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Who Is the Real Mary Austin, Freddie Mercury’s Girlfriend?
Mary Austin is a private woman who prefers to keep information about her life and her relationship with Freddie Mercury a secret. Thanks to the monster success of the Bohemian Rhapsody movie, she has been thrust into the limelight once again.
In fact, she worked closely with the director of the movie to ensure the film’s authenticity (mostly). But who is Mary Austin, and what was her relationship with Freddie really like? What did the movie get right — and wrong — about their lives?
Before Queen: Part 1
Born in 1951 in the Fulham area in London, Mary Austin came from a family of very modest means. Little is known about her parents or her extended family, but Mary has stated that she always wanted to make a good living since she was a teenager.
Ironically, she ended up choosing to stay home and has been a homemaker for most of her life. Mary is a high school graduate and a Christian, and her favorite colors are red and blue. She loves to read, listen to music and travel. Her favorite actors are Jeremy Irons and Julie Walters, and she loves Italian food.
Before Queen: Part 2
Before Mary met Freddie Mercury, she was in a relationship with another future Queen band member, Brian May. They dated for a bit but broke up over undisclosed differences. May is the one who first introduced Freddie to Mary.
“Strangely enough, Mary was the girl that I picked out as somebody fabulous, and I was kind of going out with her, and Freddie came up to me one day and said, ‘Are you serious with Mary? Can I ask her out? And he did, and they were lovers for a long time,” Brian May told Yahoo! Music .
The Fated Meeting
Mary met Freddie in 1969 when she was 19 years old and working in an English boutique called Biba. Freddie was 24 at the time, and he already knew he wanted to be a rock star — although he was a singer without a band at the time. Mary was impressed with the way he dressed and his interesting face.
“He was like no one I had met before. He was very confident — something I have never been. We grew together.” Mary has always said they had a lot in common and could talk easily about fashion, music and art together.
The Beginning of a Relationship
Brian May knew his relationship with Mary Austin wasn’t going anywhere. “She was wary of anyone, and so we’d generally just go out for a drink and say goodnight and have a quick peck on the cheek, and that was it really,” he said in Somebody to Love .
May encouraged Freddie to pursue Mary, and Freddie asked her out on his birthday — but she rejected him. “I was trying to be cool. Not because there was any reason I couldn’t go. But Freddie wasn’t put off; we went out the next day instead.”
Living Together for the First Time
It didn’t take long for Mary and Freddie to begin living together, although she admits it took her a while to fall in love with the singer. When she did, she fell deeply: “His pain became my pain. His joy became my joy,” Mary said.
The relationship moved quickly, and after five months, they moved in to a small flat in London. They weren’t well off and had to share a bathroom and kitchen with someone else. They couldn’t even afford to hang curtains on all the windows in the apartment.
Moving to a Better Place
The couple was eventually able to afford a larger apartment, but it took a few years. By that time, Mary had fallen desperately in love with Freddie. In fact, she said she had never felt as in love as she did then.
She continued working at Biba for a while and enjoyed how much Freddie made her laugh at work. They had fun doing “normal things” like going to concerts, clubs and bars together. Even when Freddie became famous, the couple tried to act “normal” when they could.
Freddie’s Unexpected Proposal
On Christmas Day in 1973, Freddie proposed to Mary. It came as a huge surprise to her. She even asked him which hand the ring was supposed to go on.
“He bought me a ring and put it in the most enormous box. I opened the box, and inside was another box, and so it went on until I got to this very tiny box. When I opened it, there was this beautiful Egyptian scarab ring. It’s supposed to bring good luck. He was very sweet and shy about giving it to me.”
The End of Their Romantic Relationship
Despite their incredible love for each other, the couple’s relationship became a little rocky. Some rumors suggest Mary wanted to leave Freddie to find herself, but there has never been confirmation on her end. It did seem like she wanted out, and that could have been because she subconsciously knew about his sexuality.
Regardless, six years into the relationship, they were no longer discussing marriage. She finally told him, “Something is going on, and I just feel like a noose around your neck. I think it’s time for me to go.” Queen was becoming famous around the same time.
Freddie Confessed His Bisexuality
On multiple occasions, Freddie didn’t come home at night, and Mary suspected he was having an affair with another woman. By the time 1976 rolled around, Queen was an international success. One night, he sat her down and explained his sexual feelings to her.
“I’ll never forget that moment. Being a bit naive, it had taken me a while to realize the truth. Afterward, he felt good about having finally told me he was bisexual. Although I do remember saying to him at the time, ‘No Freddie, I don’t think you are bisexual. I think you are gay.'”
Moving Away from Freddie
Their physical and romantic relationship ended after he confessed, and Mary moved to a nearby apartment purchased for her by Freddie’s music publishing company. Even though they were no longer a couple, she remained in the band’s inner circle.
“She went on the road with them. There are photographs of them together backstage at concerts into the late ’70, by which stage they were no longer a couple,” said Mark Blake in a biography about the band. Blake also mentioned that Freddie’s inner circle knew he was gay and came to terms with him sleeping with men. Mary and Freddie maintained a great lifelong friendship.
Freddie’s Lavish Lifestyle vs. Mary’s Home Life
Mary stayed close to Freddie, but they began to live separate lives. While he gravitated to a life filled with sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, Mary started dating painter Pier Cameron and had two sons. One of her sons, Richard, was Freddie’s godson.
Eventually, it became clear to the media that Freddie was gay, and multiple slanderous campaigns were directed at him. Mary stood beside him through all of it, always providing a shoulder to cry on. He asked her in the ’80s to work for him and the band as a personal assistant.
Working as a Personal Assistant for Queen
Still actively involved in Freddie’s life, Mary became his personal assistant in the ’80s. She appeared with him on television and in photos a lot during that time. Most of the photos taken of them are from this era, and she was fond of being photographed with him.
Mary had a lot of different jobs while working with the band, including responsibility for paying monthly allowances to Freddie’s aides, including his romantic partner, Jim Hutton. Even though Hutton remained Freddie’s partner until his death, Mary remained closer to the frontman than anyone else.
Freddie’s AIDS Diagnosis
When Freddie was diagnosed with HIV, Mary felt like a truck hit her. In 1987, successful treatments for AIDS didn’t exist, and most people who tested HIV positive ended up with AIDS.
“He kept her close by when he became ill. The fact that she was so well looked after in the will — she got the house and a share of the publishing. He effectively left a lot to her as if he was leaving it to his widow. Mary was probably good at keeping him grounded. She had been there before the money, before the fame, and she was there at the end,” biographer Blake said.
Freddie’s Death: Part 1
Mary supported Freddie’s decision to keep his illness secret until he passed. She made the following comment shortly after he died:
“It was Freddie’s decision to finally end it all. He chose the time to die…he knew it was coming. The quality of his life had changed so dramatically, and he was in more pain every day. He was losing his sight. His body became weaker as he suffered mild fits. It was so distressing to see him deteriorating in this way. One day he decided enough was enough and stopped all the medical supplements that were keeping him going.”
Freddie’s Death: Part 2
Regarding visiting Freddie in the hospital, Mary said, “…it was upsetting. We were never allowed to get emotional around him, and that was hard.” She remained by his side when his health took a turn for the worse. They would often watch footage of Queen’s performances from years before that.
“The overwhelming thing for me was that he was just so incredibly brave. He looked death in the face and said, ‘Fine. I’ll accept it now — I’ll go.’ But it was peaceful, and he died with a smile on his face,” Mary said.
Mary’s Personal Grieving
When Freddie passed, Mary went through a long grieving process that continues to this day. She felt like she had lost someone she was married to — her eternal love. Mary remained close to Freddie throughout his illness, and watching him die was very difficult.
“When he died, I felt we’d had a marriage,” she told OK! “We’d done it for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. You could never have let go of Freddie unless he died — and even then, it was difficult,” Mary said, reflecting on his death.
Inheriting a Mansion and a Large Sum of Money
Freddie included Mary in his will, and after his death in 1991, she inherited half of his total fortune. He thought this might cause her some problems, and Mary felt uncomfortable accepting the house and money, but he insisted.
“Freddie’s staff had been like family to me, but after his death, most of them had left because he’d been so financially generous to them. I had sleepless nights worrying about everything. I felt as if I’d done something wrong, and paranoia set in. Some of the fans even told me I was only the keeper of the house. That hurt.”
The Family’s Thoughts on the Inheritance
Freddie left a considerable amount of his wealth to his sister and parents. His mother wasn’t upset by his inclusion of Mary and respected her son’s wishes. Mary was like family to his parents, and they acknowledged the joy she brought into their son’s life. Freddie’s partner and staff each received £500,000 .
Mary received half of his reported $75 million estate, along with his 28-room London mansion that she still lives in to this day. She never changed the decorating style of the house and kept much of the furniture Freddie bought before his passing.
Hiding Freddie’s Ashes
To this day, no one knows where Freddie’s ashes are buried. Mary promised Freddie that she would never tell anyone where they are. Freddie told her he didn’t want anyone to dig them up and take them. He knew “fans can be deeply obsessive. He wanted it to remain a secret, and it will remain so.”
She waited until two years after his death to secretly remove his ashes from his estate. Before moving them, she invited Freddie’s parents to say prayers, but they don’t actually know where she moved them.
Where Is Mary Now?
Mary had two children, Jamie and Richard, with painter Piers Cameron, but she didn’t actually marry him. She eventually married Nick Holford in 1998, but they divorced after five years. She currently lives in London in the mansion Freddie left her, and fans often walk by the house to pay their respects.
“I lost my family, really, when Freddie died. He was everything to me, apart from my sons. He was like no one I had met before.” Mary never got over Freddie entirely, and he still remains her one true love.
Helping Freddie Kick His Drug Addiction
Freddie was well known for his lavish parties, which were way crazier in reality than they were in the movie. It’s hard to separate fact from fiction in terms of crazy things that happened, but there were strange rumors of people wearing meat and walking around naked.
Mary watched him overdo things for a while, but she started to get really concerned when he became distant and always seemed to be ill. They didn’t know at the time that he had contracted HIV, but she actively worked to help him quit using LSD and heroin, two drugs he frequently abused.
Bonding Over Strained Parental Relationships
Both of Mary’s parents were deaf, and she grew up quite poor. Her father trimmed wallpaper for a living, while her mother was a domestic worker. Back in those days, if the mother worked outside the home, it was usually for economic reasons.
Bomi and Jer Bulsara, Freddie’s parents, were very strict and didn’t understand Freddie’s desire to be a rock star. Kashmira, Freddie’s sister, talked about the frequent door slamming after he fought with his parents about going out. Mary and Freddie bonded over their rocky relationships with their parents.
Various Other Female Lovers
That’s right. Even though Mary Austin was the love of Freddie’s life, he did have other female lovers after Mary. Some of his female lovers include former Drifters manager Faye Treadwell, Barbara Valentin and Mary Martin. Freddie always made it clear that none of them even came close to Mary.
“Ours is a pure friendship but friendship of the highest standard. It’s an instinctive thing. I still love her. We’ll probably grow old together,” Freddie said after he was asked about his other relationships. Although he preferred relationships with men, he did date women.
Longing for Freddie’s Child
It’s a weird fact, but it’s true that Mary wanted to have Freddie’s child, long after they had broken up and she already had her first child. Even stranger, this occurred during the time when Freddie was at his most wild. Of course, it’s possible she asked him to have a baby because she wanted to keep a part of him forever.
Freddie apparently told her, “I still love you, but I can’t make love to you. I’d rather have another cat.” Not surprising, considering he had more than 10 cats living with him at one point.
A Mostly Accurate Film
The Bohemian Rhapsody movie portrayed the couple as being extremely close, and that was completely true. Other accurate elements in the film include the falling apart of their romantic relationship, how they maintained their friendship for the rest of his life and how Freddie reacted when he found out Mary was married.
The movie also accurately revealed Freddie’s tendency to call Mary on a regular basis to ask her how she was doing. It was a really cute, thoughtful, accurate addition to the movie.
About All Those Cheating Rumors
Sadly, when Freddie was coming to terms with his sexuality, he struggled with curiosity about being with men. As a result, he cheated on Mary multiple times, and he didn’t tell her for several years. Mary was increasingly suspicious of his behavior. He avoided a lot of personal situations, including going out with her, and often lied about where he was.
Mary finally confronted him, and this scene also played out in the movie, manifesting in her telling him she thinks he’s gay. This eventually led to their romantic break-up and their long-term friendship.
Is “Love of My Life” About Mary?
Yes, the love ballad — and smash hit — “Love of My Life” was written about Mary. Freddie had stated in the past that their love affair was truly dead and had ended in tears. Still, a deep bond grew out of that pain, and it was something no one could take away from them.
“Love is the hardest thing to achieve, and the one thing in this business that can let you down the most… I have built up an immense bond with Mary. [We] have gone through just about everything, and [she has] always been there for me.”
Making a Fortune from Bohemian Rhapsody
Bohemian Rhapsody had a budget of $52 million, but the movie earned a worldwide gross of $903.7 million. Rami Malek’s portrayal of Freddie was adored by fans as well as the remaining band members of Queen. Mary Austin — portrayed by Lucy Boynton — played a significant role in the film.
Mary currently owns 75% of Freddie’s total future earnings — after the passing of his parents — so she made approximately $60 million off the movie. Freddie’s sister received around $25 million, and the remaining members of Queen earned $90 million each. Mary will continue to collect royalties from the movie for a while.
Likely Bisexual Rather Than Gay
Even though Mary told Freddie he was gay, it was likely what she needed to believe to protect her heart from what was happening. Freddie chose to have relationships with women long after he was outed for having relationships with men. He couldn’t hide his sexuality from the media, although he never publicly admitted he was bisexual.
Freddie continued to battle with the media and others about his sexuality. Bisexuality wasn’t a common term, and people generally saw the issue in absolute terms — either gay or straight. Mary’s belief simply reflected what people thought about homosexuality at the time.
Locking in the Perfect Portrayal of Mary Austin
“Brian May was my main source of information about all things, Mary,” Lucy Boynton said. “He was actually the person who introduced Freddie and Mary. But talking to his wife, Anita Dobson, as well… she spent a lot of time with Mary when they would travel with the band.
“And so, just to get that insight into Mary — not when she was even with Freddie, but just her, on her own, in a kind of intimate environment, as Anita was with her — to get that kind of insight into her was very unique and special.”
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Home • Life and Relationship • Relationships
30+ Apology Letters To Girlfriend For Hurting Her Feelings
Your guide to writing a heartfelt apology letter to your girlfriend.
Clifton Riley CTHF, CLC, CMS
Specialty: Relationship Instructor, Life Coach
Experience: 30 years
Clifton Riley is a talk show host, podcaster, author, life coach, certified trauma healing facilitator, licensed relationship instructor, certified biblical counselor, licensed minister, and keynote speaker with 30 years of experience.H... more
ratika pai M.Com
Specialty: Love, Marriage and Relationships
Experience: 6 years
Ratika holds a master's degree in commerce and a post-graduate diploma in communication and journalism from Mumbai University. She has 6 years of experience writing in various fields, such as finance,... more
akshay nair MA
Specialty: Love, Marriage, Relationships
Experience: 4.5 years
Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with more than four years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in... more
Apologizing for mistakes strengthens relationships and fosters trust. So, if you have said or done something that has hurt your girlfriend, don’t hesitate to say sorry. But, if words are your enemy, take inspiration from the sample sorry/apology letter to girlfriend shared in this post.
Scroll down if you are looking for various ways to express your regret and apologize to the one you love. With the help of these apology messages for her, you can draft a personalized letter to let your girlfriend express how sorry you are. Besides, expressing your regret and emotions will open a communication channel that may help you woo her.
31 Sample Sorry/Apology Letters To Your Girlfriend
Take a look at these ideas about sending sorry messages to your girlfriend below, and try to write something similar to tell your loved one that you are truly sorry.
1. My baby,
I know I am not perfect. But I also know that I love you more than anyone ever will. And this love for you in my heart feels heavy when you are not around to receive it.
Please forgive me for what I did. I wish I could go back in time and change my actions. Please give me a chance to make it up to you. Come back, baby. I promise to never behave in the same way again.
2. My sweet [Name],
I admit I was wrong in not listening to you. I’m sorry for failing you. Trust me, baby, I’m trying hard to be the one to protect you and working toward being the best version of myself. I want you to be proud of me.
Please accept my apology. And if I ever happen to hurt you, fight with me but don’t ever shut me out of your life. It’s unbearable.
I’m sorry I ignored you each time you reached out to me. I’m sorry I shut myself off from you. I’m sorry I took the easy way out instead of facing the problem and talking it out with you. I realize my mistake, and I regret being so difficult for you to deal with.
I admit I acted like a coward, but now, I have decided to fight for us and resolve our problems. Please give me a chance to do the right thing.
4. Dear [Name],
I thought I would come to your house and talk to you, but I was afraid you might shut the door on my face after what happened, so I’ve decided to write you a letter .
I can’t express how much I regret my actions. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you have always shown me kindness and compassion, yet I took you for granted.
I know I’ve hurt you. I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I shouldn’t have behaved the way I did. I want you to know that I love you and will do anything for you to forgive me and allow me back into your life.
5. Sweet [Name],
The thought of you hating me and not wanting to see me again pains my heart immensely. I cannot tell you how much I miss you and want to hear you say that everything will be alright. I’m sorry, baby. I know I have hurt you deeply this time, and your anger is justified. I deserve to be ignored.
You are the only woman in my life, and there is no way anyone can ever take your place. I loved you the very first moment I saw you, and I will love you for as long as time exists. I hope, someday, this bitterness fades away, and you find the heart to forgive me.
6. My lovely [Name],
I tried calling you, but you never answered. I texted you, but you never replied. So, I’m doing it the old-school way and writing this letter to you. I am sorry for everything I did that day. I know I make mistakes, and sometimes, the same mistakes repeatedly. And you have every right to hate me.
Please know that you mean the world to me, and without you, my life feels empty. And I know that you love me too. You may be angry with me now, but I know that when the anger subsides, you will miss me.I know you’re angry right now, but when the anger subsides, I hope you’ll remember the deep love we share. Just know that I am waiting right here with my arms open to hug you and never let you go again. I miss you,
I miss you,
7. Dear [Name],
From the time we started dating , I understood that you are the most wonderful woman I have ever met, and only you could fill the void in my heart with your love. But the selfish guy that I am, I kept accepting your love and never gave you anything in return. You have put up with all my crazy antics and never once complained.
I feel deep sorrow because hurting an amazing woman like you is the cruelest thing I’ve ever done. And I regret it with every single breath that I take. I’m sorry, my love; I really am. I can’t believe I said those hurtful words to you. You can be as angry as you want, but please do not cut me off from your life. Please give me a chance for atonement.
Related: 15 Emotional And Sad Goodbye Letters To A Lover
8. Dearest [Name],
I knew you were the one for me from the moment I set eyes on you. I never imagined there would come such a time when we wouldn’t talk to each other. Sadly, my lack of control over my bad habits has brought us to this place where we have gone for days without exchanging words between us.
This is a letter of penitence, I want to tell you that I am extremely sorry for breaking my promise and letting you down yet again. Baby, I try my best to stay away from my vices, but sometimes, I falter, and I need you to hold my hand and help me stand up again. I cannot do it alone. I need you, my love. Please forgive me.
9. Dear [Name],
In the last few years that we have been together, I have realized that whenever you are cheerful, I feel happy too. And whenever you are upset, my life feels gloomy too. This time, I am the reason you feel so low, and I cannot tell you how awful I feel about it.
I never intended to hurt you. I know you are trying to act normal with me, but I can see the disappointment in your eyes, and it pricks my heart. Please reprimand me for my actions, but do not hide your feelings. I promise never to be inconsiderate to you again. Remember that I love you more than anything.
10. My love,
The first time we met, you told me that I was the kindest person you have ever come across. I am still the same person. I know I acted foolishly the other day, and I wish I could take back the words I never meant to say to you. But I can’t do that, so I will try my best to make it up to you in a conciliatory manner.
I am sorry, sweetheart. To make it up to you, I wish to spend some time with you at any vacation place of your choice. Let’s resolve this misunderstanding as soon as possible and get to know each other a little better. I promise this will be the vacation of a lifetime. Just give me one chance to work on our relationship .
11. Dear [Name],
We both know that things have become strained between us lately. And I admit it is my fault that our relationship is suffering. I have been unable to balance my work and personal life, and I see how much you have been struggling to save our relationship.
I am sorry, darling, for causing you so much distress. I am sorry for not sharing responsibilities. You were right; I am indeed an idiot — but an idiot who loves you beyond measure. I want to go back to our ‘sweet love’ phase. Please accept my apology and give me a chance to get my act together. I hope you are not regretting your decision to be with me because I promise to work on myself and be the man you fell in love with.
Love you always!
12. My love,
I can bear every pain in this world but not the pain of separation from you. I haven’t been myself lately, and it is because I miss you so much. Your absence has made me realize your importance in my life, and I can no longer deny the fact that life feels meaningless without you.
I know my addictions bother you, and you are right in chastising me for it. I know you do it out of love and concern.
Sometimes, I am not in the right state of mind to hear you out, so I take snap decisions. I am extremely sorry for my behavior. Please do not hate me for my imperfections. You are my reason to smile, and I cannot lose you for anything. Please listen to my plea.
I miss you.
13. Dear [Name],
I am sorry for acting the way I did the other day. The past year has been challenging for both of us. And, sometimes, the struggle gets so frustrating that it slips out as rude and hurtful remarks.
I admit my reaction was uncalled for, and I accept my mistake. I promise it will never happen again. Please continue to love me the way you always do. I believe in us and that our love will help us overcome every difficult phase.
I love you,
14. Dearest [Name],
On our first Valentine’s day together, we had both promised to love and cherish each other. We had promised to always resolve differences quickly and never hold grudges. But it looks like we have both forgotten our promises as we continue to ignore each other for another week.
But I now wish to humble myself, wave the white flag and call off our cold war. I am really sorry for not giving you a chance to speak and walking out of the room. Baby, let’s kiss and make up. I love you. See you in the evening.
15. Dear [Name],
I can give up anything in life, but I can never give up on us. Know why? Because I have never loved anyone the way I love you . Your love can take the place of blood in my veins, and I will still live happily.
I am sorry I hurt you. I know you deserve better, and so, I promise to work on improving myself. I cannot envision my life without you because there’s no point in living a life with no purpose. My purpose is to make you happy, for which I need you in my life. Please do not give up on me. Give me another chance, and I won’t disappoint you this time.
16. My dear love,
I am really sorry for yelling at you and offending your feelings. I am fully aware of how horribly insulting my remarks were. I understand that it may appear as though I don’t respect you or take you seriously, but I want you to trust me when I tell you that my remarks yesterday were motivated by rage over an incident at work.
I promise not to let my actions hurt you again since you mean the world to me. Please, if you can, find it in your heart to forgive me.
17. My angel,
I’m willing to confess that yesterday’s acts were impulsive, and if time could be turned back, I’d quickly undo whatever took place. Unfortunately, I have no control over that. I can only apologize to you from the bottom of my heart, though. You are the most amazing lady I’ve ever had the honor to know, my soul mate, and the love of my life.
I’m determined to make sure I never hurt you again. Please accept my sincere apologies.
18. Dear [Name],
I’m writing this letter hoping that you will pardon me because I am embarrassed by how I feel today, speechless, and unable to face you. Whatever occurred yesterday was wrong, and I am very sorry for it. I should have dealt with the situation head-on instead of venting my annoyance at you.
Please give me a chance to make amends and do what’s right. I will never allow myself to behave like this ever again. I am so sorry.
19. My sweetie pie,
I can feel your annoyance with me even from a distance. Why won’t you be? After all, I made a big mistake by missing your birthday. Give me a chance to explain. I booked a flight so I could surprise you by coming to your house. I was requested to work on a presentation that I needed to present in two days while also attending a crucial meeting.
I am sending a present to the most significant person in my life along with this letter since I am aware that my actions do not justify what I did. I apologize, and I assure you that we will celebrate your birthday next week.
Your one and only,
20. My sweetheart,
I was unable to receive your numerous calls today. It was completely unintentional, as I was fully engrossed in my work. I understand that your numerous calls suggest that it was something urgent, and I hate I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.
I’m ready to do anything you wish to make up for my mistake. I hope you find it in you to forgive me. I love you.
21. My baby angel,
I understand that trust, once shattered, can never be rebuilt. And despite knowing this, I have lied to you several times. I can sense the pain they have caused you, and that is hurting my soul. Today, I have mustered all my courage to write you this letter of apology for all the times I have lied to you.
The last thing I can see in the world is see you hurt. Please give me another chance so I can be a better boyfriend to you.
22. My love,
I realize that I should have wholeheartedly listened to you last evening. Your intention was simply to open up and share your concerns with me, with the hope of resolving them together. Unfortunately, my mind was preoccupied with other matters, and I failed to prioritize you as I should have.
I now see how selfish I was and assure you that if I ever repeat such behavior, please fight me, but please don’t consider leaving me. The thought of losing you is unbearable, and I hope you can forgive me.
23. My princess,
I can see why you might be upset that I didn’t pick up the phone when you called. I apologize for not responding sooner. I didn’t want to communicate because I was in a very depressed state. I withdrew rather than addressing my emotions. I’m aware that it was impolite, and I won’t repeat it. My love, I sincerely apologize. I long to embrace you tightly!
24. Honey, listen!
I know you’re angry with me, and if I were in your position, I wouldn’t want to chat right now. I know it shouldn’t always be about me, but I’m hoping you’ll let me say what’s on my mind. You’re 100% correct, and I didn’t give a damn about how you were feeling. I’m determined to get better in that area. Currently, I don’t feel okay without you, and I kindly ask you to come home. We can work through this together. Whenever you’re ready, please reach out.
25. Dearest [Name],
I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have someone as amazing as you in my life, almost like a goddess. However, I now understand that I made a mistake and compromised my friendship with the most exceptional person I know. I’ve come to terms with how terrible my error was, and I’m ready to atone and win your affection once more.
I’ve learned how much I love you because of your absence, and if you decide to come back into my life, I promise to cherish you dearly. Please think about bringing me back.
26. Hi sweetie,
Since you’ve known me for a while, you are aware that despite my best efforts, I might not always be able to express my regrets in the most effective manner. So, if I don’t say it right, please accept my apology.
My love for you is boundless, and I can’t bear the thought of living without you by my side. Please forgive me.
27. My dearest [Name],
I made a mistake, and I’m aware that it’ll take some time for the wounds to mend. I made careless, inconsiderate decisions that marred our relationship. If you’re not ready to talk to me, I entirely understand, and I’m willing to be patient while you work through this.
Please understand that my love for you endures and that I’m committed to keep you around even while you recover. I’ve learned from my mistakes and am committed to treating you with the appreciation and love you deserve.
28. Hey you,
I’m aware we had plans, but I apologize because I forgot and had other obligations. I realize it can appear that I give other things more priority than our goals and don’t prioritize them, but please believe me when I say that nobody is more important to me than you in my life. I’m genuinely sorry that our plans didn’t work out. Maybe we can share calendars to plan everything together? This will ensure I never forget important dates again. Could we schedule another date so I can make things right?
Hope to hear from you soon.
29.To the sweetest girlfriend in the world,
I hate that I forgot our anniversary. I’m sorry I was so careless; you are the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m determined to do everything in my power to be the best partner, boyfriend, and man I can be for you. Give me a chance to make things right, please. Tonight, just you and I, let’s go on a date to see your favorite movie. I’ll make sure the evening is memorable.
I love you forever, and I will always cherish the day you became mine.
30. My dearest [Name],
I want to sincerely apologize for being unable to make it to your parents’ anniversary celebration. I recognize the significance of it to you and your family. I ought to have been there to encourage you and take part in this happy occasion with you. Please know that I truly care about you and your family, and missing this event is an unforgivable mistake on my part. I promise to make it up to you and your parents in any way I can.
Once again, I’m really sorry for my absence, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
31. My world,
I recognize that you’re furious and don’t want to chat right now. You obviously need some space right now; that much is obvious. I apologize for not completely appreciating your feelings in the past and admit that if the roles were reversed, I probably would feel the same way. You’re 100% right; at this point, it should be about your feelings, not mine.
I understand I should put your well-being first and be sensitive to others’ feelings. But right now, without you, I feel so empty. I’m hoping we can come up with a solution to our problems so that we can tackle them together as a team.
Allow yourself as much time as necessary to digest your emotions before reaching out.
An apology letter becomes meaningful only when it comes from the heart. You do not need to have great writing skills to write an apology letter. The sincere regret and feelings of true remorse in your heart will make the words flow automatically onto the paper.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How can I show my girlfriend that I am committed to making things right through an apology letter?
Begin your sorry letter with a heartfelt apology for the pain you caused her. Own up to your mistake without offering excuses or justifications. Instead, express your remorse and willingness to make amends. Reassure her of your commitment to change and avoid repeating the same mistake. Be sincere in your words and actions, and do not write anything that you do not mean just because you want to win her over again.
2. How to apologize to my girlfriend with a letter to start a conversation and rebuild trust with my girlfriend?
An apology can effectively repair your relationship with your girlfriend and win her trust back. For that, start by apologizing for your actions that broke her trust. Then, give your girlfriend time to process her emotions without putting her under undue pressure to forgive you. Remember, rebuilding trust takes time and effort. So, give her ample time she needs and be sincere in your apology.
3. What are some common mistakes to avoid when writing an apology letter to my girlfriend?
Avoid making excuses and passing the blame on others. Do not be defensive or argumentative, and refrain from making unrealistic promises. Ignoring your girlfriend’s feelings and playing the victim in the situation are a few other things that may make your apology letter look insincere, insensitive, and fake.
4. How can I take responsibility for my actions and apologize to my girlfriend in a letter?
Discuss what happened and how things went out of hand. Acknowledge your mistake and apologize. Show your commitment to working on yourself and ask your girlfriend for suggestions that she may think can help you be a good companion or partner.
If you’ve made a mistake or hurt your girlfriend somehow, you should apologize to her to console her and strengthen your relationship. In recent years, people have gone digital with their apologies and prefer to do it over text or email. However, if you wish to make your apology unique and meaningful, write an apology letter to your girlfriend. If you have never written a letter and are apprehensive about it, reading the letters provided above will help. Choose the one that will melt your girlfriend’s heart and personalize it by adding your own emotions. Your girlfriend will surely appreciate the extra effort and accept your apology.
Infographic: Points To Remember While Writing An Apology Letter
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21 Samples for Apology Letter to Girlfriend to Let Her Know You Are Sorry
Whether you have missed her birthday or dodged her calls, sending a heartfelt apology letter to your girlfriend can make everything right in the end.
Apologizing to your girlfriend can seem like a challenging task, but with these sorry letters, you can melt her heart and ask for forgiveness. Make sure to have a sincere approach towards writing and show your remorse through a sorry letter to your girlfriend.
How to Write an Apology Letter to Girlfriend?
- Be genuine in your approach.
- Accept your mistake wholeheartedly.
- Let her know she means the world to you.
- Promise that the mistake won't ever happen again.
- Take responsibility for your mistake.
- End the letter positively.
Sample Apology Letters to Write to Your Girlfriend for Making Her Sad
Genuine apology letter to girlfriend after hurting her.
- My dear love,
I feel extremely sorry for hurting your feelings and shouting at you. I know it was very disrespectful of me to say mean things. It may seem like I don't respect you or take you for granted, but trust me what I said yesterday was only because I was angry due to something that happened at work. You are my world, and I promise to never hurt you again. Please forgive me .
Deep Apology Letter to Girlfriend
2. My dearest
I have hurt you deeply and am drowning in the pit of remorse. I have done you wrong and treated you badly for which I feel extremely guilty. Since the time you entered my life, everything has been so rosy and beautiful. You are my guiding angel and my life revolves around you. Please accept my apology so that I can hug you tightly and never let you go.
Heartfelt Apology Letter for Her
3. My dearest love,
I acted foolishly yesterday, and if I could turn back time, I would happily go back and erase whatever happened. But I can't do that, what I can do is make an apology to you from the bottom of my heart. You are my one true love, my soulmate, and the most wonderful woman I have ever met. I would never do anything to hurt you ever again. Please give me a chance so that we can go back to being a happy couple. Once again, I am sorry.
Apology Letter to Ex Girlfriend
Although we are not together right now, you have been my support and guiding light in the past. During our relationship, I didn't realize that my overprotective nature could hurt you so much. I thought my actions would show my love towards you, but now I have realized that when in love, one must trust their partner. I have mended my ways, and with this letter, I am not asking you to take me back. Instead, I simply want to express my apology and hope you forgive me.
Apology Letter to Girlfriend for Being Toxic
5. My dear love,
I am speechless today and didn't have the audacity to face you, so I am writing this letter to you in the hope that you'll forgive me. Whatever happened yesterday was not right and I feel extremely remorseful for it. I should have faced the problem instead of taking it out on you. I should not have been so mean and said those toxic things. I know words said can never be taken back and that you must be badly hurt. Please give me a chance to do the right thing, and be assured, I will never behave like this ever again. I am really sorry , my love.
Apology Letter to Girlfriend for Missing Her Birthday
6. My sweetie pie,
I can sense your frustration from far away, and know you are quite upset with me. Why won't you be? I missed your birthday, after all, and that is not a small mistake. Please give me a chance to explain all this, darling — I booked a flight to fly to your place and give you a surprise. But everything went in vain as all of a sudden, I was asked to attend an important meeting and work on a presentation that I need to give after two days. I know this does not justify what I did, so I am writing this letter to you and along with it sending a gift to the most important person in my life. Please forgive me, and I promise you we'll celebrate your birthday next week.
Your one and only,
Emotional Apology Message to Girlfriend
7. My dear love,
I can bear everything in this world but not your resentment towards me. I know I have been behaving a bit differently lately, but I promise to be back to my regular self soon. There were a few things going on in my family about which I want to talk to you so that you understand everything properly. I don't want to lose you ever, my life is meaningless without you. Please accept my apology and come back to me again.
Apology Letter to Girlfriend for Not Calling Her Back
8. My sweet angel,
You called me many times today but I couldn't receive them. It was purely unintentional as I was caught up in work. I know it might have been something urgent because of which you were calling me and I feel sorry because I couldn't be with you when you needed me. Please forgive me and take my promise that it will not happen again.
Apology Letter to Girlfriend for Lying
9. My baby angel,
Trust once broken can never be rebuilt. And despite knowing this, I lied to you many times. Even though the lies were small, they have hurt you badly and I can feel it. I can feel like my soul is crumbling into pieces, so I have gathered a lot of courage today to write this letter to you and apologize for all the lies I have told you. Please forgive me and give me a chance to become a better person.
Samples of Heartwarming Apology Letters to Girlfriend
10. My baby,
I know I have many flaws but I also know that I love you more than anything in this world. My heart feels heavy when you get upset because of me. I regret my actions and promise to never behave in the same way ever again. Please forgive me, my love .
11. My love,
I know I should have listened to you intently yesterday evening. After all, all you were trying to do was share your problems with me so that we can sort them out. But my mind was preoccupied with something else and didn't give much importance to you. I am so sorry for being extremely selfish and if I ever do it again, fight with me but don't ever leave me. The pain of losing you is unbearable. Forgive me, please.
12. My princess,
I know you must be angry at me as I dodged your call every time you tried reaching out to me. I am sorry I didn't call you back. My mood was very low and I was not in a mood to talk, so instead of addressing my emotions, I shut myself out from the world. I realize it was very arrogant on my part and it won't happen again. Accept my apology, darling.
13. Dear (name),
I cannot even imagine the pain I brought to you with my harsh tone in today's fight. I wanted to come over to your place and beg for your forgiveness but was ashamed of myself. I am writing this letter to you to apologize for my behavior and tell you that I deeply regret my actions. You are a true blessing in my life, and I would hurt myself before letting anything happen to you. I promise to make you believe all this through actions, not words. Please allow me back into your life and be my world again.
14. My lovely darling,
I cannot bear the thought of you hating me and cutting ties with me. I know why you are angry with me, and that I deserve to be treated this way. Let me tell you that I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you forever. Yes, I behaved outrageously last week and your bitterness toward me is justified. But as a true lover, I am requesting you to forgive me and give me a place in your heart again.
15. Dear (name),
I don't feel good because I know I have been extremely selfish with you. You have always been with me in my good and bad times, but when you needed me, I wasn't there for you. You kept giving me your love, but I couldn't give it back to you. You have been putting up with me till now only because of the love you feel for me. All I want to say is 'sorry' and that I will try my best to become a better person and be with you through thick and thin.
16. My dearest love,
I know you don't want to talk to me because I have hurt your feelings. But I couldn't help myself and wanted to make a hearty apology to you. I am sorry for being so inconsiderate towards your feelings and thinking only about myself. There is no excuse for my behavior. If you let me back in your life, be assured that I will do everything in my power to be the best man in the world. Please give me a chance to prove my love for you. I will be waiting for your call, my love. I love you and I am sorry.
17. Dear (name),
Everyone says that we should never take our partner for granted, but I never believed in it and that's truly the biggest mistake of my life. I always wonder how I found such an amazing person like you, and yet for some reason, I am not able to tell you how much I love you. I am not able to show my romantic side towards you due to which you feel unloved. This is why I am writing this letter to you, please accept it as an apology and forgive me. Also, I love you to the moon and back, my love. There is nobody as special as you in this world and you lighten up my life like nothing else.
18. My sweet love,
I hope you will accept my apology for my hurtful actions. I have already said sorry to you in person but thought that wasn't enough. I was wondering about how to write a heart-melting apology letter to girlfriend but then realized that when intentions are pure, you can do anything. I have been stressed out lately, but that's not an excuse for being angry at you. I can never treat you ill intentionally, please accept my apologies and come back to me again baby.
Apology Letter to Girlfriend to Make Her Heart Melt
19. My Sweet Love,
I know we planned to celebrate Valentine's Day together this year, but I am so sorry that I couldn't be there for you. There was a personal emergency at home due to which I had to be here. I am writing this sorry letter to you because I don't know how to apologize for this over a phone call or text. You had done so much planning to make the day special for us and I regret missing the celebrations with you. Nonetheless, I am coming home soon and there is a huge surprise waiting for you, darling. Please forgive me.
Your baby boo
20. My Sweetest Love,
I am sorry darling for burdening you with so many responsibilities. I understand that we must share our load of work but lately, I have been so preoccupied with everything that I couldn't help you with any chore. I want to go back to our happy days again. I promise to share your load of work and be the ideal couple again. Please accept my heartfelt apology and give me a chance to improve.
21. My darling,
I am sorry for venting my frustration at you yesterday. Your love has taught me many things, generosity being the top of them. I don't know how I forgot the good and bad times we have shared and yelled at you for a mistake you didn't even commit. I have no words to show how ashamed I feel of myself. I feel miserable without you, please forgive me.
There can be times when everything is not going as you want in life, so getting frustrated is inevitable. These are the testing times of any relationship, and only the ones who can keep calm and composed can fight the hurdle. Whereas, those who cannot end up taking their anger out on their partner and hurting them. Apart from that, taking your partner for granted and not helping them unintentionally are common reasons your partner is hurt through your actions. Humans commit mistakes, but what sets a good human being apart from others is his acceptance of mistakes. Never let ego kill your relationship, and write an apology letter to girlfriend if you have hurt her anyhow. To make the gesture romantic, you can also send her a bouquet or a gift.
ALSO READ: 6 Ways to patch up with your girlfriend if you are ‘on a break’
Aastha is a certified Relationship coach and she strives to help those who seek expert advice on relationships.
Aastha is a certified Relationship coach and she strives to help those who seek expert advice on relationships. As a professional writer, Aastha believes that her content will create a positive change in the lives of people who search solutions for to their everyday problems on the internet. Leaning towards a positive and joyful approach is what makes her content more relatable to her readers.
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20+ apology letters to girlfriend for when you really messed up
Want to write an apology letter to a girlfriend? Making mistakes can weaken a relationship and sometimes lead to a breakup. However, how the mistakes are handled can strengthen the ties and make the relationship successful. If you wronged your girlfriend, be humble, acknowledge the mistake, and apologise.
A lot of ladies are emotional, and you can easily hurt their feelings by simply uttering a wrong word. Whether you hurt her by words or actions, asking for forgiveness by apologising as soon as possible is essential. How do you write an apology letter to a girlfriend?
Apology letter for hurting someone you love
Some men think apologising to a lady is a sign of weakness, but it is not. It shows your strength in knowing you were wrong and willing to make things right. You can say sorry in many ways, but an apology letter to a girlfriend is likely the best. Here are sample letters of how to say sorry.
53 paragraphs for your crush to express how you feel about them
1. I’m nothing without you
I know you are mad at me and would not want to talk now. I would be in the same position if I were you. I know it should not always be about me but allow me to say how I feel.
You are right about this, and I was inconsiderate of your feelings. I need to improve on that. For now, I do not feel okay without you, and I request you to come home, sweetie. We can work through this.
Reach out whenever you’re ready.
2. You’re incredible
I am among the luckiest guys in the world to have a goddess like you. Unfortunately, I do not know how I ended up messing this up. Seemingly, I may have just messed up with the most incredible person in my life.
I admit my mistake, and I'm willing to do anything to win your heart back. Now that you have been away, I have realised how much I love you and will cherish you if you return to my world.
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Please accept me back,
3. I’m not great at apologies
You have known me long, and you know I may not have the best words to say sorry even though I mean it. Therefore, forgive me if I do not do it the best way, but please know that I am very sorry for what happened between us.
I would be willing to give anything to get the right words to express my regret. I love you immensely and would not like to live without your presence.
4. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings
I’m sorry for hurting your feelings. I genuinely apologise for what I said. How thoughtless could I get? I suppose I wasn’t thinking in any way, shape, or form.
Whatever I said was not respectful to you, but I want you to know that I value you, and you are the most impressive and wonderful person I have ever known. I promise to be mindful of what I say, and I hope you choose to give me a second chance, and I will change for the better.
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Can you forgive me?
5. I work way too much
I am sorry I haven’t dedicated time to you due to my busy work schedule. Despite promising to be available for you always, I have let work take all of my time, hurting our relationship.
Now that I have realised how detrimental it is, I need to find a therapist and get my priorities right. I do not want to lose you; that might happen if I do not change for the better. I will balance my work time and relationship to earn a decent income while nourishing what we have.
Kindly understand my situation, and let's continue loving each other.
Touching sorry letters to girlfriend when you wrong her
No matter how badly you wronged her, sometimes all it takes is a simple apology letter that will touch her to forgive you. Below are examples of sorry letters to a girlfriend.
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6. Life is hard without you
Since we separated, my life has not been smooth and has deteriorated immensely. Days drag, and life is like a series of half-connections. Sincerely, life has been hard without you.
My life was meaningful, joyful, and engaging when everything was right between us. We complemented each other, and you brought out the best in me. Now, I feel like an empty shell.
Please, can we talk? I am sorry for everything I did wrong.
I love you still,
7. I pray you forgive me
We both share a deep love for our faith, which is one thing I like about our relationship. At this moment of challenge in our relationship, we can lean on our faith for strength. I humbly come before you knowing that my actions were wrong, and I ask for your forgiveness.
I am ashamed, and I pray for your pardon and I will work on myself to be a better man. Ease your heart, and let forgiveness save our blessed relationship.
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With sincere apologies,
8. I really messed up
I messed up and don’t deserve to call you my love. It disturbs me now for taking you for granted all this time. Many times, I put my superficial leisure needs before essential things. For sure, I need to grow and be a more responsible person.
How can I make things right? I am ready to put you first and improve to be a better person for the sake of this relationship.
Please accept my sincerest apologies.
9. I promise I will be better next time
To the best person I know,
You might not be moved by whatever I am about to say because I know you are deeply hurt. I apologise for my mistakes and promise to improve next time. It might be difficult to believe me, and it might take time to trust me.
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I regret my actions and words, and I will change my ways. We occasionally make mistakes, but this was way above board, and I request you pardon me.
I love you,
10. We have a promising future
I went out of the way, and for a moment, I forgot about the person I loved. I prioritised other things of less value in life and neglected my source of happiness. I am very sorry for the pain I have caused while I was away, and I ask you to accept my apologies.
Remember that soon we will be a family , and I do not want to be an absent father and husband. I will change my ways and will be around for my family as much as possible. We have a bright future as a family, and I ask you to save this relationship.
Love paragraphs for her to share your feelings with your partner
Your changed man,
Heartfelt apologetic love letters to win her trust back
Apologising also presents an opportunity to show how much you love her. Therefore, as you say sorry, do not forget to mention how much you love her. Here are examples of apologetic love letters.
11. I know it will take time
I messed and even though I would like to have you back now, I know it will take time to heal. My behaviour was irresponsible, disrespectful, and shaming of our relationship. I understand if you do not want to talk to me, and I will be patient for you to get back to normal.
Even as you heal, know that I love you and would not want to lose you. I will not behave like that again, and I plan to make you feel appreciated and greatly loved .
12. All I ask is forgiveness
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I have no excuses, and no matter how you look at the situation, I am the one who wronged you. It is understandable to be furious because what I did was unacceptable by any standards. It was a stupid and immature way of handling the situation.
I sincerely apologise, and all I ask is forgiveness because I am willing to make things right in the future. Can we meet up to talk?
13. How about we share calendars?
I know we had plans, but I forgot and scheduled other things. It might appear as though I do not value our plans and take other things more seriously. However, I want you to know that nobody is as important as you in my life.
I am sorry things didn't work out as we thought, but I have a solution for the future. Why don’t we share calendars to plan everything together, giving me no chance of forgetting the important dates? Can we have another date so that I could make things right?
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Hope to hear from you soon,
14. Do you still love me?
Hi sweet [Name],
It has been quite a long time since we spoke because I wanted to give you some space to heal. I am sorry for breaking your heart, and I know I do not deserve your time. I regret all that happened and feel haunted by your absence in my life.
I ask for a second chance, and I promise not to repeat the mistakes I made. Do you still love me? Hear my plea and come back to my life again.
15. I need help
This is taking a toll on me because I seem to get worse each day and now I need help. My overindulgence has caused a lot of trouble in our relationship, and despite you asking me to quit, I did not listen.
I have decided to quit today but not without your help. I ask for your support throughout this journey, and forgive me for all the wrongs I have done. Allow me back to your life as I correct the mess I have caused.
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I value you,
16. I didn’t mean to hurt you
Everything happened so fast, and I deeply regret going that far. Listen, even though there was a mistake, my harsh actions were not justified. I should have reacted better to the situation, and I ask for your forgiveness.
Sorry for the pain and disappointment.
17. Pardon me for being so inconsiderate
I have penned this letter to apologise for our altercation yesterday. After a profound reflection on the situation, I returned to my senses and put all the blame on myself. I was self-centred and inconsiderate, and I promise to give you the best version of myself in the future.
18. Let’s give love a chance
We have come a long way, and destroying the beautiful thing between us would not make sense. Let not your anger blind you and make you not see that we are about to end our happiness. Let’s sort out our differences and give love a chance so that we go back to our old ways.
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19. I’m to blame
I have hurt you and am drowning in the pit of remorse. I have wronged you multiple times and mistreated you. I feel guilty. Everything has been rosy and beautiful since we started this relationship, and I do not wish to end it so soon.
Could you find it in your heart to forgive me?
20. This will not happen again
I lack the right words and couldn't dare to face you, so I am writing this letter hoping you pity and forgive me. Whatever happened yesterday was uncalled for and wrong, and I am remorseful for it. I should have faced the problem instead of taking it out on you.
I have learnt and will never repeat this mistake.
Apology paragraph for her
Saying sorry can be as simple as a word or a phrase, but if you want to express yourself better, a paragraph will do. Here is a compilation of apology paragraphs.
Long paragraphs for him to show some love for your partner
- There is nothing I can say to gain your trust because I have betrayed you severely. Our fallout has made me know how lucky I am to have you in my life. It would be difficult to trust me again, but I request you be patient with me as I try to make things right.
- I have been wrong all along and did not realise it. I maintained my hard position, not knowing that I was hurting your feelings. You do not deserve to have a guy like me, but since I am willing to make things right, I ask you to take me back.
- My actions hurt you, but I hope you accept my apology. I have repeatedly said sorry but felt it wasn’t enough without penning this letter because I am ready to do anything to get you back. I sincerely apologise and request you to come back to my life. I know better now, and I will treat you with dignity.
- I want you to understand that I am only human, and despite trying my best to be perfect, I sometimes fall for temptations. I admit my mistakes and take this chance to apologise, hoping that you will accept me back. You are my strength, and I ask for your forgiveness, so we can continue enjoying our lives together again.
- I ask you to hear my plea. I wronged you, but I didn't do it intentionally. Therefore, I hope you change your mind and return to me because you are all I value in this world.
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No one is perfect, and when you wrong your girlfriend, do not feel ashamed to say sorry. An apology letter to a girlfriend can calm her and make her see the need to give you a second chance. Moreover, a letter makes your apology appear more serious than a text message or a phone call.
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Besides their elegant looks, they have characters that make them grab everyone’s attention. They are successful on many fronts; if you want such a life, it is good to learn something about them. Here are classy women quotes to motivate you.
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17 Apology Letter Examples to Your Girlfriend
You messed up and landed in the dog house.
So what’s next?
Yes, send flowers (unless your partner is allergic).
Yes, make the necessary behavioral adjustments.
And yes, apologize profusely.
But don’t just say “sorry” and call it a day.
If you’re genuinely regretful, write a letter to apologize to your girlfriend.
Let her know you understand how you messed up.
Are you terrible at expressing yourself eloquently?
Fear not — because we’re here to serve as your Cyrano.
How To Write an Apology Letter to Your Girlfriend (And What Not To Say)
All i can do is ask for forgiveness, i really messed up, i pray you can forgive me (religious), i’m miserable without you, life is hard without you, i’m not great at apologies, i promise to do better, i work way too much, you’re incredible, we’re going to be parents, i know it will take time, i’m sorry i hurt your feelings, how about we share calendars, do you still love me, i’m seeking help, it was inexcusable, please take me back.
You probably landed on this page because writing a sorry letter to a girlfriend can be daunting .
You don’t want to make things worse by saying the wrong thing.
We’re breaking down exactly how to pen the best apology letter to a girlfriend so she knows your remorse is authentic.
But before we get to the prose, let’s review what not to say in an apology letter to her.
- Excuses : Sometimes life gets in the way, but don’t load your apology letter with excuses. You may have some minor points — but now is not the time.
- Deflecting : Don’t deflect blame onto other people when writing an apology. And definitely don’t deflect it onto her.
- Passive-Aggressive Finger Pointing : Admitting wrong is the opposite of easy. It can be excruciating when we believe we’re in the right. When apologizing from this position, we tend to point the finger in oblique ways passive-aggressively. Refrain from doing this at all costs.
Instead, use thoughtful, kind, gentle language.
Whether “loving” sentiments are appropriate depends on your relationship status and the magnitude of your crimes.
Do you need help writing the perfect apology letter to your girlfriend? Well, you’re in luck. We’re here to lend a linguistic hand.
Feel free to use these I’m sorry letters to her exactly as is. However, we encourage personalization.
After all, what happens if she Googles your letter and finds out you didn’t really write it?
Sure, some ladies may adopt an it’s-the-thought-that-counts attitude, but others may not be as impressed.
There are no two ways to look at the situation. At the beginning and end of the day, I’m the one who messed up — big time.
I could say, “I don’t know what got into me!?” or “I was drunk!” But the truth is, I was stupid, thoughtless, and took you for granted.
You’re understandably upset, and you should be furious. I wish I could erase my mistake, but all I can do now is prove how dreadfully sorry I am and ask for forgiveness.
Can we meet up to talk?
I really messed up, didn’t I? You asked that I [insert thing], and I failed to get it done.
I can hear you in my head, and you’re right: I take you for granted. Too often, I put my superficial leisure needs before important things. And yes, I need to grow up and start being more responsible.
How can I make this up to you? I need to. I want to prove that I hear you and understand what I need to work on and change.
Please accept my sincerest apologies.
You and I share a deep love for our faith. It’s one of the things I love most about you and our relationship. I hope you can lean on that faith during this challenging time.
I stand before you as a freshly humbled man. I know my actions were beyond wrong. Thinking about how I hurt you deservedly throws me into a shame spiral.
But there’s no way to turn back the clock and take it back. Time is cruel that way. So all I can do is pray that you forgive me.
I am working on myself and want to be a better man for you. If you can find a way in your heart to forgive me, I’d love to talk soon.
With sincere apologies,
Honey, please listen.
I understand you’re seething mad and don’t want to talk. I’d feel the same way if the situation was reversed. But there I go again, always talking about myself. This shouldn’t be about how I feel.
You’re absolutely right on that front, and being more considerate of others’ feelings is something I must work on.
But right now, all I know is that I am achingly miserable without you. Please come home, sweetie. We can work through this together.
Reach out whenever you’re ready — if you’re ever ready.
We’ve been apart for a [day/week/month/year/decade], and my life is worse off for it. What can I say? Life is hard without you.
The days drone on, and life is a series of half-connections, polite jibber-jabber, and conversations about things I care nothing about.
My days were joyful, engaging, and manageable when we were together. We filled each other’s hearts and minds. I had my person. Now, I’m just an empty shell on a conveyor belt.
Can we talk? Please? Life is too hard without you.
I’m so sorry for everything. The lying. The infidelity. The immaturity. Please give me a second chance.
I love you still,
You’ve known from the start that I’m not an eloquent [man/woman]. Pretty words don’t come easily to me. And truth be told, I’m also not the best at apologizing.
So forgive me if I do this incorrectly, but please know that I am very sorry for [insert what happened].
I’d give everything to come up with the right words to convey how sorry I am. If you can, please find a way to forgive me. My love for you is immense, and the last thing I want to do is live without you in my life.
To the best person I know:
I know words aren’t going to move you right now. The only thing I can do is prove my sorrow through my actions.
Baby, I promise to do better. And I don’t expect you to believe me right off the bat. I know it will take time for me to earn your trust back.
Please allow me to demonstrate my regret and change my ways. We all make mistakes, and this incident was definitely at the top of my list.
I love you,
You’ve always been worried about my work-a-holic issue, and I swore I’d always make time for you.
But I’ve broken my vow. I’ve let work take over. I’ve behaved like an ass, always putting office matters before you.
I need to find a therapist and get to work on my priorities. The last thing I want to do is lose you and know that if I don’t shape up quickly, that’s bound to happen.
Please try to understand that I work so much because I want to give you everything you want and deserve. Providing for you is my love language.
I’ve already talked to [boss’s name] and will be making some scheduling changes. Positive change is afoot. I’m not just talking a big game this time — I’ve already taken action.
Darling, I am sorry and hope you’ll recognize my sincerity. Within weeks, we’ll be living a life of balance — together.
Please hang in there for another couple of weeks,
I’ll never figure out how a guy like me ended up with a goddess like you. I cannot believe how badly I messed up.
My mother said I was a dumbass — and she was right. I may have just messed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
I’m wrong. I know I’m wrong. And I will do everything in my power to win you back and prove that I will never harm you again. These aren’t just words. I’m on a mission to prove my love for you, the most incredible person in the world.
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You set down the law. You were clear: Drinking with the boys after work would have to end. After all, we’re going to be parents. Not only do we need to save money, but I need to get in the habit of being around for my family.
And you’re right! You and the baby must be my top priority right now.
I don’t know what got into me last night. At the very least, I should have called you to let you know. Instead, I was cowardly and left you worrying for a couple of hours.
What can I say? I was a complete and utter jerk.
I promise never to do it again. If something comes up, I’ll catch you up. But more importantly, hanging with the boys will no longer take priority over my family.
Your changed man,
I messed up big time and know it will take time to get back to normal. It’s impossible to brush things like this under the carpet and pretend they didn’t happen.
I’m not going to sit here and make excuses. You deserve much better than that. Besides, there is no excuse for my behavior. I was rude, irresponsible, and immature.
You’re right: I need to stop behaving like I’m still in college. It’ll get me nowhere fast.
Please tell me what I can do to turn things around. Your wish is my command.
Again, sweetie, I am genuinely sorry. Let me make it up to you.
I’m so sorry I hurt your feelings. And I don’t mean that dismissively. I’m genuinely mortified I said what I said. How thoughtless could I get!? I wasn’t thinking in any way, shape, or form.
It may seem like I take you for granted, and what I said certainly wasn’t respectful. But I want you to know I think you’re the most impressive, wonderful, beautiful person I have ever met in my life, and I think the world of you.
So, from now on, I will think before I let something dumb shoot out of my mouth .
I hope you decide to stick with me and see that I can change for the better.
You’re the best. No, you’re better than the best. Can you forgive me ?
I was unconscionably inconsiderate last week. We’d made plans, but I forgot and scheduled [insert thing]. I know it looks like I value [insert thing], but I promise the opposite is true.
No one is more important than you, and I’m prepared to do a much better job of showing you how much I mean that.
I’m sorry about how everything worked out. However, I have a potential solution. Why don’t we share our Google calendars? That way, we’re on the same page. Plus, it’s a way to be completely transparent with one another.
To be clear: I’m not asking you to manage my schedule. I messed up. This is on me. And it’s something I will get better at on my own. My goal is to make you feel more a part of my life.
So how about dinner next week? Your choice. I promise not to leave you waiting all night this time! I’m here when you’re ready to talk. I love you, sweetness — and I’m truly, deeply sorry for the confusion.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Hi Sweet [Name],
It’s been a while since we last spoke. I wanted to give you time. You deserve that.
But it’s been weeks, and you’re still the first thing I think about when I wake and the last thing on my mind before bed.
I know I messed up royally. Furthermore, I’m not pretending like I didn’t realize my actions were a deal breaker. You made that very clear from the very beginning.
And though I stupidly messed up, I swear up and down, forward and backward, that I will not make the same mistake twice.
I still love you more than can be expressed in words. If you still have a spark of affection for me, let’s try to work it out . At the very least, let’s meet up for a meal and at least talk.
As always, you’re right.
This morning, I poured out all the alcohol I had left. For me, “just one drink” isn’t possible. To that end, I’m climbing onto the wagon.
These are not just words and empty promises. I’m checking myself into a program today as well. You’ve put up with too much because I couldn’t take responsibility for my destructive actions.
No more. You deserve better.
I pray we can fix things. My life won’t be the same without you.
When you’re ready, please consider giving me a call so we can start talking about everything. I love you; I love the kids; I apologize for everything I’ve done. If you find a way to take me back, everything will be different — better different.
I value you,
I know I’ve betrayed you in the worst possible way, and I couldn’t be more sorry. There’s nothing I can say to change what I did, although if I could only get one wish granted, it would be to erase what I did.
The situation and fallout have made me realize how lucky I am to have you in my life. I adore and cherish you, and I understand if you can’t trust me anymore. But I hope you’ll see my sincerity and let me start making it up to you.
I know you need some time to mull things over, so everything is up to you. Please know that you’re on my mind constantly, and all I want to do is make sure you’re happy and safe.
I’m not above begging. So here’s a list of five reasons you should take me back.
- I’m pathetic and need you to make me less so.
- I promise to be the best partner ever to exist if you give me one more chance.
- I’ll satisfy every single one of your wants and needs. You’ll never want for anything ever again.
- You’re an incredible, kind, forgiving person who knows I can do better.
- I love you!
Please, babe. Let’s just put this behind us and keep growing. We’re an incredible couple who are better together.
We hope you found an apology letter for hurt feelings to your girlfriend on our list .
Remember : Sincere sorries go a long way. So go ahead and let your apology flag fly. Just make sure you follow through on what you promise. Good luck!
- Your Apology Letters
Sorry Letter to My Girlfriend
How to write an apology letter to a girlfriend.
Start your letter by acknowledging her hurt and validating her feelings. Tell her how sorry you are and that you want to fix things.
Be honest and remind her how important she is to you.
Finally, ask her for forgiveness and if there is anything that you can do to prove to her that it won't happen again.
For more help with saying sorry & written apologies: Detailed information on writing an apology letter Apology Letter Format
Click here to add your own comments
Return to Apologies to Girlfriends.
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Home » For You » Relationships
How To Write An Apology Letter To Your Girlfriend – Tips
Go old-school and pen your remorse and feelings in a heart-rending note to your BFF.
Hemali Adhiya ICF Certified Relationship Coach
Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching
Experience: 3 years
Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients’ lives, perspectives, and relationships. She works wit... more
Sneha Tete Certified Relationship Coach
Experience: 4 years
Sneha has a master's degree in Applied Linguistics from the University of Hyderabad, a professional Relationship Coach diploma, and over four years of experience in writing. She writes about relations... more
Expertise: Beauty & Lifestyle
Subhrojyoti is an associate editor at StyleCraze with four years of experience. He has a master’s degree in English from Presidency University, Kolkata, and has also done a post-graduate certificate... more
Writing an apology letter to your girlfriend can be quite distressing and confusing when you don’t know what might fire them up further . Women aren’t known for apologizing or backing down. On the other hand, they are emotional beings who let their heart guide their behavior. It is good news and bad news, both. You must, however, take the initial step if your friend is essential to you.
You may spend hours thinking and gazing at a blank screen, unsure of where or how to begin. Then again, expressing your feelings is difficult, particularly after a fight. It is never easy to apologize to someone you love since there is so much at risk. You might worry or go into panic mode, and you won’t be able to think clearly . These factors exacerbate the difficulty of sending a heartfelt apology letter to your BFF.
Whether you were a jerk, were caught in lies, hurt her, talked behind her back, or didn’t trust when you should have, you must accept the blame for your part in the disagreement . Sorrow and remorse can take on a whole new meaning in friendship. But don’t fret. We have got some tricks up our sleeves to help you convey your feelings more effectively. Take a cue from these sample letters and know how to apologize to your girlfriend effectively. Keep scrolling.
In This Article
How To Apologize To Your Girlfriend
- Start the letter by acknowledging that you hurt her and validating her feelings.
- Be genuine. Let her know how much she means to you.
- Say you are sorry and how much you want to fix things. Mention the event for which you are apologizing, but do not go into too many details.
- Take responsibility for your faults and ask her for forgiveness.
- Promise her that it will never happen again.
- End on a positive note.
Sample Apology Letter To Girlfriend For Hurting Her
Dear [her name],
I am so sorry for what happened last (Friday night) at the (party). I was completely insane for doing the things I did and saying the things I said. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me. I know you must be feeling very angry and hurt at the things that I said and did, and I understand if you don’t feel like speaking to me right now. If I was in your place, I probably wouldn’t either. I am such an ass.
However, please know that I miss you terribly. I miss having my confidant and best friend by my side to share my thoughts and feelings. I don’t know if you miss me, but I miss you so much. I just can’t deal with life without you.
That thing on (Friday) happened because I was (drunk/stressed), and I let it get to me. I am very sorry. Please forgive me for being an idiot. You know how stupid I can be sometimes. But hurting you, my best friend, is one of the worst things I have done, and I just can’t live with myself if you don’t forgive me.
You can scream at me if you like, but please talk to me. I love you so much.
Sample Apology Letter To Girlfriend After A Fight
Dear best friend who I hurt so terribly and miss so badly – I am so sorry. I know I made it seem like it was all your fault, but it wasn’t. I was lying to both you and myself, and it was easier to blame you for everything than to realize my contribution to the problem. I really can’t believe I did that. After the fight, everything just fell apart. I know I am probably the last person you want to hear from right now. But [her name], please hear me out.
I don’t know where to begin, so I will start with this – I am really sad that our friendship is over. It has made me completely miserable for the last couple of months. You mean so much to me. I am really struggling without you now. We were the best of friends and you mean the world to me, more than you will ever know. Every time we fought, we grew a little apart. We are not even talking anymore, let alone be friends.
I hate fighting with you. The mistake I made ruined our friendship, and I really have no idea how to make things right again. Knowing that I did this to you and our beautiful friendship kills me. I don’t know what I was thinking, I am such an idiot. I hate myself for doing this.
Our friendship is too beautiful to end over this. To find another friend like you is impossible. You are so caring, funny, and patient, and I never appreciated you enough. I didn’t mean for things to end like this. I so wish I could take everything back to how things were, but I know I can’t. However, I can prove it to you that this will never happen ever again. I’m still the friend you trusted and thought of as your bestie.
I keep apologizing because I am completely in the wrong. I have been inconsiderate towards you, I wasn’t the ideal friend that I should have been. But, I DON’T want to lose you! I think you are worth fighting for. You always made me feel amazing, and you are one of the very few people who could do that.
I am really heartbroken, I don’t want my mistake to ruin the wonderful friendship we had. It would mean the world to me if you gave me a second chance. I know you have trust issues, and I have made it even harder now for you to trust me. I know it will take time for you to forgive me, but I am ready to wait. Many people have walked in and out of my life, but you are one of the few I actually care about and really want to stay.
No matter what I do, you are constantly on my mind. I really miss you so much, and I truly don’t want to lose you. I don’t think this fight is worth ending our loving friendship over, and I hope you think so as well. I made a really horrid mistake, and I regret it.
I know I have been a horrible friend for the last few months, but you did say I was a good friend before. Can’t we just try and go back to that?
Trust me, this wasn’t easy for me, but I did this because I hope this letter shows you how much you mean to me, just how I feel, and how sorry I truly am. Whatever you decide to do, I will always treasure the good times we had and our friendship. We went through a lot of stuff together, and you are one of the few people my soul trusts. You are very important to me, and I can go through hell for you. I just want you to know that.
Please accept my apology. I hope you can forgive me. I can’t help but believe that everything will turn out okay. I find it hard to imagine my life without you in it, and I will always be there for you if you need me. Please call or text me if you decide to give me a chance.
Thank you for being my best friend.
Wishing you the best and waiting for your response,
Sample Apology Letter To Girlfriend For Lying
Dear [her name]
I am truly sorry for lying to the best person in my life – you. I was deep into the lie I had created and didn’t know how to pull myself out and come clean with you. I am so sorry for being such a hard head and behaving in a manner that is beneath me.
I was so darn tired of the constant fight I was having with myself. I was always seeking something else, something new, something better. The lying grew to the point that even I didn’t know what the truth was anymore. I didn’t want to be judged for being the real me. Everyone makes mistakes, some more detestable than others, and I truly think I fall into the latter category.
I always felt that there was something missing. I felt that I was missing someone who truly understands me because I was not able to understand myself. It looks like I needed someone to show me how to deal with my insecurities and hold my head up high.
The lies did work for a while. They helped me delude myself into believing I was doing okay, even great. I started believing the lies I was telling about myself. I truly felt that I was the person I was pretending to be – and that was the biggest lie of them all. When I truly understood that, I hit rock bottom.
I am grateful for the experience because I am now capable of seeing things more clearly. I have learned to live with truth, kindness, and compassion.
I have also learned that the first person I need to forgive is myself. I need to accept my faults, try as best as I possibly can to work on them, and forgive myself when I fail. I need to never give up on myself and keep trying to be a better person. Once I accept who I am, I will no longer need to lie. This simple truth eluded me for so many years. But once I saw the big picture, it all became crystal clear.
It wasn’t that I needed something or someone else to make myself feel better or whole that resulted in all that lying. I had the power within me all along. That power was to treat myself with respect and show the same caring and compassion to myself that I often showed others.
It is a new day now. My days of lying and apologize when getting caught are now over. It was obviously a vicious circle of lies and apologies that I thought I could never break. However, I have made amendments with those who I have deceived along the way.
So, here I am today, wondering how to apologize for lying to the one person who trusted me so blindly, the one person I probably hurt most. I am not perfect yet – but I am learning to be better. For now, I would like to offer my heartfelt apology to you.
Please accept my apology as a gesture towards making things right between us again.
I want you to know that I am really sorry for all the lies I told you. My constant lying was not about you or any of my other relationships. It was a result of the issues I have with myself. I take full responsibility for my behavior, the lies, and not seeking help.
Although the majority of my lies were about myself, there were some that were about others. What was common between all the lies was that they were created to make me feel better about my pathetic self. I didn’t care who got hurt as long as it wasn’t me. It makes me loathe the selfishness and lack of empathy I displayed towards people who had done me no wrong. I can understand why everyone cut me off from their lives when my world of lies came crashing down. I truly regret the pain and hurt I caused my other friends and you.
I will never presume to understand how you must have felt by my betrayal. But after losing you and my friends, I realized some hard truths about life and why I needed to re-evaluate my way of living life. It may be hard to understand, but deep down, I never meant to hurt you. It was all a dangerous life of fun and games I was living. If someone did to me what I did to you, I would hate that person. But you are better than me, and always were. That’s why I still have hope that I can win you back in my life. Yes, win. Because you are no less than a prize, girlfriend. If there is any possible way that I can make it up to you, please reach out to me. Call or text, whatever you want. If you don’t want to, I completely understand.
Wishing you all the best in life and lots of love to you and the gang,
Infographic: Key Pointers For Writing An Apology Letter To Your Girlfriend
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Apologizing is never a strong trait with most people, and we struggle to find the right words that convey our remorse with sincerity. Communication always fails as we try to figure out what to say while we are talking. We worry about triggering the other person’s anger by mistakenly striking a nerve or are just too humiliated to face them. In any case, writing an apology letter can be the best way to gather your thoughts, revise and organize them, and finally draft an apology that might make people feel at ease. If it is your girlfriend you have offended, this approach makes much more sense, as women are perceived as emotional beings who can be easily triggered. So, refer to the above tips and samples as you write an apology letter to your girlfriend and hope for the best!
Frequently Asked Questions
How long should an apology letter to my girlfriend be?
It depends on the situation and level of explanation that is needed to express the apology, but it is best to keep it concise, just enough to convey your remorse and address the specific issue but not a very long-winded and repetitive one.
What tone should I use in an apology letter to my girlfriend?
The letter’s tone should be respectful, humble and honest, accepting the mistake and expressing remorse for it. It should not involve blame shifting or making excuses for the mistake; instead, be sincere, ask for forgiveness and offer a solution to resolve the issue.
Can an apology letter to my girlfriend be enough to fix our relationship?
An apology letter could be a good start in the direction of repairing the relationship, but it is not enough. It can help start the conversation about the issue, but it should be followed up with efforts and willingness to work out the issue and repair the relationship by rebuilding trust.
When is the best time to send an apology letter to my girlfriend?
It is best to send the letter as soon as possible after the issue, and when you are ready to take responsibility for the situation and offer a solution. Timing is important; the longer you wait, the harder it will be to repair the relationship and regain trust.
- Writing an apology letter to your girlfriend can be distressing, but it is the perfect way to express your feelings more effectively.
- The first point to keep in mind when writing an apology letter is to accept the fact that you hurt her feelings and validate them.
- Be genuine and take responsibility for your mistakes before you say how sorry you are.
Have you made a mistake and want to amend it? Then watch this video for a collection of heartfelt apology texts for your special someone, and let your love shine through forgiveness.
Sneha Tete Beauty & Lifestyle Writer
Subhrojyoti mukherjee associate editor, related articles, apology letter to your boyfriend, 71 sincere “sorry” messages you can send to your wife, how to write a love letter for your girlfriend or boyfriend, apology letter to a friend: tips to write a heartfelt one, 15 apology letters to send to your husband for hurting him, 7 ways to apologize to your boyfriend for hurting him, 201 "i'm sorry" quotes to apologize to your partner, how to write a letter to a friend: samples and tips, 15 romantic love letters for your husband, latest articles, 39 heartfelt poems for your mom on her birthday.
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- Letter Writing / I'm Sorry Messages - Apology Letters / Relationships
Apology Letter to Girlfriend
Last Updated September 20, 2023
It happens. She finds your joke offensive or she does not understand how you could forget an important milestone. Perhaps, you’ve been treating your girlfriend too casually, and she’s fed up with your inattention. Relationships are made up of the good times and the bad. But they grow stronger when both of you are willing to do what it takes to get past the disagreement or misunderstanding. If you’re not a Type-A guy and you would rather play it sweet and subtle, apologizing via old-fashion mail can pave the way for a reconciliation. When you put your thoughts to paper, you automatically get extra time to compose your thoughts, write from the heart and edit out any statements that may cause more problems. When expressing yourself does not come easily, look at sample apology letters such as the ones below. Let these letters inspire you to sit down and create your own love letter from the heart.
When Saying you’re Sorry could Lead to a Stronger Relationship
- Dearest ________, You’re mad at me, and I deserve every ounce of your anger and disappointment. I messed up like the doofus that I am sometimes. I can’t even find the right words to describe how disappointed I am in myself, but please know that I am deeply sorry for missing our anniversary. I am kicking myself for not being more organized and for not making you the top priority in my life. There is nothing I would like more right now than for you to give me another chance. I promise that from this day forward, I will strive to be more thoughtful and caring. I will use a reminder app to keep track of dates and important events. I will be the boyfriend that you deserve. I am truly sorry. Please forgive me.
- My love, Words will never be able to express all the regret I’ve been feeling these past few days. I know everything has been my fault, and I want to say that I am sorry. The only thing I’m asking for is for your forgiveness. Without you my life is empty, and losing you because of something I did is something I could never allow myself to do. I feel so stupid knowing that even though I promised to make you happy, I was the one to cause you sadness. If you ever bring yourself to forgive me, I want you to know that I will be here patiently waiting for you to come back to my loving arms, so we can continue living our lives together. I love you more than I could possibly love anything else in this world, even myself.
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- Dear _____, You are the love of my life, and you have shown me nothing but kindness and compassion since we met. I, on the other hand, have acted recklessly without thinking about how my choices affect the people that I love. You tried to correct me gently, but I foolishly listened to my own counsel. I don’t blame you for walking away. It has been a few weeks since that day, and they have been the darkest and loneliest time of my life. I am truly sorry for hurting you. Please have dinner with me so that I can apologize properly. I understand that you’re not ready to take me back, and I fully intend to work for my absolution. Please help me become a better person. You are my rock and my conscience. I am sorry. I want to show you that I can change. Please give me the chance to prove that I can change.
- To my lovely ________, I want you to know that I cherish the time that we have been together. We have grown as individuals and as partners. Our relationship has lifted me in ways I never imagined. I am crushed that we have reached this impasse where we don’t even talk anymore. I am here to tell you that I was wrong. I admit it, and I apologize for being wrong, for being thoughtless and for refusing to acknowledge my mistake quickly enough. The time for explanations has passed, but I cannot let you go on thinking that I am not the good person you have known for a long time. I hope you will find it in your heart to accept my apologies and allow me to make up for my errors and shortcomings. I hurt you, and my only desire at this point is to make up for that and prove to you that I mean it when I say that I am a changed man.
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- TO:______ FROM: Your Contrite Boyfriend. We made a promise to each other at the start of our relationship that we would always try to work out our differences quickly and truthfully so that we can grow in the process. Your silence has left me confused and worried that you no longer believe in us and all the dreams we share. I know I hurt you, and I am sincerely, utterly sorry for that. I was insensitive and obnoxious, embarrassing you in front of your family and friends. I deserve to be ignored, and I accept my punishment. I have also apologized to our friends who were witness to the incident. I hope that, in time, you will remember that beneath the false bravado, I am the same good person who has loved you since we met many years ago. Please forgive me.
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6 Steps to Write an Apology Letter to Your Girlfriend with an Example
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An apology letter to girlfriend might not be your usual way of communicating with your partner, especially since you could easily shoot her a text or email. Sometimes it takes something more substantial and detailed–like a letter, to say how truly sorry you are.
A letter gives you a chance to lay bare your thoughts and feelings concerning what has happened . You’re able to validate any ill feelings your girlfriend might be experiencing regarding your conduct. There’s also a chance to take responsibility for your role in what went wrong.
Take it as an opportunity to explain how you’ll interact with your girlfriend in the future to ensure you have a healthy and mutually-rewarding relationship. Overall, apologizing opens up the doors to communication and allows you to reconnect with your girl pal.
I’m guessing you’ve never written an apology letter, or you have but need fresh ideas on how to structure it. I’ve got you. We’ll explore what it means to apologize, why it’s hard to do sometimes, and when is the right time to send a letter.
I’ve included a sample letter and will guide you through a detailed, step-by-step process (with examples) to writing a powerful apology that can restore your relationship .
Table of Contents
What Is an Apology?
An apology is a statement said orally or in writing to acknowledge or admit a wrong, mistake, or failure to do something. The statement is usually accompanied by an expression of regret and an oath to avoid similar conduct in the future.
Some apologizers throw in a please-forgive-me part. You may or may not wish to ask for forgiveness . I suppose it depends on the nature and severity of the wrongdoing.
However, apologies that are sincere and heartfelt tend to make a greater impact. I would like for you to keep that in mind once we begin exploring the steps for preparing your letter.
What Is a Sincere Apology?
A sincere apology is one that acknowledges what you’ve done wrong. In making it, you should express regret, e.g., “I regret my decision.”
You can go on to say how the mistake was a learning and growth opportunity for you. At no point should your words indicate you’re making an excuse or trying to justify what went wrong.
Keep the focus on your behavior. Do not shift it to what the other person did. If you do, that’s nothing more than a deflection and intention to shift the blame to your BFF.
The onus is on her to recognize and take accountability for her role (if any) in what transpired.
Here are two acceptable examples of the proper way to acknowledge the wrong.
- “I’m sorry for hurting you by saying something I shouldn’t have.”
- “I recognize how much I’ve hurt you and deeply regret doing what I’ve done.”
Here are a few examples of what’s NOT a proper apolog y.
- “I’m sorry that you feel hurt by my action. ” You aren’t expressing regret for your action only for the way the person feels about it.
- “I am sorry that you think I did something wrong.” Here, you’re only apologizing for what your girlfriend thinks.
- “Sorry, but it wasn’t my fault.” This comes across as saying you’re not responsible for what happened and implying the other person is at fault.
There are other things a true apology should and shouldn’t include, which you will read as you go over how to pen a touching apology to girlfriend.
Why Is It So Hard to Apologize Sometimes?
Ego and pride can make something as simple as saying “I’m sorry for my action and how it affected you” much more difficult to do. Arrogant or narcissistic people usually don’t like apologizing. Their fragile egos cannot withstand admitting they were wrong.
For some people, saying sorry makes them feel inferior or powerless.
Others would rather not acknowledge their misstep to avoid feeling ashamed or guilty . You may feel apologizing will cause the other person to think you’re solely responsible for the problem.
When to Send a Girlfriend Apology Letter
An act that hurts one person may not hurt another person. One person may expect an apology or repentance, while another may not. Usually, the individual’s personality type and core values influence how they react. You’ll have to judge each situation on a case-by-case basis to determine what conduct, on your part, warrants an apology.
An apology letter to girlfriend may be warranted in cases of a terrible wrong or if you feel you’re best able to get your thoughts across using that method of communication. Here are some example situations that may require writing a letter:
- You were rude or unkind to your girlfriend
- You criticized her harshly or unfairly
- You behaved in a disrespectful manner toward her
- You damaged or lost her property
- You engaged in reckless or hurtful behavior, e.g., spreading a rumor about her
- You failed to keep a promise
- You’ve broken her trust by lying or stealing
Remember, you can offer an apology even if your action was unintentional . Timing is also important , in terms of reaching an amicable solution. The sooner you attempt to make amends, the sooner your relationship can get back on track without ill feelings or resentment on both sides.
A Step-by-Step Approach to Writing an Impressive Apology
Sometimes saying you’re sorry just isn’t appropriate or enough. The situation might be so dire, it calls for a formal apology . For example, causing your girlfriend to lose her job. You may, however, find yourself at loss as to how to begin penning the letter, especially if you haven’t written one before.
A convincing apology should have these six (6) primary elements :
- Acknowledge the mistake or wrongdoing
- Recognize the effect of your conduct and provide validation
- Apologize for the mistake or wrongdoing
- Show a willingness to accept the consequences of your action
- Share how you intend to resolve the issue/fix the problem
- Ask for forgiveness
By following the outline above and the guide below, y ou will end up with a letter that could reestablish trust in the relationship.
STEP 1. Acknowledge Your Mistake
Begin your apology by letting your girlfriend know you’re aware that you did something wrong. For example, if you lost some of value that she lent you (maybe a record her dad gave her as a kid), say,
“I’m aware I made a terrible mistake by not taking good care of the record you lent me.”
Starting by acknowledging your mistake lets your girlfriend know right away what the letter is all about. Straight away, you’re able to disarm her and get her interested in what’s written in the rest of the letter.
Further, accepting that you erred shows you’re willing to take ownership of the offensive conduct. The acknowledgment at the outset conveys sincerity and could make her more open to resolving the problem and offering forgiveness .
STEP 2. Recognize the Effect of Your Conduct
Not all of us have the emotional intelligence or self-awareness to see the effects our behavior has on others, whether intentional or not. As such, it’s vital to take the opportunity to recognize the impact your slip-up has had on your gal pal. She might be feeling sad, angry, disappointed, or distrustful.
Remember to validate her feelings in the process. You could say something to this effect:
“I realized how upset and disappointed you are over my lack of care for a record that had such sentimental meaning for you. I would be upset, too, if someone did that to me. So, yes, you have every right to feel that way.”
People feel good when you recognize they are humans with feelings just like you. You’re also demonstrating empathy by showing you understand why your girlfriend feels that way.
STEP 3. Apologize for Your Mistake
Go right into your apology in the next paragraph . Consider formulating it like this.
“This brings me to the most important reason for my letter, which is to sincerely apologize for how I acted. [Anne] I’m sorry for losing the record you trusted me with. I should have taken greater care to keep it safe, but I didn’t, and I know I failed you.”
According to VeryWellMind , “Apologizing re-establishes dignity for those you hurt.” Your girlfriend will likely feel a lot better knowing that you value how she feels and even took the time to write her a traditional letter .
Keep the focus on your action only. Do not introduce the word “BUT” right after you said what you’re sorry for. “ But” automatically voids the apology. What you say next could also come across as shifting the blame to her.
Be careful not to bring up your girlfriend’s prior actions, reactions, or responses in order to defend yourself, criticize her, or justify what happened .
STEP 4. Show a Willingness to Accept the Consequences
You’re doing great thus far, having arrived at the climax of your letter by making a clear and unequivocal apology . Now it’s time to take things to the next level by showing your girlfriend you understand there could be repercussions and are willing to accept them.
Remember to express regret for the consequences your girlfriend had to face as a result of your negligence.
Here’s what you could write:
“By losing the record, I cheated you out of an opportunity to ever listen to it again. I’ve also caused you a financial loss, which I’m sure you don’t put as high of a price on as the sentimentality. I want you to know I take full responsibility for my action and accept the consequences.”
Your willingness to face the consequences of your action shows integrity and humility. It further signals how sincerely sorry you are. There’s also a level of reassurance you would take greater care of your girlfriend’s belongings if she were to trust you again with a personal item of hers.
STEP 5. Say How You Intend to Resolve the Issue
In the next paragraph of the letter, turn your attention to the way you intend to fix the problem or improve the situation. This is huge since many people say sorry and leave it right there. They don’t take accountability for leaving you less off , whether financially or otherwise.
Continue the letter by reassuring your girlfriend you’re willing to do everything within reason to make amends and restore trust.
In this case, the example scenario is losing her record. Remind her you’re aware there may be a cost attached and that you have no problem paying her back, or finding a replacement to ease the pain… perhaps making new memories together moving forward.
You could put it this way:
“I know I’ve caused you an emotional and financial loss and I’m willing to repay you. I’ve been searching online for a replacement. I’ve even spoken with your dad to express my sincere apology. Whatever it takes to fix this, I’ll do for you.”
Coming prepared with an action plan to resolve the issue shows your BFF you put serious thought into finding a way forward.
STEP 6. Ask for Forgiveness
End your apology letter to your girlfriend by asking her to forgive you. Keep it short and to the point, but be sure to let her know you’re open to suggestions on how to move forward.
Here’s an example of what you can say:
“Once again, I am truly sorry. I assure you this won’t happen again. I hope you accept my apology and can find it in your heart to forgive me. I value what we have and am willing to take any further step you think might help bring a final resolution.
It's now time to deliver your letter!
Once you’ve successfully penned your thoughts, read it over to ensure you used the right words and are sending the message you intend. A good rule of thumb is to put yourself in your girlfriend’s shoes to see how you would receive the information. Make any necessary adjustments then arrange to deliver or mail the note.
Sample Apology Letter to Girlfriend
Dear Anne, I know you’re really mad at me right now and don’t want to hear from me, but I hope you’ll hear me out. You trusted me enough to lend me a record that holds great value in your heart. Losing it is totally my fault. I should have taken greater care of where I placed it, as promised. I want you to know that you have every right to be angry at me. I’m truly sorry for losing the record by not acting responsibly. I know I failed you. Please know that I’m willing to replace or repay you for the cost as soon as you let me know which option you prefer. Or if there is someone other way to right this wrong, let me know. I’ll do it for you. I’m also taking this opportunity to ask you to accept my apology and forgive me in your own time. If you decide to trust me again with your personal belongings, I want to reassure you that I will never let this happen again. Thank you for reading the entire letter. I hope to hear from you soon. With love, Nicholas
Final Thoughts on Apology Letter to Girlfriend
Every once in a while we screw up so terribly in our relationships that writing a traditional letter might be the most effective way to make things right . You may have to ‘put pride aside’ and ‘eat humble pie.’ It’s worth it!
By apologizing in a formal way, you show you’re serious about taking responsibility for your mistake and willing to take steps to make amends .
Both you and your girlfriend will benefit in the end and can continue your courtship without any hard feelings.
Want to strengthen your relationship and avoid the need for apologies in the future? Read our piece on 15 Best Trust Building Exercises All Couples Should Try .