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8.4: Creating and Revising a Thesis Statement

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HOW CAN I CREATE A THESIS?

TOPIC + OPINION + SO WHAT? = THESIS

Step 1 : Brainstorm Topics

Here are some questions that could help you:

  • What in the text inspired, confused, angered, excited, annoyed, and/or surprised you?
  • What in the text was important for you to understand or you feel others should be aware of?
  • What does the prompt/assignment ask you to focus on and explore?

Brainstorm the issues, ideas, and themes raised in the reading (create at least 15 for a range of options):

Step 2 : Select a topic

Choose one of the topics that most interest you and you want to explore further:

Step 3 : Create complex questions about your topic

Create complex questions to be answered with opinion, not facts or yes/no answers. Here are some question formats that could help you: How is (topic) connected to (outside issue)? How do the flaws in the author’s arguments on (topic) result in (outcome)? What angles on (topic) have been overlooked? How can we apply the information about (topic)? How did/will (effect) occur because/if (cause) happened or will happen? How can (problem) be addressed or changed for (topic)?

Step 4 : Answer your best question with your opinion.

This creates a rough thesis statement.

Step 5 : Ask yourself “so what?” So what is the impact, importance, outcomes, or larger implications?

This strengthens and deepens your thesis statement.

Step 6 : Using your answer with its significance, write a 1-2 sentence thesis statement.

This refines and focuses your thesis statement.

Step 7 : Test the thesis by seeing if you can gather good evidence to support it.

Go through the main text(s) you are writing on and list all the passages (using page numbers) that directly prove and/or illustrate your argument: List potential outside evidence, such as research, outside sources, real-life examples, personal knowledge, personal examples that could possibly further prove and/or illustrate your argument: If you cannot find strong or sufficient evidence, then rethink your thesis statement.

Step 1 : Brainstorm Topics Here are some questions that could help you:

Reading and writing as dangerous

How is control of human beings connected to writing and reading?

Why were the slaveholders so fearful of slaves learning to read and write?

When has reading lead to violence and uprising?

What about becoming educated leads to Douglass’s despair?

Slaves were controlled by not being able to read and write because they could not learn by reading the arguments and experiences of others and from history what is fair, just and reasonable and what is not.

So what? We should be concerned because in certain parts of the world today, what the public can read and write is controlled and as a result the rights of the people are violated and they are powerless or ignorant of this.

The control and limitations over reading and writing during slavery sought to make slaves like Douglass ignorant, powerless, and more easily controlled, and this control over literacy and education is still happening in the world today.

Go through the main text(s) you are writing on and list all the passages (using page numbers) that directly prove and/or illustrate your argument:

  • Douglass discovers that “… education and slavery were incompatible with each other.” (1)
  • On page 2 it describes how Douglass read in “The Columbian Orator” how a slave used logic and persuasive argument so well that his master freed him (shows education can lead to change).
  • Reading and education makes one intolerant of injustice: “The more I read, the more I was led to abhor and detest my enslavers” (2).
  • Douglass says: “…that very discontentment which Master Hugh had predicted would follow my learning to read had already come, to torment and sting my soul to unutterable anguish. As I writhed under it, I would at times feel that learning to read had been a curse rather than a blessing. It had given me a view of my wretched condition, without the remedy. It opened my eyes to the horrible pit, but to no ladder upon which to get out. In moments of agony, I envied my fellow-slaves for their stupidity” (2) (But Douglass did not give up and later was instrumental in abolishing slavery)

List potential outside evidence, such as research, outside sources, real-life examples, personal knowledge, personal examples that could possibly further prove and/or illustrate your argument:

  • Mukhtar Mai in her memoir In the Name of Honor , tells how as a woman in Pakistan, she was not allowed to learn to read and write. As a result, when she was publically gang raped in 2002 by members of a more powerful clan, she went to the police and they wrote down an incorrect statement of the account so after years of going through the court system, the men were acquitted. Since then she has learned to read and write, she has started schools to educate girls, and remains today an outspoken advocate for women’s rights.
  • In Alex S. Jones’s Losing the News: The Future of the News that Feeds Democracy he argues that in the United States we are losing funding and support for investigative journalism so Americans are getting sound bites of news and no real understanding of what is going on politically or financially so we don’t protest and don’t understand the sources for the larger societal problems like the recent financial collapse.
  • Jonathan Kozol in Savage Inequalities , looks at different cities and sees how many of the urban poor, most of whom are black and Latino, are not given an equal education because school funding is based on income and property tax. As a result, there is an enormous dropout rate and many of these kids can barely read and write.

HOW CAN I REVISE AND STRENGTHEN A THESIS?

Changing ineffective thesis statements to effective ones:.

1. A strong thesis statement takes a stand: your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject.

WEAK THESIS: Douglass makes the interesting point that there are some negative and positive aspects to reading.

This is a weak thesis statement. It fails to take a stand and the words interesting and negative and positive aspects are vague.

STRONGER THESIS:

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion: your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion.

WEAK THESIS: Christians practiced slavery in the United States.

This is a weak thesis statement because it merely states a fact, so your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea: Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper.

WEAK THESIS: People should not follow unjust laws and showing strong determination is what helped Douglass to be successful.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about unjust laws or strong determination. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become clearer. STRONGER THESIS:

4. A strong thesis statement is specific: A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about and the argument should be narrow enough to be concretely proven.

WEAK THESIS: Slavery in the United States damaged many lives.

This is a weak thesis statement for two reasons. First, slavery can’t be discussed thoroughly in a short essay. Second, damaged is vague and many lives is very general. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. STRONGER THESIS:

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On Thesis Statements

The thesis statement.

This is not an exhaustive list of bad thesis statements, but here're five kinds of problems I've seen most often. Notice that the last two, #4 and #5, are not necessarily incorrect or illegitimate thesis statements, but, rather, inappropriate for the purposes of this course. They may be useful forms for papers on different topics in other courses.

A thesis takes a position on an issue. It is different from a topic sentence in that a thesis statement is not neutral. It announces, in addition to the topic, the argument you want to make or the point you want to prove. This is your own opinion that you intend to back up. This is your reason and motivation for writing.

Bad Thesis 1

Bad Thesis 2 : This paper will consider the advantages and disadvantages of certain restrictions on free speech.

Better Thesis 1 : Stanley Fish's argument that free speech exists more as a political prize than as a legal reality ignores the fact that even as a political prize it still serves the social end of creating a general cultural atmosphere of tolerance that may ultimately promote free speech in our nation just as effectively as any binding law.

Better Thesis 2 : Even though there may be considerable advantages to restricting hate speech, the possibility of chilling open dialogue on crucial racial issues is too great and too high a price to pay.

A thesis should be as specific as possible, and it should be tailored to reflect the scope of the paper. It is not possible, for instance, to write about the history of English literature in a 5 page paper. In addition to choosing simply a smaller topic, strategies to narrow a thesis include specifying a method or perspective or delineating certain limits.

Bad Thesis 2 : The government has the right to limit free speech.

Better Thesis 1 : There should be no restrictions on the 1st amendment if those restrictions are intended merely to protect individuals from unspecified or otherwise unquantifiable or unverifiable "emotional distress."

Better Thesis 2 : The government has the right to limit free speech in cases of overtly racist or sexist language because our failure to address such abuses would effectively suggest that our society condones such ignorant and hateful views.

A thesis must be arguable. And in order for it to be arguable, it must present a view that someone might reasonably contest. Sometimes a thesis ultimately says, "we should be good," or "bad things are bad." Such thesis statements are tautological or so universally accepted that there is no need to prove the point.

Bad Thesis 2 : There are always alternatives to using racist speech.

Better Thesis 1 : If we can accept that emotional injuries can be just as painful as physical ones we should limit speech that may hurt people's feelings in ways similar to the way we limit speech that may lead directly to bodily harm.

Better Thesis 2 : The "fighting words" exception to free speech is not legitimate because it wrongly considers speech as an action.

A good argumentative thesis provides not only a position on an issue, but also suggests the structure of the paper. The thesis should allow the reader to imagine and anticipate the flow of the paper, in which a sequence of points logically prove the essay's main assertion. A list essay provides no such structure, so that different points and paragraphs appear arbitrary with no logical connection to one another.

Bad Thesis 2 : None of the arguments in favor of regulating pornography are persuasive.

Better Thesis 1 : Among the many reasons we need to limit hate speech the most compelling ones all refer to our history of discrimination and prejudice, and it is, ultimately, for the purpose of trying to repair our troubled racial society that we need hate speech legislation.

Better Thesis 2 : None of the arguments in favor of regulating pornography are persuasive because they all base their points on the unverifiable and questionable assumption that the producers of pornography necessarily harbor ill will specifically to women.

In an other course this would not be at all unacceptable, and, in fact, possibly even desirable. But in this kind of course, a thesis statement that makes a factual claim that can be verified only with scientific, sociological, psychological or other kind of experimental evidence is not appropriate. You need to construct a thesis that you are prepared to prove using the tools you have available, without having to consult the world's leading expert on the issue to provide you with a definitive judgment.

Bad Thesis 2 : Hate speech can cause emotional pain and suffering in victims just as intense as physical battery.

Better Thesis 1 : Whether or not the cultural concept of free speech bears any relation to the reality of 1st amendment legislation and jurisprudence, its continuing social function as a promoter of tolerance and intellectual exchange trumps the call for politicization (according to Fish's agenda) of the term.

Better Thesis 2 : The various arguments against the regulation of hate speech depend on the unspoken and unexamined assumption that emotional pain is either trivial.

what's a bad thesis statement

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Writing a Paper: Thesis Statements

Basics of thesis statements.

The thesis statement is the brief articulation of your paper's central argument and purpose. You might hear it referred to as simply a "thesis." Every scholarly paper should have a thesis statement, and strong thesis statements are concise, specific, and arguable. Concise means the thesis is short: perhaps one or two sentences for a shorter paper. Specific means the thesis deals with a narrow and focused topic, appropriate to the paper's length. Arguable means that a scholar in your field could disagree (or perhaps already has!).

Strong thesis statements address specific intellectual questions, have clear positions, and use a structure that reflects the overall structure of the paper. Read on to learn more about constructing a strong thesis statement.

Being Specific

This thesis statement has no specific argument:

Needs Improvement: In this essay, I will examine two scholarly articles to find similarities and differences.

This statement is concise, but it is neither specific nor arguable—a reader might wonder, "Which scholarly articles? What is the topic of this paper? What field is the author writing in?" Additionally, the purpose of the paper—to "examine…to find similarities and differences" is not of a scholarly level. Identifying similarities and differences is a good first step, but strong academic argument goes further, analyzing what those similarities and differences might mean or imply.

Better: In this essay, I will argue that Bowler's (2003) autocratic management style, when coupled with Smith's (2007) theory of social cognition, can reduce the expenses associated with employee turnover.

The new revision here is still concise, as well as specific and arguable.  We can see that it is specific because the writer is mentioning (a) concrete ideas and (b) exact authors.  We can also gather the field (business) and the topic (management and employee turnover). The statement is arguable because the student goes beyond merely comparing; he or she draws conclusions from that comparison ("can reduce the expenses associated with employee turnover").

Making a Unique Argument

This thesis draft repeats the language of the writing prompt without making a unique argument:

Needs Improvement: The purpose of this essay is to monitor, assess, and evaluate an educational program for its strengths and weaknesses. Then, I will provide suggestions for improvement.

You can see here that the student has simply stated the paper's assignment, without articulating specifically how he or she will address it. The student can correct this error simply by phrasing the thesis statement as a specific answer to the assignment prompt.

Better: Through a series of student interviews, I found that Kennedy High School's antibullying program was ineffective. In order to address issues of conflict between students, I argue that Kennedy High School should embrace policies outlined by the California Department of Education (2010).

Words like "ineffective" and "argue" show here that the student has clearly thought through the assignment and analyzed the material; he or she is putting forth a specific and debatable position. The concrete information ("student interviews," "antibullying") further prepares the reader for the body of the paper and demonstrates how the student has addressed the assignment prompt without just restating that language.

Creating a Debate

This thesis statement includes only obvious fact or plot summary instead of argument:

Needs Improvement: Leadership is an important quality in nurse educators.

A good strategy to determine if your thesis statement is too broad (and therefore, not arguable) is to ask yourself, "Would a scholar in my field disagree with this point?" Here, we can see easily that no scholar is likely to argue that leadership is an unimportant quality in nurse educators.  The student needs to come up with a more arguable claim, and probably a narrower one; remember that a short paper needs a more focused topic than a dissertation.

Better: Roderick's (2009) theory of participatory leadership  is particularly appropriate to nurse educators working within the emergency medicine field, where students benefit most from collegial and kinesthetic learning.

Here, the student has identified a particular type of leadership ("participatory leadership"), narrowing the topic, and has made an arguable claim (this type of leadership is "appropriate" to a specific type of nurse educator). Conceivably, a scholar in the nursing field might disagree with this approach. The student's paper can now proceed, providing specific pieces of evidence to support the arguable central claim.

Choosing the Right Words

This thesis statement uses large or scholarly-sounding words that have no real substance:

Needs Improvement: Scholars should work to seize metacognitive outcomes by harnessing discipline-based networks to empower collaborative infrastructures.

There are many words in this sentence that may be buzzwords in the student's field or key terms taken from other texts, but together they do not communicate a clear, specific meaning. Sometimes students think scholarly writing means constructing complex sentences using special language, but actually it's usually a stronger choice to write clear, simple sentences. When in doubt, remember that your ideas should be complex, not your sentence structure.

Better: Ecologists should work to educate the U.S. public on conservation methods by making use of local and national green organizations to create a widespread communication plan.

Notice in the revision that the field is now clear (ecology), and the language has been made much more field-specific ("conservation methods," "green organizations"), so the reader is able to see concretely the ideas the student is communicating.

Leaving Room for Discussion

This thesis statement is not capable of development or advancement in the paper:

Needs Improvement: There are always alternatives to illegal drug use.

This sample thesis statement makes a claim, but it is not a claim that will sustain extended discussion. This claim is the type of claim that might be appropriate for the conclusion of a paper, but in the beginning of the paper, the student is left with nowhere to go. What further points can be made? If there are "always alternatives" to the problem the student is identifying, then why bother developing a paper around that claim? Ideally, a thesis statement should be complex enough to explore over the length of the entire paper.

Better: The most effective treatment plan for methamphetamine addiction may be a combination of pharmacological and cognitive therapy, as argued by Baker (2008), Smith (2009), and Xavier (2011).

In the revised thesis, you can see the student make a specific, debatable claim that has the potential to generate several pages' worth of discussion. When drafting a thesis statement, think about the questions your thesis statement will generate: What follow-up inquiries might a reader have? In the first example, there are almost no additional questions implied, but the revised example allows for a good deal more exploration.

Thesis Mad Libs

If you are having trouble getting started, try using the models below to generate a rough model of a thesis statement! These models are intended for drafting purposes only and should not appear in your final work.

  • In this essay, I argue ____, using ______ to assert _____.
  • While scholars have often argued ______, I argue______, because_______.
  • Through an analysis of ______, I argue ______, which is important because_______.

Words to Avoid and to Embrace

When drafting your thesis statement, avoid words like explore, investigate, learn, compile, summarize , and explain to describe the main purpose of your paper. These words imply a paper that summarizes or "reports," rather than synthesizing and analyzing.

Instead of the terms above, try words like argue, critique, question , and interrogate . These more analytical words may help you begin strongly, by articulating a specific, critical, scholarly position.

Read Kayla's blog post for tips on taking a stand in a well-crafted thesis statement.

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While Sandel argues that pursuing perfection through genetic engineering would decrease our sense of humility, he claims that the sense of solidarity we would lose is also important.

This thesis summarizes several points in Sandel’s argument, but it does not make a claim about how we should understand his argument. A reader who read Sandel’s argument would not also need to read an essay based on this descriptive thesis.  

Broad thesis (arguable, but difficult to support with evidence) 

Michael Sandel’s arguments about genetic engineering do not take into consideration all the relevant issues.

This is an arguable claim because it would be possible to argue against it by saying that Michael Sandel’s arguments do take all of the relevant issues into consideration. But the claim is too broad. Because the thesis does not specify which “issues” it is focused on—or why it matters if they are considered—readers won’t know what the rest of the essay will argue, and the writer won’t know what to focus on. If there is a particular issue that Sandel does not address, then a more specific version of the thesis would include that issue—hand an explanation of why it is important.  

Arguable thesis with analytical claim 

While Sandel argues persuasively that our instinct to “remake” (54) ourselves into something ever more perfect is a problem, his belief that we can always draw a line between what is medically necessary and what makes us simply “better than well” (51) is less convincing.

This is an arguable analytical claim. To argue for this claim, the essay writer will need to show how evidence from the article itself points to this interpretation. It’s also a reasonable scope for a thesis because it can be supported with evidence available in the text and is neither too broad nor too narrow.  

Arguable thesis with normative claim 

Given Sandel’s argument against genetic enhancement, we should not allow parents to decide on using Human Growth Hormone for their children.

This thesis tells us what we should do about a particular issue discussed in Sandel’s article, but it does not tell us how we should understand Sandel’s argument.  

Questions to ask about your thesis 

  • Is the thesis truly arguable? Does it speak to a genuine dilemma in the source, or would most readers automatically agree with it?  
  • Is the thesis too obvious? Again, would most or all readers agree with it without needing to see your argument?  
  • Is the thesis complex enough to require a whole essay's worth of argument?  
  • Is the thesis supportable with evidence from the text rather than with generalizations or outside research?  
  • Would anyone want to read a paper in which this thesis was developed? That is, can you explain what this paper is adding to our understanding of a problem, question, or topic?
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what's a bad thesis statement

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How to write a thesis statement, what is a thesis statement.

Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement.

Why Should Your Essay Contain a Thesis Statement?

  • to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two
  • to better organize and develop your argument
  • to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument

In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores.

How Can You Write a Good Thesis Statement?

Here are some helpful hints to get you started. You can either scroll down or select a link to a specific topic.

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned

Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your assignment is, “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like, “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.

Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . .”
A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . .”

The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.

[ Back to top ]

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned

Even if your assignment doesn’t ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to answer a question about the issue you’d like to explore. In this situation, your job is to figure out what question you’d like to write about.

A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes:

  • take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree
  • deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment
  • express one main idea
  • assert your conclusions about a subject

Let’s see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper.

Brainstorm the topic . Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.

You start out with a thesis statement like this:

Sugar consumption.

This fragment isn’t a thesis statement. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Furthermore, your reader doesn’t know what you want to say about sugar consumption.

Narrow the topic . Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy.

You change your thesis to look like this:

Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children.

This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population: elementary school children. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. You should note that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesn’t know your conclusions on the topic.

Take a position on the topic. After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children consume.

You revise your thesis statement to look like this:

More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children.

This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague.

Use specific language . You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices , so you write:

Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar.

This statement is specific, but it isn’t a thesis. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion.

Make an assertion based on clearly stated support. You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:

Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.

Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.

How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

1. a strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand..

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.

This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because , since , so , although , unless , and however .

4. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects.

This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

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Refining thesis statements, what makes for an effective thesis.

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An effective thesis should be argumentative and controversial (i.e., if you could make a plausible case against your thesis, it is probably an argument), something not immediately obvious which you can persuade a reader to believe through the evidence in the body of your paper.

A strong thesis statement answers a specific question and takes a distinct position on the topic, is focused, and allows the reader to anticipate the organization of the argument to follow.

A weak thesis statement is vague (identifies a topic but does not specify an argument), offers plot summary or is a statement of fact, is un-provable, or does not give the reader a sense of why the argument is important.

Look over the two example thesis statements below. Consider and name how each of the progressively refined versions matches the criteria offered above.

Example Thesis A

Version 1: Marge Simpson is important to the plot of The Simpsons.

Version 2:  Marge Simpson is important to The Simpsons because she fulfills a significant family role as a mother and housewife.

Version 3:  Marge Simpson is important to The Simpsons because she fulfills a significant family role as a teacher and caregiver to her husband and children.

Version 4:  While Marge Simpson may be a model caregiver for her family, she is a different sort of model for her audience.

Version 5:  Despite her role as a seemingly submissive housewife and mother, Marge Simpson comes to function for the audience of The Simpsons as a subversive force against “middle class” values.

Example Thesis B

Version 1:  Eating disorders are a significant problem among college-aged students.

Version 2:  Eating disorders are a significant problem among college-aged men because they negatively affect academic performance, socializing, and overall psychological well-being.

Version 3:  Eating disorders among college-aged men are overshadowed by a focus on eating disorders among college-aged women.

Version 4:  Eating disorders among college-aged men are overshadowed by a focus on eating disorders among college-aged women; people don’t notice this because an eating disorder is typically considered a women’s disease and is stigmatized as such.

Version 5: Lack of attention to eating disorders among college-aged men not only leaves this group of students untreated, but also exacerbates feelings of isolation associated with this disease.

This handout was originally produced by Jane Wanninger, Graduate Student, Department of English, Vanderbilt University

Last revised: 07/2009 | Adapted for web delivery: 04/2021

In order to access certain content on this page, you may need to download Adobe Acrobat Reader or an equivalent PDF viewer software.

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what's a bad thesis statement

How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement: 4 Steps + Examples

what's a bad thesis statement

What’s Covered:

What is the purpose of a thesis statement, writing a good thesis statement: 4 steps, common pitfalls to avoid, where to get your essay edited for free.

When you set out to write an essay, there has to be some kind of point to it, right? Otherwise, your essay would just be a big jumble of word salad that makes absolutely no sense. An essay needs a central point that ties into everything else. That main point is called a thesis statement, and it’s the core of any essay or research paper.

You may hear about Master degree candidates writing a thesis, and that is an entire paper–not to be confused with the thesis statement, which is typically one sentence that contains your paper’s focus. 

Read on to learn more about thesis statements and how to write them. We’ve also included some solid examples for you to reference.

Typically the last sentence of your introductory paragraph, the thesis statement serves as the roadmap for your essay. When your reader gets to the thesis statement, they should have a clear outline of your main point, as well as the information you’ll be presenting in order to either prove or support your point. 

The thesis statement should not be confused for a topic sentence , which is the first sentence of every paragraph in your essay. If you need help writing topic sentences, numerous resources are available. Topic sentences should go along with your thesis statement, though.

Since the thesis statement is the most important sentence of your entire essay or paper, it’s imperative that you get this part right. Otherwise, your paper will not have a good flow and will seem disjointed. That’s why it’s vital not to rush through developing one. It’s a methodical process with steps that you need to follow in order to create the best thesis statement possible.

Step 1: Decide what kind of paper you’re writing

When you’re assigned an essay, there are several different types you may get. Argumentative essays are designed to get the reader to agree with you on a topic. Informative or expository essays present information to the reader. Analytical essays offer up a point and then expand on it by analyzing relevant information. Thesis statements can look and sound different based on the type of paper you’re writing. For example:

  • Argumentative: The United States needs a viable third political party to decrease bipartisanship, increase options, and help reduce corruption in government.
  • Informative: The Libertarian party has thrown off elections before by gaining enough support in states to get on the ballot and by taking away crucial votes from candidates.
  • Analytical: An analysis of past presidential elections shows that while third party votes may have been the minority, they did affect the outcome of the elections in 2020, 2016, and beyond.

Step 2: Figure out what point you want to make

Once you know what type of paper you’re writing, you then need to figure out the point you want to make with your thesis statement, and subsequently, your paper. In other words, you need to decide to answer a question about something, such as:

  • What impact did reality TV have on American society?
  • How has the musical Hamilton affected perception of American history?
  • Why do I want to major in [chosen major here]?

If you have an argumentative essay, then you will be writing about an opinion. To make it easier, you may want to choose an opinion that you feel passionate about so that you’re writing about something that interests you. For example, if you have an interest in preserving the environment, you may want to choose a topic that relates to that. 

If you’re writing your college essay and they ask why you want to attend that school, you may want to have a main point and back it up with information, something along the lines of:

“Attending Harvard University would benefit me both academically and professionally, as it would give me a strong knowledge base upon which to build my career, develop my network, and hopefully give me an advantage in my chosen field.”

Step 3: Determine what information you’ll use to back up your point

Once you have the point you want to make, you need to figure out how you plan to back it up throughout the rest of your essay. Without this information, it will be hard to either prove or argue the main point of your thesis statement. If you decide to write about the Hamilton example, you may decide to address any falsehoods that the writer put into the musical, such as:

“The musical Hamilton, while accurate in many ways, leaves out key parts of American history, presents a nationalist view of founding fathers, and downplays the racism of the times.”

Once you’ve written your initial working thesis statement, you’ll then need to get information to back that up. For example, the musical completely leaves out Benjamin Franklin, portrays the founding fathers in a nationalist way that is too complimentary, and shows Hamilton as a staunch abolitionist despite the fact that his family likely did own slaves. 

Step 4: Revise and refine your thesis statement before you start writing

Read through your thesis statement several times before you begin to compose your full essay. You need to make sure the statement is ironclad, since it is the foundation of the entire paper. Edit it or have a peer review it for you to make sure everything makes sense and that you feel like you can truly write a paper on the topic. Once you’ve done that, you can then begin writing your paper.

When writing a thesis statement, there are some common pitfalls you should avoid so that your paper can be as solid as possible. Make sure you always edit the thesis statement before you do anything else. You also want to ensure that the thesis statement is clear and concise. Don’t make your reader hunt for your point. Finally, put your thesis statement at the end of the first paragraph and have your introduction flow toward that statement. Your reader will expect to find your statement in its traditional spot.

If you’re having trouble getting started, or need some guidance on your essay, there are tools available that can help you. CollegeVine offers a free peer essay review tool where one of your peers can read through your essay and provide you with valuable feedback. Getting essay feedback from a peer can help you wow your instructor or college admissions officer with an impactful essay that effectively illustrates your point.

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Table of Contents

Ai, ethics & human agency, collaboration, information literacy, writing process, when is a thesis considered weak.

What is a weak thesis? How can a weak thesis be revised to make it stronger and more insightful? How should a thesis be developed?

A well-developed thesis statement should clearly and concisely communicate the main point, purpose, or argument of a paper. A weak thesis may be unfocused, incomplete, or inaccurate in some way. Building a focused, accurate thesis can be a challenge, but revising a weak thesis to make it complete and insightful will strengthen the paper’s foundation.

Related Concepts: Organizational Schema; Thesis, Research Question, Hypothesis, Title ; Weak Thesis

How can a weak thesis be revised to make it stronger and more insightful?

  • Weak : Should schools require students to take Physical Education courses or play a school sport?
  • Revised : A productive form of physical activity should be offered by schools to encourage healthy exercise habits and to lower childhood obesity rates.
  • Weak : Taking affirmative action is a way to confront discrimination.
  • Revised : Taking affirmative action is still necessary today to confront discrimination and ensure fair representation of gender and ethnicity within universities and workplaces.
  • Weak : Marijuana should not be legalized because smoking it is morally wrong.
  • Revised : Marijuana should not be legalized because research has shown that its use negatively affects brain cells, compromises the user’s judgment, and can become addictive.
  • Weak: Teenagers have things easier than in the past due to several advancements in society.
  • Revised: Today’s teenagers can access information quickly and easily due to technological advancements such as the wide availability of computers, high-speed Internet connections, and electronically searchable databases.
  • Weak: Providing iPads for each student is probably an unrealistic goal because damaging cuts are being made to educational spending, but this new technology should be provided as it is a useful tool for teaching students several skills.
  • Revised: Public schools should provide an iPad for each student because the device can be used as a helpful teaching tool in a variety of subject areas.

How should a thesis be developed?

  • e. g., unwanted teen pregnancy

The main point, purpose, or argument

  • e. g., incidence can be reduced

The how or why of the purpose or argument

  • e. g., by providing support for abstinence programs, increasing funding for sex education, and making contraceptives more accessible to teens

Example of a well-developed thesis:

The incidence of unwanted teen pregnancies can be reduced by providing support for abstinence programs, increasing funding for sex education, and making contraceptives more accessible to teens.

Brevity - Say More with Less

Brevity - Say More with Less

Clarity (in Speech and Writing)

Clarity (in Speech and Writing)

Coherence - How to Achieve Coherence in Writing

Coherence - How to Achieve Coherence in Writing

Diction

Flow - How to Create Flow in Writing

Inclusivity - Inclusive Language

Inclusivity - Inclusive Language

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The thesis statement or main claim must be debatable

An argumentative or persuasive piece of writing must begin with a debatable thesis or claim. In other words, the thesis must be something that people could reasonably have differing opinions on. If your thesis is something that is generally agreed upon or accepted as fact then there is no reason to try to persuade people.

Example of a non-debatable thesis statement:

This thesis statement is not debatable. First, the word pollution implies that something is bad or negative in some way. Furthermore, all studies agree that pollution is a problem; they simply disagree on the impact it will have or the scope of the problem. No one could reasonably argue that pollution is unambiguously good.

Example of a debatable thesis statement:

This is an example of a debatable thesis because reasonable people could disagree with it. Some people might think that this is how we should spend the nation's money. Others might feel that we should be spending more money on education. Still others could argue that corporations, not the government, should be paying to limit pollution.

Another example of a debatable thesis statement:

In this example there is also room for disagreement between rational individuals. Some citizens might think focusing on recycling programs rather than private automobiles is the most effective strategy.

The thesis needs to be narrow

Although the scope of your paper might seem overwhelming at the start, generally the narrower the thesis the more effective your argument will be. Your thesis or claim must be supported by evidence. The broader your claim is, the more evidence you will need to convince readers that your position is right.

Example of a thesis that is too broad:

There are several reasons this statement is too broad to argue. First, what is included in the category "drugs"? Is the author talking about illegal drug use, recreational drug use (which might include alcohol and cigarettes), or all uses of medication in general? Second, in what ways are drugs detrimental? Is drug use causing deaths (and is the author equating deaths from overdoses and deaths from drug related violence)? Is drug use changing the moral climate or causing the economy to decline? Finally, what does the author mean by "society"? Is the author referring only to America or to the global population? Does the author make any distinction between the effects on children and adults? There are just too many questions that the claim leaves open. The author could not cover all of the topics listed above, yet the generality of the claim leaves all of these possibilities open to debate.

Example of a narrow or focused thesis:

In this example the topic of drugs has been narrowed down to illegal drugs and the detriment has been narrowed down to gang violence. This is a much more manageable topic.

We could narrow each debatable thesis from the previous examples in the following way:

Narrowed debatable thesis 1:

This thesis narrows the scope of the argument by specifying not just the amount of money used but also how the money could actually help to control pollution.

Narrowed debatable thesis 2:

This thesis narrows the scope of the argument by specifying not just what the focus of a national anti-pollution campaign should be but also why this is the appropriate focus.

Qualifiers such as " typically ," " generally ," " usually ," or " on average " also help to limit the scope of your claim by allowing for the almost inevitable exception to the rule.

Types of claims

Claims typically fall into one of four categories. Thinking about how you want to approach your topic, or, in other words, what type of claim you want to make, is one way to focus your thesis on one particular aspect of your broader topic.

Claims of fact or definition: These claims argue about what the definition of something is or whether something is a settled fact. Example:

Claims of cause and effect: These claims argue that one person, thing, or event caused another thing or event to occur. Example:

Claims about value: These are claims made of what something is worth, whether we value it or not, how we would rate or categorize something. Example:

Claims about solutions or policies: These are claims that argue for or against a certain solution or policy approach to a problem. Example:

Which type of claim is right for your argument? Which type of thesis or claim you use for your argument will depend on your position and knowledge of the topic, your audience, and the context of your paper. You might want to think about where you imagine your audience to be on this topic and pinpoint where you think the biggest difference in viewpoints might be. Even if you start with one type of claim you probably will be using several within the paper. Regardless of the type of claim you choose to utilize it is key to identify the controversy or debate you are addressing and to define your position early on in the paper.

Top 6 Most Common Thesis Statement Mistakes

Writing a well-done thesis statement can often feel easier said than done. After all, this one sentence sets the tone for your entire paper and can make or break your assignment. To help with your next essay , we've put together a list of the most common thesis statement mistakes and tips to help you avoid them.

To avoid common errors, you first have to understand precisely what a thesis statement is and how to create a meaningful one.

What is a Thesis Statement?

Just in case you need a refresher, here's a quick review:

A thesis statement, as defined by Dictionary.com , is: “a short statement, usually one sentence, that summarizes the main point or claim of an essay, research paper, etc., and is developed, supported, and explained in the text by means of examples and evidence.”

A thesis statement introduces your essay's main idea in the first paragraph of your assignment. It is the guiding factor that controls and organizes all other thoughts in your research paper.

How Do I Write a Thesis Statement?

It can take a long time to master the art of crafting a thesis statement. Luckily, there are some tools to help.

A good place to start is by checking out a thesis statement template. This will help ensure that you're including everything you're supposed to.

Here's a quick example:

A thesis statement template can help you organize and develop your ideas to make your paper more clear and focused. Source: ChicagoNow.com

You can also use an online thesis generator to organize your main idea and evidence. You enter the basic information about your argument and topic, and it helps you create a solid thesis statement.

Using a thesis generator can help you organize your thoughts and arguments and turn them into a complete thesis statement.

It also helps to take time to explore some thesis statement examples (both good and bad) to clarify how to fix some of these common mistakes.

What are the Most Common Thesis Statement Mistakes?

Once you know the basics of how to write a thesis statement, there are certain mistakes to watch out for. Learning how to identify these common errors and understanding how to avoid them will help make your thesis statement a strong one.

1. The Statement is Unclear

Your reader needs to immediately understand your purpose. If it is vague or unclear, you've lost your audience from the start. Narrow down your focus and use straightforward language to state your main idea .

  • Example thesis: The food in America is gross, unhealthy, and expensive, so we probably shouldn't be eating any of it.
  • Improved thesis: Due to the obesity crisis in America, lawmakers should consider creating a plan to lower the prices of healthier foods so that everyone can afford to eat high-quality foods.

2. The Statement is Too Complicated

Making a statement that is too long or wordy generally confuses your reader. It also weakens the argument you are trying to make.

  • Example thesis: Many athletes, such as those who play in colleges or for organizations like the NCAA, do not make any money, which is devastating because they deserve to make a substantial amount of money due to their efforts on the court and on the field and due to the fact that colleges earn a profit off of the sports that these athletes play.
  • Improved thesis: NCAA athletes should receive compensation for their sports in college because they are generating revenue for universities and risking injury for themselves.

3. The Statement is Too Basic or Obvious

As you move up through school, your writing should mature as well. A successful thesis statement from junior high is not necessarily a strong thesis statement in high school or college. While being very basic and obvious in your younger writing might be fine, writing as an older student should be more precise and refined.

  • Example thesis: In this paper, I will be discussing the importance of eating a healthy breakfast every day.
  • Improved thesis: Eating a healthy breakfast is important to help your body function at its optimal level throughout the day.

4. The Statement has No Real Purpose

Your readers need to care about your topic in some way. Is this information helpful? Beneficial? Worth investigating? If not, choose a heartier topic that's worth discussing.

  • Example thesis: I think these blue socks are the prettiest ones in the drawer.
  • Improved thesis: Students should be allowed to express themselves as individuals by choosing any type of socks and shoes they want to wear to school.

5. The Statement Uses Poor Language Choices

Slang, abbreviations, and poor spelling have no place in a clear thesis statement. Use professional language to make your point.

  • Example thesis: The best comedians should make you LOL 24-7.
  • Improved thesis: To be a quality comedian, you must develop your craft in a way that inspires laughter and smiles at every performance.

6. The Statement Lacks Connection to the Rest of the Essay.

Even if you have a decent thesis statement, it will mean nothing if the rest of the essay strays from your main idea. Always connect your thoughts back to the thesis statement . The paper needs to be coherent and stay on target with your original argument.

Crafting a thorough thesis statement can feel like a difficult task, but it doesn't have to. If you are mindful of common mistakes that students make, you can avoid these errors and create a thesis statement that is clear, engaging, and purposeful.

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what's a bad thesis statement

Rams Write: Thesis Statements

  • Thesis Statements
  • Topic Sentences
  • Visualizing Revision
  • Emergency Revision Procedure Method
  • Active Voice v. Passive Voice
  • They're/their/there
  • Affect/Effect
  • Sentence Fragments
  • Apostrophes
  • Run-on Sentences
  • Comma Splices
  • Awkward Syntax: Subject-verb-object
  • Oxford Comma
  • Comma before "but"
  • Student Interns
  • Video Tutorials

Introduction

A good thesis statement should:.

  • Convey the topic and opinion of the essay, as well as the subjects and examples that will be discussed (see Jerz's Topic, Opinion, Blueprint model below)
  • Be approximately 1-2 sentences long, and included in the essay's introductory paragraph

Meme - Wrote a thesis statement, didn't lose focus on my topic

Meme Generator

What is a Blueprint?

A blueprint is simply a set of subtopics that you plan to discuss throughout your essay, likely the subjects of each individual paragraph. 

Here's a tip!

Although we start writing with a general idea of what our thesis will be, it's always helpful to draft the entire essay and then go back and revise your thesis to reflect how your argument really progressed. Revising your thesis after writing a first draft also helps you with your final revision. You will better identify "fluff," places where you go off-topic, as well as ideas that may need further clarification. 

How To Write a Killer Thesis Statement

Bad vs. Good Thesis Statements

Bad thesis statements have:.

  • Nothing to argue
  • No hint about where they’re headed
  • No focus, they’re too broad
  • A long list of information

Good Thesis Statements Have:

  • A clear point of view
  • A detailed blueprint about where the essay is headed
  • Clear and concise form

Ways To Improve

Your thesis takes a position that others might challenge

  • Your thesis statement is specific

If the reader can ask the questions, "So What?" "How?" or "Why?", then you might need to clarify your thesis.

Meme - Thesis vs. Statement

Example Thesis Statements

In his work “Plagiarism is Not a Big Moral Deal,” Fish discusses how plagiarism should be treated in an academic atmosphere, due to the fact that it is often rooted in misunderstanding, a lack of originality, and the exclusivity of academic circles.

This thesis has a topic and blueprint, but is missing an opinion.

In his work, “Plagiarism Is Not a Big Moral Deal,” Fish discusses how plagiarism should not be treated as a moral or philosophical issue, due to the fact that it is often rooted in misunderstanding of the complex rules, a lack of originality as a concept, and the exclusivity of academic circles.

Explanation

This thesis is better because it includes all of the following:

Topic : A discussion of how plagiarism should be treated in an academic atmosphere.

Opinion : Plagiarism is not an issue of morality but rather professionalism.

Blueprint : He argues that plagiarism is often caused by misunderstanding without malicious intent, lack of originality as a concept, and overly complicated rules and systems taught to a few in academic circles. 

Meme - One Does Not Simply Write A Thesis without topic opinion and blueprint

Common Mistakes

Common mistakes include:.

1. Lack of focus and specificity 

2. Jargon (word choice that is exclusive/ hard to understand)

3. Treating your thesis statement like a topic sentence

4. Not adequately representing your claim

Difference Between a Thesis and a Topic Sentence

Thesis statements are 1-2 sentences that assert your opinion and what will be said throughout the entire essay . 

Topic sentences introduce the discussion to follow in a specific paragrap h .  Each must be general enough to express the paragraph’s overall subject, but also specific enough that the reader knows where the paragraph is going. For more information, see Rams Write: Topic Sentences .

Thesis Sentence vs. Topic

Sparknotes: "Thesis Machine Strategy"

The “thesis machine”.

This is a technique my first writing professor taught me. It’s a reliable jumping off point for when you’re just trying to get a thesis down. The pattern’s simple—here’s an example:

Topic: Hufflepuffs

Topic + Position: Hufflepuffs make the best friends

Topic + Position + Rationale  (Think of this as the “because” step): Hufflepuffs make the best friends because they are accepting and loyal.

Topic + Position + Rationale + Qualification  (The “although” step): Although they are often overlooked and considered oddballs, Hufflepuffs make the best friends because of their deep-seated values of loyalty, dedication, and acceptance, all crucial traits in any friendship.

General Guideline for Theses

Jerz's Literary Weblog  offers general guidelines for brainstorming your thesis.

Jerz's Literary Weblog shows up general guidelines for brainstorming your thesis.

This page was created by/ MLA Citations

Kirsten LaCroix, Framingham State U, Class of 2022

Bri Hibbert, Framingham State U, Class of 2022

Spring 2019

Julia Coolidge, Framingham State U, Class of 2022 

Sarah Wheeler, Framingham State U, Class of 2021

Works Cited

"Developing Your Thesis."  Odegaard Writing and Research Center,  2018,  depts.washington.edu/owrc/Handouts/Developing%20Your%20Thesis.pdf .

Harrogate, Kurt. "How to Write a Killer Thesis Statement." Sparknotes Blog , 17 March 2017,  www.sparknotes.com/blog/2017/03/17/how-to-write-a-killer-thesis-statement/ . 

"How to Write a Killer Thesis Statement by Shmoop."  Youtube,  uploaded by Shmoop, 6 September 2013,  www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wxE8R_x5I0 . 

Jerz, Dennis G. and Jordan, Nicci. "Blueprinting: Using the Thesis Paragraph to Plan Your Essay."  Jerz’s Literacy Weblog,  10 June 2015,  jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/academic1/blueprinting-using-the-thesis-paragraph-to-plan-your-essay/ . 

Meme Generator: Create Your Own Meme.  Meme Generator, 2019,  memegenerator.net . 

"Thesis Statements." The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill,  2018,  writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/thesis-statements/ .

"Thesis Statement vs. Topic Sentence by Shmoop."  YouTube,  uploaded by Shmoop, 16 July 2013,  www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=236&v=Nx2-PcBzZjo . 

"Writing Tips: Thesis Statements."  University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Center for Writing Students,  2013,  www.cws.illinois.edu/workshop/writers/tips/thesis/ .

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Compare & contrast essay structure, how to assess the strength or weakness of a thesis statement, how to write an essay for the ged test.

  • How to Develop and Write a Paragraph
  • How to Write a Good Argumentative Essay Introduction

In essays and research papers, your introduction should contain a thesis statement. Your thesis will express the main idea of your paper and share your position on the topic. A thesis statement will drive your essay, and this helps keep your points on track. Not all thesis statements have the same impact, however. Knowing what makes a good thesis and how to form one will help you write an effective paper.

General vs. Specific

A good thesis statement will not contain specific details, but it should not feel too general either. Finding a balance may seem tricky, but with some refining, your thesis will come together. In looking at a general thesis statement, you need to give the reader enough information to see the potential argument on the topic. For example, you do not want to say, “People go hungry without food to eat.” This is not a thesis, but rather a general fact that does not help the reader understand the position you will take on the topic. When looking at specifics, you need to make an argument for your topic without giving the supporting arguments or details that you will use in the body of your paragraph. An overly specific thesis may give data or other research instead of giving your take on the subject.

You need to make sure the reader understands your thesis statement and which side of the argument you will prove in the body of your essay. If you vacillate between one side of the argument and the other in your thesis, this will confuse your reader. Make clear, well-thought out statements that identify your perspective on the topic. To get to that level of clarity, particularly if you can see both sides of the argument, you may need to do more research. Another option might include taking a stand on the side of the topic you agree with most but include the information for the other viewpoints as a part of your paper. Whatever you choose, make sure your reader can identify both the information and the point you will prove.

If you struggle with starting a thesis statement, you may want to begin by answering two questions and then build your thesis from this. First, write down a single sentence that states the topic of your paper. Second, write down what the body of your paper will prove or argue. Finally, combine those statements and revise until the sentence not only makes sense but gives a strong position for your paper.

When considering a thesis statement, you may want to evaluate its strength. Ask yourself if someone could argue an opposing viewpoint based on your thesis. This may help you easily identify whether you have the basis for a good thesis statement.

Seeing examples of both good and bad thesis statements may help you craft a strong statement. As a bad example, you might see, “I will show the negative effects of not studying for a test.” This statement does not give the reader information or share the writer’s position on the topic. A better example may look like this: “Poor study habits result in lower grade point averages, and this can lead to fewer academic opportunities and career options for students.” In this example, you could argue an alternate point of view. As well, the reader knows your position on the topic, and she will know what to expect throughout your essay.

  • The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill: Thesis Statements

Kate Beck started writing for online publications in 2005. She worked as a certified ophthalmic technician for 10 years before returning to school to earn a Masters of Fine Arts degree in writing. Beck is currently putting the finishing touches on a novel.

Guidelines for Researching & Writing a Comparative Paper

Importance of doing an outline prior to writing, how to write a pros & cons essay, how to write characterization papers, what are the main points used to write a comparison essay, teacher tips: how to write thesis statements for high school papers, rules for thesis statements, how to write a persuasive essay, how to write a college critical thinking essay, most popular.

  • 1 Guidelines for Researching & Writing a Comparative Paper
  • 2 Importance of Doing an Outline Prior to Writing
  • 3 How to Write a Pros & Cons Essay
  • 4 How to Write Characterization Papers
  • Information Timeline
  • Minutes to Hours After
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  • ...And More Years
  • Research Cycle
  • Quick Check
  • Primary Sources
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  • Check Your Understanding
  • Humanities vs. Sciences
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  • So Where Do You Start Researching?
  • Step 1: Analyzing the Assignment (A)
  • Step 1: Analyzing the Assignment (B)
  • Step 1: Analyzing the Assignment (C)
  • Step 2: Identifying a Topic (A)
  • Step 2: Identifying a Topic (B)
  • Step 3: Writing a Thesis Statement (A)
  • Video: Writing an Effective Thesis Statement
  • Avoiding Poor Thesis Statements (A)
  • Avoiding Poor Thesis Statements (B)
  • Avoiding Poor Thesis Statements (C)
  • Forming Your Research Question
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Avoiding Poor Thesis Statements

This thesis statement is to vague and broad

It is important not only to have a thesis statement, but to have a good one.  An inadequate thesis statement is almost as bad as not having one at all. Below and on the next few pages are examples of thesis statements you'll want to avoid -- because they'll lead to weak papers with poor grades:

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25 Thesis Statement Examples

thesis statement examples and definition, explained below

A thesis statement is needed in an essay or dissertation . There are multiple types of thesis statements – but generally we can divide them into expository and argumentative. An expository statement is a statement of fact (common in expository essays and process essays) while an argumentative statement is a statement of opinion (common in argumentative essays and dissertations). Below are examples of each.

Strong Thesis Statement Examples

school uniforms and dress codes, explained below

1. School Uniforms

“Mandatory school uniforms should be implemented in educational institutions as they promote a sense of equality, reduce distractions, and foster a focused and professional learning environment.”

Best For: Argumentative Essay or Debate

Read More: School Uniforms Pros and Cons

nature vs nurture examples and definition

2. Nature vs Nurture

“This essay will explore how both genetic inheritance and environmental factors equally contribute to shaping human behavior and personality.”

Best For: Compare and Contrast Essay

Read More: Nature vs Nurture Debate

American Dream Examples Definition

3. American Dream

“The American Dream, a symbol of opportunity and success, is increasingly elusive in today’s socio-economic landscape, revealing deeper inequalities in society.”

Best For: Persuasive Essay

Read More: What is the American Dream?

social media pros and cons

4. Social Media

“Social media has revolutionized communication and societal interactions, but it also presents significant challenges related to privacy, mental health, and misinformation.”

Best For: Expository Essay

Read More: The Pros and Cons of Social Media

types of globalization, explained below

5. Globalization

“Globalization has created a world more interconnected than ever before, yet it also amplifies economic disparities and cultural homogenization.”

Read More: Globalization Pros and Cons

urbanization example and definition

6. Urbanization

“Urbanization drives economic growth and social development, but it also poses unique challenges in sustainability and quality of life.”

Read More: Learn about Urbanization

immigration pros and cons, explained below

7. Immigration

“Immigration enriches receiving countries culturally and economically, outweighing any perceived social or economic burdens.”

Read More: Immigration Pros and Cons

cultural identity examples and definition, explained below

8. Cultural Identity

“In a globalized world, maintaining distinct cultural identities is crucial for preserving cultural diversity and fostering global understanding, despite the challenges of assimilation and homogenization.”

Best For: Argumentative Essay

Read More: Learn about Cultural Identity

technology examples and definition explained below

9. Technology

“Medical technologies in care institutions in Toronto has increased subjcetive outcomes for patients with chronic pain.”

Best For: Research Paper

capitalism examples and definition

10. Capitalism vs Socialism

“The debate between capitalism and socialism centers on balancing economic freedom and inequality, each presenting distinct approaches to resource distribution and social welfare.”

cultural heritage examples and definition

11. Cultural Heritage

“The preservation of cultural heritage is essential, not only for cultural identity but also for educating future generations, outweighing the arguments for modernization and commercialization.”

pseudoscience examples and definition, explained below

12. Pseudoscience

“Pseudoscience, characterized by a lack of empirical support, continues to influence public perception and decision-making, often at the expense of scientific credibility.”

Read More: Examples of Pseudoscience

free will examples and definition, explained below

13. Free Will

“The concept of free will is largely an illusion, with human behavior and decisions predominantly determined by biological and environmental factors.”

Read More: Do we have Free Will?

gender roles examples and definition, explained below

14. Gender Roles

“Traditional gender roles are outdated and harmful, restricting individual freedoms and perpetuating gender inequalities in modern society.”

Read More: What are Traditional Gender Roles?

work-life balance examples and definition, explained below

15. Work-Life Ballance

“The trend to online and distance work in the 2020s led to improved subjective feelings of work-life balance but simultaneously increased self-reported loneliness.”

Read More: Work-Life Balance Examples

universal healthcare pros and cons

16. Universal Healthcare

“Universal healthcare is a fundamental human right and the most effective system for ensuring health equity and societal well-being, outweighing concerns about government involvement and costs.”

Read More: The Pros and Cons of Universal Healthcare

raising minimum wage pros and cons

17. Minimum Wage

“The implementation of a fair minimum wage is vital for reducing economic inequality, yet it is often contentious due to its potential impact on businesses and employment rates.”

Read More: The Pros and Cons of Raising the Minimum Wage

homework pros and cons

18. Homework

“The homework provided throughout this semester has enabled me to achieve greater self-reflection, identify gaps in my knowledge, and reinforce those gaps through spaced repetition.”

Best For: Reflective Essay

Read More: Reasons Homework Should be Banned

charter schools vs public schools, explained below

19. Charter Schools

“Charter schools offer alternatives to traditional public education, promising innovation and choice but also raising questions about accountability and educational equity.”

Read More: The Pros and Cons of Charter Schools

internet pros and cons

20. Effects of the Internet

“The Internet has drastically reshaped human communication, access to information, and societal dynamics, generally with a net positive effect on society.”

Read More: The Pros and Cons of the Internet

affirmative action example and definition, explained below

21. Affirmative Action

“Affirmative action is essential for rectifying historical injustices and achieving true meritocracy in education and employment, contrary to claims of reverse discrimination.”

Best For: Essay

Read More: Affirmative Action Pros and Cons

soft skills examples and definition, explained below

22. Soft Skills

“Soft skills, such as communication and empathy, are increasingly recognized as essential for success in the modern workforce, and therefore should be a strong focus at school and university level.”

Read More: Soft Skills Examples

moral panic definition examples

23. Moral Panic

“Moral panic, often fueled by media and cultural anxieties, can lead to exaggerated societal responses that sometimes overlook rational analysis and evidence.”

Read More: Moral Panic Examples

freedom of the press example and definition, explained below

24. Freedom of the Press

“Freedom of the press is critical for democracy and informed citizenship, yet it faces challenges from censorship, media bias, and the proliferation of misinformation.”

Read More: Freedom of the Press Examples

mass media examples definition

25. Mass Media

“Mass media shapes public opinion and cultural norms, but its concentration of ownership and commercial interests raise concerns about bias and the quality of information.”

Best For: Critical Analysis

Read More: Mass Media Examples

Checklist: How to use your Thesis Statement

✅ Position: If your statement is for an argumentative or persuasive essay, or a dissertation, ensure it takes a clear stance on the topic. ✅ Specificity: It addresses a specific aspect of the topic, providing focus for the essay. ✅ Conciseness: Typically, a thesis statement is one to two sentences long. It should be concise, clear, and easily identifiable. ✅ Direction: The thesis statement guides the direction of the essay, providing a roadmap for the argument, narrative, or explanation. ✅ Evidence-based: While the thesis statement itself doesn’t include evidence, it sets up an argument that can be supported with evidence in the body of the essay. ✅ Placement: Generally, the thesis statement is placed at the end of the introduction of an essay.

Try These AI Prompts – Thesis Statement Generator!

One way to brainstorm thesis statements is to get AI to brainstorm some for you! Try this AI prompt:

💡 AI PROMPT FOR EXPOSITORY THESIS STATEMENT I am writing an essay on [TOPIC] and these are the instructions my teacher gave me: [INSTUCTIONS]. I want you to create an expository thesis statement that doesn’t argue a position, but demonstrates depth of knowledge about the topic.

💡 AI PROMPT FOR ARGUMENTATIVE THESIS STATEMENT I am writing an essay on [TOPIC] and these are the instructions my teacher gave me: [INSTRUCTIONS]. I want you to create an argumentative thesis statement that clearly takes a position on this issue.

💡 AI PROMPT FOR COMPARE AND CONTRAST THESIS STATEMENT I am writing a compare and contrast essay that compares [Concept 1] and [Concept2]. Give me 5 potential single-sentence thesis statements that remain objective.

Chris

Chris Drew (PhD)

Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]

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  • Chris Drew (PhD) https://helpfulprofessor.com/author/chris-drew-phd/ Social-Emotional Learning (Definition, Examples, Pros & Cons)
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Eat, Sleep, Wander

15 Examples of Bad Thesis Statements

When writing an essay, coming up with a strong thesis statement is crucial. A good thesis statement is concise, clear, and engaging and presents a strong argument to your readers. Conversely, a bad thesis statement is broad, unfocused, and unprovocative. It is important to be able to recognize a bad thesis statement so that you can avoid making the same mistakes in your own work. This article will provide 15 examples of bad thesis statements to serve as a warning. By the end, readers should be well-equipped to identify and avoid bad thesis statements.

Examples of bad thesis statements

Examples of bad thesis statements

“Trees provide oxygen.”

This thesis statement is ultimately too broad and therefore fails to present a unique argument. It does not provide adequate focus for the essay and does not present an interesting point for readers.

“Sports are important for all students in high school.”

This thesis statement fails to provide an adequate argument because it is too general. It does not address any particular school, students, or reasons why sports may be important.

“Humans should be able to choose the gender of their children.”

This thesis statement does not provide adequate focus for the essay. It does not present a clear stance for readers and does not take into account the ethical and moral implications of this sentiment.

“Too much technology is bad for our health.”

This thesis statement is overly broad and does not present a clear stance. It does not clearly determine which technologies are being referenced and does not demonstrate why they are bad for our health.

“Violence in the media causes violence in society.”

This thesis statement is overly broad and does not provide an adequate argument. It does not determine which media are being referenced and does not present evidence to support its claim.

“Video games make people anti-social.”

This thesis statement is overly broad and fails to provide evidence to support its claim. It does not reference any particular video games, nor does it discuss how video games can affect people differently.

“The government should invest more money in public transportation.”

This thesis statement fails to provide an adequate argument because it is too general. It does not discuss why this is important or how it would benefit society.

“ Schools should not allow cell phones on campus.”

This thesis statement is overly broad and fails to provide evidence to support its claim. It does not clarify which schools are being referenced, nor does it discuss all the potential benefits of cell phones on campus, such as emergency situations.

More examples of bad thesis statements on the next page…

what's a bad thesis statement

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25 Thesis Statement Examples That Will Make Writing a Breeze

JBirdwellBranson

Understanding what makes a good thesis statement is one of the major keys to writing a great research paper or argumentative essay. The thesis statement is where you make a claim that will guide you through your entire paper. If you find yourself struggling to make sense of your paper or your topic, then it's likely due to a weak thesis statement.

Let's take a minute to first understand what makes a solid thesis statement, and what key components you need to write one of your own.

Perfecting Your Thesis Statement

A thesis statement always goes at the beginning of the paper. It will typically be in the first couple of paragraphs of the paper so that it can introduce the body paragraphs, which are the supporting evidence for your thesis statement.

Your thesis statement should clearly identify an argument. You need to have a statement that is not only easy to understand, but one that is debatable. What that means is that you can't just put any statement of fact and have it be your thesis. For example, everyone knows that puppies are cute . An ineffective thesis statement would be, "Puppies are adorable and everyone knows it." This isn't really something that's a debatable topic.

Something that would be more debatable would be, "A puppy's cuteness is derived from its floppy ears, small body, and playfulness." These are three things that can be debated on. Some people might think that the cutest thing about puppies is the fact that they follow you around or that they're really soft and fuzzy.

All cuteness aside, you want to make sure that your thesis statement is not only debatable, but that it also actually thoroughly answers the research question that was posed. You always want to make sure that your evidence is supporting a claim that you made (and not the other way around). This is why it's crucial to read and research about a topic first and come to a conclusion later. If you try to get your research to fit your thesis statement, then it may not work out as neatly as you think. As you learn more, you discover more (and the outcome may not be what you originally thought).

Additionally, your thesis statement shouldn't be too big or too grand. It'll be hard to cover everything in a thesis statement like, "The federal government should act now on climate change." The topic is just too large to actually say something new and meaningful. Instead, a more effective thesis statement might be, "Local governments can combat climate change by providing citizens with larger recycling bins and offering local classes about composting and conservation." This is easier to work with because it's a smaller idea, but you can also discuss the overall topic that you might be interested in, which is climate change.

So, now that we know what makes a good, solid thesis statement, you can start to write your own. If you find that you're getting stuck or you are the type of person who needs to look at examples before you start something, then check out our list of thesis statement examples below.

Thesis statement examples

A quick note that these thesis statements have not been fully researched. These are merely examples to show you what a thesis statement might look like and how you can implement your own ideas into one that you think of independently. As such, you should not use these thesis statements for your own research paper purposes. They are meant to be used as examples only.

  • Vaccinations Because many children are unable to vaccinate due to illness, we must require that all healthy and able children be vaccinated in order to have herd immunity.
  • Educational Resources for Low-Income Students Schools should provide educational resources for low-income students during the summers so that they don't forget what they've learned throughout the school year.
  • School Uniforms School uniforms may be an upfront cost for families, but they eradicate the visual differences in income between students and provide a more egalitarian atmosphere at school.
  • Populism The rise in populism on the 2016 political stage was in reaction to increasing globalization, the decline of manufacturing jobs, and the Syrian refugee crisis.
  • Public Libraries Libraries are essential resources for communities and should be funded more heavily by local municipalities.
  • Cyber Bullying With more and more teens using smartphones and social media, cyber bullying is on the rise. Cyber bullying puts a lot of stress on many teens, and can cause depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. Parents should limit the usage of smart phones, monitor their children's online activity, and report any cyber bullying to school officials in order to combat this problem.
  • Medical Marijuana for Veterans Studies have shown that the use of medicinal marijuana has been helpful to veterans who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Medicinal marijuana prescriptions should be legal in all states and provided to these veterans. Additional medical or therapy services should also be researched and implemented in order to help them re-integrate back into civilian life.
  • Work-Life Balance Corporations should provide more work from home opportunities and six-hour workdays so that office workers have a better work-life balance and are more likely to be productive when they are in the office.
  • Teaching Youths about Consensual Sex Although sex education that includes a discussion of consensual sex would likely lead to less sexual assault, parents need to teach their children the meaning of consent from a young age with age appropriate lessons.
  • Whether or Not to Attend University A degree from a university provides invaluable lessons on life and a future career, but not every high school student should be encouraged to attend a university directly after graduation. Some students may benefit from a trade school or a "gap year" where they can think more intensely about what it is they want to do for a career and how they can accomplish this.
  • Studying Abroad Studying abroad is one of the most culturally valuable experiences you can have in college. It is the only way to get completely immersed in another language and learn how other cultures and countries are different from your own.
  • Women's Body Image Magazines have done a lot in the last five years to include a more diverse group of models, but there is still a long way to go to promote a healthy woman's body image collectively as a culture.
  • Cigarette Tax Heavily taxing and increasing the price of cigarettes is essentially a tax on the poorest Americans, and it doesn't deter them from purchasing. Instead, the state and federal governments should target those economically disenfranchised with early education about the dangers of smoking.
  • Veganism A vegan diet, while a healthy and ethical way to consume food, indicates a position of privilege. It also limits you to other cultural food experiences if you travel around the world.
  • University Athletes Should be Compensated University athletes should be compensated for their service to the university, as it is difficult for these students to procure and hold a job with busy academic and athletic schedules. Many student athletes on scholarship also come from low-income neighborhoods and it is a struggle to make ends meet when they are participating in athletics.
  • Women in the Workforce Sheryl Sandberg makes a lot of interesting points in her best-selling book, Lean In , but she only addressed the very privileged working woman and failed to speak to those in lower-skilled, lower-wage jobs.
  • Assisted Suicide Assisted suicide should be legal and doctors should have the ability to make sure their patients have the end-of-life care that they want to receive.
  • Celebrity and Political Activism Although Taylor Swift's lyrics are indicative of a feminist perspective, she should be more politically active and vocal to use her position of power for the betterment of society.
  • The Civil War The insistence from many Southerners that the South seceded from the Union for states' rights versus the fact that they seceded for the purposes of continuing slavery is a harmful myth that still affects race relations today.
  • Blue Collar Workers Coal miners and other blue-collar workers whose jobs are slowly disappearing from the workforce should be re-trained in jobs in the technology sector or in renewable energy. A program to re-train these workers would not only improve local economies where jobs have been displaced, but would also lead to lower unemployment nationally.
  • Diversity in the Workforce Having a diverse group of people in an office setting leads to richer ideas, more cooperation, and more empathy between people with different skin colors or backgrounds.
  • Re-Imagining the Nuclear Family The nuclear family was traditionally defined as one mother, one father, and 2.5 children. This outdated depiction of family life doesn't quite fit with modern society. The definition of normal family life shouldn't be limited to two-parent households.
  • Digital Literacy Skills With more information readily available than ever before, it's crucial that students are prepared to examine the material they're reading and determine whether or not it's a good source or if it has misleading information. Teaching students digital literacy and helping them to understand the difference between opinion or propaganda from legitimate, real information is integral.
  • Beauty Pageants Beauty pageants are presented with the angle that they empower women. However, putting women in a swimsuit on a stage while simultaneously judging them on how well they answer an impossible question in a short period of time is cruel and purely for the amusement of men. Therefore, we should stop televising beauty pageants.
  • Supporting More Women to Run for a Political Position In order to get more women into political positions, more women must run for office. There must be a grassroots effort to educate women on how to run for office, who among them should run, and support for a future candidate for getting started on a political career.

Still stuck? Need some help with your thesis statement?

If you are still uncertain about how to write a thesis statement or what a good thesis statement is, be sure to consult with your teacher or professor to make sure you're on the right track. It's always a good idea to check in and make sure that your thesis statement is making a solid argument and that it can be supported by your research.

After you're done writing, it's important to have someone take a second look at your paper so that you can ensure there are no mistakes or errors. It's difficult to spot your own mistakes, which is why it's always recommended to have someone help you with the revision process, whether that's a teacher, the writing center at school, or a professional editor such as one from ServiceScape .

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Social media & society thesis statement examples.

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Lesley J. Vos

Social Media & Society is a captivating and relevant research area, encompassing various aspects from interpersonal relations to global communication dynamics. A well-defined thesis statement is pivotal for delineating your research parameters and objectives in this expansive field. Below, you’ll find insightful examples of both good and bad thesis statements on Social Media & Society, accompanied by comprehensive explanations.

Good Thesis Statement Examples

Good: “This thesis evaluates the correlation between prolonged social media usage and increased levels of anxiety and depression among teenagers in the United States.” Bad: “Social media affects teenagers’ mental health.”

The good statement presents a specific correlation, target demographic (teenagers in the U.S.), and identified outcomes (anxiety and depression levels). The bad example, while correct, is vague and lacks defined variables and demographic focus.

Good: “The proliferation of fake news on social media platforms has discernibly influenced political elections, swaying public opinion and voter behavior.” Bad: “Fake news on social media impacts elections.”

The good statement provides a clear, arguable claim regarding fake news, public opinion, and voter behavior on social media. Conversely, the bad example states a general fact without depth or a specific area of impact.

Good: “Implementing educational programs that promote critical digital literacy can mitigate the negative effects of cyberbullying among middle school students.” Bad: “Education can help reduce cyberbullying.”

The good example is researchable and offers specific solutions (critical digital literacy programs), target demographic (middle school students), and defined problem (cyberbullying). The bad statement lacks detail, specific solutions, and target groups.

Bad Thesis Statement Examples

Overly Broad: “Social media has changed the way people communicate.”

Although true, this statement is excessively general and does not specify which aspect of communication or which demographic is being explored.

Lack of Clear Argument: “Social media is popular among young people.”

While factual, this statement lacks a clear argument or specific research focus, rendering it ineffective as a research guide.

Unmeasurable and Unresearchable: “Life is unimaginable without social media today.”

Although many might agree, this statement is not easily measurable or researchable and does not provide clear directions for academic exploration.

Crafting a compelling thesis statement for research in social media and society is crucial for delineating your investigation and elucidating your academic endeavor’s aims and scope. A good thesis statement should be specific, debatable, and researchable, acting as a sturdy foundation for scholarly inquiry. In contrast, a bad thesis statement is often too general, lacks a clear argument, and is not conducive to empirical exploration. The examples and analyses provided in this guide furnish students with valuable insights for developing thesis statements that are academically rigorous and insightful for exploring the intricate relationship between social media and society.

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A Recent Timeline of the Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar Beef

Drake; Kendrick Lamar

T he long-simmering beef between Kendrick Lamar and Drake has exploded in recent days as the rappers repeatedly lobbed insults and allegations about one another’s families and personal lives in a series of escalating diss tracks that has also invoked other hip-hop greats, including Metro Boomin and DJ Mustard.

The feud, in which each rapper has made numerous unverified allegations, prompted Drake to respond in a song on Sunday that he’s “disgusted” by Lamar’s claims about him, including that he has a secret child and engages in sex with underage girls, which he denies.

In “The Heart Part 6”—a title that references Lamar’s “The Heart” song series—Drake said he would have “been arrested” were there any truth to the allegations about him having inappropriate relationships with underage girls. The 37-year-old Canadian rapper, who has a 6-year-old son, also suggested that he leaked false information about having a daughter to Lamar, singing: “We plotted for a week and then we fed you the information/ A daughter that’s eleven years old, I bet he takes it.”

The fight between the two men reached its climax (at least, to date) over the weekend, resulting in the release of multiple songs by and featuring the two artists. While their tense relationship dates back years, the origins of this most recent dispute can be traced to Drake’s song “First Person Shooter,” which was released as part of his album, For All the Dogs, last October. During that track, featured guest J. Cole called himself, Drake, and Lamar the “big three.” When Lamar was featured on Future’s “Like That” on March 22, he ripped into Cole and Drake for suggesting they are on the same level.

Read More: Why Drake Had to Take Down His Song That Featured AI-Tupac Vocals

The ensuing drama has brought forward serious, unverified claims, and shows no signs of slowing down. It is the latest chapter in a long tradition of rap feuds that has seen rivalries between the likes of Jay-Z and Nas and Tupac and Biggie. 

Here’s a recent timeline of the beef between Drake and Kendrick Lamar. 

The backstory and "First Person Shooter”

Both rappers achieved mainstream fame at around the same time in the early 2010s. They’ve worked together in the past; on Drake’s 2011 album, Take Care , Lamar is featured on an interlude, and Lamar had Drake on his second studio album, 2012’s Good Kid, M.A.A.D City , on the song “Poetic Justice.” 

The first sign of trouble seems to have cropped up around 2013, when Lamar appeared on Big Sean’s “Control.” Lamar called out Drake and several other rappers on the song, but Drake didn’t engage at first, suggesting in interviews at the time that he was not going to take the bait.

Instead, Drake's beef with Meek Mill in 2015 consumed much of his time, and later, in 2018, he got into it with Pusha T, who revealed that Drake was hiding a secret baby in the song “The Story of Adidon”—which Drake later admitted was true.

It wasn’t until “First Person Shooter” came out last year that Drake reopened the conflict with Lamar, intentionally or not, after Cole referred to himself, Drake, and Lamar as the “Big Three.” 

Kendrick’s featured verse on “Like That” 

Lamar, who won the Pulitzer Prize in 2018 for his album DAMN. , took offense to the idea that he and Drake are on the same skill level. The standout line in Future’s song “Like That,” which is produced by Metro Boomin, is, “Motherf-ck the big three, it’s just big me.” 

He also refers to Drake’s most recent album, For All The Dogs , rapping, “‘Fore all your dogs gettin' buried/ That's a K with all these nines, he gon' see Pet Sematary .”

J. Cole enters the beef with “7-Minute Drill,” but quickly bows out

Shortly after “Like That” came out, Cole released a surprise album called Might Delete Later, and one of the songs, “7 Minute Drill,” includes a diss directed at Lamar. 

In it, he raps, “Your first sh-t was classic, your last sh-t was tragic/ Your second sh-t put n----s to sleep, but they gassed it/ Your third sh-t was massive, and that was your prime,” a line that many listeners took issue with because Cole suggests that To Pimp a Butterfly (an album widely regarded as Lamar’s best) was boring. He says in the song that people don’t care about Lamar, rapping, “He averagin’ one hard verse like every thirty months or somethin’/ If he wasn’t dissin’, then we wouldn’t be discussin’ him.”

However, Cole then decided to distance himself from the beef. He later said that the song “didn’t sit right with his spirit” and removed it from streaming services on April 12, saying his actions are some of the “lamest, goofiest sh-t” he’s participated in.

Drake tells Lamar he needs to do some “Push Ups”

Rap fans waited with bated breath for Drake’s response, and he returned to the beef with not one song, but two, “Push Ups” and “Taylor Made Freestyle,” released on April 19. The Toronto rapper attempts to put Lamar in his place, calling him a “pipsqueak” and rapping, “How the f-ck you big steppin’ with a size-seven men’s on?” Drake also attempts to make fun of Lamar for doing features on pop songs. “Maroon 5 need a verse, you better make it witty/ Then we need a verse for the Swifties," he raps on “Push Ups,” referring to the 2015 remix of Swift’s “Bad Blood” and “Don’t Wanna Know” with Maroon 5 the following year. 

But Lamar isn’t the only person called out on this record. Drake also dissed Future, The Weeknd, Rick Ross, NBA player Ja Morant, Metro Boomin, and Cole on the song.

“Taylor Made Freestyle,” AI Tupac and Snoop Dogg

Following “Push Ups,” Drake briefly released “Taylor Made Freestyle,” sharing the song in a now-deleted Instagram post on April 19 with the caption: “While we wait on you, I guess.” In the song, Drake alleged Lamar did not release a response to his diss track because Taylor Swift had just put out her latest album The Tortured Poets Department . “Now we gotta wait a f-cking week 'cause Taylor Swift is your new top, and if you boutta drop, she gotta approve,” rapped Drake.

Read More: How AI is Wreaking Havoc on the Fanbases of Taylor Swift, Drake, and Other Pop Stars

But the track was short-lived after Drake was served a cease-and-desist letter from Tupac Shakur’s estate for using AI-generated vocals from the rap legend, who died in 1996. Drake was then forced to remove “Taylor Made Freestyle” from all public platforms. The estate said they would have never approved of using Shakur’s voice for the track. 

The song also featured AI vocals from Snoop Dogg, who joked about it on Instagram.

“6:16 in LA” and the multiple meanings behind the title

Lamar dropped a second song in the same week he released “Euphoria,” with multiple possible meanings behind the cryptic title. He released “6:16 in LA” as an Instagram Reel on his page on Friday. The cover art for the song features a single black glove, seemingly a nod to the O.J. Simpson trial —which began on June 16, 1995. Tupac’s birthday is also on June 16, as is Father’s Day this year. It's also the day the television show Euphoria dropped its first episode. There is also a Bible verse, Corinthians 6:16, that could be read as a dig at Drake’s alleged taste in women: “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.’”

One of the most surprising aspects about the song was the inclusion of Jack Antonoff’s name on the producer credits. The Bleachers frontman is known for working closely with Taylor Swift and hasn’t previously been publicly involved in this rap feud. Lamar digs further into Drake to suggest that the Toronto rapper might have moles on his team, feeding him information.

“Family Matters”

Drake responded to Lamar by questioning the true father of Lamar’s child with fiancé Whitney Alford, and possibly alleging that Lamar is unfaithful and physically abusive in his current relationship in “Family Matters.” “You the Black messiah wifin' up a mixed queen. And hit vanilla cream to help out with your self-esteem,” Drake raps on the track released on May 3. (Lamar has not directly addressed these claims, although he did say in his response track “Meet the Grahams,” “This supposed to be a good exhibition within the game/ But you fucked up the moment you called out my family's name/ Why you had to stoop so low to discredit some decent people?”) 

Later in that verse, Drake specifically names Dave Free, a record executive who works as Lamar’s manager, saying, “I heard that one of 'em little kids might be Dave Free.” Drake also called Lamar and his body of work, which often addresses racism, inauthentic, saying, “Always rappin’ like you ‘bout to get the slaves freed/ You justin actin’ like an activist, it’s make-believe.” 

The music video shows the destruction of a van used in the 2012 album cover of Lamar’s Good Kid, M.A.A.D City . As of Monday morning, the track is #1 on “trending for music ” on YouTube.

“Meet the Grahams”

Less than an hour after Drake released “Family Matters,” Lamar put out “Meet the Grahams.” The track is arguably the most aggressive of songs released in the past few months, and starts with Lamar apologizing to Drake’s son for having him as a father. Lamar then goes on to claim without evidence that Drake takes Ozempic, and used photos of medication with Drake’s legal name, Audrey Drake Graham, on it, as the cover art for the song. (The images have not been verified as legitimate.) He alludes to gossip that Drake has had a Brazilian butt lift (a rumor—which Drake has not directly responded to—that prompted Rick Ross to coin the nickname “BBL Drizzy”), and even mentions the way that Drake hid his son from the public eye. “Don't be ashamed 'bout who you wit', that's how he treat your moms. Don't have a kid to hide, a kid to hide again,” Lamar raps.

In the second verse, Lamar makes severe implications about Drake by comparing him to Hollywood sex offender Harvey Weinstein, saying, “Him and Weinstein should get fucked up in a cell for the rest they life.” (Weinstein’s 2020 rape conviction was recently overturned in New York, which has opened a new chapter in his case.)

Lamar dedicates the third verse to Drake’s daughter, claiming that Drake is “not active” in her life and calling him a “narcissist, misogynist.” Drake denied claims he has a daughter on his Instagram story on Saturday. 

“Not Like Us”

Lamar doubled down on his allegations against Drake, releasing another four-and-a-half-minute track not even a full 24 hours later on Saturday evening. The cover art is allegedly a photo of Drake’s mansion in Toronto with red markers that seem similar to the ones used to mark homes where sex offenders reside. “Say, Drake, I hear you like 'em young,” Lamar rapped. 

He also says that Drake is not a “colleague” but a “colonizer.”

Lamar also called out Drake for using Tupac’s AI voice: “You think the Bay gon' let you disrespect Pac, n---a? I think that Oakland show gon' be your last stop.”

Metro Boomin’s “BBL Drizzy” 

Metro Boomin—one of the producers on “Like That”—put his foot in the game when he shared a post on X about a “BBL Drizzy Beat Giveaway” on May 5. The rapper encouraged fans to rap over the beat, which looks to be a sample of a parody song written by comedian and AI storyteller King Willonious, according to Complex . 

Drake mentioned Metro Boomin by his legal name in “Family Matters,” calling him “lame” and also alleging that he influenced disagreements between Drake and Future. 

Drake commented on an Instagram post sharing one of Metro Boomin’s tweets about him writing , “you just cheffed a beat about my a-s?”

“The Heart Part 6”

The most recent response to the beef came on Sunday night, when Drake released “The Heart Part 6.” In a post to X , he wrote, “And we know you’re dropping [six] minutes after, so instead of posting my address, you have a lot to address.” He denies the allegations that Lamar lobbed at him, saying he purposefully fed Lamar fake information to see if he’d fall for it and tells him that he should get better at fact-checking. Drake called this beef a “good exercise” and laughed it off, suggesting that Lamar would be a “worthy competitor if [he] was really a predator.”

Drake also directly mentioned Stranger Things actor Millie Bobby Brown, saying that he “Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager.” This marks at least the second time Drake has responded to online criticism about his friendship with the actress, whom he first met when she was a young teen . Drake previously addressed comments about her in his song “Another Late Night.”

The Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar beef seems to have no end in sight as the two continue to trade disses with ever-increasing severity in the allegations made towards each other.

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Why the speech by Kansas City Chiefs kicker was embraced at Benedictine College’s commencement

The Benedictine College sign is seen Wednesday, May 15, 2024, in Atchison, Kan., days after Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker gave a commencement speech that has been gaining attention. Butker's speech has raised some eyebrows with his proclamations of conservative politics and Catholicism, but he received a standing ovation from graduates and other attendees of the commencement ceremony on Saturday, May 11. (AP Photo/Nick Ingram)

The Benedictine College sign is seen Wednesday, May 15, 2024, in Atchison, Kan., days after Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker gave a commencement speech that has been gaining attention. Butker’s speech has raised some eyebrows with his proclamations of conservative politics and Catholicism, but he received a standing ovation from graduates and other attendees of the commencement ceremony on Saturday, May 11. (AP Photo/Nick Ingram)

Students leave after attending a Catholic Mass at Benedictine College Sunday, Dec. 3, 2023, in Atchison, Kan. Students told The Associated Press in interviews they embrace the college’s emphasis on Catholic teaching and practice. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

FILE - Catholics pray during Mass at Benedictine College Sunday, Dec. 3, 2023, in Atchison, Kan. Enrollment, now about 2,200, has doubled in 20 years. Some 85% of its students are Catholic, according to the Cardinal Newman Society. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, File)

The campus at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kan., was quiet on Wednesday, May 15, 2024, days after Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker gave a commencement speech that was getting attention. Butker’s speech has raised some eyebrows with his proclamations of conservative politics and Catholicism during his weekend speech, but he received a standing ovation from graduates and other attendees of the commencement ceremony on Saturday, May 11. (AP Photo/Nick Ingram)

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Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker may have stirred controversy in some quarters for his proclamations of conservative politics and Catholicism on Saturday, but he received a standing ovation from graduates and other attendees of the May 11 commencement ceremony at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas.

The fast-growing college is part of a constellation of conservative Catholic colleges that tout their adherence to church teachings and practice — part of a larger conservative movement in parts of the U.S. Catholic Church.

Butker’s 20-minute speech hit several cultural flashpoints.

Butker, a conservative Catholic himself, dismissed Pride month as consisting of the “deadly sin sort of pride” while denouncing abortion and President Joe Biden’s handling of the pandemic. He said women are told “diabolical lies” about career ambition when “one of the most important titles of all” is that of homemaker. He said this is not time for “the church of nice” and in particular blasted Catholics who support abortion rights and “dangerous gender ideologies.”

WHAT IS BENEDICTINE COLLEGE?

Benedictine College is a Catholic college in Atchison, Kansas, that traces its roots to 1858. It is located about 60 miles north of Kansas City., and has an enrollment of about 2,200.

FILE - Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker speaks to the media during NFL football Super Bowl 58 opening night Monday, Feb. 5, 2024, in Las Vegas. Butker railed against Pride month along with President Biden’s leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic and his stance on abortion during a commencement address at Benedictine College last weekend. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel, File)

LOTS OF COLLEGES ARE CATHOLIC. WHAT MAKES IT DISTINCTIVE?

In some ways, Benedictine College sounds like a typical Catholic college. Its “mission as a Catholic, Benedictine, liberal arts, residential college is the education of men and women within a community of faith and scholarship,” according to its website.

But its home to more traditional expressions of Catholicism, such as the Latin Mass, all-night prayer vigils and a strict code of conduct. Its mission statement further cites its commitment to “those specific matters of faith of the Roman Catholic tradition, as revealed in the person of Jesus Christ and handed down in the teachings of the Church.”

The school gets a high ranking from the Cardinal Newman Society, a group that touts nearly two-dozen conservative colleges that exhibit what it calls “faithful Catholic education.” That includes upholding church teachings and Catholic identity while providing ample Masses and other devotional activities in shaping their students.

The society seeks to differentiate schools that “refuse to compromise their Catholic mission” from those that have become “battlegrounds for today’s culture wars.” Others praised by the society include Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C., Ave Maria University in Florida and Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio.

The society’s ranking says Benedictine benefits from having monks in residence, multiple Masses and prayer groups, spiritually focused organizations and theology programs with professors with a “mandatum” of approval from the local bishop.

HOW HAS THAT RESONATED WITH STUDENTS?

Benedictine’s enrollment has doubled in the past 20 years. Some 85% of its students are Catholic, according to the Cardinal Newman Society.

Students told The Associated Press in interviews they embrace the college’s emphasis on Catholic teaching and practice.

“It’s a renewal of, like, some really, really good things that we might have lost,” one student told the AP in its recent article on the revival of conservative Catholicism.

OTHER FACTS

Annual tuition for full-time undergraduates is $35,350, but Benedictine says 100% of its students receive some form of financial aid.

Benedictine’s sports teams, called the Ravens, compete in National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics. Its athletics department says it is committed to ”setting the highest standards for academic success, athletic competition, ethical behavior, fiscal responsibility, and spiritual development.”

HOW DID GRADUATES REACT TO BUTKER’S SPEECH?

Video of the commencement shows virtually all the graduates and spectators rising to a standing ovation, but student interviews showed a more mixed reaction.

ValerieAnne Volpe, 20, who graduated with an art degree, lauded Butker for saying things that “people are scared to say.”

“I was thinking about my dad, who was also here, and how he’s probably clapping and so happy to see what he would say is a real man (reflecting) family values, good religious upbringing and representation of Christ to people,” she said. “You can just hear that he loves his wife. You can hear that he loves his family.”

Kassidy Neuner, 22, said the speech felt “a little degrading” and gave the impression that only women can be a homemaker.

“I think that men have that option as well,” said Neuner, who will be spending a gap year teaching before going to law school. “And to point this out specifically that that’s what we’re looking forward to in life seems like our four years of hard work wasn’t really important.”

Elle Wilbers, 22, who is heading to medical school in the fall, said the Catholic faith focuses on mothers, so that portion of the speech wasn’t surprising. She was more shocked by his criticism of priests and bishops “misleading their flocks” and a quip comparing LGBTQ+ Pride month to one of the seven deadly sins.

“We should have compassion for the people who have been told all their life that the person they love is like, it’s not okay to love that person,” Wilbers said. “It was sort of just a shock. I was like, ‘Is he really saying this right now?’”

WHAT DID BENEDICTINE’S NUNS SAY?

The Benedictine Sisters of Mount St. Scholastica, one of the founding sponsors of Benedictine College, issued a statement Thursday criticizing Buter’s speech, contending it did not properly represent the college’s values.

“Instead of promoting unity in our church, our nation, and the world, his comments seem to have fostered division,” the statement said.

“One of our concerns was the assertion that being a homemaker is the highest calling for a woman,” it added. “We sisters have dedicated our lives to God and God’s people, including the many women whom we have taught. ... These women have made a tremendous difference in the world in their roles as wives and mothers and through their God-given gifts in leadership, scholarship, and their careers.”

Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP’s collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.

what's a bad thesis statement

What are paper bank statement fees?

  • Cost of paper statements

Avoiding paper statement fees

Benefits of electronic statements, paper bank statement fees: what you need to know.

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  • Many banks charge you a few dollars per month for mailing paper bank statements to your home.
  • You can avoid paper statement fees by opting for paperless statements online.
  • If you don't like banking online, paper statements could be worth the cost.

A bank statement is a document that shows your account activity. One statement shows the activity over a "statement period," which is typically one month.

Banks are required to provide bank statements to customers for checking and savings accounts for any period in which an electronic funds transfer was made. So if you swiped your debit card, made an ATM withdrawal, or paid a bill from your account, you should receive a statement.

For many years, banks would print and mail monthly bank statements to every customer.

In an effort to reduce costs and paper waste, many financial institutions have stopped sending paper statements in favor of electronic statements — or else charging customers a small fee if they still want to receive a physical copy each month.

How much are paper statement fees?

Paper statement fees range from $0 to $5 at most financial institutions, though some will waive the fee if a customer meets certain qualifications.

Here are the paper statement fees at banks with the most branches around the U.S., as well as online banks:

*At these banks, the paper statement fee may vary depending on which checking account you open.

Depending on the bank, you may automatically be enrolled in e-statements but not paper statements or vice-versa.

Speak with a customer service representative or check your online account settings to make sure you aren't paying for paper statements if you don't want to receive them.

With e-statements, otherwise known as paperless statements, you see your transaction history on the bank's website or mobile app. There should be a menu option specifically for statements where you can sort by month.

Most banks charge a few dollars per month for paper statements, so opting for paperless statements eliminates this fee.

It's also better for the environment to receive your monthly statement electronically because the bank won't have to print and mail the paper to your home.

Some banks may also offer benefits when you opt for paperless statements. For example, a bank may waive your monthly maintenance fee or offer a cash sign-up bonus.

Paper statement fee FAQs

It depends on the bank. Some will waive the fee for customers who meet certain qualifications, such as age or minimum balance requirements, but it's not common.

E-statements are better for the environment, more cost-effective for financial institutions, and can offer better protection against identity theft .

Use unique passwords for all of your accounts, enable two-factor authentication where available, and avoid downloading your e-statements on a public computer.

If you'd rather receive paper statements, ask your bank if there's a way to reduce your banking fee for paper statements. Alternatively, consider printing your e-statements and keeping a file of them at home.

Banks may charge anywhere from $0 to $5 for paper bank statements.

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Editorial Note: Any opinions, analyses, reviews, or recommendations expressed in this article are the author’s alone, and have not been reviewed, approved, or otherwise endorsed by any card issuer. Read our editorial standards .

Please note: While the offers mentioned above are accurate at the time of publication, they're subject to change at any time and may have changed, or may no longer be available.

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Body shaming, IQ insults and cross talk: House committee meeting devolves into chaos amid personal insults

WASHINGTON — Criticism of a member's "fake eyelashes" and another's intelligence. A question about discussing a member's "bleach blond, bad-built butch body."

A House Oversight Committee meeting Thursday night devolved into chaos amid personal attacks and partisan bickering in a rare evening session that was supposed to center on a resolution recommending Attorney General Merrick Garland be held in contempt of Congress.

The already tense hearing was derailed when Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., responded to a question from Rep. Jasmine Crockett, D-Texas, by saying, “I think your fake eyelashes are messing up what you’re reading.”

Democrats, led by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, immediately moved to strike Greene's words from the record and make her apologize to Crockett.

"That is absolutely unacceptable," Ocasio-Cortez said over cross talk. "How dare you attack the physical appearance of another person?"

Greene taunted Ocasio-Cortez, asking, "Are your feelings hurt?"

"Oh, girl? Baby girl," Ocasio-Cortez shot back. "Don't even play."

Greene attacked a second member just minutes after she criticized Crockett, asserting that Ocasio-Cortez did not have "enough intelligence" for a debate.

Greene had asked Ocasio-Cortez, "Why don't you debate me?"

Ocasio-Cortez responded that she thought "it's pretty self-evident."

"You don't have enough intelligence," Greene said as members of Congress audibly groaned at her attack.

Greene agreed to strike her comments toward Crockett but vehemently refused to apologize for the evening's attacks, declaring, “You will never get an apology out of me.”

politics political politician

Amid repeated demands from Democrats to strike Greene’s words from the record and force her to apologize, Comer eventually ruled that Greene’s insult of Crockett did not violate House rules against engaging in “personalities” during debate. When Democratic ranking member Jamie Raskin of Maryland sought to appeal the ruling, Republicans offered a motion to table, or kill, his appeal.

After the vote, Crockett asked Comer for clarification to understand his ruling about personal attacks on members of Congress.

"I'm just curious, just to better understand your ruling," Crockett said. "If someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody's bleach blond, bad-built butch body, that would not be engaging in personalities, correct?"

Chaos erupted again, with a member instructing Crockett to "calm down."

"I have two hearing aids. I'm very deaf," the committee’s chairman, Rep. James Comer, R-Ky., said after cross talk took over. "I'm not understanding — everybody's yelling. I'm doing the best I can."

After Comer agreed to strike Greene’s insult of Ocasio-Cortez, Democrats sought to enforce committee rules that would have prevented Greene from speaking for the rest of the hearing. Republicans voted to allow her to speak.

Comer ultimately called for a short recess amid debate over questions about a rule for members who have had comments struck from the record but wished to speak. Upon return, he reminded members to observe "the House's standard of decorum."

Greene was ultimately recognized to speak for more than four minutes, during which she reiterated that she would not apologize.

"I will not apologize for my words, and I will not change them," she said.

Nearly an hour after the hearing was derailed, the committee got back to debating whether Garland should be held in contempt of Congress for refusing to hand over audio recordings of President Joe Biden’s interview with special counsel Robert Hur over his handling of classified documents.

Tensions were already running high after a long day, with Republicans peppering Raskin's opening remarks with interruptions.

The meeting had originally been scheduled for 11 a.m., but it was moved to 8 p.m. after several committee members traveled to New York to attend the trial of former President Donald Trump .

The committee voted 24-20 along party lines to recommend holding Garland in contempt following the contentious meeting. House Speaker Mike Johnson’s office has not yet said when it would put the contempt resolution before the full House.

what's a bad thesis statement

Rebecca is a producer and off-air reporter covering Congress for NBC News, managing coverage of the House.

what's a bad thesis statement

Megan Lebowitz is a politics reporter for NBC News.

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'No one is throwing good money after bad.' Why 2024 looks like trouble for commercial real estate.

what's a bad thesis statement

By Joy Wiltermuth

Property owners pocketed billions of dollars by refinancing properties when rates were low. They aren't going to throw it away now.

First goes the easy money, then come the defaults, especially when property owners have already cashed out.

Investors are bracing for 2024 to be pretty gloomy in the U.S. commercial real-estate market, with more landlords expected to throw in the towel on downtrodden buildings with debt coming due.

Higher interest rates and wobbling property values continue to be a source of angst, even though benchmark borrowing rates since the fall have come down sharply. A crucial sign to watch will be how much equity borrowers still have left in the buildings they own.

For years, owners of commercial real estate have pocketed billions of dollars by refinancing properties at skyrocketing values when debt was dirt cheap. As valuations come down, the debt attached to those properties is increasingly more than what the buildings are worth. The owners aren't expected to throw the money they have taken off the table down a sink hole now.

"In my mind, if you have anyone significantly underwater they may just want to hand the keys back," said Gabe Rivera, co-head of securitized products at PGIM Fixed Income, a division of PGIM, the $1.2 trillion asset management business of Prudential Financial Inc. (PRU)

"No one is throwing good money after bad."

Rising default risks

Regulators in December said the near $6 trillion pile of outstanding commercial real-estate loans, of which about half were owned by banks, was a top threat to the financial system in 2024.

Loan delinquencies and defaults, while still well below past crisis peaks, have been picking up in recent months as more borrowers struggle to modify, pay off or refinance maturing debt.

The nation's biggest landlords frequently turned to Wall Street's commercial mortgage-backed securities market in the past decade for loans as large as $1 billion, or to finance portfolios of properties, often on a non-recourse basis.

'In my mind, if you have anyone significantly underwater they may just want to hand the keys back.' Gabe Rivera, co-head of securitized products at PGIM Fixed Income

Blackstone Inc. (BX), Brookfield Properties( CA:BN) and Columbia Property Trust, which is controlled by Pimco funds, made headlines in 2023 as part of an early wave of defaults, or write downs in this cycle.

CMBS loans are popular because they typically shield an owner's personal wealth and other properties in the event of a default, making it easier to walk away. During market upswings, these loans often also include borrower "cash outs."

When borrowers cash out, the funds often are treated like equity by property owners. It can be used to fund building upgrades or to buy other assets, with few strings attached.

"It is definitely a topic that's very relevant," said Greg Handler, head of mortgage and consumer credit at Western Asset Management Company, a fixed-income manager with $369.5 billion in assets under management.

"If they already cashed out," Handler said, it reduces the likelihood that a borrower will stick by a property, or put equity in to refinance maturing debt.

Blackstone, in a statement to MarketWatch, said it aims to invest in sectors with strong fundamentals that benefit from macro demand trends, "which is why the majority of the real estate we own is in sectors like logistics, student housing and data centers and why less than 2% of our owned portfolio is traditional U.S. office."

Pimco and Brookfield didn't immediately respond.

'The money was there'

Cash outs proliferated in the run-up to the 2007-2008 global financial crisis, and again as credit markets roared back to life in the era of cheap debt that follow.

"When you had the cash outs, interest rates were so low, and every bank and nonbank lender was willing to make loans," said Justin Newman, partner at law firm Thompson Coburn. "Everybody cashed out, because the money was there and you're not going to turn it down."

Specifically, borrowers pulled about $141.5 billion in cash out of U.S. commercial properties financed by Wall Street's CMBS market over roughly the past 20 years, while adding about $50 billion back, according to a DBRS Morningstar tally compiled for MarketWatch.

That translates to about $93.5 billion in net cash extracted, with the bulk taken out in the past 10 years of low rates, according to the data.

The CMBS market, though only a 6% to 25% slice of the lending pie in recent years, serves as a barometer for trends in the broader commercial real-estate industry.

Unlike banks and other lenders that typically keep loans on their books, the CMBS market packages its mortgages into bond deals that are sold to investors, distributing the risk across state lines and throughout the financial system.

On the other hand, the market also provides loan-level financing details that other lenders won't often disclose. Bond investors also receive monthly performance updates at the property level, which can show the first signs of stress.

Distress ahead

Pressure on commercial real estate began building in 2023 as a first wave of property loans matured during the Federal Reserve's rate-hiking cycle, and financial cores of many big cities saw only a reluctant return of workers to offices after the pandemic.

The Fed may now be done hiking rates, and more companies requiring more days in the office, but borrowing costs are still expected to stay well above pandemic lows, keeping pressure on property values, market participants said.

Interest rates, pegged at 6.5% for commercial property loans in late December have eased back from above 7% this fall, but remain well above the pandemic lows of under 4%. The yield on the 10-year U.S. Treasury bond BX:TMUBMUSD10Y recently sunk to 3.87%, but remains much higher than the 1.4% range of two years ago.

That doesn't bode well as an estimated $1.2 trillion of commercial mortgage debt is set to mature through 2025, according to data from the Mortgage Bankers Association.

Moody's Investors Service in December said that roughly one-fifth of the $42.3 billion of CMBS loans it rates that are due to mature next year could be at an elevated default risk, with office loans a particular worry.

Some maturing loans will be extended by lenders, while others borrowers could find relief from the estimated $135.5 billion pile of "dry powder" amassed globally through December by private equity firms for real estate opportunities, according to Preqin data.

"My view is that this is going to be a slow bleed, a situation where keys are coming back to lenders, regional banks are selling assets and pension plans are exiting," said Seth Meyer, head of fixed-income strategy and a portfolio manager at Janus Henderson Investors, which has $308.3 billion in assets under management.

"This will create opportunities," Meyer said. "This is where it will be a credit-picker's market for a while."

-Joy Wiltermuth

This content was created by MarketWatch, which is operated by Dow Jones & Co. MarketWatch is published independently from Dow Jones Newswires and The Wall Street Journal.

(END) Dow Jones Newswires

12-30-23 1138ET

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The NFL responds after a player urges female college graduates to become homemakers

Rachel Treisman

what's a bad thesis statement

Kansas City Chiefs player Harrison Butker, pictured at a press conference in February, is in hot water for his recent commencement speech at Benedictine College in Kansas. Chris Unger/Getty Images hide caption

Kansas City Chiefs player Harrison Butker, pictured at a press conference in February, is in hot water for his recent commencement speech at Benedictine College in Kansas.

Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker stirred controversy off the field this weekend when he told a college graduating class that one of the "most important titles" a woman can hold is "homemaker."

Butker denounced abortion rights, Pride Month, COVID-19 lockdowns and "the tyranny of diversity, equity and inclusion" in his commencement address at Benedictine College, a Catholic liberal arts school in Atchison, Kan.

The 28-year-old, a devout Catholic and father of two, also railed against "dangerous gender ideologies" and urged men to "fight against the cultural emasculation of men." At one point, he addressed women specifically.

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Why the nfl (still) has a diversity problem.

"I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you, how many of you are sitting here now about to cross the stage, and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you're going to get in your career," he said. "Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world. But I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world."

Harrison Butker chokes up while discussing his wife, encouraging Benedictine College female grads to embrace motherhood. pic.twitter.com/qm73MBl0Hl — The College Fix (@CollegeFix) May 13, 2024

"I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother," Butker said.

The 20-minute speech has been viewed more than 455,000 times on YouTube since Saturday and generated considerable backlash — and memes — on social media, especially from people critical of his views on women. Many pointed out that Butker's own mom is a clinical medical physicist.

Butker also drew ire from fans of Taylor Swift, who is dating fellow Chiefs player Travis Kelce, a relationship that has famously helped bring many new female fans to the NFL. Later in the speech, he quoted Swift — though not by name — while talking about what he sees as the problem of priests becoming "overly familiar" with their parishioners.

The Swift-Kelce romance sounds like a movie. But the NFL swears it wasn't scripted

Super Bowl 2024

The swift-kelce romance sounds like a movie. but the nfl swears it wasn't scripted.

"This undue familiarity will prove to be problematic every time, because as my teammate's girlfriend says, 'Familiarity breeds contempt,' " he said, quoting a lyric from her song Bejeweled.

One Swift fan account joked about petitioning for the pop star to replace Butker as the Chiefs' kicker. A real online petition , calling for the Chiefs to dismiss Butker for his "sexist, homophobic, anti-trans, anti-abortion and racist remarks," has gained 95,000 signatures and counting since Monday.

Butker and the team have not commented publicly on his speech and the backlash to it, though late Wednesday the NFL issued a statement distancing itself from it.

"Harrison Butker gave a speech in his personal capacity," Jonathan Beane, the NFL's senior VP and chief diversity and inclusion officer told NPR on Thursday. "His views are not those of the NFL as an organization."

What else did Butker say?

Butker has been vocal about his faith, telling the Eternal Word Television Network in 2019 that he grew up Catholic but practiced less in high school and college before rediscovering his belief later in life.

Last year, Butker appeared in an ad for the nonprofit Catholic Vote urging Kansans to support a referendum that would limit abortion rights in the state (it was ultimately unsuccessful ). He's also one of several athletes who has partnered with a Catholic prayer app . And days after the Chiefs won this year's Super Bowl, Butker spent a week "in reflection" at a monastery in California.

He also gave the commencement address at his alma mater Georgia Tech last year, in which he urged students to "get married and start a family."

Women are earning more money. But they're still picking up a heavier load at home

Women are earning more money. But they're still picking up a heavier load at home

This time around, Butker started his speech by suggesting he had been reluctant to give it: He said he originally turned down the president's invitation because he felt that one commencement speech was enough, "especially for someone who isn't a professional speaker."

He was persuaded, he said, in part by leadership's argument about how many milestones graduating seniors had missed because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

"As a group, you witnessed firsthand how bad leaders who don't stay in their lane can have a negative impact on society," he said in his opening remarks. "It is through this lens that I want to take stock of how we got to where we are and where we want to go as citizens, and yes, as Catholics."

He criticized President Biden for his handling of the pandemic and his stance on abortion, which he said falsely suggests people can simultaneously be "both Catholic and pro-choice."

Butker blamed "the pervasiveness of disorder" for the availability of procedures like abortion, IVF, surrogacy and euthanasia, as well as "a growing support for degenerate cultural values and media."

6 in 10 U.S. Catholics are in favor of abortion rights, Pew Research report finds

6 in 10 U.S. Catholics are in favor of abortion rights, Pew Research report finds

At one point, he referenced an Associated Press article from earlier this month about the revival of conservative Catholicism that prominently featured Benedictine College as an example.

The school of roughly 2,000 gets top ratings from the Cardinal Newman Society , a nonprofit that promotes Catholic education in the U.S., for policies including offering daily mass and prohibiting campus speakers who "publicly oppose Catholic moral teaching."

"I am certain the reporters at the AP could not have imagined that their attempt to rebuke and embarrass places and people like those here at Benedictine wouldn't be met with anger, but instead with excitement and pride," Butker said, before making an apparent reference to LGBTQ Pride Month in June.

"Not the deadly sin sort of pride that has an entire month dedicated to it," he said, as laughter could be heard from the crowd.

How are people responding?

The official YouTube video of Butker's speech shows the crowd standing and applauding at the end, though the AP reports that reactions among graduates were mixed. Several told the outlet they were surprised by his comments about women, priests and LGTBQ people.

Kassidy Neuner told the AP that the speech felt "degrading," suggesting that only women can be homemakers.

"To point this out specifically that that's what we're looking forward to in life seems like our four years of hard work wasn't really important," said Neuner, who is planning on attending law school.

The Vatican says surrogacy and gender theory are 'grave threats' to human dignity

The Vatican says surrogacy and gender theory are 'grave threats' to human dignity

Butker's comments have gotten some support, including on social media from football fan accounts and Christian and conservative media personalities .

"Christian men should be preaching this regularly," tweeted former NFL player T.J. Moe. "Instead, it's so taboo that when someone tells the obvious truth that anyone who holds a biblical worldview believes, it's national news."

Still, other public figures — including musicians Maren Morris and Flava Flav — were quick to disagree.

Even the official Kansas City account weighed in, tweeting on Wednesday that Butker resides not there but in a neighboring suburb, Lee's Summit. The tweet has since been deleted and the account apologized for the tweet .

Kansas City Mayor Quinton Lucas tweeted that he believed Butker holds a "minority viewpoint" in the state but defended his right to express it.

How student protests are changing college graduations

Campus protests over the Gaza war

How student protests are changing college graduations.

"Grown folks have opinions, even if they play sports," he wrote . "I disagree with many, but I recognize our right to different views."

Justice Horn, the former chair of Kansas City's LGBTQ Commission, was more critical, writing on X (formerly Twitter) that "Harrison Butker doesn't represent Kansas City nor has he ever." He called the city one that "welcomes, affirms and embraces our LGBTQ+ community members."

The Los Angeles Chargers also trolled Butker in its Sims-style schedule release video on Wednesday, which ends with a shot of his animated, number 7 jersey-wearing character cooking and arranging flowers in a kitchen.

  • Kansas City Chiefs
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  • working women
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COMMENTS

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  18. Avoiding Poor Thesis Statements (A)

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  20. 15 Examples of Bad Thesis Statements • Eat, Sleep, Wander

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  21. 25 Thesis Statement Examples That Will Make Writing a Breeze

    A thesis statement always goes at the beginning of the paper. It will typically be in the first couple of paragraphs of the paper so that it can introduce the body paragraphs, which are the supporting evidence for your thesis statement. Your thesis statement should clearly identify an argument. You need to have a statement that is not only easy ...

  22. PDF Good, the Bad, and The Ugly: Comparing Thesis Statements

    Sharing thesis statements with students—both good and bad—can help them understand the characteristics they should be striving for in their own work. Share the following thesis statements with your students on the chalkboard or overhead. Ask them to brainstorm possible problems or positive characteristics of each.

  23. Social Media & Society Thesis Statement Examples

    Good Thesis Statement Examples. Good: "This thesis evaluates the correlation between prolonged social media usage and increased levels of anxiety and depression among teenagers in the United States." Bad: "Social media affects teenagers' mental health." The good statement presents a specific correlation, target demographic (teenagers in the U.S.), and identified outcomes (anxiety and ...

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  25. Why Harrison Butker's speech was embraced at Benedictine College's

    The Benedictine College sign is seen Wednesday, May 15, 2024, in Atchison, Kan., days after Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker gave a commencement speech that has been gaining attention. Butker's speech has raised some eyebrows with his proclamations of conservative politics and Catholicism, but he received a standing ovation from ...

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    Blackstone, in a statement to MarketWatch, said it aims to invest in sectors with strong fundamentals that benefit from macro demand trends, "which is why the majority of the real estate we own is ...

  29. NFL's Harrison Butker is slammed for speech on women, abortion : NPR

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    Democratic Rep. Jasmine Crockett criticized Republican Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, calling her "racist," following a tense House Oversight markup Thursday evening that quickly devolved into ...