essay on strict parents

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Is it Good for Children to Have Strict Parents?

• March 18, 2022

Are strict parents better?

What are the signs of strict parents.

• What happens when a parent is too strict?

What’s the best parenting style?

What happens if a parent isn’t strict, how strict should i be.

To answer this question, we need to think about the different ways that people approach discipline. When psychologists talk about parenting, they often refer to four particular types of parent: authoritarian parents, authoritative parents, indulgent/permissive parents and uninvolved/neglectful parents.

When studies are carried out analysing parenting styles and their consequences, researchers often look at how responsive and how demanding each type of parent has been.  How responsive a parent is often refers to how much they react to their child’s needs. How demanding a parent is usually means how much they expect from their child in terms of their behaviour.

Authoritarian parents

When people talk about very strict parents they often mean authoritarian parents. (Think Captain Von Trapp before he met Maria in The Sound of Music. ) One of the key signs of authoritarian parents is that they are very demanding but not very responsive. 

These strict mothers and fathers have very clear and fixed rules that they expect their children to follow without any room for negotiation or explanation. They control every aspect of their children’s lives and use threats and punishments to make their children behave in a certain way. Authoritarian parents are often regarded as cold and lacking empathy when dealing with their children.

What happens when a parent is too strict? 

This type of very strict authoritarian parenting may seem to create well-behaved, compliant children from a very orderly home - but it comes at a cost.  Researchers have found that there are several negative effects of strict parenting.

Strict parent effects:

• Studies have shown that a lack of warmth and connection between parent and child can negatively affect emotional development . 
• Children raised by authoritarian parents may have low self-esteem and struggle with anxiety or depression. 
• Outside of their home, children of very strict parents can find it difficult to socialise and may not know how to manage their own anger.  
• Experts claim that if you are too strict with children, it can encourage them to lie as they are scared to tell the truth.
• As all their decisions are often made for them, children of authoritarian parents may not be very good at making choices and this can lead to them taking unnecessary risks. 
• Having to follow a strict parent’s rules and regulations without room to think for themselves can also limit a child’s creativity.  
• Most worrying of all, after growing up with strict parents who are very authoritarian, children may feel that receiving love is dependent on them being obedient and successful. 

When you look at this list, it’s clear that authoritarian parenting does more harm than good.

Authoritative parents

It’s easy to confuse authoritarian and authoritative parents based on the name alone but in reality, they’re worlds apart. As the clinical and developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind pointed out, “ Authoritative parents are both responsive and demanding ”. This approach is usually seen as the healthiest. Authoritative parents expect certain things from their children but they also respond to their needs. 

Authoritative parents still set clear rules that they expect their kids to follow, but the difference is that they discuss these rules openly and help their children to follow them instead of simply punishing them harshly every time they break them. They keep a close eye on how their children are doing and think of them as individuals with their own rights and needs. Authoritative parents can see that their children need to experience love and warmth in order to become confident and independent in their own choices. 

The result of authoritative parenting is, as you might expect, more positive. Children who grow up in this kind of environment have fewer social and behavioural problems due to a more secure and stable attachment with their parents. Research shows that they are often more independent and academically successful and more able to observe and understand their own emotions. In the long term, they are also less likely to abuse drugs as they enter adulthood.

Indulgent parents (often called permissive parents)

These are parents that are very responsive but not at all demanding.  They avoid confrontation with their children and don’t have many expectations of them in terms of achievement or behaviour. 

This type of parent may be reacting to their own very strict or authoritative upbringing by going the opposite way. They may say yes to every one of their child’s demands no matter how inconvenient or unreasonable. However, by agreeing to a child’s every whim, instead of feeling loved, the child may actually feel a little lost. Many children need boundaries and prefer to know what is expected of them in order to feel safe.

You only need to think of Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to see the other negative effects of this type of parenting. Without clear boundaries or expectations, children of indulgent parents can, in short, get away with anything and may not be very pleasant for other people to be around. In fiction and in real life, the child that behaves like a spoiled brat doesn’t usually attract the best circle of friends.

Uninvolved parents (also called neglectful parents)

Uninvolved parents are neither demanding nor responsive, perhaps due to their own parent problems. These parents step so far back from their children that it may appear that they don’t really care at all. In extreme cases, they might actually reject or neglect their children who, unfortunately, will most likely struggle to thrive as a result. 

While it’s good to understand what these different labels mean, it’s also wise to remember that no person is ever just one thing. Putting people in boxes doesn’t always work. It’s important not to be limited by labels and categories as you have the ability to change and react to what’s happening around you. For example, if you’re usually more of an authoritative parent, you might find that you temporarily switch to being more authoritarian when you’re under time pressure or trying to avoid immediate danger . Equally, when your little one is under the weather, being more indulgent may be exactly what they need.

Regardless of the reason behind them, setting rules and regulations is often about making someone bend to another person’s will. And forcing rules on someone else without negotiation, cooperation or explanation can feel like a dictatorship.

As renowned child psychotherapist Philippa Perry says, “ consistently imposing your will on your child is neither the best way to nurture morality or cooperation, nor is it a good way to have a good relationship with the m.” Her answer is collaboration, which involves discussing problems and finding solutions together – showing flexibility instead of sticking blindly to predetermined rules just for the sake of it.

The collaborative approach that Philippa Perry recommends involves the following steps:

• Name/define the problem. (E.g. Your child won’t do their English homework.)
• Explore the feelings behind it. (E.g. They find it too difficult and don’t know where to start.)
• Acknowledge and validate the feelings. (E.g. Discuss what it means to feel overwhelmed by something being too difficult. Acknowledge that they find this type of exercise hard and that’s okay.)
• Think of solutions together. (E.g. Agree to go through the questions together and make sure they understand what’s being asked of them in the homework task. Discuss the task out loud together before putting pen to paper.)
• Follow through on what you’ve agreed and go over any steps if you need to.

When kids play up or push your buttons, it’s hard not to clam up and invoke the ‘I’m the adult, you’re the child’ perspective. It’s at times like these, when they’re pushing boundaries and challenging you, that you might find yourself saying the things your parents did or doing the opposite of what your parents would do. 

You are often your best resource so when you hear a tell-tale phrase or find yourself acting in a way that you don’t understand, just check in with your inner child. If you’re parroting your own parents, how did you feel when they said this particular phrase and what did it achieve if anything? If you’re acting in a way that seems to be a knee-jerk response, are you trying hard not to be your parents, and if so, why?

Reflecting on your own childhood experience can be joyful, uncomfortable and even liberating – but, just like parenting, it involves a bit of work. We know you’re always trying to build something as a parent, to improve on what you already have. How strict you are with your kids isn’t simply about making them behave in a certain prescriptive way, but about the emotional and problem-solving skills that you equip them with for life.

If your child needs extra support in a particular subject at school, why not consider a tutor. GoStudent tutors are here to support you and your children as they grow academically.  Choose from our expert tutors and schedule your free trial session today.

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Why Parenting With Discipline Raises More Resilient Children

The research is pretty clear. so what kind of parent are you.

Posted April 2, 2020 | Reviewed by Matt Huston

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Over half a century of research has demonstrated the effects of responsive and demanding parenting . Responsiveness is about understanding and meeting needs, while demandingness is about establishing and enforcing expectations.

From infancy through young adulthood, our children’s mindsets are being forged, tenuously dangling between entitlement, insecurity and—we hope—a third and better option. Ultimately, the most skillful and effective parenting fosters two fundamental, equally necessary forces in a child's development— attachment and autonomy.

To the extent a child is securely attached, they experience trust and emotional connection, which are critical to enhancing their capacity for relating well to others. To the extent a child is responsibly autonomous, they are able to self-soothe and engage in independent tasks.

When we refer to discipline, we are often really searching for ways to control a child; yet discipline here refers primarily to the development of capacities for self-regulation , in which exerting such parental control is increasingly unnecessary.

The fundamental truth about parenting with discipline is that parents themselves must become disciplined in their parenting if there are truly to be any meaningfully constructive, long-term gains.

Neglect, and Worse

Some are disengaged from their children’s lives—emotionally detached, practically uninvolved, failing to provide expectations or guidance. Having been a therapist for teen shelters and later a clinical director for a therapeutic foster care program, I acknowledge that many parents face legitimate challenges in their lives that lead to poor choices and neglect of their children. While careful not to shame parents whose lives are harsh, I have witnessed devastating effects of unmet needs, including physical neglect and emotional desertion, on the children of such parents.

Child neglect is a failure to meet a child's basic needs. Children who experience neglect may fear and sabotage close relationships, experience heightened anxiety , and fail to adequately develop empathy and even ethical decision-making .

There are, of course, even more flagrant abuses, and I will not go into them here. Domestic violence between parents also deals devastating blows.

Strict Parenting

Some parents are highly demanding of their children but not responsive to their emotional needs. These parents are characterized as "strict" and are generally more rigid, harsh, and demanding and tend to engage in provocative and punitive forms of discipline. There are several ways we can make children behave—force, fear, and punishment . Harsh tactics serve to overpower a child, which may result in order and compliance, yet far from nurturing unmet developmental needs, they may result in a child that is more angry, resentful, fearful, and responsive only to force.

Strict parenting is characterized by high expectations of conformity and compliance to rules and directions. These parents are more restrictive and do not allow open dialogue about the reasoning behind rules and expectations, exerting a form of psychological control. Strict parents want to be respected for their rules and provisions with no questions asked, either because this was how they were raised or because they feel unsure about their own parenting.

Strict parents favor punitive, forceful measures to curb willfulness. Children of strict parents often develop high anxiety as well as compulsive thoughts and behavior as they negotiate between underdeveloped capacities and hidden cravings for autonomous self-regulation, authentic expressiveness, and emotional connection.

Permissive Parenting

Some parents, characterized as "permissive," are responsive to children’s emotional needs and wishes but not very demanding. Permissive parenting is involved, emotionally nurturing, and accepting but with few demands or controls. These parents tend to be the child’s friend rather than the parental authority in order to be liked and accepted. Permissive parents may be warm and nurturing with their children yet fail to meet a child's developmental needs for rules and limits. By overvaluing friendliness and undervaluing a child's need to grow in self-discipline, parents may inadvertently reward or reinforce immature or even deviant behavior.

Children of permissive parents often develop high anxiety and compulsive thoughts and behaviors. They must come to terms with the world’s structures and demands against the backdrop of their own under-regulated emotion and underdeveloped capacity for self-control.

Disciplined Parenting

Parents who are attuned and responsive to their children’s needs and demanding in guiding them toward maturity and independence are, by that standard, disciplined in their parenting. Disciplined parents are firm but not rigid; they are willing to make an exception when the situation warrants. With a focus on responding to developmental needs and teaching how to make things right after they've gone wrong, disciplined parenting focuses on instilling key values and skills, including self-soothing, delaying gratification, constructive communication, fairness, and citizenship.

This style of parenting, also called "democratic" or "authoritative," is characterized by high expectations for maturity and compliance to rules while allowing open dialogue. Democratic parents at once encourage independence and place limits and controls on their child’s actions. They link children’s rights and privileges with demonstrations of responsibility and good judgment. They set clear standards for their children, monitor the limits they set, and encourage autonomy by providing ample decision-making power and space for engaging their own unique interests.

When kids misbehave, wise parents respond in ways that guide the developing person hidden underneath the monstrous mood or impulsive behavior. Disciplined parents are demanding without exerting psychological control and emotionally responsive without losing behavioral control. They explain the reasoning behind the rules, limits, and consequences they impose. This approach, known as inductive discipline, has been correlated in research with the development of prosocial behavior and more advanced moral reasoning skills. Children who receive this kind of discipline tend to become more assertive , socially responsible, self-regulated, and cooperative.

Children of democratic parents experience anxiety in response to stressors like the rest, yet it has been shown that often these children are more adaptable in the face of the stressors they encounter. Research has suggested that children of democratic parents are less likely to experience debilitating depression or anxiety, less likely to engage in socially aggressive behaviors, and less likely to use illegal substances. Disciplined parents also know intuitively what research bears out: that when they are more reprimanding of their children’s academic mistakes than emotionally supportive, their children are more likely to struggle with problem-solving processes and learning.

As we become disciplined in our parenting, we more effectively nurture social and academic competence, fuel development of moral decision-making faculties, and teach kids to live within healthy limits and tolerate reasonable controls, nurturing self-control and self-direction. Parents clear in their expectations and firm in enforcing consequences while remaining accessible, engaging in affection, and being emotionally responsive raise more confident, competent, and resilient children.

Blake Griffin Edwards is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Washington State.

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Understanding Strict Parenting: Benefits, Drawbacks, and Balance

Parenting is a journey full with obstacles, choices, and ongoing learning. In today’s society, when parenting techniques and ideologies vary significantly, one specific approach has provoked several arguments and discussions: rigorous parenting. But what does it mean to be a strict parent, and how does it affect a child’s upbringing? In this thorough book, we will dig into the realm of tough parenting, analyzing its advantages, pitfalls, and the significance of achieving a balance that develops both discipline and understanding.

Table of Contents

Understanding Strict Parenting

Strict parenting, frequently characterized by clearly defined rules, high expectations, and regular punishments, tries to give structure and discipline in a child’s life. While the word “strict” may have a negative connotation, it’s crucial to explain that severe parents are not always dictatorial or unloving. Their aims are anchored in instilling a feeling of responsibility, respect, and achievement in their children.

The Benefits of Strict Parenting

Clear Limits:

Strict parenting is characterized by the establishment of clear limits and expectations for children. This deliberate approach aids in the early development of a child’s understanding of right and wrong. By having explicit boundaries, children in strict households gain a foundational comprehension of societal norms and ethical behavior from an early age.

Discipline:

Children raised in strict families exhibit notable qualities such as strong self-discipline, effective time management skills, and a robust work ethic. The structured environment created by strict parenting fosters a sense of responsibility and accountability in children, contributing to the cultivation of essential life skills.

Academic Success:

The adherence to high standards and rigorous routines within strict parenting environments often correlates with heightened academic success. Strict parents typically prioritize education and emphasize the importance of diligence and dedication to learning. Consequently, children from such backgrounds are more likely to excel academically due to the instilled values surrounding educational achievement.

Respect and Responsibility:

Strict parenting serves as a conduit for instilling fundamental values like respect for authority, responsibility for one’s conduct, and accountability. Children brought up with these principles are more likely to exhibit respectful behavior, understand the consequences of their actions, and embrace a sense of responsibility in various aspects of their lives. This forms the basis for the development of well-rounded and conscientious individuals.

The Drawbacks of Strict Parenting

Tension and Anxiety

Excessive strictness in parenting can inadvertently sow the seeds of tension and anxiety in youngsters. The constant fear of making mistakes or facing harsh repercussions becomes a persistent worry for children raised under such conditions. The atmosphere of strictness, rather than fostering a healthy environment for growth, can lead to heightened stress levels, impacting a child’s emotional well-being.

One notable outcome of a stringent parenting approach is the potential for rebellion among children. When faced with overly strict regulations, some youngsters may feel compelled to break free and rebel, engaging in actions that can be unsafe or contrary to parental expectations. The quest for freedom becomes a driving force, sometimes resulting in behaviors that are challenging for both the child and the parent.

Limited Creativity

The regimented nature of strict parenting environments poses a risk to a child’s creativity and problem-solving abilities. The imposition of rigid rules and stringent expectations may inadvertently stifle a child’s ability to think outside the box, limiting their capacity to explore innovative solutions and express their creativity freely.

Emotional Expression

Strict parenting often hinders the open expression of emotions in children. The fear of repercussions may lead children to believe that they need to suppress or repress their emotions, creating an environment where genuine emotional expression becomes challenging. This emotional constraint can have long-term implications, affecting a child’s ability to navigate and understand their own feelings and those of others.

Finding the Balance

While severe parenting has its virtues, it’s vital to establish a balance between punishment and understanding. Here are several techniques for establishing this equilibrium:

Effective Communication

In the realm of effective parenting, maintaining open and honest communication with your child stands as a cornerstone. A crucial aspect emphasized in parenting guidance is encouraging children to express their thoughts and emotions without the fear of condemnation. This creates an atmosphere where children feel heard, fostering trust and open communication.

Flexibility

Recognizing the evolving nature of parenting, a key principle is the acknowledgment that rules and strategies should adapt alongside a child’s growth and maturity. Being flexible in your parenting approach allows for the necessary adjustments to meet the shifting needs of your child at different stages of development.

Positive Reward

In the spectrum of disciplinary measures, positive reinforcement emerges as a powerful tool. Beyond employing punishments for misconduct, incorporating positive rewards for good behavior becomes integral. Praise and tangible incentives serve as motivational factors, encouraging children to consistently make positive choices.

A fundamental trait instilled in effective parenting is empathy. Displaying empathy and compassion when your child encounters challenges fosters a deeper connection and support system. Empathetic responses not only enhance the parent-child relationship but also contribute to a child’s emotional well-being.

Quality Time

Amidst the various facets of parenting, spending quality time with your child remains a linchpin. Actively participating in activities they enjoy contributes to the building of a deep emotional connection. This connection becomes a crucial buffer, mitigating some of the potential negative impacts associated with a more stringent parenting approach.

In Conclusion

Strict parenting, when tempered with love, empathy, and efficient communication, may teach essential life lessons and prepare children for success. It’s crucial to acknowledge that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and what works for one family may not work for another. Ultimately, the objective should be to produce responsible, polite, and joyful children who are able to tackle the difficulties of the world.

While strict parenting instills discipline and responsibility, an excessive approach risks tension and stifling creativity. Effective communication, flexibility, positive reinforcement, empathy, and quality time serve as crucial tools for achieving this balance. Ultimately, the goal is to raise well-rounded individuals equipped for life’s challenges, emphasizing that a harmonious blend of discipline and empathy forms the cornerstone of successful parenting.

Read also : Positive Parenting Techniques 101: A Comprehensive Guide to Transform Your Effective Parenting Journey

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Moms and Dads

Growing up with strict parents.

• by Lianne Castro
• October 20, 2020

Were your parents strict, or do you consider yourself to be a strict parent? If your answer is yes, then you’ll probably relate to this story…

Have you ever been terrified of opening up to your parents? Growing up with strict parents , it feels as if there’s never a perfect time to share your stories? These feelings of unease were something that I was used to.

As the youngest and the only girl in my family, my parents were always protective of me. When I was in high school, I’d always get bombarded with questions every time I wanted to go out. “And where are you going again ?” “ Who are you going with? Have I met them ?” and “ Ask your dad because I’m not allowing you ” were just the usual interrogations I’d get and made fun of for. As a teen, I was sad because it felt like I was missing out on a lot of things.

I went to an all-girls school from nursery to high school; whenever there were soirees hosted by my classmates, my parents would allow me to attend with gentle reminders like: “Go and make friends, but no boyfriend muna ok? !” or “ Don’t wear shorts, wear jeans instead ”. Of course, dating was out of the question since academics was my priority.

But now that I’m older, I realize how privileged I am to have parents who have been so caring and protective of me. I’m glad my parents’ rules were such a big part of my life. They helped me grow and achieve my dreams. To this day, I live with the principles they’ve taught me.

Here are a few things I’ve learned growing up with strict parents :

That it’s important to put yourself first.

My parents always taught me that to prioritize my self-worth over everything. Because of this, I know how I should be treated and how much respect I deserve. It also taught me the importance of setting boundaries and having a good sense of judgement.

My parents taught me and my brother to think about our health too, especially eating well and the importance of good sleep. From a young age, we were taught to sleep and wake up early, a habit I’ve kept til today!

That we should think first before making decisions

Growing up, I was never impulsive because I knew how much trouble I could get into if I made the wrong choices. This instilled a sense of practicality in me, especially when it comes to money. It’s never been more useful than now, during the pandemic, where the temptation of online shopping is so real. Although I love browsing, I always make sure to double check and see if it’s really worth it to hit that purchase button.

My parents’ attitude towards money also influenced me to invest in more worthwhile things, like life insurance and practical items that I can use for work.

That curfews aren’t all that bad

I used to hate this rule. I had to be home before midnight — just before the party started. But looking back, it taught me to manage my time wisely. I was able to go to a party and make it home before curfew—talk about great time management skills! This has served me well into adulthood, especially at work.

That being in a relationship isn’t a priority

It’s not that my parents never allowed me to date, in fact I’ve introduced someone to them before. They told me to prioritize my studies and career, and the rest will follow, which made sense because I was really young and still had a lot to learn in life. I remember what my mom told me, the first time I opened up about this guy I liked, “ How can you be in a relationship if you can’t even take care of yourself? You have to be responsible first. ” and that made sense to me.

That I should dress like a lady

Studying in an exclusive Catholic all girls-school for 12 years, I am trained to dress up simple and conservatively. Of course, when there are small gatherings with my classmates and other friends, I feel like dressing up too, but wait — mini-skirts, short shorts? I don’t know her . Even on family occasions, my parents always make sure I dress up appropriately.

That nothing worth having comes easy

If you want to be successful in life, you have to work hard and get through all to the struggles first. My dad always told me that life has a lot in store for me — and I  have to overcome all those challenges in order to learn and grow. There will be times you’ll feel like giving up but you should always choose to be strong. Stay positive!

To my parents, thank you for loving me unconditionally. There might be times where I feel I don’t understand your rules but now I know why you set those for me. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without your support and I will always be grateful for that.

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Essay on Strict Parenting

Students are often asked to write an essay on Strict Parenting in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Strict Parenting

What is strict parenting.

Strict parenting is a style of parenting that places a strong emphasis on discipline, obedience, and respect for authority. Strict parents set high expectations for their children and may use punishment to enforce those expectations.

Effects of Strict Parenting

Strict parenting can have both positive and negative effects on children. On the positive side, it can help children develop a strong work ethic, self-discipline, and respect for authority. On the negative side, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

Is Strict Parenting Good?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether strict parenting is good or not. The best approach to parenting will vary depending on the individual child and family. However, it is important to remember that children need love, support, and encouragement in order to thrive.

Alternatives to Strict Parenting

There are many other parenting styles that can be just as effective as strict parenting without the negative consequences. These include authoritative parenting, which is characterized by high expectations and warmth, and permissive parenting, which is characterized by low expectations and high levels of warmth.

250 Words Essay on Strict Parenting

Strict parenting is a style of parenting that involves high expectations, close monitoring, and harsh punishment. Parents who are strict may have a strong belief in discipline and may use physical or emotional punishment to enforce their rules.

Strict parenting can have both positive and negative effects on children. On the positive side, strict parenting can help children to develop self-discipline, respect for authority, and good manners. It can also help children to learn how to control their emotions and to behave appropriately in social situations. On the negative side, strict parenting can lead to problems such as low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, and rebelliousness. It can also damage the parent-child relationship and make it difficult for children to communicate openly with their parents.

There are many alternatives to strict parenting that can be just as effective in raising healthy, well-behaved children. These alternatives include positive parenting, authoritative parenting, and attachment parenting. Positive parenting focuses on praise and encouragement rather than punishment. Authoritative parenting involves setting clear limits and expectations for children, but also being responsive to their needs. Attachment parenting focuses on creating a close, loving bond between parent and child.

Strict parenting can have both positive and negative effects on children. It is important for parents to be aware of the potential risks and benefits of strict parenting and to choose a parenting style that is right for their child. There are many alternatives to strict parenting that can be just as effective in raising healthy, well-behaved children.

500 Words Essay on Strict Parenting

Strict parenting: a double-edged sword.

Strict parenting is a style of parenting that emphasizes discipline, control, and high expectations. Parents who take this approach typically set clear rules and boundaries for their children and enforce them consistently. While strict parenting can have some benefits, such as teaching children self-discipline and respect for authority, it can also have negative consequences for children’s emotional and psychological well-being.

Benefits of Strict Parenting

One of the potential benefits of strict parenting is that it can help children learn self-discipline. When children are expected to follow rules and behave in a certain way, they learn to control their impulses and make good choices. This can help them succeed in school and in life.

Strict parenting can also help children learn respect for authority. When parents set clear rules and expectations, children learn that they need to obey those in charge. This can help them develop a sense of respect for authority figures, such as teachers and police officers.

Drawbacks of Strict Parenting

While strict parenting can have some benefits, it can also have negative consequences for children’s emotional and psychological well-being. Children who are raised with strict parenting may be more likely to experience anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. They may also be more likely to have difficulty forming healthy relationships with others.

Strict parenting can also lead to rebellion. When children feel like they are being controlled too much, they may start to push back against their parents. This can lead to conflict and tension in the family. In some cases, children may even run away from home.

The Importance of Balance

The key to effective parenting is to find a balance between strictness and permissiveness. Parents who are too strict may stifle their children’s independence and creativity. Parents who are too permissive may not provide their children with the structure and guidance they need to succeed.

The best approach to parenting is one that is tailored to the individual child. Some children need more structure and discipline than others. Parents need to be able to assess their child’s needs and adjust their parenting style accordingly.

Strict parenting can have both positive and negative consequences for children. On the one hand, it can help children learn self-discipline and respect for authority. On the other hand, it can also lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The key to effective parenting is to find a balance between strictness and permissiveness.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Parenting Styles — The Debate Over Strict Parenting: Rearing Children

The Debate Over Strict Parenting: Rearing Children

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Published: Jan 31, 2024

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How Strict Parents Can Actually Make Their Teens More Rebellious

Overly strict parents can impact the honesty of their teens. In this Teen Talk, one teenager shows how excessive restrictions can be detrimental to a parent-teen relationship. An expert weighs in on what parents need to know.

When I was in the seventh and eighth grade, I had a friend who had really strict parents. She was not allowed to have a phone, use social media, and rarely got permission to hang out with friends. Regardless of these strict rules, she did all the things her parents tried to restrict. She had a Snapchat, a boyfriend, and even would sneak out of her house at night. She would constantly share stories about how she would smoke and drink with her friends and all the times she had sent nude photos to boys online. Despite her parents placing a lot of restrictions on her, she found ways to surpass them. She secretly became their worst nightmare.

Being a teenager is difficult—we are figuring out our own identities independent of who our parents want us to be while navigating where we fit in our communities. Growing up without permission and guidance as we explore and learn makes the teen years even harder. Strict parents may feel like they are doing the right things to protect their children, but a lack of communication when setting hard rules can damage honesty in a parent-child relationship.

My friends' experience is not unusual. As a 17-year-old, I hear lots of stories about sneaking out, sneaking alcohol, and sneaking partners over. I know teens who will deliberately leave their phones home while they sneak off to other places in case the tracking app gives away their plan. Parents set these precautions and restrictions to keep kids safe, but without open communication, they set teens up to practice even riskier behaviors. When we leave our phones at home to avoid being tracked, we risk not being able to contact someone in an emergency. When we don't feel trusted, we are less likely to open up to our parents. When we feel judged and misunderstood, we don't ask for help that we desperately need.

Emily Edlynn, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and mom of three, points to research for setting rules and boundaries for kids. "Research supports that parents who express openness to debate and negotiation rather than demanding obedience have psychologically healthier children," says Dr. Edlynn, who is the author of The Art and Science of Mom parenting blog, as well as the upcoming parenting book Parenting for Autonomy .

There's also the whole psychological reactance aspect—when someone is being told not to do something, it increases their desire to do it because they feel a threat to their behavioral freedom. "When parents maintain strict rules without accommodating a teenager's growing need for independence, these teens are more likely to struggle with mental health problems and risky behaviors like substance use," says Dr. Edlynn. "When a teenager feels like they cannot openly debate rules, they end up asserting their independence in these less healthy ways."

We Want To Be Trusted

It's completely natural for a teen to want to experience common things like parties and relationships and we should not be villainized for having this desire. When my parents give me freedom to have these experiences while maintaining a presence in my life to talk through the more complicated moments, I'm more comfortable opening up to them.

I do recognize that strict parenting comes from a place of love and worry. However, it is important to trust that your teen can make responsible decisions. It is also helpful for your teen to know that you are there to help them pick up the pieces if they do make a mistake. By building trust, you will find your teen will feel more comfortable being honest around you. It will also prepare them for adulthood. Practicing safe choices now can lead to safe choices later.

We Want a Healthy Amount of Restrictions

Even though it may seem like we are fighting for complete freedom right now, we actually do want some restrictions. They help us set boundaries with our friends and stay within our own comfort zones. The point is we don't want our parents to go overboard with rules. Involve us in setting the rules—we might actually agree to no phones before bed and our curfews. If we are still able to have room to make decisions for ourselves and experience normal teenage activities, limitations can work just fine.

We Want To Feel Understood

We are growing and need social interactions and experiences to thrive. Talk to us without judgment or anger when we approach you with our possible evening plans. If we are wearing an outfit you don't approve of, ask us what we like about it and we can find a compromise that feels comfortable for both of us. Combating these situations with negativity and enforcement can make us feel belittled. Sometimes all we want as teens is to feel like we are treated with respect.

An Expert Weighs In

"To support a teen's healthy development while maintaining healthy boundaries, ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective and collaborate with them on ways to modify household rules and expectations," says Dr. Edlynn. "This process encourages critical thinking and demonstrates that you value their opinion, even if a rule change ends up being a compromise."

Related Articles

• My Parents Essay

500 Words Essay On My Parents

We entered this world because of our parents. It is our parents who have given us life and we must learn to be pleased with it. I am grateful to my parents for everything they do for me. Through my parents essay, I wish to convey how valuable they are to me and how much I respect and admire them.

My Strength My Parents Essay

My parents are my strength who support me at every stage of life. I cannot imagine my life without them. My parents are like a guiding light who take me to the right path whenever I get lost.

My mother is a homemaker and she is the strongest woman I know. She helps me with my work and feeds me delicious foods . She was a teacher but left the job to take care of her children.

My mother makes many sacrifices for us that we are not even aware of. She always takes care of us and puts us before herself. She never wakes up late. Moreover, she is like a glue that binds us together as a family.

Parents are the strength and support system of their children. They carry with them so many responsibilities yet they never show it. We must be thankful to have parents in our lives as not everyone is lucky to have them.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

While my mother is always working at home, my father is the one who works outside. He is a kind human who always helps out my mother whenever he can. He is a loving man who helps out the needy too.

My father is a social person who interacts with our neighbours too. Moreover, he is an expert at maintaining his relationship with our relatives. My father works as a businessman and does a lot of hard work.

Even though he is a busy man, he always finds time for us. We spend our off days going to picnics or dinners. I admire my father for doing so much for us without any complaints.

He is a popular man in society as he is always there to help others. Whoever asks for his help, my father always helps them out. Therefore, he is a well-known man and a loving father whom I look up to.

Conclusion of My Parents Essay

I love both my parents with all my heart. They are kind people who have taught their children to be the same. Moreover, even when they have arguments, they always make up without letting it affect us. I aspire to become like my parents and achieve success in life with their blessings.

FAQ of My Parents Essay

Question 1: Why parents are important in our life?

Answer 1: Parents are the most precious gifts anyone can get. However, as not everyone has them, we must consider ourselves lucky if we do. They are the strength and support system of children and help them out always. Moreover, the parents train the children to overcome challenges and make the best decision for us.

Question 2: What do parents mean to us?

Answer 2: Parents mean different things to different people. To most of us, they are our source of happiness and protection. They are the ones who are the closest to us and understand our needs without having to say them out loud. Similarly, they love us unconditionally for who we are without any ifs and buts.

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Why Are Parents So Strict (Essay Sample)

Why are parents so strict.

Parents are so strict because of life experience. For once in everybody’s life, one has become a child, teenager and an adult. The parents has seen it all before their children. Life experience has taught them to provide rules and regulations within the household and to impose these rules strictly towards their children.

Life experience may differ from one to another. A person may have a happy childhood. Others may have experienced hardship at such a young age. Pain, suffering, agony, happiness, joy, love, and even anger has molded the characteristics of a person.

Education may also be a contributing factor to how life experience may teach us. Life in school a major factor that molds a person. The teachers who teach the students more than what the book can provide. The environment created by the school also adds up to the experience of a person in life – friends and teachers. The teachers being that they are also considered a parent within the school premises provide learning to the children. Education is a big factor to the life experience of a person.

A person may take life experience – whether painful or not – positively, the others may take it negatively. It depends also in the perspective of a person. It also depends on how the parents taught the parents now.

The premise however of the actions of the parents toward their children is unconditional love. The love of the parents pushes them to be strict about their children because they do not want the latter to experience the mistakes that the parents experienced when they were young. Just as what they say, they have been there and done that.

On the other hand, the parents may also be strict because of the influence of their environment and culture. It is a domino effect. If the parents of the parents now were strict to them, they may also be strict to their children. The strictness may also be passed on to the next generation.

Eastern culture remains to have strict parents. There is a tight bond between the members of the family. Chinese people for example are strict towards their children because this is what their culture dictates. Parents dictate the life of their children. There are other families in the eastern culture who still impose capital punishment towards their children to discipline them. Obedience is a must for the children. The respect and moral ascendancy is highly regarded to the parents in this culture. The children in the eastern culture are driven to always succeed in every endeavor. Success is very important in this culture.

In Western Countries, the parents are less strict to their children. The discipline is different. The parents ground their children whenever they disobeyed rules. The schools have detention rooms where the children are locked in for hours to teach them a lesson. In the United States, the moment their children come of age, they are already emancipated from their parents. Unlike the eastern culture, there is no pressure towards the children to be successful in life.

Parents are strict because of life experience. This may be broken down to two factors: personal experience of the parents and the culture of the parents. The personal experience of a person drives them to provide a better life for their children. It may come off to be regarded as harsh for the children but it is the way that the parents know how. The culture, on the other hand, imposes the parents to be strict to their children. The strictness is not alien to every household because this is already deeply inculcated to their culture.

Home / Essay Samples / Life / Parenting Styles / Parenting Styles: The Impact of Strictness and Leniency

Parenting Styles: The Impact of Strictness and Leniency

• Category: Life
• Topic: Parenting , Parenting Styles , Parents

Pages: 2 (934 words)

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