new york times essay things i'll do differently when i get old

Now Available: Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Now a best-seller! Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

BOOKS & BOOKS AND MIAMI BOOK FAIR PRESENT…

  An Evening with Steven Petrow in conversation with Jeanne Phillips  (aka Dear Abby)

Dr. Regina Koepp

 Addressing Ageism & Age Discrimination with Steven Petrow

AGING GRACEFULLY

 Meetup Live, in a conversation with Steven Petrow 

A conversation with Steven Petrow and Adam Schartoff 

What They're Saying

Book tour summer 2021, words bookstore, purple crow books.

Maplewood, New Jersey

June 28, 2021 at 7:30 pm

With Kim Severson of The New York Times 

Information and Registration

flyleaf books

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

June 29, 2021 at 6:00 pm

With Daniel Wallace

Hillsborough, North Carolina 

July 10, 2021 at 6:30 pm

Information

hampton library

Bryant park reading room.

Bridgehampton, New York

July 16, 2021 5 pm  

Fridays at Five Author Series 

New York, NY

July 21, 2021 at 12:30 pm

quail ridge books

Raleigh, North Carolina

July 28, 2021 at 7 pm

In conversation with David Payne 

Information and Registration  

NOW AVAILABLE!

Stupid things i won’t do when i get old.

A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong 

Based on his wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old," award-winning journalist Steven Petrow rewrites the rules of aging — while infusing them with large dose of his signature humor, poignancy, and truth — in this must-have book for everyone on the cusp of or even just contemplating their "sunset years." For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging.

Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of "things I won't do when I get old"--mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included "You won't have to shout at me that I'm deaf," and "I won't blame the family dog for my incontinence," became the basis of this rousing collection of do's and don'ts, wills and won'ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don't want to age the way previous generations did. "Old people" hoard. They bore relatives — and strangers — with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they've become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don't need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way...

In " Stupid Things I Won't Do When I'm Old ," Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, "I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder — to me — to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to 'old.'"

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

ORDER NOW AT:

• Books a Million
• Hudson Booksellers
• Bookshop.org

Copyright © 2023 Steven Petrow 

All Rights Reserved.

Powered by GoDaddy

• In The New York Times
• In the Washington Post
• In USA Today
• More Essays & Columns
• Send Steven an Email
• Stupid Things I Won't Do

Free shipping on orders over $20!

The Wills and Won’ts of Getting Old

August 5, 2021 | Books , New release

By Steven Petrow

Not long after my 50th birthday (as my parents were entering their old age) I began to keep a list of what I called “the stupid things I won’t do when I get old.” This tally—which kept getting longer and longer—proved to be a highly judgmental, not-quite-mean-spirited-but-close accounting of everything I thought my parents were doing wrong. Now that I’m wiser (and, yes, older myself now) I’m relying on that list more and more often as a reminder to myself to age smarter. Now if I could just remember where I keep the list!

I Won’t… Hoard the Butter Pats

What is it about growing older that makes us fear we’ll never get another chance to score an orange marmalade? After my parents died, I could have opened a greasy spoon called “Smucker’s Café” that served only jelly, jam, and anything else packaged in those little “portion cups” they had taken home from diners. That was just the beginning – my siblings and I had to clear out decades’ worth of photos, check stubs, and bric-a-brac. I vowed to myself then that I’d never make anyone do that for me, so I’m tackling my clutter now – including clothes I’ll never wear again, tax returns from the 1980s, and any pats of butter I may have stashed in the refrigerator.

I Won’t … Turn My House into a Sauna

Our internal thermostats can go a little haywire as we get older, and for many people that means feeling cold—very cold, all the time—and keeping their home at a temperature more typical of a sweat lodge. I’ve been to dinner parties where the guests knew to dress in layers so they could peel down to enjoy a meal in their hosts’ overheated home. If you find yourself turning up the thermostat to 85, or turning off your AC in August, you might want to do a reality check. Don’t cook your guests! Ask them if they’re comfortable.

I Won’t … Double Space After a Period

Yes, we all learned it in touch-typing class, when that extra space helped mark the beginning of a new sentence. But come on, folks—that changed three decades ago with the introduction of the personal computer. Surely we can move on from this glaring symbol of old age! I know it’s a reflex, deep down in your brain, and you barely realize you’re doing it. But it marks us as old, and resistant to new inventions. One space after a period! (And an exclamation mark.) So hook up that Bluetooth speaker to your smartphone and crank up your Spotify playlist—even if you’re listening to the Rolling Stones, you can still get with the 21 st century! Say it after me: Single space, single space after a period.

I Won’t … Reserve the Early-Bird Special

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry berates his retired parents for insisting on the early-bird special? When dinner at 8 becomes 7, then 6, then 5… you’re on the slippery slope, my friends. Before you know it you’re eating your last meal of the day at 4:30 and going to bed by 9. I know, I know, the senior discount ends at 6 pm, but that doesn’t mean your day has to end while the sun is still up. Experts say that early dinners and bedtimes can sometimes be warning signs of loneliness, depression, or illness. So as an occasional indulgence, go ahead and take the early-bird discount—but don’t let it become a habit.

I Won’t … Refuse Help

My dad, a veteran TV producer, used to yell at us all to “up your audio!” when he couldn’t hear us. He also used to fall, frequently, because he refused to use a walker, cane, or even a stylish walking stick, even though he desperately needed one. My pleas to him to preserve his independence by accepting these assistive devices fell on deaf ears (literally). This one really is stupid—we wear glasses when we need them, so why can’t we accept the other little helpers? If you have trouble hearing, you risk slipping into isolation. If you don’t have the balance you used to, you risk a broken hip that can start you on a terrible spiral. Rocking a rollator is just a smart thing to do. Do it, if not for yourself for your loved ones

And what will I do?

I Will … Give Up My Car Keys Before I Hurt Someone

It’s a fact: For some people, there comes a time when it’s not safe to drive anymore. I actually turned in my own mother—I reported her to the DMV when she refused to stop her accident-prone driving—and I don’t want to make anyone have to do that to me. I hope I maintain my reflexes, my vision, and my judgement until well into my old age, but I know it’s stupid (and dangerous) to keep driving if the fender-benders and near-misses start to add up.

I Will … Dress However I Damn Please

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not ready to trade in my favorite clothes for outfits that scream “old.” I know I can’t get away with muscle shirts and short shorts any more, but I still don’t listen to anyone who tells me “that’s too young for you.” I think I get it from my mom, who did this one right: She was defiant about fashion “truisms,” especially those about age. If Mom could rock her Gucci and Pucci at 80, I can certainly break out my vintage Lilly Pulitzer trousers once a year. That floral pink and hibiscus motif makes me happy, and I don’t care who thinks I’m too old for them. Dress for yourself. Don’t become invisible.

I Will  … Talk About Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘n Roll (Anything but my aches and pains)

We used to talk about our love lives, our travel adventures, our career moves—when did our topics change to creaky hips, high blood sugar, and sleep apnea? If every social conversation you have these days seems to center on sciatica, angina, and replacement joints, you’ve become part of the “organ recital.” Next time you’re at a dinner party, give yourself a few minutes to catch up on who’s got what, then move on! We are not our illnesses. I will not define myself that way.

Based on his wildly popular New York Times essay, “Things I’ll Do Differently When I Get Old,” award-winning journalist Steven Petrow rewrites the rules of aging—while infusing them with large dose of his signature humor, poignancy, and truth—in this must-have book for everyone on the cusp of or even just contemplating their “sunset years.” For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow’s wildly popular New York Times essay, “Things I’ll Do Differently When I Get Old.”

Soon after his 50th birthday, Steven Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way . . .

In  Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I’m Old , Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.'”

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

• « Little-Known Facts About the 1920s
• Giving Back »

Recent Posts

• Winter Romance Recs from Robin Lefler
• Heartwarming Winter Tales
• What to Give a Wine Enthusiast
• Armchair Travel Books: Thrills and Chills Edition

Between the Chapters

• Cozy Mystery
• Featured Selections for This Month
• Historical Fiction
• Meet The Author
• Mood Reader
• New release
• Reading Challenge
• Sweepstakes
• Uncategorized

Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old

June 28, 2021 @ 7:30 pm

Virtual Event with author Steven Petrow in conversation with Kim Severson of the New York Times

Monday, June 28 — 7:30 PM

REGISTER HERE> BUY THIS BOOK>

For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow’s wildly popular New York Times essay, “Things I’ll Do Differently When I Get Old.”

Petrow was last at the book store with “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners” and he’ll be talking about some of the aging challenges specific to the LGBTQ community.

Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way…

In  Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old , Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Event navigation.

• Breaking Barriers

• Share full article

Advertisement

Supported by

English Language Arts

From ‘Lives’ to ‘Modern Love’: Writing Personal Essays With Help From The New York Times

By Katherine Schulten

• Oct. 20, 2016

If you’re a regular Times reader, you’ve no doubt enjoyed, and maybe even taught with, some of the 1,000-plus personal essays from the Magazine’s Lives column , which has run weekly for decades.

But did you know that NYTimes.com also regularly features personal writing on everything from love and family to life on campus , how we relate to animals , living with disabilities and navigating anxiety ?

In this post we suggest several ways to inspire your students’ own personal writing, using Times models as “mentor texts,” and advice from our writers on everything from avoiding “zombie nouns” to writing “dangerous” college essays.

And since we’ve linked to but a fraction of the thousands of engaging personal pieces published in the paper over the years, we also invite you to add your own suggestions in the comments.

Seven Ideas to Inspire and Improve Personal Essays

App smart | digital diaries, a look at apps that help you document your daily life, through words, pictures and social media..

1. Keep a journal.

Research suggests that recording our run-of-the-mill, daily experiences, rather than just our highs and lows, could bring us unexpected joy. And there are apps you can use to make doing that easier.

Read “ How Keeping a Diary Can Surprise You ” to learn more — and check out what other teenagers told us back in 2011 when we asked, Do You Keep a Diary or Journal?

But don’t stop at just journaling. Go back, read over what you wrote, look for patterns and think about what these “personal stories” reveal about you. A recent article on the Well blog suggests that writing and editing stories about yourself can help you see your life differently, and actually lead to behavioral changes:

The concept is based on the idea that we all have a personal narrative that shapes our view of the world and ourselves. But sometimes our inner voice doesn’t get it completely right. Some researchers believe that by writing and then editing our own stories, we can change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in the way of better health.

Read about how personal story editing helped 40 college freshman at Duke University who were struggling academically, then think about how you can use the techniques yourself.

2. Use current events and issues as a jumping-off point.

That’s what we’ve done every school day since 2009 with our Student Opinion question : we find an interesting article in The Times, pose a question about it, and invite any teenager anywhere in the world to answer it.

In fact, we’ve just published a list of 650 of those questions that ask for personal and narrative writing , on topics like sports, travel, education, gender roles, video games, fashion, family, pop culture, social media and more. Visit the collection to get ideas and to access related Times articles to help you think more about each.

Then, ask you yourself, what issues and current events do you care most about? How do they impact your life? What personal stories can you tell that relate to them in some way?

For instance, maybe the impact of technology on our lives concerns you. In our collection of prompts , you can find nearly 50 different ways we’ve taken that topic on, each linked to a Times article or essay on the topic.

For just one example, though, you might read Gary Shteyngart’s essay “ Only Disconnect ”:

With each post, each tap of the screen, each drag and click, I am becoming a different person — solitary where I was once gregarious; a content provider where I at least once imagined myself an artist; nervous and constantly updated where I once knew the world through sleepy, half-shut eyes; detail-oriented and productive where I once saw life float by like a gorgeously made documentary film.

Does it surprise you to realize this essay was written in 2010? Do you think his observations are even more true today? What stories do you have to tell about life online?

Another excellent place to glean ideas is the Op-Ed page , where writers respond to the news of the day with occasional personal essays. In this one, a classic from 1999, a teenager reacts to the Columbine school shootings — then blamed in part on school cliques that made some feel like outsiders — with an essay headlined, “ Yes, I’m in a Clique .”

Or read this week’s “ How to Vote as an Immigrant and a Citizen ,” an Op-Ed by the novelist Imbolo Mbue about what it means to her to vote on November 8 and, for the first time, have “a say in America’s future.”

Other great places to look for ideas other than our daily Student Opinion question and the Op-Ed page? Check the Trending lists , or visit our monthly Teenagers in The Times series .

3. Take some tips from experts.

Our lesson plan, Writing Rules! Advice From The Times on Writing Well , compiles nine guidelines from many different Times sources on everything from “listening to the voice in your head” to writing with “non-zombie nouns and verbs.”

But for one-stop shopping on the personal essay in particular, you might just read “ How to Write a Lives Essay ,” in which the author asks the magazine’s editors for a “single, succinct piece of advice” for getting an essay published in the long-running column devoted to personal stories.

Here are a few of the answers, but read the whole post to see them all:

• More action, more details, less rumination. Don’t be afraid of implicitness. And the old Thom Yorke line: “Don’t get sentimental. It always ends up drivel.” • Meaning (or humor, or interestingness) is in specific details, not in broad statements. • Write a piece in which something actually happens, even if it’s something small. • Don’t try to fit your whole life into one “Lives.” • Don’t try to tell the whole story. • Do not end with the phrase “I realized that … ” • Tell a small story — an evocative, particular moment. • Better to start from something very simple that you think is interesting (an incident, a person) and expand upon it, rather than starting from a large idea that you then have to fit into an short essay. For example, start with “the day the Santa Claus in the mall asked me on a date” rather than “the state of affairs that is dating in an older age bracket.” • Go to the outer limit of your comfort zone in revealing something about yourself. • Embrace your own strangeness.

How can you apply any, or all, of these pieces of advice to an essay you’re writing?

4. Borrow an opening line for inspiration.

Back in 2011, we ran a contest that invited students to Use Opening Lines From the Magazine’s ‘Lives’ Column as Writing Prompts . Contestants were allowed to write stories, essays, plays, memoirs or poetry, and could use lines like these:

It’s impossible to look cool when you’re part of a tour group. (From “ In Too Deep ”) Mornings are not our best family moments . (From “ Mother’s Little Helper ”) Cosmic forces have a way of turning up the heat to make us change. (From “ The Tractor Driver or the Pothead?” )

After you look at the full list of first lines, jump over to read the work of our winners , and see how they took first sentences like “I am parked in a rental car in front of the house where I grew up,” and made them their own.

Around Valentine’s Day that same year, we invited students to use first lines from the weekly Modern Love column as “passion prompts ,” and that time we showed them how to take the basic idea from the essay and adapt it for themselves:

• Times sentence, from “The Day the House Blew Up” : We went out to the house last month to celebrate Valentine’s Day. But then the house exploded. Sentence starter: We went to [place and time] to celebrate Valentine’s Day. But then… • Times sentence , from “In a Wedding Album From the City’s 5 Borough Halls, Tales as Varied as the Rooms” : It was just another Saturday night on Queens Boulevard two years ago when Eddie Ellis and Gladys Corcino pulled up beside each other at a red light near 65th Street. Sentence starter : It was just another [day/time of the week] on/in [location] when [name] and [name]…

Scroll through all our choices from these two posts, or find your own opening line from a more recent Times essay to inspire you. How can you adapt it and make it your own?

5. Use images to spur memories and ideas.

We’re all about images as inspiration on this site, and this year we even have a new daily writing feature called Picture Prompts , and a lesson plan about teaching with images to go with it.

Scroll through the feature , and either follow the prompts we suggest, or use any of the images that catch your interest to write whatever you like. What memories does it inspire? What personal connection to the content can you make? What stories from your own life does it remind you of?

Other great places to find images in The Times?

• Lens , a Times site for photography, video and photojournalism

• The Lively Morgue , a Tumblr of images from the Times archives

• Looking at Our Hometowns , a 2013 Lens project that asked, “What would happen if you asked high school students to help create a 21st-century portrait of the country by turning their cameras on their neighborhoods, families, friends and schools?”

6. Craft a great college essay.

Our lesson plan, Getting Personal: Writing College Essays for the Common Application , helps students explore the open-ended prompts on the Common Application , then analyze Times pieces that might serve as models for their own application essays.

For example, take this prompt: “ The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? ”

Here are some first-person Times essays that could serve as models for writing about the theme of failure:

• “A Rat’s Tale ”: A writer discusses her failure to be the sister her brother wanted and what she learned. • “Pancake Chronicles ”: An entertaining account of a disastrous first job. • “A Heartbroken Temp at Brides.com ”: After a groom changes his mind, his would-be bride, with “no money, no apartment, no job” takes a position at a wedding website.

The lesson also links to a number of Times articles that offer advice on everything from “ Going for the ‘Dangerous’ Essay ” to “ Treating a College Admissions Essay Like a First Date .”

Another source of inspiration is Ron Lieber’s annual contest for the best college essays that address issues of money, work and social class.

These essays, as he wrote in 2015 , are “filled with raw, decidedly mixed feelings about parents and their sacrifices; trenchant accounts of the awkwardness of straddling communities with vastly different socio-economic circumstances; and plain-spoken — yet completely affecting — descriptions of what it means to make a living and a life in America today.”

You can find them all, by year, here:

2016: Memories and Hopes: The Top Essays

2015: Essays About Work and Class That Caught a College’s Eye

2014: Four Stand-Out College Essays About Money

2013: Standing Out From the Crowd

7. Learn from more Times models on popular themes.

What we’ve compiled below is just a very, very small taste of the thousands of essays you can find in The Times on these topics.

Please preview any that you assign to students to make sure they are appropriate.

Love, Romance and Relationships

Most of the selections below are from the long-running Modern Love column , and begin with some winners of their college essay contest. You might also want to read some observations from the editor on “ How We Write About Love ” and his selection of “ The 10 Best Modern Love Columns Ever .”

” Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define ”

“ Let’s Not Get to Know Each Other Better ”

“ No Labels, No Drama, Right? ”

“ The Perils of Not Dying for Love ”

“ Swearing Off the Modern Man ”

“ Swiping Right on Tinder, but Staying Put ”

“GPS on a Path to the Heart”

“Alone When the Bedbugs Bite”

“Drowning in Dishes, but Finding a Home”

“ The Ballad of Tribute Steve ”

“Geekdom Revisited”

“ The Summer I Discovered Suburbia ”

“ Safe on the Southbank ”

“Advice; Teen Angst? Nah!”

“ My High-School Hoax ”

“ My New Look ”

“ How Ramen Got Me Through Adolescence ”

“ Forbidden Nonfruit ”

“ Familiar Dish, Familiar Friend ”

“ Memories of Meals Past ”

“We Found Our Son in the Subway”

“ Disco Papa ”

“Nice Girls”

“ Skinny-Dipping With Grandma ”

“ Dive Nights ”

“ Praying for Common Ground at the Christmas-Dinner Table ”

“ A Nanny’s Love ”

“The Subject of the Sibling”

“Montana Soccer-Mom Moment”

Race, Religion, Gender and Sexuality

“ Milwaukee’s Divide Runs Right Through Me ”

“ An Open Letter to the Woman Who Told My Family to Go Back to China ”

“ I’m Ghanaian-American. Am I Black? ”

“ Anti-Semitism at My University, Hidden in Plain Sight ”

“ Intolerance and Love in Jamaica ”

“ What I Learned in the Locker Room ”

“ The Boy of Summer ”

“ Track Changes ”

“ Learning to Embrace Sexuality’s Gray Areas ”

“ The Undress Code ”

“ My Gymnastics Feminism ”

And a Few Extras that Don’t Fit Neatly Into Any of the Previous Categories ...

”The Monkey Suit”

“ Who’s the Jerk Now, Jerk? ”

“Finding That Song”

“ Scanning the Pandas ”

“ Eternal Bragging Rights ”

Places to Find Personal Essays in The New York Times

Lives: A place for true personal essays, this column has been running weekly in the Magazine for decades.

Modern Love : A series of weekly reader-submitted essays that explore the joys and tribulations of love.

On Campus : Dispatches from college students, professors and administrators on higher education and university life.

Ties : Essays on parenting and family from Well .

Essay series from The Opinionator (some no longer taking submissions):

• The Couch: A series about psychotherapy • Private Lives : Personal essays from writers around the globe, on the news of the world and the news of individual lives. • The Stone : A forum for contemporary philosophers and other thinkers on issues both timely and timeless. • Draft : Essays by grammarians, historians, linguists, journalists, novelists and others on the art of writing — from the comma to the tweet to the novel — and why a well-crafted sentence matters more than ever in the digital age. • Townies: A series about life in New York — and occasionally other cities — written by the novelists, journalists and essayists who live there. • Disability : Essays, art and opinion exploring the lives of people living with disabilities. • Anxiety : This series explores how we navigate the worried mind, through essay, art and memoir. • Menagerie : Explores the strange and diverse ways the human and animal worlds intersect.

Metropolitan Diary : Short anecdotes about life in New York City

Complaint Box : Discontinued in 2013, this column was part of the City Room blog and simply asked New Yorkers, “What Annoys You?”

More of Our Lesson Plans on Writing Personal Pieces

I Remember: Teaching About the Role of Memory Across the Curriculum

Creative State of Mind: Focusing on the Writing Process

Reading and Responding: Holding Writing Workshops

Reader Idea | Personal Writing Based on The Times’s Sunday Routine Series

Can’t Complain? Writing About Pet Peeves

Thank You, Thesaurus: Experimenting With the Right Word vs. the Almost-Right Word

Skills Practice | Writing Effective Openings

Attention! Your ePaper is waiting for publication!

By publishing your document, the content will be optimally indexed by Google via AI and sorted into the right category for over 500 million ePaper readers on YUMPU.

This will ensure high visibility and many readers!

Your ePaper is now published and live on YUMPU!

You can find your publication here:

Share your interactive ePaper on all platforms and on your website with our embed function

[Full Book] PDF Download Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow

►►► Direct Download Link: https://bit.ly/3qDITpF ◄◄◄ (COPY AND PASTE IN NEW TAB) For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding.

• read-online
• stupid-things-i
• steven-petrow

Create successful ePaper yourself

Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.

Direct Download Link: https://bit.ly/3qDITpF

Book Description: For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent,

and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on

award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll

Do Differently When I Get Old."

Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—

mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing

wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the

family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills

and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.

The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore

relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after

they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t

need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is

another way...

In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and

stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding

that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed

reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’”

Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and

hope. And without hoarding.

Click HERE to Download eBook TStupid Things I Won't Do When I Get

Old by Steven Petrow

Read Online Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old by Steven

• More documents
• Recommendations

Direct Download Link: https://bit.ly/3qDITpFBook Description: For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent,and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based onaward-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'llDo Differently When I Get Old."Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doingwrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame thefamily dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, willsand won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical.The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They borerelatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after

• Page 2: they’ve become a danger to others

Extended embed settings

Inappropriate

You have already flagged this document. Thank you, for helping us keep this platform clean. The editors will have a look at it as soon as possible.

Mail this publication

Delete template.

Are you sure you want to delete your template?

DOWNLOAD ePAPER

This ePaper is currently not available for download. You can find similar magazines on this topic below under ‘Recommendations’.

Save as template?

• Help & Support
• tuxbrain.com
• ooomacros.org
• nubuntu.org
• Terms of service
• Privacy policy
• Cookie policy
• Cookie settings

Choose your language

Main languages

Further languages

• Bahasa Indonesia

Performing this action will revert the following features to their default settings:

Hooray! Your file is uploaded and ready to be published.

Saved successfully!

Ooh no, something went wrong!

Home — Essay Samples — Psychology — Childhood — Childhood Experiences: The Differences of Then and Now

Childhood then Vs Now: Differences and Similarities

• Categories: Childhood Childhood Development Childhood Experience

About this sample

Works Cited

• Boyd, D. (2014). It's complicated: The social lives of networked teens. Yale University Press.
• Cashmore, E. (2013). Childhood as spectacle: Relays of cultural meaning and the construction of children's identities. In T. Skelton, B. Valentine, & S. Chambers (Eds.), The Routledge Handbook of Cultural Geography (pp. 382-394). Routledge.
• Gardner, H. (2011). The unschooled mind: How children think and how schools should teach. Basic Books.
• Gee, J. P. (2012). Social linguistics and literacies: Ideology in discourses (4th ed.). Routledge.
• Ito, M., Baumer, S., Bittanti, M., Boyd, D., Cody, R., Herr-Stephenson, B., ... & Tripp, L. (2010). Hanging out, messing around, and geeking out: Kids living and learning with new media. MIT Press.
• Livingstone, S. (2018). Children and young people in a changing media environment. In The Routledge Handbook of Children, Adolescents and Media (pp. 1-16). Routledge.
• McFarland, D. A., & Pals, H. M. (2005). Motivation and social movements: The role of proximity and distance in framing the mobilization of 1968. American Sociological Review, 70(1), 65-85.
• Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming conversation: The power of talk in a digital age. Penguin Books.
• Twenge, J. M. (2017). iGen: Why today's super-connected kids are growing up less rebellious, more tolerant, less happy--and completely unprepared for adulthood--and what that means for the rest of us. Atria Books.
• White, M. (2013). The rise of the children's culture wars: Why 1990s youth and young adult fiction matters to the modern world. Scarecrow Press.

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Verified writer

• Expert in: Psychology Philosophy

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

5 pages / 2182 words

3 pages / 1531 words

2 pages / 723 words

1 pages / 524 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Childhood

This essay is going to be exploring how trauma during childhood can possibly cause mental health problems later in adult life. It is now widely accepted that distressing and traumatic events during childhood can cause mental [...]

Childhood is a time of wonder and discovery, a period when the world feels both vast and intimate. For those fortunate enough to grow up in a small town, this experience is often imbued with unique qualities and cherished [...]

The debate between video games and outdoor games as forms of recreation has become increasingly prominent in today's technology-driven society. Both types of games offer unique experiences and benefits, but they also present [...]

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is a serious mental disorder which can be diagnosed in a patient with at least two split and distinct personalities within him. The mental disorder has been known as hiddenness disease and [...]

Although we live in an unpredictable world, where families and relationships break. Kids even have to live away from their mother or father. Well, nobody underestimates the significance of parents for a child’s wellbeing. [...]

Growing up is one of the toughest things in life. We all must path that will help us as we grow older. There would be times when we will not make the right decision which we would later regret in our life for a lifetime. And one [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

🏆 best new york times topic ideas & essay examples, 🔎 good research topics about new york times, 💡 interesting topics to write about new york times, 💯 free new york times essay topic generator.

• New York Times vs. Sullivan Case When asked why they made such an action, the officials to the Newspaper agency responded by saying: “We did that because we did not want anything that was published by the Times to be a […]
• New York Times Company Overview In 2009, the revenue of the company was $2. In 2005 the revenue earned was mostly from the print advertisements and circulation that comprised of 61 and 27 percent of the revenue respectively.
• Ethics Analysis of the New York Times Company The NYTC, through the New York Times, has continued on the founding father’s mission of serving the interests of the citizens while observing corporate ethical behaviors.
• “Mind over Mass Media” Steven Pinker Article in New York Times The Internet is not dangerous by itself and does not lead to the development of emotional and psychological disorders; instead, when used reasonably, electronic media hold a promise to improve the health and wellbeing of […]
• “Tracking the Global Food Situation” The New York Times To best analyze this article in the context of cost of production in the short run, it is necessary that an overview of the concept of cost of production in the short run is given.
• New York Times Coverage of the Nike+ Advertising Campaign Nike’s target market now spends most of its time on the web and on mobile devices, and the company has adjusted its advertising campaigns and advertising budgets to reflect this shift in consumer interest and […]
• The New York Times: An Analysis It is a statement that encapsulates the commitment to print news and to inform the public of the important things that the public needed to know.
• The New York Times Market and Financial Performance In this regard, the company’s new perspective on marketing should refocus in understanding the fundamental concepts of effective management. Using a competent marketing staff to complement the research and development outfit in creating the company’s […]
• The New York Times Major Challenges This approach will make the company a leading player in the newspaper business industry. This decision will make the newspaper a leading player in the sector.
• Under-age Criminals in the New York Times Archives The first article follows the case of an argument between two friends which had a lethal outcome, one of the boys shot the other one.
• The New York Times Website: Hacked Database Analysis They broke into the website on a Sunday morning to prove to a woman, who was about to publish a book on hacking, that they could gain access to any website.
• New York Times: Obama Vows to Push Immigration Changes Despite this bias, the report provides a fair view of the Democratic Party and the president’s view of the republicans on the issue of immigration.
• The New York Times Editorial “Haiti” Analysis The editorial highlights the steps made by the United States Government and other American organizations to help Haitians to surmount the aftermath of the earthquake in a comprehensive and very emotional language, providing quite complete […]
• Supreme Court in New York Times Co. v. United States The decision of the courts could have been because the executive lied to the public, and there was every right to make the public aware of this fact.
• The New York Times: Market Alignment Challenge This case study evaluates the market alignment challenge of the New York Times, through the introduction of the paywall platform, as a strategy to stay relevant in the digital marketplace.
• “Page One: Inside the New York Times Trailer” Documentary The new trend has also forced the company to lay off a section of its employees in the print media department as it responds to the market forces.
• Civil Liberty: NY Times v. United States Did the United States government show the justification for the need to meet the heavy burden for prior restraint on freedom of the press?
• Leadership at The New York Times Newspaper Wisdom comes in handy when the leader is balancing the interests of shareholders such that the leader’s actions lead to the common good.
• The New York Times Editorial Evaluation Publications by the Editorial board of The New York Times announce the opinions of the board itself, the editor, and the publisher.
• Newsworthy Articles from the New York Times This means that the targeted new information is current and interesting to the identified consumers, affects the greatest number of people, is appropriate to individuals near the event, involves prominent individuals, and evokes significant human […]
• Ecuadorian Mass Protests Due to Moreno’s New Austerity Measures The problem of protests and mass unrest in Quito, the capital of Ecuador, was also discussed in the articles by Joe Emersberger and Michael Weissenstein and Gonzalo Solano.
• Judicial Conduct Unbecoming by The New York Times Nevertheless, Luis Gonzalez, presiding justice of the Bronx and Manhattan’s appellate division, have instituted personal patronage “in his part of the court system”.
• The New York Times Newspaper’s Strategic Management Considering the analysis of the business performance, and the related aspects of the publishing business, there is a strong necessity to emphasize that the New York Times should focus on the issues of strategic management […]
• Past Newspaper Articles Analysis: The New York Times In comparison to the previous stories published 100 years ago, New York Times has a habit of making the chaotic and the most important issues, headlines.
• Healthcare Workforce in the Context of COVID-19 Pandemic: The New York Times and the Washington Post Hence, the primary aim of the present report is to analyze how such media sources as The New York Times and The Washington Post convey the data concerning the current state of the healthcare workforce […]
• Plagiarism in the Real World: Jayson Blair and the New York Times One of the notorious cases of plagiarism is the Jason Blair scandal that happened in 2003. Another example of real-world plagiarism is Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention in 2016.
• Biden’s Push to Increase Tax on the Rich From New York Times The major reason for this news is Biden’s will to increase taxes for the rich to fund his plan of reshaping the economy.
• A Comparison of New York Times and Sullivan
• Brief Analysis of the New York Times Company Versus United States Case
• The National Media and Things Genetic: Coverage in the New York Times
• New York Times Market Entry
• Comparison of the New Coverage of the New York Times and USA Today
• Being the New York Times: The Political Behaviour of a Newspaper
• Assessing the Influence of the New York Times on Network Television Evening News
• Comparing the Daily News and the New York Times
• Rhetorical Analysis of a the New York Times
• The Civil Rights Movement: The New York Times Newspaper
• New York Times: How Has It Evolved in Past Years and Added to Its Critical Success?
• Internal Analysis of The New York Times
• How Bias Shapes the News: Challenging the New York Times’ Status
• The New York Times and Washington Post Business Concepts
• Making News at the New York Times
• The Market for Local Newspapers and the New York Times
• The New York Times Case: A Note on “The Central Meaning of the First Amendment”
• New York Times Coverage of Presidential Campaigns
• The Importance of the Issue Among Readers of the Paper and Online Versions of the New York Times
• New York Times and Network TV News Coverage of Foreign Disasters
• The Portrayal of AIDS in the Media: An Analysis of Articles in The New York Times
• Coverage of the Egyptian Revolution in the New York Times
• New York Times Culture: How to Shape an Enduring Organizational?
• Using Twitter and Facebook as a Journalistic Source in the New York Times
• The Different Political Ideologies of Fox News and the New York Times
• A Content Analysis of Articles on Illegal Immigration and Amnesty: The New York Times
• The New York Times and the Florida Election Dispute
• Censorship in the New York Times
• The New York Times: Free Speech Lawyering in the Age of Google and Twitter
• Two Different Ways of Innovating With Information Technology: The New York Times and Boston Scientific
• Multitasking: Technology and New York Times
• The New York Times on the US Economy
• Creating a Personal Relationship With Readers: The New York Times
• The Use of Metaphors in the New York Times News
• New York Times vs. Sullivan: Time to Return to the Central Meaning of the First Amendment
• Symbolic Gender Politics in the New York Times
• Coverage of Abortion in the New York Times
• Lighting Energy Savings in the Headquarters Building of the New York Times
• Journalistic Fraud: How Does the New York Times Distort the News?
• Reasons for Not Trusting the News in the New York Times
• New York Times News: The Latest Breaking News
• Searching for Truth and Helping People Understand the World: The New York Times
• Paying for What Was Free: Lessons From the New York Times Paywall
• Public Officials and Libel: In Defense of New York Times Co. vs. Sullivan
• The Journalist as Programmer: The New York Times Interactive News Technology Department
• The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage
• Paralympics and Its Athletes Through the Lens of the New York Times
• Hard News: The Scandals at the New York Times and the Future of American Media
• Social Change in the New York Times’ Advertising Business News
• Metaphors and Metonymies in New York Times Supplement News Headlines
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2023, February 27). 77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/new-york-times-essay-topics/

"77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." IvyPanda , 27 Feb. 2023, ivypanda.com/essays/topic/new-york-times-essay-topics/.

IvyPanda . (2023) '77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples'. 27 February.

IvyPanda . 2023. "77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." February 27, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/new-york-times-essay-topics/.

1. IvyPanda . "77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." February 27, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/new-york-times-essay-topics/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "77 New York Times Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." February 27, 2023. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/new-york-times-essay-topics/.

• Newspaper Topics
• Propaganda Topics
• Entertainment Ideas
• Media Ethics Titles
• Fake News Research Ideas
• Censorship Essay Ideas
• Digital Transformation Topics
• Broadcasting Paper Topics
• Media Violence Titles
• Telecommunications Questions
• LinkedIn Topics
• YouTube Topics
• Yahoo Research Topics
• Amazon Topics
• Google Paper Topics

Search form

• Advanced Search

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong (Hardcover)

• Description
• About the Author
• Reviews & Media
• Self-help / Aging
• Family & Relationships / Life Stages / Later Years
• Humor / Topic / Adult