glad to hear that. Enjoy the rest of your meal!
Hoppe, Michael H. Active Listening: Improve Your Ability to Listen and Lead . Center for Creative Leadership, 2018.
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IvyPanda. (2024, April 27). Active Listening: The Role in Communication. https://ivypanda.com/essays/active-listening-the-role-in-communication/
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Active listening is a communication technique used in counselling, training and conflict resolution, which requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties. When interacting, people often “wait to speak” rather than listening attentively. They might also be distracted. Active listening is a structured way of listening and responding to others, focusing attention on the “function” of communicating objectively as opposed to focusing on “forms”, passive expression or subjectivity. There are many opinions on what “active listening” is. A search of the term reveals interpretations of the “activity” as including “interpreting body language” or focusing on something other than or in addition to words. Successful communication is the establishment of common ground between two people’understanding. Agreeing to disagree is common ground. Common ground can be false, i.e., a person says they feel a certain way but they do not. Nevertheless it is common ground, once accepted as understood. Dialogue, understanding and progress can only arise from that common ground. And that common ground cannot be established without respect for the words as spoken by the speaker, for whatever reason. Thus the essence of active listening is as simple as it is effective: paraphrasing the speakers words back to them as a question. There is little room for assumption or interpretation. It is functional, mechanical and leaves little doubt as to what is meant by what is said. “The process is successful if the person receiving the information gives feedback which shows understanding for meaning. Suspending one’s own frame of reference, suspending judgment and avoiding other internal mental activities are important to fully attend to the speaker. Comprehension is “shared meaning between parties in a communication transaction”. This is the first step in the listening process. The first challenge for the listener is accurately identifying speech sounds and understanding and synthesizing these sounds as words. We are constantly bombarded with auditory stimuli, so the listener has to select which of those stimuli are speech sounds and choose to pay attention to the appropriate sounds (attending). The second challenge is being able to discern breaks between discernible words, or speech segmentation. This becomes significantly more difficult with an unfamiliar language because the speech sounds blend together into a continuous jumble. Determining the context and meanings of each word is essential to comprehending a sentence. This is the second step in the listening process. Memory is essential to the listening process because the information we retain when involved in the listening process is how we create meaning from words. We depend on our memory to fill in the blanks when we’re listening. Because everyone has different memories, the speaker and the listener may attach different meanings to the same statement. However, our memories are fallible and we can’t remember everything that we’ve ever listened to. There are many reasons why we forget some information that we’ve received. The first is cramming. When you cram there is a lot of information entered into your short term memory. Shortly after cramming, when you don’t need the information anymore, it is purged from your brain before it can be transferred into your long term memory. The second reason is that you aren’t paying attention when you receive the information. Alternatively, when you receive the information you may not attach importance to it, so it loses its meaning. A fourth reason is at the time the information was received you lacked motivation to listen carefully to better remember it. Using information immediately after receiving it enhances information retention and lessens the forgetting curve (the rate at which we no longer retain information in our memory). Retention is lessened when we engage in mindless listening, where little effort is made to listen to a speaker’s message. Mindful listening is active listening. Listening is an interaction between speaker and listener. It adds action to a normally passive process. The speaker looks for verbal and nonverbal responses from the listener to if the message is being listened to. Usually the response is nonverbal because if the response is verbal the speaker/listener roles are reversed so the listener becomes the speaker and is no longer listening. Based on the response the speaker chooses to either adjust or continue with his/her communication style. Active listening involves the listener observing the speaker’s behavior and body language. Having the ability to interpret a person’s body language lets the listener develop a more accurate understanding of the speaker’s message. When the listener does not respond to the speaker’s nonverbal language, (s)he engages in a content-only response which ignores the emotions that guide the message. Having heard, the listener may then paraphrase the speaker’s words. It is important to note that the listener is not necessarily agreeing with the speaker’simply stating what was said. In emotionally charged communications, the listener may listen for feelings. Thus, rather than merely repeating what the speaker has said, the active listener will describe the underlying emotion (“You seem to feel angry,” or “You seem to feel frustrated, is that because … ?”). Individuals in conflict often contradict each other. This has the effect of denying the validity of the other person’s position. Ambushing occurs when one listens to someone else’s argument for its weaknesses and ignore its strengths. The purpose is to attack the speaker’s position and support their own. This may include a distortion of the speaker’s argument to gain a competitive advantage. Either party may react defensively, and they may lash out or withdraw. On the other hand, if one finds that the other party understands, an atmosphere of cooperation can be created. This increases the possibility of collaborating and resolving the conflict. In the book Leader Effectiveness Training, Thomas Gordon, who coined the term “active listening,” states “Active listening is certainly not complex. Listeners need only restate, in their own language, their impression of the expression of the sender. … Still, learning to do Active Listening well is a rather difficult task …” Active listening is used in a wide variety of situations, including public interest advocacy, community organizing, tutoring, medical workers talking to patients,HIV counseling, helping suicidal persons, management,counseling and journalistic settings. In groups it may aid in reaching consensus. It may also be used in casual conversation or small talk to build understanding, though this can be interpreted as condescending. A listener can use several degrees of active listening, each resulting in a different quality of communication. The active listening chart below shows the three main degrees of listening: repeating, paraphrasing and reflecting. Listening barriers may be psychological (e.g. emotions) or physical (e.g. noise and visual distraction). Cultural differences including speakers’ accents, vocabulary, and misunderstandings due to cultural assumptions often obstruct the listening process. The first of these is the shift response which is the general tendency in a conversation to affix the attention to you. There is competition between individuals for attention and a focus on self by shifting the topic; it is a me-oriented technique. The listener shifts from a passive position, receiver, to an active role, sender. This is a type of conversational narcissism; the tendency of listeners to turn the topic of conversations to themselves without showing sustained interest in others listening. With conversational narcissism there is a tendency to overuse the shift response and under use the support response. A support response is the opposite of a shift response; it is an attention giving method and a cooperative effort to focus the conversational attention on the other person. Instead of being me-oriented like shift response, it is we-oriented. It is the response most likely to be used by a competent communicator To use the active listening technique to improve interpersonal communication, one puts personal emotions aside during the conversation, asks questions and paraphrases back to the speaker to clarify understanding, and one also tries to overcome all types of environment distractions. Judging or arguing prematurely is a result of holding onto a strict personal opinion. This hinders the ability to be able to listen closely to what is being said. Furthermore, the listener considers the speaker’s background, both cultural and personal, to benefit as much as possible from the communication process. Eye contact and appropriate body languages are seen as important components to active listening. Effective listening involves focusing on what the speaker is saying; at times the listener might come across certain key words which may help them understand the speaker. The stress and intonation may also keep them active and away from distractions. Taking notes on the message can aid in retention. There are several misconceptions about listening. The first of these is listening and hearing are the same thing. Hearing is the physiological process of registering sound waves as they hit the eardrum. We have no control over what we hear. The sounds we hear have no meaning until we give them their meaning in context. Listening on the other hand is an active process that constructs meaning from both verbal and nonverbal messages. Active Listening has been developed as a concept in music and technology by Fran??ois Pachet, researcher at Sony Computer Science Laboratory – Paris. Active listening in music refers to the idea that listeners can be given some degree of control on the music they listen to, by means of technological applications mainly based on artificial intelligence and information theory techniques, by opposition to traditional listening, in which the musical media is played passively by some neutral device
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The Power of Listening
Effective Listening Skills Student Name Institutional Affiliation Effective Listening Skills TED talk involves a discussion regarding various ways through which someone can improve their listening capabilities using various exercises some of which can be quite hard to comprehend. However, with dedication and practice, someone can listen more effectively and easily. According to Julian, listening is influenced by factors such as the intention of the listener. If the listener’s intention is divergent with the speech content, there is a high probability of difficulties in comprehension. Application of the basic listening skills helps the individual to master the skills and apply them effectively. Ted talk will be beneficial in helping me to improve my listening skills. The reason is that the talk outlines the critical baseline of effective listening through assessing the listening impediments and suggesting the applicable improvement strategies. To listen effectively, I will use skills such as maintaining the eye contact as it helps to avoid distractions that may arise in the process of listening. I would ensure that I am attentive and relaxed to aid other listening skills. This also helps me to maintain an open mind as I create mental pictures of the oral speed to aid comprehension. Also, I would ensure that I do not interrupt the speaker unnecessarily to for better listening. My listening goals include ensuring that I hone my effective listening skills to ensure that I understand every aspect of the speech or talk.
Wait! The Power of Listening paper is just an example!
I also plan to ensure comprehend the minute details of all speeches irrespective of the speaker’s tone or fluency of the language. Listening is a critical aspect of my career due to the ever growing need for communication with my colleagues and clients. Therefore, it’s imperative that effective listening is an essential element of successful communication. Reference Fedesco, H. N. (2015). The impact of (in) effective listening on interpersonal interactions. International Journal of Listening, 29(2), 103-106.
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The Reason People Are Not Telling Biden the Truth
![the power of listening essay A black-and-white photograph of Joe Biden surrounded by a circle of people.](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2024/07/15/multimedia/15grant-kctp/15grant-kctp-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale)
By Adam Grant
Dr. Grant, a contributing Opinion writer, is an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania.
They entered with courage and exited as cowards. In the past two weeks, several leaders have told me they arrived at meetings with President Biden planning to have serious discussions about whether he should withdraw from the 2024 election. They all chickened out.
I don’t know whether Mr. Biden should drop out of the race. It’s impossible to predict the outcome with certainty. My concern is about the decision process. There’s a gap between what people say behind the president’s back and what they say to his face. Instead of dissent and debate, they’re falling victim to groupthink.
According to the original theory, groupthink happens when people become so cohesive and close-knit that they put harmony above honesty. Extensive evidence has debunked that idea. The root causes of silence are not social solidarity but fear and futility . People bite their tongues when they doubt that it’s safe and worthwhile to speak up. Leaders who want to make informed decisions need to make it clear they value candid input.
Mr. Biden has done the opposite, declaring first that only the Lord almighty could change his mind and then saying that he’ll drop out only if polls say there’s no way for him to win. That sends a strong message: If you’re not an immortal being or a time traveler from the future, it’s pointless to share any concerns about the viability of his candidacy.
The president is in a tough spot. Even conceding privately that he might consider stepping aside could crush the confidence of his advisers and risk a leak to the press. But a little humility could go a long way: “I believe I’m the best qualified to govern, but I don’t know for sure. I think I can win, but I might be wrong.” Along with inviting dissent, these acts of receptiveness might make Mr. Biden more persuasive. People put more faith in a balanced argument and a leader who wants to learn.
Showing openness can raise people’s confidence, but it’s not always enough to quell their fear. In our research, Constantinos Coutifaris and I found that it helps for leaders to criticize themselves out loud. That way, instead of just claiming that they want the truth, they can show that they can handle the truth. If he hasn’t already, Mr. Biden could do that by gathering his family and advisers to watch a video of the debate with him and then kicking off a candid discussion by talking about what he thought he did wrong. Reviewing the game tape together would demonstrate that he’s willing to take an honest look in the mirror.
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People doesn't know the power of listening so sometimes the outcome of it isshould know how to listen. It helps us understand more on the things that is happening. Post a Question. Provide details on what you need help with along with a budget and time limit. Questions are posted anonymously and can be made 100% private.
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